Category Archives: Cbt

Guess What, Honey? I’m A Kinky Old Perv!

And now, by popular demand, a reprint of an old favorite.

So you’ve met the person of your dreams only you haven’t got around to telling your new honey your dirty little secret. The sweet thing hasn’t a clue that you’re itchin’ for some big-time bondage. Or that you’d sell your soul to be dominated like the lowly little bitch that you are. Or you’re salivating over that dildo you have tucked away in the attic—you know, the one that could be mistaken for a floor lamp. Or you’re craving to be spanked til your shameless ass glows in the dark. Or you want to hump his/her feet like a dog and gobble up his/her toejam. Or you have this nasty little thing about spike heels, frilly knickers and jungle red lipstick.

Never fear—Dr. Dick has heard it all a million times before. Some sorry pervert’s got it bad for white bread.

Dear Dr. Dick,
Help! I’m in love with the sweetest guy/gal in the word, but our sex life is all vanilla all the time. I’m bored shitless! I know how to liven things up, you see I have this fetish (you fill in the blank) but I don’t know how to tell him/her about it and I’m afraid s/he’ll freak if s/he finds out. What’s a perv to do?

Introducing your partner to your personal world of kink can be a little tricky; the whole love match could blow up in your face. But a life of pretense and sexual boredom isn’t the way to go, either. Why not just stand tall like the filthy pervert you are and brazenly proclaim your fetish to Little Miss Mary Sunshine? After all, unless your boyfriend or gal-pal is as dumb as a post s/he’s already figured out that your mutual sex life walks with a pronounced limp (or perhaps is suffering from a case of the gout). Besides, there’s nothing more satisfying than corrupting an innocent. Who knows—s/he may have secrets of his/her own.

Case in point. Here’s part of an exchange I had with a young man from Omaha.

Dear Doc,
I’m 23, and I’ve been dating 30-year-old chick for nearly a year now. I come from a very conservative Christian upbringing and I love that she is more experienced than me. My girlfriend likes to tie me up. I’m a college gymnast so I have very defined muscles. They are a huge turn on for my girlfriend, which I guess explains why she likes to see me struggle against the rope. I get real turned on too when I’m tied up. Sometimes she teases my penis and testicles with a feather or a piece of leather, which drives me wild. I’m worried though, because I think this is gonna warp me somehow. Do you think this is perverted? Why is it so much fun?

Ahhh yeah, Jake, I do think it’s perverted. I think your girlfriend is a big fat pervert and I think you’re still just a teensy-weensy little pervert—but well on your way to Big Fat Perverthood (note: Big Fat Perverthood is not a clinical term; just something we toss around the office for fun), just like your girlfriend. And why is this bondage thing so much fun? It’s such a blast because it IS perverted, IS nasty and IS forbidden, silly! One can only guess what your fundamentalist Christian mom and dad would think about their star athlete son trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey while a considerably older dominatrix punishes his family jewels. I fear this apple has fallen a great distance from the tree, right, Jake? I absolutely love it!

Okay, back to telling your partner about your kink. Here’s what I suggest. Casually direct the conversation to the amazing variety of human sexual expression. You could reassure your sweetie that just because some things are unfamiliar to her/him doesn’t make them bad. Tell him/her that you’ve been waiting for your relationship to mature so that you could share the intricacies of your desires with him/her. This can be one of those precious bonding moments that Oprah is always going on about.

This might be a good time to view that special video you picked up in the kink section of the local porn emporium. Invite her/him to explore your fantasy with you. Tell the little flower that your love for him/her demands that you share the fullness of your sexuality with her/him. Then pick one turn-on for the two of you to experiment with—lingerie, toys, dominance and submission, pee, role-playing—whatever your hearts desire.

Decide on a safe-word, an out-of-context word your partner can use if the experiment is heading in an uncomfortable direction. For example, if the dildo is too big or the lipstick is too red, s/he could say “pickles.” The safe-word, when uttered in the scenario, will let you know that you need to change direction or slow down without completely destroying the built-up sexual energy.

If this initiation process doesn’t work, Dr. Dick suggests that you cut your losses and dump the white bread. Go out and find yourself a kindred spirit, someone you won’t have to apologize to for being creative in your sex play. Because, as we all know, the key to fantastic sex is all about communicating – and if you can’t be honest about what you want, then it won’t be long until you’re looking around, wondering how the hell you got to a sex life full of furtive, 2 minute, missionary position encounters. And life is way too short for that crap.

More Sex EDGE-U-cation with Mistress Katherine — Podcast #245 – 11/10/10


Hey sex fans,

I loves me some Mistress Katherine! And I’m not ashamed to admit it either. And from the looks of the download numbers from last week’s podcast featuring the divine Mistress, it appears you dig her big time too. So when we ran out of time last week and I asked her to come back this week to dispense even more of her signature Sex EDGE-U-cation, she was gracious enough to say yes. Lucky for me Katherine didn’t even make me beg or grovel, though, god knows, I surely would have.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation, did you? Well don’t worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. Look for the search function in the header, type in Podcast #243 and faster than you can say ‘Pro-Dom’ you’ll be taken to paradise! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Katherine and I discuss:

  • The political nature of sex work;
  • Foot and leg worship;
  • CBT & NT;
  • Feminization;
  • Needle play;
  • Fantasy role-play;
  • The truisms of our sexuality;
  • Working with and playing with both women and men;
  • Providing a safe and secure place to investigate one’s sexuality.

Katherine encourages you to visit her on her personal website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Fleshlight & FleshJack.

Kinky LITE

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we another selection of products for the burgeoning  kinkster. We have our friends at Adult Sex Toys .com to thank for all these toys.

And today we welcome two new Dr Dick Review Crew members — the oh so charming couple —  Rod & Eric.

Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit —— $26.70

Rod
Many years ago I had a boyfriend that liked to use my neckties to tie me to his metal bed frame and have his way with me. Ahhh fond memories of days gone by. So with this rather rousing recollection I was excited to try out the Fetish Fantasy Series – Chains of Love Bondage Kit. This kit comes with chained wrist restraints with adjustable cuffs; chained ankle restraints with adjustable cuffs; a leather love mask; 2 hot wax candles; and a leather whip.

From our point of view, the packaging leaves a great deal to be desired. While there was a pretty sexy guy on the front there was only a woman with him. We think the box should show other model alternatives — two guys, or two gals for instance. Or maybe there should be other packaging options that are more inclusive. We thought that just having the one male/female option was off-putting to a big segment of the perspective customer base; like us for example, a gay couple.

Anyway, the description promises that you can act out your darkest desires and take turns role-playing with your lover. That sounded like a plan so Eric and I hopped on the bed and poured out the contents of the box to get started.

The first thing we noticed about Chains of Love Bondage Kit is the smell. YUK! I was a chemist in a former life; and the first thing I thought of was not erotic foreplay, but the need to look for a hazmat bag to dispose of this stuff. It smelled as if someone had just varnished a room full of wood. And given the smell I can tell you it was not MY wood, because the offending odor was a real boner killer! Off gas, the chemical smell I just described, indicates toxicity.

But being the diligent (not to mention horny) couple that we are we persevered. I volunteered for the submissive role. And having in the past enjoyed being restrained I let Eric put me in both the wrist and ankle cuffs. They come with Velcro for quick release in case you forget your safe word or have to make an impromptu bathroom run. Unfortunately, we never had to worry about that. Once the cuffs were in place. I adjusted my weight a bit and in doing so I moved my legs slightly. The “chains” joining the ankle cuffs broke! When I reached down with my manacled hands to investigate this regrettable turn of events; the wrist restraints chain broke too. So much for the bondage concept! Did anyone at the factory bother to test this shit before sending it out to unsuspecting customers?

Additionally the “leather whip” looks like tassels from a little girl’s bicycle that were spray-painted black. This isn’t the least bit erotic; it is, however, a freakin joke. Actually the mask is OK and we did use the two “hot wax” candles during a storm so not all was lost. The rest of it we tossed in the trash to get the stench out of the house. Once we abandoned the Chains of Love Bondage Kit, we put on some porn and got on with the evening.
Full Review HERE

Fetish Fantasy Series – Bed Bindings Restraint Kit —— $38.77

Rod
If looking at the packaging is supposed to tell you anything, you might guess the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit would be fun. Although, as a gay man, I would have preferred packaging that featured a well-hung and muscled guy to inspire me. But let’s not judge the book by its cover.

Getting the Restraint Kit set up is the first challenge, as you have to thread it under the mattress and through the headboard. But after you have it in place it’s easy to conceal the restraints by dropping them down next to the mattress to wait inconspicuously for your next play session. This insures that your maid, your mother-in-law or any other person that may traipse through your boudoir will never know about your dark kinky side.

The cuffs are made of a kind of rubber foam that actually feels quite nice against the skin. They are bound by sturdy material with Velcro for easy-off, easy-on access. My partner Eric volunteered to be “managed” first. I put the ankle and wrist cuffs on him and clipped him in. The first thing we noticed was that, even for the novice, these cuffs are easy to get out of. Then I discovered I needed to adjust the straps to really tighten the thing down. Once I did that I had Eric restrained quite nicely. I should have taken photos!

We then got down to business and I started a little feather-duster torture treatment on my spread-eagle partner and the squirming and straining began in earnest. OOPS! In no time, the flimsy construction of the Bed Bindings Restraint Kit began to show. The stitching holding the straps to the cuffs stated to tear as Erik writhed in tormented pleasure. At the end or our little session he was still restrained, but just barely. I am certain those cuffs won’t last for even one more session. That’s disappointing.
Full Review HERE

Weighted Nipple Clamps —— $12.50

Rod
OK I’ve really got to slow down on all these product reviews or I’m going to have to take a couple of days off work!

Now I LOVE to play with my nipples; I love others to play with them too. Hell I’ve even been known to stand close to the only other person on the elevator just to rub them against someone. (I’m very popular in my apartment building!)

I’ve always wanted to try some nipple clamps, but I never got around to purchasing a pair. Imagine my delight when I got this set of Weighted Nipple Clamps to review.

I took a look at the packaging. I scratched my head in disbelief as I looked at the buxom lady model on the insert. I can easily see how these Weighted Nipple Clamps would work on someone with her endowments. But as I looked south, to my own chest, I wondered how in the world were they going to work on me. And get this; they are advertised as “Fully Adjustable, Non-Tarnishing, Weighted Jewelry”. Jewelry, really? I mean, who considers these jewelry? I wonder what my mom would think if she got these for an anniversary present? OK, I suppose everyone has a different notion about what constitutes bodily ornaments.

At any rate, with just the slightest trepidation I shucked my shirt and began to fiddle with the Weighted Nipple Clamps to see how they worked. The clamps are metallic with plastic coatings on the clamp ends. The clamps have setscrews that allow you to adjust the tension of the clamp. The two clamps are connected by a chain and the weight is connected to the middle via another chain that hangs down about 6 inches.

I didn’t want to start off in too much pressure, so I adjusted the setscrews out quite a bit and attached the clams to my nipples while I was lying down on the bed. The pressure was very nice and I immediately started to get a rise a bit further south! Thinking that I’d like to add a bit of tug to the pressure, I slowly stood up and let the weight start to pull on my nipples.

Given that I am not as endowed in the nipple department as the full-figured female model on the package, the tension of the clamps on my nipples was quickly overcome by gravity and the weight pulled the clamps from my nips and the whole thing fell on my toe! OUCH! Did I mention the weight is not insignificant? So after hopping around for moment and using a couple of expletives that caused the cat to run from the room I decided to give it another go. I adjusted the setscrews for a tighter fit and reapplied the clamps. This time the weight held for a bit longer before the clips slipped off my nipples. I couldn’t seem to get the pressure right. If the Weighted Nipple Clamps was tight enough to support the weight then they were way too tight on my nipples. And if the clamps were pleasurably tight on my nipples; then look out feet!
Full Review HERE

ENJOY

Free Your Mind!

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. In fact these are our last reviews before our annual Spring Break. The Dr Dick Review Crew will return on 04/09/10

But before we leave for our moment in the sun, we want to bring you some swell toys with a bit of an edge to them. I keep hearing from people that we don’t review nearly enough fetish and kink stuff. Point taken!

The problem has always been connecting with a good edgy toy company that wanted to send us stuff for review. But I believe I now have that problem solved. We welcome a new retailer — Spartacus Leathers. And they are Pacific Northwest neighbors, dont’ cha know; from Portland Oregon.

Review Crew members Gina & Kevin are back with us and they will show & tell us about these three kinky toys.

Nipple Clamps with Vibrator —— $39.00

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “Gosh it’s been a while since our last review. Great to be back.”
Kevin: “Yeah, and finally some kinky toys, ya’ll.”
Gina: “I was just rereading the first review I did with Kevin way back in August 2008.  I can’t get over how much I’ve changed since then. For one thing, I’ve discovered I have a real kinky side to me. I can thank all those years of Catholic school for that.”
Kevin: “You can say that again. Gina is maturing into a real pervert. I love it!”
Gina: “I’m discovering that I have a preference for the Dom role, but I can also switch for some sub action.”
Kevin: “When I began introducing Gina to BDSM we played with household items — clothespins, scarves, belts, rubber bands and hairbrushes!”
Gina: “But now we have some real stuff. Case in point; our very own set of Nipple Clamps with Vibrator.”
Kevin: “The nipple tweezer clamps part rocks. However, I was completely under whelmed by the vibe part. It had way more of a tickling sensation than a vibration sensation. I felt it actually detracted from the play instead of enhancing it.”
Gina: “I liked this set up more than Kevin did. The adjustable clamps are very nice. Having them being on an 18″ link chain adds to the possibilities. But Kevin is right, not too much zoom in the vibe, but it is very quiet. I think the design would improve if the vibe was a bit heavier and it had more kick to it.”
Kevin: “There was this great unintentional treat though. When I was wearing the clamps I inadvertently dragged the bullet along Gina’s body while I was on top of her. She clearly got more pleasure from the vibe in this way than I did.”
Full Review HERE

Divinity White Leather Blindfold —— $25.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “I love blindfolds! I love the wear them as much as I love playing with someone who is wearing them. Anyone who hasn’t tried a blindfold doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Gina: “I totally agree. When one sense is incapacitated the other senses are heightened. We’ve played with blindfolding one another on numerous occasions. It’s so much fun. However the Divinity White Leather Blindfold is our very first “real” blindfold. It’s made of actual leather and it has a plush blue faux fur lining. They even added three faux gems too.”
Kevin: “It’s like totally over the top girly, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Having someone blindfolded and at your mercy is just as much fun. You get to experiment with the elements of surprise and trust in your play.”
Gina: “It fits surprisingly well. It has a wide elastic headband that should fit all but the tiniest of heads and the headband is very comfortable too. That make wearing it for long periods of play time a pleasure.”
Kevin: “Yeah, the fleece lined eye pieces are absolutely wonderful and allow me to keep it over my eyes for hours without any strain at all.”
Gina: “If you’ve never played with sensory deprivation before — especially blindfolds — I highly recommend it. Divinity White Leather Blindfold is a perfect toy for either those who are just starting out or who have a great deal of experience.”
Full Review HERE

V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider —— $18.50

Gina & Kevin
Kevin: “Finally I have something exclusively for me. I’m a big fan of cockrings and this V-Style Cockring and Ball Divider is great. I love the way it looks and feels”
Gina: “Again, I totally agree. He looks so hot in this thing. Sometimes I make him do the housework wearing only it.”
Kevin: “She’s gonna be an amazing dominatrix one of these days.”
Gina: “Thanks honey! We aim to please.”
Kevin: “This is made of soft oiltan leather and the V-style divider firmly separates my balls while providing the pleasurable and erection enhancing effects of a cockring.
I am blessed with a pair of low hangers, so this kind of cockring is fantastic. The simple snap closure design allows me to adjust the tightness of both the ring and ball divider straps.  Very cool!.
I got the black leather version, but it also come in red leather. The nickel-free hardware made for sensitive skin, is only available in black. I encourage you to spend the extra couple bucks. The snaps will look nicer and last longer too.
The V-style lifts my “equipment” up and out of the way of my taint and asshole.This  clears the path for Gina to terrorize my ass with a butt plug or strap-on on me when she’s blowin’ me. I tell you, there’s nothing finer!
Like I mentioned, the cockring portion does help me maintain my erection allowing me to last longer when we’re fucking.”
Full Review HERE

ENJOY!

Tony Buff, Part 2 – Podcast #170 – 11/25/09

Hey sex fans,

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I have the holiday treat you’ve all been waiting for. tonyBuff_20091114_wDerekDaSilva Porn star, activist, educator, rigger and Dom. Tony Buff, Is back with us for more of his unique Sex EDGE-U-cation.

Part 1 of my chat with Tony, which appeared last week at this time, is the most popular interview podcast to date.  It broke all download records for a single podcast in a single week, so yea for that.  But wait, did you somehow miss last week’s installment?  We’ll that’s just not right!  But don’t worry; you can make it up.  All my podcasts are archived right here.  All ya have to do is use the site’s search function to your right; type in Podcast #168 and presto!  Don’t forget the #sign when you do your search

Tony and I discuss:

  • His fan base that includes loads of kinky women.
  • His polyamorous relations that includes Derek da Silva and Chris Yosef.
  • Open, honest communication the key to relationship success.
  • Power Play — how he started and his life now.
  • Being a power switch.
  • Exhilaration of creating scenes for his sub.
  • Cathartic and recreational aspects of BDSM.
  • The importance of working with sex positive & kink-positive healing and helping professionals.

Be sure to visit Tony on his kick-ass site HERE!

See a slideshow of Tony & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

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BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S  — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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