Category Archives: Female Ejaculation

BINGO!

Name: Wondering
Gender: Female
Age: 20
Location: US
Hello, I just discovered your loverly website just now and thought I would ask you a question that has been on my mind for a while. I seem to have a problem orgasming without stimulating my clitoris. I suppose that doesn’t really sound like a problem but it’s really starting to annoy me. I would like to be able to still enjoy an orgasm without having to stimulate my clit every time! I love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way? I mean I am aware of where my G-spot is and my boyfriend said he’ll be focusing more on hitting it “spot” on. There’s also another thing I have noticed, sometimes my boyfriend will hit my cervix and it hurts a bit, but is this even normal? Should he even be able to hit it? Or is there something abnormal going on here?

Let’s see, when you say you “love having sex and it feels super duper good but why can’t I climax that way?” Are you referring to full-on cock in cooter fucking when you say, “having sex”? The reason I ask is that not everyone means the same thing when they use that trite euphemism.

Since you’re not here to fill in the blanks, so to speak. I’ll assume you want to know why you can’t or haven’t yet had a vaginal orgasm. Before I answer, I just want to say that I hope you are not setting up an orgasmic dichotomy where there doesn’t need to be one. That would truly be unwise.

Ok, now my answer. I can’t really say why your not climaxing while you’re fucking. Other than an exclusively vaginal centered orgasm is a myth. The vast majority of women don’t have vaginal orgasms. In fact the degree of insensitivity inside a woman’s vagina is so high that Kinsey wrote in his seminal work, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female published back in 1953: “Among the women who were tested in our gynecologic sample, less than 14% were at all conscious that they had been touched.” That’s pretty remarkable, wouldn’t you say?

The vaginal orgasm myth is perpetuated, in part, by many a woman’s confusion and/or lack of knowledge about their own anatomy. Some women believe that an orgasm felt during fucking is centered in their cooch. This suggests to me that they aren’t being precise in locating the center of that orgasm. Other women believe in the vaginal orgasm myth because they think they need to conform to a male oriented notion of female sexuality — insertion…fucking = cuming. And that’s wrong, don’t cha know. Just ask all the preorgasmic women out there.

But ya know what? I don’t own a pussy my own self. All I can tell you is what I have learned from those people who actually have a honeypot. The people I’m referring to, we’ll call them females, tell me vaginal orgasms, mythological or not, may simply be dependent on a tone of a woman’s pelvic musculature. As amazing as pussies are, and they are amazing, if the muscles that surround them are not taught and toned enough, a fucking generated orgasm may elude the owner of said pussy.

Some women haven’t developed their PC muscle enough to cum through fucking alone. Are you doing your kegels, Wondering? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I suggest that you have some serious remedial research to do. You could start by reading around my site and listen to podcasts that feature information on our pubococcygeus muscle and kegel exercises. Check out the CATEGORIES pull down menu in the sidebar to your right. Scroll down till you see the main category — Sex Therapy.  Under that you will discover the subcategory — Kegels and PC muscle.

The elusive vaginal orgasm may also have to do with your partner’s cock, particularly the girth of his unit and opposed to its length. My women friends tell me that a thicker cock may have more of a chance triggering a vaginal orgasm then a pencil dick. No surprise there, I suppose. Position will also play a role. Why not give a bunch of different positions a try and see if they make a difference? You on top cowgirl style, or doggie style might work best. But it’s your coozie, my dear, and you ought to know it best.

As to your G-spot question. That’s another thing all together. I am so glad that you are familiar with your anatomy enough to have found your own personal G-spot. And it’s great to hear that you have an accommodating partner who is working on stimulating this sensitive area. Good for you both! However, while I wholeheartedly endorse and encourage your further investigations and sex play, I do have one caution. I share the concern of my women friends. We want you to avoid all the G-spot hype floating around in the popular culture these days. Most women have a good time with their G-spot exploration. They report that it is not particularly difficult to find, but it’s also much harder to pleasure. If a woman, you perhaps, gets it in your head that something amazing is supposed to happen with a G-spot stimulation, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. In the same way some women, you perhaps, set themselves up for disappointment if they buy into the myth of an exclusively vaginal generated orgasm.

I encourage you to see your genitals as a whole, not a bunch of separate parts that somehow work independently of one another. If your pussy is happy and your pussy is making you happy, is it really all that important how the happiness comes to be?

In comparison us men folk are not all that fussy. What gets us off; gets us off. I never hear from a guy who is disappointed because he’s having an exclusively prostate generated orgasm. They do happen to some men, but most of us aren’t the least bit concerned when they don’t happen to us. I also never hear from a guy who thinks he should be orgasmic through manipulation of his balls alone. That can happen too, but we’re not holding our breath for that.

What I do hear from guys is that we often need a particular kind of dick-oriented stimulation to get us off. And this is where the men folk and the women folk are much alike. You, like us, probably need a particular kind of stimulation to get you off. Be it vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, or whatever. If you acknowledge your genitals as a composite of parts that work together to bring you joy, then you’ll be less likely to be swayed by the claims, hype and misinformation about female sexual response.

Finally, regarding the issue of your boyfriend hitting your cervix. Yeah, that’ll hurt, don’t ‘cha know. I’d be willing to guess that he’s in the wrong position and being too athletic in his pumping when that happens. If he’s bumping your cervix, but you like the depth and athleticism of his manly thrusts, simply change position. That should remedy the problem.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

A Whole Lot Of Wonderful!

Hey sex fans,

One of the real treasures of the Pacific Northwest is the marvelous Center for Sex Positive Culture right here in the Emerald City. The Center and its parent foundation offer events like workshops and discussion groups that are open to anyone 18+. You don’t need to be a member of the Center to attend. And many events are free! Visit them on their website HERE!

So ya know how they say that good things come in threes? Well this is particularly true this month. And I am proud to bring you a little taste of what’s in store for you and me at The Center. Check out this outstanding lineup of upcoming events.

The Feminine Fountain: Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

This coming Friday, October 22, 2010
8:00 PM to 10:00 PM
Annex
$35 (members receive $10 voucher for the WERK lounge that night)

Join female ejaculation expert and author, Deborah Sundahl, for this amazing workshop. She is a female ejaculation pioneer. Her book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot, and her video line titled: The Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series, draw on her 22 years experience, research, and instruction on this important topic of female sexuality. Come benefit from her wisdom.

Learn about female ejaculation’s ancient history, current scientific studies, where the G-spot is located, how to have a G-spot orgasm, and how to get this wonderful feminine fountain flowing! Open to both men and women, Deborah’s Power Point lecture with pictures, movie clips and Q&A will tell you all you need to know about female ejaculation and the G-spot.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

An Intimate Evening with Author Christopher Ryan

Sunday, October 24
6:00 PM to 8:00 PM
Main Space
$10-25 sliding scale (no one will be turned away)

Co-author of Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan, will make a special appearance at The Center to talk about sex and nonmonogamy, and sex and hunters and gathers, and sex and penises, and sex and orgasms, and well sex, sex and more sex. Sex at Dawn is the book everyone is talking about; it’s the book that is turning sexual scholarship on its head.

I’ll be there, so look for me and say hi.

Be sure to bring your copy of Sex at Dawn for Christopher to sign. Don’t have a copy yet? Not to worry; The Center will have books for sale.

For more information on this event, click HERE!

Kinky Carnival Returns

October 29, 2010
7pm until midnight
$25 advance/$30 door/$100 Gold VIP

Ya wanna start your Halloween weekend off with a bang? I thought so! Well I have just the thing for you. The sixth annual Kinky Carnival is heading your way.

Imagine an event where you can sample a load of delightfully edgy sex stuff. The Kinky Carnival is designed for those who are new to sex-positivity and BDSM. It offers a way for you to realize your fantasies at an easy pace and in a safe space. The Carnival will feature the “Ask” booth, where attendees are invited to ask questions about the activities they see. Other booths include “Zap”, “Pierce”, “Submit”, “Sensation”, “Flog”, “Rub”, “Mmm”, and “Ground”.

If you’re a budding pervert, or you’d like to be, or know someone who is, this evening is made for you. Costumes are welcomed, but not required.

For more information on this event, click HERE! For tickets, click HERE!

More of Megan Andelloux – Podcast #222 – 07/28/10

Hey sex fans,

My friend and colleague, everyone’s favorite Sexual Health Educator, Megan Andelloux. is back with us this week with more of her signature SEX WISDOM. I am so happy to have her here again this week for Part 2 of our conversation about what’s new and exciting in the field of sexology.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 or our conversation that appeared here last week at this time, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the site’s search function to your right; type in Podcast #220 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Megan and I discuss:

  • The sex “addiction” controversy.
  • Celebrity sex scandals.
  • Sex toys — health concerns and green toys.
  • Circumcision.
  • The G-spot debate.
  • Female ejaculation.
  • Age appropriate sex education.
  • Sex and aging.
  • Her sexual heroes.
  • The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health

Be sure to check out Megan’s fun and informative website HERE! And to learn more about her nonprofit organization, The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, on their website HERE

See another slideshow of Megan & friends at work and play.

Click on the thumbnails below.

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BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: : Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #166 — 11/09/09

Hey sex fans,

We take a short break from The Erotic Mind series today so that I can attend to BW-showerthe backlog of messages from the sexually worrisome that clogs my in-box and voicemail.  Today’s show is all Q&A, people.  So make yourself comfortable it’s gonna be a very interesting ride.

Oh, and to make things really interesting, as well as satisfy a friend suppressed desire to dole out sex advice.  (Apparently he thinks this gig is a cakewalk.) I’m gonna let him have the first words of advice on today’s questions.  My friend, who wishes to be known as Uncle Iodine, claims to enjoy the sadistic Samaritan rush of helping people.  Well we’ll just see about that.

Among today’s correspondents there are:

  • Rachel’s orgasms are all wet.
  • Megan’s guy has a bent dick.  What’s up with that?
  • Devin has foreskin problems.  Will this affect the size of his dick?
  • Louise wants to know why guys like to cum on their partners.
  • Joe’s wife is regularly peggin’ the shit out of him, and he wants more!
  • Abe and Sandy both have things stuck in their asses.  WTF?
  • Ken can’t tell if he’s into boys or girls.
  • Chester wants a pill that’ll grow his dick bigger.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes.  You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by:  Eden Fantasys

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

The Coast Is Clear

Name:  ??
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Location: Miami
I have two unrelated questions: 1. I love anal sex but am concerned that as I age I run the risk of eventually becoming incontinent due to the sexual activity down there. Is white_sneakersthis a valid concern or will my sphincter remain tight enough to hold everything in? I’ve read conflicting opinions. 2. My boyfriend likes the twinks. We’ve been together for about four years and even though I’m only a year younger (he‚s 35), part of the reason he’s attracted to me is my youthful appearance. We have a wonderful relationship — supportive and loving and the sex is great! We even have a semi-open relationship, which is working fine for us so far. However, I’m concerned that at some point he may try something with someone under 18. He enjoys visiting those Barely Legal type porn sites (which hold no interest for me and look illegal). I’ve discussed my concerns with him, and he says I have nothing to worry about because he’d never do anything. But on the other hand, he’s not the most disciplined person in the world. I’m worried that if the opportunity presented itself he wouldn’t be able to resist. If that happened, it would then present emotional and moral problems not to mention legal issues not just for him but (I’m assuming) for me as well. I guess
I’m not sure what my question is. I know the gay community (and really the world) is obsessed with youth, but does this sound like more than that?  Do I have a legitimate concern, or am I being a prude? Obviously you don’t know my boyfriend, but I can’t discern if he just enjoys the fantasy of a younger man/boy or if this could become a problem. If it’s just a fantasy then I have no problem letting him have his fun. Heck, he can fuck all the 20 year olds he wants as far as I’m concerned. (Maybe this stems from my insecurity of growing older even though he insists he will love me even when I’m old and grey). But, if this is more than a fantasy then what do I do?
Thanks, Dr. Dick! Your faithful reader

Let’s address your two concerns in turn.  First, regarding your ass sex question.  Your typical butt-pirate has nothing to worry about in terms of becoming incontinent.  However, you oughta do what every power bottom does to stay in tip-top shape down there — Kegel exercises.

Don’t know kegel exercises from a hole in your head?  Not to worry.  I’ve written and spoken so much about this timely topic, whicht applies to both men and women, I barely have the energy to repeat myself.  So I won’t!

All ya gotta do is use the SEARCH function in the sidebar to your right.  Simply type in the keyword “kegels” and PRESTO!  Just like magic, all my posting and podcasts that include that topic are displayed.  You can read and listen till your heart’s content.

To your other concern, the one about your BF’s interest in the barely-legal crowd; there’s not much you can do about this one way or another.  Most of the adult people I know who have a thing for the young ones keep it on a purely fantasy level.  Those who stray off the daydream path and onto a course of actual pursuit find themselves in all kinds of jeopardy.  Not lest of which is the ridiculous nature of the quest.  Sounds to me like your BF already knows all of this.  But if he doesn’t, it’ll be he who pays, not you.

My advice to you is; take him at his word and worry not.

Name: james
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: sutton in ashfield
I have large veins that stick out on my testicles are these anything to worry about

Some guys have smooth balls; some guys have hairy balls; some guys have veiny balls and some guy’s balls are all shriveled up. That’s all balls_uncutthere is to it.

As we age some of us develop varicose veins in our lower extremities.  It’s the force of gravity, don’t cha know.  Varicose veins can occur in our nut sack too.  Sometimes this is associated with wearing a too tight cockring for too long a time.  But it is just as likely to be an issue of genetics.  Not much you can do about it and there is no real danger.

If you aren’t experiencing any discomfort in your family jewels, things are probably ok and I wouldn’t worry.  However, if you are anxious about this, or there is soreness or tenderness or you have other concerns; take your huevos to an MD and have ‘em checked out.  Simple as all that!

Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Age: 47
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!

Nipple play is fun for both women and men.  There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples.  There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices.  All of these systems are very popular.  Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples.  Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.

1 2 5 8 7 6

Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00

If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours.  If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples.  Is there a risk or is there danger?  Not unless you overdo it.

Name: Tara
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Location: Hoboken, NJ
I got this cute guy friend who’s asked if he can come on my vacation to Bangor, Maine (Stephen King’s home!). So I asked this guy, who’s single, if he wants one bed or two. He said it didn’t matter, so I booked one bed at the hotel. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me? I’m dumping down a ton of money, so I hope so!

How the hell should I know?  He could be hot to get in your pants, or he might simply need an all expense paid holiday.

Why not just ask him.  What’s with the coy routine?  Of course, you could do like the hippies used to do and tell your cute guy friend — “Ass, gas or grass!  No one rides for free.”

gasgrassass

Hi, I have a question that I can not ask anyone else so I found your web site and would really appreciate your advice. Ok, so when I have sex sometimes instead of cuming when I have an orgasm, I pee. Sometimes I do cum though. But when it feels really good and I release, I release pee instead of cum. I just want to know if this happens to other people, and why this happens. And can I fix this. What can I do to make this not happen? I don’t like it happening. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to have pee on his penis. Please, please, please take the time to reply to me. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.
—   Anonymous.

Are you sure that what you are experiencing is pee?  Could it possibly be that you are ejaculating?  For a good deal of information on this, check out the site called The Clitoris.

Of course, lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum.  In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.

If indeed you are peeing when you cum, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence.

Stress incontinence can happen just about any time.  Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, fucking crreampie1can all trigger this type of incontinence.

Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women.  While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.

Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator.  It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.

While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time.  Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles.  They also weaken with age.  And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.

So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution?  Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course.  (See my response to the first correspondent above.)

Good luck ya’ll

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