Reasons Guys Should Do Kegels

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(Including Better Sex for Both of You)

By Jenna Birch

[I]f a woman visits her ob-gyn because of urinary problems or a sexual issue relating to arousal or orgasm, her doctor might advise her to start a regimen of kegel exercises. These moves strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can lose tone due to age or pregnancy. Stronger pelvic floor muscles lead to better bladder control and more sensation during sex.

But it isn’t just women who can benefit from doing kegels; men can gain advantages as well. “Both men and women have these muscles,” says James Dupree, MD, an assistant professor of urology at Michigan Medicine. “A kegel exercise is the name given to any exercise strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. For guys, those are the muscles supporting organs like the penis, prostate, and rectum.”

Curious as to how they can help your partner—especially the way they can have an impact on your sex life? Here’s what you need to know.

Kegels can help him stay harder during sex

Kegel exercises strengthen the shelf of muscle supporting the penis. Stronger muscles in this area can mean improved blood flow when your partner gets an erection—similar to the way working out any muscle gives circulation to nearby organs a boost. The result: stronger erections. While it’s normal for a guy to occasionally experience erection issues, if he has regular trouble getting and staying hard, it can have an impact on your sex life, says Dr. Dupree.

They can prevent premature ejaculation

These small-but-powerful moves can also give men more control over ejaculation, helping the pelvic floor muscles lengthen and contract appropriately. That helps him last longer in the bedroom. Dr. Dupree points to a small 2014 study, which showed that pelvic floor strengthening helped 82% of study participants (age 19 to 46) improve their premature ejaculation issues.

Kegels boost bladder and bowel control

For men, kegel exercises can also help improve bowel control (jokes asides, it’s not the kind of leakage anyone wants to deal with). They can also make it less likely he’ll experience stress incontinence, or accidentally dribble a little urine while pumping iron at the gym or on a run, for example. Strengthening those muscles is especially useful if, for instance, your guy “laughs, sneezes or lifts a heavy box” and he’s leaking a little pee in the process, says Dr. Dupree.

How can guy do kegels?

Pretty much the same way women do them. First, he has to find those pelvic floor muscles. “When a man is standing to urinate, those are the muscles he’d use to abruptly stop mid-stream,” says Dr. Dupree. “On a separate note, you can think of tightening the muscles you’d use to hold in gas.”

Once he’s identified the right muscle group, Dr. Dupree advises that he “hold for three seconds, relax for three seconds.” Do this 10 times in a row, twice a day. “You can do them anywhere, really,” he says. “Sitting at a desk, in the bathroom. It should only take a few minutes.”

Before he starts, a word of caution

Prior to your partner embarking on a kegel exercise routine, Dr. Dupree says he should first talk to his doctor about any potential underlying medical problems that might be behind his symptoms. For instance, it’s normal to have drip a tiny bit of pee after emptying the bladder; it’s not normal to be leaking urine between trips to the restroom. “For urinary issues, we’d want to check for UTIs or neurologic problems,” he explains.

If you’re dealing with problems in the bedroom, your guy should also bring that up with his physician before jumping right into kegels. “For erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, it’s an issue that can be an early sign of what could eventually become heart disease, so we’d want to check out things like cholesterol,” Dr. Dupree says.

Complete Article HERE!

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How to Do Kegels Without Getting a Bulky, Manly Vagina

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How to Do Kegels Without Getting a Bulky, Manly Vagina

Unless you’re living under an unfuckable rock, you’ve obviously heard of your Kegels. You might even already be doing them a few times a week in the hopes of toning your pelvic floor, keeping your bladder in check, or turning your otter pocket into a delicate vise that firmly grips anything that dares to lovingly enter it. If you aren’t yet doing Kegels, it might be because you have the same fear that many women do before starting an exercise regimen: Will it make me look mannish? While some doctors might dismiss your deeply held concern as “ridiculous” or even “what are you talking about”, experts confirm that improperly-done Kegels can make your muscles become bulky, beefcake-y, and super manly. No thanks! Here are the best ways to use kegels to keep your snatch sexy, slim, and ultra-feminine:

1. Use the right pussy weight.
They look like hella fancy jade tampons and you can find them pretty much anywhere: Amazon, Craigslist, Goodwill. No matter your budget or sanitation standards, you can find something weighted and sphericonical to shove into the ol’ love canal. Just be sure that no matter what you do, you get the pink, purple, or glittery ones. The last thing you need is to end up with a pelvic floor that purposely wipes wing sauce on your shirt during football games all because you popped some navy blue or slate-gray eggs into your lady hole. Yikes!

2. Don’t add liquid calories with sugary lube.
When you insert your weights, be sure to use a low carb, high-protein lube. If you can afford to splurge on the gluten-free variety, even better. Choosing a lubricant that has too much sugar and fat is just gonna pack on the pussy pounds and before you know it your once-demure munchbox will be shopping for Gold’s Gym posing tank tops and challenging strangers to arm-wrestling matches on the street.

3. Low weight + High reps = Tight, feminine poon.
For a lean vagina, high reps with a low weight is key. Aim for five sets of 1,000 reps; 50–75 times a week. You can literally do them from the time you wake up until the time you pass out from exhaustion and loneliness, as long as you’re using something that weighs less than a dwarf hamster. If you go for low reps and a higher weight, say, something in the guinea pig range, you run the serious risk of developing a rippling, meaty eight-pack of a punani; the kind that rips off its TapOut shirt in public while screaming, “YOU WANNA GO THEN?!? LET’S GO!! COME AT ME, BRO!!”

4. Remember to breathe, but not too hard.
You might have heard that slow, even, deep breaths are best while Kegeling. This is a really common misconception; one that will lead you down the road of an aggressively full-bodied and overly aggressive vagina. You want to keep your breaths airy, shallow, and helpless-sounding. Restricting the flow of oxygen to your pelvic walls will help them stay sexy, trim, and delicately taut. Remember: This exercise is for you and also him!

5. Do it right, do it tight.
Nothing is more important than proper form. You NEVER want to perform Kegels in street clothes, old gym shorts, or comfy sweatpants. If you don’t have access to a full line of Lululemon apparel, lacy Victoria Secret underwear will do. Another option is to squeeze out your reps while completely nude and covered in rose petals that have been misted with vanilla oil. Again, that’s optional, but remember: Your pussy shouldn’t look like it’s killed a man with its bare hands before!

Now that you’ve got the basics down, it’s time to get to work—just don’t work too hard or you could get a bodybuilder of a salami-hider! Remember, if you feel the burn, you’re doing wayyy too much! Or you should call your doc; could be the clap. Happy sweating!

Complete Article HERE!

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Boys Will Be Boyz

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Name: TJ
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: ma
ever since i was a teen i have had the hots for my dad. i would walk into the bathroom on him, or his room to seesmoking him naked and to see his dick. i use to love catching him jack off. i loved to see him in his boxers, and would jack off in his boxers. i even would play with him when he was a sleep get him hard and jack myself off. i thought i was over this till he stayed with me over the weekend. he came out of the bathroom in just his boxers. i was only wearing my boxers also. i became hard and excited. the old thought of playing with his cock came back. that night i went into the guest room took out his penis from his boxers and played with it. till it was erect. i then took a pair of his boxers and jacked off in them. i am 41 now should i have out grown this attraction to my dad?? he knows i am gay, we have talked several times about my playing with him but should this attraction continue?? — lost and confused in dads boxers

This is precious, TJ. You’ve been fondlin’ and jerkin’ off your old man for decades, albeit while he “sleeps.” (He’s one hell of a deep sleeper, huh?) He knows all about you, your attraction to him and your late night play sessions with his cock and underwear. But he still comes for a visit. And predictably, you set upon him again in his sleep. How may more incredible things could you possibly add to a single paragraph?

And all you want to know is, is it odd that you continue to behave like this with your father and continue to have this attraction to him now that you’re 41 years old. AMAZING! Odd? Yeah, I’ll say it’s odd!

Where to begin? Oh skip it! If you and your dad (now somewhere in his late 60’s or even 70’s) are still playing at this little game it must be pretty harmless by this time.

Your behavior and attraction continue because you feed it, darling. No big mystery there.

Name: Alan
Gender: Male
Age: 41
Location: Victoria
I find it takes me for ever to jack off even watching videos it can take 40 minutes an when I do shoot it is only a small amount.

nipplesYou don’t say, Alan! I’ve never heard that question before. No wait, that’s baloney. I’ve heard and written extensively about this very issue.

Look to your right. See the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar? EXCELLENT! Now search for the terms: “Ejaculate” and “Ejaculation Concerns” and “Cum.”  Between these categories you will find the answers you are looking for.

Here’s a tip: you’ll also want to check out what I’ve had to say about “Kegels.” You’re gonna want to know all about these handy-dandy exercises to tone up your PC muscle. Both men and women need to attend to their PC muscle. Not sure what the fuck I’m talking about. Not to worry. You have some fun reading and listening ahead of you.

Good luck

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Dribblin’ Instead of Shootin’?

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Name: Alvaro
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Mexico
Hi, I’m concerned because I never shoot when I cum. I dribble. I don’t like the way I cum, can you advice me how to cum shooting?? Is there anything I can do? Is it my fault or I was born with a less powered gun than others?? Sorry to bother. And thx for your help.

The problem you describe is a common one. And the solution is relatively simple. It lies in, of all things, muscle mechanics. An ejaculation is primarily a muscle contraction — built up energy being released — thus the spurt. No spurt, or a dribble most likely indicates poor muscle tone. But there’s an easy and fun solution, or more properly an exercise. Kegel exercises to be precise.

turkey-basterLet’s start at the beginning, which is always a good place to begin, don’t ‘cha know. Your prostate is the source of your ejaculate. You have a handle on that concept, right? Good! Now picture a turkey baster. Imagine your prostate as the bulb on the one end and your dick as stalk with a hole in it at the other end. Picture the baster pointed upward, like your cock with an erection. Imagine the bulb is full of fluid and you need to get that fluid out the bulb, up the stalk and out the hole…just like your spooge when you cum. How ya gonna do that? A firm grasp on the bulb and a hefty squeeze, that’s how!

So Alvaro, if you’re dribblin’ instead of shootin’, your muscles need to be strengthened and toned. And like I said, I have just the right exercises for you.

Anyone who is paying the least bit of attention to the ranting and raving of Dr Dick will fruit_genitalsimmediately be familiar with Kegel exercises. I talk about them a lot. And those who haven’t been paying attention — listen up, you monkeys! Kegel exercises serve to tone and strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle or as we in the know like to call it, the “PC” muscle, which is part of the muscle group at the floor of the pelvis. The health of this muscle group plays a vital role in getting you up and getting you off, as well as in other aspects of healthy genital functioning.

Kegel exercises help increase blood flow to the genital area (getting you up). And Kegel exercises strengthen and tone the muscles that are involved in ejaculation (getting you off). If you exercise this muscle regularly, you’ll gain greater control over the timing and strength of your ejaculations. Kegel exercises can also prevent incontinence and other problems associated with aging, but we’ll save that for another time.

male_anatomy.jpgSo you’re probably saying to yourself, “sure, Dr Dick, I’d like to strengthen my PC muscle, but I never even heard of that muscle, let along know where to fine it.”

Alrighty then, Alvaro, here’s what ya do. Work up a full bladder, the more full your bladder the better. Go to the john and sit on the toilet. (Yeah, just like a girl!) Now let the pee flow. As you’re doin’ that, I want you to interrupt the stream of piss several times before you empty your bladder. The muscle you are using to do this is your PC muscle. Look to distinguish between your PC muscles and your anal sphincter muscles. With a little practice you’ll become adept at separating out these two muscle groups. Actually strengthening all your pelvic muscles is a swell idea, especially for power bottoms, but again we’ll save that topic for another time too.

Now that you have located your PC muscle, you can exercise it at will, even when your bladder is completely empty. First, try squeezing your PC muscles as hard as you can for a count of three seconds. Then relax. Repeat this till you feel the muscles tiring. How fun is this?

I want you to work for both muscle strength and tone. For example, start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of each twice a day for a week is your goal. When you are ready to proceed try increasing this to three sets of eight to ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set. The advanced Kegeler will be able to vary the type and timing of his PC squeezing; slow clenches to quick flutters.PG-TrainingKitOnly-Promo

If you keep this up, you’ll be shootin’ jizz across the room in no time. And the beauty part of Kegel exercises is you can do them whenever and wherever you like. You can be sitting in a meeting with your boss and be doing your Kegel exercises. You can argue with your boyfriend/girlfriend and be doing your Kegel exercises. You can be watching reruns of Leave It To Beaver with your maiden aunt and be doing your Kegel exercises. Who would have guessed improving your sexual health would be such a pleasure?

If you’re serious about all of this, I have else to share with you. This is The Private Gym. It’s the first interactive, follow-along exercise program that helps men strengthen the muscles that support and control our cock. As men approach age 30, the muscles that support erectile function begin to weaken. By age 40, more than 50% of men experience some form of erectile dysfunction and this number increases to more then 66% as men approach 60 years of age. And for all you bottoms out there, you know how important it is to keep anal muscles in tip-top, pardon the pun, shape. And, just in case you didn’t know, The Private Gym won the coveted Best Health Related Product or Toy of 2014 as compiled by the Dr Dick Review Crew. So how about them apples?

Good luck

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Intimate Workout

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Hello sex fans,

And now for something completely different… It’s Product Review Friday all right, but we’ve seen nothing like this before. Today I, Dr Dick, will do the honors and tell you about a unique product for men. It’s a brand new product that will, I believe, change your life for the better. And in the process we welcome another new manufacturer to our review effort, Adult Fitness Concepts.

The Private Gym —— Basic $59.99  Advanced $99.99

Dr Dick
There are a handful of things that I have been very passionate about throughout my long career as a sexologist. Each of my passions revolve around two simple principles: the importance of knowing and owning who we are as sexual beings and an knowing about how our body works. These are the basic building blocks of sexual health and wellbeing.

Sexual wellbeing means a whole lot more than simply being able to perform. It also means taking responsibility for one’s eroticism as an integral part of one’s personality and involvement with others. But being unfamiliar with the basics of how our body works will surely short-circuit even our ability to perform.

My aim has always been to provide information, guidance, and resources that will help people approach their unique sexuality in a realistic and responsible manner. That’s what Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews are all about. So when a representative of Adult Fitness Concepts contacted me via email to tell me about their new product (actually, it’s more of a program than a product), the first FDA registered Kegel exercise program for men, my interest was piqued. I was told that the Private Gym was created after 3 years in development with several leading urologists, physiotherapists, and sexual health experts.

I have been an avid proponent of pelvic floor musculature toning for both women and men for my entire career in sexology. I write and speak about this topic so often that sometimes I feel like a broken record. Don’t believe me? Look for yourself. Use the search function in the sidebar of either of my sites, Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews, type in pelvic muscles, and BANG!home_hero_image

Women tend to know more about Kegel exercises, the exercises that tone and strengthen one’s pelvic floor musculature because doctors encourage them to do their Kegels during pregnancy. But here’s a tip for all you guys out there who are reading this and rolling your eyes and getting ready to turn the page because you think this is some kinda Oprah — vagina moment. Listen up you monkeys; kegel exercises aren’t just for the ladies. Us men folk have pelvic muscles too. So pay attention, you’re gonna want to know about Kegels too.

What are Kegels, you may be asking. They’re muscle contraction and relaxation exercises designed help restore, tone, and strengthen the muscles that surround the opening of the urethra (see guys, we have one of those), vagina (ok, we don’t have one of those, but we do have a penis and we get erections), and anus (we sure as hell have one of those). Since this includes the muscle that you use to stop and start the flow of urine, you can check if you’ve identified the right muscle by testing your kegel technique while peeing — if you can stop the flow of urine when tightening, then you know that you’re contracting the correct muscle group. BTW, the main muscle is call the pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle for short.

There are several “toys” on the market that are designed to help women tighten and tone their pelvic floor muscles, Ben Wa balls, and all their modern incarnations, for example.  Now, thanks to the Private Gym us men folk have our own exercise program. A program that promises stronger, more rigid erections, a reduction in premature ejaculation, heightened orgasms, improvement in urinary control all while supporting prostate health.

I know what you’re thinking, if I can do Kegels on my own, why do I need a program? Good question. The best answer I can come up with is it will help you stray on track and achieve your goals. I mean, isn’t that the reason we go to a gym? Surely we can workout on our own, but the support and encouragement we get from being part of and involved in a program makes the effort more rewarding. It’s all about psychology, right?

PG-TrainingKitOnly-PromoThe Private Gym is the first interactive, follow-along exercise program that helps men strengthen the muscles that support and control our cock. As men approach age 30, the muscles that support erectile function begin to weaken. By age 40, more than 50% of men experience some form of erectile dysfunction and this number increases to more then 66% as men approach 60 years of age. And for all you bottoms out there, you know how important it is to keep anal muscles in tip-top, pardon the pun, shape.

There are two parts to the Private Gym program — 1) the Basic Training Program (available on DVD or through digital download) and 2) the Complete Training Program, which involves resistance training.

As we all know, resistance training is key to building strong muscles. Imagine doing bicep curls or a bench press without weights. The Private Gym Complete Training Program resistance equipment is basically a weighted high-quality, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone cuff for your dick. How amazing is that? You slip this puppy around your stiffy and do your Kegels. The cuff is also waterproof, so it cleans us easily with mild soap and warm water.

Just like all weight training, muscle contractions increase blood flow and increased blood flow to your johnson will…wait for it…produce harder, larger, and longer-lasting erections. Your pelvic musculature is also responsible for the strength of your ejaculation. Do you dribble instead of shoot? Well, my friend, you have some important exercisin’ to do.

While the Private Gym is a practical tool for any guy at any age, I have a few extra words for those men—friends, clients, and correspondents—who are living with and through prostate cancer. I get how difficult things can be after an invasive and life altering surgery. I also know that, for the most part, oncologists are not inclined to walk each of their patients through the emotional and physical minefield that is life after these often devastating medical interventions. But that doesn’t mean you have to sink to the lowest common denominator and shut down as a sexual being.

I believe that the Private Gym Basic Training Program can be helpful in regaining a sense of your sexual self after surgery and radiation. I’m currently working with two clients and we are using the Basic Training Program to rehabilitate their traumatized pelvic musculature. While it is too early to tell what kind of success rate we will have, I can say for certain that the effort involved in this program, as well as both of them knowing that someone really cares about their sexual performance issues, is making a huge psychological difference in terms of outlook and confidence. And that is huge!

My own experience with the program has been very positive. I’m 65 years old and I’ve been dealing with prostate issues, bladder control issues, and erection issues for some time now. I’ve also been doing Kegel exercises for decades, so I conclude that I am as functional as I am because of my efforts to keep my pelvic musculature toned and strong. The Private Gym is helping me be more conscientious about my workouts. And that is a real good thing.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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Tricks Of The Trade – Part 2

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Today I continue the series I started on Monday.  You will remember from Monday that a friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.

PORN SECRETS

What are some porn industry secrets to keeping men harder longer while shooting a film? I assume they use editing tricks (like repeating the same shots over and over), Viagra (or other ED drugs). Do they still use fluffers? What else?

Yes, editing, lots and lots of editing!

But nowadays, it’s “better living though chemistry!” No, fluffers are no longer necessary. Pity!

Loads of guys use CAVERJECT.  This will give a guy 8 hours of wood, regardless what he is doing. He could watch his mother get hit by a train and he would still have a boner. As you can imagine, this has nothing to do with being aroused, it’s simply a matter of circulatory mechanics. It’s just one more thing that’s faked in the industry.

For the rest of us mere mortals, I always suggest the use of a cockring. Be sure to check out my tutorial: Cockring Crash Course HERE!

SEX GUILT

I will be discussing sex guilt and its repercussions. As a former Catholic priest, we’re sure you’ve dealt with your fair share of sex guilt either in yourself, your penitents, or your current sex therapy clients.

Yep, in all three!guilt-and-shame

What are some reasons behind sex guilt?

The truth is, there is very little sex related guilt without the accompanying shame. In my opinion, the shame comes first. Someone or some institution instills the sense of shame for the behavior; the individual experiences guilt when he/she engages in the shamed behavior. And, mind you, this stigmatized behavior could be anything from masturbation or eating pork.

How does sex guilt manifest itself?

In many different ways. It’s such a personal experience. For most people guilt reinforces and internalizes the shame that was engendered by someone or some institution outside of the person. (See my comment above.) A common response to sex guilt is hiding, suppressing thoughts and feelings, denying thoughts and feelings, avoiding triggers, or just shutting down. Others punish themselves, which can engender a vicious cycle self-hatred.

However, the most pernicious form of guilt actually reinforces the behavior. Here’s how that works. I do something I’m ashamed of; I feel a deep sense of guilt; then I punish myself for my transgression. This in turn makes the behavior all that more seductively attractive to me, which makes me do the behavior again, all so that I can punish myself again. And, as you can see, the punishment, not the pleasure, becomes the reward. It’s all really very insidious.

How can one overcome their guilt about sex acts?

One starts by unraveling the system that instilled the shame in the first place. One goes back to the source of the shame — church, parents, etc. He/she tries to understand the reason why the shaming was done — protect the sanctity of the body, a means of controlling human urges, etc. Then one demythologizes the shaming. Without shame there’s little to no guilt.

Have you heard these statements and how would you respond to someone who is dealing with these specific issues:
1. A women who go down on a guy is a whore.

I would help the individual see that statements like this are made by people who don’t believe that women should enjoy sex; they shouldn’t be active participants. Sex is for procreation, not pleasure. There’s only one way to have sex—particularly for women—they should be unengaged and passive receptacles, nothing more.cordially invited

2. Men who go down on women are unmanly.

I would help the individual see that this kind of statement is made by people who are trapped in a perverse sex-role stereotype. I mean, who gets to determine what is manly and what isn’t? The one who makes this determination wins the debate, right? Each individual ought to get to decide what is manly, womanly. There is no artificial norm.

3. Anal sex (between straight people) is wrong/dirty/gay.

I would help the individual try to take apart that statement. Wrong? Does that mean there’s a right way? Who gets to determine that? Dirty? Are some parts of the body more wholesome than others? Whose prejudices are at work here? Gay? Why must we demonize this particular class of people? Where do the phobic reactions to same sex behaviors come from? Are they legitimate things to be feared, or are they culturally induced? If they are culturally induced, what was the original motivation? See my response to your question: How can one overcome their guilt about sex acts?

4. The lady/whore complex that straight men may entertain.

Someone set up this dichotomy long before any particular modern straight man bought into it. Who set it up? And why did they set it up? At who’s expense? Who’s sexuality do they fear? Does preserving the male privilege have anything to do with it?

5. Pornography is evil/degrading/terrifying/wrong.

Again, why evil? That’s a throwback to an outmoded cosmology, right? And even if someone decided there is dirty magazinessuch a thing as evil, who gets to decide what evil is? What was evil 100 years ago, or in a different culture, may not be considered evil today, or in another culture. This suggests to me that “evil” is not a universal, but culturally determined. Again, who gets to determine that? And whose prejudices are at work when the determinations are being made? Degrading? Sure, porn can be degrading, but so can working at Walmart! If it is consensual and free of coercion, can it be degrading? And if porn is degrading why is it that we are not as concerned about all the other things that degrade human kind? Terrifying? I think comb-overs are terrifying. Wrong? (See evil above.)

ANAL SEX

Some people argue that the anus can suffer damage and begin to leak with too much anal penetration. Is there any biological basis behind this? Or is it just another “myth”?

Sure, one can injure him/herself with irresponsible penetrations of any orifice. But what is “too much” penetration, anyhow?

Any butt pirate, from the rank amateur to the power bottom, knows the importance of keeping their pelvic musculature in tiptop, no pun intended, shape. This is where Kegel exercises come in handy. Strong and toned PC muscles (pubococcygeus muscle) will allow you to enjoy ass fucking for a lifetime without the heartbreak of springing a leak.

PART 1 of this series HERE!   PART 3 of this series HERE!

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Ladies, get your balls on!

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Hello sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday! We welcome back the award-winning Fun Toys today. As you probably recall, their fabulous G-Vibe made our Best Adult Products List For 2013.

So let’s see what they have in store for us today. And for that we turn to Dr Dick Review Crew member, Christa for her review.

Fun Toys Geisha Balls —— $49.95

Christa
I was pretty sexually precocious as a teen. I had a crush on a girl at age 11. Started masturbating at 13. Had sex with a girl at 14. Had sex with a boy at 16. I liked it all. I guess all my early sexual experiences were so enjoyable because I always felt I was in charge of my body and my sexual expression. No one ever pressured me into anything, and, if the truth be told, I was often the one doing the pursuing and seducing. Not much has changed these many years later.

I learned about kegel exercises when I was a freshman in high school. I read about them in a woman’s magazine that my mother subscribed to. Since I had started masturbating a year earlier, I kinda understood the mechanics of it all. I set my mind to doing my kegels because, as the magazine article said, “they would increase the intensity of my orgasms.” Actually, I didn’t see how my orgasms could get any more intense than they were back then. There were times when I would nearly black out from the pleasure. I know, what a freak, right?geisha_balls_pix_7-1

Since then, I have been on a mission to turn people on to kegels. Take my butt-boy BF, Alex, for example. I was the first girlfriend to ever play with his prostate. Now it’s fuck me, fuck me, fuck me all the time. He is like this total ass whore. The funny thing is that, when this first began, he was all nervous, not that this ass play was gonna make him gay, but that he would get all stretched out down there and he would lose his shit…literally. But I told him to relax and introduced him to kegel exercises. Problem solved.

I got my first set of Ben Wa balls when I was in college. They were beautiful. They came in this really nice silk lined box with a dragon in it. I would insert them then go for a bike ride. Holy shit! Ya know I don’t even remember what became of that first set. I probably lent them to a friend and never got them back.

Nowadays, Ben Wa balls are all the rage because of those bullshit 50 Shades of Grey novels. And nowadays they come in a dazzling array of styles. This brings me to today’s review. Check out these Geisha Balls from Fun Toys. There are four balls in the set, not the usual two. The set includes the lightest and heaviest balls on the market. That’s cool because you can mix and match the balls you use at any one time. In fact, it allows for five-stages of training.

You can use the balls individually or as a pair. Heck, if you’re really adventurous, you can even use all four at once. I have, but then you would expect crazy shit like that from me, huh? And you can use them with or without the sling. These Geisha Balls are body safe, made of abs plastic and the sling is made of 100% soft medical silicone.

whats inside ballsSo if you are following what I’m saying, Geisha Balls assist in toning the muscles in your pelvic region, specifically your pubococcygeus muscle (or PC muscle). This is the muscle that is responsible for stopping the flow of pee. And just about every woman out there knows something about incontinence that comes from stress, or childbirth, or aging. But besides the utility, or training aspect, there is the pleasure aspect. And if you’ve never tried these things, you’re in for a surprise.

The Fun Toys people have thoughtfully included a very specific brochure in their package that spells out all the ways you can use the Geisha Balls. There’s no guesswork and even if you’ve never tried Ben Wa balls before, you won’t be intimidated when you get your set.

Geisha Balls come in a real nice gift box; perfect for gift giving to yourself or someone else. There’s even a sweet little drawstring storage pouch included in the box.

Here’s a tip; mothers, give a set of Geisha Balls to your teen daughters. That’s right, you heard me. Let’s cut the shit and stop pretending that teens aren’t interested in or experimenting with sex either by themselves or with a partner. There are plenty of girls out there who are as precocious as I was. There are even more who could use a helpful hand in trying to figure out the pleasure thing. And if you’re squeamish about promoting the pleasure aspect, focus on the therapeutic aspects. Either way, this is a gift that will keep on giving. And hey, it works the other way around too. Once I discovered how great the Geisha Balls are, I sanitized them by dropping the whole set, sling and all, into a pot of boiling water, dried them off, and passed the balls, sling, and gift box on to my mom. She was only slightly surprised; she’s learned that I can be pretty unpredictable when it comes to sex. I’ll have to replace my set soon.

And the Geisha Balls are so easy to use. I suggest a regiment of 15-30 minutes a day. And you don’t have to interrupt your day to train. Simply insert, and go about your business. You’ll be doing yourself a world of good and they’ll put a smile on your fact too.

You can kick up the action by trying to pull the balls out of vagina by the sling, while your muscles holds them inside. So simple!

And Alex wants me to remind you that Geisha Balls are not just for women and vaginas. They are great trainers for your butt too. And those of you with a prostate in your butt will discover some unique pleasure. I just want to add that you gotta to use the sling with the balls when using them anally.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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More SEX WISDOM With Lara Eardley — Podcast #392 — 10/02/13

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans! Welcome back.portrait in the blue dress

Author, activist, and passionate advocate for pelvic floor strength, the incomparable, Lara Eardley is back with us today for another go ‘round on this the SEX WISDOM show. I’m still kinda breathless from last week’s show, so I can’t tell you how eager I am for more of her today.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #391 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Lara and I discuss:

  • Her difficult early life;
  • Being in your body instead of living in your head;
  • From adversity to empathy;
  • The perineal lift;
  • Hands-free orgasms;
  • Reversing incontinence;
  • Those who inspire her and her sexual heroes.

Lara invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Don’t miss her YouTube channel HERE! And she also on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!

 

Click on the cover art below for more information about Lara’s books and her DVD.

pelvic floor DVD Enchantress Book Cover enchantress

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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SEX WISDOM With Lara Eardley — Podcast #391 — 09/25/13

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans! Welcome back.facebook dec 2012

I know, let’s take an audio field trip to the land down under to visit with one of the most exciting women I’ve ever met. She is a pioneer in her field. She is an author, an activist, and advocate for pelvic floor strength. In a minute the incomparable, Lara Eardley will join us. But. before she does, I want you to prepare yourself to be bowled over. Laura is a powerhouse of passion and I’m pretty sure we will be treated to the full force of her signature SEX WISDOM. Buckle your seat belts, sex fans!

Lara and I discuss:

  • Being passionate about pelvic floor muscles;
  • Good, responsive and supple muscles prevent incontinence;
  • Education, education, education;
  • Sexual fitness;
  • Her study of Buddhist tantra, sexual medicine, and energetic work;
  • 6000 years of cultural knowledge;
  • Awareness and evolution;
  • Bliss;
  • Ejaculation control and life-force energy conservation;
  • Self-cultivation.

Lara invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Don’t miss her YouTube channel HERE! And she also on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!

 

Click on the cover art below for more information about Lara’s books and her DVD.

pelvic floor DVD     Enchantress Book Cover     enchantress

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Bottoms UP!

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Name: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: San Francisco
Dr. Dick- Wow, may I say this is a fantastic site. It is good to see sex as an open topic and that its not only an allowable activity, it is a good activity to take part in. I’m 23, gay, and living in beautiful San Francisco (the perfect place for a 23 year old gay boy to be!), and your tutorials have taken my blowjob and power bottoming skills from that was good to wow lets do that again!

If I may make one suggestion: in the Liberating the Big Old Bottom Within guide, I personally recommend that anyone who wants to bottom get to know the fiber aisle at the grocery/drug store. I find that it helps to keep things squeaky clean longer.

But the question I had was about orgasms while bottoming. Is there any technique that you know of that would help me reach orgasm while bottoming without having to touch myself. I almost reached that point last night while experimenting with some new moves in the sac … but I was wondering if there were any, er, exercises I could do on my own to reach there with my partners (playing safely of course).

Yes, you may say this is a fantastic site. You can say that over and over if you like. All kidding aside, thank you for your very kind words.

grab assAnd I’m hoping you are enjoying the site’s new look. While our logo remains the same, I recently reconfigured the pages. Of particular note, is the Podcast Archive drop-down menu. Now you can go directly to each of my four podcast series: The Erotic Mind, SEX WISDOM, Sex EDGE-U-cation, Play With It shows. The Q&A shows are lumped under the general heading, Podcast.

As before, the toy reviews tab takes you to adult product review site. The Video Library tab takes you to Dr Dick How To Video Library, just as it always has. And the About Dr Dick page is also a drop-down menu, which contains the contact page, the Got A Sex Question page, the Therapy Available page and The Buzz page.

Sadly, I had to deactivate the Lick-A-Dee-Split sex advice podcast VOICEMAIL HOTLINE. It was underused and it was very expensive.

You will also notice that the site’s sidebar has been cleaned up considerably. The clutter is gone and I think it looks really nice as is. So ya’ll, go take a look and see what you think. Send me your comments after you’ve had an opportunity to look around.

Ya know, Chris, I was just about your age when I moved to the Bay Area. I finished my undergraduate degree in the spring of 1972 in Washington, DC. Later that year I moved to Oakland to begin my graduate work in Berkeley. I remember thinking to myself back then, OMG, I’ve fallen into a pot of jam. Leaving a very conservative school in the nation’s capitol, I found myself, almost immediately, on the other end of the political spectrum on the other side of the country. The world began to open for me. Berkeley was magical and my life changed immediately for the better.

In 1978, at the age of 28, I moved to San Francisco to begin work on my doctorate. It was like a dream come true. While I was living in Oakland, I would cross the bay bridge several times a week just to soak up San Francisco’s uniqueness. I used to think as I crossed the bridge and approached the city. My god, what a beautiful site! While I thought Oakland was great, I was happy not to have to commute any longer. To finally reside in the city I loved so much felt like I had died and gone to heaven.pegging147

The 70’s and early 80’s were the halcyon days of my youth. Oh to be young and gay and to live in San Francisco at that time. I wouldn’t exchange that experience for all the tea in china. I decided way back then that I would open myself to as many life-expanding experiences as presented themselves. For the most part, I was served very well by this philosophy. Of course, there were plenty of unsavory experiences that I would never want to relive, but even they were full to the brim with helpful information about me, my sexuality, my growing eroticism, as well as and the rest of the world around me. As I look back I have no regrets and lots of very happy memories.

I thought I would reside in the jewel by the bay for as long as I lived. I had surely found home. But as fate would have it, that didn’t happen. I left San Francisco for Seattle in 1999, after nearly 30 years in that amazing place. Now I look back fondly on that transformative time. The life lessons I leaned there continue to serve me well even now. I am immeasurably richer for the time I lived and loved there.

Boy, that got me way off message, huh? Sorry about that. It’s just that your email got me to reminiscing about being young and gay and living in San Francisco.

OK, on to your concerns. First, let me ask you to add your thoughts on the importance of fiber intake for the aspiring BOB (Big Old Bottom) in the comments section of that very posting. Would you do that for me? As much as I appreciate you offering your pearls of wisdom to me, I think all of our audience would benefit. Don’t you agree? The beauty part of a site like this is the cumulative knowledge and insight of all who visit there. I can’t do this all on my own, don’t cha know!  And remember, butt fuckin’ ain’t just for the gays anymore.  Straight men are discovering the joys of their prostate too.

I have a lot to say to your question about prostate orgasms while bottoming. And I would like to begin by saying that, while prostate orgasms are possible for some of us, not all of us will ever experience one. I’m not sure one can actually train himself to have one of these illusive orgasms at will. But what I can say for sure is, that this will never happen unless one is fully prostate aware.

daddy's boysHow does a fella become fully prostate aware, you might ask. Good question. I suppose that would start with an intimate familiarity with your anatomy. Do you know how you are put together “down there?” You sound like a clever lad, so maybe you are. If you’re not, my site has lots of important information. Look for Male Reproductive System in the CATEGORY section of the sidebar.  It falls under the main category — Sex Therapy.

Knowing and loving your prostate is the next step in this process. Prostate massage is where you will begin. You can do this with your fingers, a dildo, or a specialized “tool” like one of the prostate massagers that you can find at drdicksextoyreviews.com. Use the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar that site. Look for Prostate Massage, and presto!

There’s one final thing you’ll need to master and that is Kegel exercises. If you are unfamiliar with these and/or why you need to practice these exercises, you can read and/or listen to all the posting — written and podcast, I’ve made about this very important regimen. Just look for Kegels in the CATEGORY drop-down menu in the sidebar of drdicksexadvice.com. You will find this subcategory under the main category — Sex Therapy.

I’d be very interested in hearing from you again. I’d like to know how you are cuming along in your quest for the illusive hands-free orgasm. And don’t forget to use the comments section on any of the postings. I want you to share your insights with all of us.

Good luck

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Artistic Pleasure

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Hey sex fans!

Welcome to the latest edition of Product Review Friday.

Have you noticed that we’ve been introducing you to a bunch of swell new manufacturers lately? Well if you haven’t ya’ll need to pay closer attention, don’t cha know. Today we continue that trend. We welcome yet another remarkably innovative company to our review effort. Say hello to Fucking Sculptures. This Berkeley California boutique glass studio is crafting eye-popping pleasure instruments so unique that we can hardly contain ourselves.

You’ll be seeing more products from them in the weeks to come, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie are here with our first review.

Corkscrew —— $120

Joy & Dixie
Dixie: “Where does the time go? It’s been over six months since out last review. But this isn’t the first time such an extended hiatus has occurred. Probably when you don’t hear from us for a while it’s because we’re out on the road. When life gets crazy, as it seems to do more frequently lately, Joy and I just hop in our RV and hit the road till we soothe our souls. You’ve heard of dykes on bikes, right? Well we’re dykes in a camper.”
Joy: “A glorified camper, mind you! We used to have this battered old pickup with a pop-top. But now we travel in style. We always meet the nicest people on the road. And on several occasions we’ve even introduced some of our sisters to the latest in sex toys. We like to think of ourselves are roving ambassadors of pleasure.”
Dixie: “We travel light, but not stupid. We always bring a toy or six with us, because, despite our destination, we never leave our libidos at home.”

corkscrew-580x290

Joy: “Even though our RV has a lot of the comforts of home, we think it’s wise to bring at least one toy that don’t involve a motor. And this is where the Corkscrew from Fucking Sculptures comes in. It is made of exquisite soda-lime glass. Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the different kinds of glass other than the fact that this hard and sleek material makes for the ideal insertable.”
Dixie: “We are very fond of glass. In fact, the Corkscrew is our fifth such dildo. At the same time, it is unlike all the others. For one thing, all our other glass insertables we have are clear or with colored swirls in them. They are stunning, of course, but the Corkscrew stands out because it is densely colored; so dense that light won’t penetrate it, except at its tail. Ours is this deep forest green. And here’s a very cool thing about all the fucking art from Fucking Sculptures; you get to choose between five colors and three sizes. That means they well like make one just for you, to your specifications. How cool is that?”
Joy: “And, because each and every one of their sculptures is handcrafted, you can be sure that the insertable you choose will be unique. No one else in the world will have one exactly like yours. That’s art! That’s fucking art! And if you treat your sculpture with the respect it deserves, like you would any fine adult toy, this beauty will last a lifetime.”
Dixie: “Glass is practical as well as stunning. There are no batteries to run down, nothing to recharge. It’s ready when you are. And just think of the bonus feature of it being perfect for sensory play. The Corkscrew can be chilled or warmed. Its hardness holds the temperature beautifully. And unless you’ve tried this kind of play, you have no idea the pleasure it can bring.”
Joy: “Glass is nonporous and hypoallergenic so care and cleaning are a snap. Warm water and mild soap will do for general clean up. However, if you plan to share your glass toy, and they should be shared, I recommend sanitizing it by wiping it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution too. We even ran ours through a dishwasher cycle for no fuss, no muss cleanup.”
Dixie: “The Corkscrew we have is about 7” long with an up curled tail. It weighs in at a hefty 11.5 ounces. I think it’s the ideal toy for helping me with my kegel exercises. The entire insertable is a delicious swirl with its head being about 1.5” in diameter. The curled tail makes it easy to position for intense G-spot stimulation.”
Joy: “Oh, we should mention, for the sake of all our male friends that the Corkscrew makes a wonderful ass play toy too. Your P-spot will thank you. And you’ll never have to worry about it disappearing up your poop-chute; its tail will prevent that.”
Dixie: “You can use any type of lube you choose with glass. And because of its hard and polished surface, only a few drops of lube will be needed.”
Joy: “Remember, the Corkscrew is art, so there’s no need to hide this beauty when it’s not in use. When we’re home it sits proudly on our mantle piece.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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First Q&A Show of 2013 — Podcast #360 — 01/21/13

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Hey sex fans,black tie

Alrighty then! It’s time for our first Q&A show for the New Year. I have a whole bunch of very interesting correspondents vying for their moment in the sunshine, so to speak. Each one is ready to share his or her sex and relationship concerns with us. And I will do my level best to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • John is horny as hell and wants to jack off with other guys. I turn him on to Bateworld.
  • Rocky is gettin’ pounded pretty hard, afterward he can’t pee.
  • Holly hasn’t had a date in 48 years. She’s having problems connecting with a good man.
  • Brian is lookin’ to zap his hole.
  • Conner thinks his BF is jerkin off too much.
  • Michael has crystal dick.
  • Lili describes, in great detail, her sex life with her hubby.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Perfect Fit Brand!

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Messin’ Around

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Name: Troy
Gender: Male
Age:
Location:
Sir,
My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. She sometimes has experienced that her clit gets sore after we mess around. She also felt some pain when we have sex not right away but late on almost like a muscle soreness. She has had regular gyno visits with no problems. I am wondering if I could be too big for her. Do we need to increase the amount of lube we are using? Is there a limited number of times we should have sex in a weekend?
Thank You

What kind a messin’ around are you doin’ there, darlin’?

So let me get this straight, your GF sees her “gyno” on a regular basis and there’s no discernible problem in pussyville. That’s a good thing. But after she hooks up with you for a little slap and tickle her clit is very tender and she reports muscle soreness afterward as well.

Hmmm, I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and speculate you puppies are kinda new to the whole fuckin’ thing, right?

Let’s see, are you actively involved with her clit with your hands or mouth, or is this post-fuck tenderness simply collateral damage of you pounding away with wild abandon? I mean do you even know your way around down there? Or are you just one of those drop trow’ and commence the assault kinda guys? The fact that you don’t even know if you are using enough lube leads me to believe that you’ve got lots to learn.

Ya see the reason I say this is, for the most part, most youngens, and a lot of not so young people, don’t often take the time to familiarize themselves with the parts of their partners before sex. I mean there may be a lot of athletic bumping around and all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean ya’ll know what the fuck you’re doing.

And here’s another disturbing trend. A lot of young men are unfortunately picking up some of their sexual social skills, if you can call them that, from watching porn. And that, my friend, is never a good thing. Young women, on the other hand, often remain too embarrassed or uninformed themselves about their own parts to invite even a steady BF to stop for a moment and get to know their own personal cooch. Each woman is unique, ya know.

So you see how all of this lack of familiarity and perhaps even misinformation can cause loads of problems for novice fucksters. But the solution is very simple indeed — all you have to do is know yourself and know your partner.

One thing for sure, if you are swinging as big a pipe as you lead me to believe, it’s incumbent upon you to know how to handle that thang when foolin’ around with a delicate flower that is a woman’s muff. I suggest you have a nice long talk with your GF real soon. Make it a non-seductive, nonsexual conversation. Ask her to show you around “the promised land”. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are a whole lot of ‘em. You’ll be amazed. If you think your dick is talented. Let me tell ya pal, it pails in comparison to a vulva.

Besides, this little exercise will give you loads of brownie points with the GF. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussy in general and therefore a much better lover. It’ll be exactly like playing doctor, only completely different.

Let me walk you through an actual structured exercise I have some of my clients, with similar problems as you guys, work on. It’s called a sexological exam. Ya see I never assume that a woman is familiar with her own genitals, let alone having her partner know what’s up down there. So I have my couples work together on this exercise. By the way, a woman can do it alone (a self-sexological exam) or she can work with a partner.

Think about it, this is a perfect way for you guys to learn about your own and one another’s naughty bits, as well as getting a handle on your sexual response cycles.

Here’s how it works. Your GF will hold a hand-held mirror between her legs. Have her point out her clit, vulva, vagina, both sets of vaginal lips, urethra, and if you have a speculum handy, you guys can check out her cervix. Next, probe her vagina, by inserting one of your fingers. Remember this is not a come-on for sex, this is an exercise to gather important information about how thing look and work down there. Don’t forget the lube!

With your finger in her vagina, ask her to flex her PC muscle. If you guys don’t know what that is you have some remedial work a head of you. To find all the posting I’ve made about the amazing PC muscles use the search function in the header, type in and Kegel exercises, and PRESTO!

What you guys will be looking for in this part of the exercise is your GF ability to identify and control her vaginal muscles.

Next comes a detailed touch test. I want you to stroke very square inch of your GF from her asshole to her navel, including her upper thighs. You are gonna be testing for and acquainting yourself with her sensitivity. I suggested your GF use a 0-5 point scale to represent the levels of sensitivity — 5 being the hottest, most sensitive and most pleasurable areas and 0 being the more neutral areas. Be sure to use all the numbers in-between. I encourage you guys to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand.

Next it’s your turn to submit your body to your GF’s scrutiny. With the hand-held mirror between your legs point out your prepuce (if you go one), frenulum, glans, coronal ridge, scrotum and testicles. Have her slip a finger in your ass. Don’t forget the lube! Now flex your PC muscle for her. Yes darling, you have a PC muscle too. Have her feel for your prostate too.

Then she’ll use the same touch technique on you that you did on her. She’ll stroke very square inch of you from your asshole to your navel including your upper thighs. She will be testing for and acquainting herself with your sensitive areas. Using the same 0-5 point scale to represent the levels of sensitivity that she did — 5 being the hottest, most sensitive and most pleasurable areas and 0 being the more neutral areas as well as all the numbers in-between. Again, try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand.

By the time you guys have finished this exploration exercise, both of you will have a much greater appreciation of the wonders of her amazing cunt and your fabulous cock. You’ll know the areas that need special care and attention. You’ll also know the kind of touch that is the most appropriate for each specific area. But most importantly, you will realize that mindlessly pokin’ and prodin’ away down there, like a blind man with a stick, is not how one goes about a successful fuck.

Good luck

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BINGO!

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Name: Wondering
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: US
Hello, I just discovered your loverly website just now and thought I would ask you a question that has been on my mind for a while. I seem to have a problem orgasming without stimulating my clitoris. I suppose that doesn’t really sound like a problem but it’s really starting to annoy me. I would like to be able to still enjoy an orgasm without having to stimulate my clit every time! I love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way? I mean I am aware of where my G-spot is and my boyfriend said he’ll be focusing more on hitting it “spot” on. There’s also another thing I have noticed, sometimes my boyfriend will hit my cervix and it hurts a bit, but is this even normal? Should he even be able to hit it? Or is there something abnormal going on here?

Let’s see, when you say you “love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way?” Are you referring to full-on cock in cooter fucking when you say, “having sex”? The reason I ask is that not everyone means the same thing when they use that trite euphemism.

Since you’re not here to fill in the blanks, so to speak. I’ll assume you want to know why you can’t or haven’t yet had a vaginal orgasm. Before I answer, I just want to say that I hope you are not setting up an orgasmic dichotomy where there doesn’t need to be one. That would truly be unwise.

Ok, now my answer. I can’t really say why your not climaxing while you’re fucking. Other than an exclusively vaginal centered orgasm is a myth. The vast majority of women don’t have vaginal orgasms. In fact the degree of insensitivity inside a woman’s vagina is so high that Kinsey wrote in his seminal work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female published back in 1953: “Among the women who were tested in our gynecologic sample, less than 14% were at all conscious that they had been touched.” That’s pretty remarkable, wouldn’t you say?

The vaginal orgasm myth is perpetuated, in part, by many a woman’s confusion and/or lack of knowledge about their own anatomy. Some women believe that an orgasm felt during fucking is centered in their cooch. This suggests to me that they aren’t being precise in locating the center of that orgasm. Other women believe in the vaginal orgasm myth because they think they need to conform to a male oriented notion of female sexuality — insertion…fucking = cuming. And that’s wrong, don’t cha know. Just ask all the preorgasmic women out there.

But ya know what? I don’t own a pussy my own self. All I can tell you is what I have learned from those people who actually have a honeypot. The people I’m referring to, we’ll call them females, tell me vaginal orgasms, mythological or not, may simply be dependent on a tone of a woman’s pelvic musculature. As amazing as pussies are, and they are amazing, if the muscles that surround them are not taught and toned enough, a fucking generated orgasm may elude the owner of said pussy.

Some women haven’t developed their PC muscle enough to cum through fucking alone. Are you doing your kegels, Wondering? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I suggest that you have some serious remedial research to do. You could start by reading around my site and listen to podcasts that feature information on our pubococcygeus muscle and kegel exercises. Check out the CATEGORIES pull down menu in the sidebar to your right. Scroll down till you see the main category — Sex Therapy.  Under that you will discover the subcategory — Kegels and PC muscle.

The elusive vaginal orgasm may also have to do with your partner’s cock, particularly the girth of his unit and opposed to its length. My women friends tell me that a thicker cock may have more of a chance triggering a vaginal orgasm then a pencil dick. No surprise there, I suppose. Position will also play a role. Why not give a bunch of different positions a try and see if they make a difference? You on top cowgirl style, or doggie style might work best. But it’s your coozie, my dear, and you ought to know it best.

As to your G-spot question. That’s another thing all together. I am so glad that you are familiar with your anatomy enough to have found your own personal G-spot. And it’s great to hear that you have an accommodating partner who is working on stimulating this sensitive area. Good for you both! However, while I wholeheartedly endorse and encourage your further investigations and sex play, I do have one caution. I share the concern of my women friends. We want you to avoid all the G-spot hype floating around in the popular culture these days. Most women have a good time with their G-spot exploration. They report that it is not particularly difficult to find, but it’s also much harder to pleasure. If a woman, you perhaps, gets it in your head that something amazing is supposed to happen with a G-spot stimulation, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. In the same way some women, you perhaps, set themselves up for disappointment if they buy into the myth of an exclusively vaginal generated orgasm.

I encourage you to see your genitals as a whole, not a bunch of separate parts that somehow work independently of one another. If your pussy is happy and your pussy is making you happy, is it really all that important how the happiness comes to be?

In comparison us men folk are not all that fussy. What gets us off; gets us off. I never hear from a guy who is disappointed because he’s having an exclusively prostate generated orgasm. They do happen to some men, but most of us aren’t the least bit concerned when they don’t happen to us. I also never hear from a guy who thinks he should be orgasmic through manipulation of his balls alone. That can happen too, but we’re not holding our breath for that.

What I do hear from guys is that we often need a particular kind of dick-oriented stimulation to get us off. And this is where the men folk and the women folk are much alike. You, like us, probably need a particular kind of stimulation to get you off. Be it vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, or whatever. If you acknowledge your genitals as a composite of parts that work together to bring you joy, then you’ll be less likely to be swayed by the claims, hype and misinformation about female sexual response.

Finally, regarding the issue of your boyfriend hitting your cervix. Yeah, that’ll hurt, don’t ‘cha know. I’d be willing to guess that he’s in the wrong position and being too athletic in his pumping when that happens. If he’s bumping your cervix, but you like the depth and athleticism of his manly thrusts, simply change position. That should remedy the problem.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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The Last Day of April Q&A Show — Podcast #330 — 04/30/12

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a delectable Q&A show in store for you today to close out the month of April. We will be hearing a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome, each will surely amaze and entertain. There’s a distinct religious overtone to some of these questions and there’s also more than a hint of desperation. Oh how I feel their pain.

  • Brian calls in while he’s jerkin’ off.
  • Nick calls in to tell us about his massive ass toys.
  • Richie is troubled by what the Church told him about being gay.
  • Lyn has been around the block a time or ten, her new BF is a virgin.
  • Hamlet is so stressed out he can’t keep his hardon.
  • Éric is wasting his money trying to grow himself a bigger dick. I suggest that he take a look at this POSTING.
  • Dan isn’t even through puberty yet and he’s worried about the size of his willie. I suggest he take a look at this VIDEO.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

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