It’s Product Review Friday; it’s Week 5 of our Holiday Gift Giving Guide; and we’re doin a special Toys for Boys thing today. Next Friday, our last installment of in this series, will feature some swell Toys for Gals.
This week we will hear from Review Crew members: Carlos, Ken and your truly, Dr Dick.
All guys jerk off; even (or especially) guys who say they don’t jerk off, jerk off. Now that we’ve put that behind us we can get on with today toy selection, because it has a theme — masturbation sleeves.
First up is another product from the good folks at Vibratex and Carlos has the lowdown.
Carlos
I love to masturbate; I’ve been doing it since I was 11. I love to masturbate with my wife; I like to masturbate with other men. It’s about as safe a sex as you can have short of having no sex at all.
I’m pretty much a manual masturbator. I never saw the need to improve on my hands for pleasuring myself. But the thing about being a Review Crew member, we get exposed to all kinds of products we wouldn’t otherwise know about. Take for instance the Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve. I would have never guessed that I could enjoy masturbating even more than I used to by using a masturbation aid, like a sleeve.
The Sidekick Tease Me Sleeve is a simple enough product. It’s made of 100% Elastomer, which allows me to use any type of lube you want to. I’m partial to silicone lube, because it doesn’t break down like water-based lubes do during a long masturbation sessions. And since I don’t have to worry about using a condom when I’m having sex with myself, silicone-based lube works best for me.
When you see the Sidekick in its package you’re actually seeing the inside of the thing. It’s turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it. Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.
The hole you insert you penis in is a decent size, so you don’t have to struggle inserting it. And since you’ll be adjusting the pressure around your penis with your hand, it’s pretty perfect. So I lubed up and slipped the Sidekick over the head of my penis. I’m uncut, so slipping it on also retracted my foreskin. Honestly, I was really surprised by the feel of the nubs on my penis, particularly the head. It was so strange to have that kind of sensation on my cock. But once I got used to the sensation, I was thinking; man, this is great.
The other end of the Sidekick is closed. That means as you stroke this up and down your penis you actually create a bit of a vacuum, which is also very nice. Besides the up and down movement you can also rotate the Sidekick around your penis. This creates a completely unique sensation, which almost tickles. I loved it!
There are two minor drawbacks, if you can call them that. Once the Sidekick is turned right-side out (the nubs are now on the inside where they belong) the outside has no texture at all. This creates a bit of a problem with lubed up hands. I found that it was sometimes difficult to get a good grip on the thing. The other issue is the size. It’s only 5.5” long. Now that will fit most of us, but if your bigger than that, this might be a bit of a problem.
You can cum right in the Sidekick, because it so easy to clean. Turn it inside out again, wash in warm soapy water and let it dry. I found that once it dried; it felt a little sticky. So I just dusted it with little bit of cornstarch. FULL REVIEW HERE
Ken
Here’s the way I look at it; if god wanted us to jack off he would have given us arms long enough to reach our meat. Oh wait, he did! What luck for us!
I generally jerk off a couple of times a day. This amazes my partner, Denise. She thinks I’m some kind of sex freak, but I don’t know. I beat off much less now than I did when I was a kid. Back then, in my teens, I could and would squeeze one off five or six times a day.
Until this assignment as part of the Review Crew, I had never used a masturbation sleeve. Sure, I’ve seen them around, but I thought to myself; why bother? Ok, I’ll admit to being more than a little curious, so I jumped at the opportunity to review the Cyberskin Pocket Pussy by Topco.
This is my first Cyberskin toy of any kind. This stuff rocks! It’s amazingly soft and warm; there’s a silkiness to it too. They claim that it feels like real human flesh, I wouldn’t go that far, but it is truly remarkable.
The Cyberskin Pocket Pussy is designed to look like a real pussy and it’s very realistic looking, let me tell you. This may be a turn-off to some, especially gay dudes. But other guys are gonna groove on this big time.
When I took it out of the package it had a greasy feel to it that kinda surprised me. I guess whatever they put on it, some kind of preservative or something, keeps it from drying out while on the store shelf. Anyhow, the Pocket Pussy once outside of its packaging is a floppy thing. And that was a bit of a problem trying to get started with it. The whole thing is a little over 8” long; the sleeve is 6” long; the pussy measures 2.5” thick by 3.5“ wide.
I generally use silicone lube when I jerk off, but I couldn’t use that with Cyberskin. Luckily, I had some water-based lube available.
The Pocket Pussy has a very tight “vag” opening, it’s pretty stretchy, but gettin my dick in there was a problem and the floppy sleeve didn’t help. However, once I got the hang of it, it was less of a bother. I confess; this feels fantastic on my cock. I can apply more pressure using my hand on the sleeve, but I didn’t really need to do that. It is a mighty tight hole, and I’m not all that big.
So there I was stroking away watching some porn on the computer and thinking this is totally awesome. Although, I kept thinking the thing needs something to steady the sleeve or tunnel area while fuckin it.
Once I popped a nut in the sleeve I pulled my dick out all satisfied. But while I was admiring my new friend; I noticed that my spooge and lube was dripping out the other end on to my chair. I had forgotten that the Pocket Pussy has an opening on the end that is supposed to make cleaning it easy.
So I quick grab the open end of the sleeve and squeeze it shut so that the rest of my joy juice doesn’t come out. I take it to the bathroom and start the clean up. This turned out to be a much bigger chore than I planned. Ya gotta work soap and water into the sleeve and then rinse it all out. Unfortunately, you can’t really turn the sleeve inside out, which would make cleaning easier.
Now that it’s clean, or as clean as I can get it; it needs to dry. I tried drying it off with a towel as the package recommends, but I got little bits of lint all over the thing. DAMN! After that, I decided to just let it air dry.
Once it was completely dry the Cyberskin felt really tacky. I looked at the instructions on the package again and it says: “Generously apply Renew to properly maintain your Cyberskin product.” But what the fuck is “Renew”? FULL REVIEW HERE
Just to round off today’s theme I offer my review of another masturbation sleeve.
Dr Dick
So sex fans, I suppose ya’ll all know that the Fleshlight has been around for several years now, right? Good, I figured you would’ve noticed. I mean a person can hardly visit a sex related site these days without seeing one of their fetching ads. I realize that I’m a Johnny-cum-lately with my review, but like my momma always used to say — “all good thing come to those who wait”.
Like you, I’ve seen the Fleshlight around for years. And because of that I convinced myself I knew everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?
Well, so much for baseless assumptions.
Imagine my surprise when my very own personal FleshJack Ice showed up on my doorstep. I discovered that just about everything I thought I knew about this marvel didn’t even come close to the real thing. Until I had one of my own to fondle and probe…if ya catch my drift, I was clueless. It’s true what they say; this is the granddaddy of male stimulators. But you really shouldn’t take my word for it.
My initial piece of advice to everyone in my audience is; don’t be a smug jerk like me. That’s right! If you’ve never had your grubby paws on, or your hot little boner in, an actual Fleshlight, you pretty much don’t know nuthin’ about a Fleshlight. Period!
The first thing that struck me about the Fleshlight is it’s way bigger and heavier than I imagined. I figured it would be the size of a regular flashlight. I was wrong. The plastic shell is a serious 10” in length. And by it’s self it’s fairly light. It’s the totally amazing Superskin™ insert that racks up the weigh. My Fleshlight weighs in at a hefty 1 pound, eight and a half ounces. And that, sex fans, is a handful, or two, for damn sure. More about this in a minute.
The Superskin™ insert is totally amazing. It begs to be touched and caressed. It is unlike any other texture I’ve experienced in a sex toy. And like I said, I’ve had an opportunity to test drive a bunch of masturbators and stimulation sleeves in my time. The Superskin™ is kinda like a jelly, but it’s so much more substantial. I know this is gonna sound trite, but it does feel flesh-like. And if you add some hot water to your Fleshlight, as I did, before you sink in your chub, well it’s pretty much the most amazing feeling you can have from something that simulates a human orifice.
And ya wanna talk marketing genius? All Fleshlight customers are invited to customize their unit before they buy. And that is where the fun begins. Since most guys are pretty particular about where they stick their joystick, Fleshlight has cleverly come up with several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral” (apparently for those who can’t commit). The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. There are optional insert colors too: pink, mocha or ice. And get this, you can even choose from among six different internal contours for the insert itself: Original, Super Tight, Ultra Tight, Speed Bump, Super Ribbed and Wonder Wave. If, with all these options, you can’t design the perfect Fleshlight for you, you’re just too damned fussy.
I want to draw your attention to one last feature before we take this puppy on a test drive. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a flashlight, has removable caps at both ends. The top cap covers the bulbous head of the insert and helps keeps it clean when it’s not in use. The end cap can be removed for easy cleaning. (The jizz-fanatics among us will appreciate this, because when a wank session is over, you can simply dribble out your spunk for some delicious DNA play.)
Like I suggested above you can also add hot water through the end cap for a warm, squishy jack. If you do add water, don’t over-fill the blasted thing. No more than three-quarter full is my suggestion. And this is best done in the shower or bath. Because, depending on the vigor of your stroke, things will get might wet, which just so happens to add to the fun. Just so you know, this was my favorite way to Fleshlight! FULL REVIEW HERE
Because The Dr Dick Review Crew has been inundated with loads of swell adult products to review, we will be presenting several different toys each week till we relieve the backlog.
Despite it not even being Halloween yet, I know from my forays into the land of retail that holiday gift giving is not far from the minds of a lot of people. Perish the thought! So expediting our reviews will also give you loads of gift-giving ideas. And that, my friends, is all I’m gonna say about that till at least the middle of next month when we launch our annual Holiday Gift Giving Guide.
Today we will hear from Review Crew Members: Madora, Joy & Dixie, Brad and Glenn & Hank. So without further ado…
There’s something brand-spankin new goin on at Fleshlight. Here’s Brad to tell us all about it.
The Fleshlight company has been around for a lone time. They make the legendary Fleshlight and Fleshjack. I’m the proud owner of my very own Fleshlight; it is my go-to toy for spankin the monkey. I never get tired of my Fleshlight and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. That’s way I wanted to review their new product: Sex In A Can.
I am of the mind that foolin’ around with or trying to improve on a great product, an icon even, will sure enough just fuck things up. I just couldn’t see why the Fleshlight people were tempting fate by bring outSex In A Can. But I promised Dr Dick that I would set aside my preconceived ideas and approach this new product with an open mind.
Damn! I’ll be the first to admit, I was totally off base in thinking the iconic Fleshlight couldn’t be improved upon. Wait, improved is not the word I’m looking for, because Sex In A Can doesn’t really improve on the original design, it just gives the consumer yet another option.
Those of you familiar with Fleshlight will know that every customer can pretty much customize every aspect of the unit he wants to buy. They have several “orifice” options: pussy, mouth, asshole or “neutral”. The plastic case comes in silver, black or clear. The insert comes in different colors, and there are several different internal contours for the insert itself.
Sex In A Can is basically just another option in terms of size and shape. Here’s what I mean. Sex In A Can is shaped like a tallboy beer, instead of the traditional oversized Fleshlight shape. It is lighter, more compact, less expensive, yet it has all the features of its big brothers.
There are three brand new “orifice” options — two different pussies (Mmmm, pussies!) and a mouth. Three new insert contours too. Everything else — including the patented Superskin insert remains the same. The plastic case, the thing that looks like a tallboy beer, has removable caps at both ends, as does the Fleshlight. The top cap covers the head of the insert and keeps it clean when your dick’s not in it. The end cap can also be removed for easy cleaning.
Just like the Fleshlight, ya gotta loosen the end cap a bit before you attempt to stick in your dick. Sex In A Can is a whole lot tighter than my stalwart Fleshlight. In fact, bein the hefty-cock brother I am, it was a very tight squeeze. I had to use a shitload of lube just to get me started. Oh, and by the way, you can only use water-based lube with all the Fleshlight Superskin products. Here’s a tip: you adjust the suction created inside Sex In A Can by either loosening or tightening the base cap.
Clean up is a super-easy. A little soap and water will do the trick. But once the insert is dry, you have to dust it, inside and out, with a little cornstarch, or body powder. This will help keep things as fresh as the day you got it.
MySex In A Can: Spread Eagle Brew, came with the Pink Spread Lady orifice; (Mmmm, pussies!) mini vortex insert; the cleverly designed beer can case; and sample packet of lube.
Glenn: “Check this out! This is the best thing that’s happened to butt fuckin since the invention of the sling. The Ramp is just one of Liberator’s many sex furniture shapes that are designed to add more fun and lessen bodily stress for whatever kind of sex you have up your sleeve.” Hank: “Or down your pant leg, as the case may be. We got us a plus sized Ramp and it is covered in black pleather. But you can choose from a bunch of sizes and fabric options.”
Glenn: “Pleather is great, because it cleans up fast. And that’s a big plus because our sessions can get pretty messy.” Hank: “Ok, so what is the LiberatorRamp exactly and why is even better than a sling, or a swing for that matter? Good questions. The LiberatorRamp is a big triangular shaped, sturdy, comfy and solidly made cushion. Ours is 29” X 35” X 12”. And it can be used in a multitude of ways.” Glenn: “It’s better than a sling or swing, because it’s portable, storable and you don’t have to suspend it from the ceiling, or set it up every time you want to shag. It does stow easily under the bed. It’s perfect for butt fuckin, because regardless of what position you like the LiberatorRamp is gonna make the sex a whole lot better for the top as well as the bottom.” Hank: “Glenn likes it doggie style. I just bend him over the Ramp and plow away at his ass. It’s easier on me, because his ass is elevated to just the right position for the ass-ult. I can go as deep as possible, because his pelvis is supported by theRamp. Oh, and ya can’t really do doggie style in a sling or swing!” Glenn: “Hank is right! I don’t have to arch my back or strain my arms and wrists pressing back against his manly thrusts. But he can still grab my hair and pull.” Hank: “You joke, but I know you love it deep and heavy. You’re just a dirty little piggy bottom, aren’t you?” Glenn: “Oink, oink! I do enjoy a furious ride, that’s for damn sure. Ok, so if you want to do another position, all you do is reposition yourself on theRamp for a little face-to-face action. Like I lay down on theRamp, with my head at the lowest part of the incline. I scoot my butt to the highest edge of the incline.” Hank: “Again, his ass is perfectly positioned for me to fuck him silly. With Glenn already angled down, I can lift and open his legs with ease.” Glenn: “My toes are pointed to Jesus, and I’m in fuckin’ heaven.” Hank: “Oh, theRamp is great for cocksucking too. I just lay back on theRamp, in the position Glenn just described, which elevates my hips 12” off the floor. Glenn has all the access he needs to my dick, balls and rosebud. He can service me till his heart’s content.” Glenn: “Again, there no stress or strain on my neck or back while I blow him. And in this position Hank can grab his knees and pull open his own legs. PERFECT!”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Joy & Dixie have the pleasure of introducing you to a new kid on the block, Duncan Charles Designs. They specialize in unique, handcrafted ceramic adult toys.
Dixie: “Here’s something refreshing, this ceramic textured dildo is handmade! I’m so tired of mass-produced sex toys, aren’t you? Oh to have something unique, something that is crafted not manufactured.” Joy: “Dixie is so right; I love knowing that no one else on the planet had precisely the same toy as we have. Each Duncan Charles Designs piece is unlike any other. In fact, it’s beautiful art. And it is GREEN!” Dixie: “Signature has a food grade high-gloss coating that makes it as smooth as glass. But it is also textured, just the way we like it. Despite it being ceramic, there is nothing fussy about this beauty.” Joy: “However, you will want to treat Signature with loving care, not because it’s fragile, but because it is a fine-looking sculpture.” Dixie: “Signature comes wrapped in a lovely lined ultrasuede pouch. Ours is jet black, but it also comes in red. It’s just under 8″ long and weighs in at just over 8 ounces.” Joy: “It has a rounded head on top of its scalloped shaft. The ridges add immeasurable fun. Because of the super high-gloss finish, we only had to use a little bit of lube. And you can use any type of lube you want with this ceramic baby.”
Dixie: “This dildo is designed for g-spot, clitoral or prostate massage. Unlike most of the other G-spot stimulators that have a curve to themSignature is straight as an arrow. And yet it is just as effective as the curved ones.” Joy: “I also really like the fact that I can warm and chill the Signature to suit my mood. You can chill it in the refrigerator for a few minutes or warm it by placing it under running hot water.”
FULL REVIEW HERE
Finally, Madora, has something fun from Big Teaze Toys to show you.
When I saw the Super Flower Power, two-piece bouquet at Dr. Dick’s I had to have it! It’s the cutest thing ever; a vibrator cleverly disguised as a daisy, complete with stem and soft removable petals, even a ladybug button that controls the 8 (EIGHT!) different “play modes”. It’s from Big Teaze Toys, the people that brought us the “Rub My Duckie“, rubber duck vibrator bathtub toy. Clearly it was adorable, but was it functional? I brought it home to find out.
Home; batteries included (triple A), YES! I love it when that happens. Inside there’s a bonus Flower Power keychain, a mini version of the vibe that looks like a little daisy without the stem, this one even comes with bonus extra batteries (the little watch kind), EXCELLENT!
My first impression is that the vibrating part, the center of the flower, is a little hard for me. At least for direct contact with my “flower”. The center of the flower is hard plastic. But I like the soft petals which spread the vibes out from its petals to yours. It’s like a gentle labia massage, which is cool and rare in a vibrator. These are especially nice if you use a little lube on the petals.
I’m starting to get used to the texture and hardness. I actually like it and like the strength of the vibe when I’m using it through my clothes, the barrier makes it not seem so hard and yet it’s still able to convey strong enough vibes right through to where they’re needed. I was thinking it could be fun for when you want to tease your partner right through her clothes. Did I mention these toys are waterproof?
All in all it definitely did the trick but when I really start to get into it, either with the vibe or the little keychain, the soft petal ring pops right off the vibrator. I either hafta kinda hold it on, or stop and put it back on, if I wanna keep playing with that part. So that’s a bummer.
The keychain has been a godsend. I’m on a trip right now and brought it with me and wasn’t concerned about security seeing it, It just looks like a toy. I ended up having cramps and everyone knows an orgasm is the best thing for cramps so I put it to use, you know, for medicinal purposes.
Sex fans, we have a load of lovely lubes to tell you about. We received five of the hottest selling Boy Butter products to test, and test we did! In fact, The Dr Dick Review Crew has pert near wore out their parts testing this stuff. What we won’t do in the name of science.
Review Crew members; Mick & Chuck, Kevin & Gina, Jack & Karen and Carlos walk us around these products.
Gina: “We’ve both been wanting to try a warming lube, so I’m glad we were chosen for Boy Butter Warming.” Kevin: “I like the pump container. It’s easy to use and there’s not the mess that often comes with traditional containers.” Gina: “This stuff really works! With just the first application I could feel the warming sensations. At first, I thought it was going to get too intense for me, but it didn’t.” Kevin: “It’s a coconut-oil based lube so it’s not compatible with latex condoms. That’s not an issue for us, but I did want to mention that in my review. Also, this is the first creamy lube we’ve used. I was impressed with its lasting power.” Gina: “I must confess; I had my misgivings at first. I have very sensitive skin and I often have adverse reactions to new lubes. I checked the label on Boy Butter Warming and secretly thought to myself, I can’t even pronounce half of the ingredients. This doesn’t bode well for me using it. At least, that’s what I thought. Curiously enough, I experienced no irritation or discomfort. So yeah for that!” Kevin: “We love our silicone lubes, but they are a bitch to clean up and they stain clothing. This product however, despite containing silicone and being oil-based, cleaned up in a snap. In fact, it cleaned up like a water-based lube.” FULL REVIEWHERE
This is the original formula Boy Butter. It comes in several different packaging options, so you may have seen it in a tub or a squeeze bottle. Personally, I think this E-Z pump is the best. It’s easy to handle, and you can dispense just the right amount of lube you need every time. The plastic top keeps it from accidentally messing up anything else it may come in contact with.
I really like the creamy consistency of Boy Butter. It lasts longer than other oil-based lubes I’ve tried; and I’ve tried plenty. The organic coconut-oil base keeps it slick and silky. I’ve never found a better jack-off lube than Boy Butter. It even outlasts my favorite silicone-based lube. I’m sold on this product.
Keep in mind; you can’t use Boy Butterwith latex condoms.
Clean up is pretty easy too, soap and warm water will do. It’s so much easier to clean up than my favorite silicone-based lube.
Jack: “Damn, this stuff is great!” Karen: “This is the first creamy formula water-based lube I’ve eve seen. I didn’t even know you could make such a thing.” Jack: “We concur with all our fellow reviewers, Boy Butter H2Olast long, never gets sticky. We really like the pump container too. Very convenient!” Karen: “This formula is perfect for use with latex condoms. And because it is water-based, clean up is a breeze. It won’t stain clothing or beading either. And that’s a big plus in my book.” Jack: “Neither one of us experienced any negative reactions to this lube; no irritation, nothing. And we used it for fucking, not just for jillin’ or jackin’ off. Karen: “Yeah, I was really surprised by this. I’m always very careful about what I put near, on or in my pussy. But knock on wood, I’ve had no adverse reaction at all.” Jack: “Kudos for great packaging and branding. It’s fun and smart. Funny, up until we got Boy Butter H2Oto review, I had never heard of the company. I wonder, is it a product line that is primarily marketed to gay men? FULL REVIEWHERE
Mick: “We have a little confession to make. Chuck and I had already used Boy Butter Extreme before we were asked to review it.” Chuck: “We hadn’t used the H20 Based formula and we really wanted to, so we asked if we could test both products.” Mick: “Until we tried the H20 Based one, we thought Boy Butter Extreme was the best such product on the market. We’ve tired several other desensitizing products, but we liked Boy Butter Extreme best.” Chuck: “Sometimes Mick has difficulty relaxing into butt sex. I’m not tooting my own horn here, but I’m hung 8.5”, pretty thick too.” Mick: “Trust me, it’s a sight to behold. But it’s true; I have a tendency to tighten up when I’m just getting started in a fuck. Boy Butter Extreme helps me over this initial phase allows me to enjoy all that is to come.” Chuck: “I love the pump container. Both products are long-lasting and remain slick and silky, which makes fucking a joy. I hate it when lubes get sticky!” Mick: “Both products use the maximum amount of Benzocaine (7.5%) allowed by law. So you know this is industrial strength!” Chuck: “Some people have an adverse reaction to Benzocaine. If you do, these are not the products for you.” Mick: “I am so happy that Boy Butter make a H20 formula, because Chuck has to use a condom when I use either of these products. And the H20 Based version is condom safe.” Chuck: “I was just about to mention that. We had an unfortunate experience a while back when we first started using desensitizing lubes and whatnot. I didn’t wear a condom and my dick became desensitized too.” Mick: “Come to think of it, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing for a guy who has a real short fuse, right? The Benzocaine would probably just the thing to help him last longer.” Chuck: “Oh, and may I suggest that you use these products sparingly. A little goes a very long way. You certainly don’t want to over use either of these lubes. It will take all the fun out of the fuck for both top and bottom; you’ll not be able to feel a thing.” Mick: “Exactly, ya simply want to apply a small amount of Boy Butter Extreme (or the H20 Based formula) to your finger, insert it into your ass. Smooth it around till you’ve lightly coated your sphincter. You will notice the numbing effect in a minute or two. Remember, you can always add more if needed, but you can’t eliminate it once it’s been applied. At least, not without soap and water.” FULL REVIEWHERE
We have a couple more Synergy Erotic toys to tell you about. I can say in advance that the Dr Dick Review Crew is more than a little frustrated. We see so much potential in this company, but sadly they have yet to hit their stride in consistently producing quality toys.
They are full of very interesting ideas, but their execution leaves a great deal to be desired. We wondered out loud in a previous review: “We do, however, have a few words of advice for the Synergy Erotic people. Why not invest more in the production values of your products and make a name for yourself in terms of quality, not price per unit. We’d be willing to pay considerably more for a vibe, like this, that actually worked as advertised.”
Review Crew members, Madora and Chuck take turns filling us in on these two products.
My first impression of the SILK vibe by Synergy Erotic was that it was adorable, but without being disgustingly so. Mine’s lavender but it comes in pink too. I was impressed by their minimal yet informative packaging.
SILK measures approximately 7.5 x 1.25 inches and has cute flowers “growing” all over it. The flowers are slightly raised, which adds a bit more texture. It’s got what they call “infinite vibration”, it’s waterproof, multi-speed, phthalate free, and runs on 2 AA batteries, which are not included. Bad luck for that!
The first time I used the SILK vibe I turned the ring to turn the vibration on and it just kept turning. Broken already! I mean REALLY! The very first use and it’s broken. So unfortunately I had to totally screw the top on and off every time I want to use it. But even this didn’t always work. I had a devil of a time turning it on. (Which isn’t good thing when I’m already turned on!)
SILK has some potential. I think it’s cute and it is flexy and kinda squishy in parts but not so much that you couldn’t use it properly. I found I was able to slip it in my bum without much pain because it has such nice give to it. (I can’t do that with other harder toys). It’s got a pretty good-sized vibrating egg in the tip, but it doesn’t really conduct a lot of the vibrations through the rest of the shaft.
This here is the Beer Babe Vagina in what they call Precious Pink. It also comes in, god help us, Raunchy Red.
I’m gay! So right off the bat, the promotional pitch for this product didn’t appeal to me. Seems to me Synergy Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me. I do love a good masturbating sleeve. So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it. I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.
The Beer Babe gets high marks for creativity. I mean besides it looking like a bottle of beer, the copy on the label is a hoot. “Superb Jackability” on the front. And on the back: “Prolonged use of this item may cause pleasure, stimulation and finally ejaculation! Use of suitable water-based lubricants and appropriate visual ages is highly recommended. Deposit Required!”
It says that it’s 9” fleshy inches. But that’s simply not true. The whole bottle is 9 inches. And no one’s dick, least of all mine, would fit in the bottle’s neck. Besides, the “fleshy” insert is only 6 inches. And while that might suit most guys; if you got anything over a 6 inch boner, the head of your dick is gonna get jammed up against the tapering neck of the bottle. OUCH!
Vigorous thrusting, the kind I like, will also dislodge the fleshy insert from the hard plastic bottle. This is frustrating in the extreme.
When I first took this thing from its packaging and opened the base to look inside, a wave of noxious fumes came from within. WTF? I mentioned this to Dr Dick and he said that’s called off-gas. Which is a nasty by-product of manufacturing. I wasn’t about to stick my dick in there till I eliminated the smell. I soaked the entire unit, inside and out, in hot soapy water first, to rid it of the smell.
After only one attempt at squeezing one off with theBeer Babe; I gave up. Like I said, the insert kept separating from the bottle shaped holder.
Joy: “First off, there is no way a photo on a website could ever capture the stunning beauty of The Two Way.” Dixie: “That is so true! When either one or both of us aren’t enjoying The Two Way in the bedroom; it is proudly displayed on our mantelpiece on its own Plexiglas stand. Can ya stand it?” Joy: “I actually prefer this in my pussy, or better yet as a double dong for both our pussies; but it is lovely on the mantel, that’s for damn sure.” Dixie: “The Two Way is made of Pyrex glass. Ya know, that durable glass that daily takes a beating in your kitchen.” Joy: “It’s a whooper too! It’s approximately 12” long x 1” diameter. It weighs a hefty 1lb 12.6 oz. It’s quite a handful. There is no texture to it; it’s totally smooth.”
Dixie: “Actually, it’s more than a handful. More than even two hands full.”
Joy: “And as I said, your can play with this solo, or make it a party for two. There is nothing gender specific about this; so boys can have a ball with this too!” Dixie: “If you are unfamiliar with glass insertables, you should know that the market is currently being flooded with glass products. Very few of them are as fine a quality as The Two Way. The cheap knock-offs are being mass-produced in China. I’d avoid that stuff like the plague, if i were you. In this instance, you should expect to pay some real good money, $120+, for something top of the line like this.” Joy: “Glass is like no other sex toy material. With just the tiniest amount of lube (we use a silicone-based lube) this thing becomes amazingly slick. And you can warm or chill this baby for added sensations.” Dixie: “The Two Way, like all quality glass products, is easy to care for too. Warm soapy water and a nice lint-free towel is all you need for clean up. But you can pop it in the dishwasher; sterilize it in a 10% bleach solution; or dip it in boiling water for a couple of minutes. Because glass is non-porous, it is the ideal material for the toys one shares.”
Lookie what we have here; its art that is as stunning on your mantle as it is inside you. Over the next two weeks, the Dr Dick Review Crew has the pleasure (both literally and figuratively) of introducing you to three exquisite insertables by a brand new artisan: Simply Blown. They get extra points for their name and the double entendre. Who doesn’t appreciate a sex toy company with a sense of humor?
Each one of the toys we have is unique. They are individually crafted and are museum quality. Think of it as old world craftsmanship with a wickedly sexy edge. What could be finer?
Dr Dick Review Crew members — Gina & Kevin and Joy & Dixie do the honors.
This week Gina & Kevin is tell us about Love Line.
Gina: “You can understand my excitement when Kevin and I were chosen to review these beauties. Just look at them! I could hardly contain myself. Kevin: “She gets that way sometimes.” Gina: “What, are you trying to say you didn’t cream your jeans at the thought of having one of this up your bum?” Kevin: “Oh I’m so BUSTED!” Gina: “There, I told you.” Kevin: “Gina’s right we both got a little moist at the thought of diddlin’ ourselves (and one another) with the likes of the Love Line. She got the big one — 9″ tall x 1 5/8″ diameter, which stand on a flared base.” Gina: “And he got the petite one — 5″ tall x 1″ diameter, also with a flared base.” Kevin: “She used hers in her pussy, I used mine in my ass!” Gina: “It’s exactly like Jack Sprat and his wife, only completely different.” Kevin: “We no sooner got in the door when we dropped trou, whipped out the lube and had at it for our first go.” Gina: “The tiniest bit of lube, either water-based or silicone-based, makes these beautiful glass insertables super slick.” Kevin: “I love to watch Gina fuck herself with her toys. I get so fuckin’ hot. The Love Line glass made the experience almost psychedelic. Once she got her rhythm, the 9” of super-smooth purple art plunged deeper into Gina with each stroke. This drove her wild. And, of course, I egged her on by making the most lewd comments I could think of. ‘That’s it baby, stretch out that tiny little cunt of yours with that really big boy.’ ” Gina: “He does love his dirty talk. I used to be so embarrassed when he would do that. It sounded so crude. Now turns me on. See I’m growing!” Kevin: “Gina’s on her back, propped up by pillows. I’m opposite her squatting till my ass lips come in contact with the glass. It’s cool and my ass devours it.” Gina: “It’s true, without so much as a moment’s hesitation the petite pink plug disappears inside him. He grins with amusement and spews more filthy talk.” Kevin: “I’ve taken bigger, but the hardness of the glass is a new sensation. Oh, and by the way, this insertable can’t really be called a plug. It’s a dildo. A plug would have a notch just before the base that my sphincter would lock onto to hold it in place.” Gina: “I stand corrected.” Kevin: “I sure do hope Simply Blown does come out with a line of plugs. Because I would love to wear one of these babies for a few hours.” Gina: “We both came watching each other pleasure ourselves. I love to watch Kevin feed his behind.” Kevin: “Don’t you just love how she avoids calling my asshole an asshole?” Gina: “Sheesh!” Kevin: “On our next date with the Love Line we took our time. We added some sensation play. The Love Line, indeed all fine glass like this, can be heated and chilled. We used both, a hot water bath in one bowl and an ice water bath in the other. Going from hot to cold or cold to hot blew our minds.”
I’m in love with LELO! I feel like I’ve scored the Review Crew jackpot with my IRIS.
I have the pleasure of introducing you to IRIS, the beautifully designed and multifunctional silicone vibrating dildo, I mean insertable…I mean pleasure object. Sheesh! LELO is so freakin’ high-end that they’ve taken it upon themselves to euphemize their sex toys as pleasure objects. I say; “a rose by any other name…”
I’ve never been one to buy into the hype about sex toys, especially hype generated by a toy’s manufacturer about its own products. But somehow “pleasure object” fits in this case. LELO spares no expense in treating their customers like we’re someone special. I mean, everything from the stylish upscale (some would say overkill) packaging to the 1-year LELO warranty confidently states quality. Is there another toy on the market that comes with a warranty?
IRIS comes in three appealing girly colors, mine is pink. Judging just from the color palette this pleasure object is obviously part of LELO Femme line. They also have their Homme line that features guy toys in guy colors. I’m not so particular about color, but I’ll bet a man would be less inclined to buy an IRIS because of the color. And that’s too bad, because this toy could easily be enjoyed by either gender or everyone in between.
IRIS is also rechargeable, so a big hurray for that! A three-hour wall charge gives it up to five hours of power. Mmmm! And because it’s fully charged at the factory, you can start playing with the IRIS immediately. Extra points for that!
(By the way, I’m trying to be as responsible as I can with my motorized toys. Whenever possible I choose rechargeable. When that’s not and option I always use rechargeable batteries. To do less is a both expensive and decidedly un-GREEN.)
The insertable part of IRIS is made of firm high-grade silicone molded into a stylized (slightly curved) flower bud shape. Very appealing! I like a little texture to my dildos, so this is perfect for me. And get this; there two separate motors in this baby — one in the shaft and one in the tip. These can be controlled separately or together.
Despite the two motors, the level of vibration can’t compare to a couple of other vibes I own. That actually surprised me, because I was expecting the IRIS to jump out of my hand on the high speed. The sensations are pleasant enough, and I could easily distinguish between the vibrations produced in the shaft as opposed to those produced in the tip. Just don’t expect it to knock your socks off. The motors, however, are very quiet; a feature that is very important to me. I hate it when a vibe sounds like a lawnmower.
You’ll probably want to use lube with IRIS, because she’s thicker than a lot of toys. Be sure you use only a water-based lube on a beautiful silicone pleasure object like this. Using a silicone-based lube will destroy IRIS. Because of it’s length, the pleasure is deep as well as full.
The control button is lighted and it allows me to increase the intensity of vibrations as well as cycle through the five pulsation modes. However, the controls in the handle aren’t particularly easy to adjust with lubed fingers. This can be pretty frustrating.”
Hank: “This is the fanciest cockring I ever did see!” Glenn: “Pretty damned expensive too.” Hank: “Yeah, but hardly the most expensive one I own. That honor goes to my Silver Tongue Cock Ring.” Glenn: “Yeah, but that one doesn’t vibrate like BO does. And the BO is rechargeable; so you can’t beat that!” Hank: “LELO calls BO a gentleman’s pleasure object. I call it a vibrating cockring. I mean, please!” Glenn: “Ya got no class, Hank! I like the pleasure object concept; it’s so elegant.” Hank: “You weren’t thinking about elegant the other day when I had my cock buried up to the hilt in your bung and the BO was shiverin’ your ass lips.” Glenn: “True! I was thinking; ‘Oh sweet mystery of life at last I found you!’” Hank: “You are such a freak!” Glenn: “Well when it comes to my hole, you know I am.” Hank: “Let’s get back to the review, shall we? BO actually has two parts — the ring itself and the vibrating attachment. The ring is made of a soft, flexible material. The small print on the LELO site says this material is Thermoplastic elastomers (TPE). Will this be an issue for someone who has an allergy to rubber or latex-based products? It beats the hell out of me.
The vibrating attachment is encased in a sturdy plastic material. Sliding the attachment onto the ring activates the vibe. There is no on/off switch.” Glenn: “I thought that part was odd. Why there’s no on/off switch is like totally beyond me. Because it’s not so easy sliding the vibe attachment onto, or off of the ring. So once ya have the ring on your johnson, it’ll be thrilling the wearer till he takes it off.” Hank: “I tried BO first in a little solo JO session. I was happy to discover that the relatively modestly sized ring stretched to fit my dick. Then I had Glenn give me some head while I was wearing BO. That was pretty mind blowing.” Glenn: “My husband has got a really big one, ladies and gentleman! And I have no gag reflex!”
Tra la! It’s May!
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev’ryone throws
Self-control away.
It’s time to do
A wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you’ll always rue!
It’s May! It’s May!
The month of “yes you may,”
The time for ev’ry frivolous whim,
Proper or “im.”
It’s wild! It’s gay!
A blot in ev’ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast
Amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May.
— Alan Jay Lerner
It’s Week 4, and the final week, of our Holiday Extravaganza. Did you somehow miss Week 1, 2 or 3 of this lollapalooza? Shame on you! Check out Reviews #25,26and 27. You’ll be so glad ya did.
The Dr Dick Review Crew has been workin’ overtime gettin you these reviews and now all our naughty parts are sore as all get out. Thank god this is the last week; we need a break, don’t cha know!
First up Ken & Denise introduce us to a beautiful wooden insertable from Hans at Hardwood Dildos. I’m a big fan of Hans’. He is more than a craftsman; he’s an artist. He really knows his wood and his woodies! We have just this one dildo to review, but his site is virtually overflowing with ingenious designs. When you visit, be sure to tell him Dr Dick sent you.
Ken: “I was hoping I would be one of the lucky chosen ones to review one of the great wooden dildos we’ve featured during our Holiday Extravaganza. I lucked out! Denise and I have a real beauty.” Denise: “That is so true. Unfortunately, our Apple Wood Dildo doesn’t come already named, like the ones reviewed earlier in this series.” Ken: “Well, it’s only unfortunate if you’re not clever enough to come up with name all on your own. I’ve christened ours Peter…for obvious reasons.” Denise: “I stand corrected. Maybe I need to be punished. Ken: “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Just you wait till we get home, young lady!” Denise: “Ohhh, Daddy!” Ken: “We seem to be veering off topic. Back to our beautiful Hardwood Dildo. It is made of Apple wood, a fine-grained, dense wood, which has a very fair color, kinda like maple or cherry. Apparently, the wood comes from trees pruned in Oregon.”
Next Gina & Kevin introduce us to a couple of lovable toys for the big kid in all of us. These come from the good people at Big Tease Toys. Dr Dick gives a bunch of extra points for the delightful names. You go Big Tease! I Rub My Duckie Bondage $25.99
Gina: “If a company can make me smile and make me cum at the same time, they win my heart. Now my heart belongs to Big Tease. I Rub My Duckie Bondage is just one of the great Collector’s Series duckies available from Big Tease Toys. You have to see the other! Makes me giggle just visiting the site.” Kevin: “I got such a kick out of this. And speaking of kicks; this little bugger is mighty powerful.” Gina: “BondageDuckie has a permanent place in our bathroom. It is always in reach. There is nothing better than a waterproof vibe. I love to get off in the tub.” Kevin: “It’s a real conversation piece too. It even comes with its own set of Duckie-sized handcuffs. What a hoot! Guests always comment on our fashionable BDSM Duckie. Little do they know.”
Kevin: “The I Rub My Wormie we have is the travel sized one. That makes is a bit smaller than the regular size. It make an excellent butt plug.” Gina: “Or Pussy plug! I Rub My Wormie has a, ergonomic bend in his neck to reach your G- or P-spot. It has an easy-grip body so he won’t wiggle out of your hands.” Kevin: “Oh baby, Oh baby, you make me so hot!! Don’t forget the 3-speeds of vibration.” Gina: “It actually is the perfect toy to travel with. Airport security will think you are carrying a baby’s toy. If they only knew.
Jada: At first I thought this was some kind of gag. I mean Fun Finger looks like something you’d find on one of those prank websites. It’s basically a big golden thumb. Fun Finger is soft and flexible. It has a multi-speed vibrator that is adjusted on the base of the finger. It’s made in China of TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber), which is non-toxic, but anyone allergic to latex will not be able use this. I’m not a big fan of Chinese made products, especially nowadays, but this one seems harmless enough.
I did like the unique shape — the cocked thumb. It’s perfect for G-spot stimulation. I wouldn’t, however, recommend it for prostate stimulation. There’s nothing to hold on to at the base and it could easily slip in your bum and disappear. And that would very unpleasant indeed.
Dixie: “This is our second go around with these sorts of products. Joy and I, Glenn and Hank and others did a whole series on some of the products from Sportsheets. You can find those reviews below. Look for Reviews #17 &18.” Joy: “Dixie and I prefer Rachel’s product line to the other. For one thing, we found them more comfortable.” Dixie: “I hope this doesn’t sound petty, but we also like Rachel’s packaging better. It’s more fun and it isn’t so blatantly heterosexual.” Joy: “Basically, the G–Spotter is a device that one attaches to the bottom’s ankles so the top can maneuver the bottom’s legs with more ease. The bottom can hold the strap herself or the top can hold it and move it from side to side.
Glenn: “Hank and I agree with Dixie. We also like Rachel’s packaging better than the Sportsheets packaging. I guess it’s a gay thing!” Hank: “In fact, we liked everything about the Rachel’s line better. We agree with the gals, it’s a more comfortable setup” Glenn: “Not that the bottom is supposed to be comfortable all the time. If ya catch my drift.” Hank: “Yeah, but Rachel’s line of products, although practical and fully functional, is geared toward the bondage novice, wouldn’t you agree?” Glenn: “Absolutely! But we all have to start somewhere.” Hank: “Do you know a budding kinkster? Maybe you’re one yourself. Glenn: “Maybe you’d just like to know the thrill of relinquishing control for an itsy bitsy moment or two.”
Joy: “Now this is something I can really sink my teeth into.” Dixie: “What she means to say is ‘…sink a nice big dildo into’.” Joy: “I loves me my strap-ons! I have quite a collection. Some are more comfortable than others, but I love ‘em all.” Dixie: “I’m not as much of a connoisseur, as Joy, but this Neoprene Harness is very comfortable, I must say.” Joy: “It is that! It is also reversible and machine washable. I love that part. I hate having to clean lube and whatnot off my leather harness.” Dixie: “It’s also fully adjustable. It would have to be to fit both Joy and I. We have such different body types.”
Hank: “Now this is more like it! Rachel’s Bed Spread allows you can create a little bondage magic without the screw anchors and bolts in the ceiling and walls needed for more traditional bondage apparatus.” Glenn: “I love being restrained spread eagle on the bed. I love relinquishing control to my partner(s) and being ravaged by him/them.” Hank: “And now we can play like this our own bedroom, or take it on vacation with us.” Glenn: “These two straps go around the mattress and allow us to attach wrist or ankle cuffs to the straps. The straps are adjustable fitting a twin up to a King Size bed Hank: “Rachel’s Bed Spread is not the least be threatening. In fact, if you just wanna mess around with some power-play this is just the thing for you.” Glenn: “But it also works for those of us who are a tad more hardcore.”
So there ya have it, Sex Fans. We hope our Holiday Extravaganza provided you with lot of swell gift giving ideas. Look for more Product Reviews in the New Year.
turned inside out in the package so you can see the dozens of nubs that will be massaging your penis when you use it. Obviously the Sidekick is easy to turn inside out, which is all-important when you want it’s time to clean up, but more about that in a minute.
everything there was to know about the device. After all, I visited their websites loads of times. I watched their beautifully produced and very sexy mini-movies (more times than I care to say). And I even interviewed a bunch of satisfied customers. I confess, even though I never actually held a Fleshlight in my hand, I imagined I knew everything there was to know about a Fleshlight. I mean hey, it’s not like I never used a masturbator before. How different could this one be?
disgustingly so. Mine’s lavender but it comes in pink too. I was impressed by their minimal yet informative packaging.
Erotic is needlessly eliminating a whole bunch of potential queer customers with this approach, but that’s just me. I do love a good masturbating sleeve. So even if it looks like a cunt, I won’t hold that against it. I mean once I get goin, I’m not gonna notice the configuration of the orifice.
that!”
