Location: New Jersey
I have a problem that is really fucking with my head, causing all sorts of performance anxiety and, long story short; I’m still a virgin at age 20. And because of it, a few failed sexual encounters. I can get a raging boner when I’m wacking off alone, but I feel humiliated by my dick whenever I get the chance to show it off. I have what’s known as a “skin bridge.” I’ve asked a doctor about plastic surgery to correct it, and he told me it originated when my circumcision didn’t heal correctly. (And the statute of limitations to sue the bastard expired long before I knew he was at fault.) Anyway, now I’m looking at a choice between this freakish tunnel of skin that goes halfway around my cock and a different, who-knows-what-kind-of-hideous scar might result from a second surgery. The situation is ruining my life. Maybe it’s the root of some psychological complex driving me toward homosexuality too, but don’t worry about that. If I still can’t get it up for a girl after I find some peace of mind on this issue, then I’ll drop the bi attitude and come out as gay no problem. What’s your two cents on the surgery? I realize this might be one of your toughest questions to date.
This isn’t a particularly tough question at all. And you want my two cents? Here it is: get over it! I mean, pup, really? Skin bridges from botched circumcisions are not particularly uncommon. In fact, I know two guys right here in Seattle who have the very same thing and one is a former porn star. Trust me, his skin bridge did not get in the way of him waving his thang all over the place, don’t cha know.
Here’s a tip: stay away from the surgeon. More cutting on your willie ain’t the answer.
Here’s the thing, if, when you drop trou, and your audience, male or female, gets a gander at your johnson; and they point and shriek, “OMG, that thing is hideous! Please, please, please put it away;” then I think you’ve got a legitimate problem. However, if no one does that, ever, then your shame and humiliation is all in your head. You’ve probably created a mountain out of a molehill. But, if by chance, you think I’m being unfair, or cavalier about your concern, then take a photo of your hideously deformed wiener and send it to me for my evaluation.
Now there are two ways to go in this instance. The first option is to grow up and realize that your “condition,” if you can call it that, falls within the natural variance of dick size and shape. The second option is to capitalize on the very thing that makes you different. Ya know how some guys have their dick pierced and then put a ring or rod through the piercing, just to doll things up a bit? Well, you already have a natural piercing. Why not take your cock down to your local piercing parlor and get it fitted for a nice piece of genital jewelry. Then you can say with pride that you adorned what you once though as a defect and made your cock even more beautiful than it was before.
Finally I have to ask; what’s up with the…if I don’t get this fixed; I’m gonna go all queer. You think gay guys are less self-conscious about their equipment than straight men? If ya do, you are living in a dream world, darling.
Today I return to a series I started back in October. (You can Find the first two parts of this series HERE and HERE!) As you may recall from back then, a friend of mine, who is writing a book about male sexuality for women, asked me if I could be her go-to-guy for a bunch of questions she had about pleasuring a man which she wants to include in her book. I think it is only fair that you, my loyal audience, should get this information before anyone else does.
COCK & BALLS
Yep, it’s slang for an actual condition — congested prostate or vasocongestion caused by prolonged sexual arousal. A dude’s balls and prostate will ache if an ejaculation/orgasm doesn’t dissipate the trapped blood that fills the vessels in his cock and surrounding genital area during sexual arousal.
During sexual arousal, a guys balls can increase in size 25-50 percent. This is particularly true for younger men; wouldn’t you just know it.
Are there any “secret spots” on the male body that we should know about, that aren’t on the penis or in the butt?
You know those two things on a guy’s chest? I think they’re called nipples. Some men’s nipples are hot wired to their dick. I know several men who are orgasmic through nipple play alone. Any man can learn to sensitize and find pleasure in their nipples or other parts of their body as well.
Are there any magical/mystical techniques that gay men have mastered that straight women should know about?
There sure are, but us gay men are sworn to secrecy about this. And I’m not about to break this sacred code of silence. However, every straight woman should have a good gay male friend that she can ask about things like this. Most gay men are not as discreet about this as I am. They will gladly tell you what they do to pleasure their men if you ask them. Get a gay friend, if you don’t already have one, and have the talk. You will be amazed.
What exactly is the Frenulum? Is there any biological purpose to it? Why is it so sensitive? And what should a girl do with it?
Actually a frenulum is a small fold of skin tissue that prevents an organ in the body from moving to far from a particular location. There are frenula at several points of the body, including several in the mouth, some in the digestive tract, a couple in the vagina, and, my favorite, the one on a guy’s cock.
This is an elastic band of tissue under the dickhead that connects to the foreskin, and helps cover the dickhead when not aroused. Sadly, the frenulum can be partially or even totally removed during circumcision.
Think of the frenulum as a guy’s feeble excuse for a clit. It’s loaded with nerve endings. If a chick wants to know what to do with a frenulum, all she has to do is ask herself what she likes having done to her clit.
Loads of guys like having their balls stretched. Guys have been stretching their balls for just about as long as us men folk have had balls to stretch…and that’s a mighty long time. The only thing that screams male virility and potency as much as a big dick is a pair of big low hangin’ nuts. In fact in many societies throughout history a man’s cajones were considered sacred. They were revered as objects of religious, social, cultural, and even magical power. In fact in ancient Rome, when a man would take an oath he would grab his balls, just like we put our hand on a bible today. In fact, some etymologists believe that’s where we got the word, “testify,” from the Latin: testis.
Men discovered early on that ball stretching was both erotic fun and relatively easy to do. Just to clarify…when I say ball stretching, what I really mean is sack (scrotum) stretching. One cannot really increase the size of his balls (testicles). Soon men in many societies were stretching their junk to call attention to their manliness. With the help of a stretching device of one sort or another, and there are several, men were able to lengthen their balls with very little effort.
A gal can help a guy do this. The simplest method, and you don’t even need no stinkin’ equipment for this, is called the manual method. All ya do is give your man’s huevos a nice sustained tug. Alternate your tugging with some nice ball massage. Over time this will help to lengthen his ball sack because you’re manually forcing it downward. The more you pull and the longer you pull, the more you will affect the hang of your guy’s balls. It’s also pretty sexually stimulating too.
This method is particularly effective after a hot bath or shower. His skin will be at its most pliable then. This method is safe and effective and even a rank amateur can pull it off, so to speak. This’ll be fun and pleasurable all on its one. Your guy will love that you are paying his balls some attention while you’re jerkin or suckin him off. And that will make him and his nuts much happier.
What are your thoughts on circumcision? We’ve read that it actually can cut off important nerve endings — is there any truth behind this?
As to adult circumcision, I need to say one thing from the outset. It’s a particularly thorny issue for me. I firmly believe in the right of an adult to augment, adorn and embellish, or in any other way customize his or her body. Just as long as that person has taken enough time to think it through. At the same time I am a furious proponent of genital integrity. So you see my conflict.
There are, of course, medical reasons for adult circumcision.
Take a really close look at a foreskin. I mean a really close look. What do you see? Veins, right? If you pinch a foreskin between your thumb and forefinger as hard as you can; what happens? OUCH! Ya know why that is? A foreskin is just chock-full of nerve endings, darlin’. A foreskin contains about 240 feet of nerve fibers and tens of thousands of specialized nerve endings, which can feel the slightest pressure, the lightest touch, the smallest motion, the subtlest changes in temperature, and the finest gradations in texture.
In many ways, a foreskin is just like one’s eyelid. It covers, cleans, and protects a guy’s dickhead just like one’s eyelid covers, cleans, and protects one’s eye. A foreskin keeps the surface of a guy’s dickhead healthy, clean, shiny, warm, soft, moist, and sensitive. And there are a whole lot of us who think a foreskin is totally hot.
A foreskin is a specialized, sensitive, and functional organ of touch. No other part of the body serves the same purpose. Besides, if it’s cut off, it’ll remove 50% of the skin of the cock.
Finally, I’m of the mind that millions of years of evolution has provided men a covering for our dickhead for a purpose. And to remove it is simply unnatural.
Hey Seattle sex fans!
Join me and my friends, Jim Duvall and Jeff Hedgepeth on Monday evening, 10/14, for the world premiere of DICK: THE DOCUMENTARY
A lively panel discussion, featuring Jim, Jeff and I, along with the film’s producer, Chiemi Karasawa, will follow directly after the show.
If you have a dick or know someone who does, this is the documentary for you!
Tickets available HERE!
BE THERE OF BE SQUARE!
Hey sex fans! Welcome back.
That internationally famous sexologist, sex educator, author, relationship expert, advice columnist, and television and radio personality Dr. Yvonne Fulbright is back with us today for Part 2 of her turn on the SEX WISDOM show. And that means I get to ask her all the questions I didn’t get to last week. So yay for that!
But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this show, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #389 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.
Yvonne and I discuss:
- Sex coach/sex therapy;
- Sexual performance concerns for women — preorgasmia;
- Performance anxiety;
- Sexual performance concerns for men — premature ejaculation;
- Masturbation and self-pleasuring;
- Expanding our sexual repertoire;
- Sex trends — circumcision;
- Erection enhancers;
- The G-spot debate;
- Sex play;
- Who inspires her and her sexual heroes.
Click on the book covers below for more information about Yvonne’s books.
BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!
Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.
Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: SPUNK Lube.