How To Give Passionate Oral Sex

— A Guide For Men & Women

By Gia Ravazzotti

Let’s face it: It’s incredibly sexy to observe someone else experiencing sexual pleasure. When partners are truly tuned in to each other, oral sex can be just as arousing and pleasurable to give as it is to receive. But to get the most enjoyment from giving oral sex to another person, one needs to be exceptionally present during the act.

If you are giving your partner oral pleasure simply as a means to an end, then you probably won’t enjoy it as much. Getting into the mindset that you are pleasuring your partner for your own stimulation as well can be a real game-changer. These oral sex tips will teach you how to have passionate oral sex that’s mutually pleasurable:

1. Ask permission

First, always ask permission. You may be in the mood to pleasure your partner, but check in with them first. If your partner isn’t in the mood (and yes, some people don’t enjoy oral sex), then don’t be disappointed. Allowing a space in a relationship for either partner to say no without consequence removes many unnecessary barriers regarding sex. Knowing that you both have the freedom to take a rain check creates much more trust and intimacy in your sexual relating than if you react negatively to their “no.”

2. Use your eyes

Before you even start, look at your partner’s penis or vagina. I love it when clients tell me that they think their partner’s genitalia is beautiful! Have a real, proper look. Notice its contours, size, color, firmness, hairiness. Allow your eyes to take everything in. Does it make you want to smile and giggle? Does it make you more turned on? Whatever arises for you, embrace it. In honoring your partner’s parts with your eyes, you begin to realize the complexities of this amazing part of the body.

3. Use your hands

Slowly and gently begin to run your fingers over your partner’s genitalia. If your partner is a man, you might try gliding your fingers over the shaft, treating it like a delicate and treasured item. If your partner is a woman, you may begin by gently stroking her thighs and softly moving to the outer labia. Consider trying a tantric massage, whether a lingam massage for penises or a yoni massage for vulvas.

Again, using your sense of touch, soak it all in. Feel it in every possible way you can and notice every sensation beneath your fingertips. Stroke around the whole area: Include your partner’s belly and thighs here, too. Notice what is happening. Is your partner showing signs of pleasure through breath or movement? And importantly, what is it like for you to notice these things? Does it turn you on?

4. Use your breath

Changing our breath changes the way we experience things, in all areas of life, especially when it comes to sex (the tradition of tantric sex has long existed for a reason!). Before you begin going down on your partner, gently blow on and around their penis or vagina, and the surrounding pubic area. Start farther away, and slowly get closer and closer. Again, be present and mindful, not only to what is happening for your partner, but what is happening within yourself as well.

5. Use both your tongue and lips

Gently start to use your mouth on their penis or vagina. Remember that oral sex is all about using both your tongue and your lips. If you are willing to explore the idea of the expansive nature of oral pleasure, then dive in with all parts of your mouth!

But remember to work gently at first. Just a flick of the tongue or a chaste kiss in the beginning could intensify your partner’s sensations. And for your own benefit, remember to be present to taste, texture, smells, sensations. By now your partner is likely very aroused, and it is highly possible that you are, too. Once you have your mouth on your partner’s genitalia, just explore. Try different approaches such as varying pressure or speed of sucking or licking. Remain aware of their responses and use your intuition to keep the “conversation” ongoing.

6. Use your words

Speaking of conversations, let’s get to the difficult topic of communication during oral sex. So often people struggle to communicate about sex, particularly during sex. But how else will you know if your partner is happy with what is happening? So, in the same way you asked permission initially, now ask your partner if they are enjoying things. You can also ask if they might prefer something different or if there is any discomfort. Don’t be afraid to gauge your partner’s pleasure by asking, asking, asking. Most people are very happy to engage with a lover who is so attentive and considerate. And sometimes just a simple “Do you like that?” can be extremely arousing.

7. Use your brain…yes, your brain

Many people would believe that for oral to be good, it would have to have the inevitable “grand finale,” but this is not true. Oral sex can end in many different ways. You could move to intercourse or manual stimulation. If you really wanted to up the ante, you could stop before your partner’s climax and let them take a turn giving you oral stimulation. You could make a game of this, and see how many turns each of you can take before you explode. (Here’s our full guide to edging, if you want to learn more.) Or you could simply lie back and cuddle. Keep an open mind, and remember that sex is always different!

8. Be respectful

This is one of the most important pieces of advice to keep in mind. If your partner has a penis, ensure that you are fully comfortable with whatever arrangement you have with your partner regarding ejaculation before you start going down on them. If you need them to warn you if they are going to ejaculate so you can change your tactic, then tell them that. If you are comfortable for them to ejaculate in your mouth, tell them that too.

And regardless of the gender of your partner, keep in mind that your needs as the “giver” need to be taken into account. Respect is a two-way street, so make your needs known: No one is a mind-reader!

9. Don’t worry about orgasms

This myth that all sexual activity must end in climax often derails people. Expectations are set up, and then when they are not met, disappointment ensues. People can feel inadequate that they haven’t had an orgasm or feel as if they are not doing it right if their partner didn’t have an orgasm. If you remove all the hype around orgasm, you create an environment that facilitates relaxation and enjoyment. Sometimes it is good enough to just feel those amazing sensations without focusing on the goal!

10. Have fun

This goes for all sexual activity, but be creative. Loosen up. Light candles and set up a romantic bedroom environment if that works for you. Turn on some soft (or loud!) music if that gets you in the mood. There are no right answers. The key is remaining in the moment and allowing yourself to loosen up and have a great time. After all, that’s what pleasure is all about.

Complete Article HERE!

6 Oral Sex Positions to Boost Intimacy and Pleasure

Turns out, “34+35” is just one of the hottest oral sex positions out there.

By Maressa Brown

Hot vax summer is here — so what better time to get more creative as we get back to getting it on? Sure, the same old vanilla sex positions are a great fall-back, but we’d argue this sultry season is the perfect moment to switch up how you’re giving and receiving pleasure.

Not only can exploring different sex positions help you to connect with your sexuality, but experimenting with oral sex can also be very useful for people who want to engage in sexual activity but for whom penetrative sex is not an option, due to personal preference, pain, trauma, or other reasons, says Casey Tanner, a certified sex therapist and expert for LELO.

“A person’s genitalia, for many, is one of the most intimate and personal parts of the body,” adds Tanner. “Consenting to your partner’s face being up close and personal with your genitals can, for some, open up a line of communication and trust in your partner that breeds intimacy.”

Plus, because research shows that some 70% of people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, experimenting with different oral sex can increase the likelihood of discovering positions that make orgasm easier to achieve, explains Tanner.

Here, six expert-approved oral sex positions that’ll help you take advantage of all these steamy benefits.

1. 69

69, otherwise referred to as “34+35” by one Ariana Grande, is one of the most popular, classic oral sex positions for a reason. “This position, in which two partners perform oral sex on each other, often simultaneously, can be very fun and intimate,” says Tanner.

While the classic positioning involves one partner lying on their back while the other lies on top of them, there are many variations. One of the most popular: lying on your sides, facing one another, while performing oral sex. “A benefit of this variation is it allows you to look at your partner more easily,” says Tanner. She points out that finding the best version of this position for you and your partner will be an individual experience, as the body types and body sizes of each partner are unique.

It’s also easy to add toys — think dildos, wands, ticklers — to your 69 experience to switch things up, offering you a break from using your mouth, and boost pleasure.

Kristine D’Angelo, clinical sexologist and certified sex coach, adds more words of wisdom: “People either love or hate doing 69 because it’s a position that doesn’t allow for one receiver to really enjoy the experience without putting effort in themselves. So, my suggestion is to figure out which partner loves the vantage point of their partner’s butt in their face and which partner wants to offer that view to their partner.”

2. Edge of the Bed

While oral sex positions that involve both you and your partner lying down put you on an equal playing field, you might want to experiment with this position, in which one partner is standing while the other is lying down, creating a sexy new power dynamic.

“While there are many ways to involve standing, one way to get creative with oral is to have one partner lie on the edge of a bed — or any other stable surface — with their head positioned at the edge of the bed, face towards the ceiling,” explains Tanner.

Then, the other partner stands over their mouth, so they can perform oral sex on them. “One of the reasons this position is enjoyable for some partners is that it provides a different shape for the tongue, mouth and/or throat to be used in oral sex,” explains Tanner.

3. Kneeling 

Getting down on one knee — or both — isn’t just for proposing. And it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable crouching in front of your partner either. D’Angelo recommends that the receiving partner sit on the edge of the bed, sink, or a countertop, ideally on top of pillows or something else to cushion the surface, while the giver puts pillows down on the floor to pad their knees.

The giver can then wrap their hands around their partner’s hips as they give oral pleasure. “In this position, you can pull their hips toward your face,” says D’Angelo.

This position can be comfortable for both partners — and provide ample access to both the genitals and anal areas.

4. Standing Oral

In this position, either partner can stand, perhaps with their back up against a wall or counter, while the giver is on their knees in front of them. If you’re a vulva owner, you can stand with one leg up on your partner’s shoulder, creating space for them to pleasure you orally, advises D’Angelo.

The benefit: Being able to see your partner from this vantage point can be empowering for both parties — and offer a different sensation than when you’re lying down.

5. Face-Sitting

Another position that puts one partner in the “driver’s seat” of the experience involves “sitting” over your partner’s face. “It’s not exactly literal,” points out D’Angelo. “Your partner needs air, so it’s more of a light bouncing or grinding that happens on the face.”

Nonetheless, Tanner says that many partners enjoy face-sitting because of the power exchange and intensity of the position.

The flip side of that intensity is that you’ll want to be thoughtful when initiating face-sitting. “Like any sexual activity, the first and most important step in having a great sexual experience is getting enthusiastic consent from your partner,” notes Tanner. “If you and/or your partner are interested in face-sitting, which is the act of sitting on your partner’s face while they perform oral on you — or vice versa — sometimes fantasizing or imagining yourself in that position can help you determine if you want to try it.” 

Once you’ve made the decision to try it, talk it through with your partner. D’Angelo recommends tackling the following questions:

  • What will it feel like? 
  • How do you want me to position myself? 
  • When will I know you want me to stop? 

Tanner adds that it can be helpful to create a “safe gesture” — like a hand squeeze or three taps on the knee — to employ when one partner wants to stop.

6. Doggystyle

In this position, one partner gets on their hands and knees while the other partner performs oral from behind, explains Tanner.

This can be a helpful position for any giving partner who has jaw or neck pain since you can control the height of the receiving partner’s bottom half giving extended access, explains D’Angelo.

Tanner adds that doggystyle oral is a fantastic opportunity to stimulate the vulva as well as the perineum — the area of skin that connects the genitals (regardless of if the genitals are a penis, vulva, or otherwise) to the anus — and anus. “Not surprisingly, the perineum and anus can be quite pleasurable to stimulate because of the pelvic floor muscles and nerve endings that exist there,” she notes. “In fact, for people who have vulvas/vaginas, the perineum and anus contain the lower parts of the clitoral system!”

The first step to trying this with your partner: Start out with gentle touching or massaging of the area with fingers or mouths, advises Tanner.

The Bottom Line On Trying New Oral Sex Positions

When experimenting with new oral sex positions, it’s important to remember that every individual is different and responds to oral sex positions differently, notes Tanner. Ultimately, you’ll want to discuss your own and your partner’s likes, dislikes, and curiosities around oral sex — all of which can be valuable intel for determining the best position for you.

Complete Article HERE!

How to Deal If Your Partner Won’t Go Down On You

For starters, know that if your partner won’t go down on you or perform oral sex on you, it has to do with *them,* not you.

By AnnaMarie Houlis

Oral sex is like the cream cheese icing on a red velvet cake. For many, licking it off before indulging in the rest is irresistible. For others, the frosting can be overwhelming or unenjoyable.

Simply, oral sex, like cream cheese icing, isn’t for everyone. Oral sex can feel intensely intimate. And, for a whole host of reasons, your partner may have an aversion to it.

“When a partner won’t perform oral sex, it can feel like your sexual needs don’t matter, reinforcing negative beliefs about whether you deserve pleasure and orgasms,” says Sarah Melancon, a sociologist, clinical sexologist, and the sexuality and relationships expert for The Sex Toy Collective.

But rest assured that the reason why your partner won’t go down on you may actually have nothing to do with you and, rather, everything to do with them. Here, relationship therapists and sexperts alike talk about why your partner may skirt around mouth-motivated foreplay, how their negligence in the cunnilingus department may affect you and your relationship, and how to navigate the situation with your partner in a productive, healthy way.

5 Reasons Your Partner Isn’t Going Down On You

1. It likely has nothing to do with your body and everything to do with insecurities about their body.

It’s possible that your partner doesn’t want to go down on you because they’re anxious about receiving oral sex in return. Or because they’re just nervous about how their own body will react while giving pleasure — if they don’t get hard or wet in the act, it can feel embarrassing.

Society has instilled deep-seated shame in many of us surrounding our bodies and the ways in which we express sexuality. For too long, we’ve been predisposed to unfounded notions of “normal” — vaginas and penises should look this way, and they should function that way.

Folks often worry about the appearance of their vaginas and vulvas, according to a survey of more than 3,600 people by Refinery29. Too many people feel self-conscious about the way the lips of their labia look. Many others dwell on how tight or, rather, how “loose” their vaginas are. Too many concern themselves with the color of their vulvas, fret over every fold or hair or razor burn bump and worry about totally healthy, natural odors that don’t necessarily smell like flowers.

In the same vein, many men are reluctant to admit that they’re “growers” not “show-ers,” because society says only certain sizes are sexy. They’re expected to become erect and make those erections last, and they can feel emasculated when they inevitably sometimes don’t. Studies show that men Google more questions about their penises than they do about how to tune a guitar or change a tire.

And, ironically, when your partner won’t go down on you because they’re insecure about their own body, it can make you feel insecure, too.

“It’s not uncommon for women to start doubting their own bodies, feeling insecure about their intimate parts and thinking there is ‘something wrong with them,'” says Margarida Rafael, a licensed psychologist, and the resident relationship and sex expert at Adore Passion, a Canadian adult store. “This can contribute to lowered self-esteem that’s reflected in other areas of the relationship — the way women may seek validation from partners, feel insecure in their bodies during sex and, eventually, [repress their] sexual needs.”

2. Their past experiences may have colored their attitude toward oral sex.

Perhaps your partner had less-than-satisfactory experiences with previous partners that have caused them to steer clear of oral sex altogether.

“Your partner could be really self-conscious about going down on you — unsure if they are doing it ‘right’ or if you’re enjoying it,” says Alyssa Pressman, a licensed clinical therapist, and certified sex and relationship coach. “There can be a lot of pressure on sexual performance and prowess, which can leave people feeling scared to mess up and with little room to make mistakes. This could be especially true if your partner is a perfectionist or if they’ve had an experience in the past where they were ridiculed or told they were bad at it.”

Because of previous experiences, your partner may not feel confident initiating oral sex, adds Jill McDevitt, resident sexologist for sex toy retailer CalExotics. On the contrary, they may fear being slut-shamed for showing interest or being sexually assertive, perhaps because of negative reactions they’ve had when initiating oral sex in the past.

Your partner might also feel “used” or “subservient” if they’re always the giver and rarely on the receiving end of oral sex, adds McDevitt. While some people may find pleasure in giving pleasure — and that alone could suffice — others may feel uncomfortable with the lack of reciprocation they’ve historically experienced.

3. Oral sex may be a deeply entrenched trigger for your partner.

Your partner may also have had a more deeply-rooted traumatic experience with oral sex. Child sexual abuse affects one in nine girls and one in 53 boys, and those who have experienced sexual abuse are more likely to battle mental health challenges like post-traumatic stress disorder. Oral sex can, therefore, be triggering for some who have been sexually abused. In the same vein, McDevitt explains that some people could worry that, if they give oral sex, they’ll be expected to engage in other sex acts with which they aren’t comfortable.

The long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse are various and complex. Research suggests that survivors of child sexual abuse may struggle with distrust, depression, distorted self-perception, and intrusive thoughts that may or may not be accompanied by substance abuse and behavioral dysfunctions.

Some research purports that male survivors may feel “dehumanized or inadequate” and that “there is something inherently wrong with them” because they should have been “strong enough to stop the abuse,” which can feel emasculating. Other research finds that they may even grapple with their sexual identity well into their adult lives. And more research says they may withdraw from intimate partnerships and isolate themselves from others.

Studies suggest that female survivors of child sexual abuse may feel similarly riddled with guilt and shame surrounding their sexuality, and they may develop mental health issues, including dissociative disorders. Internalizing negative messaging about themselves and their bodies is not uncommon — nor is somatization in the form of physical health complications.

All of these mental and physical manifestations of trauma can influence a person’s partnered sex life (and general relationships) in adulthood, potentially steering them away from engaging in oral sex with others.

The same goes for all sexual assault — whether as a child, as a teenager, or as an adult. Perhaps an ex-partner of their’s broke their trust, forcing them to engage in oral sex without consent. In fact, 33 percent of sexual violence cases are committed by a current or former spouse or partner. Trauma from any kind of sexual abuse can play a key role in your partner’s aversion to oral sex. And, even if you feel like your partner can and should trust you, they may struggle to because of their past.

4. Your partner might be selfish or, yup, sexist.

It might be as simple as this: your partner is downright selfish. “They could also be a selfish person and/or lover, which is important to discern,” Pressman puts simply. “Often, what plays out in real life shows up in the bedroom and vice versa. If you are with someone who is regularly selfish and self-centered, this could translate to not being giving sexually.”

“There is a widely accepted (silent) message society passes that sex is about pleasing men — that sex ends when men orgasm, not women,” says Rafael. “Considering a man’s pleasure as a higher priority than a woman’s pleasure has been a long-standing issue throughout centuries of women’s sexual repression.”

And, because oral sex is the top sex act for getting vulva owners to orgasm, a partner’s reluctance to perform oral can certainly contribute to the pleasure gap. Again, this kind of potentially misogynistic or selfish behavior probably plays out in other aspects of your relationship and intimate moments beyond oral sex.

5. Maybe your partner just doesn’t enjoy giving oral sex. Period.

There might not be any underlying reason as to why your partner isn’t going down on you beyond the fact that they just don’t feel like it. Everyone has different sexual preferences, and some people just aren’t into it — and that has nothing to do with you.

To be fair, it’s also possible that some people aren’t into it because vaginas have been cloaked in shame and wrongly regarded as dirty in some aspects of pop culture. (Ugh.) These kinds of attitudes can unconsciously seep in and influence someone’s view of a particular sex act.

Or, it could be as simple as “a personal preference and something they just do not enjoy doing,” says Pressman. “Our sexual partners are not always going to want to do the things we sexually desire.”

Just like you have sexual turn-ons and turn-offs, your partner has turn-ons and turn-offs. Oral sex may not be one of their turn-ons, or it may be one of their turn-offs. Whether or not they’re willing to compromise for your pleasure is a different story.

How to Communicate About Your Desire for Oral Sex

“It goes without saying how imperative communication is, especially in a sexual relationship,” says McDevitt. “It’s normal for it to feel awkward or uncomfortable because none of us were really taught how to talk about these things. But lean into the awkwardness because avoiding it — or using passive or non-verbal hints and hoping your partner gets the clue — is only going to make things worse.”

In other words: If you don’t talk about it, it’ll probably bubble up inside you, which can lead to tension in your relationship. Plus, not having the conversation means definitely not having oral sex.

Just remember that conversation is a two-way street (i.e. listen): “If your partner opens up about why they don’t perform oral sex, listen with curiosity, give them space to complete their thoughts before responding, and try not to take their perspective personally,” says Melancon, emphasizing that you should never judge or shame your partner.

Instead of telling them what you don’t like (which may exacerbate any already-self-deprecating concerns or amplify their insecurities), practice positive reinforcement (i.e. expressing positive feelings when they do something you like), share your sexual desires, and approach them with questions instead of pointing fingers. (Writing it down ahead of time — perhaps in a sex journal — can help you gather your thoughts going into the conversation.)

“Offer praise and recognition of the things you love about your sex life, telling them how it makes you feel when they don’t go down on you and asking what their thoughts and feelings are,” says Pressman. You may choose to end the conversation with a loving and affirming statement, to make sure you both come away from the experience in a secure headspace, she says. For example: “I love being intimate with you, and talking about these things honestly makes me feel even closer to you.”

Your partner may not realize that their actions (or, rather, inactions) are making you feel insecure or dissatisfied. And reassuring them of how much pleasure you get from being intimate with them can go a long way in mitigating any of their own anxieties.

If it’s as simple as your partner just isn’t willing to go down on you, well, it’s up to you to decide whether or not you’re okay with not receiving oral sex in your relationship.

“It’s okay if it ultimately does not bother you, and it’s okay if this is a deal-breaker for you,” explains Pressman. “You get to decide.”

Complete Article HERE!

If You Want More Oral Sex, You’re Not Alone.

Here’s How To Ask For It

By Erika W. Smith

Whether you call it going down, giving a blowjob, eating out, or you’re fancy and use the terms cunnilingus and fellatio, you’re not alone if you love oral sex. One study found that 73% of cis men and 68.9% of cis women found receiving oral sex “very pleasurable,” and another 24.1% of cis men and 26.5% of cis women found it “somewhat pleasurable.” A lot of people also love giving oral sex. That same study found that 52.3% of men and 28.1% of women found it very pleasurable, with another 40.6% of men and 54.6% of women finding it somewhat pleasurable.

That said, as these numbers indicate, you’re also not alone if you don’t love oral sex — giving or receiving. Some people hate it. Others could take it or leave it. Some might prefer another kind of sex, whether that be manual stimulation, vaginal sex, anal sex, using a sex toy, or something else. If you don’t love receiving oral sex, that’s totally fine. There are plenty of other things to do in bed.

When it comes to oral sex, there is a gender and sexuality gap, according to research. While partners of any gender and sexuality can feel differently about the frequency they’d like to give and receive oral sex, various studies have indicated this discrepancy is most common for women dating men. That study about oral sex and pleasure we mentioned before? Well, it also found only 44% of women received oral sex from their partner in their last sexual encounter, compared to 63% of men.

Another study, this one from 2018, looked at differences in frequency of orgasm in straight, bisexual, lesbian, and gay men and women. The study found that out of everyone surveyed, straight women were having the fewest orgasms: 65% of straight women orgasmed almost every time they had sex, compared to 66% of bisexual women, 86% of lesbian women, 88% of bisexual men, 89% of gay men, and 95% of straight men. One major reason for this orgasm gap? Straight men were giving oral sex far less frequently than any other group.

Remember that viral story about DJ Khaled refusing to go down on his wife because, “It’s different rules for men. You gotta understand, we the king”? Well, unfortunately, it seems like DJ Khaled is not alone in this misguided belief.

But although women who date men are most likely to be in this situation, partners of any gender and sexuality can find that they have different desires when it comes to oral sex. The point is, everyone deserves to ask for exactly what they want. If you do love receiving oral sex, or you would like to try it, you should be able to talk to your partner about your desires. With that in mind, we put together some suggestions for how to start this conversation.

Make It Hot

Combining your suggestion with dirty talk is probably the most fun way to go about it. Tell your partner something like, “I keep fantasizing about you going down on me” or, “I can’t stop thinking about what it would feel like for you to eat me out.” Do whatever feels most natural to you. As Julia Bennett, the director of learning strategy at Planned Parenthood, previously told Refinery29, “There’s no right way to ask. There are lots of ways we can talk about sex.”

Be Direct

Because the sex scenes we see in porn and movies are so seamlessly (and wordlessly) choreographed, it’s easy to forget that it’s totally normal to make suggestions during sex. You can simply be direct. During sex, you could say something as simple as, “Would you go down on me?” If you’ve already given your partner oral during the encounter, you could even suggest, “My turn?” If your partner is into it, then great. If not, respect their boundaries and don’t pressure or push. Consent is mandatory, of course, and it only counts when it’s freely given.

How To Have A Bigger Conversation

Let’s say your partner isn’t as interested in oral as you are, or maybe they’re super into receiving but not giving, or maybe you just simply want to have this conversation well before things get hot and heavy — whatever the case may be, the discussion doesn’t have to be restricted to the bedroom. In fact, it’s really healthy for your sex life to be an ongoing discussion — one that takes place outside the bedroom, when you’re fully clothed. You might tell your partner, “I really love receiving oral sex. Would you be open to trying it?” You could also say something like, “It’s hard for me to orgasm without oral sex. How would you feel about going down on me more often?”

You don’t want to sound accusing here. As Rachel Needle, PsyD, previously told Refinery29, “Start off with something positive about your relationship, including your sexual relationship. Use feeling words and ‘I’ statements, [so you don’t put] your partner on the defensive.”

Try to go into this conversation with an open mind. If your partner has reservations about giving you oral sex, listen to what their concerns are. Have they experienced trauma around oral sex in the past? Learning where they’re coming from could might make you feel open to focusing on other sexual activities instead — maybe using a sex toy designed to mimic oral sex. Are they worried about STIs? You could suggest getting tested together and using a barrier method during oral. Are they nervous about getting it “wrong”? You can reassure them that you’ll let them know what feels good, and maybe tell them what you like before beginning.

So, You’ve Talked — Now What?

If you’ve talked about oral sex openly and honestly, and your partner still isn’t open to the idea, then what? Ultimately, you need to respect your partner’s boundaries. But — especially if this is part of a larger pattern of your partner neglecting your desires and needs — you might decide that you’d like to look for a partner you’re more sexually compatible with. Sex is an important part of a relationship, after all. Only you can decide what’s best for you

Complete Article HERE!

Your grandparents are probably having oral sex

A new study from Michigan State University suggests that older adults may be having more oral sex than you think.

by Korin Miller

It’s easy to assume that once people reach a certain age, their sex lives dwindle to nothing. But the findings of a new study might help turn that belief on its head.

The researchers analyzed data, specifically regarding oral sex, from 884 heterosexual couples between the ages of 62 and 90 who had previously participated in the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project. And they had some pretty interesting takeaways — including that 37 percent of the people reported having had oral sex in the past year.

The analysis, published in the Journals of Gerontology: Series B, also found that oral sex was linked to relationship quality. Specifically, older adults who reported having better relationship quality gave oral sex to their partner more often than those who rated their relationship quality as less positive. That link was stronger for men than for women.

Receiving oral sex seemed to influence how positively men and women felt about their relationships. Further, the more often a person gave oral sex to his or her partner, the more often the partner reciprocated.

“Stereotypes exist that most older people are sexually inactive or asexual, and that sex is not important for older people,” lead study author Hui Liu, a professor of sociology at Michigan State University, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “However, emerging evidence has shown that sexuality remains an important part of life and is key to the quality of life and well-being for many older adults.” Liu explains that she wanted to research the topic because “sexuality in later life is an underexplored research area

Sex in general may bring couples closer together, she adds, but “oral sex may play a special role for older couples because many older adults suffer sexual dysfunction problems (which makes penile-vaginal sex challenging for them), but they still want to be sexually intimate and remain close to their partners in old age. And, as the findings suggest, she says, oral sex may be “an alternate way to maintain an active sexual life, a high-quality relationship, and psychological vibrancy

The study also found that men seemed to get more relationship satisfaction from giving, rather than receiving, oral sex. And that’s not surprising to David Ley, a clinical psychologist who specializes in sexuality issues. “A consistent finding in sexual research is that men gain a sense of masculinity, satisfaction, and pride from being able to give their female partner an orgasm and sexual pleasure,” he tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “I suspect this foundation may underlie these results, as a man who cares more about his partner, their relationship, and her pleasure is more likely to be willing to perform oral sex, focusing on her own needs. In other words, it’s easier to be sexually selfless when you feel good about your relationship and partner.”

Still, Ley assures, older couples who don’t practice oral sex shouldn’t worry that it will affect their relationship satisfaction. “Remember that 63 percent of these elderly couples aren’t having oral sex,” he says. “Couples with higher levels of sexual dysfunction, including erectile issues or problems with vaginal lubrication, were more likely to practice oral sex. So not having oral sex might just mean that intercourse is working just fine.”

Complete Article HERE!

Better Oral Skills For All

Name: Glenda
Gender: Female
Age: 57
Location: Midwest
My husband and I have been together for 23 years and have a great sex life. I love giving him blowjobs and he says he enjoys it too, but he never has an orgasm from the BJs. He says that the head of his penis (circumcised) is just not very sensitive. Is this common and is there anything we can do to increase the sensitivity? Thanks for your help.

Hey Glenda! Your concern about your husband not gettin’ off on your blowjobs is a familiar complaint. Lots of men can’t get off that way. And I don’t think it has much to do with his desensitized dickhead.

If you are confident that you are an expert cocksucker and you know all the tricks of getting your man off with your mouth, fine! However, if you need to brush up on your technique there are lots of resources out there. First, check out my handy-dandy tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class CocHeads Upksucker …Or How To Give The Perfect Blow Job.

Want some visuals with your tutorial? I got that covered too. Take a look at The Dr Dick How To Video Library for the help you need. Look for the Video Library tab in the header.

One such video is Heads Up: The Official Guide To Fellatio from my friend and colleague, Dr Carol Queen’s Pleasure Ed series. Also look for Tristan Taormino’s video tutorial for orally pleasuring you man titled, Expert Guide To Oral Sex 2: Fellatio. Don’t forget Dr Michael Perry‘s How to Give A World-Class Blowjob.  His whole series of educational videos is great. There’s even a video called: Pinky’s Dick Sucking For Dumb Asses.

If you want to know my secret to gettin your man off with your mouth, try diddlin’ his prostate with your finger while you blow him. Or kick it up a notch and use a slim-jim vibrator in his bum to get his juices flowin’.

Good luck

Men’s Toy Hub Blowjob Machine

Learnin’ to Smoke Some Pole

Name: Janet
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Location: Reno, Nevada
I’ve never performed oral sex on a man before and now I am with a new man and he sometimes hints that he would like me to go down on him. But I’m scared to do so because I don’t really know what to do or if I’ll be doing it right and I’m scared that he might laugh or something. Can you please give me some advice for a first timer on oral sex??

blowjobJanet, darling, you are totally in luck. Ol’ Dr Dick has squandered many an hour composing witty postings and charming podcasts on this very topic. Check it out. Look over to your right. See the CATEGORY pull down menu? Good! Now scroll down till you find the main Category — Oral. (Everything is alphabetized.) Under this main heading you will discover “Blow Job” and “Fellatio.” There are also a number of other fun and informative topics there, like gag reflex and cunnilingus. Speaking of which, I hope this new man of yours is gonna return the oral favor once he gets his hummer. Don’t settle for less. If he wants some hot oral action, he better be able give some hot oral action. It’s only right, right?

So as you can see, there’s loads (you should pardon the pun) of good stuff, written and spoken, about the wonderful world of oral sex. Click on any of the Oral subcategories to find just about every word I’ve written about this scrumptious topic.

Or you can simply cut to the chase and read my Sexual Enrichment Tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class Cocksucker.

Either way, you’ll be smokin’ yourself some fine pole, like a real champion, in no time at all.

Good luck

The Suppressing Gag Reflex — A Tutorial

Arguably, the humble blowjob is the most common partnered sexual activity for men — straight, bi or gay.

It’s pretty obvious why the gays like to suck cock. But nowadays loads of straight women have taken to smokin’ some pole too. Let’s face it; it’s a great way to give pleasure. Regardless of whether it’s part of foreplay, after play, or the main event — like relieving the Commander in Chief in the oval office after a long day of commandering and chiefing, don’t cha know.

funny_sign_fail_14

Certain skills are essential for mind-blowing oral sex. The preeminent skill, of course, is mastering the gag reflex. But close behind that is keeping your partner’s spooge off your blue dress.

Did you know that the gag response is least active in the morning? That’s right, my pretties, you’re gonna have to know things like this if you aspire to getting a gold medal in cock sucking. Besides, tidbits like this also make for the most charming dinner party trivia.

Today we’re gonna look at three important aspects of understanding and suppressing that nasty gag reflex when chowin’ down on some love muscle.

1) ANATOMY

So let’s take a semi-serious look at the gag response and why we have it. Millions of years of evolution have Epiglottisprovided us the anatomical function we call the gag reflex to protect our throat. And as all you rocket scientists know an obstruction in your throat — in either your larynx, which connects to your lungs or the pharynx, which connects to your stomach could be deadly. And since us humans breathe more often than we swallow, the larynx is always open. We all have a piece of cartilage known as the epiglottis at the back of our throat that responds to swallowing. This is not to be confused with the uvula, which is that little thingy that hangs down from the back of your mouth.

Isn’t this fascinating? Aren’t you delighted you stopped by today? Hold on, there’s more!

The passageway to the stomach is fairly narrow, although you’d never guess that from the way some folks wolf down their food. The gag reflex protects us from getting something stuck in there. If the object being swallowed — a big old cock or a piece of cold pizza — can’t easily pass the opening of the pharynx, the epiglottis flaps triggering the gag response. This forces the foreign object — big old cock or cold pizza — out. This is a lifesaving reflex because it protects us from literally biting off more than he can swallow. And since there’s not gonna be a whole lot of biting off and chewing when we blow some dude, the gag reflex can be pretty pronounced.

bjbw.jpgThe object of this tutorial is to help us subdue this lifesaving reflex when needed. The first thing we should know is when suckin’ cock, the dick in question can’t get stuck in our pharynx because, happily it’s attached to the dude we’re blowin’. It can, therefore, be removed without the coughing and choking associated with the garden variety of gagging.

Let’s review, shall we? Your tongue, your salivary glands, your hard palate, your soft palate, your uvula, your epiglottis, your tonsils, and your pharynx are all parts of the sensory experience for you as well as your partner with his dick in your mouth. When you deep throat his johnson, your uvula and the epiglottis tickle his dickhead. I guess that’s why us mens like getting’ head so much.

Like anything worth doing, mastering the gag reflex takes practice. The most important thing to remember is that we cannot simultaneously inhale and swallow. Also the epiglottis is very flexible, while the pharynx is relatively rigid.

Let’s do some math. The depth of our mouth — from the lips to the curve in the pharynx just in the back of the throat is three of four to inches. The pharynx runs another five and half inches or so before the esophagus begins, which continues another eight or nine inches. That makes for total passageway available for swallowing cock between seventeen and nineteen inches long. How’s that for adaptability? Your throat is not just for sword-swallowing any more! As long as your partner’s prick is neither too wide nor too stiff to make the turn in the pharynx, an average cocksucker can completely swallow just about anyone for a short period of time while holding his or her breath.

2) POSITION

deepthroat-humor-pictureProbably you’ve already guessed that positioning the cock your sucking at just the right angle down your throat is crucial. Check it out. Take a deep breath; insert two fingers as far as possible into your mouth. Your fingers will bend easily downward. While you’re rootin’ around inside there, you’ll immediately have a sense of internal capacity of your oral cavity. Carefully placing a couple fingers at the back of your mouth shouldn’t cause you to gag, but moving them around might. This will underscore the importance of having the willie you’re about to swallow go in the right direction.

So let’s say you’re on your knees, with the intended cock right in front of you. If it’s rock-hard and/or curved upward, as some of those darling things are, that dick is gonna go pounding against your tonsils, making you gag, sure as shootin’. The dude’s cock has to go in and then down your throat, not up and against the roof of your mouth. Got it? Jamming his member against your hard palate will also be pretty unpleasant for the owner of the said cock. This could easily give his dickhead a real owie!

This brings us to the ever-popular sixty-nine position. It’s so popular because it points the dude’s rod toward the base of your tongue, thereby successfully navigating of the curve in your throat.

3) BREATHING

bananaA proper breathing technique is as important as position to happy deep throating. The aquatic minded among us already have the key. Swimmers know that synchronizing one’s breathing with the motion one is making with his or her arms and legs makes for less effort and more stamina. The same is true for the person gulping a big one…or even a small one for that matter. You’ll want to inhale while doing down on his cock, exhale quickly while coming up, then inhale again going back down. The deeper you inhale on the down stroke, the longer you’ll be able to hold your breath. And PRESTO! The longer you’re able to hold your breath the deeper your partner’s baloney pony will disappear down your gullet. So you see, it’s exactly like swimming, only completely different.

For the non-athletes in my audience there is another way to learn to control the gag reflex. Simply practice holding your breath and swallowing at the same time.

We could all learn a lot from the little piggie cocksucker among us. They’re in this whole blowjob thing for the long haul, and they know that pacing one’s self is crucial. They know how important it is to pull off the cock from time to time, at least far enough to take in some air before going down on it again. If you try this you could make some yummy sounds while you pull off his cock. Or you could take it out of your mouth and look at it admiringly. He’ll be impressed that you like his rigid piece of art, and only you’ll know that what you’re actually doing is simply catching your breath.

You should know that deep throating a pleasure prong is gonna make a lot of saliva. This is a double-edged deep_throat_640_03sword. Great for keeping things lubed up, but problematic if that abundant saliva falls into the larynx and makes you cough and choke. If your saliva becomes a problem rather than an asset try relaxing for a bit with his cock in the forward of your mouth so that your larynx will open for breathing. This shallow sucking is a delightful counterpoint to deep throat sucking. You can also practice relaxing and stretching the muscles that regulate swallowing by opening your mouth wide, like in a yawn.

Whichever technique or combination of techniques works for you, remember to breathe. Accumulation of mucous will sometimes mean you have to take a break to spit. If you try to continue without spitting, it will just make your uncomfortable. And who need that?

Also when you deep throat your nose will run and your eyes will water. So if you’re wearing a lot of makeup when you’re blowin’ your guy, you’ll look like a raccoon with a clown face by the time you’re through. Some guys really like this. It suggests to them that they have a really big dick to have wreaked so much havoc.

blowjob-funny-humor-illustration-lol-quote-Favim.com-39125You’ll probably want to keep at least one of your hands on his pole while you’re sucking it. This will give you more control, especially when he starts pelvic thrusting.

It is a good idea to keep a hand on his balls too, as they are usually a good indicator of how close your man is to cuming. As he gets closer to shooting, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his balls towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his jewels with your hand, tongue, or mouth.

Finally, common mistake most women and some men make while blowin their guy is using only their mouth to repeatedly bob up and down his weener. This is neither pretty or particularly helpful! Some folks continue doing this until they get a sore jaw or neck. A good deep-throatin’ blowjob should not be too repetitive. The wise cocksucker will keep her/his hands busy throughout. She’ll include stroking his dick, exploring balls, thighs and asshole. By mixing things up, he’ll allow his mouth and throat muscles to relax. This will improve one’s performance and will subdue one’s gag reflex.

Good Lick…I mean Luck…ya’ll.

A Sizzlin Firecracker Of A Q&A Show — Podcast #216 — 07/05/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I know it’s a holiday weekend here in Americanskiville, and I know I should be hanging out at the pool or barbeque instead of slingin’ my tits over this hot microphone, but I can’t help it. I gotta catch up on all the questions that have been piling up since our last Q&A session back in May. And there’s a shit-load of ‘em don’t cha know.

We hear from:

  • Mike says it takes him too long to get off.
  • Tomas is terrified he might be gay.
  • Astrit has questions about anal douching.
  • Connor has a overly sensitive dickhead.
  • Sharon is very suspicious about FSD, or female sexual dysfunction.
  • Glenda loves giving her husband blowjobs, but he doesn’t cum that way.
  • Angelo is a crossdresser and his wife pegs him in the ass.
  • Bill doesn’t like the advice I give some women.
  • Paul might be a teensy bit queer.
  • Josh has a BF that doesn’t like his foreskin.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #149 — 08/31/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I guess everyone is enjoying The Erotic Mind
series as much as me.  So yeah for that!  women_bath Apparently you love to listen to my chats with these brilliant artists and authors as much as I enjoy interviewing them.  But while I’m busy doing that, my in-box and voicemail gets clogged with messages from the sexually worrisome looking for advice.  And ya know what?  They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you.  Today’s show is all Q&A.

So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

  • Giggles says she’s gettin off on Joy.
  • Anonymous wants to learn how to blow himself.
  • Celia thinks her clit is too little.
  • Deborah wants the low-down on open relationships!
  • Then there’s a whole bunch of quickies.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all of my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #126 — 06/01/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

From the looks of things, everyone is enjoying The Erotic Mind series as much as me.  I lovebw_feet11 spending my Mondays chatting with these brilliant artists and authors.  But while I’m busy doing that, my in-box and voicemail gets clogged with messages from the sexually worrisome looking for advice.  And ya know what?  They’ve come to the right palace; and so have you.  Today’s show is all Q&A.

So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

  • Jim is a cuckold.  Just relax and enjoy the torture, you pervert!
  • Lost Boy doesn’t know love from a hole in his head.
  • David and his lovely wife want to try a 3-way.
  • Woody wants some hot backdoor action with his wife, but there’s a problem!
  • Then there’s a whole bunch of quickies.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all of my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

To Have and To Hold

Hey sex fans,

I am so glad we finally got the new Review Site rockin’ n rollin’, because the Dr Dick Review Crew has been itchin’ to update you on a whole bunch of new products.

Have you visited Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews yet?  If not, what the hell are you waiting for?  It’s so cool; easy to navigate, easy to search and each product has it’s own review.  You can even search for all the reviews done by your favorite Review Crew member.  CHECK IT OUT!

This week’s Review Crew include: Jada and Jack & Karen.

Jada is here with a Jelique product.
Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm $10.95

Jada: “I love this new site, Dr Dick’s Set Toy Reviews; I’m so proud to be part of this effort.

I would like to introduce you to an interesting product — Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm. It’s a creamy lotion one applies to one’s genitals, or the genitals of a partner to flavor them up and make them tingle.

I should say from the outset that I would have never considered using this product had I seen it in the store. I would have simply passed it by. You see, I like the way I taste and smell when I am aroused.

I used Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm first by myself. It has an intense butter cream scent. It has a pleasant enough taste with a hint of mint. I licked some off my finger first before I put some around my labia. The hint of mint comes from the menthol in the ingredients. This, I assume, is also what adds the tingling effect.

It tastes like icing on a cake. It’s sweet to the tongue, but it also has a bit of a chemical aftertaste. Maybe that’s the mineral oil base; I don’t know. What I do know for sure is that, because of the mineral oil base, this product is not compatible with latex condoms. But I believe that Tasty Twist Oral-Sex Balm is geared toward masturbation and oral sex.

Full Review HERE!

Jack & Karen are here with another Jelique product.

Tooshies $8.95

Karen: “I’m a new-cumer to anal. Sometimes it takes me a while to warm up to this particular activity.”
Jack: “I love her for trying anal. She did it just to please me.”
Karen: “Well, that and it feels great once I get over the first hurtle.”
Jack: “We were lucky enough to score
Tooshies to review. It’s a minty flavored Benzocaine based numbing gel formulated to ease the initial discomfort of anal sex.”

Karen: “We’ve been looking around for such a product, but didn’t know which one to choose. Or if such gels and or lube worked.”
Jack: “
Tooshies works!”
Karen: “It does; that’s for sure. It’s just the thing I need to boost my confidence and to desensitize my rectum. I just have to say, Benzocaine is not for everyone. It’s pretty common for some people to have an allergic reaction to it. I suggest you try a little dab on the inside of your elbow first to see if you have a reaction or not. The inside of your elbow is not the same thing as the mucus membranes in you rectum, but you’ll have a better sense of things nonetheless.”

Full Review HERE!

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Time after time

Name: Frasier
Gender:
Age: 63
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now.  But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock.  Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock.  This never crossed my mind before she died.  Can you help me understand this?

Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight.  You’ve been a widower for 9 years.  However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock.  Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that.  But I am unclear about one thing.  Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not?  Not that this is particularly important, just wondering.  So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before.  Is this correct?

Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question.  Wait, maybe there is no bjbw.jpgquestion?  Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock.  I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh?  Not to worry, it may simply be situational.  You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right?  I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson.  Ok, then what?  Well, basically nothing.  If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy.  No harm done.  You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob.  You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching.  Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.

But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it.  Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it?  Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual.  How fun for you!

There is of course another explanation.  Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is.  They do it to be submissive.  Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!

I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons.  Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking.  But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.

Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste.  In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me.  Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin.  I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful.  Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.

Name: Joey
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: Southern Calif
Love doing tina with masturbation and watching really hot porn. Think this is just social fun?

Nope, I don’t Joey.  Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”.  If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.

Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some crystalmakesmesexy.jpgdrugs recreationally.  But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural.  The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.

Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.

Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.

When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:

  • Pupils dilate to let in more light.
  • Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).
  • Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.
  • Body temperature goes up

Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters.  Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.

Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?

Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels.  Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm.  And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.

Joey, listen up!  You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself.  If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there.  Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at:  crystalmeth.org.  You’ll be glad you did.

Name: Shelly
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20.  We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love.  But we have a problem.  I’m pro-choice and he isn’t.  He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that.  It’s my choice because it’s my body.  But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.

Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

Where do you go from here?  Simply put?  Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to.  This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick.  That’s never a good thing.  It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship.  Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again.  I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are.  But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual unplanned_pregnancy.jpgultimatums.  EVER.

There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too.  You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time.  Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.

WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life?  Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception.  And you both should practice at least one foolproof method.  If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking.  Get it?

Here’s the deal.  I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy.  And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it.  But wait!  What if the BF is opposed to contraception?  It sure sounds to me like he might.  Well then you really are shit out of luck.  No fucking for you till you’re married.  No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married.  Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.

Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking.  But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh?  So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.

Good luck ya’ll

Lookin’ for a good time?

Check out Dr Dick’s How To Video Library.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #90 — 12/01/08

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a whopper of a show for you today. We return to our usual question and answer format this week, because I have a steamy load of stimulating questions from all overt the freakin’ place. And I respond with an equal number of cheeky, charming and oh so enlightening responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Joe wants to know about Hepatitis-B and cock sucking.
  • Donna and her BF wanna start bumpin’ parts.  But where to begin?
  • Gregg thinks he needs a sex coach.  I think he does too.
  • Naf wants to top, but he is a little short of wood!
  • Anonymous wants some tips on ball stretching.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe.  I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: ROPEX.

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Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #06 — 03/19/07

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

This week we have a slew of written submissions —

  • Roxy is a cock in a frock and his marriage is on the rock-s!
  • Young Pete is queer, and his yahoo family hates fags.
  • Gwen is over the hump, but still wants to hump.

And finally A Sexual Enrichment Tutorial

  • Suppressing the Gag Reflex!

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the toll free voicemail number is (866) 422-5680.

Dr Dick is now on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section under the heading — Health, subheading — Sexuality. Or search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is brought to you by: Daddy Oohhh! Productions, Quality Adult Entertainment, Enrichment and Educataion

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