SEX WISDOM with Mistress Matisse – Podcast #215 – 06/30/10

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Hey sex fans,

Today is the last day of my special Pride month spectacular. I promised you at the beginning of the month we’d have a kick-ass line up of guests and I kept that promise. We started off with a visit to the lair of the Queen of Kink Couture, Tonya Winter. Then we chatted with the exquisitely edgy photographer, Boots Bryant. Then the brilliant songsters, John & Cass, aka The Wet Spots, thrilled us with their sexy music. And now I have the pleasure of welcoming… the one and only, Mistress Matisse. I mean, holy cow; where else can you find such diverse and entertaining programming?

It’s true, my favorite sex columnist, blogger and podcaster, the internationally acclaimed Pro-Dom, Mistress Matisse, is in the house. She’s here as part of the SEX WISDOM podcast series, don’t cha know. This is the series where we chat with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

Matisse has someone special with her today, who she will introduce in a moment. But first one word of caution; you may hear some whining and whimpering in the background of today’s program. Those sound effects are provided by my dog, Ginger. I tell you this because I don’t want you to get the wrong idea and think that was me! Although god knows, the incredibly sexy and oh so entertaining Mistress Matisse makes even me, a big fat homo, weak in the knees.

Matisse and I discuss:

  • The Pacific Northwest as a hotbed of perversion.
  • Her frank and no-hold-bared style of sex talk.
  • Becoming Mistress Matisse.
  • Class structures and sex work.
  • The Politics of Blowjobs.
  • If it’s not one thing, It’s your mother.
  • Bridging Pleasure and Danger.
  • Cisgender, transgender and the dangers of binary thinking.

Matisse invites you to enter her world and visit her on one or all of her websites HERE, HERE or HERE! Or read her Control Tower column at The Stranger HERE!

See a slideshow of Matisse & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Tonya Winter, Part 2 – Podcast #211 – 06/09/10

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Hey sex fans,

Today we return to the cavernous workspace of Queen of Kink Couture, Tonya Winter. This week’s audio pilgrimage marks Part 2 of our conversation and her highly anticipated return as part of the Sex EDGE-U-cation as well as The Erotic Mind podcast series

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 or our conversation that appeared here last week, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in my Podcast Archive. All ya gotta do is use the site’s search function in the sidebar to your right; type in Podcast #209 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Tonya and I discuss:

  • Materials and design specifics.
  • Darlex, Spandex, PVC, Stretch Mesh.
  • Arm binders & sleep sacks.
  • Her kinky life.
  • The unique bondage experience using her materials.
  • Endorphins & adrenalin.
  • Power play — bottoming, topping and empathy.
  • The recreation and cathartic aspects of power play.
  • Her sexual heroes.

Be sure to visit Tonya at her websites HERE and HERE! She’s even on Facebook HERE!

See another slideshow of some Tonya’s brilliant work below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Tonya Winter – Podcast #209 – 06/02/10

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Ya’ll know June is Gay Pride month, right? And if you don’t believe me, ask President Obama. He made the official declaration again this year on May 28th, 2010.
As you may also know, he is the first president in our glorious history to do so. So hurray for him! And an even bigger hurray for all us queer folk on this 41st anniversary of the birth of the modern gay rights movement.

I have a knock-you-out line up of guest for this special month. And to kick things off, so to speak, we take another audio field trip. I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming another Seattle-based personality, the veritable Queen of Kink Couture, Tonya Winter. We visit with her in her cavernous new workspace, don’t cha know.

And you should also know that you’re getting a double bang for your buck today, because Tonya is another twofer. She is here as part of the Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series as well as The Erotic Mind series. So yeah for that!

Tonya and I discuss:

  • Seattle being a hotbed of perversion.
  • Her new workspace in the SODO district of Seattle.
  • What accounts for her remarkable success.
  • Her unique designs.
  • Her humble kinky beginnings.
  • Her commitment to community service.
  • Her creative process.
  • Her secret grand plan.

Be sure to visit Tonya at her websites HERE and HERE! She’s even on Facebook HERE!

See a slideshow of some Tonya’s brilliant work.


 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

 

Just a teensy bit naughty

It’s Product Review Friday and we veer a little to the kinkier side of things. Thanks to our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com we have a handful of edgier toys to tell you about.

Here to spread the news are Dr Dick Review Crew members — Ken & Denise, Christa, Jack & Karen and Brad.

So without further ado…

Leather Wrist Restraints W/Red Hearts —— $39.20

Ken & Denise
Denise: “We scored big time with these fantastic Leather Wrist Restraints. These things are the real deal too.”
Ken: “Yeah, I was hoping we’d finally score some good kinky shit, because we were getting tired of reviewing the awful stuff that had been coming our way lately.”
Denise: “So true! But these beautiful black Leather Wrist Restraints with the playful red leather heart inlay design make up for recent disappointments.”
Ken: “Like Denise said; these are the real deal — sturdy black leather and metal studs and buckles. Very hot!”
Denise: “They are comfortable, because they are totally adjustable. There are 11 holes for the buckle. I have very small wrists and Ken has massive wrists and these Leather Wrist Restraints fit us both. They don’t have a lining, like some restraints I’ve seen, but the leather is soft and the edges are sealed and rounded so they don’t cut off my circulation when I’m wearing them.”
Ken: “They also work as ankle restraints for Denise, because she is so petite. But they aren’t big enough for my ankles. I wonder; do they make matching ankle restraints in a men’s size?”
Denise: “If you think you may enjoy a little role-play or power-play, these are the Leather Wrist Restraints for you. They are relatively inexpensive, but they are built to last.
Full Review HERE

Keeping with our heart theme…

25.5” Red Metallic Heart Bat —— $24.93

Christa
They call this thing a Red Metallic Heart Bat, but it looks, feels and handles more like a riding crop. But whatever you call it, it is fuckin SWEET!

I brought the Red Metallic Heart Bat home the other day; pulled it out of the bag and I thought my sub, butt-boy BF, Alex , was gonna swoon. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. He’s like this total ass whore. I was his first girlfriend to finger him and play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me; fuck me; fuck me all the time. So now I have a little something to smack his ass with when I’m pegging the livin’ daylights out of him.

A crop is not as painful as a paddle, but it still offers up a great sting. And if you smack the bare skin just right, besides getting a very satisfying snap, you get this adorable heart imprint. Nothing says love to your sub like a heart-shaped welt on his behind.

The Red Metallic Heart Bat is exceptionally stylish as well as being very practical. It’s 25.5” long; it has black plastic stitching up the length of the stem, which is topped off with the red leather heart. It has a leatherette handle with nice metal finishings.

I have to admit I got totally wet the first time I used this crop on Alex. I had him bend over the arm of the couch and drop his drawers. He, of course, obediently obliged me. I came up behind him and began to tickle his ass and balls with Red Metallic Heart Bat. He immediately got hard and started to ooze precum. I spread his legs farther apart and lubed up his hole. I had his favorite butt plug lubed and ready. As I placed it against his pucker and pressed it home, I brought down the crop with a snap. I swear; Alex didn’t know what hit him. He let out with an animal like sound; a kind of howl and a scream together, so I knew I hit my mark, both literally and figuratively.
Full Review HERE

Nipplettes Purple —— $20.45

Jack & Karen
Jack: “So here’s some fun for everyone.Nipplettes are cute vibrating tit clamps.”
Karen: “They are adjustable, although they never really clamp all that tightly. Which makes them great for beginners. They are easy to operate; a simple one push-button control turns them on and off. There’s just the one speed.”
Jack: “Nipplettes don’t have a very strong bullet vibe either. But I guess novice players wouldn’t want the vibration to be all that strong anyway, right?”
Karen: “Nipplettes look like clothes pins with the bullet vibe inside the top of the clamp. They are made of plastic with a rubber coating that makes them even less scary to play with.”
Jack: “They are battery operated, but not waterproof. The package says they are waterproof, but they are NOT. So be careful there. Karen mentioned they are adjustable; and they are. You adjust them by twisting a small plastic screw on the base of the clamp.”
Karen: “The vibe is relatively quiet, but they do have a tendency to rattle, which was a little annoying.”
Jack: “We found that Nipplettes can only be used while laying down. Since the clamping action isn’t very strong they tend to fall off if you’re standing of sitting. This was the really annoying part. I mean if you can’t move around while they’re on, what good are they?”
Karen: “Oh, and we happily discovered that Nipplettes are not just for your nipples. In fact, I think they are better suited to other parts of the body.  I used them on my labia and clit and totally loved it. Jack used them on his foreskin and his testicles, and he like that a lot too.”
Full Review HERE

Finally, we have…

Pecker Ball Gag —— $9.59

Brad
I though to myself, so ok I know this isn’t a professional grade ball gag, but it could be fun. And I was right…at least the first couple of times me and the GF played around with the Pecker Ball Gag.

It has this soft, little penis shaped gag the size and shape of a Champagne cork. It’s not really a gag, because you actually bite down on it. So it’s more like for show than it is for serious. But we knew this is just for fun and it would be the perfect thing for beginners.

The “gag” stays in place by means of an adjustable leather strap, which is pretty sturdy, but not all that long. So if you have a big head like me, you won’t be the one wearing the gag.

So far so good, right?

Unfortunately there are these two other little straps on either side of the gag that that connects it to the sturdy neck strap and they are like totally fuckin lame. We used the Pecker Ball Gag exactly twice before one of the little straps broke rendering the entire thing useless. WTF? This just goes to show you that a toy is only as good as its weakest part.
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Andrea Zanin – Podcast #172 – 12/02/09

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Hey sex fans,

Back in early February of this year I launched this new series of podcast interviews called Sex EDGE-U-cation.  I promised back then that this series would take a look at the fascinating world of fetish sex and kink. We’d touch on topics both familiar and exotic.  I remember telling that I could guarantee that our investigation will be interesting, stimulating and very informative, because we would be chatting with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.AndreaZanin

Well then, here we are ten months later and we’re still going strong.  My first guest in this series, Dart, introduced me to today’s guest way back in February.  But its only now that I finally have this opportunity to introduce her to you.  Join me in welcoming the amazing Andrea Zanin.  She is my last guest in this series for 2009, and she’s a humdinger, don’t cha know.

Andrea is also from Toronto, as is Dart, and like him she is internationally known and respected.  She’s a writer and educator within the queer, polyamory and BDSM/leather communities.  And she bring a unique voice to this ever growing chorus of exceptional guests in this series.

Andrea and I discuss:

  • Her life as a grad student, community activist, teacher and writer.
  • Being a sex geek and blogging since 2006.
  • Her site being a virtual graduate course in human sexuality.
  • Presenting on college campuses.
  • Being a leather dyke and being a judge for leather contests.
  • Power play, BDSM and fetishes.
  • The currency of power, consent and negotiations.
  • Being a Dom in power play and a switch in sensation play.

You can visit Andrea on her website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by:  Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Tony Buff, Part 2 – Podcast #170 – 11/25/09

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Hey sex fans,

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I have the holiday treat you’ve all been waiting for. tonyBuff_20091114_wDerekDaSilva Porn star, activist, educator, rigger and Dom. Tony Buff, Is back with us for more of his unique Sex EDGE-U-cation.

Part 1 of my chat with Tony, which appeared last week at this time, is the most popular interview podcast to date.  It broke all download records for a single podcast in a single week, so yea for that.  But wait, did you somehow miss last week’s installment?  We’ll that’s just not right!  But don’t worry; you can make it up.  All my podcasts are archived right here.  All ya have to do is use the site’s search function to your right; type in Podcast #168 and presto!  Don’t forget the #sign when you do your search

Tony and I discuss:

  • His fan base that includes loads of kinky women.
  • His polyamorous relations that includes Derek da Silva and Chris Yosef.
  • Open, honest communication the key to relationship success.
  • Power Play — how he started and his life now.
  • Being a power switch.
  • Exhilaration of creating scenes for his sub.
  • Cathartic and recreational aspects of BDSM.
  • The importance of working with sex positive & kink-positive healing and helping professionals.

Be sure to visit Tony on his kick-ass site HERE!

See a slideshow of Tony & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Tony Buff – Podcast #168 – 11/18/09

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Hey sex fans,

Did you miss me last week?  I know, I know; it was beyond my control.  Sorry to disappoint.  But, to make it up to you, I have the real deal for you today.  That’s right, we’re gonna get some mighty impressive Sex EDGE-U-cation from one of the luminaries of gay porn.  I’m talkin big, big star here people, and that’s both literally and figuratively, if ya catch my drift.tonyBuff_20091114_08

I have the pleasure of welcoming a tireless activist, compelling educator, masterful rigger and superb Dom.  He also directs as well as performs in his signature line of critically acclaimed fetish movies. He is the one and only Tony Buff.

If you know anything about BDSM, rope bondage or power play, you will probably know his name.  And if you are a connoisseur of cutting edge smut, well then, I know you are a huge fan of this amazing man, just like me.

Tony brings the same intensity and focus of his on screen performances to this interview.  And he adds his unique voice to the ever-growing chorus of prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles that is this podcast series.

Tony and I discuss:

  • Body double, or just a cock double?
  • The Pacific Northwest as a hotbed of perversion.
  • His on screen persona being the same as his off screen persona.
  • How he got his start in porn.
  • The workshops he and Derek da Silva present together.
  • His mentors — Max and Monk.
  • His collaboration with Titan Media, The Rough Line.
  • Challenges, opportunities and the future of porn.
  • The bareback phenomenon.
  • A More Nuanced Position.

Be sure to visit Tony on his kick-ass site HERE!

See a slideshow of Tony & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…

Name: John
Gender:  Male
Age: 16
Location: San Diego
My dick is kinda small.  I want to add 3-5 inches.  How do I do that?

Jeez, this is just about my least favorite topic of all.  I keep promising myself that I won’t small_cock1respond to anymore “how do I grow my dick bigger?” questions.  And then along comes a young pup, like you John, and asks the question again.  Here’s a tip, everything I have to say about cock enlargement schemes I’ve already said.  If you want to know my thoughts about this wearisome topic scroll use my site’s search function in the sidebar to your right.  Search with key words like “cock shape”, “cock size” and “jelqing”.  Once you read through all columns and listen to the podcasts you will have all the information you seek.

Here’s a bit of an overview of what you’ll find.  First, you’re not even completely through puberty yet, John.  So if you could just chill out for a couple more years till your growing spurt is complete, you might find that nature itself will resolve your issue for you.  If, by chance, you find that by your 18th birthday your cock is no bigger than it currently is, then it’s time to make your peace with your piece.  Because basically that’s the dick you’re gonna have to work with for the rest of your life.

In other words, you have about as much chance of growing a bigger dick than what your genetics has determined for you as you do growing your feet bigger or adding inches to your height or changing the color of your skin.  It’s simply not gonna happen.  There is no true way of safely increasing either the width or the length of your johnson, short of a small_cock3surgical intervention. And I never recommend that.

Just like there are ways to give the illusion of bigger feet, darker or lighter skin or being taller than you really are, there are things you can do to create the illusion that you’re growin’ yourself a bigger dick.  But all the creams, the jelqing, the pumps, the weights the what-have-you, will only have a short-term effect if they have any effect at all.  In the end you will have spent a whole lot of money, wasted a lot of time, been consumed with a great deal of anxiety and possibly even injured yourself to wind up having what you’ve always had and not significantly more.

May I suggest that you practice accepting what genetics has determined for you in terms of cock size and everything else.  Because that will give you more time and energy to learn how to use what you have to its greatest benefit.  Luckily, our capacity to be a good, and even great, lover has nothing to do with the size of our cock.  Anyone who tries to tell you different is pullin’ your leg.

Name: Laurel
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location: San Francisco
My best friend, someone I truly love, has been really getting into S&M lately.  Some weeks ago she told me she now has a full-time slave.  She says it’s a lifestyle thing, but I still don’t get it.  The problem I have is that this isn’t a private thing between her and this guy. She parades it around and treats him like a slave 24 hours a day.  I find this really disturbing and it’s like she does this just to annoy me.  My husband and I are complete equals in every way.  I can’t get comfortable watching my friend humiliate and degrade someone like this.  My friend says I should just quit being so uptight.  Is this really just a question of me being closed-minded?  Or is there something radically wrong with someone wanting to humiliate and degrade someone else?

How did your best friend’s lifestyle choices, whatever they might be, suddenly become all about you?  If you really cared for this person as much as you say you do, or better yet, as much as you care for yourself and your delicate sensitivities you’d try to look beyond your superficial appreciation of what’s going on with your friend and her slave.

fem-domYou say your problem with your friend is that she doesn’t keep her perversion private; rather she and her man slave “parade around” 24hr a day.  What, you’d prefer she be a dilettante kinkster? Hell I give her credit for taking this thing seriously.  So many others compartmentalize their lives — this is me for my family and friends — this is me for playmates — and this over here is my secret me.

As to your friend, I doubt that she gives a flying fuck if her public antics annoy you.  In fact, that may very well be why she does it.  Let’s try and look at this as dispassionately as possible.  Your friend, by being so public with her kink, has entered the realm of political and sexual theater.  That is not in any way meant to diminish her commitment to her lifestyle.  On the contrary, only someone who is totally into this would have the fortitude to constantly poke a finger in the eye of polite society.  She has a message for you and us. And I suspect that it has something to do with the unfortunate sex-role stereotyping and stultifying gender conventions that plague our buttoned down society.  But best you get that directly from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.

I have no way of knowing why your friend does what she does, but she belongs to a very long and venerable tradition of flying in the face of the popular culture.  Sure she risks being cut off by you and ostracized by others.  And that has to hurt on some level even for those way out on the fringe.  Like all political theatrics she draws you into her world, albeit as an unwilling participant. Humiliating her slave in front of squeamish folks, like you, who don’t share her kink is asking for more than tolerance that’s for sure.  One could make the case that her behavior is foolhardy and counterproductive.  What’s for certain is she’s walking a fine line between performance art and alienation.  In the end, Laurel, you may find that it is you who will need to set the boundaries.slave

And I don’t think this is simply a question of you being too up tight.  But I fear that you are using a conventional mindset to try and decipher these very interesting goings on.  That’s simply not gonna work.  Like I said earlier, she’s being this public about what most people, including yourself, think should be private because she wants to make a statement.  I suspect your conventional mindset doesn’t know what to make of consensual power-play, which is precisely what this is.

You point out that you would never humiliate your husband like this.  No kidding?  Of course you and hubby aren’t engaged in consensual power-play, are you?  Because if you were, you’d understand your friend a whole lot better, even if you still disapproved of her public performances.

If you find your friend’s lifestyle so disturbing, you could simply ask her to chill the scene when you’re around.  She may or may not comply.  Another solution might be that you ask her for some alone time, just she and you, without her slave.  Hell, even a slave get a day off from time to time.  Again she may or may not comply.  If no arrangement can be made, then perhaps it’s time to part ways.  Hopefully you guys could do that with as little acrimony as possible.  There’s no need to burn bridges over this.  Who knows this might be a phase she’s going through…ya know trying to show everyone how edgy she is.  In time she might very well find that the fringe is not all that comfortable and decide to keep her kink more to herself.

Name: Jack
Gender:
Age: 52
Location: Milwaukee
I’ve been dating this guy for over a year.  He is the love of my life.  I love him so much, but he treats me like shit.  I met him on vacation in Florida.  He’s 26 a stunning, 6’3” 200lbs, blond surfer Adonis.  And excuse me for being so graphic; he has the biggest dick I’d ever seen.  The first time we had sex I saw stars.  He filled me up like no other person has.
When I got home we exchanged emails nearly every day and even had some hot phone sex a couple of times.  He was down on his luck, because he lost his barista job for coming to work stoned too many times.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I invited him to come live with me.  I flew him up, but I told him that this wouldn’t be a free ride, he’d have to stop smoking so much dope and get a job and he agreed.
The sex was fantastic for the first couple of months, but once he established himself as a star at the gym he found his own friends and now I don’t see too much of him.  He eats my food and drinks my liquor and drives my car.  I pay for his cloths and gym membership.  He has yet to find a job.
I know I should just end it, but I love him and I would really miss the sex.  My friends ridicule me for thinking he loves me as much as I love him.  They tell me they know he sees other guys.  I’m so turned around I don’t know what to do.

Like my momma always used to say:  if it’s got wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have problems with it.  And I would add, if it’s got big wheels or a big dick you know you’re gonna have BIG problems with it.

Before we turn our attention to your no good boyfriend, let me make a few quick hot guyobservations about you.  You’re a freakin’ mess, girlfriend! I mean really, you’ve broken all the cardinal rules about dating a hustler.  I know, I can hear you now…oh no dr dick, he’s not a hustler; he’s a good kid who’s just down on his luck and I’m just trying to help.  Bullshit!

Ya see, that’s the first cardinal rule of dating a hustler is never lose sight of the fact that he’s a hustler and you’re his john.  Don’t get me wrong; I have the deepest admiration for hustlers and their johns.  It’s just that this arrangement only works if everyone is clear about the ground rules.   And here are the ground rules — rich older gentleman connects with needy younger hunky stud for mutual benefit.  Rich older gentleman keeps needy younger hunky stud in room and board, booze, cloths, car, gym membership and the like; and needy younger hunky stud buggers rich older gentleman senseless with his big blond surfer-boy dick.  Get it?  Got it?  Good!

Second cardinal rule — what happens on vacation should stay on vacation.  Vacation sex, as wonderful and delicious as it may be, does not transplant very well to your non-vacation life.  You’re more likely to have success transplanting a delicate tropical orchid to your Milwaukee backyard than transplanting a vacation hustler fuck to your work-a-day world back home.

Third cardinal rule —don’t try to gloss a perfectly fine, fully functional and even an affectionate hustler/john relationship with talk of love.  It’s unnecessary, unseemly and untrue.  It’s lust, it’s limerence, it’s love sickness, whatever…it’s just not love.  Because LOVE don’t ever make you feel as bad as you’re feelin’.  Probably your friends would have less difficulty with your mooning over this guy if you were more honest about the nature of this relationship.  They wouldn’t be rubbing your face in the evidence that surfer-boy is pluggin’ other dudes.

Fourth cardinal rule — a size queen, like you Jack, should admit that you are enamored with the guy hose and how it fills you up plain and simple.  To pretend that you would string yourself out like this for a guy with tiny meat is just that — pretense.  Listen, there’s nothin’ wrong with bein’ a size queen, it’s the dishonesty I object to.

How is this young fella ever supposed to respect you when you don’t respect for yourself?  He probably had you pegged (no pun intended) back on the beach in the sunshine state. He knows you will tolerate his misbehavior, which of course gives him permission to do whatever he feels like doing whenever he feel like doing it.  And now he don’t even have to give up the occasional mercy fuck any more, even though that was surely part of the deal at the get go, right?

So the waif has yet to find a job after a year, huh?  Why is that not surprising?  But even a hustler needs his mad money, besides what is doled out to him by his long-suffering john.  I’d be willing to guess Mr. surfer dude is turning tricks to keep himself in weed and other essentials.

hot_guy2Thing is, this fellow probably would have treated you better if you would have just stuck to the hustler/john script.  Ya see, kids like this need structure.  He may have looked to you for this at one time, but when he realized that he had you cock-whipped, the teachable moment evaporated.  This lad is probably like most other boys with big dicks.  They learn early on that their cock gives them enormous power, because it is the object of desire for so many.  He soon discovered that you were no different than all the other men (and some women) in his life — only interested in owning a piece of his sizeable endowment.  And so he turned the tables on you.  You can hardly fault the guy.  You try to manipulate him with your money.  He outwits you and manipulates you with his dick.

If you’re really serious about reining in the little monkey, you’d better come up with a clear, unambiguous message about what you will and will not tolerate.  And it better be something more than “I expect you to bone my scrawny middle-aged ass on occasion.” Because, until you do, he will roam wherever and whenever he wants.

There are many root causes for his behavior, just like there are many root causes for your behavior.  But since I’m talking to you, not him, I suggest that you get to the bottom of all of this by investing a good deal of time and energy with a competent sex-positive therapist. There’s one thing I can say for certain, if the status quo continues your resentment will boil over one day and there will be violence, the kind of violence that you may not think yourself capable of now.  But violence there will be; you can bank on it!

Is there enough goodwill between the two of you to resolve this unfortunate situation amicably?  Who knows!  If I had to guess, I’d say there was a slim to no chance for that.  If that’s the case, I advise you pack him up and put him on the next plane south.  And no more relationships for you, particularly with unemployed young men with massive schlongs, till you get your head screwed on tighter.

Good Luck Ya’ll

Claire Adams, Part 2 — Podcast #155 — 09/23/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

The amazing Claire Adams returns with more of her special brand of Sex EDGE-U-cation.  This is Part 2 of our chat and we’ll be discussing a lot of things including her bondage porn career.

As you know, in this podcast series we take a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and bl51a6vaalternative sexual lifestyles; and chat with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.  And no one fits this bill better than Claire.

If you somehow missed Part 1 of this insightful discussion look for last week’s podcast #153.  Simply use my site’s search function in the sidebar to your right.  Type in Podcast #153, but don’t forget the # sign.

Claire and I discuss:

  • Fem-Dom — male-submission.
  • The intricacies of Bondage Porn.
  • Bondage as a means to an end and as an end in itself.
  • Her role preferences for Dom or sub.
  • The corresponding highs and lows of each role.
  • Endorphins and adrenaline.
  • Top-drop and bottom-drop.
  • Archetypes and predispositions.
  • The need for chemistry with potential play partners.
  • Her sexual heroes.

For more of Claire visit her on one of her professional sites: clairebondage.com, petitekink.com Or her rope site vintagerope.com and her Master, Damon Pierce’s site: slavetobondage.com.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by:  Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Claire Adams — Podcast #153 — 09/16/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

As I mentioned at the beginning of Monday’s podcast, over the next two weeks, and on both Mondays and Wednesdays, I will be featuring two absolutely amazing women in my podcasts.  Both of these very talented women are taking a lead role in helping change our society’s perception of female sexuality and the gift of physical beauty.  And each is doing it from what might, at first glance, appear to be the polar opposite of the other.  But I MsAdamsBiobelieve appearances can be deceiving.

On Monday I introduced you to the ultimate photographer of the female nude, Leanne Bell, as part of The Erotic Mind series.  Today, as part of my Sex EDGE-U-cation series, I have the pleasure of welcoming the internationally renowned teacher, BDSM advocate and on camera performer, Pro-Dom, pro-sub, bondage master, and video director, Claire Adams.  She’s here to share something of her amazing life with us.

Both of my guests are extraordinarily passionate women who are completely immersed in their work.  And their fervor is infused by a philosophy of empowerment and the beauty of women as full-fledged sexual beings.  These podcasts are not to be missed!

Claire and I discuss:

  • Her real life as a rope bottom, submissive and slave.
  • ClaireBondage.com — a unique mix of porn and BDSM.
  • Bondage games and predicament bondage.
  • Being a collared sub,
  • RACK — Risk Aware Consensual Kink.
  • Claire the contortionist.
  • How se began her life in kink.
  • Damon & Claire, purveyors of high quality rope kits.
  • Her life as a Pro-Dom and her ability to switch between Dom and sub roles.

For more of Claire visit her on one of her professional sites: clairebondage.com, petitekink.com Or her rope site vintagerope.com and her Master, Damon Pierce’s site: slavetobondage.com.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

More Sex EDGE-U-cation with Lady HotchKiss – Podcast #148 – 08/26/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with that delicious Georgia peach, Lady HotchKiss, for more of her unique Sex EDGE-U-cation.  In this series of podcasts we are looking at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles.  But you know that already, huh?Attitude

Did you somehow miss last week’s show?  That’s a pity!  Because Lady HotchKiss spilled the beans about her life with her two slaves.  Does that peak your interest?  I thought it would.  You’ll find last week’s podcast by using my site’s search function in the sidebar.  Type in Podcast #146, but be sure to include the #sign.

I’m so lovin this conversation, because Lady HotchKiss is bendin’ my mind big time. This week we shift gears a bit; Lady HotchKiss takes us on a little tour of her Pro-Dom life.  We get way more eye-opening chat and loads of laughs too.  You don’t want to miss a moment of this.

Lady HotchKiss and I discuss:

  • Pro-Dom activities —
  • ——Interrogation  to medical play; tickling to slave training.
  • BDSM etiquette and protocols.
  • Sexuality/Genitality/Power play.
  • Tips for the novice kinkster.
  • What newbies need to know.
  • Care to “munch”?
  • The need for kink-positive healing and  helping professionals.

Be sure to visit Lady HotchKiss at her websites HERE and HERE!

See a slideshow of the fabulous Lady HotchKiss at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Sex EDGE-U-cation with Lady HotchKiss – Podcast #146 – 08/19/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

Today we travel to Atlanta, GA for some mighty fine Sex EDGE-U-cation.  We chat with an amazing woman.  She’s pretty as all get out, but don’t let her sweet looks fool you.  She is the consummate Fem Domme, I mean right down to the marrow in her bones.  Crouching GlassesBut if that’s not enough to turn your crank, she has a multitude of facets to her delightful personality, not least among them being a domestic goddess.  And she actually made Dr Dick blush.  Not everyone can do that!

I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming the renowned and nationally respected dominatrix, Lady HotchKiss.

In this series of podcasts we are looking at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles. We investigate topics both familiar and exotic.  And we chat with prominent educators, practitioners and advocates of unconventional sexual expressions and lifestyles from all over the world.

Lady HotchKiss and I will be exploring all sorts of interesting topics including her idyllic family life with her two slaves.  This is edgy and thought provoking stuff, sex fans.  You don’t want to miss a moment of this.

Lady HotchKiss and I discuss:

  • Her 24/7 life as a Dom.
  • The psychological dimensions of having two slaves.
  • The prevalence of the Fem/Dom archetype in fashion and the popular culture.
  • Being a domestic goddess.
  • M/s protocols.
  • The symbiotic relationship between Master and slave.
  • Bottom/sub/slave; not just a question of semantics.

Be sure to visit Lady HotchKiss at her websites HERE and HERE!

See a slideshow of the fabulous Lady HotchKiss at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Chris Yosef, Part 2 – Podcast #144 – 08/12/09

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

We’re back with Part 2 of my conversation with Chris Yosef.  And this is part of my acdsc_8532Sex EDGE-U-cation podcast series, don’t cha know.  It’s where we take a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative sexual lifestyles.

Part 1 of this chat with Chris was so freakin popular it broke all download records for any podcast during its first week after its posting.  Of course I made my mother and her bridge club listen to it over and over to rack up the numbers.  Just kidding!

If you some how missed Part 1 of this interesting discussion look for Podcast #142.  Use my site’s search function to your right — type in Podcast #142, and presto!  But don’t forget to include the # sign.

Chris and I discuss:

  • The Dom/sub archetype.
  • Is there such a thing as Dom/sub pheromones?
  • His far-flung poly-family and the pressures of being so high profile.
  • Power play with both women and men.
  • Chris & Tony in the movies.
  • The Rough Line; real players with an accent on safe sex.

And for an up close and personal view of my guest and his polyamorous family, visit Chris on his blog HERE!

See a slideshow of Chris & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.


BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.