Americans’ support for transgender rights has declined.

— Here’s why.

A sign outside a restroom in Durham, N.C., in May 2016.

The culture war over transgender rights is part of a fight over competing notions of gender and sexuality, including issues like abortion and sex education

by Kelsy Burke and Emily Kazyak

During the 2022 midterm election campaign, Republican public officials targeted transgender rights in what NPR and other news media have called the new front in the culture wars. Last month’s Public Religion Research Institute’s American Values Survey appears to offer confirmation, finding increased polarization on all measures of LGBTQ rights. In particular, Americans’ support for transgender rights has declined.

Public opinion on ‘bathroom bills’

Take one measure: whether laws should require transgender people to use bathrooms that correspond to their sex assigned at birth, not their current gender identity. In 2016, only 35 percent of all Americans favored these “bathroom bills,” the first of which was proposed that year in North Carolina. In 2022, after numerous other states proposed similar laws, the number of Americans supporting them rose to 52 percent.

The jump was especially pronounced for White evangelicals and Republicans. In 2016, only 41 percent of White evangelicals and 44 percent of Republicans supported the requirement that transgender people use bathrooms that aligned with their sex assigned at birth. By 2022, that number doubled to 86 percent and 87 percent, respectively.

Other groups also increased their opposition to transgender rights, but the rise was less dramatic for Democrats and Americans who are unaffiliated with religion. Only 27 percent of Democrats favored bathroom bills in 2016, compared with 31 percent in 2022. Among nonreligious respondents, support for requiring transgender people to use the bathroom that aligns with their sex assigned at birth increased from 21 percent in 2016 to 34 percent in 2022.

These numbers suggest that transgender issues are increasingly being lived out in polarizing ways among Americans — in other words, that the “culture wars” narrative holds true. As sociologists, we have sought to dig deeper than the quantitative findings to understand why Americans hold such diverging beliefs.

Gender logics

Using Nebraska as a case study, we asked residents to explain their views about transgender bathroom use in their own words.

The random sample of 938 mostly cisgender Nebraska residents who completed the mail survey were evenly split across this issue, with a slight majority (51 percent) saying transgender people should be required to use bathrooms that align with the sex they were assigned at birth. Like the latest PRRI national data, our respondents who were politically conservative and White evangelicals were more likely to oppose transgender rights on bathroom use.

In analyzing the 623 respondents who answered open-ended questions about “bathroom bills,” we found that support or opposition hinges on beliefs about the nature of gender itself. Sociologists have described these as believing in “static gender” (assigned at birth and unchanging) or “fluid gender” (can change over the life course and can manifest differently for different people).

Supporters of transgender rights believe in gender fluidity and take transgender people’s experiences seriously. These respondents reasoned that “people should live their lives as the way they identify themselves.” They argued that to deny transgender people the ability to use the bathroom aligned with their gender identity is “disrespectful,” “discriminating,” and “exposes them to needless humiliation.” Some supporters questioned why social life is organized around gender at all, and suggested gender-inclusive restrooms as an option that would allow everyone, transgender or cisgender, to “pee in peace,” as one of our respondents wrote.

In contrast, opponents of transgender rights see gender change as illegitimate and privilege cisgender people’s experiences. Respondents reason that “you cannot choose gender” and that “society should not be forced to recognize other categories than male and female.” Opponents also take for granted that social life should be organized by gender and position transgender people as threats to both the status quo and to cisgender people, especially women and children. To allow transgender people the ability to use the bathroom aligned with their gender identity is “dangerous to our children” and “an invasion of our privacy,” two respondents wrote.

The PRRI survey finds that Americans overall are more likely to view gender as static than as fluid (59 percent of adult Americans surveyed), dividing sharply along political and religious lines. In 2022, 87 percent of White evangelical Protestants say they believe there are only two genders, man or woman, compared with 68 percent of White mainline Protestants, 76 percent of Black Protestants, 70 percent of White Catholics, 51 percent of Hispanic Catholics, and 45 percent of nonreligious respondents. Eighty-eight percent of Republicans believe there are only two genders, man or woman, compared to 66 percent of independents and 36 percent of Democrats. These data reflect the broader political landscape, with White Protestant Republicans pushing anti-trans legislation.

The stakes of the culture wars

Though these findings obviously relate to transgender people, they implicate cisgender people, too. The culture war over transgender rights is part of a war over competing notions of gender and sexuality, and how those should be regulated in the social world. Thus, in 2022, we have observed simultaneous political attacks on transgender people, reproductive freedoms, and sex education. Americans are divided because we have fundamentally different vantage points over whose identities deserve protection and which experiences are to be prioritized and believed.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

November 2, 2022November 2, 2022

What Does It Mean To Be Bigender?

Experts Explain The Gender Identity

For starters, it doesn’t mean you’re bisexual.

By Emily Becker

Gender is a spectrum, so there are a ton of ways you can choose to identify yourself—a.k.a. you’re not limited to just “female” and “male.” In addition to terms like non-binary, genderfluid, and pangender becoming more commonly used, one term you may also have been hearing recently is “bigender.”

In its most basic definition, being bigender means that you identify with having two genders. What those two genders are and how those two genders show up in the way you express yourself is entirely up to you—and isn’t the same from one bigender individual to another. As a gender identity (as opposed to a sexual identity or orientation), the term also doesn’t indicate who someone might be attracted to.

If you’re looking to learn more about the topic, here’s everything you need to know about what it means to be bigender, including how someone might express their bigender identity and how you can support the bigender community, according to expert sources.

What does it mean to be bigender?

Within the definition of bigender, there are many ways to experience the identity, and anyone who identifies as two genders (regardless of what those two genders are) would fall on the bigender spectrum.

“It is important to recognize that just because someone identifies with two genders does not mean those gender identities are man and woman. Being bigender can also include non-binary identities, for example, male and agender, or agender and androgenous, etc.” says Erynn Besser, LCPC and AASECT-certified sex therapist. “There are many different gender identities with which people may identify within the bigender identity.”

The bigender identity is usually grouped under the umbrella of non-binary (more on that later). “To be bigender means having two gender identities that can be experienced and expressed separately, or that can blend and be experienced simultaneously,” explains Paula Leech, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. How a person experiences and expresses their two genders can also be dependent on different situations, adds sex therapist Alex Chinks, PsyD.

During times when someone may appear to be expressing one gender exclusively, it’s important to recognize that the second gender doesn’t just disappear from their identity during those times. “You may see a bigender individual who dresses and ‘appears’ completely cis-gendered,” Chinks explains. “That does not mean that their other gender identity is not a part of them and who they are.” Got that down?

What is the difference between bigender, non-binary, genderfluid, pangender, and bisexual?

While these are all terms that you might hear in a similar context as bigender, they are all their own unique identities.

Non-binary: Someone who is non-binary feels their experience of their gender does not feel like an accurate reflection of the gender they were assigned at birth, specifically male or female, says Leech. It is also a larger category of gender identities under which bigender falls.
Genderfluid: Someone who identifies as genderfluid would see gender as more of an expansive, ever-changing concept, Leech explains. For a genderfluid person, gender identity is an idea that is constantly shifting as they grow.
Pangender: While someone who is bigender feels they identify as two genders, someone who is pangender feels they encompass multiple, or even all genders, according to Leech.
Bisexual: A sexual orientation, someone who is bisexual experiences “sexual and/or romantic attraction to people who are of the same gender and people who have a different gender than your own,” Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, a sex educator and researcher based in Atlanta previously told Women’s Health. This means someone could be both bigender and bisexual, but they don’t have to be.

What does being bigender look like?

Because the bigender experience can vary greatly (like all gender identities, TBH), there’s no one way to express being bigender, and you should celebrate your identity in the way that feels best for you.

“It is important to recognize that each person’s expression of their gender identity is unique to them, and there is no ‘right’ way for someone to express their gender identity, including the amount of time one expresses a particular identity,” says Besser. Plus, those who have a bigender identity may express their multiple identities at the same time or separately.

Someone who is bigender may display that identity through dress and use of pronouns, explains Chinks, who also adds that “it is important to remember the fluid nature that can arise with being bigender, meaning that an individual may use one set of pronouns at one point in time or in one situation, and another at another point.”

Simply put, there’s no one set of pronouns that a bigender person typically uses. Instead of guessing based on appearance, your best bet is to ask someone which pronouns they prefer.

Signs that you might be bigender:

While the term is a relatively new way to express gender identity, there are certainly people who have had feelings of being bigender long before there was a word to describe it. The following list includes some (though certainly not all) of the ways you can experience being bigender, if you’re curious:

You move between two distinct ways of expressing yourself. This can be how you display emotionally, psychologically, physically, and/or spiritually, Leech says.
You experience gender dysphoria. Chinks explains the idea of gender dysphoria as the feeling that “the way I feel inside is not aligning with my outward or biologically-assigned gender.” The concept used to be strongly associated with someone who is transgender, Chinks adds, but in terms of the bigender identity, someone might be born male and be comfortable with that male identity, but also feel like there is a feminine side to their gender identity that needs to be honored, too.
You have feelings of gender euphoria. According to Besser, gender euphoria is “a feeling of joy, empowerment, and comfort when your gender identity and expression is affirmed.” For bigender individuals, this could be when you start to display two sides of your gender and it finally feels like something clicks for you.

How to support bigender loved ones and greater community:

No matter your personal gender identity, there are ways that you can do your part to make your communities more inclusive:

Don’t make assumptions. You may have a close friend or family member who is bigender, but that doesn’t mean you know what they’re going through at all times. Leech says that it’s important not to let previous experience or generalizations prevent you from “being curious, really learning about [the identity], and coming to understand the person in front of you and what they uniquely need.”
Ask questions. The best way to find out how you can support someone or what they need from you? Ask. Especially when it comes to which pronouns they prefer. This is much more respectful than assuming you know the answer, Chinks explains.
Learn more. It’s not on someone who is bigender to teach you everything about the identity. “Become an ally by doing your own education in order to avoid education burdening,” says Besser. There are plenty of resources online to get you started. (Like this comprehensive and expert-approved gender identity list on Women’s Health.)
State your pronouns. When you start a Zoom meeting by stating your pronouns or include them in your email signature, you are “opening the door” for those who are bigendered or non-binary to share theirs, Chinks explains. This, in turn, helps to normalize the idea that gender is a spectrum, a spectrum on which everyone is just trying to understand their place.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

September 24, 2022September 24, 2022

How to deal with nerves the first time you have same-sex sex

By Ellen Scott

Okay, so you’re pondering having sex with someone of the same gender for the first time.

Feeling nervous? Don’t panic – that’s totally normal.

‘Same-sex sex can feel daunting even if you’ve had plenty of “straight” sex before,’ sex and relationships expert Annabelle Knight tells Metro.co.uk. ‘The reason it feels so different is because… it is!

‘The idea of first time same-sex can feel scary because it’s an entirely new experience. Nerves are part and parcel of pushing yourself out of your usual space and into something new.’

There’s a lot of fear when trying anything new (including queer sex) that you’ll get stuff wrong, that you’ll be rubbish, that it’ll be embarrassing.

It’s all perfectly natural, but when the nerves are overwhelming, it’s time to tackle them.

So, how do we do that?

Reframe anxiety as excitement

You’re about to do something new – what if instead of viewing that as a scary thing, you see it as exciting?

‘Try to focus on the positives. As with lots of new experiences things can seem daunting, however if you re-package nerves as excitement then you’ll be able to build what’s known as “positive anticipation”, which will help you to really get the most out of the experience as a whole,’ Annabelle suggests.

Talk about it

You don’t need to pretend to be totally cool or act like you know what you’re doing. It’s actually pretty endearing to openly say that you’re a touch nervous.

‘We can combat nerves by opening up communication with our partner, or if you feel able to, telling them that you might be feeling a bit nervous,’ says Lelo’s sex and relationships expert Kate Moyle.

Redefine sex

You might still be holding on to a traditional definition of sex, viewing it only as penis in vagina penetration.

The reality is that sex can encompass all sorts of joyous things – stroking, licking, caressing…

And the thing is, if you’ve been in ‘straight’ sex setups before, you’ve likely played with all of these bits of sex. Remembering that makes same-sex sex feel a lot less scary.

‘Appreciate that there’s more to sex than penetration alone,’ Annabelle says. ‘This means that everything from kissing, cuddling and sensual massage can fall under the banner of sex.

‘Great sex is how you define it so don’t feel constrained by the idea that penetration = proper sex.’

Be playful

Hey, this is supposed to be fun.

‘Even if we haven’t had a sexual experience with someone of the same gender before, bodies are still sensual and sensitive – be creative and playful with your touch, which will help to build up arousal and desire,’ suggests Kate.

Bring in sex toys

Sex toys are not a necessity, but they can be a bonus – and can definitely help to relieve the pressure of delivering an orgasm with your hands and genitals alone.

Don’t feel pressured to orgasm every time

Not climaxing doesn’t mean you’ve ‘failed’. It’s the journey that counts, and every bit of sex can be a glorious experience – not just the orgasm.

Keep the communication going

‘Vocalise what you are feeling using positive encouragement,’ recommends Kate, ‘so letting them know what feel’s good for you.’

Embrace uncertainty

Annabelle adds: ‘To get the most out of your first same-sex experience make sure you’re in the right head space.

‘You don’t need to have everything figured out, nor do you need to put a label on yourself – instead embrace the fact that you’re ready to experiment and open yourself up to a different type of connection.’

Top tips for great first-time same-sex sex

Trim your nails

‘Long fingernails look great but can be a bit of a pain in the clit when it comes to same-sex experiences,’ notes Annabelle.

Lube

One thing Annabelle recommends for great same-sex sex? ‘Lube, lube, and more lube!’

‘Anal doesn’t just happen, she notes. ‘The anus isn’t self-lubricating and needs a lot of help in that department. A good quality water based lube is a fabulous all-rounder. It’s skin safe, toy safe, and condom safe too.’

Lube is great for vaginas, too, particularly if the woman you’re dating is going through menopause or has given birth (both of which can cause hormones to drop and dryness to occur).

Wetter is better, so feel free to lube liberally.

Stay safe

Pregnancy won’t be a risk during same-sex sex, but make sure you’re still protecting yourself from STIs. Condoms, dental dams – all necessary.

Oh, and ‘if you’re sharing sex toys make sure you give them a clean between uses,’ says Annabelle.

Explore different turn-on spots

‘For women and vulva owners the clitoris is the source of most sensitivity and sexual pleasure, and most women report orgasming via direct clitoral stimulation,’ Kate tells us. ‘But having said that, take your time to explore sensually and not just focusing on the areas of the body commonly associated with sex.

‘This build up gives the body a chance to sexually warm up and become aroused which is key to pleasure.’

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

August 4, 2022August 4, 2022

How to Be Human

— Talking to People Who Are Transgender or Nonbinary

Their gender isn’t your call to make

by The Healthline Editorial Team

Does language need to be collectively agreed upon before it’s actually offensive? What about subtler phrasings that unconsciously undermine people, specifically transgender and nonbinary people?

Ignoring what others identify themselves as can actually be alienating and sometimes traumatizing. The misuse of pronouns might seem innocent, but it also puts the speaker’s discomfort and values before the other person’s. In other words, it’s a form of discrimination and harmful to presume someone’s pronouns by looking at them.

Referring to people with terms or phrases that they don’t agree with — like “it’s just a phase” — is a destructive force that implies a sense of doubt, fantasy, or role-play.

Describing someone as a “former man” or “biological man” is demeaning. When you insist on using a former name an individual no longer uses, it symbolizes a preference for your own comfort and can be outright rude, if done intentionally.

In an article for Conscious Style Guide, Steve Bien-Aimé proclaims, “Common language usages should not trample over others who are different.” So why not use the words that have power to validate, acknowledge, and include?

Here at Healthline, we couldn’t agree more. Our most powerful tools on the editorial team are our words. We weigh the words of our content carefully, scanning for issues that could hurt, exclude, or invalidate other human experiences. It’s why we use “they” instead of “he or she” and why we distinguish between gender and sex.

Gender and sex are separate matters. Sex is a word that refers to a person’s biology, including chromosomes, hormones, and organs (and when you take a closer look, it becomes clear that sex isn’t binary, either).

Gender (or gender identity) is the state of being a man, woman, both, neither, or other gender altogether. Gender also includes the roles and expectations society assigns to each person based on their “maleness” or “femaleness.” These expectations can become so ingrained that we may not even recognize when or how we reinforce them.

Gender evolves over time and culture. There was (not too long ago) a time when it was socially unacceptable for women to wear pants. Many of us look back on that now and wonder how it was that way for so long.

Just as we created the space for changes in clothing (which is gender expression) for women, we are learning more space needs to be created in language to affirm and account for the experiences and feelings of transgender people.

Despite being such small words, pronouns hold a lot of significance when it comes to identity. She, he, they — it’s not a matter of grammar. (The Associated Press updated their style guidelines for 2017, allowing for the singular use of “they.”) We use “they” all the time in reference to singular people — just in the introduction above, we used it four times.

If you meet someone new and they haven’t made it clear which pronouns they use, ask. The more we do this as a society, the more natural it’ll become, like asking “How are you?” And honestly, it’ll save you more awkwardness down the line. A simple, “Hey Jay, how do you like to be referred to? What pronouns do you use?” will suffice.

So, whether it’s he, she, they, or something else: When someone lets you know their pronouns, accept them. Using the wrong pronouns (or misgendering) is a sign that you don’t believe someone knows who they are better than you do. It can also be a form of harassment when done intentionally.

Don’t say this: “She’s a former woman who now goes by Michael.”

Say this instead: “That’s Michael. He tells amazing stories! You should meet him sometime.”

It’s unfortunately not uncommon for trans people to still be referred to by their given (as opposed to affirmed) names. This is called deadnaming, and it’s an act of disrespect that can be easily avoided by simply asking, “How do you like to be referred to?”

Many trans people put a lot of time, emotion, and energy into the name they use and it should be respected. The use of any other name can be harmful and should be avoided whenever possible.

A full summary of a transgender person’s gender history and anatomy are usually completely irrelevant. So, when you talk about or with a person, be careful to not prioritize your curiosities. Stick to topics that are relevant to why the person came to see you.

Don’t say this: “Dr. Cyril Brown, named Jessica Brown at birth, made a pivotal discovery in the journey toward curing cancer.”

Say this instead: “Thanks to Dr. Cyril Brown, an amazing scientist, we may now be one step closer to curing cancer.”

Curiosity is a valid feeling, but acting on it isn’t your job. It’s also disrespectful to many trans people. While you may be curious about the details of a person’s gender, body, and anatomy, understand that you don’t have a right to that information. Just like you don’t owe an explanation about your past life, they don’t owe you one, either.

When you meet most other people, you probably don’t inquire about the state of their genitals or their medication regimen. That personal health information is personal, and being trans doesn’t take away that right to privacy.

If you want to understand their experience better, do some research of your own into the different options available to people who identify as transgender, nonbinary or gender nonconforming. But don’t ask an individual about their specific journey unless they’ve given you permission.

Don’t say this: “So, are you ever going to have, you know, the surgery?”

Say this instead: “Hey, what are you up to this weekend?”

To be gender inclusive is to be open to all gender identities and gender expressions in a discussion.

For example, an article may come across our desk that reads “women” when it really means “people who can become pregnant.” For transgender men, menstruation and pregnancy may still be very real issues they experience. Describing the entire group of ovulating people as “women” excludes the experience of some trans men (and women who deal with infertility, but that’s another article).

Words like “real,” “regular,” and “normal” can also be excluding. Comparing trans women against so-called “real” women separates them from their identity and continues the incorrect idea that gender is biological.

Using precise, descriptive language rather than gender buckets isn’t only more inclusive, it’s just clearer.

Don’t say this: “Women and transgender women showed up in huge numbers at the rally.”

Say this instead: “Lots of women showed up at the rally in record numbers.”

Remember, you’re speaking about another person. Another human being. Before you open your mouth, think about what details may be unnecessary, diminish their humanity, or result from your own discomfort.

For example, it’s important to acknowledge that this person is — you guessed it — a person. Referring to members of the trans community as “transgenders” denies their humanity. It’s just like how you wouldn’t say “he’s a black.”

They’re people, and being transgender is just a part of that. Terms like “transgender people” and “the transgender community” are more appropriate. Likewise, many trans people dislike the term “transgendered,” as if trans-ness was something that happened to them.

Rather than coming up with new or shorthand ways to describe trans people, just call them trans people. This way, you avoid accidentally stumbling onto an offensive slur.

Note that even if one person identifies with a term or slur, it doesn’t mean everyone does. It doesn’t make it OK for you to use that term for all the other trans people you meet.

And in most instances, being trans isn’t relevant when interacting with people. Other details that probably aren’t necessary to question are whether the person is “pre-op” or “post-op” and how long ago they started transitioning.

You don’t talk about cis people’s bodies when you introduce them, so extend the same courtesy to trans people.

Don’t say this: “We met a transgender at the bar last night.”

Say this instead: “We met this awesome dancer at the bar last night.”

Navigating new territory can be difficult, we get it. And while these guidelines may be helpful, they’re also just guidelines. People are diverse, and one size will never fit all — especially when it comes to self-reference.

As humans, we’re bound to mess up at some point. Even good intentions may not land appropriately.

How one person feels respected may be different from how another person feels respected. If you flub up, politely correct your mistake and move forward. The important part is to remember to focus on the other’s feelings — not your own.

Don’t say this: “I’m sorry, but it’s just so hard for me to call you Jimmy after I’ve known you as Justine for so long! I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it.”

Say this instead: “Hey Just— sorry, Jimmy, do you want to come with us to dinner Friday?”

If you think someone is trans, don’t ask. It doesn’t matter. They’ll tell you if it ever becomes relevant and if they feel comfortable sharing that information with you.

If someone is trans or nonbinary, or if you’re just not sure, it doesn’t hurt to ask how you should address them. Asking shows respect and that you want to validate their identity.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

June 26, 2022June 26, 2022

Pride 2022

Happy Gay Pride Month!

It’s time, once again, to post my annual pride posting.

In my lifetime I’ve witnessed a most remarkable change in societal attitudes toward those of us on the sexual fringe. One only needs to go back 50 years in time. I was 17 years old then and I knew I was queer. When I looked out on the world around me this is what I saw. Homosexuality was deemed a mental disorder by the nation’s psychiatric authorities, and gay sex was a crime in every state but Illinois. Federal workers could be fired merely for being gay.

Today, gays and trans folks serve openly in the military, work as TV news anchors and federal judges, win elections as big-city mayors and members of Congress. Popular TV shows have gay and trans protagonists.

Six years ago this month, a Supreme Court ruling lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage throughout the whole country.

The transition over five decades has been far from smooth — replete with bitter protests, anti-gay violence, backlashes that inflicted many political setbacks, and AIDS. Unlike the civil rights movement and the women’s liberation movement, the campaign for gay rights unfolded without household-name leaders.

And yet some still experience a backlash in the dominant culture. I don’t relish the idea, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it. And while we endure this be reminded that it won’t smart nearly as much if we know our history. And we should also remember the immortal words of Martin Luther King, Jr. “The moral arc of the universe bends at the elbow of justice.”

In honor of gay pride month, a little sex history lesson — The Stonewall Riots

The confrontations between demonstrators and police at The Stonewall Inn, a mafia owned bar in Greenwich Village NYC over the weekend of June 27-29, 1969 are usually cited as the beginning of the modern Lesbian/Gay liberation Movement. What might have been just another routine police raid on a bar patronized by homosexuals became the pivotal event that sparked the entire modern gay rights movement.

The Stonewall riots are now the stuff of myth. Many of the most commonly held beliefs are probably untrue. But here’s what we know for sure.

In 1969, it was illegal to operate any business catering to homosexuals in New York City — as it still is today in many places in the world. The standard procedure was for New York City’s finest to raid these establishments on a regular basis. They’d arrest a few of the most obvious ‘types’ harass the others and shake down the owners for money, then they’d let the bar open as usual by the next day.

Myth has it that the majority of the patrons at the Stonewall Inn were black and Hispanic drag queens. Actually, most of the patrons were probably young, college-age white guys lookin for a thrill and an evening out of the closet, along with the usual cadre of drag queens and hustlers. It was reasonably safe to socialize at the Stonewall Inn for them, because when it was raided the drag queens and bull-dykes were far more likely to be arrested then they were.

After midnight June 27-28, 1969, the New York Tactical Police Force called a raid on The Stonewall Inn at 55 Christopher Street in NYC. Many of the patrons who escaped the raid stood around to witness the police herding the “usual suspects” into the waiting paddywagons. There had recently been several scuffles where similar groups of people resisted arrest in both Los Angeles and New York.

Stonewall was unique because it was the first time gay people, as a group, realized that what threatened drag queens and bull-dykes threatened them all.

Many of the onlookers who took on the police that night weren’t even homosexual. Greenwich Village was home to many left-leaning young people who had cut their political teeth in the civil rights, anti-war and women’s lib movements.

As people tied to stop the arrests, the mêlée erupted. The police barricaded themselves inside the bar. The crowd outside attempted to burn it down. Eventually, police reinforcements arrived to disperse the crowd. But this just shattered the protesters into smaller groups that continued to mill around the streets of the village.

A larger crowd assembled outside the Stonewall the following night. This time young gay men and women came to protest the raids that were commonplace in the city. They held hands, kissed and formed a mock chorus line singing; “We are the Stonewall Girls/We wear our hair in curls/We have no underwear/We show our pubic hair.” Don’t ‘cha just love it?

Police successfully dispersed this group without incident. But the print media picked up the story. Articles appeared in the NY Post, Daily News and The Village Voice. Theses helped galvanize the community to rally and fight back.

Within a few days, representatives of the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis (two of the country’s first homophile rights groups) organized the city’s first ever “Gay Power” rally in Washington Square. Some give hundred protesters showed up; many of them gay and lesbians.

The riots led to calls for homosexual liberation. Fliers appeared with the message: “Do you think homosexuals are revolting? You bet your sweet ass we are!” And the rest, boys and girls, is as they say is history.

During the first year after Stonewall, a whole new generation of organizations emerged, many identifying themselves for the first time as “Gay.” This not only denoted sexual orientation, but a radical way to self-identify with a growing sense of open political activism. Older, more staid homophile groups soon began to make way for the more militant groups like the Gay Liberation Front.

The vast majority of these new activists were under thirty; dr dick’s generation, don’t cha know. We were new to political organizing and didn’t know that this was as ground-breaking as it was. Many groups formed on colleges campuses and in big cities around the world.

By the following summer, 1970, groups in at least eight American cities staged simultaneous events commemorating the Stonewall riots on the last Sunday in June. The events varied from a highly political march of three to five thousand in New York to a parade with floats for 1200 in Los Angeles. Seven thousand showed up in San Francisco.

June 25, 2022June 25, 2022

‘Parental rights’ lobby puts trans and queer kids at risk

By Jen Gilbert & Victoria Rawlings

The political right’s current strategy for fighting against LGBTQ+ equality is to frame discussions about sexuality and gender in school as an infringement on parents’ rights.

In 2020, far-right Australian MP Mark Latham introduced a “Parental Rights” bill. The bill would have prohibited teachers from addressing any topic that veered close to “core values” without parental consent — including LGBTQ+ gender and sexuality.

While psychology experts concerned with well-being and the New South Wales Government have now rejected the bill, the focus on parental rights isn’t limited to Australia.

Parents, as a group, represent diverse concerns. The group includes LGBTQ+ parents, parents of queer and trans children and young people, pregnant and parenting teens and politically progressive activist parents — and all of the above have diverse educational, religious, economic, racialized and political experiences. However, the conservative description of parents often neglects this reality.

Two fathers seen with their daughter on a couch. — LGBTQ+ parents are somehow left out of parent rights’ lobbying.

Rise of ‘parental rights’ campaigns

In the United States, the now infamous parental rights law in Florida, widely known as “Don’t say Gay,” restricts conversations about sexuality and gender in primary school.

And in 2015, conservatives framed a controversy about a new, progressive sex education curriculum in Ontario, Canada, as an attack on parents’ rights.

In this conflict over gender, sexuality and schooling, conservatives invoke parental rights, and implicitly position these as superseding young people’s right to access information about their health and well-being.

As American journalist Judith Levine argues, the elevation of parents’ rights can be tied to U.S. Reagan-era policies. These policies sought to salvage the nuclear family, in part by attacking public education and the expansion of rights for sexual and gender minorities.

The 2021 foreword to Lantham’s proposed bill, when it was sent to committee for review and inquiry, articulated the view that a “positive view of family life is under challenge”, due to school-based discussions of gender and sexuality.

A sign at a rally with a rainbow is seen that says some parents are their child's first bully. — For queer and trans teens, positive family life needs to reject homophobia and transphobia.

Problems with ‘health outcomes’ approach

In a broader context of controversies over sexuality and gender in schools, some policymakers focus on the important health outcomes for young people who have comprehensive, medically accurate information about sexuality and gender.

Sociologists Steven Epstein and Laura Mamo call this approach “healthism”. They argue the language of health contains or cancels “the stigma that so often adheres to sexuality and extinguish[es] the flames of political and moral controversy”.

But the work of queer theorists like Eve Sedgwick reveal problems with “healthist” approaches to sex education in schools. Sedgwick’s warning from 1993 remains eerily prescient:

“[…] this society wants its children to know nothing; it wants its queer [and trans] children to conform (and this is not a figure of speech) or die; and wants not to know that it is getting what it wants.”

Sedgwick warns it would be naive to believe that there is broad support for protecting the health and well-being of young people when their needs and questions challenge dominant modern norms and values embedded in our institutions.

Recent conversations about trans youth’s access to health care that would support and affirm their gender expose the ways health-care systems — despite their supposed neutrality — are shaped by transphobia.

Trans historian Jules Gill-Peterson writes about how “the foundation of the transgender healthcare we inherit today was deliberately designed to stop trans people from transitioning in most cases”.

Trans youth framed as threat

Conservative parents and politicians who invoke parental rights are not persuaded by arguments that access to information and support is necessary for young people’s health and well-being.

A sign at a rally seen that says transgender chlidren are not political pawns. — Right-wing advocacy has framed trans youth as as a threat to their straight and cisgender peers.

In their view, young people aren’t being educated, they are being “groomed” and conversations about gender identity and sexuality are themselves abusive.

LGBTQ+ youth, and trans youth in particular, perversely become framed as a threat to their straight and cisgender peers.

Conservatives insist that knowledge about diverse genders and sexualities introduce faddish ideas about gender and sexuality that contaminate the innocence of their children.

This logic reaches its dangerous conclusion in laws that would restrict trans youth from accessing health care that affirms their gender. In Texas, the state has been investigating parents who secure gender-affirming health care for their children as potential child abusers. This legal sanctioning of transphobia denies trans existence and sanctions discrimination and violence that can have lethal consequences for trans people.

Rethinking parental rights

Shouldn’t “parental rights” extend to the parents of trans and non-binary young people and their responsibility to protect their children’s health and well-being? Shouldn’t trans and queer parents also expect schools to provide safe learning environments for their children?

Australian research has shown the vast majority of parents support explicit teaching and learning about gender and sexuality diversity. With a sample of more than 2000 parents across Australian government (public) schools, more than 80% of respondents indicated they supported gender and sexuality diversity inclusion as part of the relationships and sexual health curriculum from kindergarten through to year 12. In Canada as well, there is widespread and well-established support from parents for LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools and sex education.

This isn’t to suggest that there aren’t debates about the nature and scope of LGBTQ+ inclusion in schools. Both these aforementioned Australian and Canadian studies point to differences based on region, topics addressed and grade level.

However, the parents represented in these studies are more diverse and less conservative than right-wing advocates of parental rights. Parents who want to see LGBTQ+ students, teachers and families supported and affirmed in schools need to speak up against right-wing framings of parental rights.

We can start by recognizing and supporting the parental rights of parents who are doing their best to love and support their trans and queer children in a hostile political climate.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

June 6, 2022June 5, 2022

Words matter

— Terms, pronouns and vocabulary to add to your everyday dictionary

By Sharla Brown-Ajayi

The glossary listed below is a list of terms used within the LGBTQIA community. This list is not completely comprehensive, as language is constantly evolving and new terms and identities are always forming. It is important to mirror the language someone uses to describe themselves to affirm their identity. When in doubt about a word, just ask!

advocate – ( verb) to actively support a particular cause, the action of working to end intolerance or educate others

agender – ( adj. ) a person with no (or very little) connection to the traditional system of gender, no personal alignment with the concepts of either man or woman, and/or someone who sees themselves as existing without gender. Sometimes called gender neutrois, gender neutral, or genderless.

androgyny/androgynous – ( noun ) a gender expression that has elements of both masculinity and femininity

aromantic – ( adj. ) experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behavior. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions. Sometimes abbreviated to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”).

asexual – ( adj. ) : experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual relationships/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only under specific conditions. Sometimes abbreviated to “ace.”. For more information, click here.

bigender – ( adj ) a person who fluctuates between traditionally “woman” and “man” gender-based behavior and identities, identifying with both genders (or sometimes identifying with either man or woman, as well as a third, different gender).

binder – ( noun ) an undergarment used to alter or reduce the appearance of one’s breasts. Binding is often used to change the way other’s read/perceive one’s anatomical sex characteristics, and/or as a form of gender expression.

biological sex – ( noun ) a medical term used to refer to the chromosomal, hormonal and anatomical characteristics that are used to classify an individual as female, male, or intersex. Often referred to as simply “sex,” “physical sex,” “anatomical sex,” or specifically as “sex assigned at birth.”

biphobia – ( noun ) a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, invisibility, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have or express toward bisexual individuals. Biphobia can come from and be seen within the LGBTQ community as well as straight society.

bisexual – 1 ( adj. ) a person who experiences attraction to men and women. 2 ( adj. ) a person who experiences attraction to people of their gender and another gender. Bisexual attraction does not have to be equally split, or indicate a level of interest that is the same across the genders an individual may be attracted to. For more information, click here.

chosen name – ( noun ) a name that an individual chooses to be called that is different than their legal name. The term “chosen name” is usually favored over “preferred name” since preferred name may imply the name is just a preference, rather than a matter of identity.

cisgender – ( adj. ) a gender description for when someone’s sex assigned at birth and gender identity correspond (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, and identifies as a man). The word cisgender can also be shortened to “cis.”

cisnormativity – ( noun ) the assumption, in individuals and in institutions, that everyone is cisgender, and that cisgender identities are superior to transgender identities and people. Leads to invisibility of transgender or gender non-confomring identities.

closeted – ( adj. ) an individual who is not open to themselves or others about their (queer) sexuality or gender identity.

coming in – ( verb ) the process by which one accepts and/or comes to identify one’s own sexuality or gender identity (to “come in” to oneself).

coming out – ( verb ) the process by which one shares one’s sexuality or gender identity with others.

constellation – ( noun ) a way to describe the arrangement or structure of a polyamorous relationship.

dead name – ( noun ) the name given at birth/legal name of someone who has since changed their name or goes by a different name.

demiromantic – ( adj. ) little or no capacity to experience romantic attraction until a strong connection is formed with someone, often within a sexual relationship.

demisexual – ( adj. ) little or no capacity to experience sexual attraction until a strong connection is formed with someone, often within a romantic relationship.

drag king – ( noun ) someone who performs (hyper-) masculinity theatrically.

drag queen – ( noun ) someone who performs (hyper-) femininity theatrically.

emotional attraction – ( noun ) a capacity that evokes want to engage in emotionally intimate behavior (e.g., sharing, confiding, trusting, inter-depending), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

fluid(ity) – ( adj. ) generally with another term attached, like gender-fluid or fluid-sexuality, fluid(ity) describes an identity that may change or shift over time between or within the mix of the options available.

folx – ( noun ) a gender neutral term used to address a group

gay – 1 ( adj. ) experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to some members of the same gender. Can be used to refer to men who are attracted to other men and women who are attracted to women. 2 ( adj. ) an umbrella term used to refer to the queer community as a whole, or as an individual identity label for anyone who is not straight.

gender binary – ( noun ) the idea that there are only two genders, man and woman.

gender confirmation surgery (GCS) – ( noun ) used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s biological sex. “Gender confirmation surgery” is considered by many to be a more affirming term than gender reassignment surgery.

gender expression – ( noun ) the external display of one’s gender, through a combination of clothing, grooming, demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally made sense of on scales of masculinity, femininity, or another gender. Also referred to as “gender presentation.”

gender fluid – ( adj. ) a gender identity best described as a dynamic mix of multiple genders. A person who is gender fluid may feel like a mix of man or woman or another gender, but may feel more one gender on certain days.

gender identity – ( noun ) the internal perception of one’s gender, and how they label themselves, based on how much they align or don’t align with what they understand their options for gender to be.

gender non-conforming – 1 ( adj. ) a gender expression descriptor that indicates a non-traditional gender presentation (masculine woman or feminine man). 2 ( adj. ) a gender identity label that indicates a person who identifies outside of the gender binary. Often abbreviated as “GNC.”

gender normative – ( adj. ) someone whose gender presentation or gender identity aligns with society’s gender-based expectations.

genderqueer – 1 ( adj. ) a gender identity label often used by people who do not identify with the binary of man/woman. 2 ( adj. ) an umbrella term for many gender non-conforming or non-binary identities (e.g., agender, bigender, genderfluid).

gender variant – ( adj. ) someone who does not conform to gender-based expectations of society.

heteronormativity – ( noun ) the assumption, in individuals and/or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. Leads to invisibility and stigmatizing of other sexualities. Heteronormativity also leads us to assume that only masculine men and feminine women are straight.

heterosexual – ( adj. ) experiencing attraction solely (or primarily) to people of a different gender.

homophobia – ( noun ) an umbrella term for a range of negative attitudes (e.g., fear, anger, intolerance, resentment, erasure, or discomfort) that one may have toward LGBTQ people. The term can also connote a fear, disgust, or dislike of being perceived as LGBTQ.

homosexual – ( adj. ) a person primarily attracted to members of the same sex/gender. This historically medical term is considered stigmatizing (particularly as a noun) due to its history as a category of mental illness, and is discouraged for common use.

intersectionality – ( noun ) a term coined by Kimberle Crenshaw referring to the ways that systems of oppression are connected and overlapping

intersex – ( adj. ) term for a combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from the patterns of male or female. Formerly known as hermaphrodite (or hermaphroditic), but these terms are now outdated and derogatory.

lesbian – ( adj. ) women who are primarily attracted to other women.

MSM / WSW – ( abbr. ) men who have sex with men or women who have sex with women, to distinguish sexual behaviors from sexual identities: because a man is straight, it doesn’t mean he’s not having sex with men. Often used in the field of HIV/Aids education, prevention, and treatment.

Mx. – ( noun ) an honorific (e.g. Mr., Ms., Mrs., etc.) that is gender neutral. It is often the option of choice for folks who do not identify within the gender binary

outing – ( verb ) involuntary or unwanted disclosure of another person’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status.

pansexual – ( adj. ) a person who experiences attraction for members of all gender identities/expressions. Often shortened to “pan.”

passing – 1 ( adj. & verb ) transgender individuals being accepted as, or able to “pass for,” a member of their self-identified gender identity (regardless of sex assigned at birth) without being identified as transgender. 2 ( adj. ) an LGB/queer individual who is believed to be or perceived as straight.

preferred pronouns – ( noun ) often used during introductions, becoming more common as a standard practice. Many suggest removing the “preferred,” because it indicates flexibility and/or the power for the speaker to decide which pronouns to use for someone else.

polyamorous – ( noun ) refers to the practice of, desire for, or orientation toward having ethical, honest, and consensual non-monogamous relationships (i.e. relationships that may include multiple partners). Often shortened to “poly.”

queer – 1 ( adj. ) an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender. 2 ( noun ) a slur used to refer to someone who isn’t straight and/or cisgender. Due to its historical use as a derogatory term, and how it is still used as a slur many communities, it is not embraced or used by all members of the LGBTQ community. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ (e.g., “queer people” instead of “LGBTQ people”).

questioning – ( adj. ) an individual who or a time when someone is unsure about or exploring their own sexual orientation or gender identity.

QPOC / QTPOC – initialisms that stand for queer people of color and queer and/or trans people of color.

romantic attraction – ( noun ) a capacity that evokes want to engage in romantic intimate behavior (e.g., dating, relationships, marriage), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

sex assigned at birth (SAAB) – ( abbr. ) a phrase used to intentionally recognize a person’s assigned sex (not gender identity). Sometimes called “designated sex at birth” (DSAB) or “sex coercively assigned at birth” (SCAB), or specifically used as “assigned male at birth” (AMAB) or “assigned female at birth” (AFAB)

sexual attraction – ( noun ) a capacity that evokes want to engage in physically intimate behavior (e.g., kissing, touching, intercourse), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with romantic attraction, emotional attraction, and/or spiritual attraction.

sexual orientation – ( noun ) the type of sexual, romantic, emotional/spiritual attraction one has the capacity to feel for some others, generally labeled based on the gender relationship between the person and the people they are attracted to.

skoliosexual – ( adj. ) being primarily attracted to some genderqueer, transgender, and/or non-binary people.

spiritual attraction – ( noun ) a capacity that evokes the want to engage in intimate behavior based on one’s experience with, interpretation of, or belief in the supernatural (e.g., religious teachings, messages from a deity), experienced in varying degrees (from little-to-none, to intense). Often conflated with sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and/or emotional attraction.

stealth – ( adj. ) a transgender person who is not “out” as transgender, and is perceived/known by others as cisgender.

straight – ( adj. ) a person primarily attracted to people who are not their same sex/gender.

third gender – ( noun ) a gender category that is used by societies that recognise three or more genders. A conceptual term meaning different things to different people who use it, as a way to move beyond the gender binary.

top surgery – ( noun ) this term refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest or breast augmentation for a female-type chest.

transgender – ( adj. ) an umbrella term for anyone whose sex assigned at birth and gender identity do not correspond (e.g., someone who was assigned male at birth, but does not identify as a man).

transitioning – ( verb ) the process of a transgender person changing aspects of themself (e.g., their appearance, name, pronouns, or making physical changes to their body) to be more congruent with their gender identity

transphobia – ( noun ) the fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of people who are transgender, the transgender community, or gender ambiguity. Transphobia can be seen within the queer community, as well as in general society.;

two-spirit – ( noun ) a term within Native American communities to recognize individuals who possess qualities or fulfill roles of both genders. This term is often conflated with sexuality, but was historically about gender identity.

ze / zir – ( pronoun ) pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some transgender people. They replace “he” and “she” and “his” and “hers” respectively.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

June 4, 2022June 3, 2022

Biological Science Rejects the Sex Binary, and That’s Good for Humanity

Evidence from various sciences reveals that there are diverse ways of being male, female, or both. An anthropologist argues that embracing these truths will help humans flourish.

Despite myths of “pink” brains and “blue” brains, human brains are mosaics of what have stereotypically been characterized as male and female traits.

By Agustín Fuentes

At the recent U.S. Supreme Court confirmation hearings for Ketanji Brown Jackson, Sen. Marsha Blackburn triggered controversy when she asked Jackson to define the word “woman.” After Jackson declined, several Republican congresspeople chimed in with definitions for “woman” that ranged from dubious to shocking, including “the weaker sex,” “someone who has a uterus,” and “X chromosomes, no tallywhacker.”

Such notions haven’t evolved much since 1871, when naturalist Charles Darwin told the world that “man is more courageous, pugnacious, and energetic than women, and has more inventive genius.” Most 19th- and 20th-century evolutionary theories (and theorists) asserted that evolution created two kinds of creatures—male and female—and individuals’ behavior and nature reflected this biological binary.

Today a chorus of scientific-sounding claims about “blue and pink” brains, testosterone, and male primate aggression are offered up as natural explanations for masculine and feminine behavior, along with gaps in pay, jobs, political and economic leadership, and sexuality. In the political and legal realms, the belief that biology creates two types of humans is invoked in a range of attempts to mandate and enforce how humans should behave.

These assertions and beliefs are wrong. In addition, the commitment to a simple binary view creates a fictitious template for a “battle of the sexes” that manifests in miseducation about basic biology, the denigration of women’s rights, the justifications of incel and “men’s rights” violence, and the creation of anti-transgender laws.

Science points to a more accurate and hopeful way to understand the biology of sex. By recognizing the true diversity of the human experience, humanity can embrace an expansive and multifaceted way of envisioning and experiencing human nature. This evidence-based outlook is not only far more interesting than the simplistic and incorrect “tallywhacker versus no tallywhacker” perspective, but also more conducive to respect and flourishing.

Starting at the most basic level of animal biology, there are multitudes of ways to be female or male or both. The oceans are filled with species of fish that change from one sex to another midlife, and some who change back again. There are invertebrate hermaphrodites and ladies-only lizards who reproduce by recombining their own chromosomes. In some mammals, females are brimming with testosterone and have large “penises.” In various fish and mammals, males do all the caretaking of infants. And in a variety of species, females are authoritarian, promiscuous, and—yes, Darwin—pugnacious.

Of course, there are patterned differences between females and males in many species. But there is far more diversity, complexity, and collaboration than most people realize. When one looks closer at the biology of sex in animals, including humans, it is clear that Darwin, biologist E.O. Wilson, geneticist Angus Bateman, and various Republican politicians are minimally way off base and mostly flat out wrong.

Man/woman and masculine/feminine are neither biological terms nor rooted exclusively in biology.

Sex, biologically, is not simply defined or uniformly enacted. In humans, having two X chromosomes or an X and a Y chromosome does not create binary bodies, destinies, or lives. If we could crawl into the womb with a fetus at about six to eight weeks of age, we’d see a few clusters of cells in the emerging body get nudges by DNA activity and start to generate new organs, including the clitoris and penis, labia and scrotum, ovaries and testes. All genitals are made from the exact same stuff. Since they have a few differing end functions, their final form is different. But there is a lot of overlap.

In fact, of the 140 million babies born last year, at least 280,000 did not fit into a clear penis versus labia model of sex determination. Genitals, hormone levels, and chromosomes are not reliable determinants of sex. There are, for example, people with XY chromosomes who have female characteristics, people with ambiguous genitalia, and women with testosterone levels outside the typical “female” range.

Biologically, there is no simple dichotomy between female and male. As I demonstrate in my book Race, Monogamy, and Other Lies They Told You, brains are no more “sexed” at birth than are kidneys and livers. Rather, brains are “mosaics” of characteristically female and male features.

Of course, there are clear bodily differences in capacities to give birth and lactate, and ranges of patterns in the development and distribution of body size, strength, and myriad other processes. But such patterns are mostly overlapping, and only a few are distributed in clear or functional dichotomies. Numerous studies have found that the differences between adult men and women are overhyped and largely influenced by the dynamics of biology and culture. Humans are naturenurtural—a fusion of nature and nurture.

For example, many explanations for differences between males and females rest on assumptions about the disparate evolved costs of reproduction between them. But human reproduction is more complex than two individuals having sex, then the female giving birth and taking care of the offspring. While today it is common in many societies for women to raise children on their own or with a male (who often does not contribute equally to child-rearing), this setup developed very recently in human history.

More than a million years ago, humans developed collaborative child care involving female and male relatives, as well as adults and children in the community.

There is massive evidence that the genus Homo (humans) evolved complex cooperative caretaking more than a million years ago, changing the patterns and pressures of our evolution. Such “alloparenting” practices are still widespread among many human groups, in which mothers and fathers, grandparents, other female and male relatives, and boys and girls in the community all help feed, teach, and care for children. This complex overlap in social and reproductive roles is exciting and hopeful. When it comes to raising kids, humans don’t come in two kinds. Rather, we evolved to be a collaborative and creative community.

The data-driven bottom line is that “man/woman” and “masculine/feminine” are neither biological terms nor rooted exclusively in biology. The lack of an explicit binary is especially evident in humans given the complex neurobiologies, life histories, and morphological dynamics in our species. There are many successful, biologically diverse ways to be human, and millions of people embody this diversity. Growing up human means growing up in a world of varying gender expectations, body types, reproductive options, family structures, and sexual orientations.

So, instead of listening to people who are misogynistic, sexist, or homo/transphobic; incels; or politicians who base their ideologies on a biological sex binary and myths about its evolution, we can and should be open to a serious understanding of biology and its better options for human flourishing. The simple male/female binary does not effectively express the normal range of being human. Understanding this and incorporating it into our education, lives, and laws offers better possibilities, greater equity, and more joy for human society.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

May 26, 2022May 26, 2022

Gender Transitioning in the Workplace

— An Employer’s Guide

As workplace protections expand for the LGBTQ+ community, transgender and non-binary employees may feel more comfortable being their authentic self at work. As a result, you should be prepared to work with transitioning employees. Consider developing a plan with your human resources department to educate the workforce and foster an inclusive work environment by creating policies that prohibit discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression, allow for employee self-identification, address access to bathroom facilities, and make dress codes gender neutral. What should you know if an employee in your workplace is transitioning?

Understand the Meaning of ‘Transgender’

An important first step for employers is to understand what “transgender” means. “Transgender” is a broad term that may apply to a range of gender-nonconforming people. In general, a transgenderperson is someone whose gender identity or gender expression is different than their sex assigned at birth, and they may identify as male, female, or some combination of both or neither. Many people who consider themselves transgender do not undergo gender-affirmation surgery.

Additionally, while many transgender people do identify as male or female, some do not. They may refer to themselves as non-binary or prefer other terms to describe their gender identity, such as gender fluid, genderqueer, agender, or bigender.

A person’s sexuality and gender identity are separate statuses, and transgender people may identify as straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, or another sexual orientation. In order to foster an inclusive environment, and avoid potential claims, it is important to avoid making assumptions about anyone’s sexuality based on their gender identity.

Review the Evolving Legal Landscape

While some states have provided employment protections for LGBTQ+ workers for years, the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark 2020 decision in Bostock v. Clayton County changed the legal landscape nationwide.

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employers from discriminating against employees based on color, national origin, race, religion, or sex. In the Bostock case, the SCOTUS held that workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity is unlawful “sex” discrimination under Title VII. This means employers cannot lawfully make employment decisions – such as hiring, firing, promoting, or disciplining employees – based on a job applicant’s or employee’s LGBTQ+ identification.

The Supreme Court found that “it is impossible to discriminate against a person for being homosexual or transgender without discriminating against that individual based on sex.”

The Court provided a workplace example to illustrate its point: An employer fired a woman because she is insufficiently feminine and also fired a man for being insufficiently masculine. Even if the employer treated them equally, it fired each worker because of their sex. “Instead of avoiding Title VII exposure, this employer doubles it,” according to the Court.

You should also review guidelines from the Equal Opportunity Commission (EEOC) – the federal agency that enforces Title VII – on sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination in the workplace. The EEOC updated its guidance in 2021 in light of the Bostock ruling.

Be sure to also review state and local laws, which may provide additional rights to LGBTQ+ employees in the jurisdictions where they work.

Prepare a Transition Plan

If you are approached by a transitioning employee or otherwise become aware of an employee transitioning, you should consider developing a detailed plan that broadly focuses on three areas: communication, education, and accommodation.

At the outset, the plan should designate one or more specific points of contact, so that employees — both those transitioning and their coworkers — know to who to call with concerns and questions.

Consider the following three points as you develop your plan:

Communication is Key You should create an inclusive and understanding environment to convey to your employees your acceptance and understanding. This includes distributing a written open-door policy for employees who wish to speak with management or human resources. If you invite employees with special circumstances to speak directly with someone in leadership, you may have a chance to respond to concerns before they escalate.Once you learn that an employee plans to transition, you should engage in an open dialogue with that individual. Encourage the employee to self-identify their pronouns and make name or pronoun changes easily accessible.You should also work with the employee to determine their anticipated timetable for the transition process. Discuss when and how the employee wants coworkers to become aware of the transition and when the employee wishes to switch names and use of pronouns. You should also review your dress and appearance policies, make them gender neutral by removing any standards based on gender stereotypes (such as requiring women to wear dresses and men to wear trousers), and allow transgender workers to follow standards that align with their gender identity and expression.All employees should be permitted to use bathrooms and locker rooms that correspond to their gender identity. Anyone who is uncomfortable sharing restroom facilities with other employees for any reason should be welcome to use single-person, all-gender facilities, if available. If single-person facilities are not available, you should consult your HR department and legal counsel to balance all considerations in a fair and non-discriminatory manner.Remember that coworker complaints or personal opinions do not supersede a transitioning employee’s rights to express their gender identity and to be free from discrimination and harassment for doing so.
Educate Your Workforce Once those matters are addressed, you should educate your workforce and encourage an environment of tolerance and mutual respect. As part of the education process, make sure all employees know that they should use the transitioning employee’s new name, if applicable, and use the appropriate pronouns for the employee’s gender identity.One common issue many transgender people experience is misgendering, and if done intentionally over time could create potential for hostile work environment. A simple way to demonstrate inclusivity is to encourage all employees to specify their pronouns of choice on company email signatures or other personal identifying communication.Education is a key part of the plan. Open forums may encourage the respectful exchange of concerns and suggested approaches. If a transitioning employee reports any incidents of perceived harassment or discrimination, you should take immediate steps to investigate those concerns and remediate any confirmed instances of unlawful discrimination.
Explore Reasonable Accommodations Finally, when possible, you should consider requests for reasonable accommodations from transitioning employee, such as flexibility or time off for doctor’s visits or to address the side effects of hormonal changes or gender reassignment surgery. Sometimes an accommodation has a minimal cost or burden and is well worth the effort. This is especially true if it prevents a costly discrimination claim and fosters an inclusive environment that focuses on retention of workforce talent.A good starting point is to simply ask what workplace accommodations the employee would like during the transition process. At a minimum, you should keep lines of communication open with transitioning employees and review their accommodation options. Workers are less likely to become disgruntled, and seek out counsel, if you acknowledge their concerns and work with them to find solutions.
Conclusion

You should review your policies and practices to ensure compliance with the Supreme Court’s Bostock ruling, the EEOC’s updated guidance, and applicable state and local laws.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

April 10, 2022

When Sex and Gender Collide

Studies of transgender kids are revealing fascinating insights about gender in the brain

By Kristina R. Olson

The TransYouth Project is an ongoing research study following more than 300 transgender and gender-nonconforming kids for 20 years to learn how their gender identity develops.
Results so far show that trans children have just as firm a sense of their own gender as nontrans kids at very early ages, both when asked directly and when tested. Furthermore, trans kids follow different trajectories than children who simply prefer toys and clothes associated with the opposite gender.
In addition to helping uncover the roots of gender, early results of these studies suggest that trans kids who are supported through early social transitions have strong mental health and self-esteem.

On arrival at a friend’s house for dinner one night in the fall of 2008, I joined the evening’s youngest guest, five-year-old Noah, who was playing on the couch. Little did I know he would single-handedly change the course of my career.

As a professor of developmental psychology, hanging out at the kids’ table is not unusual for me. I study how children think about themselves and the people around them, and some of my keenest insights have come from conversations like this one. After some small talk, I saw Noah glance around the room, appear to notice that no one was looking and retrieve something from inside his pocket. The reveal was slow but the result unmistakable: a beloved set of Polly Pocket dolls.

Over the next few years I got to know Noah well and learned more about his past (all names of children here are pseudonyms to protect their privacy). Noah’s parents had first noticed that he was different from his brother in the preschool years. He preferred female playmates and toys more commonly associated with girls, but his parents were unfazed. As he got older, Noah grew out his previously short hair and replaced his fairly gender-neutral wardrobe with one that prominently featured Twinkle Toes—shoes that lit up in pink as he stepped. Unlike many similar kids, Noah’s family, friends and school fully accepted him. They even encouraged him to meet other kids like himself, boys who flouted gender norms. Along with the other adults in Noah’s life, I couldn’t help but wonder: What did Noah’s behavior mean? Was he gay? Could he just be a kid who paid less attention to gender norms than most? At the time I had no idea that these questions would soon guide my scientific research.

Life for Noah started to change when he hit third and fourth grade. Noah recently explained how at this time, it became increasingly apparent that although people accepted his preferences and befriended him nonetheless, the way he saw himself—as a girl—was at odds with the way others saw him. When people used his name and male pronouns, he realized that they thought of him as a boy. Noah remembers that this awareness made him increasingly unhappy—a feeling that had been rare just a few years earlier. According to his mom, previously cheerful and high-spirited Noah became sad and melancholy. This is when his family, after consulting with local therapists, reached a big decision that had been in the making for years. Noah came out as transgender, and accordingly Noah’s friends, family and school community were asked to use a new name, Sarah, and to refer to Sarah as a girl.

Fourteen-year-old Sarah, photographed at home, knew from a young age that she was a girl rather than the boy she seemed to be at birth.

At this point I had been studying developmental psychology for a decade, mostly looking into how young children think about the social categories—race, gender, social class—around them. In my free time, I looked for research about kids such as Sarah. Not a single quantitative study had investigated young children who had “switched” gender. (“Sex” refers to the biological categories male and female, whereas “gender” references one’s identification with the social and cultural attributes and categories traditionally attached to each sex.) At that time nearly all adults who were transgender had transitioned much later in life, and almost no one had supported their early gender nonconformity (their desire to express preferences or behaviors that defy societal expectations for their sex). I wondered what we could learn about gender from such young pioneers as Sarah. What was the impact of transitioning on children’s mental health and identity? What would this decision mean for their future?

How We Learn Gender

When most people hear about trans children, they are surprised. How could a three-year-old have such a clear sense of gender identity? People frequently compare early-identifying trans children with those who go through phases of believing they are cats or dinosaurs or who have imaginary friends. They use this comparison as evidence that no young child knows his or her identity or what is real or not real. Yet decades of work on gender development suggests these are precisely the ages at which nearly all kids are coming to understand their own and others’ gender identities.

In Western cultures (where most of this research has been done), within the first year of life infants begin to distinguish people by sex, seeing individuals as either male or female. By about 18 months toddlers begin to understand gendered words such as “girl” or “man” and associate those words with sex-matched faces. By 24 months children know of sex stereotypes (such as associating women with lipstick), and before their third birthday nearly all kids label themselves and others with gender labels that match their sex.

During the preschool years, large numbers of young people go through what gender researchers May Ling Halim of California State University, Long Beach, and Diane Ruble of New York University call the “pink frilly dress stage”: most girls become obsessed with frilly princess dresses or similarly “gendered” clothing, whereas many boys prefer superhero gear or formal wear and actively avoid pink. Around this time children also often exhibit strong preferences for the company of same-sex friends, engage in activities stereotypically associated with their sex and show a developing understanding that their sex is an enduring quality—believing that girls develop into women and boys into men.

Through the elementary school years, most children continue to associate themselves strongly with their sex group when asked both directly and indirectly. One experiment involves asking young participants to sort photographs of children on a computer screen into “boys” and “girls” while categorizing a set of words as either “me” words (like “me” and “myself”) or “not me” words (like “they” and “them”). Researchers measure how quickly kids can make these categorizations when “boys” and “me” share one response key and “girls” and “not me” share another, compared with how quickly they can make the opposite pairings (“girls” with “me” and “boys” with “not me”). Past studies have found that an overwhelming majority of girls are faster at pairing “girls” with “me” and boys are faster at pairing “boys” with “me.” Although scientists debate which aspects of development are innate or culturally constructed, or a combination of both, and not every child goes through the same gender pathway, most—including those children raised in families who vary in their parenting style, political beliefs, and racial and ethnic group membership—show the pattern we have described. And most parents, teachers and other adults never give it a second thought—except when kids start asserting that their gender is not what others expect it to be.

Early Differences

When I began the TransYouth Project in 2013, I wanted to understand whether, when and why young people such as Sarah do and do not behave like their peers in terms of their early gender development. The TransYouth Project is an ongoing study of hundreds of transgender and gender-nonconforming children. We focus on kids in the U.S. and Canada who are three to 12 years old when they begin the study, and we plan to follow them for 20 years.

What has been most surprising to me about our findings so far are the myriad ways in which trans kids’ early gender development is remarkably similar to that of their peers. That is, children like Sarah look like other girls at every age but nothing like boys on measures of gender identity and preferences. Similarly, transgender boys (children who identify as boys but at birth were considered to be girls) perform like other boys on our tests. For example, one common observation in the preschool years is a strong hypergendered appearance—girls who love princess dresses; boys who avoid pink like it’s the plague. We find the same thing in our youngest transgender children. The degree of their preferences for stereotypical clothes, as well as their tendency to prefer to befriend those of their self-identified gender and the degree to which they see themselves as members of their gender group, is statistically indistinguishable from their peers’ responses on the same measures throughout the childhood years.

Charlie prefers clothes and toys associated with girls but identifies as a boy. He is pictured here at age 10.

Furthermore, when predicting their identities into the future, trans girls see themselves becoming women and trans boys feel that they will be men, just as other girls and boys do. Even when we present children with more indirect or implicit measures of gender identity—the measures that assess reaction times rather than children’s more explicit words and actions—we have found that trans girls see themselves as girls and trans boys see themselves as boys, suggesting that these identities are held at lower levels of conscious awareness. All this research combines to show that transgender identities in even very young children are surprisingly solid and consistent across measures, contradicting popular beliefs that such feelings are fleeting or that children are simply pretending to be the opposite gender.

The Roots of Gender

But where does the feeling of gender come from in the first place? The science is still far from conclusive. Because of how early this sense of identity can emerge, researchers have been looking for genetic and neuroanatomical signs in transgender people. One approach scientists often use in studying genetics is to look at twins. A major difference between identical and fraternal twins is that the former share more of their genetic material than the latter. If researchers find more agreement in transgender identity among identical twins than in fraternal twins, they infer that genetics play some role. And in fact, this is exactly what early studies are finding (although identical twins may also share more aspects of their socialization and environment). For example, in one 2012 review of the literature, Gunter Heylens of Ghent University in Belgium and his colleagues looked at 44 sets of same-sex twins in which at least one twin identified as transgender. They found that in nine of the 23 identical twin pairs, both siblings were transgender, whereas in no case among the 21 same-sex fraternal twin pairs were both twins transgender, suggesting transgender identity has some genetic underpinning. Despite these results, however, which particular genetic variations are involved is an open question.

Similarly, although some neuroscience studies have shown that brain structures of trans people resemble those of individuals with the same gender identity, rather than people with the same sex at birth, these findings have often involved small samples and have not yet been replicated. Further complicating interpretation of neuroscience results is the fact that brains change in response to experience, so even when differences appear, scientists do not know whether structural or functional brain differences cause the experience of a particular gender identity or reflect the experience of gender identity. Muddying the already murky waters, neuroscientists continue to debate whether even among people who are not transgender, there are reliable sex (or gender) differences in brains [see “Is There a ‘Female’ Brain?”]. Thus, whereas the topic is an active line of work in many research laboratories around the world, definitive conclusions about genetic and neural correlates of gender identity remain elusive.

Perhaps the most critical questions about transgender children, however, are about their well-being. Transgender adults and teens who did not go through the early social transition of kids such as Sarah and who were often rejected by peers and even their own families tend to have highly elevated rates of anxiety and depression. Estimates suggest that more than 40 percent of these largely unsupported trans teens and adults will attempt suicide. Many families like Sarah’s report that these heartbreaking statistics are why they supported their children’s early transitions.

My colleagues and I are finding—both in reports from parents and from kids themselves—that trans youth who make the social transition at a young age are doing remarkably well. They have depression rates comparable to their peers and only slightly elevated rates of anxiety. They also show very strong self-esteem. Whether these indicators of mental health stay strong as our cohort of trans children moves into the teen years remains to be seen, and certainly our all-volunteer sample is unlikely to be fully representative of all trans children alive today. Yet paired with work suggesting that interventions in adolescence (that involve not only social transitions but also hormonal therapy) are associated with improved mental health, these findings suggest that the high rates of depression, anxiety and suicide seen in earlier studies are not inevitable. Instead, as the world becomes more educated about transgender people, as rejection and bullying decrease, and as these youth receive support and intervention at earlier ages, we are optimistic that mental health risks will decrease.

“Pink Boys” and Tomboys

The first question I typically get when talking about transgender kids is something like, “Are you saying tomboys are actually transgender?” or “I used to be a boy who loved princess dresses. Are you suggesting I was transgender?” Of course, not all children who defy sex stereotypes as Sarah did are transgender. In fact, I would venture to say that most of them are not.

Sarah’s decision to transition genders was made in elementary school. Sarah is shown with her parents here.

One such kid is Charlie. On the surface Charlie seemed a lot like Sarah early in life. Both were assumed to be boys at birth, and both showed signs by the preschool years that they were different. As with Sarah, Charlie loved all things feminine. His mom recalls that by age two, Charlie loved pink sparkly clothing and would put a towel over his head pretending it was hair. Much like Sarah’s family, Charlie’s family introduced him to other boys who loved feminine stuff. And over the years some of these children, like Sarah, socially transitioned. But Charlie did not. I recently asked Charlie about his decision not to transition. He explained that his family (sometimes with the help of a therapist) spent a lot of time talking about social transitions and made it clear that they were onboard if that was what he wanted. Charlie said he considered this possibility in the back of his mind for several years but ultimately decided that although he unabashedly liked stereotypically “girl” things (in fact the very day I interviewed him, Charlie was wearing pink shorts, a purple T-shirt and a pink scarf to school) and even if he occasionally uses a girl’s name at camp, at the end of the day Charlie feels that he is a boy. As his mom explained, Charlie said that what he really wanted was for the world to accept him as he is—to let him wear what he wanted to wear and do what he wanted to do. But he did not truly feel he was a girl.

My work with children such as Charlie is ongoing, but preliminary data from others suggest that distinctive developmental trajectories may differentiate Sarah and Charlie. For instance, the degree to which a child gravitates to toys and clothes associated with the opposite gender may distinguish kids who ultimately identify as transgender from those who do not—on average, children like Sarah show even more gender nonconformity than children like Charlie. Other studies have suggested that the way kids talk about their gender identity—feeling you are a girl versus feeling that you wish the world was okay with your being a feminine boy (what Charlie’s mom calls a “pink boy”)—predicts the different paths of children like Sarah versus Charlie.

Researchers are also increasingly recognizing and studying people with nonbinary identities. Put simply, these are individuals who do not feel as if they are boys or girls, men or women, nor do they feel fully masculine or feminine. Instead many nonbinary people fall somewhere in the middle of a spectrum from masculine to feminine. To date, our research team has worked with several children who see themselves this way, but this group is not yet large enough from which to draw any strong conclusions.

What is undoubtedly true is that scientists have much to learn about children such as Sarah and Charlie. What does it mean to have a sense of yourself as a boy or a girl or something else? What makes a child more or less likely to identify that way? And how can we help all kids to be comfortable with themselves? Finding answers is especially difficult because gender is defined by culture, which constantly changes. In 1948, for instance, only 32 percent of adults believed women should wear slacks in public. Certainly feminine boys and masculine girls are not new; they are widely recognized in many indigenous cultures.

Today 14-year-old Sarah and 13-year-old Charlie are self-confident, smart and hardworking teens. Sarah plays piano, varsity field hockey and recently took up track. Charlie plays in a band and performs in theater. Both kids are popular and spend more of their time worrying about doing well in school and the complexities of adolescent social networks than about their gender. Both look to the future, excited about the possibilities that await them in college and beyond. Sarah says she wants to raise children with her future husband and aspires to make the world better for trans young people like herself. Charlie has dreams of moving to New York City to perform on Broadway. Both teens hope one day kids like them will be accepted for who they are regardless of the gender labels they use. In that hope, surely all of us can agree.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

April 3, 2022April 3, 2022

A guide to the words we use in our gender coverage

By Anne Branigin

Over the last few years, the rights of transgender people — and those within the LGBTQ community more broadly — have increasingly become the subject of legal and political debate. School districts across the country have proposed book bans that strike the work of LGBTQ writers from reading lists. Florida has moved to forbid instruction on sexual orientation and gender identity in kindergarten through third grade. As of April 1, more than a dozen states in the last two years have passed bills that limit the ability of trans youths to participate in sports or access gender-affirming health care.

Depending on one’s life experiences, it can be challenging to navigate some of the terms of the debate. Informed by the guidance of a number of organizations, including GLAAD, the Trans Journalists Association, InterAct, the American Medical Association and the Association of LGBTQ Journalists, The Washington Post has compiled a glossary of the terms and concepts that show up in our coverage.

The glossary below is not comprehensive, and there is ongoing conversation about which language is most appropriate and accurate. This guide is intended to be a clear and accurate starting point to help readers better understand gender issues.

Some of these terms may seem new — due in large part to increased visibility of LGBTQ communities — but the existence of different gender identities and sexual orientations is not. As with all language, these terms are reflected by our time and culture. This list is specific to the United States; other cultures have different labels and understandings of gender.

“Language is always evolving,” Blazucki said. “We’re always coming up with new words and new ways to talk about things as our lives change, as society changes.”

1 The basics

Sex is usually assigned at birth and based on the appearance of external anatomy. Sex is typically categorized as male, female or intersex.

Intersex applies to people born with the reproductive or sexual anatomy and/or chromosomes that don’t fit into traditional conceptions of male or female bodies. As InterAct notes, there are a number of naturally occurring intersex variations, some that are identified at birth and others that may be discovered at puberty or later in life.

Intersex is not a gender identity. Intersex people are assigned a sex at birth, one that may or may not match their gender identity as they grow up. Intersex people may have any gender identity or sexual orientation.

Gender covers the behavioral, cultural or psychological traits associated with one’s sex, which can vary widely depending on the time period and place. It is widely held now among medical professionals and gender experts that the terms sex and gender are not interchangeable, though this has not always been the case.

Gender is frequently categorized as male, female or nonbinary.

Gender identity is your internal knowledge of your own gender. For many people, their gender identity will align with the sex they were assigned at birth, but this is not true for everyone — some people’s gender identity may line up with their assigned sex, and others may identify with neither or multiple genders (see cisgender, transgender and nonbinary).

What’s important to remember is that gender identity is not always outwardly visible to others, experts say.

Gender expression is how you present your gender outwardly, including through your behavior, mannerisms, clothing, name, pronouns and other characteristics.

Gender expression in the United States tends to fall on a spectrum from “masculine” to “feminine.”

While gender expression is very specific to the individual, it is heavily influenced by culture, peers and upbringing, said Gillian Branstetter, press secretary with the National Women’s Law Center.

“If you’re a cisgender man and you grow a beard, you’re communicating something about your gender to the world,” Branstetter said. “You’re doing the same thing with your name and pronouns, even if you don’t necessarily realize it.”

No matter what their gender identity is, most people express their gender in a way that aligns with their identity to better communicate to the world how they see themselves.

2 Gender identity

Cisgender describes someone whose gender identity lines up with the sex they were assigned at birth (this can also be shortened to “cis”). “Cis” comes from Latin, meaning “the same side as.”

Transgender describes someone whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned at birth (this can also be shortened to “trans”). For example, a transgender woman is someone who was listed as male at birth but whose gender identity is female.

“Trans” also comes from Latin, meaning “across” or “beyond.”

In its media guidance, GLAAD notes that being transgender is not dependent on physical appearance or medical procedures: “A person can call themself transgender the moment they realize that their gender identity is different than the sex they were assigned at birth.”

As Branstetter said: “Transgender people are not a monolith in how we express or navigate our identities.”

Nonbinary is a term used by people whose experience of gender identity and gender expression do not align neatly as either “man” or “woman,” the two categories Western countries have generally used to classify gender. Both cis and trans people can identify as nonbinary.

In the United States, nonbinary (or non-binary) is a newer term for a concept with a long history. People have also used the term “genderqueer” to describe nonbinary identity. And terms like “agender,” which describes a person who does not identify as any gender, and “pangender,” which describes someone whose identity may encompass all genders at once, may help further describe how someone is nonbinary.

Genderfluid refers to someone whose gender identity is not fixed, but may appear to others as flowing through different gender categories. Imara Jones, founder and chief executive of TransLash Media, describes it as a “weaving together” of different gender identities: “This is just how they experience gender.”

Gender nonconforming, frequently abbreviated to GNC, is a broad term that describes a person who defies gender norms and expectations in their gender expression. This can apply to all gender identities: trans, cis, nonbinary and beyond.

Transphobia refers to prejudice or hatred shown, in speech or actions, toward transgender or gender-nonconforming people. This bias is centered on gender identity.

3 Sexual orientation

Sexual orientation describes an enduring physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction to a person of the same and/or other genders. It is separate from gender identity, but like gender identity, it is innate.

A cisgender or transgender person can be straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, etc. (For example, “lesbian” could apply to both cisgender women and transgender women who are exclusively attracted to other women.)

Pansexual describes someone who is capable of forming enduring physical, romantic and emotional attraction to people of any gender identity.

Asexual, which is sometimes shortened to “ace,” is an umbrella term for people who do not experience sexual attraction. This can also include people who are demisexual — experiencing some sexual attraction, but only in certain situations; for example, only after establishing a strong emotional connection.

Out describes a person who self-identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, transgender or nonbinary in their personal, public and professional lives.

Queer is an overarching term describing anyone whose sexual orientation isn’t exclusively heterosexual. It’s not unusual for older generations of LGBTQ members to reject the term, which was once considered a pejorative, said Branstetter. But in recent years, younger members have sought to reclaim the word.

“The word ‘queer,’ I think, is increasingly embraced in terms of expressing your own sexuality because it speaks to an openness. It speaks to growing comfortable with ambiguity,” Branstetter said.

For some people, “queer” carries with it an additional meaning as a political identity, Jones said — one that challenges the ways LGBTQ marginalization and inequality are upheld by legal, political and social systems. In recent years, some heterosexual people have also embraced this identity.

Homophobia refers to prejudice or hate expressed, in speech or actions, toward gay, lesbian, bisexual or queer people. The intolerance is based on sexual orientation.

4 Terms in the news

Gender transition refers to the multilayered process of aligning one’s life with one’s gender identity. While much of the news focuses on the medical process of transitioning (in large part because of the states that have proposed or enacted bills that restrict these treatments), transition can and does happen on many other levels.

“There’s a wide range of things that involve transition, and they’re not the same for everyone,” said Jones

Social transition includes actions like coming out to family and friends, and changing how one dresses or talks, the name they go by and the pronouns they use. Legal transition involves updating documents like birth certificates and identification cards to reflect one’s name and gender marker. Medical transition includes hormone replacement therapy and could include additional surgical procedures as well.

Transition is a highly individualized, personal process. A person who is transitioning could employ all — or none — of these methods.

Gender dysphoria is the medical term for the psychological and physical distress that happens when one’s sex assigned at birth does not align with their gender. How people experience gender dysphoria — and its severity — varies from person to person, noted Jones.

In a clinical context, a psychiatric diagnosis of gender dysphoria is often necessary to access medical treatment. This practice is controversial on a couple of fronts: Some say that it inappropriately pathologizes gender incongruence, and some also critique it as a form of medical gatekeeping.

According to the Trans Journalists Association, gender dysphoria can also happen in a social context and can refer to the discomfort many trans people feel when their correct gender is not recognized by others.

Gender euphoria refers to the satisfaction and happiness people feel when their gender is affirmed. A trans person may experience this kind of euphoria when their correct names and pronouns are recognized or when their physical appearance aligns with their gender identity.

Branstetter adds that this kind of feeling is something cis people experience, too: “Cis women oftentimes will enjoy feeling feminine, whatever that may mean to them, in the same way cis men will oftentimes enjoy feeling masculine in whatever way that may mean to them.”

Gender-affirming care describes medical care that affirms or recognizes the gender identity of the person receiving medical care. Also known as “gender-affirmative” or “gender-confirming” care, such medical care for minors can include puberty or hormone blockers and is closely monitored by their doctors. For adults, this could mean hormone therapy and various surgical procedures, such as breast reconstruction (also known as “top surgery”), speech therapy, genital reconstruction and facial plastic surgery.

These treatments have been linked to better health outcomes for the transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming people who seek them, and can help protect them against discrimination and violence.

But gender-affirming care goes beyond medical treatments that assist people in transitioning, said Jones. She views gender-affirming care as care that recognizes and values the gender identity of the patient, no matter what they’re seeking treatment for.

Jason Rafferty, a child psychiatrist and pediatrician at Hasbro Children’s Hospital in Providence, R.I., described it similarly to the American Medical Association: It is “a model of care and an approach to the patients and families that we work with,” he said.

“It’s not necessarily a protocol. It’s not guided steps,” Rafferty added.

Misgender refers to an action in which someone addresses or refers to another person by the wrong gender — either accidentally or intentionally. This can include referring to someone by the wrong pronouns or honorifics or using a trans person’s deadname (the name they used before transitioning).

To understand and avoid misgendering, it’s important to recognize how often we gender the world around us, said Branstetter: We project gender onto animals, objects and even weather events.

“It’s something that people do and they don’t realize that they do it. It happens very swiftly,” Branstetter said.

For many transgender people, misgendering can feel like a form of violence, Jones added: “It’s violent because it’s a form of erasure.”

Marginalized gender is an umbrella term, most frequently used in academic and activist circles, describing anyone who is not a cis man. The term points toward the ways cisgender women and LGBTQ individuals, historically and currently, have experienced systemic inequities and greater regulation over their rights.

“It’s not just that their bodies are regulated,” Branstetter said, “but their bodies are regulated as a means of regulating their life path.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

April 1, 2022March 31, 2022

Understanding Gender Identity

Gender exists on a spectrum, with several gender identities to choose from

There’s so much diversity in how we identify ourselves and the way we express love for one another. Just as there are different kinds of love, we can become sexually and romantically attracted to our partners in different ways (if we experience sexual or romantic attraction at all).

The relationship we have with our own bodies as it relates to gender and sexual orientation can also be a complicated one. Everyone is built differently, and many of us come to realize aspects of our own gender in ways that can be challenging, exciting and complex.

Over time, as language has evolved and we’ve learned more about gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation, healthcare providers and organizations like the American Counseling Association have determined multiple ways someone can identify in terms of how they feel about themselves and how they feel about others. One example of gender inclusivity might be, rather than refer to someone of Latin American descent as Latina or Latino, a more gender-inclusive term we use now is Latinx.

Sometimes, this search for understanding how we identify can happen later in life, but often, this journey begins when we’re young.

“Most teens struggle with figuring out who they are as a person. That’s part of what teenage years are meant to be, exploring your identity as a person,” says pediatric psychologist Vanessa K. Jensen, PsyD, ABPP.

There’s no right answer for determining how you identify related to gender and sexuality, but discovery usually begins with internal awareness and may include exploring how you can express your gender identity and sexual orientation with others. However you arrive at your identity, it’s important that you do so safely and you check in with yourself often along the way.

“It’s so much easier when you have a path in almost anything,” says Dr. Jensen. “Having a group you can identify with can be very comforting. Having a label can give us a place to be in our own head, and at times, in our social lives and what we do day-to-day. That’s true for many people, but it’s especially true in our teen and young adult journeys.”

Here, Dr. Jensen helps us walk through several common terms used to describe gender identity and gender expression.

Gender identity and how we talk about who we are

Gender identity is typically expressed in the way you label yourself, how you physically present yourself to others and how you feel about your own body.

Discovering your gender identity is a journey we all take. Some of us arrive at and understand our gender identity quickly — some of us know on Day One where we’re going, and some of us take the most direct path to get there. Some of us might take a more scenic route with a few stops along the way until we arrive at our final destination. And that’s OK. You are valid, no matter how you arrive at understanding your gender identity.

“For a lot of people, these things happen very organically and naturally,” says Dr. Jensen. “This is about more than just our bodies. This is about who we are. And that includes external and internal aspects of ourselves.”

As language continues to evolve, we’re coming up with new ways to explain how we feel about who we are every day. This list, though not all-inclusive, is a good first step in understanding the various ways we and those around us identify gender, keeping in mind that not everyone agrees on the definition of each label and that they’re continually changing.

Agender

This term describes someone who feels like they don’t fit any gender. They may not ascribe to (identify with) the gender binary of males and females (someone who doesn’t identify with the polar opposites of male or female). They also don’t feel comfortable with other gender-variant terms.

Androgynous

This term describes someone who feels comfortable expressing themselves in a more gender-neutral way. They may express varying aspects of masculinity and femininity. How they express themselves may vary day to day, but they don’t generally appear dramatically male or female.

Bigender

People who are bigender experience characteristics of two genders at the same time. Though this typically means the male/female gender binary, you could experience aspects of other genders, too.

“If you’re bigender, you don’t want to label yourself as just one or the other, but you don’t want to reject either one, so you identify with both,” explains Dr. Jensen.

Butch

Some may see this as a derogatory label, while others may claim this term to define how they identify in an affirming way. This term is often reserved for those who identify strongly with masculine cultural traits physically, sexually, mentally and/or emotionally. Historically, this term has been used by lesbian women who express more masculine characteristics. Similar to a few other labels listed here, this should be a self-identification, not a label you ascribe to other people.

Cisgender

This term describes someone whose gender identity matches their assigned sex at birth. If you were born female and identify as female, you’re cisgender. If you were born male and identify as male, you’re also cisgender.

Femme

Femme has often been reserved for those who identify strongly with feminine cultural traits physically, sexually, mentally and/or emotionally. Historically, this term has been used within the lesbian community; however, it also commonly applies to people who are male-identifying in gender and express more feminine characteristics. This can also be used by anyone of any gender who identifies with feminine traits.

FTM (female-to-male)

This is typically a medical abbreviation to describe a transition for a transgender person. The first letter indicates someone’s assigned sex at birth and the last letter indicates someone’s gender identity and expression. FTM indicates a female transition to male.

“This is one of those medical abbreviations that can be perceived as pejorative [has negative connotations],” notes Dr. Jensen. “But people may see that in a medical document or journal.”

Intersex

This is an umbrella term that technically means “between the sexes.” People who are intersex carry variations in their reproductive and sexual anatomy that differ from what’s fully male or female. For example, a baby might be born with genitalia that is not completely male or completely female, or they might have variations of XX and XY chromosomes. Medically, these rare conditions are referred to as disorders of sex differentiation (or differences of sex development). Language is evolving. Some people may find the term DSD controversial, as it implies intersex is a disorder in need of treatment rather than a biological variation. However, the term intersex continues to be recognized by the LGBTQIA+ community and has gained more traction as an identity within the last decade.

MTF (male-to-female)

Nonbinary

If you’re nonbinary, you don’t ascribe to the male/female binary. Instead of identifying as male or female, you identify as being somewhere else on the gender spectrum.

“If you identify as nonbinary, you see gender as a spectrum,” says Dr. Jensen. “You’re basically saying, ‘I don’t buy into the two ends of the poles, people can be anywhere on that spectrum.’”

Pangender

A synonym of omnigender and polygender, this umbrella term describes anyone whose gender identity carries varying aspects of multiple identities and expressions.

Pronouns

Historically, we’ve been pretty binary (male/female) in the way we approach using pronouns to talk about those around us. Luckily, as our language evolves, we’ve created new ways of identifying how we feel about who we are. Our use of pronouns has expanded to include interchangeable gender-neutral pronouns like they/them/their, xe/xem/xyr, zie/zim/zir and others.

“Names and pronouns have meaning, and people take them seriously,” says Dr. Jensen. “It’s very personal.”

Transgender

This term describes someone whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex at birth, and it’s inclusive of both binary (male/female) and nonbinary gender identities. Some individuals are very open about being transgender; however, some may prefer to avoid that term entirely and simply exist as the gender they are (what’s sometimes referred to as “passing”). And that’s OK. How you choose to present yourself is entirely up to you.

“There are a lot of transgender individuals whose goal is to just be and be seen as the gender they identify as,” says Dr. Jensen. “So, they don’t want to be called transgender, a trans man or a trans woman.”

The process of transitioning from your sex assigned at birth to your identified gender looks different for every person based on your individual experiences.

In many cases, the first step to transition is called social transitioning. During this step, you may express your gender identity by changing the way you present yourself at home or in public. This gender expression can be evidenced in the clothing and accessories you wear, your body language, or your interests and activities. You may also ask friends and family to refer to you by a different name or pronoun that better fits your gender identity. You can also legally change your name. This period of social transitioning may last months, years or a lifetime.

You may want to go through a physical transition, too, with the help of hormone replacement therapy and/or gender confirmation/affirming surgery. In many cases, according to WPATH guidelines, centers require some period of social transition prior to receiving these healthcare services. In some cases, puberty blockers are used to put a hold on puberty to allow more time for a young person to understand their gender identity.

For some folks, hormone replacement therapy can be enough for someone to feel like they’ve fully transitioned.

“Some people can’t take hormones with certain medical conditions, and some choose not to for personal reasons,” says Dr. Jensen.

You can use different interventions like chest binders, voice therapy or hair removal to improve your gender expression. But you may still want gender confirmation/affirming surgery to modify your chest (sometimes called “top surgery”), modify your genitalia (sometimes called “bottom surgery”) or other surgical procedures that modify your face, voice, body hair or other physical aspects of your body.

Whatever path you choose to carry out your transition is entirely up to you, but it’s important that you seek out LGBTQIA+-friendly healthcare providers who can walk you through that process and discuss your options.

Two-spirited

This term is typically reserved for Indigenous/Native Americans who embrace a third gender that contains aspects of both masculine and feminine spirits in one person. Two-spirited individuals are historically valued, honored and respected among their tribe for the spiritual and social roles they play in their communities.

The spectrum of gender identity and gender dysphoria

There are multiple ways in which you might define your gender identity. Several gender identities are all-inclusive umbrella terms that reflect gender as much larger than the male/female binary. And while some of these terms stand on their own, others may be interchangeable.

“There are different variations for many of these terms because gender is a spectrum,” says Dr. Jensen.

Here are some other important terms to know:

Gender-fluid: Your gender may shift and change over time and can include multiple genders.
Gender-neutral: For some people, this is similar to agender. If you’re gender-neutral, you don’t identify with one specific gender but may identify with varying aspects of multiple genders. Or you reject the idea of gender labeling altogether.
Gender-nonconforming: This umbrella term describes anyone whose gender identity and gender expression don’t align with cultural expectations of the male/female binary. If you’re gender-nonconforming, you may think of yourself as having no gender, multiple genders or a third gender that’s neither male nor female.
Gender-normative: Your gender identity and gender expression align with cultural expectations of the male/female binary.
Gender-variant: Sometimes known as gender-expansive, this term is similar to gender-nonconforming. It describes anyone who identifies with a gender outside of the male/female binary.
Genderqueer: Similar to gender-nonconforming and gender-variant, you may identify as genderqueer if you think of yourself as having no gender, multiple genders or a third gender that’s neither male nor female. It’s important to note, though, that while some people see this term as affirming, others find it derogatory. This should be a self-identification, not a label you give to or say to another person.

Sometimes, you may experience gender dysphoria if aspects of your physical body don’t align with the gender you identify with. But it’s important to note that not everyone who’s transgender experiences gender dysphoria, and not everyone who experiences gender dysphoria is transgender.

Wherever you are on your gender journey — whether you’re at your destination or still figuring out your path forward — making an effort to understand gender identity is something we can all do to create a more inclusive world.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

March 7, 2022March 7, 2022

Am I Gay?

– Resources and Support if You’re Discovering Your Sexual Orientation

by Albert Wagner

Questions about your sexual identity can be complicated. There are tons of words to describe different sexual orientations: lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, queer, pansexual, and so many more. You may be wondering which one fits you best, if any. It’s important to keep in mind that labels can be helpful in understanding your sexual identity, but if you feel like there isn’t a particular label that suits you, that’s okay and doesn’t mean your identity is any less valid.

For some people, the question of “am I gay” is easy to answer. Some people can point to a moment when they knew they were gay, and others feel like they’ve always just known. For others, their journey of discovering their sexuality can be a little less linear. There’s no wrong way to go about it.

But by definition, to identify as gay would mean that you feel sexual and/or romantic attraction to someone of your same gender identity, says LGBTQ+ expert Kryss Shane. “Sometimes it’s a general awareness, other times it’s self-recognition from a same-sex friendship that begins to feel like something more, and sometimes it’s through sexual exploration,” Shane explains.

If you think that you might be gay, here are some resources and things to keep in mind as you explore your sexuality.

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

Like we said, there are a lot of terms people use to describe their sexual identity and/or gender orientation. Some of them might even feel like they fit for a while, but you could later decide that they don’t really describe who you are. Learning about yourself and your sexuality is a journey, and it’s actually a really beautiful thing.

Your safety is important.

If you don’t feel it’s safe for you to be out in certain contexts—whether with family, at work, at school, or anywhere else—you should trust that instinct. It doesn’t mean you’re denying who you are, it means you’re making the best and safest decision for you.

You don’t have to justify or explain your identity to anyone you don’t want to.

If you want to share your journey with people in your life, go for it! But if you’re not ready to come out yet or share this part of yourself with people, that’s okay, too. You can share as much or as little as you want when it comes to your sexual orientation.

You aren’t alone.

Although your journey with your sexual orientation is unique, you don’t have to do it alone. If it feels safe, you can include your loved ones as you figure it all out, but if that’s not an option for you, you’re still not alone. There are tons of supportive LGBTQ+ people who can support you on your journey.

Some organizations you might want to look into if you’re trying to find your LGBTQ+ community are:

PFLAG. There are over 400 chapters across 50 states, so you can connect with LGBTQ+ people in your area who have been where you are.

Q Chat Space. If you’re between the ages of 13 and 19 and questioning your sexuality, you can join live online chats for LGBTQ+ and questioning teens facilitated by experienced staff who work at LGBTQ+ centers around the country.

TrevorSpace. This is an online community for LGBTQ+ young people ages 13 to 24, where you can join discussion groups and get advice from other people.

Your local LGBTQ+ community center. If you live in an area with a dedicated LGBTQ+ community center, they likely have support groups for people who are LGBTQ+ or questioning their sexual identity. They may also have groups for LGBTQ+ people of specific races, ethnicities, ages, or other intersecting identities.

Your local community center. Even if you don’t have an LGBTQ+ community center, your local community center may have an LGBTQ+ support group or LGBTQ+ social events that you can check out.

Find support and comfort through queer representation.

Reading books about LGBTQ+ people or watching LGBTQ+ movies can help you make sense of your own identity. There are tons of movies and TV shows with gay, queer, and lesbian representation that you can stream. Or you can start getting into the many LGBTQ+ podcasts out there, from ones that teach you about queer history to ones that address issues that LGBTQ+ people face today.

You can always reach out for help if you need it.

In addition to the above organizations that provide support groups and other forums for connecting with LGBTQ+ people, there are plenty of other resources you can turn to as you figure things out.

The Trevor Project. The Trevor Project has tons of resources to help you learn about different sexual orientations, mental health, gender identity, and more. They also offer LGBTQ+ informed crisis counselors you can talk to via chat, phone, or text.

The LGBT National Help Center. This organization operates three national hotlines to provide peer support, information, and other resources to LGBTQ people. They also offer support via online chat and weekly moderated chats for LGBTQ youth.

The It Gets Better Project. It Gets Better helps highlight stories and connect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer youth around the world. They also have a resource page where you can find information and support about everything from crisis resources to legal assistance to housing insecurity, with a focus on LGBTQ+ people.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

February 26, 2022February 25, 2022

What to Know About Gender-Affirming Care

Gender-affirmation care refers to treatments, ranging from surgery to speech therapy, that support a transgender or nonbinary person in their gender transition.

Transgender people identify with a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth. Nonbinary people have gender identities that fall outside the categories of male and female.

Transition looks different for each person. But generally, the goal of gender-affirmation care, sometimes called gender-affirming care, is to help your outward traits match your gender identity.

Nonsurgical Treatments

Which gender affirmation therapies you choose will differ depending on your own goals. Some nonsurgical treatments you can get are:

Laser hair removal: A skin doctor (dermatologist) uses a low-energy laser on your hair follicles (the small holes in your skin from which hair grows). Hair won’t grow back once it’s removed this way. You may need a series of treatments, each lasting a few minutes to a few hours, depending on the size of the area being treated. Your doctor will probably ask you to stop any other hair removal methods 6 weeks before treatment starts.

Masculinizing hormone replacement therapy: In this treatment, a doctor gives hormone medications to lessen female traits and promote male ones. You may notice:

More muscle mass
More body and facial hair
Lower voice
Changes in how you sweat and smell
Changes in where fat collects in your body
Hairline recession or baldness
Higher sex drive
Growth of the clitoris
Vaginal dryness
You no longer have periods

Feminizing hormone therapy: This is where a doctor gives you hormone medications to lessen male physical characteristics and increase female ones. You may notice:

Breast growth
Changes in where fat collects in your body
Less muscle mass
Less body hair
Changes in how you sweat and how you smell
Changes in sex drive
Changes in penis function (less frequent or firm erections)
Lower sperm count
Less sexual fluid at orgasm
Smaller testicles

Speech therapy: A specially trained therapist can help you change aspects of how you speak to better conform with your gender identity. This might include changes in:

The pitch of your voice
How quickly you speak
How loudly you speak
The quality, or “resonance,” of your voice
Your inflection, or changes in pitch as you speak
How you pronounce words and phrases
How you take part in a conversation
How you communicate in nonverbal ways (such as body language and facial expressions)

Mental health care: You face many issues when you establish a new gender identity. Should you get sex-reassignment surgery? How do you prepare mentally for the change? How do you deal socially with the transition? What about family, friends, and support systems?

A mental health specialist can help you explore different approaches to your transition. It may help to find one who specializes in transgender care.

Surgical Treatments

Gender-affirming surgical treatments are divided broadly into 2 categories: male-to-female surgeries, and female-to-male procedures.

Common surgeries include:

Facial reconstruction surgery: This can make your face look more feminine or masculine. You might get injections to enhance your cheekbones or surgery to soften or sharpen your chin. The surgeon can also make changes to your nose or jawline.
Chest surgery: This is sometimes called “top” surgery. The surgeon may remove breast tissue for a flatter, more masculine chest. Or, they could enhance the shape and size of your breasts to make them look more feminine.
Genital surgery: Sometimes called “bottom” surgery, these procedures transform and rebuild your genitals to come as close as possible in appearance and function to those of your gender identity.
Hysterectomy: This involves removal of uterus and ovaries. You may be able to preserve eggs that you could use later to have children.

Recovery after gender-affirmation surgeries varies greatly, depending on your health and the type of procedure. Your doctor can tell you what to expect.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

February 18, 2022February 18, 2022

Queer people have mastered sexual friendships

— and it’s time you straights caught on

Allow me to impart some wisdom upon the cishet masses.

By Ian Kumamoto

I’ve slept with most of my friends. I mean that literally — I’ve shared a bed and cuddled with nearly all of them. I know who likes to be a little spoon and who prefers to be a big spoon; I also know how loud each of them snores. On top of that, I’ve made out with a good chunk of them, given oil massages to some and had full-on sex with others. To me and many other queer people, this shit is normal. Physical, sometimes erotic, touch, is an integral part of many of our friendships. From what I gather, sexual friendships still pretty uncommon outside of the LGBTQ community — what’s this all about?

To be fair, for straight identifying people, there’s an entire culture built around an obsession with sex and what it means to have it. Non-queers seem terrified of being “friend-zoned,” which is lackluster way of saying that someone they think owes them sex doesn’t want to sleep with them. I want to avoid broadly generalizing — especially since gay men are stereotyped as sex-crazed and outlandishly promiscuous — but these constructs that I describe are very real. When my straight friends have sex with each other, I am always sure of one thing: They either feel like they have to end the friendship or they decide to get into a long-term monogamous situation. But what if neither of those options serve them?

Whenever I see these friends face this dilemma, I want to scream into the void. It doesn’t need to be this way. By thinking that they need to choose between cutting off a friendship or ascribing more meaning to it purely because there’s sex involved, they’re robbing themselves of all the glorious nuance that can exist in a physically intimate friendship.

I’m just going to say it: Queer people are better at navigating sexual grey areas. Could non-queers learn a thing or two about friendship from us? I asked some experts to help me dole out some sage advice on fostering a sexual friendship without all the drama. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind.

Sex doesn’t have to be the defining factor of your relationships

Mainstream American culture has taught us that physical intimacy outside of our family has to be sexual. Something as simple as kissing a friend will get most Americans flustered, where in many cultures around the world, kissing on the cheek or even holding hands is devoid of sexual meaning. Not here, where we draw the line at chest bumps and where “no homo” became the mantra of a generation.

Queer Americans, broadly speaking, have been able to free ourselves of those constraints. “The queer community formed as a community precisely because they were prohibited from touching each other. They came together to touch each other,” Thomas Roach, a professor of philosophy and cultural studies at Bryant University and author of “Friendship as a Way of Life,” tells me. In the U.S., queerness was criminalized for a long time and many queer people still experience rejection from their families.

For that reason, friendships became a primary source of physical touch as well as a means of survival. Sex still matters, obviously, but it’s peripheral to the strong emotional bonds we have to forge with others in our community. “One salient aspect of queer friendship is that sex is not necessarily the fulcrum around which a relationship turns. Sex is not necessarily the make or break of a queer friendship, nor is it the great definitional divider of friend versus lover,” Roach tells me. “Friendship is formless, amoeba-like, and can be invented from A to Z. Unlike romantic relationships and marriage — which are overburdened with cis-hetero courtship rituals and scripts — friendship is ours to create. And queers have been incredibly innovative in this regard!”

When we let go of the idea that friendships are inferior to romantic and monogamous relationships, we can start to expand the possibilities of what we want our friendships to look like. Sometimes, that can involve sex.

I found a great amount of truth in Roach’s observations: My most intimate and freeing relationships are with queer friends and the same time, none of them are strictly defined by sex (or the lack thereof). If I do have sex with a friend, it’s almost a way of showing them how much I love them as a friend. I realize that this is completely counterintuitive to how most heterosexual people are taught to navigate the world, but in the absence of scripts, my most authentic emotions have been able to thrive.

Strong friendships come from a shared understanding of the world

Roach also points out that recent history has proven the importance of queer friendships. From Stonewall, to the AIDS crisis to the Pulse nightclub shooting, queer people are constantly reminded that we are not beloved by all. This feeling of shared estrangement creates a foundation for deeper connection and might explain another phenomenon among us: we are generally much better at staying friends with our exes. That’s because we’re also more likely to have shared identity-affirming experiences outside of the romantic relationship itself — maybe our former partner took us to our first gay club or they taught us how to have safer sex.

The future of friendships looks pretty queer

Thinking about the intimacy of queer friendships also got me thinking about the future of friendships in general. As queerness becomes less stigmatized and the need for LGBTQ-specific spaces disappear, will queer friendships lose thier spark and start to resemble heterosexual ones? Will we even have anything to bond over down the line, once we have all our rights?

Maybe, or maybe not. But I doubt that we’ll have to grapple with this question in our lifetime. “As much as queerness has become more mainstream, there is so much anti-trans legislation circulating at this moment in time,” Ariella Serur, a queer dating coach, tells me. “There is still an epidemic of violence against trans folks, particularly trans women of color, so non-stigmatization still feels far away for the LGBTQIA+ community as a whole.” She’s right.

As long as there are attacks against anyone in our community, friendship is likely to remain the foundation of our culture. Instead of thinking about the heterosexualiztion of queer friendships, a more likely outcome, I hope, is that there will be a queering of heterosexual friendships. A staggering 15% of Gen-Z identifies as LGBTQ, more than any generation before it. I can’t help but feel that more people are realizing the limitations of a label as reductive as “straight” and looking for a way out.

Queerness frees us up to express ourselves in infinite ways. It also allows us to see physical touch as a means, rather than an end. “If there’s anything to celebrate about the modern LGBTQ community, and if queer culture has anything significant to contribute to the long history of intimacy rites and rituals, it’s an inventive ethics of queer intimacy,” Roach tells me. “It’s an ethic that can yield great pleasure and deep love.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

— Here’s why.

The culture war over transgender rights is part of a fight over competing notions of gender and sexuality, including issues like abortion and sex education

Public opinion on ‘bathroom bills’

Gender logics

The stakes of the culture wars

Experts Explain The Gender Identity

For starters, it *doesn’t* mean you’re bisexual.

What does it mean to be bigender?

What is the difference between bigender, non-binary, genderfluid, pangender, and bisexual?

What does being bigender look like?

Signs that you might be bigender:

How to support bigender loved ones and greater community:

Reframe anxiety as excitement

Talk about it

Redefine sex

Be playful

Bring in sex toys

Don’t feel pressured to orgasm every time

Keep the communication going

Embrace uncertainty

Top tips for great first-time same-sex sex

— Talking to People Who Are Transgender or Nonbinary

Their gender isn’t your call to make

Happy Gay Pride Month!

In honor of gay pride month, a little sex history lesson — The Stonewall Riots

Rise of ‘parental rights’ campaigns

Problems with ‘health outcomes’ approach

“[…] this society wants its children to know nothing; it wants its queer [and trans] children to conform (and this is not a figure of speech) or die; and wants not to know that it is getting what it wants.”

Trans youth framed as threat

Rethinking parental rights

— Terms, pronouns and vocabulary to add to your everyday dictionary

Evidence from various sciences reveals that there are diverse ways of being male, female, or both. An anthropologist argues that embracing these truths will help humans flourish.

Man/woman and masculine/feminine are neither biological terms nor rooted exclusively in biology.

— An Employer’s Guide

Studies of transgender kids are revealing fascinating insights about gender in the brain

How We Learn Gender

Early Differences

The Roots of Gender

“Pink Boys” and Tomboys

1 The basics

2 Gender identity

3 Sexual orientation

4 Terms in the news

Gender exists on a spectrum, with several gender identities to choose from

Gender identity and how we talk about who we are

Agender

Androgynous

Bigender

Butch

Cisgender

Femme

FTM (female-to-male)

Intersex

MTF (male-to-female)

Nonbinary

Pangender

Pronouns

Transgender

Two-spirited

The spectrum of gender identity and gender dysphoria

– Resources and Support if You’re Discovering Your Sexual Orientation

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

Your safety is important.

You don’t have to justify or explain your identity to anyone you don’t want to.

You aren’t alone.

Find support and comfort through queer representation.

You can always reach out for help if you need it.

Nonsurgical Treatments

Surgical Treatments

— and it’s time you straights caught on

Allow me to impart some wisdom upon the cishet masses.

Sex doesn’t have to be the defining factor of your relationships

Strong friendships come from a shared understanding of the world

The future of friendships looks pretty queer

For starters, it doesn’t mean you’re bisexual.