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The Sessions

Sex Fans, I have some marvelous news!

My good friend and colleague, Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene, is a sex therapist and surrogate partner therapist. On October 26, 2012, Fox Searchlight Pictures will release a movie, The Sessions.  It’s the poignant story of her work with one of her famous clients, journalist and poet Mark O’Brien.  The movie is finally being released to the general public after a round of critically acclaimed premieres at film festivals all over the world.

Helen Hunt plays Cheryl in the movie. The cast also includes John Hawkes and William H. Macy.

Click HERE to listen to Part 1 of my interview with Cheryl for my SEX WISDOM show.

Cheryl and I have another connection too. If you’ve spent any time with my new book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying; Enhancing the End of Life, you will probably remember Cheryl from Chapter 6.  She did the presentation on sex and intimacy concerns.

I am so proud of Cheryl, the work she does, and the recognition she is finally receiving for her groundbreaking work with sick, disabled, elder, and dying people.

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Hey, Keep It Clean!

Hey sex fans,

It’s time for another Product Review Friday. And this week we review a great toy for all you ass fuck bottoms out there.

Before we get to the review, however, I have a few editorial comments. I hear from dozens of people every month with the same issue. They tell me they’d really like to experiment with anal sex, but they are concerned about the potential messiness.

Douching is the answer, of course. I’ve said over and over; keeping it clean where the sun don’t shine is a relatively easy thing to accomplish. Warm water is all you need. Never use soap internally. Some people add lemon juice or vinegar (1-2 Tbs. per quart) of the warm water. Others dissolve (2 Tbs.) of baking soda in a quart of warm water.

I always tell my correspondents to stay away from commercially produced douches; most contain harmful and irritating chemicals. And trust me, you don’t want that. Besides, all those over the counter douches are expensive. And all that packaging is definitely not eco-friendly. And we all want to be green perverts, don’t we?

Today’s product brings something new and affordable to personal anal hygiene market. And it comes from one of our favorite manufacturers, our good friends at Perfect Fit Brand.

You didn’t miss the earlier Perfect Fit Brand review, did you? The Fat Boy Cock Extender is probably the most popular review we’ve done this year. And you can find it and all our reviews archived on my review site, Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews.

Now let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad, for his review.

Ergo Speed Douche —— $21.93

Brad

Those who follow my reviews know that I’m a straight guy who really gets off on ass play. I make a point of saying I’m straight, because so many people assume if a guy is into his butt hole, he’s gotta be gay. Nonsense! The days of making that uninformed leap are over. More and more straight guys are discovering their prostate and living to tell the story.

I’m also a personal trainer and it just blows me away how much my clients, both women and men, confide in me about their sex life. When this first began to happen I was like; “Whoa, TMI, for chrissake!” But then I got used to it. I guess personal training is the new confessional.

Anyhow, the reason I bring this up is one of the things I hear most, from both women and men, is; “I want to try anal.” Every one of my clients is astonished to learn that I love being the bottom in ass play. Guys are like; “But dude, you’re straight.” And gals are all like; “Damn, I always pictured you as a top.” Whatever! So many preconceived ideas about sex and sex roles, what’s up with that?

The problem most people have with butt sex is the personal hygiene part. All the butt pirate wannabes imagine this is an unpleasant task mostly because they don’t know shit, pardon the pun, about keeping themselves clean down there.

That’s why I am so glad that I got the Ergo Speed Douche to review. I now have a great product to turn my clients on to when we have this discussion.

The Ergo Speed Douche is about as simple and straightforward a design as possible. It’s a bulb and a nozzle! But don’t let the simplicity fool you; a lot of thought went into creating this essential tool for us bottoms.

I confess I’ve blown through a half dozen other bulb-type douches in my time. So I can say with confidence that not all these puppies are created equal. First, most bulbs are too small. Their limited capacity means you have to load it more than once. Not good! The Ergo Speed Douche holds a generous 11 ounces and is made of medical grade PVC, so you get a LONG steady blast.

Another really annoying problem is all the other bulb-type douches I’ve tried push water IN when you squeeze, just like they ought to. But then they suck it back OUT when you let go of the bulb. This creates the dreaded backflow. You want to void the douche into the toilet or down the shower drain, not back into the bulb. Get it? The Ergo Speed Douche eliminates this problem with its unique one-way air valve on the bottom of the bulb. This prevents the backflow of water into the bulb.

Another common problem with lesser bulb-type douches is the nozzle-to-bulb connection. If that is flimsy or poorly designed it can pop off mid cleaning. Again, not good! No such problem with the Ergo Speed Douche though. This thing is built to last. The nozzle screws into the bulb nice and tight, as it ought to and it stays connected.

The Ergo Speed Douche has a bendable 6” nozzle. It is made of phthalate-free TPR (thermal Plastic Rubber). Being flexible is important, because it makes it more comfortable to use. But care has to be taken that you don’t bend the nozzle so much that it crimps. There is a bit of a learning curve with all anal hygiene products, so don’t get frustrated if, at first, you find this a bit awkward. Once you get the hang of it, it’ll be as easy as falling off a log.

Remember, it’s all about the flow. The Ergo Speed Douche nozzle tip has four holes that diffuse the stream giving you the most out of each squeeze. This douche does more than simply fill your hole with water; the four-way spray will actually gives you a rinse too.

It’s essential that you keep your Ergo Speed Douche clean. Remember where it’s been! Warm soapy water is fine for quick cleanups. But you’ll want to sanitize it from time to time too. This is easily done with a 10% bleach solution. Detach that nozzle from the bulb and immerse both parts. Be sure to flush the bleach solution from both parts before your next use. Easy peasy!
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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SEX WISDOM With Shannon Chavez — Podcast #348 — 10/03/12

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

I have another fantastic SEX WISDOM show for you today. I am delighted to welcome a new friend and colleague, Dr Shannon Chavez.

Shannon is a clinical psychologist and sexologist with a certification in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders. She is one of the co-founders of the revolutionary SHE (Sexual Health Experts) Clinic in Arizona. Theirs is a comprehensive interdisciplinary treatment approach to female sexual health needs. And I can promise you a wide-ranging and fascinating discussion about their unique outreach to women. This is very cutting-edge stuff, sex fans!

Shannon and I discuss:

  • The SHE website;
  • Their commitment to help women achieve and restore their sexual health;
  • Their outreach — to, by, and for women;
  • Balancing the medical model and the pleasure model;
  • Becoming Dr Chavez;
  • Her colleagues;
  • The feedback she gets from patients and clients;
  • The reception SHE is getting from professional peers.

 

Shannon invites you to visit her on the SHE site HERE! You can also find her on Facebook HERE! And she’s on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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I Dream of Jeannie

Name: Brett
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Location: Michigan
My wife gets excited when I talk about my fantasy of her having sex with another woman. She will orgasm every time I bring it up while we’re having sex. When I bring it up in general conversation she says she’s not interested. She also has a female co-worker who flirts with her frequently, but my wife says she’s just goofing around. My wife did admit to me though that at one time about 15 years ago she thought about having a relationship with a female friend. Do you think my wife could be bi-sexual and maybe desiring a woman privately?

OMG, you’re such a guy, Brett. You got a real hardon goin’ for this potential girl-on-girl thing, huh?

There’s one concept that you need to get a handle on right away. Fantasy material, in your case your sex chatter about your wife doin’ another chick while humpin’ the misses, rarely translates well to the real world. That’s the beauty part of fantasy, don’t cha know. We can let ourselves enjoy the most outrageous, vulgar, lewd, disgraceful, shameful and unconscionable scenarios without actually having to mess with them in real life. And god knows that could get real messy. So I encourage you not to read too much into your wife’s lezzie fantasy, or ever expect that someday you might get her to change her mind if only you keep harping on it. Here’s a tip: persistent pestering about something like this will surely backfire.

That’s not to say that lots of people, maybe even your wife, on occasion won’t use fantasy to rehearse a sexual situation that they might one day want to live out for real. Lots of people do! But if you’ve asked your wife about this and she shows no interest in making the fantasy a reality; then why don’t ya just drop it already.

And the fact that your wife may have had a fleeting interest in another woman 15 years ago don’t mean nothin, darlin’. It sure as hell doesn’t suggest to me that she might be a closet bisexual. It does however confirm that you’re a guy with a typical guy jones. You’re itchin’ to get the little woman to munch some muff by hook or by crook with the hope she will let you watch. That, my friend, is gonna get you in a whole lot of trouble if you’re not careful.

Good luck

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First Week of Autumn 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #347 — 09/24/12

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

It’s time for another Q&A show. This time around, I have a really great bunch of correspondents who share their sex and relationship concerns with us. And I go out of my way to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • Joy is unhappy because her BF is into the meth and now their sex life is in the toilet.
  • AH said something really terrible to his GF while he was drunk, now he’s paying the price.
  • Then I riff on a handful of effective communication techniques.
  • Reba says her 6-year-old son is a nancy-boy. I put her straight and tell her to visit this site.
  • Jackson got himself a dose of the clap, and now he has to tell all his lady friends.
  • Tammy wants some help with greening her sex life.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing, Baby!

Hey sex fans,

It’s Product Review Friday and we have a brand spankin’ new product designed to titillate your lady parts. Hurrah! And here to tell us all about it is Dr Dick Review Crew members, Joy & Dixie.

Sqweel 2 —— $62.70

Joy: “What we have here is the Sqweel 2, which is the second incarnation of this product made by LoveHoney. Dixie and I actually shelled out our hard-earned cash to purchase one for ourselves.”
Dixie: “Yeah, one of our girlfriends said she had one and loved it. The Sqweel 2 is supposed to simulate oral sex for a woman. Got me to thinkin’; the person who designed this thing couldn’t have been a woman, or if it was, no one ever ate out her pussy properly.”
Joy: “Damn straight! Pardon the pun. Dr Dick keeps referring to me as his Go-To Gal for all things pussy related. Apparently the good Dr doesn’t have a pussy of his own. Pity! But I digress. Any woman who’s received some excellent head will know in a matter of seconds that the Sqweel 2 is not the moral equivalent of excellent muff diving.”
Dixie: “All I could do when I tried the Sqweel 2 is think of that 1968 hit single by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell — Ain’t Nothin’ Like The Real Thing, Baby!”
Joy: “That’s funny. Don’t get us wrong, the Sqweel 2 isn’t a bad product, by any means. It offers some very interesting sensations and they are a nice change from the buzz of a vibrator. My quarrel is with them saying it simulates oral sex. Eating out at the Y is way more complex than a repetitive lapping motion, get it? And imagine of some clueless straight guy saw this thing. What kind of message would he be getting about cunnilinsus?”
Dixie: “The Sqweel 2 looks like it’s gonna be way more fun than it actually is. It’s more of a tease. The working part of this thing is a wheel of “tongues” made of silicone. You absolutely will need to use some lube with this, because the tongues will drag without. And since the tongues are silicone, you’ll need a water-based lube. A silicone-based lube will degrade the beautiful finish of the wheel of tongues. It’s powered by three AAA batteries, which are not included in the package.”
Joy: “The Sqweel 2 can be applied to your clitoris, nipples, or any other external area of the body. But unless you are one of those women who gets off with a feather touch, the Sqweel 2, as Dixie mentioned, will only tease.”
Dixie: “I’ll admit, my clit has been around the block a time or six; I need my clit toys to take charge down there. This one was maddening. Applying even the slightest pressure stops the wheel completely. DISAPPOINTED!”
Joy: “There are two main controls to the Sqweel 2: an on/off/speed control button and a direction button. There are three speeds. Pressing the direction button will reverse the direction of the tongues. And pressing it again will make the tongues go back and forth. Be sure to use the locking switch above the main controls to lock the plastic cover over the tongues so it doesn’t pop off, which allows the wheel to fall off. This happened to me. I was not amused.”
Dixie: “You grip the Sqweel 2 on its bottom and you point the tongues toward your clit or wherever else you might want the stimulation. However, it is much easier to use on someone else than it is to use on yourself.”
Joy: “To clean, you remove the wheel, which is very simple to do. Clean the tongues in warm soapy water and let it air dry. You also have to clean the outside and inside of the housing. Unfortunately, the Sqweel 2 isn’t waterproof, so you can’t submerge it, which would be the optimum solution to the chore of cleaning up.”
Dixie: “Neither one of us can honestly recommend the Sqweel 2. To give the manufacturer its due, it’s a clever idea. It is just not executed very well.”
Full Review HERE!
ENJOY!

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The Kay Jaybee Connection

I have this great opportunity to cross-post the following which I published earlier today on my other site: The Amateur’s Guide.

Interest in The Amateur’s Guide To Death and Dying is coming in from all corners. Even from what would appear, at first glance, as unlikely sources of interest. Take for example my good friend, Kay Jaybee. She is an award-winning author of sizzlin’ erotica who lives in the UK. She and I have know each other since September 2008 when, together, we inagurated The Erotic Mind podcast series over at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice.

Kay and I don’t often get a chance to connect, our schedules and the eight-hour time difference between us often prohibits that. But when we do chat it’s like old home week. Some weeks ago we visited with one another on Skype. I was telling her about the difficulties I was facing trying to get the word out about The Amateur’s Guide. Being an author herself she understood.

Kay asked me if I would be interested in writing a guest post for her site. I jumped for the opportunity.

Of special interest to Kay’s audience, and also my favorite, is Chapter 6 of my book, titled, Don’t Stop.  I collaborated with my dear friend, the internationally known sex educator and therapist, Dr. Cheryl Cohen Greene on this chapter about sexuality and intimacy.

We begin by posing 5 simple questions to help our readers focus their attention on their sexuality and intimacy needs.

1. How important is sexuality in your life?

2. Is there’s a difference between sexuality and intimacy?

3. Do you have a range of options in which to experience your sexuality?  If yes, what are some of them?

4. How well are you able to communicate your needs for sex and/or intimacy to your partner(s)?  Are there any specific issues that get in the way of asking for what you need?

5. What are your biggest concerns about your sexuality as it relates to your disease, aging and/or dying process?

Cheryl sums up the reason for incorporating this chapter in the book.

“Sexuality and intimacy are important topics for us to consider, because there is so little information out there about these things for elders and those of us who have life-threatening conditions.  The assumption, I suppose, is that sick, aging and dying people don’t have sexual and intimacy concerns, so why even bring it up?

That ridiculous assumption is so prevalent, even among healing and helping professions, that I’m forever having to confront it with, ‘Hey, we’re not dead yet.’”

Kay published my guest posting this morning.

I invite you to take a look at the full post.  I think you will agree things have got to change.

Click on Kay’s banner below to see the posting.

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Starting Over

Name: LD
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Location: Atlanta
How do you jump back into the game when your partner passed away suddenly? Getting really horny but its still awkward to actually do it.

Good question, LD. You say you’re feeling awkward. Why exactly? Is it because you’re out of practice with the whole dating thing? Are you concerned that people might think you’re jumping the gun, trying to get back into the game before your partner is cold in the grave? People can be pretty heartless about this. Or, is your awkwardness associated with your grief?

Grief has a profound effect on every aspect of our lives. Yet there is hardly any literature on the effects grief has on our sexuality. To my mind, grief is the leading causes of sexual dysfunction for those who have experienced the death of a partner.

Allow me a bit of time here for one of my pet spiels. Healing and helping professionals often misdiagnose grief. I want to make one thing clear, grief is not depression. Treating grief with an antidepressant is counterproductive. It can actually take away the impetus to resolve the grief and get on the rest of one’s life.

Making sure that you have processed your grief may eliminate some of your awkwardness you are currently experiencing. This is something I’m pretty familiar with. A good portion of my private practice is with sick, elder and dying people and their friends and family who survive them. I know the impact a terminal illness and dying process can have on the surviving spouse or partner. We often go into survival mode, shutting down so much of ourselves in an effort to have the strength to cope with this life-altering experience. Of course, trying to kick-start our life afterwards is often a monumental effort. Without the support and guidance of a professional or a group of similarly challenged people, some of us just sink to the lowest common denominator.

I believe in the resilience of the human spirit. I believe that we can honor our dead and continue to live and love. It sounds to me like you have a desire to get on with your life, LD, to fill the void, to make new connections, but you simply don’t know how. Acknowledging that fact is a real good place to begin.

Perhaps you could start by reawakening your sexuality through self-pleasuring. Reconnect with your body and the joy it can bring you. Reestablishing a social life will no doubt follow, slowly at first. But the inevitable tug of the need for human-to-human contact will draw you, if you let it. Remember the best testament to those who have died is to continue to celebrate life itself.

Allow me to draw your attention to my latest book, The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying; Enhancing The End Of Life. Actually it’s more of a workbook then a text and while its primarily target are those currently facing their mortality it’s not exclusively for them. Concerned family and friends, healing and helping professionals, lawyers, clergy, teachers, students, and those grieving a death will all benefit from participating in the interactive environment the book provides.

Of special interest to you will be Chapter 6, Don’t Stop. My good friend and colleague, Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene, joins me in presenting this chapter on sex and intimacy concerns. Like I said above, there is a dearth of information about this timely topic for sick, elder and dying people as well as those who are grieving. So I am delighted that my book helps break this deafening silence.

I hope you take the time to write back, LD. I’d very much like to keep tabs on how you are doing.

Good luck

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More SEX WISDOM With Darrel Ray — Podcast #346 — 09/12/12

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans!

Today I welcome back, Dr. Darrel Ray, therapist, educator, lecturer and author of The God Virus and Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality to this SEX WISDOM show. And I’m so glad he has more time to spend with us, because Part 1 of our conversation, which appeared here last week, was a real revelation, no pun intended.

Darrel and I discuss:

  • The religious mythology of sex;
  • The guilt cycle;
  • Sexual maps;
  • The shift from theology to biology;
  • How sexuality once was a means of encountering the divine;
  • Cultural anthropology;
  • Making god in our image;
  • The people who inspire him and his sexual heroes.

Darrel invite you to visit his site HERE! You can also find him on Facebook HERE! And he’s on Twitter HERE!

 

(Click on the book art below to learn more about Darrel’s books.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Dribble instead of shoot

Name: Jon
Gender: Male
Age: 65
Location: Surrey, B,C, Canada
Dear Dr Dick, I’m on Avodart because of my high PSA reading, as a result my sperm count is now down to zero. I understand it’s the drug’s side effect, is this reversible? I haven’t totally lost interest in sex and still jerk off from time to time. I realize that I need to make adjustments (e.g. becoming a total bottom) and find other body contact pleasures. I’m an attractive Asian and still get lots of attention in Vancouver’s baths. Another recurring menopausal problem I have are hot flashes when sleeping, how long do I put up with it? Love your website! Is Richard Wagner your real name?
Yours, Jon

Thanks for your kind words, Jon. Yes, Richard Wagner is my real name.

To understand your question about the side effects of Avodart; I need to ask you a question. Are you sure you are talking about sperm count? Avodart is a prostate directed medication for men with a high PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) reading. It has nothing to do with your testicles, which produce your sperm. And how would you know about your sperm count in the first place?

I think you may be speaking about the diminished amount of spooge (ejaculate) you produce while on the drug. That would make much more sense than a depleted sperm count. Because your prostate is responsible, in large part, for the amount of jizz you produce. And since the drug shrinks your prostate, it’s completely understandable that less cum would be an unfortunate side effect of the drug. Is it reversible? I suppose if you stopped taking the drug your prostate might regain its previous vigor, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. Your age may have a lot to do with this too, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

You probably are also experiencing erection problems on this drug too, right? Some of that is age related, of course. But one of the more unpleasant side effects of this, or any other medication that targets one’s prostate, is the loss of libido and wood. A nice cockring might be helpful. Have you tried one of those little buggers? They also look real nice in the bathhouse, don’t cha know.

You also ask about another recurring menopausal problem — hot flashes. Allow me to help you with some of your vocabulary. Menopause is a female thing. Andropause is the male equivalent. Like menopause, andropause is a result of a decrease in hormone levels, testosterone and androgen in our case, as we age.

Yeah, hot flashes are sure enough a good sign that one is in the throws of andropause. They often disappear on their own. But some people advocate hormone replacement therapy for us older dudes. This is very controversial, however. Many in the medical industry believe the hormone replacement, particularly testosterone, increases the risk of prostate cancer. Personally, I don’t believe this is true. I am unaware of any studies that actually make that correlation. On the other hand, living with diminished hormone levels clearly has some very unpleasant side effects, like the ones you are experiencing.

In the final analysis, each of us needs to make up his own mind about this, weighing all the pros and cons.

Good luck

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You make me want to shout!

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we feature the second of the two products sent to us by that sizzlin’ hot company, Spare Parts Hardware.

But wait, you didn’t miss the first of our reviews, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it all our previous reviews archived on my Product Review site, Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews. You’ll find our first Spare Parts Hardware review HERE:

Today we welcome back Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos. We’ve missed you sir and we’re so glad you’re back with us.

Deuce Male Harness – $139.99

Carlos

Thanks, Dr Dick, it’s good to be back.

Those of you who follow my reviews may recall that way back in October 2007, when I participated in my first review; I mentioned I was having some prostate problems. I’ve been calling attention to that issue ever since. Well, earlier this year, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and soon there after I went under the knife. I had a radical prostatectomy, which removed my prostate gland as well as and some of the surrounding tissue.

Like my Dr Dick Review Crew colleague, Angie, who was diagnosed with lymphoma over a year ago, I’ve been struggling to regain a sense of my sexual-self post surgery. No one; not my doctors, not my nurses, not anyone in the cancer support group I attend ever talks about sex and sexuality post diagnosis and treatment. It’s criminal really.

The surgery impacted every aspect of my sex life — with my myself, with my wife and the periodic connections I used to have with some of my men friends. Thank god I’ve been able to count on Dr Dick to help me through this, because if I had to do this alone I don’t see how I would have made it.

I want to repeat something Angie said. “There is precious little information about sex and sexuality available to cancer survivors. No one seemed to be capable of speaking clearly and unambiguously about how a cancer diagnosis and treatment impacts a person’s intimate life. This conspiracy of silence has got to stop!”

Since the surgery I haven’t had a full erection. Dr Dick tells me that I may regain that capacity with time. I also no longer have an ejaculation. That Dr Dick tells me is gone for good. That really bums me out, but I can still have an orgasm, so I’m really happy for that. Dr Dick gave me some exercises to help me with the arousal phase of my sexual response cycle, mostly it masturbation sorts of things. He also suggested that rather than going without partnered sex, I could try a strap on. Hell, I didn’t even know there were strap ons for men. As you can see, I had a lot to learn.

And this is what gets me to the fantastic Deuce Male Harness that I want to tell you about today. It looks and wears just like a jockstrap. It’s completely adjustable so it always fits perfectly. It’s made of a very sensual fabric. And it’s completely machine washable. Oh, and did I mention it is smokin’ hot? It really bolsters my sexual self-confidence. And that’s about the best therapy there is.

Ok, so let’s take a closer look at the Deuce starting with the fabric. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s soft, silky and body hugging. It’s a nylon and spandex blend, which makes it stretchy and durable. If you’re trying to picture it in your mind’s eye think a quality swimsuit material. All the adjustment sliders are made of a durable hard plastic.

The front panel is super functional. The pouch, just like a jock, cradles your own equipment. If you’re gonna just use a dildo or dong with the Deuce. There is a built-in O-ring to stabilize your dong of choice. But here’s the BIG plus; there is an opening below the O-ring that allows you to slip you’re your cock through so that you can use your own johnson along with the dildo. This is ideal for double penetration; or if you simply want to experiment with a bigger dildo than your own cock; or if you want to keep pleasuring your partner after you shoot your load. Ya see, there are lots of reasons a guy might want to use a strap on even if his own unit works perfectly well.

Unlike the more traditional leather harnesses, the Deuce is really sporty looking. The wide waistband, with the attractive Spare Parts Hardware logo on it, adjusts using velcro. There’s also a second set of adjusting straps on the waistband to gain precision snugness. Even the leg straps are adjustable.

You can use a lot of different kinds and sizes of dongs and dildos, just as long as the ones you choose have a base. And putting the dildo or dong in place is super easy, the O-ring is very accommodating.

Don’t be afraid of using lots of lube, because as I mentioned earlier you just pop the Deuce in the washer and you’re done with the cleanup. Don’t even think of trying that with a conventional leather harness.

The Deuce comes with a zippered storage bag. And there’s even a pocket in the bag for condoms and/or a small bottle of lube. It’s idea for travel.

Finally, let me compliment Spare Parts Hardware on their packaging. It’s beautifully simple, yet amazingly classy and every part of the packaging is completely recyclable. Kudos!
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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SEX WISDOM With Darrel Ray — Podcast #345 — 09/05/12

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

Well we’re all back, safe and sound, from our late summer vacation. Although I must say, I think I could, given half a chance, easily get used to all that leisure. But there’s no rest for the wicked, don’t cha know, which is pretty ok with me because I like being wicked at lest as much as I enjoy the leisure. Besides, I have another very interesting SEX WISDOM show for you today.

I welcome the celebrated author of The God Virus and Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality. My guest is Dr. Darrel Ray. He is a psychologist and has been for 35 years. Curiously enough, he once planned on becoming a minister, but then that plan changed rather dramatically and he’s here to tell us how and why. You won’t want to miss this discussion.

Darrel and I discuss:

  • The similarities between his life voyage and mine;
  • Spirituality and the supernatural;
  • The rift between religion and sex;
  • The unstated goal of religion;
  • The toxic trio of key religious beliefs;
  • Moving from ministerial student to atheist;
  • Why religion needs information control;
  • Pioneering sexologist, Albert Ellis;
  • Atheistic humanism;
  • Sexual maps.

Darrel invite you to visit his site HERE! You can also find him on Facebook HERE! And he’s on Twitter HERE!

 

(Click on the book art below to learn more about Darrel’s books.)

   

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

drdickvod.jpg

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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A Labor Of (self) Love

Our brief summer holiday is coming rapidly to an end. The Dr Dick Review Crew is straggling back home and our podcasts will resume on Wednesday, 09/05/12. But today is Labor Day and I think we should acknowledge those who labor at self-love.

Name: Amy
Gender: female
Age: 23
Location: salt lake city
I have this weird thing that when I masturbate with a vibrator I can’t seem to bring myself to an orgasm. It feels really good and everything, but I get almost there but can’t quite cum. Does that make sense? It’s been awhile since I had a guy…but I digress. I was just wondering if you have any advice, or if I’m doing it wrong, or…I just need some help. Thanks a lot.

Hold on there, darlin’, are you tellin me you can jill-off just fine using your hand, but when you kick start your vibrator and apply it to your naughty bits you can’t cum? Is that what you’re tellin’ the good doctor? Or maybe I’m assuming things I shouldn’t. Maybe you’re not masturbating to orgasm at all, by hand or by gadget.

Since you’re not here to fill me in, so to speak, the best way to handle this is with a scatter gun approach. If you’re unable to jill-off to completion by any means, manual or mechanical, you may be preorgasmic. I’ve written a lot about this already, so there’s no need for me to repeat myself. Here’s what you do; check the CATEGORY pull down menu in the sidebar to your right.  Look for the main category — Sex therapy and under that look for the subcategory ‘Preorgasmic Women‘. Or check out the main category — Sexual Performance and look for the subcategory ‘Female Masturbation‘. You’ll find loads of swell information about this very topic.

If, perchance, you can masturbate just fine using your hand, but the rub (no pun intended) comes when you introduce a vibrator, then that’s a horse of a different color. In that instance, I’ll need more information before I can be of much help. Like, I’d want to know what kind of vibe are you using? Is it an all purpose wand type? A dildo kinda thingy that you insert in your pussy? Is it a rabbit, a G-spot vibe, a bullet or an egg-shaped vibrator? Are you doing any direct clitoral stimulation?

If you can make yourself cum through manual stimulation, how different a sensation is the vibrator? Is it possible that you need more vroom? Is it too intense?

What about other stimulus? Like what’s going on between your ears while you’re diddlin’ yourself? Are you thinking dirty thoughts? Watching some delicious smut? Reading some kick-ass erotica? Or are you concentrating so much on making the big “O” happen to actually let it happen? Chicks get performance anxiety too, even when they are by themselves. Performance anxiety is not just a guy thing.

I discussed your question with my friend, Joy. She asked me to ask you about the position you are in when you’re jillin-off. She said she had the damnedest time throwing herself her first screamin’ meme, even with a vibrator until she discovered that getting into a squatting position with her back against a wall did the trick. Stands to reason, orgasms are all about building sexual and muscle tension. Joy found that squatting tensed her hamstrings, quadriceps, glutes and even her PC muscle. This tension was just the thing to deliver the goods. Joy did add, however, that getting out of the squat after the event was really tricky. She said that in the end, she just learned to simply topple over with a bit of a thud. I had to laugh when she told me this, because I couldn’t help seeing Joy in my mind’s eye (she’s a big girl, don’t cha know) all breathless and topsy-turvy on the floor with a big ol’ shit-eatin grin on her face after finally delivering herself from the land of the preorgasmic.

One final thing, I’ve often heard women speak of the high success rate of jillin-off to orgasm in the bath. Again, this stands to reason too. Here you are all relaxed, warm and cozy, all wet and squishy. Why not add a little jet of warm water or a waterproof vibe and you’ll be havin’ an orgasm as easy as fallin’ off a log…or so I’m told. Just remember, baths and plug-in, electrical kinda vibes definitely don’t mix! A miscalculation here and you’ll find your ass in the sweet hereafter.

Listen, Amy, why not write back sometime with either more information or to report a success. I’d love to hear from you.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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A little late summer break…

Hey sex fans,

Everyone here at Dr Dick Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews is taking a well-deserved, but short, late summer break. Our podcasts and product reviews will come roaring back on September 5, 2012. Stay tuned!