Category Archives: Sex And Substances

Is bigger better?

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Name: Marie
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Location: Florida
I’ve had sex with exactly two guys. Each one has had an average sized penis, but both thought they were small. The sex we had was nice and I was happy with it. What I don’t understand is why guys have this obsession with having a large penis? From everything I’ve read, most women don’t care about size and yet that’s all I hear about from my guy friends. What gives?

Like I always say — Nothing quite captures a dude’s imagination like his cock. Its size, shape and general appearance is a source of endless wonderment. Unfortunately, along with all that wonderment there often comes envy. I wrote a long column about much the same thing back in February — Willie Worry & Willie Pride.huge pen..

I suppose if we never had anything to compare it to, our precious willie would be the best darn willie there ever was. That’s the beauty of self-love. Funny though how a guy’s self-admiration can evaporate when he’s confronted with the sight of some other fella swinging some heavy pipe. This change in mood is pretty predictable. Some people suggest that we have been programmed to believe that big is better. And this is a throwback to when us men folk were just learning to stand upright and move about on two legs. It would have been pretty obvious what we have hangin’ down there

Since the time of our primate ancestors, humans have worshiped the male phallus. At first the representations were nothing more than crude upright pillars of wood or stone called a lingam. The Egyptians created a more exalted depiction — the obelisk — to represent the sun god, Ra’s, cock. In time, the obelisk would morph into the church steeple and the mosque’s minaret, as the preferred religion changed with the ages. When capitalism became the new creed, the steeple and minaret morphed once again into the skyscraper. Simple upright pillar or immense high-rise they’re all statements of virility, power and prestige. And isn’t it just like us to believe that the city with the biggest skyscraper wins. If this “bigger is better” sort of mentality has been going on in art, architecture and religion for several millennia, you know for sure it’s been happening on an individual level too.

tantric_lingam_stone_536   Munich, Obelisk     Toshiba Exif JPEG     Istanbul_+Blaue+Moschee+Minarette14     swirl-skyscraper

From the beginning of recorded time different cultures have designated cock size as an outer sign of a man’s inner values. The size of a guy’s dong was synonymous with his status, power, masculinity and sexual potency. Curiously, the ancient Greeks prized a puny pecker as the standard of male beauty. A big dick was an object of ridicule. Their mythology saddled the satyrs — woodland creatures with pointy satyrears, hairy legs, and short goat-like horns — with exaggerated cocks to symbolize their excess and lechery. Aristotle reasoned that a small penis was more fertile than a large one, because the semen didn’t have to travel as far and it didn’t cool as much while making its ejaculatory journey. Whatever, Aristotle!

The Hindus also cherished a tiny endowment. Men with the smallest phallus, 2-3 inches, were the beautiful ideal. They were characterized as lithe and strong. Prodigious packages of 9+ inches were compared to those of the beasts. And men who possessed them were considered worthless and lazy. Imagine trying to sell these concepts today.

Except for the Greeks and Hindus, everyone else idolized generous phallic dimensions. For example, so obsessed were the Arabs with the notion big dick superiority that the Turks of the Ottoman Empire took advantage of this mindset. It was the practice of the Turks to publicly compare the cock size of vanquished Arab leaders with the superior size cocks of their own Turkish commanders. This, in the end, effectively shattered Arab resistance.

shunga5fbooks5fpillow5fbooks5f5f77Japanese “pillow books,” an early form of Asian porn, always depicted the men with exaggerated cocks and this was always to the delight of the admiring women. In renaissance Europe it was fashionable for men to don a “codpiece,” a primitive jock strap sort of thing sewn inside a guy’s drawers. The design was obviously intended to emphasize his package. Men of modest endowment, of course, found it necessary to pad their codpiece or be the object of scorn.

Here’s a startling statistic — Dr. Barry McCarthy, author of “Male Sexual Awareness,” found that two out of three men believe their dick is smaller than average. Isn’t that astonishing? How is that possible? I suppose given this culturally induced big dick bias, it’s no wonder men, of almost every historical age and society, have been obsessed with disguising their shortcomings, or trying to develop a method to compensate for what they consider to be their woeful inadequacy?

Around two thousand years ago, men in several tribes in Africa popularized the practice of hanging a weight from their cock. Actually, many historians believe the practice harkens back to ancient Egypt. The pharaohs were known to stretch their cock and balls using weights to increase sexual pleasure. Lots of guys do this very thing today — mostly for pleasure enhancement, but there are always those who think this is an effective way to increase the size of their dick.SURMA SURI TRIBE - OMO ETHIOPIA

Hanging a weight from the end of your cock (and/or balls) will sure enough stretch the tissues that make up your shaft (and/or sack). It’s gravity at work. But this can be dangerous because this practice can diminish the circulation of oxygen-rich blood, which is essential for the upkeep of the smooth muscle tissue. And smooth muscle tissue makes up about 90% of your cock. And doggoneit, this technique simply robs Peter to pay Paul, so to speak. What lengthening might happen comes at the expense of your dick’s thickness. Just stands to reason, you have only so much cock to work with. If you pull on it; it may get longer, but it’ll also gonna get thinner.

A modern variation on the age-old stretching techniques is the traction method. A guy puts his cock in a kind of noose and either straps his wiener to his leg, or hooks it up to a traction contraption that looks way too much like a medieval torture device for my tastes. The claim here is that constant stretching, makes the cells in this area divide and multiply, thus increasing the tissue mass. There’s no arguing with the concept, people have been using this method of centuries as a means of adorning and customizing their bodies, particularly lips and ears. Consider the women of the Surma tribe in Ethiopia — they wear lip plates. Their lower lip is pierced when they are young girls and stretched with ever-larger plates over time. But what they gain in beauty, they loose in sensitivity. The same thing is true of a guy’s cock. What he may gain in size he will surely loose in sensitivity. And that’s not a good thing.

The Jelq or Milking technique is an ancient method of penis enlargement practiced in the Middle East. Traditionally it was taught father to son when the kid reached adolescence. Wealthy families sent their boys to a gym or health club where a highly trained attendant would perform the Jelq technique on the boy each day. As a result of these daily treatments the kid’s dick would develop to dimensions not otherwise attained without the method. Modern day advocates of this technique claim that milking also works on the fully developed adult penis, but I have my reservations.

The Jelq involves massaging the semi-erect cock in a rhythmic and regular manner, enhancing blood flow within the shaft. The claim is that after several months of this, one could see a size increase, both in girth and length. Long-time practitioners claim gains of several inches in length are possible, but one can only imagine how many hours that might take over the course of a year or longer. Effective jelqing demands an hour or more each day for exercises. I mean, who has that kind of free time on his hands? No wonder most men fail to complete their jelqing programs.

Old_penis_pumpPenis enlargement pills and patches proliferate on internet, but there is virtually no documented evidence that they work. All such products use herbal ingredients, like ginkgo biloba and yohimbe, which act as stimulants and vasodilators. The best one can say is that some pills may enhance blood flow, which may, in some cases, cause an ever so slightly bigger woody. Once a program like this is started, it needs to be continued for as long as you want the effect to last. Imagine how much that would cost; this stuff is expensive

Finally, the early 20th century brings the advent of modern technology to the “treatment” of impotence, or as we currently know it: erectile dysfunction. Please note, all the devices and surgical interventions of the last 100 years were initially designed to treat ED. Only later did folks begin to use these interventions as male enhancement schemes. Take the Austrian inventor Otto Ledever for example. He reasoned that if a stiffy was all about blood flow then maybe he could come up with a device that would draw blood into a cock creating an erection where there wasn’t one before. In 1917, our hero patented an airtight cylinder topped by a bulb that created a vacuum within the chamber. Insert a limp dick — pump, pump, pump and TADA! — An impressive erection resulted. There was a rub, however. When the vacuum was eliminated and the cylinder removed the “faux-erection” drained away nearly as quickly as it arrived. It was only a matter of time till our friend, Otto, discovered that ya gotta constrict the flow of blood back into the body once the guy’s peanut was engorged. And that, my friends was the birth of the cockring! Isn’t science amazing?

Good luck

Hey Dr Dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number?
Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

First Q&A Show of 2013 — Podcast #360 — 01/21/13


Hey sex fans,black tie

Alrighty then! It’s time for our first Q&A show for the New Year. I have a whole bunch of very interesting correspondents vying for their moment in the sunshine, so to speak. Each one is ready to share his or her sex and relationship concerns with us. And I will do my level best to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • John is horny as hell and wants to jack off with other guys. I turn him on to Bateworld.
  • Rocky is gettin’ pounded pretty hard, afterward he can’t pee.
  • Holly hasn’t had a date in 48 years. She’s having problems connecting with a good man.
  • Brian is lookin’ to zap his hole.
  • Conner thinks his BF is jerkin off too much.
  • Michael has crystal dick.
  • Lili describes, in great detail, her sex life with her hubby.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Perfect Fit Brand!

First Week of Autumn 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #347 — 09/24/12


Hey sex fans,

It’s time for another Q&A show. This time around, I have a really great bunch of correspondents who share their sex and relationship concerns with us. And I go out of my way to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • Joy is unhappy because her BF is into the meth and now their sex life is in the toilet.
  • AH said something really terrible to his GF while he was drunk, now he’s paying the price.
  • Then I riff on a handful of effective communication techniques.
  • Reba says her 6-year-old son is a nancy-boy. I put her straight and tell her to visit this site.
  • Jackson got himself a dose of the clap, and now he has to tell all his lady friends.
  • Tammy wants some help with greening her sex life.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Starting Over

Name: LD
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Location: Atlanta
How do you jump back into the game when your partner passed away suddenly? Getting really horny but its still awkward to actually do it.

Good question, LD. You say you’re feeling awkward. Why exactly? Is it because you’re out of practice with the whole dating thing? Are you concerned that people might think you’re jumping the gun, trying to get back into the game before your partner is cold in the grave? People can be pretty heartless about this. Or, is your awkwardness associated with your grief?

Grief has a profound effect on every aspect of our lives. Yet there is hardly any literature on the effects grief has on our sexuality. To my mind, grief is the leading causes of sexual dysfunction for those who have experienced the death of a partner.

Allow me a bit of time here for one of my pet spiels. Healing and helping professionals often misdiagnose grief. I want to make one thing clear, grief is not depression. Treating grief with an antidepressant is counterproductive. It can actually take away the impetus to resolve the grief and get on the rest of one’s life.

Making sure that you have processed your grief may eliminate some of your awkwardness you are currently experiencing. This is something I’m pretty familiar with. A good portion of my private practice is with sick, elder and dying people and their friends and family who survive them. I know the impact a terminal illness and dying process can have on the surviving spouse or partner. We often go into survival mode, shutting down so much of ourselves in an effort to have the strength to cope with this life-altering experience. Of course, trying to kick-start our life afterwards is often a monumental effort. Without the support and guidance of a professional or a group of similarly challenged people, some of us just sink to the lowest common denominator.

I believe in the resilience of the human spirit. I believe that we can honor our dead and continue to live and love. It sounds to me like you have a desire to get on with your life, LD, to fill the void, to make new connections, but you simply don’t know how. Acknowledging that fact is a real good place to begin.

Perhaps you could start by reawakening your sexuality through self-pleasuring. Reconnect with your body and the joy it can bring you. Reestablishing a social life will no doubt follow, slowly at first. But the inevitable tug of the need for human-to-human contact will draw you, if you let it. Remember the best testament to those who have died is to continue to celebrate life itself.

Allow me to draw your attention to my latest book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying; Enhancing The End Of Life. Actually it’s more of a workbook then a text and while its primarily target are those currently facing their mortality it’s not exclusively for them. Concerned family and friends, healing and helping professionals, lawyers, clergy, teachers, students, and those grieving a death will all benefit from participating in the interactive environment the book provides.

Of special interest to you will be Chapter 6, Don’t Stop. My good friend and colleague, Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene, joins me in presenting this chapter on sex and intimacy concerns. Like I said above, there is a dearth of information about this timely topic for sick, elder and dying people as well as those who are grieving. So I am delighted that my book helps break this deafening silence.

I hope you take the time to write back, LD. I’d very much like to keep tabs on how you are doing.

Good luck

The Last Day of April Q&A Show — Podcast #330 — 04/30/12


Hey sex fans,

I have a delectable Q&A show in store for you today to close out the month of April. We will be hearing a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome, each will surely amaze and entertain. There’s a distinct religious overtone to some of these questions and there’s also more than a hint of desperation. Oh how I feel their pain.

  • Brian calls in while he’s jerkin’ off.
  • Nick calls in to tell us about his massive ass toys.
  • Richie is troubled by what the Church told him about being gay.
  • Lyn has been around the block a time or ten, her new BF is a virgin.
  • Hamlet is so stressed out he can’t keep his hardon.
  • Éric is wasting his money trying to grow himself a bigger dick. I suggest that he take a look at this POSTING.
  • Dan isn’t even through puberty yet and he’s worried about the size of his willie. I suggest he take a look at this VIDEO.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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