Remedial Jerkology

— A Better Way To Handle Yourself

By Dr Dick

In the last installment of my series on male masturbation, we discussed problematic masturbation styles—how they can get in the way of satisfying partnered sex, and offered a surefire way to resolve these problems. This time around, I’d like to offer suggestions on how men can use different styles of masturbation to overcome certain dysfunctions, such as premature ejaculation.

Short Fuse Confusion

Here we have 28-year-old Marcos from NYC:

I may have premature ejaculation, meaning after I’m excited, I can’t hold it in (ejaculation) for more than a couple of minutes, which worries me regarding the pleasure I can provide… Suggestions, other than the eventual doctor visit?

The curious thing about premature ejaculation is that what constitutes “premature” is pretty subjective. Some men report that they can only last a minute or two, others say they can last only 15 minutes, but all consider themselves as premature ejaculators. I’m not trying to suggest that PE is a figment of one’s imagination. On the contrary; any guy who isn’t satisfied with the control he has or doesn’t have over his ejaculation may fall into this general category. In the same way, lasting longer, whatever “longer” might mean, is a relatively easy thing to accomplish. All you have to do is work at prolonging the pleasure.

Let’s start with how you masturbate, Marcos. If I had to guess, these sessions are speedy little affairs, right? A quick wank just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing, but if that’s all the self-pleasuring you do, it will interfere with your partnered pleasure later. Look at it this way: If your body is sensitized to coming quickly while masturbating, then that’s how it’ll respond with a partner.

I suggest that you reevaluate your self-pleasuring activities. Most, if not all of your masturbation should be dedicated to full-body masturbation. The object is to play with the sexual tension that develops in self-pleasuring, and to delay the your ejaculation for as long as you can.

As you become turned on you, build up sexual tension. Move the sexual energy all over your body as you stroke your cock. Touch and pleasure your whole body — feet, nipples, asshole, etc. Make the pleasure last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking yourself and concentrate your play on the other parts of your body. When the urge to come subsides, you can start stroking your dick again. Repeat the process ’til you can last 30 minutes. (By the way, some people refer to this as edging or edge play — coming to the edge of coming and then backing away. Get it? Got it? Good!)

The purpose of this exercise, besides the joy of getting off on your whole body, is to teach your body a different way to respond to cock stimulation. If you practice this method conscientiously, it will increase your sexual stamina both alone, and when you’re with a partner, too. Spread the sexual energy around. Concentrate on stalling your orgasm through the techniques you learned in your self-pleasuring. If you’re getting close to coming, pull out until you regain control; then resume. This will take some practice, but it’s worth the effort.

One final thing: If you’re concerned about the amount of pleasure you can provide, short fuse or not, I always encourage the men I work with in my private practice to look to pleasuring their partners before they even get warmed up themselves. But even after you come, you still have a mouth and hands and fingers with which to pleasure your partner, so there’s never an excuse to leave a partner unsatisfied, regardless of your own sexual response cycle.

Keeping the Genie in the Bottle

Now let’s turn our attention to two other masturbation styles—one that comes out of the Tantric sex tradition, the other comes to us by way of the world of kink. Both are similar to edging, inasmuch as they help gain control over our ejaculatory response, however, each of these practices evolved for very different purposes.

Tantric sex is interesting, if for no other reason that it distinguishes between orgasm and ejaculation; a distinction all men should know. Although they often happen at the same time, we are capable of having orgasms without ejaculating. In the Tantric practice of controlled ejaculation, men avoid ejaculating during masturbation (or partnered sex), making it possible to capture and extend the energy of orgasm. Refraining from, or holding off on ejaculation, men can actually become multiorgasmic. Learning to control the wave of our orgasmic energy without releasing that energy, or chi, through an ejaculation will at least give the practitioner a fuller, more intense orgasm.

Here’s how this works. If you take the time, you’ll notice that you have four distinct stages of erection: lengthening and filling; swelling; full erection; rigid erection. The fourth stage, rigid erection, signifies ejaculation is close at hand. Knowing this, you can incorporate a couple of Tantric techniques to quell the rising tide. Conscious breathing is a key for extended lovemaking. Rapid breathing excites and arouses you. Slow, controlled breathing, way down into your belly, calms you and helps delay ejaculation. Focusing on your breath takes your attention away from your genitals.

Throw in a few Kegel exercises to postpone ejaculation as well. These contractions of your pelvic floor muscles will allay the approaching ejaculation.

You can also delay ejaculation by gently tugging on your balls down and away from your body.

Tantric sex is all about you being conscious of your full self in your sexual practices, alone or with a partner. Being aware of and controlling your breathing, your genital muscles and the build-up of sexual tension will allow you to last as long as you’d like. Tantric practitioners speak of opening one’s self to our higher “spiritual” centers of ecstasy, bliss, joy, and wonder.

Finally, from the kinkier side of things there is a version of ejaculation control that is far edgier than what we’ve discussed so far. Here we have actual orgasm denial, which is often associated with cock and ball torture and/or chastity play. This is either self-induced or part of power play between a sub and his Dom. We’ll leave the power-play dynamic for another time. For now we’ll just look at this as a kinky masturbation technique.

Here’s a typical scenario. An edger will begin to wank like normal, but when he gets near to coming—he stops stroking. So far so good. But here is where the cock and ball torture may be introduced. The guy will often squeeze or slap his cock and balls till the urge to shoot subsides. Once the urge to come quiets down, he begins to stroke again. Stopping again whenever he approaches climax. He repeats this whole “stop and start” cycle, along with the CBT for as many times as he would like, so that when he finally shoots, if indeed he permits himself an orgasm, it will be much stronger and he’ll spew loads more spunk.

However, like all things edgy, you gotta know when enough is enough. I know a lot of men who edge and they swear by it. I also know that a number of these men are doing themselves a disservice, even harm, because they are practicing an extreme version of edging. In the end, despite the stand-up nature of our dick, it is a very delicate instrument. Intense edging, especially accompanied by nasty squeezing or slapping to quell the building ejaculation can be injurious. And if you overdo orgasm denial you can injure your prostate and seminal vesicles.

Good luck!

Tips on How to Increase Penis Sensitivity

— Experiencing a decrease in penis sensitivity can be a frustrating experience and something that people don’t often talk about. However, there are effective solutions available that can increase penis sensitivity and restore the pleasure experienced during sexual activities. This article will explore these solutions and provide valuable insights to help you regain a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experience.

By

  • Penis desensitization refers to reduced sensitivity in the penis, which can cause frustration and diminished sexual satisfaction.
  • People seek to enhance penis sensitivity for increased pleasure, intimacy, and sexual performance, leading to improved sexual satisfaction, confidence, and body image.
  • Penis desensitization may result from overstimulation, specific techniques, nerve damage, circulation problems, Peyronie’s disease, medications, age, psychological factors, hormone imbalances, drugs, alcohol, or medical conditions.
  • Treatments may involve lifestyle changes, medical management, and the use of products or exercises like Kegel exercises, cock rings, and topical solutions.

People seek to enhance penis sensitivity for various reasons, including heightened pleasure, improved intimacy, and enhanced sexual performance. Increased sensitivity in the penis plays a significant role in sexual experiences, allowing for a wide range of pleasurable sensations, deeper emotional connections with partners, and improved sexual response. It contributes to higher levels of sexual satisfaction, fosters better communication between partners, boosts sexual confidence, and positively impacts body image.

Understanding penis desensitization

Penis desensitization refers to experiencing reduced sensation in the penis compared to previous levels. While some sensitivity remains, it is noticeably less than what was previously experienced, leading to frustration and diminished sexual satisfaction. It is essential to distinguish this condition from a completely numb penis, where a person is unable to feel any sensation in certain areas or the entire penis.

What causes penis desensitization?

Penis desensitization can be caused by various factors, including:

  • Overstimulation or rough handling. Penis desensitization can be caused by overstimulation or rough handling during sexual activities, including gripping the penis too firmly during masturbation. Frequent or intense sexual activity without sufficient breaks in between can lead to temporary desensitization.
  • Specific masturbation techniques. Using a specific masturbation technique consistently may cause the penis to get used to that particular stimulation, making it challenging to experience pleasure through other means.
  • Nerve damage. Nerve damage in the penis can decrease sensitivity by disrupting the transmission of signals between the penis and the brain, leading to reduced sensation and responsiveness to sexual stimulation.
  • Circulation issues. Circulation issues can contribute to penile desensitization by affecting blood flow to the penis. Reduced blood flow can impact the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to the penile nerves and tissues, leading to decreased sensitivity.
  • Sitting for long periods. Prolonged sitting or bike riding can contribute to penile desensitization, as the pressure and reduced blood flow in the pelvic region can affect nerve sensitivity in the penis.
  • Peyronie’s disease. Peyronie’s disease involves the development of fibrous scar tissue, or plaques, within the penis, leading to penile curvature. This can also decrease sensitivity due to scarring.
  • Certain medications. Certain medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) used to treat depression and medications used to treat erectile dysfunction, have been associated with a decrease in penis sensitivity.
  • Age. Many people naturally experience decreased penis sensitivity as they age due to hormonal changes, reduced blood flow and nerve functioning, and medical conditions.
  • Psychological factors. Depression, stress, and anxiety are among the psychological factors that can contribute to penile desensitization.
  • Hormone imbalances. Hormone imbalances, such as hypogonadism, where the body doesn’t produce the correct amount of hormones, can cause a decrease in penis sensitivity.
  • Drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs, including nicotine, can decrease sensitivity in the penis by affecting the nervous system and blood flow, leading to reduced nerve responsiveness and impaired circulation.
  • Certain medical conditions. Medical conditions and diseases such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis, heart disease, prostate disease or infections, and sexually transmitted infections can cause the penis to become desensitized.

How can you increase penis sensitivity?

Treatments for increasing penis sensitivity can vary depending on the underlying factors causing desensitization. Here are some potential approaches to enhance penis sensitivity:

  • Overstimulation or rough handling. To prevent overstimulation and rough handling, practice moderation during sexual activity and masturbation. Consider using lubrication to reduce friction and protect the delicate penile tissues. Experiment with different techniques and pressure levels to find what works best for maintaining sensitivity.
  • Nerve damage. If nerve damage is the cause of decreased sensitivity, consult a healthcare professional to identify the underlying condition and explore treatment options. Managing conditions like diabetes or multiple sclerosis can help preserve nerve function and potentially improve sensitivity.
  • Circulation issues. To enhance penile blood flow and sensitivity, maintain a healthy lifestyle that includes regular exercise, a balanced diet, and avoiding smoking. Consult a healthcare provider to manage circulatory issues that may contribute to decreased sensitivity.
  • Sitting for long periods. If your lifestyle involves extended periods of sitting, take frequent breaks to stand and move around. Invest in a cushioned seat or use ergonomic aids to reduce pressure on the pelvic area. If you are a regular bike rider, choose a seat that is wider and has cushioning.
  • Peyronie’s disease. If diagnosed with Peyronie’s disease, seek guidance from a urologist or specialist. They may recommend treatments like medications, traction devices, or surgery to address the condition and improve sensitivity.
  • Certain medications. If you suspect medications are affecting your penile sensitivity, consult your healthcare provider. They may adjust your medication or recommend alternative treatments to minimize side effects on sexual function.
  • Age. Adopt a healthy lifestyle to counteract the effects of aging on sensitivity. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and stress management can positively impact sexual health and function.
  • Psychological factors. Engage in stress-reducing activities like meditation, yoga, or hobbies to promote relaxation and improve overall well-being. Seek guidance from a mental health practitioner to address underlying psychological factors that may contribute to desensitization.
  • Hormone imbalances. Consult a healthcare professional for hormone testing and appropriate treatments if you suspect hormonal imbalances. Hormone replacement therapy may be recommended to address decreased sensitivity due to low testosterone levels.
  • Drugs and alcohol. Limit alcohol and drug consumption, as they can affect sexual function and sensitivity. Moderation or abstaining from these substances can lead to improved sexual experiences.
  • Certain medical conditions. Properly manage medical conditions like diabetes or cardiovascular disease with the help of healthcare professionals. Effective management can improve overall health and potentially restore penile sensitivity.

Are there products or exercises that can help?

Along with addressing any underlying causes of decreased sensitivity, several products and exercises can be beneficial.

Kegel exercises, which strengthen pelvic floor muscles, may enhance blood flow to the genital area, which could lead to increased sensitivity. Cock rings restrict blood flow out of the penis, which enhances erections and may intensify sensations. Various creams, sprays, and lubricants are available that can be applied directly on the penis, which stimulates the skin and potentially increases sensitivity.

When to seek professional help

When the decrease in sensitivity significantly impacts your sexual pleasure and daily life, or if you experience numbness in your penis or suspect an underlying condition contributing to the reduced sensitivity, seeking professional help is essential. Start by consulting a sexologist or a general practitioner who can guide you to the relevant specialist based on the underlying cause, ensuring you receive appropriate and targeted treatment for your specific needs.

How to communicate with your partner

Having open and honest communication with your partner about penile sensitivity is essential for maintaining a strong and intimate relationship. Sharing your feelings and experiences through “I” statements can help your partner understand the physical and emotional impact the decreased sensitivity may have on you. Approach the conversation with empathy and compassion, emphasizing that it is a medical condition rather than something caused by their actions.

Encourage your partner to actively participate in the discussion, seeking solutions as a team. Show appreciation for their understanding and support while addressing the issue. Being open about your needs and concerns allows your partner to be more empathetic and supportive, fostering a deeper connection and a more fulfilling sexual experience for both of you. Remember that communication is the key to overcoming challenges and building a strong and intimate bond with your partner.

Complete Article HERE!

A sex educator explains orgasms

— Plus an exercise for expanded pleasure

The best orgasms come when you learn how to unlock a sexual “flow state.” Emily Nagoski, a sex educator, shares a meditation to help you get started.

With Emily Nagoski

EMILY NAGOSKI: Unfortunately, virtually all of the orgasms that are available to us in the mainstream media and in porn are fake. The classic example, of course, is “When Harry Met Sally,” Meg Ryan.

MEG RYAN: ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

EMILY NAGOSKI: Actually, what orgasm looks and sounds and feels like varies tremendously from person to person. But how do we learn about orgasm? We learn it from media, and we learn it from porn, and then we think we are doing it wrong if that’s not what our orgasm is like. And we’re not, we’re doing it right, we’re just not doing it the way we were told. And if other people have a problem with the way our orgasms actually are, those are not the people you have sex with. So the first thing we should talk about is what an orgasm actually is. Then we should talk about how they actually happen. Followed, of course, by why they sometimes don’t. And then at the end, I’ll give you some tips to have the biggest, most expansive orgasm you’ve had in your life.

I think people believe that orgasm is a genital function. It is not. Sometimes genitals are involved, but orgasm is something that happens in the brain. And there is a reliable neurological marker for when orgasm happens. And it depends how you measure it. If you measure it one way, at orgasm, the prefrontal cortex goes dark- all of the inhibitory impulses just vanish. In a different kind of machine, the brain lights up everywhere. It’s a whole brain response, orgasm. You have to have a brain to have an orgasm. How we experience an orgasm as pleasurable or not depends on the context in which we’re experiencing it. So when you have a great, sex-positive context, orgasm can feel really good. But for some people, they might have an orgasm during unwanted sex. In that case, the orgasm feels like a betrayal, like their body has done something wrong and they feel broken.

So what orgasm actually is, here’s the definition I use: “It is the spontaneous involuntary release of neuromuscular tension generated in response to sex-related stimuli.” People can have orgasms from having their toes sucked. People can have orgasms from having their ear lobe sucked. People can have orgasms through breath and imagination. The only measure of an orgasm is whether or not you wanted and liked it. If you wanted and liked it, then it doesn’t matter what kind of stimulation got you there. Whatever works for you, is what works for you.

So we can’t even necessarily differentiate between which organ in your body is causing the orgasm to happen. There’s only one: There’s a brain orgasm. We can really struggle around an issue like orgasm, which seems so simple, but we’re taught that our identities are tied to our ability to have orgasms. One of the common experiences for people who struggle with orgasm is this thing that sex therapists call “spectatoring.” Where instead of enjoying the sensations that are happening in your body, you’re sort of watching your body; and worrying about it and thinking about is your face okay, should you be bending your spine in that direction? And all of that worry about your body is just keeping the brakes on and making it more difficult for you to enjoy the sex you are having.

Charles Carver, the researcher in Florida who, with his colleagues, developed this mechanism called ‘Criterion velocity and the discrepancy-reducing increasing feedback loop.’ I just call it “the little monitor.” And it’s as if there is a little monitor in your brain that knows what your goal is. It keeps track of how much effort you put in toward that goal, and it notices how much progress you’re making toward that goal. And it has a strong opinion about the ratio of effort to progress. When your little monitor switches its assessment of your goal from being attainable to being unattainable, it pushes you off an emotional cliff from frustrated rage down into a pit of despair.

The ironic intervention when you’re struggling with orgasm is take orgasm entirely off the table for a long time, months at a time, and just explore your erotic landscape: experience high levels of arousal, and lower levels of arousal, and feel what it feels like to approach orgasm knowing that you are not going to have one. The reason we take away the goal entirely is to help the monitor relax. Are you achieving your goal? If your goal is pleasure, and your little monitor is like “Pleasure: check!” your monitor is released from the necessity of judging you and trying to motivate you to work harder. Working harder to have an orgasm is rarely the thing that’s gonna get people where they wanna go. And if people struggle too long and they feel like there’s something wrong with them and they’re broken, they absolutely find themselves in a pit of despair. And if you’re feeling in a dark place because there’s something wrong with your orgasms: connection with other people, connection is the most important antidote to the darkness. The only measure of an orgasm is whether or not you wanted and liked it. If you practice experiencing pleasure without making it goal-oriented or trying to achieve orgasm, but rather just to experience all the pleasurable sensations your body is capable of, you win every time.

So here’s an exercise that helps you to expand your orgasms: Anyone with any set of genitals of any gender identity can practice this. You can do it alone or with a partner. This takes about an hour, generally, and it takes a lot of practice. You gotta choose how you spend your time. You could do this or you could just like watch Netflix. It is not necessary in order to be a sexually-well person by any means; it is the equivalent of running a marathon. Nobody needs to do it, but if you need a hobby, I recommend this one. Versions of this are part of tantric meditations where they use Kundalini breathing in order to access different spiritual states, but ultimately, it’s about the physiology of how orgasm tension generates and dissipates. And when you can get to a place where as much tension is coming in as is going out at the same time, it’s like every cell in your body is resonating at the same rhythm, like you’re a bell that’s ringing. You’re gonna notice some things about this practice that will probably remind you of mindfulness or other forms of meditation, especially breath meditation.

I’m gonna ask you to pay attention to the sensations that are happening in your body. And that comes really easily to some people, and for others, it is quite difficult. They get distracted, and that’s fine. Like a mindfulness practice, if you notice other distracting thoughts come along, and maybe it’s a thought about body self-criticism, maybe it’s a thought about the past, just, “Hello, distracting thought. I’m gonna put you on a shelf right now, and I’m gonna turn my attention back to the sensations that are happening all over my body.”

Every orgasm is different from every other orgasm, but there are some strategies that work for a lot of people to move in the direction of having quite an enormous orgasm. You imagine arousal from like zero, not at all aroused to 10, currently having an orgasm. You stimulate yourself in whatever way works for you up to about a five, and then you allow that arousal to dissipate. You let yourself get back down to a one. So a one just feels like just barely any attention drifting toward orgasm. And then you stimulate yourself back up to a six, right? This is still a middle level of arousal. You’re not very aroused, you’re nowhere near orgasm. And then you allow your arousal to drift back down to a two and then you stimulate yourself back up to a seven. And if you are at the beginning of this process, you’re gonna be learning what seven feels like versus a three, which you’re gonna let your arousal drift back down to a three, and then you’re going up to an eight. And at eight, you’re real aroused. You might see the orgasm train coming to the station. It’s not there yet, but you can hear it- there’s a whistle. And then you allow your arousal to drift back down to a four or a five. And then you go up to an eight and a half, go back down to a six. And up to a nine.

Now when you get to a nine, the orgasm train is pulling into the station and the doors are opening and you would like to get on, but you’re gonna put active effort into allowing your arousal to dissipate. Remember, it’s neurophysiological tension, so you’re just going to allow the tension. You’re literally going to breathe and soften all the muscles of your body because as you get to that eight, eight and a half, nine level of arousal, you’re gonna begin to experience carpal pedal spasms, carpal like carpal tunnel syndrome. Your hands are gonna clutch and your feet are gonna point and your ankles. And that’s involuntary. And you’re gonna make a voluntary choice to soften all of your muscles and let your arousal go back down to a seven, which is a high level of arousal but it’s not an eight or a nine. And you go back up to a nine and a half. Now at a nine and a half, you’ve got one foot on the train and it might feel like it’s pulling outta the station. And you know what? If the train pulls outta the station while you’re on the orgasm train, “Oh dear, you had an orgasm.” That’s not failure, right? But, if you can, you keep your foot off the orgasm train and you go back down to an eight, nine and three quarters and an eight and a half, and a 9.85 where you are really close like you can feel the orgasm right there. And you’re gonna soften all the muscles in your body from your core out to the periphery. And at this point, you are oscillating right at the peak of where orgasm is. And if you can maintain a balance of tension generation and tension relaxation, you can stay in that state and sustain it indefinitely.

Complete Article HERE!

9 Benefits of Sex Therapy

—The benefits of sex therapy are multiple and go beyond those related to sexual dysfunctions. Take note of all the information.

By Valeria Sabater

Currently, a significant part of the population is unaware of all the benefits of sex therapy. There’s still a certain stigma and the classic belief that only those who present some dysfunction, such as anorgasmia or premature ejaculation, go to these professionals. However, this methodology addresses multiple dynamics and needs.

It’s important to know that its most relevant purpose is to make you feel good. Such an objective implies achieving everything from having satisfactory intimate relationships to building happier bonds with your partner.

Addressing concerns and possible traumas or even giving you guidelines to guide your adolescent children on issues related to sex are also some of the benefits of sex therapy. In this article, we’ll explain everything this form of therapy does for you.

What are the benefits of sex therapy?

Sex therapy was developed in the 1960s, thanks to the marriage of William Masters and Virginia Johnson. Their book, Human Sexual Response (1966), was quite revolutionary because it broke down many prejudices and taboos. Since then, this approach has been strengthened, and it integrates the medical model with the psychological one.

The technique is feasible both for individuals and for couples and is based on conversation that creates a framework of trust from which to provide solutions and tools for having a more harmonious life on both emotional and sexual levels. In addition, it has great scientific endorsement and, every day, contributes to recovering the well-being of thousands of people. Below, we’ll describe the main benefits of sex therapy.

1. It contributes to having a more satisfying sex life

Sex life with your partner may no longer be as exciting or satisfying as it used to be. Sometimes, without any physiological problem, there’s something wrong and it’s difficult to restore that special harmony you used to share. A work published in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior indicates that one of the most common causes for which therapy is sought is a discrepancy in sexual desire.

The fact that one partner in the relationship wants to have sex more often, while the other avoids it, is common. Therefore, something a sex therapist will guide and help you with is having a full intimate life. This implies resolving any difficulties, disagreements, or inconveniences in this area.

2. The treatment of sexual problems

Throughout our lives, people can go through different sexual problems. Sometimes it’s a difficulty in achieving an orgasm, while, in other cases, conditioning factors such as menopause, times of stress, or suffering from a disease play a part when it comes to enjoying intimate relationships.

Mayo Clinic Proceedings reports something important in a study. A significant portion of sexual dysfunctions in women go unrecognized and untreated. Men are also often reticent on this issue. For this reason, it’s important for society to become aware of the benefits of sexual therapy. Next, we’ll go into detail about the conditions that the methodology usually addresses:

  • Phobias
  • Paraphilias and sexual fixations
  • Vaginismus
  • Premature ejaculation
  • Male impotence
  • Hypoactive sexual disorder
  • Female Orgasmic Disorder
  • Male Orgasmic Disorder
  • Possible sexual addictions
  • Sexual problems in menopause
  • Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)
  • Sexual difficulties associated with aging
  • Sexual problems associated with other diseases
  • Improving the sex life of couples during and after pregnancy
  • Improving the sex life of people with physical or psychological disabilities

3. Discovery of the most powerful sexual organ

The most decisive sexual organ is your brain, and the best way to have a satisfying sex life is to stimulate your imagination. In this way, some aspects that you’ll work on in therapy are your fantasies and desires.

These dimensions are extraordinary channels for awakening eroticism and enlivening your relationship as a couple, deactivating prejudices, and dismissing shame.

4. Reducing fears and anxiety

Have you heard of sexual performance anxiety? There are many people who doubt their ability to offer pleasure to their partners. The fear of not being up to the task, failing, or appearing clumsy or inexperienced is a frequent reality in clinical practice.

For this reason, one of the benefits of sex therapy is to address fears related to sex. There are multiple strategies that make it easier to effectively resolve insecurities in order to have a rewarding sex life.

Likewise, therapists always create a space of empathy, security, and trust from which to clarify your doubts and receive effective advice in any area. Psychoeducation on sexual matters also falls within their tasks.

The pharmaceutical industry seeks to provide a solution to sexual dysfunctions that can be addressed through sex therapy. Many of the problems in this area have more to do with mental factors than with physiological conditions.

5. Overcoming sexual trauma

An article in the scientific journal Frontiers in Psychology highlights that patients with sexual trauma need a special type of care that provides adequate security and respect for their personal history. Sex therapy has always addressed such delicate realities as abuse, rape, or mistreatment in couple relationships.

6. Enhanced intimacy and emotional connection

Authentic pleasure in sex doesn’t occur in the body but originates in the brain, as we’ve already suggested. If you’re in crisis with your partner and there are unaddressed grudges or disagreements, it’ll be difficult to enjoy intimacy. Given this, a sex therapist guides you to promote coexistence and connection with your loved one through the following strategies:

  • Teaching resources to solve problems
  • Offering techniques that improve communication
  • Providing strategies to revive desire in the relationship
  • Facilitating spaces in which partners can get to know each other in a more intimate and profound way
  • Collaborating in better regulating emotions in order to connect in a meaningful way

7. Sex therapy allows you to get to know yourself much better

One of the most notable benefits of sex therapy is its impact on your mental health. Sex goes beyond the biological field: It’s also a psychological dimension and, above all, a cultural one. Sometimes, the way you’re educated or even the prejudices you have on this subject condition your ability to enjoy a full life in this regard.

The specialist in this area will allow you to explore and get to know yourself better as a person. You’ll be able to understand your sexuality, fantasies, and desires. No matter your age or the personal moment in which you find yourself, you always have time to look within yourself, drop your defenses, reformulate misconceptions about sex, and enjoy it.

8. It’s an inclusive therapy

Today’s sex therapy is also inclusive. What does this mean? You can find therapists trained in sexual diversity. McGill University in Montreal alludes to the advances that exist right now. This clinical field moves with our times and works to challenge stereotypes and promote a more inclusive and equitable vision of sexuality.

In this way, members of the LGBTIQ+ community benefit from more sensitive, trained, and effective attention to their particular needs and realities.

9. The prevention of future problems

Sex therapy not only addresses problems and educates us in the field of sexuality, but it also has a decisive role in prevention. Even if right now you feel good in your life as a couple and have good intimate health, it never hurts to learn new tools to avoid or address possible future problems.

Knowing, for example, how daily stress affects sexuality or how to respond to monotony in your emotional bond through new approaches are strategies that therapists educate you.

How to find a sex therapist who can help me?

Remember, you don’t have to wait for serious problems in order to start sex therapy. It’s best to go as soon as you have a concern or doubts or don’t feel satisfaction with your intimate life. If you want to look for a therapist in this area, look at the fields in which they specialize. There are some professionals who exclusively address organic or medical aspects.

However, most are prepared to treat both possible dysfunctions and relational problems and advise you on any aspect related to sexuality. Always contact specialists who follow techniques backed by science and don’t forget the most decisive thing: Being honest. Don’t be afraid to express your needs and concerns. Only then will you receive the best care possible.

It might interest you…

Complete Article HERE!

Exercise Can Help Men Last Longer During Sex

— A new research review concludes that running, yoga, and pelvic floor workouts can all help solve the problem of premature ejaculation.

One study found that running 30 minutes five times a week was as effective as medication for men who experience premature ejaculation.

By Becky Upham

Exercise could be as effective as pharmaceutical treatments in treating premature ejaculation, according to a new study published in the journal Trends in Urology and Men’s Health.

The review looked at 54 studies and nearly 3,500 participants to examine the effectiveness of nondrug interventions for premature ejaculation.

“We know premature ejaculation is a common complaint among men worldwide. The lack of a clear definition of what is or isn’t premature ejaculation has repercussions in terms of treatment, and there are relatively few effective drugs available,” said senior author Lee Smith, PhD, professor of public health at Anglia Ruskin University in Cambridge, England, in a press release.

The findings of this review suggest that physical exercise, including running and pelvic floor workouts, can help treat premature ejaculation, said Dr. Smith.

How Common Is Premature Ejaculation?

Because there hasn’t been a single definition of premature ejaculation, estimates on how many men experience it vary widely, according to the U.K. researchers. Depending on the study, prevalence ranges from 30 percent to 83 percent of men, they wrote. 

Mayo Clinic defines premature ejaculation as a man ejaculating sooner than he wants to while having sex. If it happens only rarely, it isn’t cause for concern.

A man might be diagnosed with premature ejaculation in the following scenarios:

  • Always or nearly always ejaculates within 1 to 3 minutes of penetration
  • Is never or rarely able to delay ejaculation during sex
  • Feels distressed and frustrated about timing of ejaculation and tends to avoid sexual intimacy as a result

Regular Exercise Can Help Men Delay Ejaculation

The authors found that regular physical activity as an intervention had promising results in many of the studies they analyzed in their research review.

For example, a study with 105 participants found that running for 30 minutes five times a week helped extend latency time (time until ejaculation occurs) as much as taking dapoxetine, a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) drug approved for use in premature ejaculation outside the United States.

Two other studies linked yoga with statistically significant improvements in delaying ejaculation.

Pelvic Floor Exercises May Also Help

Exercising pelvic floor muscles was also shown to have some benefits. Men who practiced pelvic floor exercises increased latency time from a median of 1 minute to 3 minutes.

Pelvic floor muscles play a role in ejaculation, and men who can strengthen and improve pelvic muscle control may be able to delay ejaculation by relaxing their perineal muscles, according to the Sexual Medicine Society of North America (SMSNA).

Also called Kegel exercises, pelvic floor workouts can help strengthen these muscles, according to Mayo Clinic.

Medication for Premature Ejaculation Is Limited

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved any drugs specifically for premature ejaculation, though physicians may prescribe some medications off-label.

Topical numbing agents can reduce sensation and help delay ejaculation. There are also oral medications that may help delay orgasm, including antidepressants, pain relievers, and drugs used for erectile dysfunction, according to the American Urological Association.

“Given that drugs often have side effects, it appears that after all, the best medicine for avoiding premature ejaculation may well lie in exercise, and this possibility requires larger studies and further investigation,” said Smith.

Treating Erectile Dysfunction May Help Treat Premature Ejaculation

Some of the studies included in the review found benefits when the men with premature ejaculation were also treated for concurrent erectile dysfunction (ED), notes Raevti Bole, MD, a urologist at Cleveland Clinic, who was not involved in the research.

“I would agree that treating ED (if present) is a very important initial treatment,” she says.

It’s Important to Consider Multiple Treatment Options

Systematic reviews can be useful in that they are able to consolidate the results of many studies, says Dr. Bole.

But even a well-executed systematic review is only as good as the studies that are included, she points out. Because many of the studies the review included didn’t use the same definition of premature ejaculation, there may be different types of patients with varying degrees of premature ejaculation, says Bole.

“The studies included also had small numbers of patients, which makes it difficult to tell whether the result was due to the treatment or chance,” she adds.

Nevertheless, the review shows that it’s important to consider multiple options when treating premature ejaculation. “A lot of factors affect premature ejaculation, including hormones, stress, anxiety, prior sexual episodes, and [overall] erectile function,” she says.

Because every patient is a little different, there is no one-size-fits-all treatment. “Medication, exercise, counseling, sex therapy, yoga, pelvic floor rehabilitation, treating underlying medical conditions — all of these things play a role,” she says.

Concerned About Premature Ejaculation? Talk With Your Physician

It’s also important for patients to understand that many men may be concerned about premature ejaculation, and there’s no shame in talking about it with their doctor, says Bole.

“Many times, patients will talk to us and realize that they’re very much within normal range for ejaculatory latency. They just didn’t know what ‘normal’ was,” says Bole. “But if we do diagnose an issue, we can work together to come up with a solution.”

Complete Article HERE!

The Life-Changing Magic of a Urologist

— Here are three issues you may want to address with a professional.

By Jancee Dunn< Urologists often deal with health problems that arise from two very intimate functions: peeing and sex. Because of this, “most urologists tend to have a lot of brevity and a bit of humor, because we know these are hard topics for our patients,” said Maria Uloko, a urologist at UC San Diego Health and assistant professor of urology at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine.

In my experience (as both a patient and a health journalist), urologists will happily discuss the subjects that some of us laypeople tend to avoid: erectile problems, peeing too much, peeing too little, painful sex, dwindling or nonexistent orgasms, urinary tract infections and the list goes on.

Rachel Rubin, a urologist and sexual health specialist based outside Washington, D.C., said many people don’t share these issues with their doctor even if they are ongoing; they simply learn to live with discomfort. “They’ll tell themselves, ‘Well, that’s just aging. Suck it up,’” Dr. Rubin said. But, “if it bothers you and it matters to you, then it’s a medical problem with medical solutions.”

There are two parts of a urologist’s job. “There’s the serious illness stuff, like cancers,” said Nelson Bennett, a professor of urology at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, who specializes in male sexual function. “But there’s a big chunk of our practice that is basically quality of life. I tell my patients that no one dies of not having an erection, but they’re still suffering.” All of this may be why people who have seen a urologist (present company included) sometimes say the results are life altering.

Here are three issues you may want to address with a professional.

Erection problems

If you have erectile dysfunction, Dr. Rubin said: “Don’t be embarrassed. So do your friends.” Erectile dysfunction affects as many as 30 million men in the United States, according to the American Urological Association.

There are treatment options for almost every erectile problem, including oral medications, injectable medications, surgery and cognitive behavioral therapy, Dr. Bennett said.

Although it can be tempting to furtively order medications such as Viagra on direct-to-consumer websites, a practice that Dr. Bennett found, in a 2021 study, is dramatically increasing, he said there are several reasons to see a specialist instead. “We can actually begin to figure out why you’re having the problem, as opposed to just taking medication to cover it up,” he said. Some medications can also affect erections, such as antidepressants, which can cause orgasms to be delayed, or vanish altogether. And a urologist can screen for those, he said.

What’s more, erection problems can be a sign of heart problems down the road. Penis arteries, which are one millimeter in diameter, are very small, compared with heart arteries, which are 3 millimeters. “So if you’re clogging your small pipes first, you may have erectile dysfunction before you have your first heart attack,” Dr. Rubin said.

“Those are the guys you need to start looking at,” said Dr. Bennett, “because we know that erectile issues will predate cardiovascular issues by about 10 years.”

Painful sex

For older women, painful sex is a leading sign of genitourinary syndrome of menopause, or G.S.M., a term that in 2014 replaced the dispiriting phrase “vulvovaginal atrophy.” During perimenopause and beyond, as estrogen leaves a woman’s body, the tissues in the vulva, vagina and urinary tract become dryer, less supple and more sensitive. This process can cause recurrent urinary tract infections and incontinence, and sex can become excruciating, which takes many women by surprise, Dr. Rubin said. G.S.M. may affect up to half of postmenopausal women, according to a 2019 review, and is “unlikely to improve without treatment.”

What has been shown to work for conditions like G.S.M., Dr. Rubin said, are treatments like inserts with DHEA, a steroid that mimics hormones, lubricants and moisturizers; ospemifene, an oral medication that is approved by the Federal Drug Administration to treat G.S.M.; vaginal dilators; and low-dose topical vaginal estrogen.

“There’s not a cocktail party or children’s birthday party where I don’t recommend vaginal hormones,” Dr. Rubin said. (It is important, however, that you discuss any of these treatments with your own doctor first.)

Pelvic floor therapy is another option, Dr. Rubin added. “Pelvic floor therapists rehab your muscles, just like you would do rehab after a knee replacement.” And you don’t have to do it forever, she added. “Physical therapists are there to optimize your pelvis and send you out the door.”

Then there’s the D.I.Y. approach: a 2023 review found that vibrators were considered “an accepted modality” to treat vulvar pain. “I think doctors should be prescribing vibrators, which are health aids, just like eyeglasses or hearing aids,” Dr. Rubin added. “The more we normalize them and educate patients in exam rooms about them, the better.”

Bladder issues

You may know that bladder control loss afflicts women at various hormonal stages in their lives — pregnancy, after giving birth and during menopause — but “men are plagued by urinary incontinence, too,” Dr. Bennett said. A quarter to a third of Americans have incontinence, according to the American Urological Association.

There are two main types: “stress incontinence,” which means sudden leaking brought on by activities like coughing, sneezing or exercise, and “urgency incontinence,” a strong and immediate urge to pee, which sends you on a mad dash to the bathroom.

Some male patients will visit the bathroom 10 times a night because of a prostate issue, which leads to sleep deprivation, Dr. Bennett said.

Some treatments for urinary incontinence include medication, and for women, vaginal estrogen, but urologists also teach patients Kegel exercises, use electrical stimulation and employ pelvic floor physical therapy. (Men have a pelvic floor, too.)

Urologists, Dr. Uloko said, “are really glorified plumbers. We know how to fix the leaks.”

Complete Article HERE!

The exact way to squeeze your pelvic muscles during sex for a super intense orgasm

Doing kegels during sex can make it feel better for you — and your partner.

By

  • Kegels can benefit your sex life by increasing sensation, lubrication, and the ability to orgasm.
  • They also can help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which helps prevent vaginal prolapse.
  • To do kegels, contract and release the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine.

If you’re looking to enhance your sex life, there may be a solution that you can do any time, anywhere: kegel exercise. Kegel exercises engage your pelvic floor muscles. They can keep you healthy and may even make your sex life more fulfilling says sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel, who works with couples and individuals to enhance their sex lives.

While doing Kegels won’t make you a better lover, they may make it easier for people with a vagina to orgasm, Siegel says. They may help the 10%-15% of women who have never had an orgasm, and others who find it difficult to orgasm.

And it’s not just people with a vagina who can reap the benefits of Kegels — birth-assigned males can also experience heightened sexual pleasure from strengthening their pelvic floor Siegel says.

Here’s why they are beneficial and how to do them.

The benefits of Kegels for people with a vagina

Kegels have the most benefit for people with a vagina.

1. Make your pelvic floor stronger

“Kegel exercises are a simple and effective way to strengthen those pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, and bowel,” says Dr. Sherry Ross, an OB-GYN and author of “She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health.”

The pelvic floor includes the levator ani, coccygeus, and pubococcygeal (PC) muscle, the ones you use to stop the flow of urine. These muscles act like a hammock or sling supporting the internal organs in the pelvis — but they often weaken with age, especially in people who have given birth vaginally.

Strengthening these muscles can help you avoid:

  • Incontinence, or the inability to hold pee or poop until you make it to the toilet.
  • Pain during sex
  • Vaginal prolapse, a condition where the vagina muscles weaken and sag into the vaginal canal.
  • Pelvic floor dysfunction, or the inability to control your pelvic floor muscles.

2. Increase sensation and lubrication

Kegels can boost blood flow to the pelvis, which increases sensation and lubrication of the vagina. Many people find that increased lubrication increases pleasure for both partners during sex.

In addition, Kegels help prevent pelvic floor dysfunction. Women with pelvic floor dysfunction often have lower sexual satisfaction, fewer orgasms, and lower libido. Researchers can’t say exactly why, but it may be because conditions like prolapse or incontinence make it difficult to get in the mood.

3. Strengthen orgasm for both partners

Learning to activate the pelvic floor muscles allows you to contract them during sex.

Squeezing your pelvic muscles in the buildup to orgasm may help you experience a more powerful sensation when you come, says Ross. During orgasm, muscles throughout the body pulse and release involuntarily. Adding to this with kegels can make the sensation more intense.

It can also boost pleasure for your partner: “When a woman does Kegels during vaginal intercourse, the pelvic floor muscles contract on the penis — enhancing his sexual experience as well,” Ross says.

4. Make pelvic exams less painful

Relaxing the muscles during a Kegel is equally important as contracting. Learning to relax can reduce your risk of pain during sex or painful pelvic exams by letting you open the vagina more fully, says Ross.

Kegel benefits for people with a penis

Keeping the pelvic floor healthy is important for people with a penis too.

Kegels can help with male incontinence. This is especially important for people who have had prostate surgery, who often experience incontinence.

Doing Kegels regularly can also improve sexual experience for people with a penis. This is because Kegels increase blood flow to the groin and penis, which can boost sensation and may help combat erectile dysfunction (ED).

Unfortunately, there’s limited research in this area. A small 2005 study found that men with ED who performed Kegels in addition to making lifestyle changes had fewer ED symptoms than a control group. A small 2020 study suggested that kegels may be helpful for ED when they’re done long term.

“While Kegel exercises are primarily associated with women, many men can get similar benefits from doing them,” Siegel says.

How to get started with doing Kegels

Before you can do Kegels, you need to understand the muscles that you’re trying to activate.

How to find your pelvic floor muscles

The easiest way to find your pelvic floor muscles is to imagine that you’re urinating. From there, try to stop the imaginatory stream by contracting your PC muscles, says Ross. This works for both males and females. Try to tighten those muscles without tightening your legs, abs, or glutes.

People with a vagina can take a more hands-on approach to feeling their pelvic floor muscles, Ross says:

  1. Insert two fingers into your vagina.
  2. Contract your PC muscles, which you would use to stop the flow of urine.
  3. As they contract, feel a light squeeze on your fingers.
  4. Relax fully, and feel the grip on your fingers loosen.

People with a penis can find their pelvic floor muscles by trying to tighten their rectum. It’s the same movement that you might use if you’re trying to hold in a fart.

How to do Kegels

Once you’ve isolated your pelvic floor muscles, the foundation of doing Kegels is the same for all genders.

Here’s how to do them.

1. Empty your bladder. As you become more accustomed to doing Kegels you’ll be able to do them anywhere, anytime, but it’s best not to do them with a full bladder since that can strain your muscles.

2. Contract your PC muscles. Hold for 3-5 seconds when you first start. Build toward the goal of holding for ten seconds.

3. Relax your muscles entirely. Keep them relaxed for the same length of time that you held them tight.

4. Repeat this 10-15 times, three times a day. “The key to Kegels is consistency and regularity, doing them several times a day,” Siegel says.

After you’ve mastered that, try flutter Kegels, Ross says. With this variation, you contract and relax the muscles quickly, rather than holding the contraction. Do this for 30 seconds.

When you’re performing Kegels, keep these tips in mind:

  • Breath normally. Don’t hold your breath.
  • Keep your abs, thighs and butt relaxed. This helps isolate the pelvic floor muscles.
  • Find a regular time to do Kegels each day, like while at stop lights or while brushing your teeth.

Insider’s takeaway

Kegel exercises teach you how to contract and relax your pelvic floor muscles. This helps you build a strong pelvic floor which can help with things like incontinence and sexual satisfaction.

Kegels are convenient because they can be done discreetly anywhere, at any time. Anyone can benefit from them, and they’re safe for everyone. The most challenging part about them is working them into your daily routine consistently.

“There are absolutely no downsides to doing Kegel exercises,” says Ross. “Once you learn how to do them correctly, Kegels should be a permanent part of your daily routine.”

Complete Article HERE!

How to use Kegels to orgasm harder, boost sensation, and increase lubrication

By

  • Kegels can benefit your sex life by increasing sensation, lubrication, and the ability to orgasm.
  • They also can help strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which helps prevent vaginal prolapse.
  • To do kegels, contract and release the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine.

If you’re looking to enhance your sex life, there may be a solution that you can do any time, anywhere: kegel exercise. Kegel exercises engage your pelvic floor muscles. They can keep you healthy and may even make your sex life more fulfilling says sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel, who works with couples and individuals to enhance their sex lives.

While doing Kegels won’t make you a better lover, they may make it easier for people with a vagina to orgasm, Siegel says. They may help the 10%-15% of women who have never had an orgasm, and others who find it difficult to orgasm.

And it’s not just people with a vagina who can reap the benefits of Kegels — birth-assigned males can also experience heightened sexual pleasure from strengthening their pelvic floor Siegel says.

Here’s why they are beneficial and how to do them.

The benefits of Kegels for people with a vagina

Kegels have the most benefit for people with a vagina.

1. Make your pelvic floor stronger

“Kegel exercises are a simple and effective way to strengthen those pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder, and bowel,” says Dr. Sherry Ross, an OB-GYN and author of “She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health.”

The pelvic floor includes the levator ani, coccygeus, and pubococcygeal (PC) muscle, the ones you use to stop the flow of urine. These muscles act like a hammock or sling supporting the internal organs in the pelvis — but they often weaken with age, especially in people who have given birth vaginally.

Strengthening these muscles can help you avoid:

  • Incontinence, or the inability to hold pee or poop until you make it to the toilet.
  • Pain during sex
  • Vaginal prolapse, a condition where the vagina muscles weaken and sag into the vaginal canal.
  • Pelvic floor dysfunction, or the inability to control your pelvic floor muscles.

2. Increase sensation and lubrication

Kegels can boost blood flow to the pelvis, which increases sensation and lubrication of the vagina. Many people find that increased lubrication increases pleasure for both partners during sex.

In addition, Kegels help prevent pelvic floor dysfunction. Women with pelvic floor dysfunction often have lower sexual satisfaction, fewer orgasms, and lower libido. Researchers can’t say exactly why, but it may be because conditions like prolapse or incontinence make it difficult to get in the mood.

3. Strengthen orgasm for both partners

Learning to activate the pelvic floor muscles allows you to contract them during sex.

Squeezing your pelvic muscles in the buildup to orgasm may help you experience a more powerful sensation when you come, says Ross. During orgasm, muscles throughout the body pulse and release involuntarily. Adding to this with kegels can make the sensation more intense.

It can also boost pleasure for your partner: “When a woman does Kegels during vaginal intercourse, the pelvic floor muscles contract on the penis — enhancing his sexual experience as well,” Ross says.

4. Make pelvic exams less painful

Relaxing the muscles during a Kegel is equally important as contracting. Learning to relax can reduce your risk of pain during sex or painful pelvic exams by letting you open the vagina more fully, says Harris.

Kegel benefits for people with a penis

Keeping the pelvic floor healthy is important for people with a penis too.

Kegels can help with male incontinence. This is especially important for people who have had prostate surgery, who often experience incontinence.

Doing Kegels regularly can also improve sexual experience for people with a penis. This is because Kegels increase blood flow to the groin and penis, which can boost sensation and may help combat erectile dysfunction (ED).

Unfortunately, there’s limited research in this area. A small 2005 study found that men with ED who performed Kegels in addition to making lifestyle changes had fewer ED symptoms than a control group. A small 2020 study suggested that kegels may be helpful for ED when they’re done long term.

“While Kegel exercises are primarily associated with women, many men can get similar benefits from doing them,” Siegel says.

How to get started with doing Kegels

Before you can do Kegels, you need to understand the muscles that you’re trying to activate.

How to find your pelvic floor muscles

The easiest way to find your pelvic floor muscles is to imagine that you’re urinating. From there, try to stop the imaginatory stream by contracting your PC muscles, says Ross. This works for both males and females. Try to tighten those muscles without tightening your legs, abs, or glutes.

People with a vagina can take a more hands-on approach to feeling their pelvic floor muscles, Ross says:

  1. Insert two fingers into your vagina.
  2. Contract your PC muscles, which you would use to stop the flow of urine.
  3. As they contract, feel a light squeeze on your fingers.
  4. Relax fully, and feel the grip on your fingers loosen.

People with a penis can find their pelvic floor muscles by trying to tighten their rectum. It’s the same movement that you might use if you’re trying to hold in a fart.

How to do Kegels

Once you’ve isolated your pelvic floor muscles, the foundation of doing Kegels is the same for all genders.

Here’s how to do them.

1. Empty your bladder. As you become more accustomed to doing Kegels you’ll be able to do them anywhere, anytime, but it’s best not to do them with a full bladder since that can strain your muscles.

2. Contract your PC muscles. Hold for 3-5 seconds when you first start. Build toward the goal of holding for ten seconds.

3. Relax your muscles entirely. Keep them relaxed for the same length of time that you held them tight.

4. Repeat this 10-15 times, three times a day. “The key to Kegels is consistency and regularity, doing them several times a day,” Siegel says.

After you’ve mastered that, try flutter Kegels, Ross says. With this variation, you contract and relax the muscles quickly, rather than holding the contraction. Do this for 30 seconds.

When you’re performing Kegels, keep these tips in mind:

  • Breath normally. Don’t hold your breath.
  • Keep your abs, thighs and butt relaxed. This helps isolate the pelvic floor muscles.
  • Find a regular time to do Kegels each day, like while at stop lights or while brushing your teeth.

Insider’s takeaway

Kegel exercises teach you how to contract and relax your pelvic floor muscles. This helps you build a strong pelvic floor which can help with things like incontinence and sexual satisfaction.

Kegels are convenient because they can be done discreetly anywhere, at any time. Anyone can benefit from them, and they’re safe for everyone. The most challenging part about them is working them into your daily routine consistently.

“There are absolutely no downsides to doing Kegel exercises,” says Ross. “Once you learn how to do them correctly, Kegels should be a permanent part of your daily routine.”

Complete Article HERE!

3 Pelvic Floor Workouts That Support Better Sex

— According to a Pelvic Floor Therapist

By Natalie Arroyo Camacho

Every person has a pelvic floor, a sling of muscles connecting the pubic bone and the tailbone, and it’s connected to so many health functions, including bowel and bladder control, supporting the pelvic organs, and contributing to optimum sexual health. And with respect to that last factor, there are specific ways to set yourself up for success—namely with pelvic floor workouts for better sex.

The pelvic floor can help enhance sexual function because it has direct connections to the clitoral hood and assists in closure around the vaginal opening (for vulva havers) as well as the anus (for those who have anal sex). “The pelvic floor muscles have been found to affect your orgasm: Stronger pelvic floor muscle contractions have been found to correlate with more intense and longer duration of an orgasm,” says pelvic-floor physical therapist Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, owner of Femina Physical Therapy in Los Angeles and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life. So by strengthening your pelvic floor, you are, in turn, setting yourself up to reap more of the well-being benefits of achieving orgasm.

“Stronger pelvic floor muscle contractions have been found to correlate with more intense and longer duration of an orgasm.” —Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, pelvic floor physical therapist

One of the most common and widely known pelvic floor workouts for better sex comes in the form of Kegels—aka flexing and releasing your pelvic-floor muscles. However, Dr. Jeffcoat says it’s a misnomer that Kegels are the be-all and end-all of pelvic floor workouts for better sex. That’s because the key to pelvic floor health is achieving a balance between flexibility and strength—and Kegels are primarily a strength-specific workout.

“Many folks think that Kegels are the answer to any problems with their pelvic health,” says Dr. Jeffcoat. “However, sometimes people need to take a step back from strengthening and focus on muscle relaxation and mobility.”

With that in mind, read on for three pelvic floor workouts for better sex, according to pros. But before you actually start your exercises, Dr. Jeffcoat suggests consulting a professional to help you develop a personalized plan. “You can find a local pelvic-floor physical therapist at the Academy of Pelvic Health Physical Therapy,” she says.

3 pelvic floor workouts for better sex that aren’t Kegels, from a pelvic floor physical therapist

1. Bridging from a chair or couch

“The glutes and adductors facilitate a pelvic floor contraction, and this exercise pulls in both muscle groups for added benefit,” says Dr. Jeffcoat.

How to do it: Lie on the ground, with your feet up on a chair or couch and your knees pressed together. Contract your pelvic floor muscles, pull your navel towards your spine, then exhale as you lift your hips up towards the ceiling. Inhale, return to the floor. Make sure you keep your knees pressed together. To assist, you can add a small pillow between your knees. Repeat this 15 to 20 times, three to four times per week.

2. Prone hip diamonds

According to Dr. Jeffcoat, “the glutes and hip external rotators facilitate a pelvic floor contraction, and this exercise pulls in both muscle groups for added benefit.”

How to do it: Lie on your stomach with your hips about 30 degrees away from your side, knees bent, and heels together, making a bent diamond shape with your legs. Contract your pelvic floor muscles, pull your navel towards your spine, then exhale as you lift your thighs up off of the floor. Inhale, and return to the floor. Repeat this 15 to 20 times, three to four times per week. For added intensity, you can pulse this exercise at the end for 10 to 15 more reps.

3. Modified plank with pelvic tuck

Dr. Jeffcoat says this exercise will work your deep abdominal muscles, which connect to and facilitate the moving of pelvic floor muscles. “You will also work your gluteal muscles in this exercise, further facilitating the pelvic floor muscle contraction,” adds Dr. Jeffcoat.

How to do it: Lie on your stomach, with your elbows under your shoulders. Lift your pelvis off the ground, keeping your knees down, and maintain your elbows under your shoulders. (If you are holding correctly, your torso should be parallel to the floor.) Take a breath in, then exhale and tuck your pelvis under to flatten your lower back. The rest of your body stays in the same position. Repeat three to four times per week.

Complete Article HERE!

Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy for Sexual Health

By

Pelvic floor physical therapy (PT) can be used to treat or help treat a number of sexual health problems. It is also commonly used to treat problems such as urinary or fecal incontinence, particularly when that incontinence occurs after childbirth or prostate surgery. Conditions for which pelvic floor PT can be helpful include:

All of these conditions have one thing in common—they are affected by the function of the pelvic floor.

What Is the Pelvic Floor?

The pelvic floor has several different functions. First, it supports the abdominal organs, such as the bladder, the intestines, and the internal genital organs (i.e. the uterus) inside the pelvis. Second, it resists against the pressure that builds up in the pelvis and abdomen during activities like coughing or lifting. Finally, it is the action of the pelvic floor that allows people to hold their urine and feces until they are ready to use the bathroom. The urethra and rectum pass through holes in the pelvic floor. It is relaxing the muscles of the pelvic floor that allows for urination and defecation. The normal tension in the muscles of the pelvic floor serve as a sphincter to otherwise hold these substances in.

The pelvic floor lies at the base of your pelvis. Often described as being shaped like a funnel or a bowl, it is made up of two muscle groups – the levator ani muscles and the coccygeus, The levatyor ani muscles are the pubococcygeus, the puborectalis, and the iliococcygeus. Each muscle that makes up the pelvic floor contributes to its function. Pelvic floor PT can be helpful if there are problems with one or more of these muscles, something called pelvic floor dysfunction.

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction

Pelvic floor dysfunction simply means that one or more of the muscles of the pelvic floor is not working correctly. This could mean that they are too tense, too loose, or that a person has trouble contracting and releasing them appropriately. It is also possible for the pelvic floor muscles to be damaged by childbirth, medical treatments, or certain types of surgery, such as as prostatectomy.

Pelvic floor dysfunction can be diagnosed through a combination of history taking, physical examination, MRI, and/or ultrasound. It is thought to affect up to a quarter of women in the United States1 . There is less data on prevalence in men. Pelvic floor dysfunction can be treated through a number of means including medication, surgery, and pelvic floor physical therapy. Pelvic floor PT is often a good first-line option, as it has far fewer risks and side effects than other options. That is particularly true for surgical options for pelvic floor repair, which have the potential to have significant sexual and other side effects.2

Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Sexual Health

Pelvic floor dysfunction can affect a number of areas of sexual health. These effects can be both direct and indirect. For example, a direct effect of pelvic floor dysfunction could be pain during intercourse. The potential direct sexual effects of pelvic floor dysfunction are numerous, as the pelvic floor muscles affect numerous aspects of sexual function. Muscle contraction plays a role in sexual arousal and orgasm, as well as in penile rigidity

An indirect effect could be stress urinary incontinence leading to a fear of sexual intimacy. Types of sexual health problems associated with pelvic floor dysfunction can also be categorized as either being caused by overactive or under-active muscles. In general, direct effects tend to be caused by too much muscle contraction in the pelvic floor, while indirect effects tend to be caused by too little.

Overactive Muscles

Overactive pelvic floor muscles can cause pelvic pain and pain with sexual activity. In men, this pain may be anywhere from the testicles, to the tip of the penis or the abdomen. In men, overactive pelvic floor muscles can also contribute to:

  • erectile problems
  • premature ejaculation
  • pain after ejaculation

In women, overactive muscles can contribute to:

  • itching or burning of the vulva (the outer portion of the genitalia)
  • pain in the clitoris
  • pain in the vagina

In all individuals, sexual dysfunction caused by overactive pelvic floor muscles may or may not be accompanied by pain.

Under-active Muscles

Under-active pelvic floor muscles increase the risk of conditions such as pelvic organ prolapse and urinary incontinence. Both urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse have been shown to have negative effects on individual’s sex lives. 3 Each condition can affect a person’s self image, and there may also be concerns about pain during sex (with prolapse) or odor (with urinary incontinence.)

It’s worth noting that some people have pelvic floor muscles that are simultaneously over- and under-active. This is a component of some types of pelvic pain syndrome.

Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy

Going for an initial consultation for pelvic floor PT can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you do not know what to expect. The specific experience of working with a pelvic floor physical therapist will depend on why you are seeking help. However, there are several experiences that will be common to most consultations with a pelvic floor PT.

  • History. You will be asked to talk about what brings you to pelvic floor physical therapy. If you come for a particular symptom, you may be asked about potentially related symptoms. As talking about pelvic floor symptoms involves talking about sexuality, urinating, and pooping, this can be very difficult for some people. It may help to write down a list of your concerns in advance. You may also be asked to fill out a questionnaire about pelvic floor symptoms and function. There are several assessment tools that providers use to assess the pelvic floor.
  • Exam. There may be both an external and an internal exam. The external exam may involve having the pelvic floor physical therapist press against different muscles or having you perform actions that might activate those muscles (like coughing.) It may also involve looking at range of motion in surrounding areas. An internal exam may involve the provider putting their fingers in your vagina and/or rectum in order to check the tension in the muscles that surround and support those tissues.
  • Intervention. Physical therapists use a number of different techniques when working on the pelvic floor.

Some common types of pelvic floor PT interventions include:

  • Education about relevant aspects of pelvic anatomy, function, and hygiene
  • exercises designed to teach patients how to contract and relax the muscles of the pelvic floor. “Kegels” are a form of pelvic floor exercise.
  • Breathing exercises to help people relax and improve the efficiency of other exercises
  • Manual therapy, which could include hands-on massage or stretching. For some conditions, manual therapy may involve a provider having fingers inside the vagina or rectum in order to access affected muscles.
  • Biofeedback, which often uses technology to show patients how they are activating their pelvic floor muscles. This could include the use of a probe that is placed in the vagina or muscles and connected to a computer. Images on the computer show the person how their movements are affecting their muscles. They can then use this to learn how to relax and contract specific muscles. Biofeedback can also be performed by a therapist giving verbal feedback about muscle contraction.
  • Electrical stimulation of muscle groups to teach people how to coordinate the movement of those muscles. Percutaneous tibial nerve stimulation is another electrical stimulation technique that uses an electrode placed near the ankle to stimulate the nerves of the bladder. There is also some evidence that it can improve sexual function.4
  • Use of vaginal dilators to help patients learn to relax the muscles of the pelvis. Vaginal dilators may also be used in other circumstances, such as after vaginoplasty or for the treatment of vaginal agenesis.

One of the most important things about any physical therapy is that for it to work, patients need to do the work. That’s why in person physical therapy can sometimes be a better option for patients than being given instructions and asked to do exercises at home. If a doctor or other provider asks you to do pelvic floor exercises, and you think you’re not going to manage on your own, you might benefit from a referral to see a physical therapist.

Does Pelvic Floor PT Work for Sexual Health?

In spring of 2020, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologist released a practice bulletin on pelvic pain, in which they discussed that a combination of pelvic floor physical therapy and sex therapy can be important for individuals experiencing pain during sex.5 This is because, for many people, pain during sex is a reflection of a combination of both neuromuscular and psychosocial factors. The sex therapy helps with the psychosocial factors. The pelvic floor PT helps with the neuromuscular ones.

Special Training for Pelvic Floor Physical Therapists

Pelvic floor PTs are doctoral-level providers. They then must undergo additional, more specialized training to learn how to work with pelvic floor conditions, particularly those that require internal exams or procedures. Some pelvic floor therapists go even further and pursue certification as a Pelvic Rehabilitation Practitioner (PRPC) or a Women’s Health Clinical Specialist (WCS) or to seek a Certificate of Achievement in Pelvic Physical Therapy (CAPP).

It may be helpful to seek out therapists who are either board certified in a pelvic specialty or who are currently pursuing such certification under supervision. Physical therapists and other professionals who are particularly interested in sexual health may also seek training or certification from a specialized organization like the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

Can People of All Sexes Benefit From Pelvic Floor PT?

Everyone has a pelvic floor. Thus anyone has the possibility of developing pelvic floor dysfunction. This is true no matter what your sex or gender. Depending on the particular pelvic floor PT clinic, therapists may see more individuals of one sex or another. However, issues like stress urinary incontinence are independent of sex. That said, specific risk factors are often sex-related. For example, two relatively common causes of incontinence are trauma from childbirth and prostate cancer surgery and radiation.

Transgender individuals can also benefit from pelvic floor physical therapy. Pelvic floor PT is often recommended for individuals considering a vaginoplasty, both before and after the procedure. Pelvic floor PT prior to surgery can identify and help with concerns related to pelvic floor dysfunction. After surgery, pelvic floor PT can help maintain pelvic floor health. It can also help women who have difficulty with the vaginal dilation that is required after vaginoplasty.6

A Word from Verywell

If you are experiencing sexual or other problems that could be related to pelvic floor dysfunction, talk to your doctor about whether it might make sense for you to explore pelvic floor PT. Pelvic floor PT can be a game-changer for some individuals who experience sexual difficulties such as pain or difficulty with penetration. It can also be a big help for those dealing with issues that can affect their sexual self image, like incontinence.

If you are trying to find a pelvic floor PT, it may take a little calling around. Check with your insurance to see what physical therapy providers are in-network, and then pick up the phone. You will want to ask not just whether or not the office provides pelvic floor PT but also things such as:

  • If any of their therapists are board-certified in pelvic floor PT
  • What, if any, specialized training providers have undergone
  • Whether they have experience treating your specific condition
  • Whether they have experience treating people of your gender

Because of the intimacy of the physical touch involved in pelvic floor PT, it is also reasonable to ask about the gender of potential providers—if that is important to you. Pelvic floor PT doesn’t involve sexual touch. However, for some individuals, clinical touch of sexualized areas of the body may be easier with either a same-gender or different-gender provider.

Complete Article HERE!

Why you need to prioritise your own orgasm

– and it’s not only because they feel amazing

Sadly, no one else will do it for you.

by

Can’t remember the last time you had an orgasm? For most women, they last just 10.9 seconds. And, while that may seem rather quick, orgasms can do more than just make you feel good in that short space of time. So you could be missing out on vital health benefits!

If you need help to prioritise your own orgasm, then trying one of the best vibrators could be for you. More than a quarter of British women claim they are “more likely” to orgasm if they use one, found sexual wellness brand Lovehoney.

So, why should you prioritise your own orgasm? Well, not only do the endorphins released during arousal help ease pain, but a study in Israel found that women who had two orgasms per week were 30% less likely to have heart disease. Plus, American research found that menopausal women who had an orgasm every week had oestrogen levels twice as high as those who didn’t, which is essential for protecting bones.

But, with the average woman taking 13 minutes and 25 seconds to climax, according to the Kadave Institute of Medical Sciences, many women don’t feel they have time to fit more sex or masturbation into their already busy lives. “Too many women are afraid to address this fundamental issue and enjoy the sex they deserve,” says Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert with Lovehoney.

This is why you need to prioritise your own orgasm. Ready? Here’s how to make sure you have an orgasm every time…

Learn to de-stress and prioritise your own orgasm

Pressures with work or family will directly affect when (or if) you reach climax. “The biggest psychological barrier to orgasm is stress – it’s essentially a sexual poison,” says Annabelle.

Timing is key, so choose a time to have sex or masturbate when you’re not rushing around. Plus, remember to breathe deeply throughout; it will help you block out distractions. A belter of an orgasm is achievable – you just need to relax.

Tightening your pelvic floor can help you orgasm

A weakened pelvic floor can cause a loss in sensation, yet a third of women are too embarrassed to bring the topic up with their GP, found a survey by wellness charity Jo’s Cervical Trust.

“Learning to control your pelvic floor can help you climax,” says Annabelle. Tone up by doing 100-200 pelvic floor contractions daily. Never done them before? Imagine you are stopping a fart, then a wee, then draw these two feelings in together.

Changing positions can help you prioritise your own orgasm

Is your sex life predictable? If it’s the same position every Tuesday after EastEnders, then, sadly, it is. Mixing things up could make accessing your G-spot easier. Need inspiration? Then have sex somewhere different, such as outside or in the shower.

“Trying new positions is important for increasing your orgasm potential, as is remembering that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm,” says Annabelle. “Some positions are better for this than others, such as missionary. Make sure that you and your partner move in a circular motion, rather than thrust, as this maximises stimulation.”

Faking an orgasm is a waste of time when it comes to your pleasure

Faking your orgasms because you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings? “It’s one of the most damaging things a person can do to their own sexual happiness,” warns Annabelle.

“If your partner’s doing something good in bed, tell them. If they’re not, remind them of a time you experienced pleasure and express a desire to repeat this. Reading erotic fiction together can help, as it includes scenarios you could both explore. This also removes sexual responsibility and eliminates any blame your partner might feel if you were to talk directly to them about something you don’t like.”

Eating right can help you prioritise your orgasm

Feeling hungry? Oysters, chocolate, peppers, eggs and spinach can improve your chances of reaching orgasm. “Aphrodisiacs create a sense of heightened sexual state – sometimes just thinking about an aphrodisiac may work as one,” says Annabelle.

“They can also work by producing chemicals linked to sexual desire and increase blood flow, meaning our genitals have access to a ready supply of blood, which makes them engorged and leads to sexual arousal.”

Knowing that you deserve an orgasm will help you have one

“Women have had a rough deal when it comes to sexual pleasure and many struggle with issues, such as shame,” says Annabelle. In fact, a survey by sex-toy brand Tenga found that only 14% of British females were taught about pleasure as part of their sexual education.

“At school, anything to do with sex is discussed with the view that it’s for procreation and nothing else,” says Annabelle. “This delivers a damaging message to women that their pleasure is not only unimportant, but also not to be expected.”

Why you should seek help if you struggle to orgasm

Feel your sex-to-orgasm ratio isn’t sufficiently balanced? Don’t be afraid to seek help from a professional. “A woman who doesn’t think she has had an orgasm should see her GP. She’s denying herself one of the greatest pleasures life has to offer,” says Annabelle.

Thankfully, there are simple changes that can solve the situation. “Certain medications and medical conditions can contribute to lack of orgasm,” says Annabelle. “Usually, though, it’s purely down to poor sexual technique and not enough lubrication, which can make foreplay and intercourse painful.”

Complete Article HERE!

Do You Need Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy?

by Vanessa Marin

You’ve probably never heard of pelvic floor physical therapy before, and that’s a shame: It’s an extremely helpful treatment option for a variety of difficult medical conditions. Your pelvic floor drapes across your pelvic area like a hammock, and supports the pelvic organs (the uterus, bladder, and rectum). It also assists with urinary and anal continence, and serves a role in core strength and orgasm. People of all genders have a pelvic floor.

To help me learn more about pelvic floor physical therapy, I spoke with Heather Jeffcoat, a physical therapist and the owner of Femina Physical Therapy in Los Angeles, and author of Sex Without Pain: A Self Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve. Here’s what you need to know about pelvic therapy and how it can help you.

How pelvic floor physical therapy works

A lot of things can weaken the pelvic floor, including pregnancy, childbirth, and aging, resulting in pelvic pain as well as bladder, bowel, and sexual dysfunctions.

The first step of pelvic floor physical therapy is gathering the client’s history, ascertaining their goals, and providing education about how the pelvic floor works. This is followed by a manual examination. From there, physical therapists use a combination of manual therapy, pelvic floor exercises, biofeedback, and/or vaginal dilators. Patients are seen for regular appointments, and are given exercises to complete at home.

 
You can find therapists by searching American Physical Therapy Association and the International Pelvic Pain Society. Many PTs, including Dr. Jeffcoat, also offer telemedicine appointments if you’d prefer to get started that way or you can’t find a PT in your area.

What pelvic floor physical therapy can treat

Pelvic floor PT can be effective at treating a wide array of conditions, including:

  • Painful sex
  • Pain with tampon insertion or OB/GYN examinations
  • Vulvar pain
  • Vulvar itching
  • Urinary urgency and frequency
  • Recurrent UTIs
  • Urinary incontinence
  • Bowel incontinence
  • Pelvic and/or lower abdominal pain

Dr. Jeffcoat says, “I like to tell physicians that if they have been searching for a cause of someone’s pain between their ribs and their hips/pelvis and they have been medically cleared, they should be referred to a skilled PFPT.”

Pelvic floor PT can also be used to prepare transgender patients for gender confirmation surgery, and to facilitate healing post-surgery.

Pelvic floor physical therapy and sexual pain

Recently, researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University found that 30% of women experienced pain during their last sexual encounter. Even though sexual pain is widespread, it often takes a very long time for a woman to get diagnosed with a sexual pain condition. I have heard horror stories from clients who were told by their doctors that their pain was “all in their head” or that they needed to “just have a glass of wine.” I’ve heard of doctors recommending a shot of alcohol or an anti-anxiety medication right before sex. Dr. Jeffcoat has heard the same stories, and says most traditional physicians are ill-equipped to deal with sexual pain even though the reality is that there’s almost always a physical cause.

If you try to talk to your doctor about your sexual pain and get met with an infuriating response like “just relax,” finding a pelvic floor physical therapist in your area could be a much better bet. A good PT will work with you to uncover the root of your pain and discomfort, and develop a targeted game plan for relief. I’ve worked with a lot of clients with sexual pain, and they’ve all sung the praises of pelvic floor PT.

Keeping your pelvic floor in shape

Even if you’ve never heard of pelvic floor physical therapy before, you’ve probably heard about the field’s most popular exercise: kegels. There has been an explosion of articles about kegels (also known as PC exercises) in the last few years, and there are also a ton kegel trainers on the market purporting to help you get your kegel muscles into tip-top shape. Kegel exercises can have great benefits, including stronger orgasms and greater urinary control. But Dr. Jeffcoat advises a bit of caution. She shared that about half of all women are doing kegels incorrectly, and around 25% are doing them in a way that could make their other symptoms worse. She’s not a fan of vaginal weights or trainers because, she says, they can worsen incorrect form.

Dr. Jeffcoat says that if you’re currently experiencing sexual pain, urinary urgency or frequency, bladder pain, urge incontinence, constipation, rectal pain or any pelvic pain, avoid kegels and check in with a PT first.

If you don’t have bowel or bladder symptoms, Dr. Jeffcoat recommends doing a mix of longer holds and shorter pulses. To find your PC muscles, cut off your flow of urine before your bladder is empty. The muscles that you have to use to do so are the ones you want to target. For the longer holds, gently squeeze your PC muscles for 3-5 seconds, then gradually release. For the shorter pulses, squeeze your PC muscles, then immediately release. If you want to ensure you’re doing kegels correctly, or want a customized game plan, definitely check in with a PT.

If you feel embarrassed about what’s involved in pelvic floor PT

Yes, your PT will be directly manipulating your muscles through the walls of your vagina or anus. But Dr. Jeffcoat assured me that a good pelvic floor physical therapist is passionate about their work, and about helping their clients feel comfortable. Pelvic floor issues are very common, and PTs want to help remove the stigma around getting help. Dr. Jeffcoat’s standard initial visit is 90 minutes, a good chunk of which is spent talking and helping you feel more comfortable. You also have the option to postpone the physical examination until a later session.

It may also help to think about the positive effects of pelvic floor physical therapy. I asked Dr. Jeffcoat about some of her favorite patient success stories, and she told me about seeing patients consummate their marriages for the first time ever. One case was after 19 years of marriage. She also wrote, “I’ve had so many women that are able to get pregnant without fertility treatments because they can have pain-free sex. I’ve seen women gain a new sense of empowerment by reaching a goal they truly never thought would never happen.” There can also be something incredibly validating about knowing that the pain isn’t “in your head.” The bottom line: pelvic floor physical therapy can be life-changing.

Complete Article HERE!

Rev up your libido to the *most* satisfying heights

By Jessica Estrada

Since everyone is different, there’s obviously no norm for sex-drive intensity. What is normal, however, is for your libido to fluctuate, says Emily Morse, sex expert and host of the Sex With Emily podcast. So, if you’re currently going through a dry spell of your own making, there’s no need to be alarmed—it happens!

Still, the sich can be über-frustrating, especially if your partner is ready to go at all times despite knocking boots being the last thing on your mind. To help you get your mojo back, here, Morse shares seven ways to seriously rev up your libido.

1. Seek a professional opinion (seriously)

As a first point of entry, Morse suggests checking in with your doctor because a low libido can be a symptom or a side effect of a number of different medical conditions: unbalanced hormone levels, medications you’re taking, depression, anxiety, thyroid imbalances, or arthritis. So, to be safe, go see your MD for a chat and potentially some tests.

2. Reconnect with your body

If your health checks out, the issue is may skew more psychological. “Women get aroused through thoughts,” Morse says. “If your brain is not onboard for sex, then your body is not going to follow.”

One solution? Get down with yourself (yes, that means masturbating). Doing so will help you reconnect with your body again, and it will help keep sex at top of mind. Think of it like exercise—or any other healthy habit for that matter: the more you get your sweat on, the more and more your body starts to crave it.

3. Give your relationship with sex a tough audit

A stagnant sex drive might not actually have to do with your libido at all: It could be about your relationship with your significant other. If you’re constantly fighting, or you’re growing apart for one reason or another, of course it’ll affect what’s happening (or not happening, in this case) between the sheets.

“Whatever challenges you’re having with your partner outside the bedroom are going to absolutely impact your relationship when you’re inside of the bedroom,” Morse says. She recommends taking an honest look at your relationship and focusing on fixing the non-sex-related  issues. It’s totally possible these resolutions could reignite that bedroom fire.

4. Stop being samey in the bedroom

Your libido might have taken a nosedive simply because you’re bored of the type of sex you’ve been having. Hey, you might even get sick of avocado toast (which has itself been tied to a revved up sex drive, BTW) if you have it every. single. day. So, consider changing things up a bit. “Variety is the spice of your sex life,” Morse says. “It’s the novelty and the newness that enhances intimacy and will make you want to connect.”

So try out new positions. Buy some toys. Do the deed in a surprising location. Do whatever you have to do to make things fun and interesting again. 

5. Implement a healthy lifestyle

If you’re not feeling so hot, of course you’re not going to be in the mood for love making, Morse says. That’s exactly why implementing healthy habits that make you feel sexy inside and out are an important part of maintaining a fired-up sexual appetite. Consider incorporating some libido-boosting foods into your diet, like avocado and honey and penciling in workouts that will help supercharge your love life.

6. Do your kegels

Not only do kegel exercises strengthen your pelvic floor muscles (which can translate to better orgasms—score!), they also force you to connect with yourself and your lady parts. And again, the more you think sexy thoughts, the more and more you’ll want to get it on.

And since kegels are so easy to do inconspicuously (doing mine now at my work desk!), it’s hard to find a reason not to abide by Morse’s prescribed two-a-day regimen. Just squeeze the muscles in your nether region, as if you’re trying to hold your pee, for five seconds. Then release and repeat for an effect of having things tightened up down there. Wondering how you’re possibly going to remember to do your kegels twice a day? Don’t worry. There’s an app for that.

7. Engage your senses

Another way to help you get your groove back is to entice your five senses, because when you do this, “you’re no longer in your head and automatically you feel very in touch with your body,” Morse says. So the next time you plan on getting lucky, create a full-on sensory experience.

Set the scene. Put some jasmine essential oil in your aromatherapy diffuser. Play some Marvin Gaye. Bust out the coconut whipped cream. Yes, it sounds totally cliché, but what do you have to lose other than another sexless night? 

Complete Article HERE!

Reasons Guys Should Do Kegels

(Including Better Sex for Both of You)

By Jenna Birch

[I]f a woman visits her ob-gyn because of urinary problems or a sexual issue relating to arousal or orgasm, her doctor might advise her to start a regimen of kegel exercises. These moves strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can lose tone due to age or pregnancy. Stronger pelvic floor muscles lead to better bladder control and more sensation during sex.

But it isn’t just women who can benefit from doing kegels; men can gain advantages as well. “Both men and women have these muscles,” says James Dupree, MD, an assistant professor of urology at Michigan Medicine. “A kegel exercise is the name given to any exercise strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. For guys, those are the muscles supporting organs like the penis, prostate, and rectum.”

Curious as to how they can help your partner—especially the way they can have an impact on your sex life? Here’s what you need to know.

Kegels can help him stay harder during sex

Kegel exercises strengthen the shelf of muscle supporting the penis. Stronger muscles in this area can mean improved blood flow when your partner gets an erection—similar to the way working out any muscle gives circulation to nearby organs a boost. The result: stronger erections. While it’s normal for a guy to occasionally experience erection issues, if he has regular trouble getting and staying hard, it can have an impact on your sex life, says Dr. Dupree.

They can prevent premature ejaculation

These small-but-powerful moves can also give men more control over ejaculation, helping the pelvic floor muscles lengthen and contract appropriately. That helps him last longer in the bedroom. Dr. Dupree points to a small 2014 study, which showed that pelvic floor strengthening helped 82% of study participants (age 19 to 46) improve their premature ejaculation issues.

Kegels boost bladder and bowel control

For men, kegel exercises can also help improve bowel control (jokes asides, it’s not the kind of leakage anyone wants to deal with). They can also make it less likely he’ll experience stress incontinence, or accidentally dribble a little urine while pumping iron at the gym or on a run, for example. Strengthening those muscles is especially useful if, for instance, your guy “laughs, sneezes or lifts a heavy box” and he’s leaking a little pee in the process, says Dr. Dupree.

How can guy do kegels?

Pretty much the same way women do them. First, he has to find those pelvic floor muscles. “When a man is standing to urinate, those are the muscles he’d use to abruptly stop mid-stream,” says Dr. Dupree. “On a separate note, you can think of tightening the muscles you’d use to hold in gas.”

Once he’s identified the right muscle group, Dr. Dupree advises that he “hold for three seconds, relax for three seconds.” Do this 10 times in a row, twice a day. “You can do them anywhere, really,” he says. “Sitting at a desk, in the bathroom. It should only take a few minutes.”

Before he starts, a word of caution

Prior to your partner embarking on a kegel exercise routine, Dr. Dupree says he should first talk to his doctor about any potential underlying medical problems that might be behind his symptoms. For instance, it’s normal to have drip a tiny bit of pee after emptying the bladder; it’s not normal to be leaking urine between trips to the restroom. “For urinary issues, we’d want to check for UTIs or neurologic problems,” he explains.

If you’re dealing with problems in the bedroom, your guy should also bring that up with his physician before jumping right into kegels. “For erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, it’s an issue that can be an early sign of what could eventually become heart disease, so we’d want to check out things like cholesterol,” Dr. Dupree says.

Complete Article HERE!

How to Do Kegels Without Getting a Bulky, Manly Vagina

By:

How to Do Kegels Without Getting a Bulky, Manly Vagina

Unless you’re living under an unfuckable rock, you’ve obviously heard of your Kegels. You might even already be doing them a few times a week in the hopes of toning your pelvic floor, keeping your bladder in check, or turning your otter pocket into a delicate vise that firmly grips anything that dares to lovingly enter it. If you aren’t yet doing Kegels, it might be because you have the same fear that many women do before starting an exercise regimen: Will it make me look mannish? While some doctors might dismiss your deeply held concern as “ridiculous” or even “what are you talking about”, experts confirm that improperly-done Kegels can make your muscles become bulky, beefcake-y, and super manly. No thanks! Here are the best ways to use kegels to keep your snatch sexy, slim, and ultra-feminine:

1. Use the right pussy weight.
They look like hella fancy jade tampons and you can find them pretty much anywhere: Amazon, Craigslist, Goodwill. No matter your budget or sanitation standards, you can find something weighted and sphericonical to shove into the ol’ love canal. Just be sure that no matter what you do, you get the pink, purple, or glittery ones. The last thing you need is to end up with a pelvic floor that purposely wipes wing sauce on your shirt during football games all because you popped some navy blue or slate-gray eggs into your lady hole. Yikes!

2. Don’t add liquid calories with sugary lube.
When you insert your weights, be sure to use a low carb, high-protein lube. If you can afford to splurge on the gluten-free variety, even better. Choosing a lubricant that has too much sugar and fat is just gonna pack on the pussy pounds and before you know it your once-demure munchbox will be shopping for Gold’s Gym posing tank tops and challenging strangers to arm-wrestling matches on the street.

3. Low weight + High reps = Tight, feminine poon.
For a lean vagina, high reps with a low weight is key. Aim for five sets of 1,000 reps; 50–75 times a week. You can literally do them from the time you wake up until the time you pass out from exhaustion and loneliness, as long as you’re using something that weighs less than a dwarf hamster. If you go for low reps and a higher weight, say, something in the guinea pig range, you run the serious risk of developing a rippling, meaty eight-pack of a punani; the kind that rips off its TapOut shirt in public while screaming, “YOU WANNA GO THEN?!? LET’S GO!! COME AT ME, BRO!!”

4. Remember to breathe, but not too hard.
You might have heard that slow, even, deep breaths are best while Kegeling. This is a really common misconception; one that will lead you down the road of an aggressively full-bodied and overly aggressive vagina. You want to keep your breaths airy, shallow, and helpless-sounding. Restricting the flow of oxygen to your pelvic walls will help them stay sexy, trim, and delicately taut. Remember: This exercise is for you and also him!

5. Do it right, do it tight.
Nothing is more important than proper form. You NEVER want to perform Kegels in street clothes, old gym shorts, or comfy sweatpants. If you don’t have access to a full line of Lululemon apparel, lacy Victoria Secret underwear will do. Another option is to squeeze out your reps while completely nude and covered in rose petals that have been misted with vanilla oil. Again, that’s optional, but remember: Your pussy shouldn’t look like it’s killed a man with its bare hands before!

Now that you’ve got the basics down, it’s time to get to work—just don’t work too hard or you could get a bodybuilder of a salami-hider! Remember, if you feel the burn, you’re doing wayyy too much! Or you should call your doc; could be the clap. Happy sweating!

Complete Article HERE!