Category Archives: Semen

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #82 — 09/29/08

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Hey sex fans,

I have a really delectable show for you today. We have a big load of stimulating questions from the sexually worrisome. And I respond with an equal number of stunning, appealing and oh so informative responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

And just to mix things up a bit, I’m gonna throw in a nice Product Review.  You’re gonna love this one!

  • Lilla’s BF suddenly shut the backdoor.  What’s up with that?
  • E is all worried about the consistency of his spunk.
  • Dustin is gay.  His best gal-pal is straight.  They want to make a baby.
  • NHB is chompin’ at the bit.  He and his partner are discussing opening the corral.

Finally a Product Review — The Vergenza Mk. I

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. 😉 Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S STOCKROOM.

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U. B. Goode

As long as habit and routine dictate the pattern of living, new dimensions of the soul will not emerge. — Henry van Dyke

Name: Victoria
Gender:
Age: 22
Location: San Diego
I love sex with my boyfriend. It is great but sometimes it can be a real pain. I can’t seam to stay wet for to long even if it feels really good I still tend to dry up. I have tryed lubrication even lotion and it still only helps for a few mins then I dry up again. I can cum but even then after a few I get dry again. It makes it so hard cause my boyfriend tends to think I’m not wet cause he dosen’t please me. When it is not true. He is in fact the best lover I have ever had. Please is there anything I can do to help so I don’t dry up so fast?

Bummer, Victoria, a chronically dry pussy is no fun. First, lets put your boyfriend’s mind to rest.wet_pussy.JPG

Hey Bub, it ain’t you, darlin’. Listen to your woman. You’re pleasing her just fine. The problem resides in her inability to produce sufficient lubrication to make fucking fun and effortless. But lets see if we can get to the bottom of this AACS — Acute Arid Cunt Syndrome — and maybe we’ll find a solution along the way.

Ya know, Victoria, if you’re using the wrong kind of lube for the job it’s gonna dry out, sure as shootin’. And since I don’t know what you are using, I’m gonna employ the scattergun approach. There are several different types of vaginal lubricants available over-the-counter, as well as estrogen-based creams available by prescription. Vaginal lubricants come in tubes, plastic squeezie bottles, and some women swear by the vitamin E vaginal suppositories.

If I had to guess, I’d say you were trying to get the job done by using a water-based lube, right? If that’s the case, I suggest you switch to a Silicon-based lubricant. They don’t dry out as quickly as water-based lubes. They tend to be a bit more expensive. They’re not water-soluble, so clean up can be a bit of a chore. Here’s a tip: you’ll want to avoid using a Silicon-based lube while fucking on the brand new Laura Ashley’s, don’t ‘cha know. But all these minor drawbacks pale in comparison to some mighty fine slippery fucking. Look for Pjur Woman Bodyglide, 100 ml (B305), in Dr Dick Stockroom. Mind as well plug one of my favorite sponsors, right? If that doesn’t work, I’d ask a doctor about an estrogen-based cream.

dry_pussy.jpgBut before we go there, maybe you should be asking yourself what gives with your Acute Arid Cunt Syndrome anyway. Is anything about your lifestyle that contributes to the problem? You know lot of very popular meds interfere with natural vaginal lubrication including:

• Halcion
• Xanax
• Ativan
• Calcium channel blockers
• Beta-blockers
• and especially prescribed and over-the-counter cold and allergy medications.

High levels of stress and depression, as well as a hormone imbalance, can cause vaginal dryness too. If this sounds like you, you can combat some of this by boosting your water intake. If you’re not adequately hydrated — at least ten 8-oz glasses of water a day — kinda hydration, you know you’re gonna have a problem.

Also, many hand and body soaps and a lotta laundry products contain scents and other chemicals that will irritate the delicate mucosal tissues that line your pussy.

A healthy diet and proper exercise is also important to maintaining a healthy level of natural lubrication. Ya know those low-fat, high-carb diets many women are on these days? Well, they literally starve your body of the nutrients it needs to make sex hormones. For example, the estrogen needed for vaginal lubrication is made from cholesterol, something women on low-fat diets are woefully lacking.

Name: LARRY
Gender:
Age: 23
Location: MYRTLE BEACH SC
WHERE DOES SEMEN COME FROM? THAT IS TO SAY WHAT ORGAN (ORGANS) MAKE IT AND WHERE IS IT STORED. WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENS AT CLIMAX? IF YOU CLIMAX WITHOUT CUMING IS THAT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD CONCERN ME

Semen is the technical name for male ejaculate. However, we here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice like to refer to this man juice as spooge, spunk, jizz or cum. Semen contains sperm, of course, which is produced in your testicles. It also contains a complex “soup” called seminal fluid, which is produced by various sex glands in your body. But, despite its complexity, baby batter is 90% water.

Your most important sex glands, the seminal vesicles, produce 70% of your joy juice. This seminal fluid iscum_shot99.JPG viscous and alkaline. The alkaline quality is very important because it neutralizes the acidic environment of your urethra and a woman’s vagina, which would otherwise kill all your little sperm-letts or at least make them inactive. And what good is inactive sperm?

Seminal fluid also contains a simple sugar, which provides the energy your seed needs to survive and wriggle about like crazy. Oh and precum. the stuff that often drizzles from your man meat while you’re being aroused, comes from the Cowper’s gland, and it too paves the way for a healthy ride for your delicate spermatozoa.

About 25% of the volume of your spooge comes from your prostate gland. This gives your spunk its milky appearance. Your prostate also adds substances, which increase the survival rate of your baby seeds.

On average, a man ejaculates between 2.5 and 5 ml of jizz per wad, which contains about 50 – 150 million sperm per milliliter. Just think of that next time you shoot your business into that dirty sock at the side of your bed. And here’s another thing, if a dude’s sperm count falls below 20 million per milliliter, he’s likely to be infertile, or as we like to call it — shootin’ blanks.

The amount of goop a guy gushes varies greatly, and has lots to do with how long his arousal period lasts before he shoots. Ya see, the longer the arousal period the more time there is for your fluids to build up. That’s why Dr Dick always suggests a nice long foreplay session. The greater the build up of spooge, the more powerful your ejaculatory contractions will be. Which, in turn, makes for a more intense orgasm.

You will notice that I am going out of my way to separate the two events — ejaculation and orgasm. For a most guys they happen simultaneously. But for the lucky few, and those who practice the art of tantra, multiple orgasms are possible before the ejaculation.

crreampie1.jpgYou’ll notice your spunk tends to be sticky and thick right after you blow your load. But soon there after it begins to separate and become more runny. This is pretty normal. It is also normal for the color and texture of your jizz to vary from time to time. Sometimes it can be real milky, sometime it’s clearer with only streaks of milkiness in it. It can also contain gelatinous globules from time to time. A lot of this has to do with how hydrated you are, how many times you’ve cum recently and of course your age. Spooge production diminishes as we age.

Each ejaculation is actually a collection of spurts that send waves of pleasure throughout your body, but especially in your cock and groin area. The first and second convulsions are usually the most intense, and propel the greatest quantity of jizz. Each following muscle contraction is associated with a diminishing volume of cum and a milder wave of pleasure.

Most of us men folk can’t resist increasing manual or thrusting stimulation when we get to the point of ejaculatory inevitably. Which is too bad, because if we practiced some simple edging techniques — that is coming right up to the point of shooting, but then halting direct cock stimulation till the urge to pop subsides — our pleasure would increase. We’d last longer and our expected orgasm would be more powerful.

The typical male orgasm lasts about 17 seconds but can vary from a few seconds up to about a full minute. A typical ejaculation consists of 10 to 15 contractions.cum_drip.jpg

I know that I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating here. A recent Australian study has suggests that frequent masturbation, particularly as a young man, appears to reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life.

If you’re chokin’ the chicken a lot your sperm count will be low and the amount of jizz you produce will be less. But also age, testosterone level, nutrition and especially hydration play a big part in that too. Just remember, a low sperm count, is not the same thing as a diminished volume of cum.

When a guy blows his wad before he wants to, it’s called premature ejaculation. If a man is unable to ejaculate when he want to, even after prolonged stimulation, it is called delayed ejaculation, retarded ejaculation or anorgasmia.

An orgasm that is not accompanied by ejaculation is known as a dry orgasm. And that may or may not have anything to do with semen production, because some men ejaculate into their bladder, and that, my friend, is called a retrograde ejaculation.

Name: Ernie
Gender:
Age: 50
Location: Atlanta
I love to taste cum. However sometimes it is quite bitter. I’ve worried that it’s because someone is taking medicine that comes through in the semen. Am I at risk swallowing some cum if the guy is on heart medication or other meds?

Well, darlin’, like I always say, we are what we eat…or in this case…what we consume.

facial006.jpegAbsolutely, you can be assured that there are trace amounts of unmetabolized drugs — pharmaceutical as well as recreational — in cum. This is not as much of a concern for jizz lappers, like you, as it is for piss guzzlers. But you oughtn’t fool yourself into thinking there will be no residue.

Here are some fun spooge facts. It’s protein, baby! And It contains only about 12 to 15 calories per cum shot. That’s same amount found in an egg white.

Alcohol, drugs and nicotine will make a guy’s spooge bitter. If you want your spooge to be sweet tasting, void junk foods and have lots of fruits and greens in your diet instead. Fruit juices like pineapple, citrus, and cranberry are also known to make cum taste sweeter. The higher the sugar content; melon, mango, apple, or grape, the sweeter the spooge. Likewise, vegetables like parsley and celery are also recommended. And just so you know, consumption of these things, even 20 minutes before a blow job can effect the taste of the cum produced.

— — And ya know what? The same is true for effecting the taste of pussy juice. How sweet is that? — —

Avoid fish and red meat, they produce a bitter, fishy taste because of their alkaline content. Chemically-processed alcohol can also make your joy juice taste bitter. Naturally fermented drinks are less likely to do so. Garlic and onion are likely to produce strong odors in your spunk since they are high in sulfur; so lay off these. And of course, asparagus is to be avoided pre-blowjob too.

Good luck ya’ll

Stop, I Want To Get Off!

Name: Stefanni
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Gender:
Age: 28
Location: California

Dr Dick: I get off on making out or having sex in public spaces? Is this illegal? Am I Sick? Stefanni

All depends, Stefanni. Most jurisdictions, particularly there in the Golden State would

probably wink at a couple making out in public. I suppose you’d be pushing the envelope if the make-out session included heavy petting. And as to full-on sex in public…CumOn, honey, a 28 year-old female who can’t discern if fucking in public is illegal or not, needs to be in supervised care 24/7. You’re not sick, dearie, you’re retarded.

Good Luck!

Name: stefan
Gender:
Age: 24
Location: GA

Is it weird if I can suck my own dick? Sometimes I do it when I’m really horny?

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Reminds me of the old joke about two guys sittin’ around shootin’ the shit. When they notice a dog over yonder lickin his balls. One guy turns to the other and says; “I wish I could do that!” And the other guy says, “Gee, I hope the dog doesn’t bite!”

Is it weird that you can suck your own cock? Dude, it’s every man’s freakin’ dream! Anyone who is limber enough and/or has a big enough dick to blow himself — wins, IMHO.

Good Luck!

Name: Chris
Gender:
Age: 18
Location: TN

Dr Dick: I’m an uncut male, but am thinking about getting circumcised for the sake of appearance? I don’t like how my dick looks like an anteater. Is this safe? Any suggestions where or what type of doctor to consult? Should I go to a urologist? Plastic Surgeon? Thanks, Chris

Whoa, puppy, stop right there. This ain’t like getting a haircut or trimmin’ your toe nails or even gettin pierced. Circumcision is irreversible and it’s mighty risky too.

I need to say one thing from the outset. Circumcision is a particularly thorny issue for

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me. I firmly believe in the right of an adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body. Just as long as that person has taken enough time to think it through. None of this, “OMG, I got so drunk and then the next thing I know I have this tattoo emblazoned across my chest!”

At the same time I am a furious proponent of genital integrity. So you see my conflict.

There are, of course, medical reasons for adult circumcision. But having a foreskin that looks like an anteater is not one of them. Besides, no self-respecting physician is gonna start cutting on an 18 year old guy’s cock, just because the fella doesn’t like the way his unit looks.

Here’s what I want you to do, Chris. Take a really close look at your foreskin. I mean a really close look. What do you see? Veins, right? Now pinch your foreskin between

your thumb and forefinger as hard as you can. OUCH! Ya know why that is? Your foreskin is just chock-full of nerve endings, darlin’. Your foreskin contains about 240 feet of nerve fibers and tens of thousands of specialized nerve endings, which can feel the slightest pressure, the lightest touch, the smallest motion, the subtlest changes in temperature, and the finest gradations in texture.

In many ways, your foreskin is just like your eyelid. It covers, cleans, and protects your dickhead just like your eyelid covers, cleans, and protects your eye. Your foreskin keeps the surface of your dickhead healthy, clean, shiny, warm, soft, moist, and sensitive. And there are a whole lot of us who think a foreskin is like totally hot.

Your foreskin is a specialized, sensitive, and functional organ of touch. No other part of the body serves the same purpose. You may be too young to have noticed how pleasurable having an intact dick can be, how it enhances your sexual enjoyment. You

certainly have no frame of reference to the contrary. Therefore, I encourage you to hold on to your lace curtains till you have a little more experience. Besides, if you get cut it removes 50% of the skin of the cock. Do you really have that much to give away?

Finally, I’m of the mind that millions of years of evolution has provided us a covering for our dickhead for a purpose. And to remove it is simply unnatural.

So, Chris, keep your skin unless there’s a medical necessary to remove it!

Good Luck!

Name: Nick
Gender:
Age: 64
Location: Chicago

Are there any vitamins or minerals that will increase the amount of ejaculate? Thanks…your site is very cool and provides a great service!

Why, aren’t you a sweetheart, Nick. Thank you for your kind words.

There sure are loads and loads of companies out there who claim to have products that will increase the volume of a man’s ejaculate. When I search the web for products that promote male sexual enhancement of any sort, I do so as a skeptic. That’s how anyone should go about such a search. If you keep your eyes open and look beyond the pseudo-medical babble you’ll discover two things, as I did.

First, every site I visited advertises their product as a miracle medical breakthrough. Often there is a testimonial or two from some doctor (MD) or doctor (Ph.D.) who substantiates the claims being made. We never really discover who these professionals are, but we are encouraged to take their words as gospel…well because we all know that professional types would never knowingly try and hoodwink us. Exactly! And if you buy that we have some swampland in Louisiana for you too.

Each site also claimed that the product they hawk has undergone rigorous clinical studies proving its efficacy. But they never actually cite any of the studies in question or where these supposed studies were published. Here’s a tip, If there is a sited study and that study was sponsored by the company that produced the product, or is published by them, then you know you’re in trouble.

Second, inevitably each product makes the most outlandish claims. Take this one for instance. I’ll not disclose the product name, because that would be like shooting fish in a barrel. But this is actual copy from one site. Product X will…

  • Intensify ejaculatory contractions due to the strengthening of the vas deferens muscle (the muscle responsible for the expulsion of semen)
  • Increase volume of released ejaculate
  • Produce faster recovery for second orgasms
  • Improve semen quality
  • Produce more satisfying orgasms due to increased contractions and ejaculate
  • Improve prostate health
  • Improve Erectile Dysfunction caused by diabetes
  • Increase sexual well-being and vitality
  • Cure cancer
  • End world hunger

Ok, I made the last two up.

One only has to look closely at the claims to realize they’re hogwash. Besides, they don’t really tell us anything other than the product in question might somehow improve something that may have something to do with male virility. The same could be said about a glass of water. Please read on…

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The truth is, Nick, you can probably do just as well with a modest daily intake of zinc and lecithin supplements. For some, these nutrients have a noticeable effect on the volume of ejaculate. And they’re a whole lot cheaper and easier to get then the trumped-up stuff you see online.

Also keeping yourself hydrated also will also increase the volume of your spunk. It just

stands to reason, the more hydrated you are the easier and more efficiently all your glands responsible for secreting a watery substance, like your prostate, will have getting water from the bloodstream. If you’re dehydrated, your prostate will not have as much water available, and subsequently you’ll spooge considerably less.

Good Luck!

Short and Sweet

Here are a few more questions from the Anonymous Submission Bin.

  • May I remind you that it’s just as easy to call in your questions. Visit the The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. It’s a toll-free number and phone calls go directly to voicemail. Phone submissions are also more likely to show up in one of my podcasts…and you do want to be famous, don’t you?

Name: Jane
Gender: Female
Age: 43
Location: TN
I have been dating the same guy for 2 and half years. I have never had a guy not go down on me. But this guy will not get even get close to my vagina with his tongue. He loves me to give him a bj and sometimes I do it for hours making him feel good. I am far from ugly. I even have a boob job. I just don’t understand this.

Jane, your man is pussy-phobic. I’m surprised you haven’t run into his kind before. There’s a shit-load of them out there.

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It’s a masculine thing for some guys; they absolutely will not eat out a girl no matter what. It’s not like they tried it a couple of times and just don’t like it; they simply won’t fuckin’ try it because they’re manly men. Don’t ya just love it?

Jane, if you’re blowin’ this dude and he’s not reciprocating with some mighty fine cunt-lappin’; then you’re the fool, not him. He ‘s getting everything he wants and there’s no reason for him put out for you. Men are pigs, dear. So if you’re looking for more mutuality in the sex department, lay down the law. In the immortal words of Hannibal Lecter; “Quid pro quo, Clarice! Only don’t call your man Clarice.

Good Luck!

Name: nick
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Location: home
Is it ok to swallow your own cum?

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Yep, it’s perfectly fine. In fact, I recommend it…especially if you want your partner to swallow. Every man should know what his spunk tastes like, if you ask me. And before you ask; no, eating your own cum will not make you queer. Eating your own spooge and LOVING IT…that makes you gay. Just kidding!

If the idea of you ingesting your own seed disgusts you, as it does so many unenlightened men out there, then don’t go trying to feed it to anyone else. That would just indicate that you’re trying to denigrate partner with your cum, not gifting it to him and/or her.

Good Luck!

Name: Brian
Gender:
Age: 38
Location: UK
I like to jack off using other guys’ spunk. Is this risky?

Let’s review something I said in my first podcast. There is some risk involved with everything we do.cum_geyser9.jpeg

In that podcast, I initiated a little code — you know, like the festive rainbow colored homeland security codes we’ve all come to know love. I’ll be referring to this code a lot, so it bears repeating. The Dr Dick Health Risk Code is simple. 1) Advised — 2) Advised with Minimal Risk — 3) Advised with Caution and 4) Not Advisable.

Now back to you, Brian. Dr dick is gonna label jerkin off with another guys jizz — Advised . Cum, as we all know, can transmit the HIV virus if it’s present in the host. However, there’s virtually no risk for HIV transmission unless you have abrasions on your dick. And if you do have abrasions on your cock, you need to give your johnson a break till you heal.

Good Luck!

JIZZ, SPOOGE & SPUNK

Hey kids!

This month I have a bunch of correspondence to share with you that concerns one of my favorite topic, JIZZ. How sweet is that?

I just love it when ya’ll take the time to write me to tell me about your spunk. I like it for two reasons. First, it reassures me that ya’ll are paying attention to your sexual response cycle and that you continue to be fascinated with how your body works. These are really good things.

Second, well hell, I just get a kick outta hearin’ about your joy juice discoveries. Gosh, It warms the cockles of my poor old heart.

So keep it up, so to speak, and keep the good doctor informed. Who knows one day I may hear something I’ve never heard before.

Dear Dr. Dick,
I hope you don’t think I’m a freak or nothin, but here’s the deal. Oh shit man I never told nobody about this. I know you’re gonna freak. All right here goes…I eat my own ya know cum. Is this gonna make me sick? Is this like the weirdest thing you’ve ever heard? Don’t use my real name man just say seed-sucker ok.


Dude, I mean, seed-sucker,

bate27.jpgWhat the fuck? Are you tryin’ to make me sick? Are you some kind of pervert? Jeez, man, I just had lunch!

Sorry, SS, I just couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t help pilin’ on to the big old pile you’ve already piled on yourself.

Listen my friend, relax. It’s just one of your own bodily fluids. There ain’t nothin’ to get all freaked out about. Eatin’ your spooge will not make you sick. If you get off suckin’ up your own seed, knock yourself out. Have a ball! Oh wait, you already are! Whoops, there I go again.

Just think about it for a minute, there couldn’t possibly be anything in your cum that could harm big old you, cuz that would mean it would also be harmful to your cute little defenseless sperm. But it’s not, so there.

Technically speaking, your joy juice, semen to be more precise, is mostly water. There’s also a simple sugar to keep you’re hard workin’ sperm alive and well. And, the rest is pure protein. So look at it this way, your eating habits, so to speak, will require you to eat a little less tofu than the rest of us.

And, darlin’, this doesn’t even come close to being the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. You’d have to come up with something a tad bit more twisted then gobblin’ up your own goop.

Good luck,

Hey doc,
I have a major problem that I hope I could get some advice from you about. It’s about my sexual issue. Whenever I’m having sex, I couldn’t control my nerves. It means I couldn’t relax. And I come too fast and rapidly. I couldn’t have foreplay or enjoy sex. Do you know any medications or anything that would help me to prevent it? I guess my problem is what people called premature ejaculation. I can ejaculate rapidly, at first I thought it was really good. But later I figured out that wasn’t good. And that it’s a sickness. Please help me. Hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
Short Fuse

Dear Short Fuse,
Your concern is a familiar one. I hear it all the time, but it’s not a sickness. Lasting longer is a relatively easy thing to accomplish if that’s really what you want.
Let’s start with how you jack-off. If I had to guess these sessions are speedy affairs,ecstasy.jpg right? A quick wank just to relieve sexual tension is a good thing, but it can also interfere with your partnered pleasure later. Look at it this way, if you body is sensitized to cumin’ quickly like while jerkin’-off just relieve tension, then that’s how it will respond later, when you’re with a partner.
I suggest t that you reevaluate your self-pleasuring activity. Most, if not all, of you masturbation should be dedicated to full body masturbation. The object in this kind of masturbation is to play with the sex tension that develops in self-pleasuring. The object is decidedly not to have an orgasm.
Move the sexual energy all over your body. Touch and pleasure your whole body while stroking your cock. Make the pleasure last as long as you can. As you approach the point of ejaculation, stop stroking your dick and play with some other part of your body, tits, asshole, feet, etc. When the urge to cum subsides, you can start to stroke your dick again. Do this over and over till you can last 30 minutes.
The object here, I mean besides the joy of gettin’ off on your whole body, is to teach your body a different way to respond to cock stimulation. If you practice this method conscientiously it will increase your sexual stamina when you’re with a partner too.
When you’re having sex with your partner do the same thing as when you’re masturbating. Spread the sexual energy around. Don’t just be focused on your dick. Concentrate on stalling your orgasm. If you’re getting close to cumin’, pull out of penetration till you regain control, then reinsert.
This is going to take some practice, but I think it’s worth the effort. Once you mastered this there are other more advanced techniques that I can tell you about.

Good luck,

Doctor. My name is Juan. Please help me make my seamen taste better.


I love it, Juan.
spunk36.jpg You’re eating sailors?
Sheesh! God knows that the good doctor has have more than his share of seafood, if ya catch my drift, but he’s never complained about the taste. No, wait a minute, that’s not true; there was that one guy from Annapolis. Ahh, but I digress.
All joshing aside, Juan; is it safe to assume that you meant SEMEN and not SEAMEN?
Lucky for you, Juan, I do know a little something about making your spooge…spunkalicious.
Most of our ejaculate is produced in our prostate gland, not in our testicles, as most folks think. Only our sperm is produced in our testes. Our prostate gland is influenced by what we consume; eat, drink, smoke, things like that. So if you want to have sweet tasting jizz, for yourself and for others, watch what you consume. Oh, and drink lots of water too.
Here are some timely tips from folks in the know. I hear tell that eating celery and/or parsley can have an almost immediate effect on the taste of your cum. Some report that the effect can be as swift as 30 minutes. I am told that not only do celery and parsley freshen your breath, but they freshen your spunk as well. Hey, it’s like having two mints in one.
If your diet is heavy with meats and fish your joy juice will most likely have a bitter taste. A high concentration of dairy products creates a foul taste…so does all that coffee and nicotine. Lots of fruits and vegetables in your diet (except for asparagus that is) will produce a slightly sugary taste. And if you like your cocktails (the kind you drink, silly), it’s best to stick with high-quality, naturally fermented beers or liquor. The cheap stuff, the rotgut, will not only give you a wicked hangover, but will cause your spooge to have an extremely acidic taste.

Good luck

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