France to Make Condoms Free for Young People

— The new policy, which will take effect in January, is part of an effort to counter an increase in sexually transmitted diseases in recent years.

French health authorities say that sexually transmitted infections have been on the rise as a result of a decline in the use of prevention methods.

By Constant Méheut

France will begin offering free condoms in pharmacies for people up to age 25 starting Jan. 1, in a bid to reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, President Emmanuel Macron said on Friday.

“It’s a small revolution for prevention,” Mr. Macron said as he announced the news in a video message posted on Twitter.

The move comes as health authorities have observed an increase in sexually transmitted infections, such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, in recent years. But it is also part of a broader public health campaign that has led France to expand free access to contraception and screening for sexually transmitted diseases.

Mr. Macron said that “regarding sexual health” of young people, “we have a real issue,” according to reports from French news outlets present at the debate. And he acknowledged that, when it comes to sex education, “We’re not good on this topic.”

The French president had initially announced on Thursday, during a health debate with young people, that the measure would only apply to people ages 18 to 25. But on Friday — after several people and activists called him out on the fact that minors, too, were at risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases — Mr. Macron announced that he was extending the policy to underage people.

“Let’s do it!” Mr. Macron, who by the evening had traveled to Alicante, Spain, for a European summit, said in the video message.

Since 2018, people have been able to get the cost of condoms reimbursed by the national health system if they were purchased in a pharmacy with a prescription. But the measure is not well known to young French people. And more than a quarter of them say they “never” or “not always” use condoms during sexual intercourse with a new partner, according to a study released last year by HEYME, a student health insurance company.

“Condom use is very low, especially among young people,” said Catherine Fohet, a gynecologist and top member of the National Federation of Institutes of Medical Gynecology. She said the price of condoms can be prohibitive but also pointed to their “bad image” as devices that reduce tactile sensation.

French health authorities say that sexually transmitted infections, or S.T.I.s, have been on the rise in recent years, especially among young people, as a result of a decline in the use of prevention methods.

Recently released figures show that the number of people infected with chlamydia rose last year by 15 percent compared with 2020, and more than doubled compared with 2014, based on data from screenings at private health centers.

Meanwhile, gonorrhea infections have been growing since 2016, and H.I.V. infections, which condom use had helped curb in the 1980s and 1990s, have stagnated around 5,000 from 2020 to 2021.

“There’s an explosion of S.T.I.s,” said Jérôme André, the director of HF Prévention, an association that organizes screenings among university students. He added that in some universities of the Paris region, the rate of S.T.I.s reached 40 to 60 percent of those tested.

“We end up testing tons of people who should not be infected,” Mr. André said.

Mr. Macron said in a message posted on Twitter following his announcement that other health measures would be implemented as part of a recently passed health care law. They include free emergency contraception for all women in pharmacies and free testing for sexually transmitted infections without a prescription, except H.I.V., for people under 26.

Ms. Fohet welcomed Thursday’s announcement, but she said free condoms “won’t solve everything.” She added that “education and information” were key to convincing people to use protection during sexual intercourse.

Mr. Macron acknowledged on Thursday that France needed “to train our teachers much better on this topic, we need to raise awareness.”

Earlier this year, the French government made contraception free for all women up to age 25. The move was welcomed by the country’s National Council of the Order of Midwives, which said in a statement that it should be accompanied by better sexual education for all teenagers ages 15 to 18.

“Handing out condoms is good,” Mr. André said. “But when people are already infected, it’s too late.”

Complete Article HERE!

Common Questions About Condoms

— Yes, there is a condom that will fit

Condoms are often part of safe sex and contraception discussions because, when used correctly, they’re effective for birth control and sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention.

But there’s quite a bit of confusion out there about condoms. Do they truly protect against herpes? Are two condoms better than one? Are some penises really “too big” for every condom out there? Physician assistant and sexual health expert Evan Cottrill, PA-C, AAHIVS, HIVPCP, helps clear up common myths about condoms.

What are the types of condoms?

First, some basics. What are the different types of condoms? There are two main types:

  • External condoms are worn over the penis to collect ejaculation fluids.
  • Internal condoms are worn inside the body to act as a barrier and keep ejaculation fluids from entering someone’s body.

There are also dental dams, which act as a barrier during oral sex of any kind.

All types of condoms reduce the risk of transmitting STIs through bodily fluids. Condoms also prevent pregnancy by keeping semen from entering the vagina. There are many other methods of birth control to prevent pregnancy, but a condom can also protect you from STIs. This is also true if you’re having anal sex.

Below, Cottrill walks us through nine facts about condoms and debunks some popular myths along the way.

Are lambskin condoms different from latex condoms?

Condoms made from latex, polyurethane and other synthetic materials can protect you from STIs. But lamb cecum condoms, also called natural membrane or lambskin condoms, can allow viruses to pass through.

If you’re only concerned about preventing pregnancy, lambskin condoms are fine. But if you want protection from STIs, use a latex or polyurethane condom.

Are some people too big for condoms?

If someone has ever told you, Condoms don’t fit me, don’t buy it — this is a myth.

“Anatomic size varies, of course,” says Cottrill. “But there is a condom that can fit every person.”

Most penises don’t require a special condom size. But if needed, there are larger — and smaller — condom sizes available. If you can’t find the right fit at your local grocery store, try searching for them online.

Do condoms protect against herpes?

“Yes, when you use condoms consistently and correctly, they do protect against herpes,” says Cottrill.

The myth that condoms don’t protect against herpes probably came from people who weren’t using them correctly or weren’t using them enough. Herpes is a lifelong condition that spreads through close contact with someone who’s had the infection — even when they’re not having an outbreak and show no signs or symptoms of infection. Herpes can also spread through oral sex and by sharing sex toys, which means it’s important to use a dental dam or condom when participating in these activities.

“You need to use condoms for all types of sex, including oral sex, to prevent the spread of herpes,” states Cottrill.

Do condoms protect against HIV?

“Condoms most definitely reduce the risk of transmitting HIV,” says Cottrill.

However, when it comes to protecting against the spread of viral STIs, such as HIV, hepatitis C and herpes simplex virus (HSV), the condom material matters. For the best protection, avoid lambskin condoms and use latex or polyurethane instead.

Do condoms protect against HPV?

Yes, condoms protect against human papillomavirus (HPV) infection.

“Condoms are effective against any STI, whether bacterial or viral,” notes Cottrill. He again emphasizes that latex and polyurethane condoms — not lambskin — are your best protection.

Is it bad to keep a condom in your wallet?

“This is a very popular question,” says Cottrill. “I do not recommend keeping condoms in your wallet because heat lowers the quality of the material over time. Plus, the packaging can get torn or opened.”

It’s also not a good idea to keep condoms in your car, which can get very hot in the sun. It’s best to store condoms in a cool place where the package won’t get crushed, folded or punctured.

Should you use two condoms?

It might seem logical that two condoms would be better than one — twice the protection or something like that, right? But it’s actually the opposite.

“Do not use two condoms at the same time,” says Cottrill.

Friction during sex can weaken the condoms as they slide against each other, leading to breakage. You also don’t want to wear external condoms while your partner wears an internal condom for the same reasons. Using one condom at a time is most effective.

Can you use any lube with condoms?

Choosing the right lubricant depends partly on the type of condom you’re using. If you’re using latex, stick with silicone or water-based lubricants. Don’t use oil-based substances such as petroleum jelly (Vaseline®), lotion, massage oil or coconut oil, as these can weaken the latex and lead to tears.

But you can use oil-based lubricants with condoms made of polyurethane or other synthetic materials, as these won’t break down so easily.

Do condom expiration dates matter?

Yes, condoms expire, and it’s important to look at those dates.

“It’s best not to use a condom that’s past the date printed on the package or over five years old,” cautions Cottrill.

The condom material breaks down over time, so an older condom is more likely to tear during sex.

Tips for choosing and using condoms

When choosing a condom, consider:

  • Size: Regular-sized external condoms work just fine for most people. But you can find other sizes available, if necessary, typically right on the shelf at your local drugstore or online.
  • Material: Lambskin condoms work for avoiding pregnancy but aren’t great for STI protection. Latex and polyurethane condoms are best if you want to prevent the spread of STIs.
  • Allergies: Some people are allergic to latex. If that’s you or your partner, use condoms made of polyurethane or another synthetic material.

No matter what type of condom you’re choosing, use a new condom every time and follow the directions on the package to minimize the risk of slippage, leakage or breakage. If your condom does tear or break while you’re having sex, stop immediately and replace it with a new condom. If you’re concerned about possible pregnancy or STIs, make an appointment with a healthcare provider.

If you’ve tossed the box and need a refresher on how to properly use external condoms, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has a handy guide for using external condoms.

Complete Article HERE!

Sexual health week

— 5 common myths about STIs that need to be dispelled

By

Cast your mind back to your secondary school sex education lessons: does the very thought of it make you cringe?

Because shockingly, putting condoms on bananas and labelling diagrams of vulvas is quite limited. In fact, a 2016 study found that almost three-quarters of pupils are not taught about important issues like consent and at least 95% don’t receive education about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender relationships in school.

Therefore it’s no surprise that when it comes to STIs, even though there were 317,901 diagnoses of STIs made in England in 2020, there’s still plenty we don’t know or get wrong.

Over 70% of men and over 85% of women are classified as having had unsafe sex in the past year, but 64% of men and 73% of women said they perceived themselves as not at all at risk for STIs.

So to mark sexual health week, Valentina Milanova, founder of Daye, a gynaecological health company that is committed to raising the standards in gynae health, is helping Stylist to dispel some of the most common myths.

Myth: all STIs have symptoms

One of the most common myths associated with sexual health is that all STIs have symptoms. However, Milanova explains that some 70% of female STIs are asymptomatic, so you won’t know you have an STI unless you get tested. “This is why it’s extremely important to get tested regularly, even if you are in a monogamous relationship,” she says.

Myth: STIs will eventually disappear without treatment

Unfortunately, STIs will not go away by themselves. However, most STIs can be treated with a simple course of antibiotics. “Early detection is important,” Milanova suggests. “Like other infections, the longer an STI is left untreated, the more serious the potential health implications become.”

Myth: condoms can protect against all STIs

While condoms are generally great at protecting against STIs such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, you can still catch herpes, genital warts and syphilis even if you always practise protected sex. “This is why it’s important to ensure that both you and your partner get tested regularly, even if you do use a condom when having sex,” repeats Milanova.

Myth: STIs only affect young people who have sex frequently with multiple people

Actually, anyone who is sexually active can contract an STI, no matter their gender, age, or sexuality. STIs do not discriminate and are perfectly normal. 

Myth: the contraceptive pill protects against STIs

The pill can prevent pregnancy, but it cannot stop you from catching an STI. The most effective way to protect against STIs is by using a condom.

Complete Article HERE!

What to know about sexually transmitted infections

With rates of some STIs on the rise, it’s never been more important to understand the risks, symptoms and treatments.

By Annie Hauser

While the pandemic delayed many routine screenings, rates of some common sexually transmitted infections didn’t slow. Rather, rates of syphilis and congenital syphilis continued to surge, as did gonorrhea cases, according to a recent report from the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention of 2020 data.

Chlamydia infections declined though that may have been due to pandemic-related decreases in screening, rather than an actual drop in cases, the CDC notes.

Overall, rising cases of many STIs—including congenital syphilis—highlight the need for people to be aware of the risks, prevention strategies, and treatment options, says Okeoma Mmeje, M.D., M.P.H., an obstetrician-gynecologist at University of Michigan Health Von Voigtlander Women’s Hospital who has expertise in reproductive infectious diseases.

Who is at risk for STIs?

More than 50% of new STIs in the U.S. are in people aged 15 to 24. Generally, if you’re in this age group and sexually active, it’s recommended that you be screened at least once a year whether that’s at a student health center, a pediatrician or a gynecologist. The CDC also recommends that everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 be screened for HIV at least once.

In Michigan, anyone over the age of 13 can access reproductive services without parental consent, which can help make accessing services easier for young people.

“Testing is important because we know that untreated or recurrent STIs can be associated with reproductive harm, especially in those who have chronic pelvic pain, pelvic inflammatory disease or damage to their fallopian tubes, which increases their risk for ectopic pregnancy or infertility in the future,” says Mmeje.

People should be particularly aware of rising syphilis rates among heterosexual women. In recent years, syphilis hasn’t affected women as much as men. But a change in incidence means women need to know about the risk, including the worrying increase in congenital syphilis.

Congenital syphilis is still relatively rare—there were 2,148 cases in 2020, which amounts to 57.3 cases per 100,000 live births in the U.S. But that’s a staggering increase of 254% over 2016 numbers. And it can be deadly to newborns. Most people can be screened for STIs during pregnancy, so it’s thought the rise in cases is due to a lack of access to prenatal care.

“If someone misses appointments or has no prenatal care at all, that’s where we see these incidents of people falling through the cracks,” Mmeje says.

Preventing and treating STIs

Mmeje wants people to feel empowered and not judged when it comes to STIs. It’s important to have conversations about risks with sexual partners to understand your risk. Barrier methods, like male or female condoms, can help prevent STIs.

If you know you’re at a higher risk for HIV, there are medications you can take to help prevent infection. Risk factors for HIV include multiple sexual partners and intravenous drug use. Other STIs, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis, can be associated with an increased risk of HIV infection.

If you do contract an STI, most can be easily treated. In most states, your partner can get medication too without a visit to a health care provider. It’s called expedited partner therapy. A physician can prescribe medication to a person’s sexual partner without doing a separate clinical evaluation.

Mmeje says that clinicians would prefer that sexual partners of a person diagnosed with an STI come in for their own evaluation. But expedited partner therapy can help in cases when it’s not possible for the sexual partner to come in and be seen.

COVID-19 and STI testing

At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, public health resources were redirected to pandemic-related efforts. As a result, STI clinics were shut down and a decrease in sexual health screening and testing followed, according to a study from the National Coalition of STD Directors. People receiving treatment at student health centers may have been particularly impacted.

While this caused many people—particularly those in economically and/or socially marginalized populations—to lose access to these critical health care services, the pandemic forced innovation too.

At-home tests for STIs are more available now than ever before.

“Almost overnight, there were all these platforms available for ordering STI tests online that can be done at home,” Mmeje says.

These home-based tests can be expensive and aren’t covered by insurance. But the privacy and convenience can’t be beat, especially for young people or college students who may not regularly visit a primary care physician or OB-GYN, or for individuals with sexual partners who do not want to seek care in a traditional clinical setting.

Trichomoniasis in women

Most people know about syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, but trichomoniasis—known as “trich”—isn’t as well known among the general population. But it’s extremely common: there were an estimated 2.6 million cases of it in 2018, according to the CDC. That works out to infections in about 2.1% of women between the ages of 14 and 59.

Trich is a parasitic infection. About 70% of people with it don’t have symptoms. But for those who do, the signs include itching, burning and irritation, discharge from the penis or vaginal area, and discomfort while urinating.

In pregnant people, trich can be associated with early birth or a low birth weight.

Like other common STIs, it’s easily treatable after diagnosis.

Overall, Mmeje wants to reduce stigma around STIs to help more people access STI screening and treatment services.

“I want people to understand and know that an STI is not the end of the world,” says Mmeje. “You can be treated to prevent recurrent infection and complications.”

Complete Article HERE!

Why Are Sexually Transmitted Infections Surging?

After reaching historic lows more than a decade ago, rates are on the rise again.

By Kim Tingley

Last month, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released its latest data on cases of sexually transmitted infections during the first year of the pandemic. In the early months of 2020, the number of people diagnosed with gonorrhea and syphilis declined, as you might expect — it was, after all, a time of extreme isolation for many. Subsequently, though, infection rates surged so much that by the end of the year, the case counts were 10 percent and 7 percent higher than in 2019. In total, there were some 134,000 reports of syphilis and 678,000 reports of gonorrhea. These were “stunning” increases, says Hilary Reno, an associate professor at the Washington University School of Medicine and medical director of the St. Louis County Sexual Health Clinic. “I can’t tell you how many primary-care physicians have called me recently and said, ‘I just saw my first-ever case of syphilis this year.’”

Indeed, syphilis was nearly eradicated in the United States around 2000; gonorrhea reached its lowest rates of infection in 2009. Many doctors who began practicing during that period haven’t had experience diagnosing these S.T.I.s, particularly in their female patients. According to Ina Park, a professor of family and community medicine at the University of California, San Francisco, “There’s an entire generation of physicians and clinicians who had never seen syphilis in women and babies before.”

This is a significant problem: S.T.I.s can irrevocably damage the reproductive system. At least 20,000 women are rendered infertile by untreated S.T.I.s in the United States each year. Syphilis can cause sores and rashes and, if untreated for decades, fatal damage to the brain, heart and other organs. Gonorrhea can be painful and may result in pelvic inflammatory disease in women. Each condition is caused by bacteria and can be cured with antibiotics (though drug-resistant strains of the bacterium that causes gonorrhea are on the rise). Unfortunately, they are often asymptomatic, especially in women, and for them it can be harder to see signs of infection and easier to mistake some of those signs as normal discharge or yeast infections.

The ease with which S.T.I.s spread undetected makes it crucial to screen for them regularly. Yet that is not happening. “The pandemic made S.T.I.s worse in America — for the first year, people all but stopped getting testing and treatment,” says David C. Harvey, executive director of the National Coalition of S.T.D. Directors, a trade association for state and local S.T.I. Health Department programs that collected its own data during the pandemic. (The C.D.C. data comes from a national surveillance system that includes mandatory lab reporting and sample surveys.) Moreover, contact tracers, assigned to notify sexual partners of exposure, were redeployed to focus on Covid.

Historically, the highest rates of syphilis have been among gay and bisexual men, then among heterosexual men. And while that is still true, cases among gay and bisexual men have risen more slowly in recent years and even declined slightly in 2020. Cases among heterosexual women, on the other hand, increased 30 percent from 2018 to 2019 and 21 percent from 2019 to 2020, jumps that experts attribute in part to the increasing prevalence of opioid and methamphetamine abuse, which makes risky sexual behavior — transactional sex, condomless sex — more likely among all genders.

This trend among women has fueled a corresponding surge in syphilis among newborns. In 2020, there was a nearly 15 percent increase in congenital syphilis — amounting to a 235 percent increase from 2016. Congenital syphilis can lead to severe lifelong health complications and stillbirth; of 2,148 infants who contracted syphilis in 2020, 149 did not survive. When women who are engaging in substance abuse become pregnant, they frequently avoid prenatal care for fear of being drug-tested and potentially losing custody of the child. That means many of them aren’t tested for syphilis and don’t receive the treatment that would prevent their baby from getting it. The C.D.C. recommends testing for the infection at the first prenatal visit and, for women who test positive or are at increased risk, early in the third trimester as well as at delivery. (Most states require doctors to perform the initial test, but only 19 also require screening in the third trimester.)

Perhaps the simplest explanation for the overall rise in S.T.I.s between the 2000s and now is that lawmakers reallocated funding to other problems deemed more dire. Many S.T.I. clinics that provided free or low-cost testing and treatment closed or scaled back hours. Other factors contributed to the problem. The growth of online dating expanded sexual networks. The ability to prevent H.I.V. infection with prophylactic medication reduced the inhibitions against having sex without a condom. And most states still do not provide comprehensive sex education. If they did, more people would know that it’s important to treat S.T.I.s and not wait, says Whitney Irie, a lecturer in population medicine at Harvard Medical School. As it is, a popular impression is that S.T.I.s are “essentially obsolete,” she says. “I don’t think there’s a clear understanding, especially among people with a uterus, of the long-term impact on your reproductive organs. There’s this casualness about it that lends itself to being casual about preventive measures.”

Reducing the burden of S.T.I.s will require outreach, particularly for marginalized groups, including women, people in the L.G.B.T.Q. community, Native Americans and Alaskan Natives and people of color, all of whom suffer disproportionately high rates largely because the health care system has neglected them. Black women, for example, have rates of syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia that are as much as seven times that of white women, and they face additional hurdles to receiving sexual health care. Black women, Irie says, must also contend with the “perceived stigma and perceived shame from their community” that receiving sexual health care means you don’t share its values, such as female monogamy. That’s a stereotype applied to women across many demographics.

To reach those who have been disenfranchised, providers need to be trained to offer sexual health care to patients who have experienced historical trauma and sexual trauma, including assault and abuse. “If they’re met with a system that doesn’t use open terminology or doesn’t recognize their trauma, their experience can be horrible,” Reno says. “We can retraumatize them, and they don’t come back ever.”

Public-health initiatives have also succeeded by partnering with local institutions people trust. In St. Louis, which has some of the nation’s highest rates of S.T.I.s, many barbershops and beauty salons offer testing information and free condoms; elsewhere, projects in partnership with churches have been able to increase mammograms and H.I.V. testing among Black women. Half of all new S.T.I. infections are among 15-to-24-year-olds, but school-based health centers that offer comprehensive health services on campus have been shown to improve attendance and graduation rates and decrease urgent-care visits.

The pandemic has interrupted countless health services. But it also generated solutions. For example, in March 2020, a program called TakeMeHome began mailing out free H.I.V. self-test kits, with a focus on reaching gay and bisexual men. Half the recipients had not been tested within the previous year, and more than a third of them had never been tested at all; after using the kit, more than 10 percent reported accessing other sexual-health services. “You have to make it as easy for people as possible,” Park says.

If you’re sexually active, you will inevitably be exposed to pathogens, just as you are by shaking hands with or breathing the same air as others. “Your clothes are off,” Park says. “That’s the only difference.” S.T.I.s “are not a personal failing,” Reno says. “This is a systemic societal challenge.” Thus, talking openly about sexual health care stands to benefit everyone. Park recommends pressing your provider for testing; ideally, S.T.I. screening would be treated like a trip to the dentist. “Put it in your routine as something you do regularly.”

Complete Article HERE!

What’s The STD Knowledge Gap & Why Is It An Issue For Women’s Health?

By Alice Broster

Sex and health education has changed a lot over the last few decades. Depending on where you grew up, it’s more than likely that the syllabus being taught in schools now bears little to no resemblance to what was on offer when you were there. However, this has serious implications for your health and wellbeing as you get older. While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported that sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise in the US and the UK, research has found that British and American adults are experiencing a knowledge gap when it comes to STDs, perhaps due to a lack of educational programming. 

Both the US and UK are seeing spikes in chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. Along with a decline in condom use, the CDC reports that STD programming at the state and local level is lacking, and fewer people are receiving care due to budget cuts. Research conducted by the Superdrug Online Doctor found that when answering their 16 question STD quiz, the average score in the US was 35% and it was lower at 31% for UK respondents. That constitutes a fail in most high school health classes. Millennials had the most competent STD knowledge with their score averaging at 36% and Gen Z has the most to learn, with an average score of 30%.

42% of Americans could identify one symptom of chlamydia and women were more aware of how it could manifest. 66% of female respondents knew it doesn’t always show signs, compared to 47% of men. Superdrug Online Doctor attributed this to the fact that doctors have publicized the fact the chlamydia can be asymptomatic in women and can cause serious fertility issues, such as premature births and ectopic pregnancies.

Sex education isn’t standardized and no matter how open you are, there’s still taboo attached to certain conditions. “Talking about sexual health is often difficult for people as it’s such a personal and intimate issue. That’s why there’s always been a lot of misinformation and urban myths going around,” says Dr. Babak Ashrafi, at Superdrug Online Doctor, “the more we open up about sexual health and destigmatize it, the better informed we’ll all be.”

The prospect of contracting a sexually transmitted disease is scary but there are so many precautions you can take. Condoms are about 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and also protect you against most STDs. However, 63% of Americans and 54% of Brits thought wearing a male and female condom would be extra effective. This is a myth and might reduce its effectiveness.

If you’re sexually active you also have to take responsibility for your sexual health. “The key is accessibility. Restrictive opening hours or long waiting times can deter people from getting issues checked out, which can, in turn, see symptoms worsen and infections spread further due to delayed treatment,” says Dr. Simran Deo at UK-based online doctor, Zava UK, “this can in some cases lead to the need for more invasive treatments and can have an impact on fertility and general wellbeing. There is also the issue of embarrassment, many people are hesitant to speak to a doctor or medical professional about their sexual health, or would simply rather not know. Increasing awareness of online services and test-kits is a really good way to combat these accessibility issues.”

Walk-in centers, your gynecologist, online doctors and nonprofit organizations can provide crucial information to help you get clued up on the symptoms and consequences of STDs. They also provide crucial testing services. However, as many people are still in self-isolation during the COVID-19 pandemic and going to your doctor is ill-advised, using online resources is your best option at this time. “Our doctors at Superdrug Online Doctor are all on hand to offer personalized, confidential advice to anyone who needs it. Just message us through your account with your questions. Otherwise, your GP or local sexual health clinic are excellent sources of information, where you can also get the tests you need,” says Dr Ashrafi.

Just because you’re in lockdown during the COVID-19 pandemic doesn’t mean you have to let your sexual or reproductive health suffer. STDs are on the rise in the US and UK and as some can leave you with long-lasting medical complications or even infertility it’s so important to empower yourself with knowledge.

Complete Article HERE!

Medical Myths: Sexual health

Sexual health is associated with a wide range of myths and misunderstandings. In this episode of Medical Myths, we will address nine common misconceptions. Among others, we cover double condoms, toilet seats, and the “pull-out” method.

by Tim Newman

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have been on the rise in the United States. In April 2021, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)Trusted Source announced that, in 2019, STIs had reached an all-time high for the sixth consecutive year.

In 2019, the CDC received reports of over 2.5 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 1 millionTrusted Source STIs are acquired worldwide each day.

Despite rising rates, there is still significant stigma attached to STIs. For some, this might mean individuals are less willing to speak about sexual health concerns or raise questions with a doctor.

This unwillingness to speak openly about sexual health can breed misinformation.

Of course, the internet is a convenient first port of call when someone has a question they would like to ask anonymously. Sadly, not all information that appears on the web can be trusted.

Here, Medical News Today approached some common myths associated with sexual health and asked for input from an expert:

Dr. Sue Mann, a consultant in sexual and reproductive health and a medical expert in reproductive health at Public Health England.

Increasing understanding of sexual health helps people make informed, safe decisions. Although one article cannot brush away deeply ingrained falsehoods, the more trustworthy information that is available, the better.

1. When someone is taking ‘the pill,’ they cannot contract an STI

This is a myth. Oral contraception cannot protect against contracting an STI.

As Dr. Mann explained to MNT, “oral contraception […] only works to prevent pregnancy. The only way to protect yourself from getting an STI when using oral contraception is by wearing a condom.”

Mirroring this, the CDC statesTrusted Source: “Birth control methods like the pill, patch, ring, and intrauterine device (IUD) are very effective at preventing pregnancy, but they do not protect against [STIs] and HIV.”

2. The ‘withdrawal method’ prevents pregnancy

The so-called withdrawal method, also called coitus interruptus or the pull-out method, is when the penis is pulled out of the vagina before ejaculation. Although it may reduce the chance of pregnancy, “the withdrawal method is not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy,” said Dr. Mann.

When used accurately, it can reduce the risk of pregnancy, but accuracy can be difficult in the heat of the moment.

Additionally, the penis releases pre-ejaculate, or pre-cum, before ejaculation. In some cases, sperm can be present in this fluid.

In one studyTrusted Source, for instance, scientists examined samples of pre-ejaculate from 27 participants. The scientists identified viable sperm in 10 of the participant’s pre-ejaculate.

Each volunteer provided a maximum of five samples. Interestingly, the researchers found sperm in either all or none of their samples. In other words, some people tend to have sperm in their pre-ejaculate, while others do not. The authors concluded:

“[C]ondoms should continue to be used from the first moment of genital contact, although it may be that some men, less likely to leak spermatozoa in their pre-ejaculatory fluid, are able to practice coitus interruptus more successfully than others.”

3. The ‘withdrawal method’ prevents STIs

Using the withdrawal method, “you can still get an STI, such as HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia,” explained Dr. Mann.

4. Using two condoms doubles the protection

It is understandable why people might assume two condoms would provide twice the protection, but this is a myth.

“It is actually more risky to use two or more condoms when having sex,” said Dr. Mann. “The likelihood of the condom breaking is higher due to the amount of friction the condom is enduring. A single condom is the best option.”

5. You can contract STIs from a toilet seat

This is perhaps one of the most persistent myths associated with STIs. Yet, despite being repeatedly debunked, it remains a myth. Dr. Mann told MNT:

“STIs are spread through unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex, and by genital contact and sharing sex toys.”

She also explained that the viruses that cause “STIs cannot survive for long outside the human body, so they generally die quickly on surfaces like toilet seats.”

Similarly, the bacteria responsible for STIs, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, cannot survive outside the body’s mucous membranes for a significant amount of time. For that reason, they would not survive on a toilet seat.

6. There are no treatments for STIs

This is not true. However, although they can be treated, not all can be cured. The WHOTrusted Source explains that eight pathogens make up the vast majority of STIs.

Four of the eight are curable: the bacterial infections syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, and the parasitic infection trichomoniasis.

The remaining four are viral: hepatitis B, herpes simplex virus (HSV), HIV, and human papillomavirus (HPV). These cannot yet be cured. However, it is worth noting that HPV infections are often clearedTrusted Source by the body naturally.

“Penetrative sex isn’t the only way someone can contract an STI. Oral sex, genital contact, and sharing sex toys are other ways that STIs can be spread,” Dr. Mann told MNT.

Beyond sexual contact, it is also possible to contract an STI from exposure to blood that contains the infectious pathogen, including through sharing needles.

This is another longstanding and entirely incorrect assumption. According to Dr. Mann:

“Anyone, regardless of sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, age, or gender, can contract HIV. If you have HIV and don’t know it, you’re more likely to pass it on. But if you know your status, you can make sure you and your partner(s) are taking steps to stay healthy.”

Dr. Mann underscores the importance of testingTrusted Source, explaining that in many countries, “testing is free, easy, and confidential. You can even do a test in the comfort of your own home.”

“A lot of people pass on STIs to others without even knowing,” said Dr. Mann. “STIs can be spread with symptoms or without.”

Indeed, the WHO explainsTrusted Source that “[t]he majority of STIs have no symptoms or only mild symptoms that may not be recognized as an STI.”

“That is why,” Dr. Mann explained, “it is important to be tested regularly and to use a condom to prevent STIs as much as possible.”

To summarize, STIs are common but preventable. Regular testing and understanding how to keep yourself safe are key to remaining STI-free.

After completing a bachelor’s degree in neuroscience at the U.K.’s University of Manchester, Tim changed course entirely to work in sales, marketing, and analysis. Realizing that his heart truly lies with science and writing, he changed course once more and joined the Medical News Today team as a News Writer. Now Senior Editor for news, Tim leads a team of top notch writers and editors, who report on the latest medical research from peer reviewed journals; he also pens a few articles himself. When he gets the chance, he enjoys listening to the heaviest metal, watching the birds in his garden, thinking about dinosaurs, and wrestling with his children.

Complete Article HERE!

Simple ways to look after your sexual health

Barrier protection is the only contraceptive that also reduces the risk of STI transmission.

By

There are not many things more important than our health.

Living through a pandemic has taught us that much. Our experiences over the last two years have given all of us a new appreciation for being healthy and looking after our wellbeing.

However, one area is still frequently neglected and rarely talked about – sexual health. The reason for this is, largely, due to stigma.

Talking about sexual health is still a taboo, and there is still work to be done to normalise the conversation about testing, symptoms, and encouraging partners to discuss these things with each other.

Bianca Dunne is co-founder of sexual wellness brand, iPlaySafe App. She has shared her key tips to help you look after your sexual health – and encourage openness around this awkward topic.

Prevent infection

‘Your sexual health has an enormous impact on your mental and physical health,’ says Bianca.

‘All three need to be aligned to make you feel good and keep you productive. Keeping you healthy relies on prevention, testing, and treatment.’

Prevention means making sure you are vaccinated against viral illnesses such as hepatitis B and strains of Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) that are linked to cervical cancer in women.

‘You should discuss both with your GP if you are in doubt as to whether you have had or are eligible for these,’ says Bianca.

‘It also means stratifying your risk and mitigating risk where you can: condoms and dental dams are an effective way of doing this, as barrier protection is the only contraceptive that also reduces the risk of STI transmission (apart from abstinence, which we do not recommend!).’

Get tested regularly

Bianca says testing and contact tracing are of paramount importance in the fight against STIs – language that we have become all too familiar with over the course of the pandemic.

‘You should be regularly tested if you are having sex with different partners, ideally at a suitable interval after each interaction,’ she says.

‘Asking a partner when they were last tested is something many people don’t like doing, because society has made us feel ashamed when it comes to sexual health.

‘While more needs to be done to help combat and normalise this, by providing people with the tools, like with our “play badge”, this makes it a lot more fun and easier.’

But Bianca adds that you should be aware that some infections – such as HIV – won’t show up on tests until up to three months following exposure, and so regular testing is key.

‘Depending on the sexual history of your partners, different infections should be tested for,’ she adds. ‘Sexual health testing kits are available and will test routinely for the big six: HIV, Hep B, Hep C, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, but it’s important to be mindful of other infections – such as genital herpes and genital warts – which are diagnosed clinically, so you should consult your GP or your local GUM clinic, for treatment and management of these conditions.’

Source the right treatment

The good news is that treatment for sexual health is getting better and better.

‘Infections such as chlamydia can lead to devastating consequences such as infertility for women but are readily treated with antibiotics,’ says Bianca.

‘Due to advances in anti-retrovirals HIV infected individuals with an undetectable viral load are now considered to carry zero risk of transmitting the virus.

‘With continued awareness and important education around sexual health, we’re hoping the conversation around STIs and testing is normalised.

‘These conversations don’t have to be awkward, but instead can be a positive and healthy start a new sexual relationship. Regular testing and being up front about your sexual health, and the need to know your partners will help reduce unwanted transmissions to keep you healthy in bed, and ultimately encourage us all to live healthier lives.’

Do your research

‘Thankfully, a lot has been done in the space of sexual wellness in recent years,’ says Bianca, adding that this conversation has been accelerated by the pandemic.

‘There are many brands that share similar missions to help normalise the topic,’ she says. ‘Brands, like HANX, Smile Makers, Mojo are providing products and solutions to help all sexes, and experts like Dr Kate Moyle and sexual education author Ruby Rare, also helping provide answers to questions people may have due to not having a proper education previously.

‘Arming yourselves with the tools to help you look after, and enjoy your sexual wellbeing, will be so important.’

Complete Article HERE!

Yes, You Can Contract an STD Without Having Penetrative Sex

by Gabrielle Kassel

Anilingus. Cunnilingus. Mutual masturbation. Many nonpenetrative sex acts are *veryyy* much worth exploring from a pleasure perspective.

But many sex-havers engage in these sex acts under the assumption that sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can only be transmitted through penetration.

This myth results in many explorers thinking they’re being Safe™, when in fact they’ve put themselves in a position where STI transmission is, indeed, possible.

Confused? Concerned? Don’t be.

Below, experts explain exactly how an STI can be transmitted when a hole isn’t being penetrated. Plus, exactly what you need to know about STI testing.

STDs vs. STIs

Both acronyms refer to conditions that are primarily transmitted through sexual activity. STI stands for sexually transmitted infection, while STD stands for sexually transmitted disease.

Technically, a condition only qualifies as a disease if you have advanced symptoms, while the term infection applies if you don’t have any symptoms at all.

In everyday conversation and medical resources, the two terms are used interchangeably.

Sexually transmitted infectious particles don’t “hide” in the way back of your holes (e.g., mouth, anus, vagina).

Instead, these infectious particles can live on any internal or external skin or in bodily fluids, explains Dr. Felice Gersh, author of “PCOS SOS: A Gynecologist’s Lifeline To Naturally Restore Your Rhythms, Hormones, and Happiness.”

For this reason, “certain STIs can be spread anytime there’s skin-to-skin contact or when body fluids are spread,” she says.

Important: Not every STI can be passed on through contact with every single section of skin or every single bodily fluid.

What segments of skin or which bodily fluids can transmit the STI depends on the particular STI. It also depends on where the STI is located, or if it’s considered a full-body STI.

To be very clear, STIs aren’t weeds: They don’t simply sprout up out of nowhere.

For an STI to be transmitted, someone must be doing the transmitting. And for someone to do the transmitting, they must be STI-positive.

(And the only way to know if you’re STI-positive is to get tested, but more on that below).

According to Gersh, depending on what the STI is and where it’s located, an STI could be transmitted during any sexual activity that involves the following:

  • the mouth, lips, throat, or saliva
  • blood or breast milk
  • vaginal fluid, pre-ejaculation (pre-cum), semen, or anal secretions
  • the internal anal canal, anal entrance, or perineum
  • the vaginal canal, vulva, penis, or testicles

That means that, in theory, an STI can be transmitted during any of the following sex acts:

Anything that involves the ingestion of, exposure to, or swapping of bodily fluids could result in the transmission of infection.

For example:

  • platonic mouth kissing
  • getting a tattoo or piercing
  • sharing sex toys that haven’t been cleaned
  • getting a blood transfusion
  • sharing needles
  • breastfeeding or chestfeeding
  • giving birth
  • self-inoculation

However, most of the fearmongering around nonsexual STI transmissions — for instance, that you can get an STI from a toilet seat, hot tub, or public pool — is *not* based in science under most conditions.

STIs generally cannot exist outside the homeyness of the body’s mucosal membranes for very long. And all the chemicals in pools and hot tubs kill off any infectious agents.

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Before we answer this question, let’s talk about the word ‘dormant’ real quick. Most doctors don’t use it anymore, according to Gersh.

“The concept of a dormant STI isn’t helpful,” she says. “It’s predicated on the idea that you can have an STI that just isn’t doing anything in your body.”

The words doctors like to use instead are “asymptomatic” or “latent.”

An asymptomatic STI occurs when someone isn’t currently experiencing symptoms that they can feel, see, or smell. According to the World Health OrganizationTrusted Source, the majority of STIs are asymptomatic.

“It’s possible to have an STI, not be experiencing symptoms, and still transmit it to someone else,” Gersh explains.

“It’s also possible to have an STI, not be experiencing symptoms that you can feel or see, and still have it be doing something to your body,” she says.

For example, someone can have human papillomavirus (HPV), not be experiencing any symptoms, but still have the cellular makeup of their cervix altered by the virus.

You can also have an STI, not be experiencing symptoms now, but begin experiencing symptoms later.

An STI cannot be detected by an STI test immediately after exposure.

The STI can’t be detected because it hasn’t been in the body long enough for the body to develop antibodies in response to it, which is what most STI tests are looking for.

The incubation period is the amount of time between when someone contracts an STI and when they test positive for that STI on a test.

If you get tested for an STI during its incubation period the test will come back negative. “The incubation period is different for every single STI,” Gersh says. “It ranges from anywhere between 2 days and 3 months.”

This means that, if you have unprotected sex with someone, the move actually isn’t to get tested the next day, she says.

“That test will tell you if you were exposed to any STIs prior to having sex with that person,” Gersh explains. “But the test will not tell you if that person exposed you to any STIs.”

If you had unprotected sex, Gersh recommends getting tested after 2 weeks and then again 2 weeks later.

Some may use the phrase “unprotected sex” to refer to bareback penis-in-vagina intercourse. But here, we’re using it to refer to any sex that took place without a barrier method.

That includes any sex that happened with a broken condom, expired condom, or other condom mishaps.

If you’ve never been screened before and want to, congratulations on deciding to take your sexual health into your own hands. Seriously, the importance of this step can’t be overstated!

Start by finding a testing center near you by checking out this STI testing center guide. Before you head to the testing spot, make sure they test for all the STIs you’re interested in getting tested for. Some clinics only test for HIV, for example.

When you get there, be sure to ask explicitly for all the STIs you want to get tested for, especially if you want to be tested for oral or anal STIs.

Most testing centers only test for genital gonorrhea, genital chlamydia, HIV, and syphilis unless asked otherwise, Gersh notes.

It *is* possible to contract or transmit an STI without having penetrative sex. The best way to protect yourself and your partner(s) from transmission is for everyone to know their current STI status.

Complete Article HERE!

Why does sex hurt?

14 common reasons why intercourse is painful, plus how to prevent it

By

So, why does sex hurt? Good question – and, sadly, not one that there’s a straightforward answer too.

Getting intimate and then feeling a stabbing, burning or, well, any kind of pain down there can be a bit of a mood killer, can’t it? Not to mention a worry.

Sex can hurt for a number of reasons, from underlying infections to hidden health conditions. That highlighted, it’s definitely better to deal with it sooner rather than later – no point gritting your teeth and hoping it will go away.

Known medically as dyspareunia, as obstetrician, gynaecologist and ambassador for Wellbeing Sisters doctor Larisa Corda explains, painful sex affects one in ten British women, as per an International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology study.

And, according to doctor Shree Datta, gynaecologist for intimate wellbeing brand INTIMINA, there are two main types. Superficial dyspareunia – pain at the entrance to the vagina or within it at the point of penetration – or deep dyspareunia – which occurs deep in the pelvis. “Remember that pain can range from a mild irritation to debilitating pain, meaning sex can’t be tolerated, and it may be temporary, intermittent or a long term problem,” she explains.

Both female experts stress that it’s important to discover it sooner rather than later why you may be suffering from pain during sex. Keep reading to decode why does sex hurt, once and for all.

1. Too little lubrication

FYI, one of the most common reasons you’re having to Google, ‘why does sex hurt?’, is because you have too little vaginal lubrication during sex. This is totally normal – a lot of women experience vaginal dryness.

Your vagina lacking moisture can be down to the amount of foreplay before penetration, or even a lack of hormones such as oestrogen around the time of menopause, explains Datta. “If you suffer from medical conditions such as diabetes or depression, this can also affect your sexual libido and enjoyment,” she shares.

Bottom line: many women simply do not produce enough vaginal lubrication, including younger women, adds Samantha Evans, sexual health expert, former nurse and co founder of luxury sex toy retailer Jo Divine.

Try this: Rather than keep Googling why does sex hurt, Evans shares that the use of lubricants can really help. Often GPs will prescribe a hormonal cream or pessary, but many gynaecologists advocate using vaginal lubricants to help nourish the delicate tissues of the vagina. Read out guide to the best lubes to buy over the counter, while you’re here.

2. You may be suffering from a skin condition

Did you know? Underlying skin conditions can actually cause irritation during sex, and condoms may also cause discomfort or burning, particularly if you have an allergy, explains Datta. If your vagina burns after sex, you may have eczema and other genital skin conditions, such as lichen sclerosis.

Try this: Make sure you visit your GP to get your skin condition defined, if you think you may be suffering. From there, they can help you decide the best course of action, explains Corda.

3. You may have vaginismus

Ever heard of vaginismus? If you haven’t, it’s the tightening of your vaginal muscles automatically at the time of penetration, explains Datta. But why does this happen? “It can be caused by a combination of physical and psychological issues,” explains Corda. “Physical causes can include urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted diseases, vulvodynia, skin conditions such as psoriasis or eczema, menopause, and birth trauma.”

Psychological problems, on the other hand, can be caused by emotional or sexual trauma. “A previous painful experience with sex might make it harder to feel aroused and enjoy touch,” explains a spokesperson from Brook Advisory. “It can also make the muscles around the vagina and anus clench (to protect you from the pain you’re worried about) and make penetration difficult and more painful.”

Try this: With the appropriate medical intervention and counselling, the experts share that the problem can be alleviated to enable penetrative sex. Treatment usually involves specialist counselling, pelvic floor exercises, biofeedback training with a women’s health physiotherapist and use of medical dilators or a vibrator or dildo to slowly encourage the vagina to relax and open.

4. You may have an STD

Pain during or after sex can also be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease (STI) or vaginal infection, like a urinary tract infection like cystitis.

“Stinging or burning during sex may be as a result of a sexually transmitted infection, especially if you also experience an unusual vaginal discharge, or an unusual odour,” says Professor Ellis Downes, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist and spokesperson for vSculpt. “If you have a new sexual partner and have had unprotected sex with him, and are experiencing these symptoms it would be a good idea to have it diagnosed and treated by your GP or at a sexual health clinic.”

Try this: STIs such as Chlamydia or gonorrhoea can have little to no symptoms but vaginal itching or burning, as well as painful sex, might be a sign that you are infected. Visit your GP or GUM clinic for a test. Treatments usually involve antibiotics but your doctor can recommend the next course of action.

5. You might have thrush

Three out of four women will suffer with thrush at some point in their lives, although it’s other infections, such as bacterial vaginosis. As above, UTI’s are also a common reason as to why sex is likely to hurt. Vaginal thrush, in particular, is a common yeast infection, and the main symptoms include painful sex, itching, soreness, stinging, burning when peeing and an odourless discharge.

Try this: You can pick up a DIY test in most pharmacies to determine whether you have thrush or BV, and your pharmacist will be able to recommend the best course of action. It’s usually treated with anti-fungal cream, pessaries, pills or a combination.

6. You could be going through the menopause

According to Corda, during the menopause, women experience a reduction in sex hormones which can lead to both vaginal dryness and sexual pain.

Do note here: Don’t feel embarrassed about this or suffer in silence – as Datta points out, lots of people experience sexual problems at different stages of life. “There is a lot of help out there, so there is no need to deal with this difficulty alone,” she shares. Do book an appointment with your GP if you think your painful sex may be because of menopausal symptoms.

7. Your vagina may be irritated

You’ll likely know that genital irritation can be caused by spermicides, latex or vaginal douching. Some women are allergic to certain products or even their partner’s sperm. Latex products, such as condoms or sex toys, can also cause an allergic reaction, so if you’ve ever experienced an itching or burning sensation when trying new products, then you might’ve had an irritation or allergic reaction which can, in turn, lead to painful sex.

Try this: do be aware of what you are applying to the delicate skin of your genitals. Glycerin – which is often found in flavoured lubes – as well as parabens and aspartame, can cause irritation. Similarly, alkali or acidic lubes can mess with the pH balance of your vagina and cause dryness and itching. Instead, switch to a water-based (not silicon-based) lube, such as Pjur. Another alternative is Sliquid, which is also glycerin- and paraben-free.

Similarly, opt for latex-free condoms and, when using a sex toy, make sure you clean if after use (read how to clean your sex toys, here), recommends Downes. “Some cleaning substances can irritate the vaginal lining, though, so do note that it’s best just to use hot water and natural soap.”

8. You may just not be aroused

“If you’re not physically aroused, touch of any kind can be uncomfortable, especially if it’s somewhere sensitive, like your clitoris or the tip of your penis,” says a spokesperson from the Brook Advisory Clinic. “Being well-lubricated, relaxed and with lots of blood flow in the area (you want either an erect penis or a vulva swell) helps with this, so put plenty of focus on foreplay,” they recommend.

FYI, women especially need warming up before penetrative sex, both physically and emotionally. “If you’re not feeling turned on – that is, if you’re not mentally aroused – touch can be unpleasant. For example, being tickled when you’re feeling playful and silly is usually more fun than when you’re tired or angry,” adds the Brook spokesperson.

Try this: The sexpert suggests spending time enjoying foreplay to significantly improve your sexual pleasure. “There may be times when penetrative sex is not possible, but you can still have great sex without intercourse,” they share.

Corda also adds that, if you’re worried about your lack of libido, counselling could be key to treating these factors and reviving the pain associated with sex. But in the first instance, it’s important to see your doctor to rule out medical causes first and provide the correct treatment.

9. You may be injured

Did you know? “Painful sex can be a sign of damage from previous sex, such as tearing or soreness,” explains a spokesperson from the Brook Advisory Clinic.

Think about it – you wouldn’t go running if you’d twisted your ankle, so try not to have sex super quickly after a particularly enthusiastic session, as it may have resulted in friction that has left you sore.

10. He may be too big

“Even if you’re well lubricated and fully aroused, you may experience pain if a man inserts his penis too quickly or deeply,” says Evans. “The vagina relaxes as you warm up to having sex, and will open more comfortably if the penis enters slowly. Guiding your partner in at your own pace can really help avoid any pain.”

Try this: She explains that often, having sex doggy style can be painful, so try backing onto the penis at your own pace. The same can be said when going on top. Don’t let your partner to pull you down onto their penis if you suffer from painful sex: instead, she recommends slowly lower yourself, controlling the speed and depth of insertion that is comfortable. Got it?

11. You may have a female health condition like endometriosis

Painful sex is a common symptom for women with endometriosis symptoms, which affect two million women in the UK, making many avoid sex altogether. Up to 50% of women with endometriosis have cited painful intercourse, ranging from sharp, stabbing, needle-like pain to a deep ache. It can feel mild to intense, either during sexual intercourse or up to 24 to 48 hours post-coitally, or both.

As well as endometriosis (when the lining of the uterus grows outside the uterus or is thicker than normal), painful sex can also be caused by fibroids (growths of muscle and tissue inside the uterus) growing close to your vagina or cervix, irritable bowel syndrome and constipation.

Try this: Endometriosis – and its flare ups – are unpredictable, so often it feels like there’s no knowing when they may occur. Some women experience pain throughout the month whereas others only experience it at certain times, likely – but not definitely – related to their menstrual cycle. There is no cure for endometriosis but there are treatments that can help with the pain – do visit your doctor if you fear you may have it.

12. If you’ve just given birth, your vagina may be recovering

Wondering why does sex hurt after just giving birth? FYI, giving birth is a beautiful and emotional thing – but also an emotional and physical challenge, too, and you’ll need to take time to recover afterwards. “Childbirth is a formative experience for any woman, and for some it can be traumatic,” says Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and We-Vibe‘s relationship expert. “Insensitive care practitioners or a difficult or dangerous birth can give rise to a heightened fear of birth, pregnancy, and even sexuality itself. Women who have experienced a traumatic birth often struggle to re-engage with their sexual selves, even when they have recovered physically, and can experience pain with no obvious physical cause,” she explains.

So why exactly is sex painful after giving birth? A number of reasons, from bruising to the vaginal wall is a common reason, explains Downes. “You may also have experienced a tear which will need time to heal completely before you have sex again – doctors recommend at least six weeks but it often takes longer,” she shares.

Why is sex painful? Woman with Legs Raised wearing white shorts lying on bed

13. Your relationship might be under strain

Arguing a lot or working through a stressful patch in your relationship? Ill feeling can actually totally cause painful sex, FYI – it’s a vicious cycle.

“Experiencing emotional pain as a result of conflict within your relationship could lead to painful sex,” says Evans. “Many couples go through an emotional disconnect if one of them is unable to have sex, which in turn can increase the pain levels, thus creating a vicious circle.”

Try this: The sexpert advises that consulting a couples’ counsellor or sex therapist may help – and remember, you are not alone.

14. You could have a hidden health condition

Often painful sex is a sign of a more unusual, difficult to diagnose health issue, explains Evans. Some of the lesser known conditions that could be causing you discomfort during sex include:

  • Lichen Schlerosus – a common condition generally affecting postmenopausal women thought to be linked to an overactive immune system.
  • Vestibulodynia – a condition that makes you feel a burning pain thought to affect 12-15% of women.
  • Vulvodynia – spontaneous burning without an itching sensation.

If you’re worried you have any of the above, do see a doctor.

Is painful sex normal?

Now you’ve read the expert answer to why does sex hurt, we’re sure you’re keen to know if pain during intercourse is actually common. Short answer: yes, but it’s important to see your doctor if sex is painful repeatedly. “It can stop you from enjoying sex or lead to you avoiding sex altogether,” shares Datta – which is not good.

“This can be isolating, affect your mood and cause distress,” she shares. “It could also cause problems in your relationship over time. You may be referred to see a Gynaecologist and we may need to examine and exclude both physical and psychological problems.

Bottom line: pain during sex can be down to a number of different causes. “That’s why sometimes a multi-disciplinary approach is needed to reach an adequate diagnosis and to offer appropriate support,” explains Corda. “This may include psychologists, urologists, gynaecologists, and even dermatologists.”

They’ll be able to allow you to explore the various issues affecting your ability to have or enjoy sex, and your relationship with your partner.

Complete Article HERE!

Fear of Contagion Won’t Depress Our Sex Lives Forever

As we creep back toward normal, what should we do about the rise of sexually transmitted infections?

By Peggy Orenstein and Ina Park

Dr. Hilary Reno’s eyes widened as she scanned the waiting room at the St. Louis County Sexual Health Clinic in Missouri, where she’s the medical director. She was used to seeing a swath of humanity parked in those plastic chairs: middle-aged men secretly screening after a tryst; college students making a post-hookup pit stop; teenagers, fresh in love, testing together before taking the next step. But now, in the spring of 2019, every seat was filled, with more patients leaning up against the walls. “How,” she thought to herself, “can we possibly keep up?”

This week, in its annual S.T.D. Surveillance Report, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirmed what physicians like Dr. Reno already suspected: that 2019, the most recent year for which data was collected, would set a record for reported cases of sexually transmitted infections. In 2018, an estimated one in five Americans had an S.T.I.; that’s about 68 million people. At least 26 million new infections were contracted during 2019 alone. Chlamydia hit an all-time peak — St. Louis, as it happens, has historically led U.S. cities in cases — while gonorrhea and syphilis, along with congenital infections and newborn deaths, were at their highest rates since the early 1990s. The trends for syphilis are particularly striking, given that two decades ago, it was close to elimination.

For a while, it appeared that the pandemic lockdown might unintentionally ease the surging S.T.I. epidemic. While a few holdouts chose to manage their anxiety through sex with strangers rather than stress baking, most people hunkered down, socially and sexually distancing. And it wasn’t just Americans. Studies from Britain, Asia and Australia also found that Covid-19 dampened people’s sexual ardor: About 40 to 60 percent of adults reduced their number of partners; a similar percentage reduced the frequency of sex or abstained altogether. Instead, like everything from cocktail hours to corporate meetings, hookups went online. Tinder saw a record 3 billion swipes on a single day last March. Likewise, from March through May, OkCupid recorded a 700 percent increase in virtual dates.

But fear of contagion and death will depress libido for only so long. Just when quarantine fatigue began eroding sexual restraint, the urgent needs of Covid-19 gutted the country’s fragile infrastructure for S.T.I. control. Two-thirds of public sexual health clinics were forced to cut back their services or shut their doors in 2020, their staffs redeployed to the Covid-19 response — only one of New York City’s eight clinics remained open during the early months of the pandemic. Screenings were eliminated, follow-up of patients and their sex partners reduced.

Contract tracers, too, were reassigned to track coronavirus transmission, so attempts to reconstruct sexual networks — a major tool in reducing the spread of S.T.I.s — plummeted. The result? Delays in diagnosis, scarce access to treatment and the likelihood that we’ll keep racking up those astronomical transmission records, albeit without the same ability to document that it’s happening.

Infection rates are up across lines of race, gender and age (rates among the elderly have notoriously spiked in recent years), influenced in part by drug use, poverty, unstable housing and stigma. The C.D.C. has also cited decreased condom use, especially among gay and bisexual men and young people in general: Over half of new cases in the current report occurred among 15-to-24-year-olds. In fact, it’s one of the arenas in which our country truly excels — We’re No. 1! We’re No. 1! — at least among developed nations in rates of S.T.I.s.

It’s hard to imagine that status changing as the under-25 set is sprung from its Covid captivity. Recall that after the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, the ’20s roared as a generation made up, Gatsby-like, for lost time. Nicholas Christakis, a physician and a professor of sociology at Yale, has already predicted a possible uptick in what he called “sexual licentiousness” by 2024. We wouldn’t be quite so judgy, and what’s more, partying never fully stopped during the pandemic. (Many college campuses were virus hot spots.) Still, it’s certainly plausible that once the masks come off, 21st-century youth will try to compensate for what they’ve missed by doubling down on party and hookup culture.

Their year of relative isolation has meant that much less practice with face-to-face communication, including negotiating intimate encounters and prioritizing safety. Nor, according to Lisa Wade, an associate professor of sociology at Tulane University who has interviewed over a hundred students on sexual behavior during the pandemic, are young adults grasping the connections between the questions they ask to avoid Covid and those they ought to be asking to protect their sexual health. What’s more, she found, even as they’re “extraordinarily compliant” about wearing masks, many do not use condoms, including those with multiple partners.

Those students may be singularly ill prepared to deal with the inevitable aftermath — how could they be, when we’ve failed to do what reputable studies have suggested for decades: provide them with high-quality sex education. That is exactly the solution proposed by the Department of Health and Human Services last year when it issued its first-ever S.T.I. National Strategic Plan for 2021-25. Among the main objectives is to support “a nonstigmatizing, comprehensive approach to sexual health education and sexual well-being, especially in adolescents and young adults.”

Sounds reasonable, right? Yet sex education in this country is still one of the most divisive of issues, ground zero of the culture wars. During that postpandemic heyday of the 1920s, crusaders for contraception were threatened with fines and imprisonment under Comstock laws that labeled their instructional pamphlets as both obscene and encouraging promiscuity. By the 1970s, after the pill and legalized abortion decoupled sex from reproduction — making the notion of waiting until marriage, or even adulthood, obsolete — sex ed became a vector for conservatives’ anxiety about the erosion of traditional matrimony, the rise of women’s rights, the growing acceptance of homosexuality, the potential dismantling of gender itself. In 1979, the Rev. Jerry Falwell created the Moral Majority, a forerunner of today’s far right, in part to combat sex education, which he claimed was “Soviet propaganda.”

That organization was widely credited with helping deliver the presidency to Ronald Reagan. Two years later, Mr. Reagan signed the first law funding programs that promoted abstinence until marriage as the expected standard. More than $2 billion has since been shoveled into the maw of abstinence-only education (more recently rebranded “sexual risk avoidance” education), mostly funding programs that have been proved ineffectual at either delaying vaginal intercourse or reducing risky sexual behavior. You know what does both? Curriculums that are not only comprehensive but also pleasure-based: built on the premise that sexual activity should feel good for everyone involved, rather than casting it as inherently dangerous or wrong.

We get that everyone is sick of hearing about the Dutch, but their version of sexuality education remains the ideal. It starts in kindergarten, though at that age the conversation is about friendship, family and love, not sex. As they progress, students learn about anatomy, reproduction disease prevention, contraception and consent; they also discuss relationships, masturbation, oral sex, orgasm, gender identity and same-sex encounters. (Openly addressing gay sex practices is especially important to avoid marginalization and to reduce the disproportionate S.T.I. rates among men who have sex with men.) Not only do young Dutch women — controlling for demographic differences — report feeling happier than Americans with their early experience, but those who have vaginal intercourse do so later, have fewer partners and are exponentially safer. The rate of gonorrhea among Dutch teenagers in 2006, for instance, was about 14 per 100,000 adolescents, compared with our nearly 459. Their rate of chlamydia was about 150 per 100,000 adolescents; ours was nearly 2,863.

In this country, 39 states and the District of Columbia mandate some form of sex education; 18 dictate that such classes be medically accurate. Maine is the sole state requiring schools to teach actual skills in both communication and “responsible decision-making regarding sexuality.” We’re sure those enlightened Mainers do their best, but it’s really too much to ask for them to be responsible for changing how young people nationwide navigate their sexual relationships.

As for the rest? They’re left to their own devices — literally. A nationally representative survey released in January found that among 18-to-24-year-olds, the most-cited “helpful source of information about how to have sex” with a partner was online pornography. That came out ahead of actually talking to your partner, especially among young men. Now imagine the Venn diagram of that report and the C.D.C. data on the same age group.

Obviously, President Donald Trump was never going to enact his own agency’s S.T.I. plan; his 2021 budget proposal included $75 million funding for those debunked sexual risk avoidance programs while eliminating all evidence-based teenage pregnancy prevention efforts. But maybe the Biden administration will do better, especially given its pledge to revisit its predecessor’s regulations on campus sexual misconduct: Among its other benefits, comprehensive sex education, when combined with instruction in refusal skills, appears to be significantly protective against assault in college.

Once the pandemic is finally behind us, Covid-driven funding for health department infrastructure and contact tracers should be maintained and redirected toward creating robust S.T.I. control programs in every state, including expanding access to publicly funded sexual health services. All of that would be politically contentious, but the alternative is to continue to sacrifice the health of tens of millions of young people: Untreated S.T.I.s can result in pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility and cancer, and increase the risk of acquiring and transmitting H.I.V.

As vice president, Joe Biden helped initiate the It’s on Us campaign, aimed at reducing sexual assault. The administration’s next step should be, again, to reject the politicization of what is, in fact, an urgent health issue (especially in the era of internet access and hookup apps), cast off four decades of damaging abstinence-centered curriculums and adopt a proven, enlightened approach to young people’s education: one that is not exclusively focused on risk and danger, that promotes healthy sexual development and relationships — so we can ensure that, if they do choose to engage, they do so safely, responsibly, ethically and joyfully.

Complete Article HERE!

Growing risks of STIs in the over-45 crowd

By University of Chichester

Over-45s are at a higher risk of contracting STIs than ever before because of society’s unwillingness to talk about middle-aged and older people having sex, a new report has found.

A study undertaken by the University of Chichester, alongside organisations in the UK, Belgium, and Netherlands, revealed negative attitudes and limited knowledge towards the age group’s needs is associated with a generation unaware of the dangers of unprotected intercourse.

It also found that over-45s living in socially and economically-disadvantaged areas are at particularly risk of contracting sexually-transmitted infections with little awareness of available services and limited access to doctors and nurses.

The report is part of the SHIFT project: a three-year initiative which aims to develop a training model that can be used by professionals working in healthcare to improve the sexual health and wellbeing of middle-aged and older people across the UK and Europe.

University of Chichester senior lecturer Dr. Ian Tyndall, who is leading the project’s evaluation, said that major changes in in recent decades has seen increasing numbers of sexually active older-people.

“Over-45s at most risk are generally those entering new relationships after a period of monogamy, often post-menopause, when pregnancy is no longer a consideration, but give little thought to STIs,” he added. “Given improvements in life expectancy, sexual healthcare needs to improve its intervention for older adults and vulnerable groups to provide a more utilised, knowledgeable, compassionate, and effective service.”

The three-year SHIFT study was launched in 2019. Following a 2.5million grant from the EU Interreg 2Seas programme, its intention is to address growing rates of STIs in over-45s and improve engagement of older people in sexual health services, including those facing socioeconomic disadvantage.

The latest SHIFT report included around 800 participants across the south coast of England and northern regions of Belgium and the Netherlands, nearly 200 of which face socioeconomic disadvantage. Initial findings have highlighted four critical areas where, the researchers believe, an intervention can address the gaps in current healthcare provision: awareness, access, knowledge, and stigma.

  • Awareness: The results showed that a significant number of participants were unaware of the risks of STI, while 46 per cent did not know the location of their nearest healthcare centre. Researchers did, however, find that social media was the most effective tool for encouraging engagement with sexual health services—ahead of leaflets or GP appointments.
  • Knowledge: The participants highlighted that their health professionals, including doctors and nurses, lacked sufficient sexual health knowledge—and consequently only half had a recent STI test. There is therefore an “urgent need” to create a tailored training programme to increase understanding in the wider healthcare workforce, the researchers wrote.
  • Stigma: Shame was identified as the biggest barrier to accessing sexual healthcare services, according to the report. A number of participants felt that sexual health has become a “dirty” term which is discouraging people from attending regular check-ups.
  • Access: Limited information around the location of sexual health centres and restricted opening times were a consistent problem for many participants. Others living in more rural locations also mentioned that growing costs of public transport was a barrier to appointments.

Fellow SHIFT researcher Dr. Ruth Lowry added: “It is clear from the numbers reporting fear of being judged by important others who know them and by health professionals that stigma remains a crucial barrier to address in any sexual health promotion intervention.

“The findings have also shown that groups with one or more socio-economic disadvantages, such as homeless people, sex workers, non-native language speakers and migrants, are at even greater risk of being unaware of their sexual and unable to access the appropriate services.”

The SHIFT partners intend to have an effective intervention ready by 2021, after which it will be rolled out to healthcare professionals, with the research published in 2022. It intends to reach as many as 150,000 people across the south coast of the UK, France, Belgium, and the Netherlands.

The survey was distributed prior to the Covid-19 pandemic, while focus groups and interviews are taking place via video calls to navigate restrictions in jurisdictions across participating countries.

To find out more about the SHIFT project go to http://www.interreg2seas.eu/en/shift.

Complete Article HERE!

How to talk about STI status with your sexual partner

By

  • Talking about STIs with a new sexual partner can feel uncomfortable because it’s not something we were taught to do, but the conversation is essential for your health.
  • First consider what type of confirmation you need from your partner, whether it’s their word or written documentation. Then, be straightforward in asking.
  • You should also consider how often you should revisit the topic, especially if you and your new partner aren’t exclusive. 
  • This story is part of a series tackling sex education for adults, making it more inclusive, informative, and shame-free.

When you’re in the heat of the moment with a new partner, discussing the last time you got tested for sexually transmitted diseases isn’t likely at the top of your mind.

But having this discussion with every regular partner you have will make your sex life safer and more carefree.

If left untreated, STIs can lead to health complications like infertility, organ damage, cancer, or death, according to the Mayo Clinic. And if you unknowingly contract an STI, you could pass it to another sex partner.

That’s why it’s never too soon to discuss STD status with a new sexual partner, according to New York City-based therapist Rachel Wright who recently launched a sex-ed workshop series for adults. In fact, the sooner, the better.

Ask yourself: What do I need to feel safe?

Before approaching your new boo, you should figure out exactly what you need from them to feel safe enough to have sex, Wright said.

For some folks, taking a sexual partner at their word is enough to proceed. But for someone else, seeing documentation from a partner’s most recent STD exam may make them more comfortable about sex.

Whatever you need is valid, and “everybody’s all over the spectrum, so we need to know that about ourselves first so that we know what to ask for,” Wright told Insider.

Schedule a time to talk, ideally before you have sex

Next, it’s time to alert your partner that you want to chat. Ideally, you should have this conversation before you have sex with a new partner for the first time.

You shouldn’t immediately dive into the conversation, but instead say, “Hey, I would love to find 15 minutes for us to sit down and have a discussion about STIs,” Wright said.

Though it can feel uncomfortable to be so straightforward if you’ve never broached the topic before, the more you assert yourself, the more natural it will feel, according to Wright.

“The more overt you can be, it’s so much less awkward. It’s less awkward than skirting around it,” she said, adding that it only feels uncomfortable because most people were never taught how to discuss sexually transmitted diseases or infections.

Keep emotions out of it

When you launch into discussing STI status, you don’t need to define your relationship or bring emotions into the situation, said Wright, because it’s a conversation about sexual health and nothing more.

Instead, frame it as, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you so far, and we don’t need to have a relationship-status conversation. But I’d like to know if there are other people in your life, for STI reasons. Am I at risk for any exposure?” said Wright.

This framing also keeps the conversation open, so if you or your sexual partner see other people, you’ll both feel inclined to share since you created space for these conversations early on in your relationship, according to Wright.

You should also take this time to share your own STI testing and status.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

The Answer to Your 15 Most Embarrassing Sex Questions

You’re welcome.

By

Sex is confusing. There are SO MANY aspects to it and so many things to consider before, during, and after engaging in it. Chances are, whether you’re about to embark on your first experience with sex, or you’ve done it multiple times, you probably still have a ton of questions. What’s sex really like? Are condoms 100% effective? Does it hurt the first time? Read on for real answers and advice on hooking up, your first time, how to know you’re ready, and more!

Q: The other day my partner and I were hooking up, and they put their fingers inside my vagina. I was really surprised and didn’t expect them to do it, but I let them anyway. While they was doing it, it started to hurt, so I told them to stop. Is this normal?

A: What you felt is totally normal. Vaginas are sensitive and need to be treated VERY gently. More importantly, though, your partner should not be surprising you like this. If you and your partner want to get more physically intimate that needs to be a mutual decision—not something that they decide on their own. If this is not a step you are comfortable with, let them know. Tell them, “I really like you, but I’m just not ready for this.” If they have a problem with waiting, you may want to reconsider the relationship because they should always be asking for consent as you start to get more intimate with one another.

Q. How painful is sex the first time?

A. It varies. For some people, there’s no pain whatsoever; for others, sex can be uncomfortable. Some feel discomfort when the hymen stretches or tears, which can cause a little bleeding. Sometimes you may not be aroused (or you’re feeling nervous) so your vagina won’t be lubricated enough for a comfortable experience. Lubricated condoms can help. And of course, couples should always use a condom every time they have sex to protect against unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Sometimes it’ll be uncomfortable for the first few tries, and then it will start to feel better. In general, though, if you’re experiencing a lot of pain during sex, talk to your doctor.

Q: Everyone says that sex is fun and that it feels good. I’m a virgin and curious—is that really true?

A: Yes, sex can be fun and feel good, but it’s not true that sex just “feels good” across the board and in any situation. It’s impossible to separate the act of sex from the person you’re doing it with—or the person you are. If you’re not ready to have sex, or you’re doing it in the wrong relationship or with the wrong person, you’ll be worrying about it way too much to enjoy it. But if you feel totally comfortable and cared about, and sex is something that you truly feel ready for, then yes, it can be an amazing experience! With that said, for some people it can still be a little painful or awkward the first time, and that’s totally normal too. There’s a lot of pressure and it might take you a few times to figure out what you and your partner enjoy.

Q. How do you know when you’re really ready to have sex?

A. Sex is very intimate. It’s not just physical, it can be emotional too. It’s normal for teens to have strong sexual feelings, but it doesn’t always mean you have to act on them. You can feel physically ready for sex but not be in the right relationship for any number of reasons. Because having sex can be so emotionally powerful, it’s easy to get hurt. Sex is only part of a relationship. Other important things—like trust and mutual respect—need to be in place too. Finally, for all its magic, sex can have downsides, such as an unplanned pregnancy or STD, so make sure you’re protecting yourself against those.

Q: Is it better to shave off all your pubic hair or to keep most of it and trim it?

A: The best thing to do with your pubes is…whatever you want! Seriously, they are yours, so the ultimate decision is up to you. Just like you don’t dress in exactly the same clothes as your friends, you don’t have to keep your pubes exactly how they have them either. There is no right or wrong here—it’s all about how you feel comfortable. And if you’re worried about what your partner is going to think, know this: Being comfortable with your body is going to feel so much better than what your pubes look like. So trim or shave them or leave them as is (because body hair is natural)—however you prefer. And if you do decide you want to remove some of the hair, get tips about shaving down there here.

Q: My partner and I have been talking about having sex, but I’m really nervous. I’m afraid something will go wrong.

A: Sex shouldn’t hurt too much the first time, but it certainly can hurt a lot if you’re not really ready for it. Being nervous can cause you to clench up your muscles, and if you and your partner haven’t worked up to intercourse by making out and touching each other first, your body won’t be aroused—and that can make things pretty uncomfortable. But here’s the thing: If you’re really scared about doing it, like you say you are, then it doesn’t sound like you’re truly ready. Having sex is a big responsibility because yes, there is always a chance something could go awry. Even if you use protection, the condom could break, and no birth control is 100% foolproof. There can be the risk of STDs, as well. You have every right to feel freaked about that and not want to risk it! But when you’re really ready for it, you’ll feel excited and safe…like the way you feel before a rollercoaster—good scared, not bad scared.

Q: My significant other and I have been going out for almost nine months now and have only gotten to third base. Is this normal? Should I let them do more?

A: Deciding to take any kind of sexual step should be a mutual decision—not something that you do just because your partner wants to—so there is nothing wrong with taking things as slow as you need to. (This may mean dating someone for months or even years without ever having sex!) If you enjoy hooking up and doing things other than sex, then keep doing that. It’s totally normal. A lot of people like to work up to sex by experiencing the other bases first. And if you do at any point want to have sex, just be sure that you’re doing it because you really want to, not because you feel like you should. There’s no magic amount of time to be in a relationship where all of the sudden you need to have sex with a partner. Take your time, and wait until you’re truly comfortable.

Q: My partner is pressuring me to have sex. How do I know if they’re is just using me?

A: Sometimes in relationships one person is ready to have sex but the other isn’t. This can be stressful because you don’t want to compromise what you’re not ready for or what you believe. You need to do what is right for you. Anyone who tries to pressure you into having sex isn’t really thinking about what matters most to you. People who pressure others into having sex are only looking to satisfy their own feelings and urges about sex. If you feel pressure to have sex because you’re afraid of losing your significant other, it may be a sign that you’re not in the right relationship. Sex isn’t something you should feel you must do. Relationships are meant to be fun for both people. They should make you feel appreciated, respected, and supported, not pressured or uncomfortable. If your partner truly cares about you, they won’t pressure you to do something you don’t believe in or aren’t ready for. So talk with them about how you feel. If they’re the right person for you, they’ll understand.

Q. I always hear my friends talking about having sex with their boyfriends, but I want to have sex with my girlfriend. If I have sex with a girl, what technically counts as sex?

A: Sex is about trust, respect and intimacy, so there are a bunch of different ways that you can have sex. Oral sex or sex with a toy is something that two partners can share, as well as ~outercourse~ techniques like fingering and mutual masturbation. Sex with a same sex partner most definitely counts as sex. You can read more about what counts as sex here.

Q. If I have sex with a girl, am I technically losing my virginity?

A: Virginity is a fraught topic because of how differently it’s handled when it comes to guys and girls. Guys are encouraged to get their virginity over with. Meanwhile, girls are told that virginity is a gift that you need to hold onto, that it’s some kind of commodity and that you’re “losing” something once you have sex for the first time. Virginity is yours and yours alone, and you choose what to do with it. Sex is about intense intimacy with another human being, so you can “lose your virginity” in a number of ways

Q. What’s an orgasm, exactly, and how do I know if I’ve had one?

A: An orgasm is an intense, pleasurable physical feeling that can occur during sex or masturbation. Like many feelings, orgasms are difficult to describe. Orgasms vary from person to person, and can be different for the same person at different times. Some are more subtle, while others are very powerful. A person’s heart beats faster, breathing gets quicker, and muscles in the pelvis contract and then suddenly relax with a wave of feeling that can be pleasurable and, for many people, emotional.

Q. I’m ready to have sex but I don’t know if my S.O. is. How do I bring it up? What should I say?

A: It’s great that you’re thinking about this ahead of time. When it comes to sex, there are lots of issues to think about, such as how sex could affect your relationship, what happens if you get pregnant, and how you can prevent STDs. Sometimes people avoid talking about these important issues because they’re embarrassed, they don’t know how, or they think it will make the mood less romantic. But you need to talk about these topics ahead of time. If you think you’re ready to take this step in your relationship, you should be able to talk to your partner about your interests and concerns. If they’re not receptive, it might not be the right time or the right person.

Q. What’s the deal with masturbating? I feel so guilty doing it or talking to my friends about it. Is it dirty, or bad for you?

A. Lots of people have heard all sorts of myths and misinformation about masturbation. Some worry that masturbation may cause health or emotional problems—but that’s not true. It’s normal for teens to masturbate. If someone is masturbating so much that it interferes with their daily life, that could be a problem, though. Masturbation is often considered a private topic and some people may feel embarrassed to think or ask about it. And when you’re too embarrassed to talk about something, you might hear and believe things that aren’t accurate. If you have concerns or questions about masturbation, have a conversation with your doctor, nurse, or other health counselor—any question you may have, I’m sure they’ve heard it before.

Q. If my S.O. and I just have oral sex, I can’t get pregnant, right?

A. You can’t get pregnant from oral or anal sex alone. For people to get pregnant, sperm has to get into a vagina—and eventually make its way up through the cervix into the uterus—and this can’t happen physically with oral or anal sex. However, if a couple has anal sex and some of the sperm ends up near the opening to the vagina, there is a chance of pregnancy. Although you can’t get pregnant from oral and anal sex, you can still get STDs like herpes and HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). So if you’re having oral or anal sex, it’s still important to use protection.

Q. I want to start using birth control but I don’t want to tell my parents I’m having sex. Where/how can I get it without them finding out?

A: It can be difficult talking to parents about having sex. But surprisingly, many parents are receptive to discussing sex and birth control. Still, if you can’t talk to your parents, there is a lot you can do. If you are interested in finding out your birth control options and getting sexual health care, your first step should be to set up an appointment with your health professional (pediatrician, gynecologist, adolescent medicine doctor, or other health provider). You can tell you parents you have a cold or something, and then when the door is closed you can get real with your doctor about the nature of your visit. Don’t be afraid to discuss birth control with your doctor. Thanks to doctor-patient confidentiality, your doc can’t spill about the Pill to your parents without your permission.

Another option is making an appointment at your local Planned Parenthood, free clinic, or at your student health center if you’re in college. The Pill is covered by most health insurance plans, but that may not be an easy option if you are on your parents’ plan. The Pill can cost anywhere from $20 to $50 a month, depending on type, and this may be something you can afford without having to go through insurance. Just remember that if you do go on the Pill, it’s not a free pass to unprotected sex. You should still make sure your partner always wears a condom, but luckily there are a ton of places for you to score free condoms.

Complete Article HERE!

Overcoming intimacy challenges after 50

By Julie Pfitzinger

Confidence: “The quality or state of being certain.” That’s the Merriam-Webster definition, but for many people who are starting to date again after 50, confidence can falter and it can be difficult to be certain about anything.

For those who have lost a spouse or partner to death, divorce or a break-up, a feeling of being vulnerable may begin to settle in, leading to concerns about finding intimacy, as well as about when and how to fully open up to another person.

In the Dating After 50 series on Next Avenue, we’ve covered several topics including online dating and dating etiquette, which have provided tips and suggestions for the “how” on ways to start dating again.

But there’s another kind of how — how to make yourself emotionally, and physically, available to someone new. Taking a risk to share yourself and everything you have to offer at this stage of your life. Accepting and acknowledging what potential partners are offering you. Being confident about what will happen next. And knowing that even though it might not be easy, you are certain that you are genuinely ready to find fulfillment and happiness with another person.

Are You Ready to Move On?

Experts like Lisa Copeland, an author, speaker and dating coach in her fifties, say the first step to tackling that feeling of vulnerability and to start building confidence is to properly grieve the end of a marriage or relationship, whether through a break-up, divorce or death, before you even think about moving on.

For those who have divorced, Copeland says the best way to tell if you are truly ready to date is to gauge if “you’re feeling fairly neutral about your former partner.” She notes, “If you don’t feel that way yet, you are going to bring that [experience] right into the new relationship.”

The situation is different for widows or widowers. “If they had a good marriage, they are wanting to repeat the same relationship with a different person,” Copeland says. The lost spouse is also often brought into a new relationship, but that person frequently becomes “like a saint,” she says, which can be counterproductive to establishing an authentic connection with another person.

Before opening yourself up to dating, start by building a new social circle. The first step, says Copeland, is “to get out of the house.”

“Make friends. Take classes. Get involved with activities. When you are involved in doing things you love, you will light up,” she explains.

Taking that first step to put yourself out there can be uncomfortable. Copeland is a big fan of Meetups, which she says are “an amazing way to connect with others.” In her view, going into a Meetup gathering with a mindset of simply making new friends is best.

“If you meet someone, that’s just a bonus,” she says.

Different Ideas About Sex

Fast forward a bit: You’ve met someone, the two of you have found common ground and the relationship is progressing well. But what comes next could produce the biggest crisis of confidence you’ve had, well, in years: the thought of a sexual relationship.

“People often approach sex with very different ideas,” says writer and speaker Walker Thornton, who is in her 60s and the author of Inviting Desire: A Guide for Women Who Want to Enhance Their Sex Life. “The basic question most everyone starts with is: ‘Am I going to get naked with this person? And then what do I do?’”

The first roadblock is often body image, which Thornton says is typically more of an issue for women than men, although men are definitely not immune to concerns.

“Women are more concerned about sags and folds,” she says. “But men are worried about getting an erection or about satisfying a woman.”

When it comes to sex, Thornton encourages women “to share the valuable information” they have about what they like and don’t like with a partner.

“What we desired at thirty is different from what we desire at fifty,” she says, adding that she understands that for many women, the conversation about likes and dislikes is uncomfortable.

“But if you can’t even ask [a partner] about sex, how are you going to do it?” Thornton wonders.

The Myth of STDs and STIs

One particular conversation that is vitally important is around the topic of STDs and STIs, explains Thornton, and it really is non-negotiable.

“Here’s the simplest way to couch that conversation: I care about your health, so I will be tested. If you care about my health, I ask you to do the same,” she says. “Offer to send him or her a copy of your test results and ask them to send theirs in return.”

The conversation shouldn’t stop there. Thornton goes on to say that if a partner is unwilling to use a condom, for example, “they aren’t showing you that they respect your health and well-being.” If that is the case, Thornton says, “be prepared to say ‘No’ to sex, and say that this refusal makes you question their commitment to being in a relationship.”

It’s a myth that older adults don’t get STDs or STIs such as syphilis and gonorrhea; condoms can protect from genital herpes, which while not life-threatening, can be very uncomfortable and more so for women than men, says Thornton.

Make a List of What You Need

Other health issues may also come into play in sexual relationships between older adults. “Sometimes, you have to broaden your definition of sex,” says Thornton. “Focusing on pleasure, in ways inclusive of orgasm or not.”

Chronic illness can be an issue, as can cancer treatment, which often results in hormonal changes; other challenges may include fatigue or muscle/movement problems. “That can lead to a discussion about a time of day that’s better for sex, or accommodations that are needed for a bed,” explains Thornton. “Again, the best way to address all of these issues is through conversation.”

Thornton, who most frequently speaks to groups of women, often suggests making a list of just what you are looking for when it comes to a sexual relationship in midlife and beyond.

“If you have sex with someone, do you anticipate that this will be an exclusive relationship? Or if your partner decides he or she doesn’t want a sexual relationship, is that okay? Maybe it is,” says Thornton. “For you, is sex merely a goal or a natural progression of becoming intimate with another person?”

‘You Have More Freedom’

Copeland, who has been divorced twice and is now in a relationship, says there is often healing to be done before people are ready to fully open themselves up to a new person. Still, she adds, it’s vital “to know your value and know that you are worthy of someone.”

“One thing that’s often overlooked when it comes to dating after fifty is that you have more choices. You have more freedom than you did when you were younger,” she says. “You can have companions or lovers, or be in a committed relationship.”

However, Thornton — also divorced and in a relationship — understands how some might not perceive this place in life as a place of freedom.

“If we think our time is limited, we can feel more vulnerable,” she says. “But it’s really all about going into dating with an open attitude. Be willing to take the risk.”