Category Archives: Masturbation

Class (GLASS) Act

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Hey sex fans,

Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you.  Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan:  Simply Blown.  They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?

Each one of the toys we have is unique.  They are individually crafted and are museum quality.  Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge.  What could be finer?

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.

This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.

Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself.”
Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.”
Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?”
Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!”
Gina: “There, I told you.”
Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the
Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.”
Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.”
Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!”
Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.”product_1
Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.”
Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.”
Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The
Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ”
Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!”
Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.”
Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.”
Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.”
Gina: “I stand corrected.”
Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.”
Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.”
Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?”
Gina: “Sheesh!”
Kevin: “On our next date with the
Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”

Full Review HERE!

Two Lovelies from LELO

This is Part 2 of our LELO reviews.  Somehow missed Part 1?  Not to worry; find it HERE!

Dr Dick Review Crew members — Denise and Hank & Glenn do the honors.

Denise is up first with IRIS.
IRIS by LELO $129.00

Denise

I’m in love with LELO! I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.

I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object. Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects. I say; “a rose by any other name…”

I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products. But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case. LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special. I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality. Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?

IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink. Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line. They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors. I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color. And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.

IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that! A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power. Mmmm! And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately. Extra points for that!

(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys. Whenever possible I choose rechargeable. When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries. To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)

The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape. Very appealing! I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me. And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.

Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own. That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip. Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off. The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me. I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.

You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys. Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this. Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS. Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.

The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes. However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers. This can be pretty frustrating.”

Full review HERE!

Next, Glenn & Hank show us BO

LELO BO $79.00

Glenn & Hank

Hank: “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!”
Glenn: “Pretty damned expensive too.”
Hank: “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own. That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.”
Glenn: “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like
BO does. And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!”
Hank: “LELO calls
BO a gentleman’s pleasure object. I call it a vibrating cockring. I mean, please!”
Glenn: “Ya got no class, Hank! I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.”
Hank: “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the
BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.”
Glenn: “True! I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’”
Hank: “You are such a freak!”
Glenn: “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.”
Hank: “Let’s get back to the review, shall we?
BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment. The ring is made of a soft, flexible material. The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE). Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products? It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material. Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe. There is no on/off switch.”
Glenn: “I thought that part was odd. Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me. Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring. So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.”
Hank: “I tried
BO first in a little solo JO session. I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick. Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO. That was pretty mind blowing.”
Glenn: “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman! And I have no gag reflex!”

Full review HERE!


ENJOY!

May is National Masturbation Month!

It’s that time of year again!

It’s National Masturbation Month!

YES darling, there is such a thing!

Tra la! It’s May!masturbate-a-thon-2009-mens-bar-poster
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev’ryone throws
Self-control away.
It’s time to do
A wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you’ll always rue!
It’s May! It’s May!
The month of “yes you may,”
The time for ev’ry frivolous whim,
Proper or “im.”
It’s wild! It’s gay!
A blot in ev’ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast
Amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May.
— Alan Jay Lerner

Let’s all MASTURBATE!

2009 Masturbate-a-thon

——  PARTICIPATE LIVE  IN EITHER——

San Francisco or Portland

Or just play with yourself right where you are!

masturbation001 spooge

jackoff jilloff

as if jerkin’ and jillin’ off aren’t funny enough

Fleshlight Sex Toy

Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen…and Gentlewomen

Look for my new

Product Reviews!

REVIEW #28

Hey sex fans,

It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza.  Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza?  Shame on you!  Check out Reviews #25, 26 and 27.  You’ll be so glad ya did.

The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out.  Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!

This week’s Review Crew include:

  • Jack & Karen — Reviews #17, 18, 25, 27
  • Joy & Dixie— Reviews #6, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 27
  • Glenn & Hank — Reviews #4, 16, 17, 18, 23. 24, 27
  • Gina & Kevin — Reviews #4, 13, 16, 17, 18, 23, 24, 27
  • Ken & Denise — Reviews #11, 16, 25
  • Jada — Reviews #14, 16, 20

First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos.  I’m a big fan of Hans’.  He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist.  He really knows his wood and his woodies!  We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs.  When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.

Apple Wood Dildo $99

Ken:  “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great 433a.jpgwooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza.  I lucked out!  Denise and I have a real beauty.”
Denise:  “That is so true.  Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.”
Ken:  “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own.  I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.”
Denise:  “I stand corrected.  Maybe I need to be punished.  😉
Ken:  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?  Just you wait till we get home, young lady!”
Denise:  “Ohhh, Daddy!”
Ken:  “We seem to be veering off topic.  Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo.  It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry.  Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”

Read more of this review here

Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Teaze Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Teaze!

I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99

Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Teaze. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Teaze Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.”irubmyduckie.jpg
Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.”
Gina: “Bondage
Duckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.”
Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of
Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”

Read more of this review here

I Rub My Wormie Pink Travel Size $22.99

Kevin:  “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one.  That makes is a bit irubmywormie.jpgsmaller than the regular size.  It make an excellent butt plug.”
Gina:  “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot.  It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.”
Kevin:  “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!!  Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.”
Gina:  “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with.  Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy.  If they only knew.

Read more of this review here

Now Jada gives us the finger, as it were. This is a clever first offering from a new Canadian company — Fun To Have.

Fun Finger $20.00

Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d funfinger-016.jpgfind on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.

I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.

Read more of this review here

Our favorite perv Review Crew members — Joy & Dixie and Glenn & Hank tackle some very interesting devices from Rachel’s Pleasures.

G–Spotter $16.20

G–Spotter $16.20

Joy & Dixiejp440.jpg

Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews by searching for the word ‘Sportsheets’.”
Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.”
Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.”
Joy: “Basically, the
G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.”

Read more of this review here

Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit $22.50

Glenn & Hank introduce us to the Cumfy Cuffs And Cumfy Cuffs Extensions Kit .jp125.jpg

Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!”
Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup”
Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.”
Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?”
Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” 😉
Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself.
Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”

Read more of this review here

Neoprene Harness $24.30

Joy & Dixie introduce us to the Neoprene Harness.

Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.”
Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.”jp229.jpg
Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.”
Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.”
Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.”
Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”

Read more of this review here

Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs) $64.53

Glenn & Hank introduce us to Rachel’s Rachel’s Bed Spread (w/cuffs).

Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling jp514_d.jpgand walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.”
Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.”
Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.”
Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed
Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.”
Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”

Read more of this review here

So there ya have it, Sex Fans.  We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas.  Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.