Category Archives: Health Concerns

Down, but not out

Name: Roger
Gender: Male
Age: 70s
Location: Saugatuck Michigan
Hi– linked to your very interesting site via Allkink. My question: last year I underwent radiation on my prostate; it was enlarged and had cancer cells. Apparently it did the job, since my PSA is way down and the Dr. says I’ve shrunk, and am healthy otherwise. But since then I am almost totally impotent (don’t get erect when I want to, though sometimes get semi-erect at random times). I can still orgasm, but don’t ejaculate; sometimes a little clear fluid dribbles out afterwards. Curiously, I could still ejaculate during and right after the radiation treatments, but not now. Also in general a noticeable decrease in libido. Needless to say, very annoying.

I’m gay, solo, in my 70s, celibate since mid-1980s when I tested HIV-, and a dedicated bottom. I knew I was at risk, and “safe-sex” just didn’t turn me on. I’ve been using dildos of all sizes for years. Now, insertion has become a little painful (kinda stings, like the first times way back when), but after several tries they go in OK. Those of larger girth or not-very-smooth texture are really difficult, and I’ve pretty much given up on them (though “John Holmes” still works!). There is occasionally a little blood on the dildo afterwards, but bleeding doesn’t persist, and Dr. says I have no hemorrhoid. The radiologist did warn me that the treatment might produce scar tissue in the colon. Is that a possibility?

I hate to think that I ought to give up altogether on my little pleasures, but would welcome you advice/opinion. I haven’t discussed this with my urologist, whom I don’t know very well, but did bring it up with my (female) GP, who didn’t seem overly concerned and merely suggested lots of lube, which was not news to me.PMB110

Wow, Roger, that was a mouthful. I am so delighted that you wrote in. I love hearing from folks in their 60’s 70’s and 80’s who are still enjoying a rich and fulfilling sex life, even if it is by themselves. I am of the mind that self-pleasuring can be some of the most rewarding sex available to a person at any age. And nowadays, with all the amazing sex toys on the market, one can enjoy solitary sexual pleasure like never before.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about prostate issues including the aftermath of cancer treatments. May I suggest that you take a look at the CATEGORY section on the sidebar of my site? There you will find a category labeled “Health Concerns.” There are subcategories for “Anal Fissures,”  and one for “Prostatectomy.”  I realize that you haven’t had a radical prostatectomy, but your situation is very similar to those men who have. If you click on either of those two subcategories you will find loads of useful information in both written and podcasts form.

In the meantime, let me see if I can address some of your questions in a nutshell. You ask about possible scar tissue from radiation therapy. The short answer is; yes, scar tissue is possible, even probable. And as we all know scar tissue is not nearly as pliable as regular tissue. Scar tissue also MR01034has fewer nerve ending than normal tissue. You could be injuring yourself without even knowing it since the sensations in your ass are considerably less then they once were. I’d be willing to guess that this might be the source of the bleeding you report. Maybe you need to retire the really big toys, like the John Holmes, and enjoy something more modest for the time being. Another suggestion is to try an inflatable dildo.  or a smaller insertable that vibrates.  There are several on the market. You can find several in My Stockroom. The advantage to something like the inflatable dildo is that you could insert something relatively narrow  and inflate to a larger size once inside. This would avoid ramming a big dildo in bum from the get go. And a vibrating insertable would add stimulation without the length or girth.E477

As to your erection issues; yeah, I hear ya. Aging alone will take its toll on the hydraulics that give us wood. When you couple that with the trauma of invasive surgery and/or radiation therapy, well it’s no wonder stiffies elude us. I tell the men that I see in my private practice, who are similarly challenged as you, to use a cock ring  to assist in getting the best boner possible under the circumstances. A penis pump works pretty well too, if you want to go the distance.  I have lots more to say about these devices if you care to hear about it.

C923Also, several men I know with erection concerns are taking a cue from the women folk and employing a vibrator in their sex play. There are the insertable kind, as I’ve already mentioned, and there are external ones too. Have you given this option a thought? The extra stimulation a vibrator can produce will increase blood flow and thus a more substantial boner. I have a whole lot more to say about this too if you care to write to me for that information.

In the end, it will be desire that will continue to propel you to further enjoy yourself and the pleasures your body has to offer. I wish you continued lust and many more years of healthy and life-affirming sexuality.

Good luck

This is gonna hurt!

Name: Annie
Gender: Female
Age: 23
Location: Miami
Dr. Dick, My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about a year now. He is the first uncircumcised male I have been with. I’ve noticed that lately, it feels like he’s tearing my vaginal opening. He pulls his foreskin forward to lessen the pain, but it still hurts. While examining his penis looking for an answer, I noticed he has a very common condition in uncircumcised males called ‘pearly penile papules’. The papules are rough to the touch in comparison the rest of the phallus. Could this be the cause of my sex woes? Thanks so much!

I’m having a difficult time putting two and two together here, my dear. The painful fucking you describe; this is a new phenomenon, right? You say that even when he pulls his foreskin over his dickhead, you still experience pain when he enters you, is that correct?

See, that’s where I’m having a problem understanding what’s going on. If his foreskin is covering his dickhead, and thus the papules, how could they continue to be an irritant? Surely, you can’t feel the papules through his foreskin, can you? If you can, maybe we’re not dealing with pearly papules.

lovers0147Listen, I know a lot of men who have developed pearly penile papules. Some of these men have mistaken them for genital warts or sign of another STD/SDI, but they are not.

All men are susceptible to these buggers. But interestingly enough, they are more common in younger uncut black guys. They are small, hard, white, pinhead sized bumps that appear on a dude’s dickhead. They are neither painful, nor are they a sign of disease. And they are not contracted or spread through sexual activity.

If a guy has them, he should LEAVE THEM THE FUCK ALONE. Don’t try to squeeze or pop them. If you break the skin doing this, you will leave yourself vulnerable to other more serious infections. Pearly penile papules are harmless and are simply part of maturing. Thy often disappear on their own later in life.

Allow me to repeat myself. Since this is such a common thing in younger men, I can’t see how this is the cause of your discomfort during sex. Either your man has something other than pearly penile papules, or your discomfort comes from another source.

Let me ask you this. When you masturbate, do you insert anything in your pussy? If you don’t maybe that’s a good place to begin to get to the bottom of this mystery. If you can insert a couple of fingers or a dildo into your vagina without discomfort, then we’ll have more information to work with.

If, however, you experience pain in your solo play, then you have something goin on in your pussy that needs immediate attention. You could have an infection or vaginismus.painful-intercoursejr

Do you know what that is? Vaginismus is caused by the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles, especially the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group. This will cause discomfort, burning, and painful penetration. That sure sounds like what’s goin on with you, right?

Not to worry, vaginismus is easily treatable. Treatments include a combination of kegel exercises and insertion or dilation training. Why not get back to me with your thoughts on this.

Good luck

Too pooped to pop

Name: Djon
Gender: Male
Age: 54
Location:
I’m a 54-year-old man, who 3 years ago managed to finally come out and live the life I so desperately longed for all my life. My question — is there a biological clock in men like the issues women have to deal with in menopause. During the last years of my marriage there was no sex life other than with myself. Now I’m living a fantastic life, with a great man who I love very much. I know there is more to life than sex but now that I’m finally able to express myself physically with a man my ability to perform is just not working.

I’ve tried Viagra and such years ago. They used to work in maintaining an erection, it was just by myself, but I always had fun. The headache’s and discomforts from the meds bring up the question — do I really want to take this?

But now the med’s don’t even help, and as for my libido it suffers with my lack of ability. I’ve been tested for testosterone levels and they say I’m right where I should be at for my age. I’ve seen two doctors about the issue and when they find out my partner’s sex they don’t want to deal with it and seem to just pass it off as an age thing.

I’m in fairly decent good shape, I exercise 3 – 4 days a week at the gym, can you send me any advice on a path to take.

A little frustrated: Djon

A little frustrated? Holy cow, darlin’, you sound a lot frustrated. I don’t blame ya. You finally find what’s been missing throughout your whole life only to discover that your plumbing is now givin’ out on you. Ain’t that a bitch! And before I continue I want to tell you and all the other alternative lifestyle people in my audience, don’t settle for a sex-negative physician no matter what. Dion, find yourself a sex-positive doctor that will look beyond your choice of partner and give you the respect you deserve! Damn, I hate shit like that.

andropause2258You raise an interesting question about the aging process when you ask if men experience something similar to menopause in women. The short answer is — yeah, you betcha! In fact, it even has a name; andropause.  I’ve written and spoken extensively about this very subject. Here’s what I want you to do. Look for the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar, look for the category — AGING. There you will find everything I’ve written and said about Andropause, and Sex and Aging.

You’ll find a whole lot more information there than I can put together for you in this posting. However, I can offer you an overview. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has started to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels have on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

And listen, when a physician says that your testosterone level falls within an acceptable range, he/she isn’t telling you much. Let’s just say you had an elevated level of testosterone all your life, till now. Let’s say that you now register on the lower end of “acceptable”. That would mean that you’ve had a significant loss in testosterone. But your doctor wouldn’t know that, because he has no baseline for your normal testosterone level to begin with.andropause

There is no doubt that a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

Andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Just know that most medical professionals, like yours, Dion, resist testosterone therapy. Some mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. I encourage you to be fully informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, your new sex positive doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

Finally, getting the lead back in your pencil, so to speak, may simply be an issue of taking more time with arousal play. Don’t expect to go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds like you once did. Also, use a cockring.  But most of all, fuckin’ relax, why don’t cha already. Your anxiety is short-circuiting your wood, my friend. And only you can stop that.

Good luck

Never too old

Hey sex fans!

Before we get to today’s Q&A, I have two announcements. First, allow me to introduce you to my new Tumblr site: SEx AdViCe wITH An EDGe. It’s deliciously smutty, don’t cha know. Second, podcasts will resume this coming Monday with a remarkable guest, erotic filmmaker, Kyle Henry.

Alrighty, now to my correspondent.

Name: Macwinhar
Gender: Male (I’m gonna guess)
Age:
Location:
DR. DICK, We have been together almost 25 years. I feel like we need to spice it up. He has had some health issues with knee replacements. He feels he is not a good top any longer. But for me is, that is not the issue. It is not about the topping as is about the intimacy. I am not sure what to do? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sexual boredom often sets in to long-term relationships. And the health issues that accompany the aging process can also throw a wrench in the sexual works, so to speak. These challenges can either be an opportunity for some creative problem solving or they can completely extinguish sexual interest all together.andropause3

I’m disappointed in you, sir! You suggest in your message that butt fuckin’ is the only sexual expression open to you fellas. Surely, you can be a bit more resourceful than that. Have you taken the time to check in with your partner lately to inquire about his sexual needs and desires? If not, I suggest you begin the rehabilitation of your sexual mojo there.

Let me ask you a few pointed questions. Could you guys invite a third party to join you as a periodic sexual playmate? Ya know what they say; “Twosies beat onesies, but nothing be threes.”

How about a little role-playing, a new sex toy, or something kinky, maybe some BDSM perhaps. It’s easy to lose interest in sex when the play is boring, repetitive and ho-hum.

Here’s what I want you guys to do, and I do mean both of you. I want you to mozie on over to my online sex emporium and pick out something new and interesting. Look for the MY STOCKROOM banner in the sidebar for access to this great resource. I want you to pick something for him and I want him to pick something for you.

sexy daddiesI’ve put together a dazzling array of products that will liven up even the most humdrum sex life. Pay particular attention to the COUPLES section of My Stockroom. You’ll find loads of interesting things for couples of every stripe.

Still not sure what to buy? Take a look at my ever so popular adult product review site, Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

There are several sex manuals available in MY STOCKROOM, and even more elsewhere online. You could consult one of them for ideas if you can’t tap into your own god-given queer creativity.

Just in case this hasn’t crossed your mind, us men folk go through physiological and hormonal changes in midlife, just like women do. There’s even a name for it — andropause — the male menopause as it were. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/ As we age, both women and men need more time and stimulation to get aroused. So keep that in mind as you shop for your new sexual accessories. Look for things that will enhance and extend the arousal phase of sex play.sexy daddies 02

Increased focus on sensuality, intimacy, and communication will help a sexual relationship stay rich and rewarding even well into one’s senior years. If you’re not talking to you partner about the issues as they arise; you are missing an opportunity to course-correct at the most beneficial time, while the issue is front and center. Need some help communicating? Why not connect with a sex-positive therapist in your area for a little refresher course.

If your old man is avoiding butt fucking because of his knees, you guys might consider trying a new position, one that won’t involve him being on his knees. Look for my tutorial on sex positions: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All! And if that don’t solve your problem, there are still many ways of expressing his ardor that don’t involve his knees. How about some sensual massage, erotic bondage, or some good old-fashioned mutual masturbation with a swell new sex toy like the Fleshlight?

Remember sex oughta be an adventure even for an old “married” couple like you guys. If you don’t take all the opportunities to make things adventurous as they present themselves, you will find that these opportunities will simply vanish. And you’ll be shit out of luck then, darlin’.

Good Luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Whoa, Big Fella!

Hey sex fans!

Welcome to this our latest edition of Product Review Friday. Today we welcome yet another innovative company to our review effort. Join me in saying hello to the Canadian company, BodiSpa. You’ll be seeing several more products from them in coming weeks, but today Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin & Gina are here with our first review.

Let’s go see what they’re up to, shall we?

The Almighty —— $169.95

Kevin & Gina
Gina: “Here’s a little known fact: I’m a massage therapist. Actually, I’ve been practicing massage and bodywork for over five years, it’s just that I haven’t identified myself as such in this venue.”Almighty2
Kevin: “I tell you this woman has the most talented hands! I have been on the receiving end of her miraculous touch for years now. I am like putty in her hands.”
Gina: “Oh, that’s so sweet! Thank you for that. I am super proud of my talent and, this might come as a surprise, I have my grandmother to thank for this gift. My mother suffered from migraine headaches and my grandmother was able to relieve most of her suffering with head and neck massages. She taught me the power of therapeutic touch.”
Kevin: “It’s amazing to think that this healing talent is locked up in all of us. Gina has been kind enough to pass on some of her techniques to me and now I can make a cuddle session on the couch a way of relieving her stress.”
Gina: “He’s awesome! But wait, we’re not here to talk about my skill set, we’re here to introduce you to a truly amazing instrument of pleasure and therapy. This giant is called Almighty. And it is aptly named too. I say giant, because this wand-type, hot/cold massager is a whopping 16.5” tall. Its ergonomically shaped head is 4” wide and it weighs in at almost 3 pounds. It’s a monster with a long, cordless handle.”
Kevin: “The Almighty is not a toy, nor is it specifically for sex. In fact, I had to check with Dr Dick about this. ‘How did you score this thing? It’s not really a sex toy, now is it?’ He assured me that the BodiSpa people knew we did sex toy reviews and they wanted to have our take on it.”
Gina: “As soon as I held the Almighty in my hands for the first time, I knew it was something special. I immediately knew that I would be able to incorporate the Almighty into my massage practice. It’s that good. Why, this vibrator is so strong that you can use it through clothing, which is wonderful, because some of my clients come to me only for a neck and shoulder massage and they don’t get undressed for it.”
Kevin: “There are so many wonderful features to the Almighty. It is made of ABS, a super durable plastic, which is phthalate free. It is beautifully designed to last. Gina mentioned earlier that it is cordless. In other words, it’s rechargeable.”almighty
Gina: “The thing that won my heart is the Almighty not only delivers two speeds of deep and penetrating vibrations, it also heats up or cools down depending on your preference. You see, there is a metal plate in the head of the massager and this is what delivers the heat and cooling. This feature further extends the therapeutic nature of the vibrations. Think about it, 104-122 degrees Fahrenheit of warmth to relieve arthritis and other joint and muscle pain. And 50-59 degrees Fahrenheit of chilling power to reduce muscle spasms and swelling. Both the vibration speed and the hot/cold intensity are regulated with easy-to-use dials in the handle.”
Kevin: “Speaking of swelling, and since this is sex toy review, the Almighty is brilliant at making my cock swell and my balls tingle, as well as making Gina’s pussy tingle and her clit engorge. So there’s that.”
Gina: “Thank you for adding that. I don’t want our readers thinking this whopper is an all work and no play massager. You know how we often talk about hot/cold sensation play using some of our glass or metal toys? Well the Almighty has that feature built in AND it vibrates. It’s the best of both worlds. And just so you know, this vibe is super-powerful. I can place the head of the Almighty on my spine, between my shoulder blades and it will deliver vibration so deep and heavy that my teeth chatter. That’s powerful!”
Kevin: “Although the Almighty isn’t waterproof, it is still easy to sanitize after each use. Simply wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with mild soap and warm water. Then wipe it down again with another lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Gina: “The Almighty gets my highest rating. Sure the $170 price tag is a lot, but consider all the fantastic features you are getting all rolled into one product. I mean you can easily spend nearly that much on a high-end vibe that is neither as powerful or as versatile.”
Read Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

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