What Is a Wet Dream?

It’s perfectly normal and can happen to both males and females

By Brandon Peters, MD

A wet dream, also known as nocturnal emission, is a spontaneous orgasm during sleep that causes a male to ejaculate (“cum”) and a female to orgasm and secrete vaginal fluids. A wet dream is a perfectly normal occurrence, especially during the teenage years or when an adult has an extended period of sexual abstinence (not having sex).

This article explains what causes wet dreams in males and females. It also describes ways to prevent wet dreams if they have become problematic for whatever reason.

A wet dream causes a spontaneous orgasm while you are asleep. An orgasm is the climax of sexual excitement centered around the genitals of both males and females.

For males, orgasm is accompanied by the propulsive release of semen (ejaculation). With females, there may the release of a clear fluid from the urethra (the tube through which urine normally exits the body) during fluid.

Sometimes, a person may only realize that they’ve had a wet dream when their bed sheets or undergarments are moist with semen or vaginal wetness. At other times, an orgasm during a wet dream can be intense enough to awaken a person.

Wet dreams may occur throughout your lives after puberty. But, they are more common during the teenage years when sex hormones are surging or during periods of prolonged sexual abstinence.1

Nocturnal emissions typically start at age 13 to 14 during the so-called middle adolescent years.2 Around 38% of teenage males experience a wet dream before learning what it even is.3

Causes of Wet Dreams

During sleep, the blood flow to your sexual organs may be increased. For males, this can lead to an erection (“hard-on”). This is the common cause of “morning wood” in which you awaken with an erection, typically without ejaculation but sometimes with preseminal fluid (“pre-cum”).

Nocturnal emissions differ in that orgasm occurs during a wet dream. The underlying cause is unknown but there are several theories. Among them:

  • Erotic dreams: Erotic dreams occurring during REM sleep may lead to orgasm. REM sleep is the stage where you will experience the most intense and vivid dreams.
  • Testosterone surge in teens: Wet dreams are linked to high testosterone levels. Testosterone, the primary sex hormone in males, will surge during the teen years right up until early adulthood.
  • Testosterone build-up: In adult males, a prolonger period of abstinence may cause the buildup of testosterone. Testosterone in males helps fuel libido (sex drive) which, in turn, can lead to a wet dream.
  • Stimulation of the genitals: It is possible that the rubbing of the genitals during sleep (such as with bed sheets or lying on your stomach) can cause unintended sexual stimulation. This might contribute to the likelihood of a wet dream.

The cause of nocturnal emission in females is less clear, in part because female wet dreams are harder to identify due to the lack of ejaculation. Only around 10% of females experience “female ejaculation” in which there is a spurt of clear fluid during orgasm.4

Not all males have wet dreams (or, perhaps, don’t recognize them if there is little ejaculate). With that said, famed sexologist Alfred Kinsey suggested that around 85% of males and females experience nocturnal emission at some point in life.5

These findings are supported in part by a 2020 study from the University of Health Sciences in Istanbul, Turkey in which 83% of Muslim boys reported having wet dreams.6

How to Prevent Wet Dreams

Some people believe there are a few ways to reduce how often wet dreams occur. One way is to have more sex or more frequent masturbation that ends with orgasm and ejaculation. This may relieve the need for males to ejaculate during sleep.

Reducing contact with the genitals might also be helpful. Try sleeping on your side or back instead of your stomach to see if it helps.

In the rare cases that wet dreams are troublesome, a doctor might prescribe a medication such as an antidepressant. These medicines might reduce the frequency of wet dreams, but they might also make it hard to ejaculate when you’re awake.

Summary

Wet dreams are when you ejaculate while sleeping, sometimes as a response to sexual dreams. They mostly happen to teenage boys or people going through periods of abstinence.

Wet dreams can be a healthy and normal part of sleep. Aside from the need to clean up clothing or bedding, there’s no particular problem.

A Word From Verywell

If you’re worried about your sexual function and how it impacts sleep, talk to a board-certified sleep doctor. Depending on the issue, they might consult another specialist, like a urologist or gynecologist.

Reassurance may be all that’s needed, but they may want to do more testing. This might give you peace of mind and better rest.

Complete Article HERE!

Why do we have sex dreams?

And what do they mean?

By Ellen Scott

Sex dreams happen, and when they do, they’re often quite strange.

Why am I dreaming about that person I have no romantic interest in?

Why do I keep having slumber visions of myself having sex in public, when that seems terrifying in waking life?

What does it all mean?

Most of the time, sex dreams are really nothing to ponder too deeply – they don’t necessarily reveal some bigger hidden truth about your sexuality, and you shouldn’t panic if your dream self has dream sex with someone you IRL hate.

Think of dreams as a space for your mind to go a bit wild and play around, working out whatever it fancies in ways that might not make sense to your awake self.

But to answer some of the questions about sex dreams that so often come up, we chatted with relationship therapist Zoé Williams at GearHungry for her expertise.

Why do we have sex dreams?

There’s a wealth of scientific exploration into why we dream at all, but the answer to why our dreams are so often sexual in nature is pretty simple – it’s all down to the layout of our brains and how we produce hormones.

Oxytocin – also known as the love hormone – is bouncing around our mind when we’re sexually aroused or feeling romantic.

And the part of our brain that handles oxytocin is right by the areas of the brain that manage whether we’re asleep or awake.

‘Hypothalamus, the nuclei that oversee the distribution of oxytocin is located close to the regions of the brain that monitors arousal, and more importantly, the sleep and awake states of the body,’ explains Zoé. ‘This is theorised as one of the main reason’s oxytocin is so active during sleep.’

Why are our sex dreams so weird?

When our brains are in our dream state, our rational skills aren’t firing on all cylindars.

‘The majority of dreaming (90%) takes place when we’re in a REM state of sleep, the fifth of the sleep stages that takes its name from the Rapid Eye Movement it produces,’ says Zoé.

‘When we’re in this state, our brain is just as active as when we’re awake during the day, though scientists attribute the strangeness of your dreams to the fact that, chemically, our brain is completely rewired when we sleep.

‘The areas of the brain that are most active during REM are the ones that control our emotions, specifically the limbic system, which is responsible for creating and controlling both good and bad emotions.

‘Compare this to the parts of brain that are least active – the frontal lobes, which are responsible for higher functioning activities and thought, and you now understand why our dreams can sometimes be erratic at best.’

What are the most common sex dreams?

According to a survey from 2020, these are the most common sex dreams for men and women…

Women’s top 10 most common sex dreams:

  1. Sex with friend 
  2. Sex with a work colleague
  3. Sex with a stranger
  4. Sex with my current partner
  5. My partner cheats on me 
  6. Sex with the ex 
  7. Sex with a celebrity
  8. Sex with the boss
  9. Group sex 
  10. Sex with someone you hate

Men’s top 10 most common sex dreams:

  1. Sex with an ex
  2. Embarrassing sex dreams where something goes wrong
  3. Group sex
  4. Sex with a celebrity
  5. Sex in a public place
  6. My partner cheats on me 
  7. Sex involving BDSM
  8. Sex with a work colleague
  9. Sex with a friend
  10. Sex with a stranger 

What do sex dreams mean?

It’s entirely up to you how much you far you want to explore the real-life meaning of your dreams. Sometimes it really is more worthwhile to just chalk it up to ‘well, that was weird’.

Zoé says: ‘All dreams are complex, maddening, blurring and sometimes just plain illogical. Traversing the valuable from the pointless is, sometimes, an arduous task that can result in very little info for the amount or research you put in.

‘If you were to ignore your sex dreams and get on with your everyday life, you would be no worse off than you were before.’

There are some hidden meanings you can draw out from patterns that keep coming up in your dreams, however – if you’re keen.

‘Dreaming about a sexual encounter doesn’t always mean you pine for the person, but it can be as simple as you find them attractive subconsciously,’ Zoé notes.

‘Where things get a bit more interesting is what type of sex dream you have with someone.

‘A dream involving an authority figure (teacher, boss) can indicate a desire for more control in your life – control that you don’t think you’re capable of giving yourself, or it could stem from a craving of attention that you don’t feel you’re currently getting.

‘Or a sex dream involving a more adventurous type of sex that you would normally never imagine can indicate a person wanting to let go, and get out of their comfort zone, subconsciously desiring a life free from self-judgements.’

How can you start analysing your sex dreams?

If you have sex dreams with recurring themes, or just want to find out what your snoozing mind has to say, the first step is to actually keep track.

Crack out a pen and paper, keep it by your bed, and write down whatever bits of your dream you remember the moment you wake up.

‘As with all dreams, the benefits of keeping a journal and writing all the details down are extremely helpful to understanding a connection,’ says Zoé. ‘Every week, read through your entries and see if there’s a connection, a sign that your subconscious is trying to tell you something, over time you may even start to notice over patterns, like particular dreams occurring at certain times, or even recurring characters.’

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

What does it mean if you’re constantly dreaming about sex?

Dreamt anything saucy lately?

By Almara Abgarian

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night from a dirty dream that leaves you hot and bothered?

You lucky duck.

There are a lot of scientific theories for why human beings have dreams, which are essentially hallucinations concocted by our brain.

They happen on average around four to six times per night, according to The National Sleep Foundation, and are most vibrant during the REM (rapid eye movement) part of our sleeping cycle.

As for the contents of our dreams, that’s a bit more complicated.

Steve Richards, a depth psychologist, has 40 years’ worth of experience in analysing people’s subconscious.

He explains that our dreams are connected to what we see, how we feel and how we want these scenarios to be acted out.

So what does it mean if our dreams are primarily of a sexual nature?

Are we just really horny from a lack of physical intimacy or is there a deeper meaning?

Let’s find out.

Why do we dream about sex and what does it mean?

Steve says: ‘Dreams compensate for our conscious attitude and adaptation towards the external world.

‘In this sense they offer alternatives for how we see people, situations and relationships: and most of all, another perspective, on we, ourselves.

‘Our conscious mind has the executive role of adapting to the external word,
in real-time, but it’s information processing capacity is limited.’

In simpler terms, if you’ve been obsessing about sleeping with your colleague, it is very likely that you will dream about them in a naked, between-the-sheets way.

Symbolism also plays a big part in what happens in our dreams; it is a surreal landscape, the contents of which are personal to you.

It is often the details that we swiftly forget when we wake up, and it is often these which can be analysed to reveal our innermost thoughts.

Having sex with someone of the opposite gender in a dream doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bisexual or gay

He says: ‘Symbols are a kind of psychological broadband that carry a huge amount of information, summed up within them, which, with close attention, their meaning can be unpacked for conscious use.

‘Often these dream symbols are purely personal, and relate to what depth psychologists call “complexes”, which are systems of ideas and emotions that have clustered together through the lived experience of our lives.

‘Complexes are normal, they are in some sense just learning and memories, grouped by a common set of emotions and feelings.

‘Sometimes however, they become split-off from the rest of our unconscious mind, and cause disturbances; such as anxiety, depression or even neuroses.

‘Some depth psychologists believe that complexes are “the architects of dreams”.
However, there is a deeper level to the psyche, that we all share.

‘This part, is related to the evolutionary older parts of our brain, that we have in common with our ancient human ancestors, and even other species: such as mammals, reptiles and birds.’

But let’s get down to specifics, with a few scenarios.

You dream about having sex with someone of the opposite gender, but you consider yourself straight. You dream about being in bed with your ex, who you hate.

Or perhaps you dream about having a full-blown orgy in your parents’ garden with people all dressed in dog costumes.

Does this mean you are bisexual or gay, are still in love with your ex or have secret fetishes?

Not quite.

Steve said: ‘Sexuality is a normal part of our lives, and is driven by instinctive pressures from deep within our genetic inheritance.

‘As such, sex dreams have little to do with our conscious sexuality, preferences or morals. They simply express that instinctual pressure.’

Dreams are a highly debated topic, and there is no definite answer to every detail in them, but they can reflect our existing sex life and give us ideas for desires to explore.

Steve says: ‘Often, sexually-themed dreams will be caused by the level of satisfaction we have in our sex lives at any given time, but just as frequently, they simply portray the bandwidth of potential for expression that we all carry, independent of our sexuality.

‘So acting outside of our normal sexual preferences and morality, in dreams, is in itself, perfectly normal.’

Additionally, some studies suggest that what we watch or read before bed can affect our dreams.

So don’t be surprised if you have a sexy session in your sleep if you’ve spent all day reading erotic books or watching porn.

Other research reveals that our overall health is a factor in what we dream about too, which Steve agrees with.

He adds: ‘Your mind and body are opposite sides of the same coin, what affects one, affects the other.

‘To keep in healthy balance, your mind and body need to communicate, we experience this communication in our dreams.

‘Look closely at the content of your dreams and learn to take them as natural “facts” written in a symbolic language.’

Complete Article HERE!

What Do Your Sex Dreams Really Mean

And Should You Pay Attention To Them?

By Vicky Spratt

In certain schools of psychoanalysis, namely that of Sigmund Freud, dreams are considered to be a snapshot of our unconscious desires. As he saw it, while we sleep, we play a tape of things we cannot or, perhaps, would not do while we are awake. Freud saw dreams as the fulfilment of a repressed wish.

This, for anyone who has ever had a sex dream, can make for troubling reading. If you’ve ever woken up from one, particularly if you share a bed with your real life partner, still able to remember everything in vivid detail, you’ll know what a complex set of feelings it can provoke.

Not too long ago this came up while I having a weekend away with a friend. As we sat in a country pub, drinking lager shandies with cards on the table (that we had no intention of playing) and both confessed that recently we’d been having more sex dreams than we felt entirely comfortable with.

If a new study, published in the journal Psychology and Sexuality, is to be believed, there’s a reason why this is coming up so much in conversation. Young women today are reporting having more erotic dreams than they have ever done in previous studies (though still less than men).

The researchers defined an erotic dream as including “sexually motivated actions such as flirting, kissing, intercourse or masturbation as well as watching sexual actions.” They asked 2,907 16-92 year-olds about their dreams and found the highest frequency of erotic dreams among those aged 16-30.

There’s a pretty straightforward explanation for all of this, as the study itself points out. Young women, who have grown up in the wake of the feminist movements of the 1960s and 70s which brought about a sexual revolution, are more open about sex. As a result, they’re more likely to report erotic dreams than older generations would have been at their age.

Young women today are reporting having more erotic dreams than they have ever done in previous studies (though still less than men).

Back in that small, quiet country pub my friend (who for obvious reasons will remain anonymous) and I both expressed serious concern about what our dreams might mean and how they were influencing our relationships.

“In mine,” she had half-whispered, leaning in across the wobbling table and spilling beer in the process, “I’m always a younger version of myself and I’m getting off with men that age too.”

I confessed that my dreams always involved the same ex-boyfriend to the point where I now felt incredibly uncomfortable and, at several points, had even considered reaching out to him. The whole thing was causing me to reconsider my current, long-term relationship.

Since then, another friend (who also wished to stay anonymous), has told me that she had “started to look forward to turning the light out in bed” because she knew she could drift off into an erotic dream, despite being very much in love with her current partner.

Perhaps that’s because at some point in our lives we’ve all read – or at least heard of Freud – and absorbed the idea that our dreams are our subconscious trying to tell us something.

Sexual desire and guilt are often convergent parts of being human but when it comes to dreaming, about someone else, while lying next to your real life partner they become one and the same.

Dr Dylan Selterman is a senior lecturer at the University of Maryland’s psychology department. His work focuses on patterns of dreaming and how dreams influence our subsequent behaviour. I asked him what he makes of this latest research?

“To be clear, the study doesn’t actually show that young women (or men) are having more erotic dreams today,” he said, offering a word of caution. “The study simply shows that participants estimated a higher percentage of erotic dreams than in previous studies. This could be explained by a number of factors. The current study was recall-based, whereas previous studies used diaries. In general, diary studies are more accurate in terms of frequencies, but the recall-based studies can still be quite useful”.

In his own research, Selterman has found that the content of erotic dreams does affect how we interact with our romantic partners afterwards.

“Specifically,” he says, “socially negative dream content including jealousy and infidelity predicted more conflict and less intimacy the following day, especially for people who either scored high in insecurity or whose relationship was not going well.”

Meanwhile, for people whose relationship was going well he found “if they had a sex dream they felt more intimacy with their partners the next day.”

This reflects the experience of one of my friends. She found that having sex dreams actually made her feel more affectionate towards her partner. She said it made her “appreciate” him more and actually inspired her to have more sex with him in real life. (A colleague also told me she has had a sporadic but recurring sex dream about the same man for over a decade. That man is Eminem and she’s harboured fond feelings for him ever since.)

However, for the other, the opposite was true. She and her partner had become disconnected, she was unsure about whether she wanted to stay in the relationship. Every morning, after one of the erotic dreams she so looked forward to she would feel “empty and guilt ridden.”

Selterman cautions that while there is growing research in this area there isn’t enough to draw concrete conclusions from. When is comes to psychology, he points out, have moved on a lot since Freud.

“I’m not sure that erotic dreams ‘mean’ anything in terms of symbolism or latent content because we don’t have evidence for that,” he adds. “Instead, we likely dream about sex because we think about sex while we’re awake. The continuity hypothesis (which is mentioned in the new research), suggests that dreams mirror our thoughts and behaviours while awake.”

So, I ask Selterman, should we pay attention to sex dreams when we have them or not? “Sure!” he says, “why not! Dreams can give a great insight into our minds and relationships.”

However, insight is not the same as a dream delivering us a veiled message from our subconscious. A sex dream is more likely to be a reflection of something you were already thinking about that day. If it comes as a surprise to you in the night, it might be worth being very honest with yourself about what you want and whether you’re getting what you need when you’re awake.

Complete Article HERE!

What Do Lesbian Sex Dreams Mean If You’re Straight?

For starters, it’s totally normal.

By

You’ve just woken up from a sex dream and, instead of feeling happy and relaxed (thanks, sleep orgasm!), you feel totally confused. Why? Because the regulation hottie in your dream wasn’t your usual Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth (or okay, even Chris Pratt)—it was a woman. Yep, let’s just come out and say it: You had a lesbian sex dream.

But, wait, you’re straight…right?

It’s a question that makes total sense to ask, especially if you’re one to interpret dreams on a literal basis.

I get it: You enjoyed the dream—a lot—but you’ve never really thought about women that way before. Sure, you’ve helped your friends pick their best thirst trap and ogled actresses’ fit bodies, but you’ve never, in the words of Katy Perry, kissed a girl and liked it. (Obvs, you’re cool with lesbian relationships, you’ve just never felt the desire to be in one.)

But before you go texting every one of your friends to find out if you’re the only one who’s had an unexpected girl-on-girl fantasy (P.S. you’re so not) and spiraling into crisis mode, let experts decode what a lesbian sex dream really means.

First, know what a lesbian sex dream is not.

“Women are often anxious about their lesbian dreams, and they needn’t be,” says Gayle Delaney, PhD, a dream specialist, clinical psychologist, and founding president of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. “It’s the rarest of possibilities that you turn out to be a lesbian.” (Not that there’d be anything wrong with you if you come to that realization, but it’s very unlikely the case.)

FWIW, gay men and women have the same horrified reaction when they have a straight sex dream, Delaney says, so it’s not about any stigma but rather the element of surprise

In all her years of analyzing dreams, she’s never encountered someone who identified as straight suddenly realize that they were actually gay (or vice versa) by way of a sex dream.

Psychologist Rubin Naiman, PhD, a clinical assistant professor of medicine and the sleep and dream specialist at the University of Arizona, hasn’t either. “It’s my experience that dreaming doesn’t smack you in the head. I’ve never seen that happen,” he explains.

“I think a woman who has an opening in her heart toward sex with other women or a lesbian relationship would probably have some awareness,” he says. “The dream might surprise her, but it probably wouldn’t shock her.”

Delaney agrees: “People generally aren’t that repressed.”

Still, you might be a bit closer to lesbianism on the sexuality spectrum than you originally thought.

“Most people are on somewhat of a sexual continuum,” Naiman says. “But that doesn’t mean that a woman having this dream is a lesbian.” (ICYDK, tons of straight women get off to lesbian porn, but that doesn’t impact who they choose to date.)

Okay, so what does it mean to have a lesbian sex dream?

I hate to break it to all you dream-dictionary owners, but there “are few, if any, universal meanings to a dream,” says Naiman. The only way to figure out what your imaginary lesbian encounter really means is to ask yourself what it means to you</em

The first step is interviewing yourself about your dream. Delaney recommends asking these questions:

  • What happened in the dream?
  • How did the dream feel?
  • Who’s the woman you’re having sex with?
  • What does it feel like to be with her?
  • How does the sex go?

Of course, the answers will depend on your individual experience. That said, Delaney has noticed striking similarities in women’s responses whenever she’s conducted this type of dream interview.

“Almost always, women say it feels wonderful,” she explains. “Some have a more erotic dream, and some have it more loving. But in both cases, the sex goes really well.”

As for your dream’s costar, it’s “likely a woman you know and whom you admire,” says Delaney. Often, she’s further advanced in her career, and might even be your boss. Again, don’t freak out—your dream isn’t an HR violation.

“The relevant part is what this figure plays in your life. She’s usually someone more along your path, whatever that is,” Delaney explains. “This dream means you really have come a ways to be accepted and liked by a woman who plays a role in your life goals.”

There are exceptions to this dream interpretation, of course, but “the vast majority” of lesbian dreams Delaney has heard actually reveal a woman’s career aspirations—not her sexuality

If that seems ironic, or weird, it isn’t. “One of the mistakes we make about sexual dreams is that we reduce it to the anatomical, physical act of sex,” Naiman says. “Symbolically, a sexual connection is a connection of love.”

So, regardless of whether or not your dream reflects your personal goals, it might also be about how you connect to women—and womanhood itself.

“Dreaming is not just about our personal unconscious, it’s also about our shared, social, and collective unconscious,” Naiman explains. He believes the evolution of pro-women movements over time, most recently with #MeToo and Time’s Up, have made their way into that collective unconscious.

And get this—you don’t even have to be actively aware of or involved in these movements to have their underlying effect on society influence your dreams. Translation: Your dream about making love to another woman could simply mean you love women. (I mean, why wouldn’t you? They’re the best.)

Regardless, however your confusing dream went down, don’t overthink it.

“We have to come at the dream—even difficult and frightening dreams—with the presumption that it’s friendly,” Naiman says. “If we don’t, we’re going to lose some of the personal meaning that’s hidden in the dream.”

So, the next time you have a lesbian sex dream (hey, if it happened once, it can happen again), just embrace it. Then maybe tell a boss lady in your life how much you admire her. Spread the love!

Complete Article HERE!

How Your Penis Exercises While You Sleep

[I]f you want to maintain your penis size and keep it ready to perform, it is important to know how to exercise your penis. While the “love muscle” is not actually a muscle itself, your member contains spongy tissue and chambers that fill with blood to make it harder and larger; so it’s important to exercise it like any other part of the body.

You can exercise your penis by engaging in activities that increase blood flow into it. And the best way to encourage blood flow and preserve penis length is to have regular sex and/or to masturbate more. Simply put, it’s a case of use it or lose it. The more you have sex or masturbate the better shape your penis will be in. Another thing you may not know is that your penis actually exercises itself while you sleep.

Exercising Your Penis in Your Sleep

Your penis actually gets a workout while you sleep. Those middle-of-the-night and early-morning erections have an important function. They are a way for your penis to pump itself up and get some exercise. These erections are called “nocturnal erections,” and they serve several purposes such as promoting oxygenation and blood flow to the penis and helping prevent erectile dysfunction (ED). Plus, from a biological perspective, waking up with your “little friend” ready to go with your partner nearby helps encourage reproduction. Isn’t that convenient?

This “nature’s little helper” is also a natural penis extension therapy, helping to maintain penis size by continuously stretching the penile tissue. When you have an erection, oxygenating blood fills the penis, making it hard. Having good blood flow is an essential component to achieving and maintaining that erection. All healthy men with normal erectile function have multiple erections during their sleep cycle.

As you get older, you may notice that these nocturnal and morning erections are not as strong or as frequent as you had in your younger years. One of the reasons nocturnal erections reduce as you age is because of decreased testosterone, but their absence and other erectile problems could indicate a larger health problem. If you can’t remember the last time you woke up with a hard-on, or if you have experienced erectile dysfunction while awake, talk to your doctor because erectile dysfunction (ED) can be a sign of heart disease.

The downside to having fewer nocturnal erections as you age is that you stop receiving the extension and exercise benefits they provide. That makes it so you have to start working harder in the non-sleeping hours. If you don’t exercise your penis regularly, your penis can actually shrink 1-2 centimeters. Some of the other risks for loss of penis length include weight gain, aging (due to lack of use and declining hormones), genetics, and prostate surgery.

About 70 percent of the men who have their prostate removed can expect to lose some of their penis length. Prostate cancer patients are often unable to achieve an erection for 6-24 months, so doctors sometimes prescribe penis pumps. A penis pump is a tool that keeps the blood flowing in and out, and it helps prevent permanent shrinkage by stretching the penile tissue.

How to Test for Nocturnal Erections

If you are not waking up with erections and are not sure if you still even have nocturnal erections, here’s a simple nocturnal erection test you can do over three nights in the privacy of your own home. Before you laugh, this is actually a real test used by urologists, and it has a name—the nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT) stamp test.

Get a strip of four to six postage stamps (you’ll need a strip for each night). Wrap the strip around the shaft of the penis and moisten to seal the ring. Once the stamp is dry, carefully place your penis into your shorts or underwear to protect the stamps from falling off. In the morning, check to see if the stamps have been broken along their perforation. During at least one of the three nights you should see the ring of stamps broken. If the ring is not broken there may be a physical problem, and you should talk to your doctor.

ED and Heart Disease

If you no longer are getting nocturnal erections or if you have had trouble with your erectile function during the waking hours, talk to your doctor to get your heart checked. A lack of nocturnal erections is one of the signs of ED, and ED is connected with another, scarier ED: early death. So even though exercising your penis is important, you also need to exercise your heart and eat a heart-healthy diet to protect both your heart and your love life.

When Size Matter

If you are concerned about losing your penis length, the best and most enjoyable plan is to use it as much as possible. There are penis-lengthening procedures, but they all have some cautions or drawbacks. One of the interesting penis facts, is that about 50 percent of your penis is actually inside your body courtesy of a suspensory ligament that attaches the penis to your pelvic bone. During surgery, a doctor releases the ligament so that more of the penis can move outside the body. It’s a serious procedure that takes awhile to heal, so you should look into whether gaining that extra inch or so is worth it.

If girth is more your concern than length there are some penile widening procedures as well. You can have a doctor implant silicone, fat, or tissue grafts into your penis. Another procedure that improves girth is to inject hyaluronic acid (a substance found in your body) into the penis. It is said to be painful but effective.

Maintaining a healthy sex life remains the best natural “sex-ercise plan” you can follow (along with exercise, diet, and lifestyle modifications). There are also other great sex exercises for men that can help strengthen muscles and increase stamina and flexibility for better performance. Most men will agree that having sex regularly to maintain penis size sounds much more inviting than cutting or injecting their favorite—and most sensitive—body part unless there is a serious medical reason for it.

Complete Article HERE!

A potpourri of poignant problems

Name: Catherine Joanne
Gender: Female
Age: 42
Location: Canada, Alberta
I am in a very loving, understanding, compassionate relationship, which I have been waiting for for some time now. The only thing is he stimulates my emotional side in every way, but in the bedroom he is not as sexual as previous partners I have encountered. I do not know if this is because all my previous relationships have always been about the “sex” and fizzled out, shortly there after, or this is how a “real love thing truly is?” If so, how can I mentally get over this one…he’s just not inventive, or has a lack of sexual knowledge. I don’t want to end this loving relationship over the bed issue. Please help me out on this one, so I do not sabotage this relationship. Sincerely, Catherine

Like my momma always used to say, if it has four wheels or a dick, you know you’re gonna have trouble with it. Listen darlin’, if this guy satisfies as much as you say, hold on to him. He’s a keeper.

You can always teach the old dog some new tricks. Of course, you’re gonna have to take the lead in his sex ed. Let’s just hope he’s not threatened by a woman who is more sexually experienced, adventurous and progressive than he is.

That being said, I think you ought to make your peace with the fact that he’ll probably never become a wild fuck. But then again, you probably don’t want that, because those wild fucks don’t make for loving, understanding and compassionate partners…as you already know.

Just remember: It’s as hard to domesticate a wild fuck, as it is to make a domestic fuck — wild!

Good luck

Name: Jamie
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Location: Georgia
Lately when me and my boyfriend have sex, he’s been pulling out because he says his dick burns. WHY IS HE HAVING THAT PROBLEM?

What you got goin’ on in your pussy, girl? Nothing about a healthy cunt is gonna irritate a guy’s dong. SEE YOUR DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!

Hey wait a minute! Maybe he’s the one with the problem. Maybe he has some kind of a skin irritation or rash or something. And his willie is gettin irritated inside you. HE OUGHTA SEE HIS DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY!

Say, have you seen his dick up close and in good light lately…ever? I am painfully aware that lots of couples never see one another fully naked even when their doin’ the nasty. This is not a good practice. You should not only know all about your own pussy and how to keep it in perfect working order, but you should have some working knowledge of how a healthy cock looks and operates. If you’re not clear on this you have some homework to do.

And what the fuck are you two doin screwin’ around without using a condom? Are you on the pill? You’d better be. Cuz if you ain’t ya’ll are gonna have a whole lot more to worry about than cock burns, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Name: Chris P.
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Location: Montgomery AL
Can it be unhealthy to deliberately avoid male ejaculation for long periods of time? Months, Years? Is it practiced maybe by religious? Can it be done?

Yes, it can be done. And no, it’s not necessarily an unhealthy practice! Some people practice total sexual abstinence for their entire adult life. Some of these people do so for religious reasons, others simply because they aren’t particularly interested in sex. Either way, there’s no real evidence that this practice is injurious to one’s health. What I can say for sure is that if one chooses or embraces sexual abstinence as a means to a higher goal, it is virtuous. If abstinence is mandated or practiced out of fear or repression, there is no virtue.

That being said, I do want to remind you of something I’ve written about a lot recently. It concerns the groundbreaking research on the connection between masturbation and prostate cancer. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect of frequent ejaculations was greatest when the men were in their 20’s. Get this; men who ejaculated more than five times a week were one third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life. Kind of amazing, huh?

I think you should also know that even if you don’t purposely ejaculate, like through jerkin off or partnered sex, your body still needs to rid itself of old stale semen in another way. Think of it like this, when your bladder gets full you take a wiz. When your prostate and seminal vesicles get full you take a jizz. It’s as simple and natural as all that. If you don’t relieve yourself of your joy juice on your own, your body will rid itself of your old spooge in a wet dream, or it will flush it out of your system in your urine. It’s like if you didn’t relieve yourself when your bladder got full, you’d piss anyhow, only it wouldn’t be able to properly direct it. Get it? Got it? Good!

Good luck

Give it to me straight!

Name: Darren
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Location: Long Beach
I’m a 24-year-old straight male. On my second tour of duty in Iraq, I took some shrapnel in my back on account of an IED. I’ve been in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down, ever since. I come from a very strict religious family so I never was sexually active before the marines. Now I’m back at home, and while my parents are great caregivers, I can’t talk to them about this. I’m afraid that I won’t ever get to have sex, but I want to. What should I do?

Tough break, pup! As if the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan weren’t bad enough, there is all this collateral damage to our brave and valiant service people. Damn. If we, your countrymen, don’t owe ya’ll every possible assistance, accommodation and convenience I don’t know what!

I’ll admit, your family’s religious scruples, coupled with your spinal cord injury, makes for a pretty daunting double whammy. So let’s start with some basics. Lots of people automatically think that a person in a wheelchair can’t have or is uninterested in sex. Your parents probably think this. They probably also believe that sex is only for married people and since you aren’t married and you’re in a chair, there’s no good reason to discuss the matter further. I encourage you not to sink to the lowest common denominator on this.

I suspect that since you still have a healthy interest in sex, and you want to get laid at some point…hopefully real soon. All we have to do is figure out a clever work-around to your current living situation. To that end, I have some questions for you. Are you afforded any private time and space in your parent’s home? Are you are getting some physical therapy at the veteran’s hospital or elsewhere? Are you in a spinal injury support group? Do you have any social outlets, other than the medical related ones? Do you still have some jar-head buddies who could swing by and pick you up and take you out?

The reason I ask all these questions is that, despite your disability, you’re gonna have to forge your own independent life away from, and out of the control of your parents — good people though they are. Many care-providers, despite their best intentions, have a tendency to smother the people they are caring for. Don’t let this happen to you. The only way you will find the fuck you are looking for is if you assert your independence. This move toward independence may have to happen incrementally, but you gotta get started.

Clearly you have access to the interents, or you wouldn’t have been able to contact to me. That’s a good start. The internet tubes is gonna be your best friend for the duration, count on it. Connect with other similarly challenged vets and civilians online. These folks will be a wealth of information for you about how to take the next steps — pardon the pun — toward independent living. If you’re not plugged into an ongoing spinal injury support group, make that happen ASAP. Like I said, these folks will have information and resources that the professionals who attend you do not have, or will not share. If there are any wheelchair fetishists out there, your support group will know about them. And I think you can be pretty certain that there are. You are following me on this, right Darren? Good!

Now, this is where your jar-head buddies will come in handy. Prevail upon them to be your transportation. Parents are good for getting you to and from the hospital and the like, but you don’t want to count on them to get you to a tryst or date, don’t cha know. One thing for certain, when connecting with chicks online or elsewhere you need to be pretty upfront about what you want and need. Remember, you have to compensate for people’s preconceived ideas about sex and disability.

I’ll grant you, this is a fine line to tread — again no pun intended — because you have to be upfront about your desires, but ya gotta do it without being a dickhead about it. You are also at a disadvantage for not having had the opportunity of hone your dating and seduction skills before Iraq. So you’re gonna have to do some remedial work now. In social situations — and you ought to be goin out to places other than hospitals and support groups — project yourself as a sexual being. Put out a sexual vibe. Not all geeky and weird, but as a matter of self-confidence, you’re a marine vet for Christ sake. That should be swagger and bragging rights enough.

And don’t forget, you know something that others may not know. You’re gonna be a freakin’ terror in the sheets, because you gonna be making up for a whole lot of lost time. Make eye contact and smile, be your charming devilish self. Whatever you do, don’t gawk at her tits. They may be pretty as all get out, and the object of your eternal desire, but please, keep a lid on it!

If you are unsure about your skills as a lover or you just need a little tutorial on how to please a woman, my I suggest you connect with a pro — ya know a sex worker. That’s right, it’s a time-honored way for guys in the service to lose their cherry. And you’re still sorta like in the service, right? Nowadays, connecting with just the right provider has never been easier, thanks again to the internets. See, I told you that the internet tubes was gonna be your best friend for the duration. Seriously, I suspect that you have lots to learn about the ins and outs of sex, — my final pun, i promise — so why not see a specialist?

One thing for sure, if you are having a difficult time carving out private time there in your parent’s home, or they are the snooping kind, keep your internet searches on a friend’s computer. You don’t want your parents finding out that you are indeed a sexual being looking to get his freak on. At least you don’t want them to find out till after you’ve established your independence. Because if they pull the plug on your internets before you’re on your own, because they think you are a big fat pervert sexual sinner, you’re gonna be shit out of luck, if ya catch my drift.

Good luck

Name: Mikhall
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Location: U of M
I’ve been having wet dreams since I was 13. I thought I would get over this by now, but it’s still happening. I’m in college now and I don’t want my roommate to think I’m some kind of freak. Is there anyway to make this stop?

I remember when I was a kid, I couldn’t have been more that 6 or 7, I overheard my older brother telling his friend he had had a wet dream. I couldn’t wrap my head around what he was saying. He was boasting, of course, and it had something to do with sex, that I knew for sure. But why was he so proud of wetting his bed? I was way to self-conscious to ask him about it, so I let my mind just spin out all these fantastic scenarios and boy, were they fantastic. My brother was really cool, so I was hoped I would have a wet dream one day too, but I was also dreading it all the same. Information about sex, when it comes in dribs and drabs like this, can really be confusing.

I finally had my first wet dream a few years later and I was surprised as hell to wake up with sticky wet sheets and PJs. Interestingly enough, I didn’t make the connection between what had just happened to me and what my brother had been talking about a couple of years earlier. So ok, I wasn’t all that swift when I was a kid. But just look at me now!

As I look back, I can’t honestly tell you how I figured the whole thing out. I did, however, discover that wet dreams had a more ominous technical name: a nocturnal emission. That was scary in and of itself.

So ok, here’s what we know about wet dreams. And you can bank in this info. When a guy begins puberty, somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13, he starts to produce sperm. Once that happens he’s able to ejaculate, even though he may not have discovered this on his own, ya know like through jerkin’ off. It is at this point that most guys experience their first wet dreams. While asleep our little boy cock rubs against the mattress or sheets, or we may unconsciously fondle ourselves till we squirt. Since this often happens while dreaming, or because of a dream with sexual overtones, a nocturnal emission is also call a sex dream, or the ever popular dirty dream.

Here’s something you might not know. Technically there is a difference between a nocturnal orgasm (which anyone can have at any age, even as and infant) and a nocturnal emission (which only males have and only after he reaches puberty).

I know you’re a bit exasperated, Mikhall, with the continuation of these pesky wet dreams, but it’s all quite normal and I might add, healthy. You clearly have a very active spooge production system. You’re body is producing an over abundance of spunk, more than you need. And it has to get rid of the excess somehow. Believe me, you really wouldn’t want it stay in your system; it wouldn’t be healthy. Embarrassment aside, you can be grateful that your bod is working properly and in harmony with nature.

Do you recall your first wet dream? Most guys tell me that they thought they had injured themselves, or they somehow got a sex disease. Too bad our parents don’t prepare us for this eventful night. Many kids are so filled with fear and embarrassment that they try to destroy the evidence — getting rid of the sheets, underwear or pajamas. Another confusing aspect of a kid’s first wet dream is the pleasure and arousal he feels. Those of us brought up in religious homes are often filled with shame by this disturbing occurrence.

Those of you who are familiar with Dr Dick’s background know that I was a Catholic priest for many years. I know, scary, huh? I don’t want to go off topic here and discuss my life as a priest now — we can save that for another time. What I want to point out here is that when I was in the saddle, so to speak, I often had the occasion to hear the confessions of young people. It was remarkable how often young men would confess to a wet dream, like if they had committed some heinous crime! What gives with a culture that instills such shame about things that are so natural and outside of our control?

Think of it this way, when your bladder gets full you take a wiz. When your prostate and seminal vesicles get full you take a jizz. It’s as simple and natural as all that. Now, if I were to guess, Mikhall, I’d speculate that, for whatever reason, you’re not masturbating all that much. Right? The reason I think that is, if you were relieving yourself of your joy juice, ya know like beatin’ off, you’d have less of a build up and fewer wet dreams, if any. Do you see where I’m headed with this? The same thing would be true if you didn’t relieve yourself when your bladder got full, you’d piss anyhow, only it would happen when you weren’t able to properly direct it. Get it? Got it? Good!

If you want to cut down on those embarrassing wet dreams, milk yourself before you sleep. This way you can direct your spooge into a proper receptacle, like a Kleenex or a dirty sock — just like all your peers.

I also want to remind you of the current research being done about masturbation. Australian researchers questioned over 1,000 men who had developed prostate cancer and 1,250 men who had not, about their sexual habits. They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop prostate cancer.

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20’s. Get this, men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Good luck!

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #32 — 09/24/07

[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans,

I have a really swell show for you today. We have several very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of lively, affable and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT — Guess what? drdicksexadvice.com had hit a huge milestone. As of this morning, we’ve exceeded 100,000 unique visitors to the site since it’s premiere last February! Damn, ya’ll make me so proud!

  • Valeri got the shaft from her dick of a husband!
  • Darren is a wheelchair bound vet looking to get laid.
  • Mikhall keeps having wet dreams! WTF?

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the health section under the subheading — Sexuality. Or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice With An Edge. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

Say, would you like to become a sponsor for one or more of my weekly sex advice podcasts? As you know, I plug a product or service at the beginning and end of each show. Each podcast has its own posting on my site along with the name of the podcast sponsor and a banner for the product or service.

The beauty part about this unique opportunity is that once a sponsor’s ad is included in a particular podcast that sponsor is embedded there forever.

Your sponsorship also underscores your social conscience. Your marketing dollars will not only got to promote your product, but you will be doing so while helping to disseminate badly needed sex education and sexual enrichment messages. Simply put, ya just can’t get a better bang for your advertising buck!

For further information, contact me at: dr_dick@drdicksexadvice.com

Today’s podcast is once again bought to you by: DR DICK’S HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.q.jpg