Category Archives: Body Issues

Why are some women never able to orgasm? A gynaecologist explains

Dr Sherry Ross says there has long been a gender bias in the way women’s sexual dysfunction has been treated compared to men’s

 

By Olivia Blair

Despite modern society being able to openly discuss female sexuality, there remains a number of existing taboos.

One of the most glaring is female orgasms. Women are rarely taught about the intricate details of their anatomy and often work these things out through their own experimenting.

What is the best way to get an orgasm? How often should I have one? Should I be able to have one during penetrative intercourse? Why have I never had one? – questions not uncommon to hear among small friendship groups of women over a bottle of wine.

Dr Sherry A Ross, an LA-based gynaecologist with 25 years experience aims to educate with a complete guide to the vagina in her new book She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. Period.

In the foreword of her book, Dr Sherry notes that “talking about the mighty V outside of doctor’s offices and bedrooms has remained a major taboo” and devoted an entire chapter to the female orgasm. The Independent asked the gynaecologist and obstetrician all the questions about female orgasms that are rarely spoken about.

Why might some women never orgasm?

Attitudes regarding sex, sexuality and gender vary greatly between different cultures and religions. Certain sexual practices, traditions and taboos are passed down through generations, leaving little to the cause of female pleasure or imagination.

For some women, finding and/or enjoying sexual intimacy and sex is difficult, if not impossible. Research suggests that 43% of women report some degree of difficulty and 12% attribute their sexual difficulties to personal distress. Unfortunately, sexual problems worsen with age, peaking in women 45 to 64.  For many of these women the problems of sexual dysfunction are treatable, which is why it is so important for women to share their feelings and concerns with a health care provider.

Unfortunately, there has been a history of “gender injustice” in the bedroom. Women have long been ignored when it comes to finding solutions to sexual dysfunction. In short, there are twenty-six approved medications for male erectile dysfunction and zero for women. Clearly, little attention has been paid to the sexual concerns of women, other than those concerns that involve procreation.

How many women might never orgasm?

During my 25 years in private practice, I’ve met a number of women in their 30s, 40s and 50s who have never even had an orgasm. In fact, 10 to 20% of all women have never experienced one.

Issues related to sex are not talked about enough even with a health care provider. Let’s just start by saying, 65 per cent of women are embarrassed to say the word vagina and 45 per cent of women never talk about their vagina with anyone, not even with their doctor.

Some patients say they have pain with sex, have problems with lubrication, don’t have a sex drive or don’t enjoy sex.  My first question is “Are you having problems in your relationship?”, “Do you like you partner?” , “Are you able to have an orgasm?”, “ Do you masturbate?” These open-ended questions tend to bring out sexual dysfunction including the inability to have an orgasm.

There is a great deal of embarrassment and shame when a woman admits she has never experienced an orgasm.

Is the inability to not orgasm normal?

The inability not to have had an orgasm can reflect women’s inability to know they own anatomy and may not be a disorder at all. In a survey of women aged 16-25, half could not find the vagina on a medical diagram. A test group of university- aged women didn’t fare much better with one third being unable to find the clitoris on a diagram. Clearly, if you can’t find it, how are you going to seek enjoyment from it?

Women must first understand what brings them pleasure and in their pursuit of happiness they have to understand where their clitoris is and how to stimulate it. Masturbation is a skill.  It has to be learned, just as walking, running, singing and brushing your teeth.

What is an orgasm disorder and how would you categorise one? 

The inability to have an orgasm falls under the category of Female Sexual Dysfunction of which there are five main problems: low libido or hypoactive sexual desire disorder, painful sex, sexual arousal disorder, an aversion to sex and the inability to orgasm.

Hypoactive sexual disorder, the most common female sexual dysfunction, is characterised by a complete absence of sexual desire. For the 16 million women who suffer from this, the factors involved may vary since sexual desire in women is much more complicated than it is for men. Unlike men, women’s sexual desire, excitement and energy tend to begin in that great organ above the shoulders, rather than the one below the waist. The daily stresses of work, money, children, relationships and diminished energy are common issues contributing to low libido in women. Other causes may be depression, anxiety, lack of privacy, medication side effects, medical conditions such as endometriosis or arthritis, menopausal symptoms or a history of physical or sexual abuse.

You are the person in charge of your vagina and clitoris. First and foremost, get to know your female parts intimately. Understanding your sexual response is a necessary health and wellness skill. Make mastery of that skill a priority.

Complete Article HERE!

What your gynecologist wishes you would do

By Linda S. Mihalov, MD, FACOG

No matter a woman’s age or how comfortable she is with her gynecologist, she may still be unsure about a few things — like which symptoms are worth mentioning, how often to make an appointment and how to prepare for an exam.

Based on my 30 years of providing gynecologic care to women of all ages, I thought it would be helpful to provide a few tips about how to make the most of your care visits.

Keep track of your menstrual cycle

Dr. Linda Mihalov

Menstruation is a monthly recurrence in women’s lives from early adolescence until around the age of 51, when menopause occurs. Because of the routine nature of this biological process, it’s easy to become complacent about tracking your periods. Thankfully, there are numerous smartphone apps that help make tracking periods easy.

Keeping track of your period is important for numerous health-related reasons. A missed period is usually the first sign of pregnancy. Determining the due date of a pregnancy starts from the date of the last menstrual period. Most forms of birth control are not 100 percent effective, and an unplanned pregnancy is best recognized as soon as possible.

Conversely, women attempting to get pregnant can use period tracking to learn when they are most fertile, which may greatly increase the chances of conception.

In addition, a menstrual cycle change can indicate a gynecologic problem, such as polycystic ovarian syndrome, or even uterine cancer. It is also often the first obvious symptom of health issues that have no obvious connection to the reproductive organs. When a regular menstrual cycle becomes irregular, it may indicate a hormonal or thyroid issue, liver function problems, diabetes or a variety of other health conditions. Women also often miss periods — or experience menstrual changes — when adopting a new exercise routine, gaining or losing a lot of weight or experiencing stress.

One late, early or missed period is not necessarily reason for alarm. But if menstrual irregularity is accompanied by other symptoms, a woman should schedule an appointment with her gynecologic care provider.

Get the HPV vaccine

Human papillomavirus, or HPV, is a very common virus. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 80 million Americans — about one in four — are currently infected. About 14 million people, including teens, become infected with HPV each year. Most people who contract the virus will clear it from their systems without treatment, but some will go on to develop precancerous or even cancerous conditions from the infection.

The HPV vaccine is important because it protects against cancers caused by the infection. It can reduce the rate of cervical, vaginal and vulvar cancers in women; penile cancer in men; and anal cancer, cancer of the back of the throat (oropharynx), and genital warts in both women and men.

This vaccine has been thoroughly studied and is extremely safe. Also, scientific research has not shown that young people who receive the vaccine are more prone to be sexually active at an earlier age.

The HPV vaccine is recommended for preteen girls and boys at age 11 or 12 so they are protected before ever being exposed to the virus. HPV vaccine also produces a more robust immune response during the preteen years. If you or your teen have not gotten the vaccine yet, talk with your care provider about getting it as soon as possible.

The CDC now recommends that 11- to 12-year-old girls and boys receive two doses of HPV vaccine — rather than the previously recommended three doses — to protect against cancers caused by HPV. The second dose should be given six to 12 months after the first dose.

Teen girls and boys who did not start or finish the HPV vaccine series when they were younger, should get it now. People who received some doses in the past should only get doses that they missed. They do not need to start the series over again. Anyone older than 14 who is starting the HPV vaccine series needs the full three-dose regimen.

Young women can get the HPV vaccine through age 26, and young men can get vaccinated through age 21. Also, women who have been vaccinated should still have cervical cancer screenings (pap smears) according to the recommended schedule.

Do not put off having children

Fertility in women starts to decrease at age 32 and that decline becomes more rapid after age 37. Women become less fertile as they age because they begin life with a fixed number of eggs in their ovaries. This number decreases as they grow older. Eggs also are not as easily fertilized in older women as they are in younger women. In addition, problems that can affect fertility — such as endometriosis and uterine fibroids — become more common with increasing age.

Older women are more likely to have preexisting health problems that may affect their or their baby’s health during pregnancy. For example, high blood pressure and diabetes are more common in older women. If you are older than 35, you also are more likely to develop high blood pressure and related disorders for the first time during pregnancy. Miscarriages are more common in older pregnant women. Losing a pregnancy can be very distressing at any age, but perhaps even more so if it has been challenging to conceive.

So, women who are considering parenthood should not put off pursuing pregnancy for too long or it may become quite challenging.

See your gynecologist for an annual visit

For women to maintain good reproductive and sexual health, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that they visit a gynecologist for an exam about once a year. Generally, women should have their first pap test at age 21, but there may be reasons to see a gynecologic care provider earlier than that if there is a need for birth control or periods are troublesome, for instance. Although pap tests are no longer recommended every year, women should still see their provider annually for a gynecologic health assessment. This may or may not involve a pelvic exam.

Other reasons to visit a gynecologist include seeking treatment for irregular periods, sexually transmitted diseases, vaginal infections and menopause. Women who are sexually active or considering it can also visit a gynecologist to learn more about contraceptives.

During each visit, the gynecologist usually asks about a woman’s sexual history and menstrual cycle. The gynecologist may also examine the woman’s breasts and genitals. Understandably, a visit like this can cause discomfort among some women. However, periodic gynecological exams are very important to sexual and reproductive health and should not be skipped. The patient’s anxiety can be significantly decreased if she knows what to expect from the visit. Prepared with the knowledge of what actually occurs during an annual exam, women often find it can be a straightforward, rewarding experience.

There are several things women should do to prepare for a gynecological exam, including:

  • Try to schedule your appointment between menstrual periods
  • Do not have intercourse for at least 24 hours before the exam
  • Prior to the appointment, prepare a list of questions and concerns for your gynecologist
  • Since the gynecologist will ask about your menstrual cycle, it will be helpful to know the date that your last period started and how long your periods usually last

The pelvic exam includes evaluation of the vulva, vagina, cervix and the internal organs including the uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries. Appearance and function of the bowel and bladder will also be assessed.

The gynecologic provider will determine whether a pap test is indicated, and order other tests as necessary, including tests for sexually transmitted infections, mammograms and screening blood work or bone density studies. Even a woman who has previously undergone a hysterectomy and, as a result, no longer needs a pap test can still benefit from visiting her gynecologist.

Primary care providers, including family practitioners and nurse practitioners, internists and pediatricians can also provide gynecological care.

Menopause

Menopause can be a challenging time. Changes in your body can cause hot flashes, weight gain, difficulty sleeping and even memory loss. As you enter menopause, you may have many questions you want to discuss with your gynecologist. It is important that you trust your gynecologist so you can confide in them and ask them uncomfortable questions. The more open you are, the better they can guide you toward the right treatment.

Complete Article HERE!

Extra weight can dent sexual confidence

 

by Maureen Matthews

Q: I’m a larger lad than I was a few years ago. Even though my boyfriend still says he finds me attractive and wants to sleep with me, I no longer have any interest. How can I learn to be confident in the bedroom?

A: Carrying extra weight can dent a person’s sexual self-confidence, regardless of their gender and sexual orientation, but the precise nature of the negative self-talk can vary from person to person.

Melbourne sex therapist Dr Christopher Fox (sexlifetherapy.com.au) says gay men are often confronted with cultural images of svelte, muscular, hairless young men. “This is not the only image in the gay community. ‘Bears’ [hairy, and often larger men] also feature. Yet, like the straight community, youth and beauty is still a focus.”

When we carry a mental template of what a “sexy” person looks like, even if we know, intellectually, that it is an unrealistic and unachievable ideal, we cannot help feeling we fall short by comparison, which causes us to feel ashamed of our bodies.

Carrying weight can impact on your self-esteem, Dr Fox says. “The self is an important aspect of us feeling sexy. The way we view our bodies also impacts on our feeling sexy. When our sense of self [esteem] and our body are both challenged, our levels of desire, and of feeling sexy, are also challenged.”

Once low self-esteem and negative self-talk have become entrenched, they can lead to a general feeling of ennui, and a shutting down of the senses. That sluggish, dulled mindset makes it difficult to truly enjoy all of life’s pleasure, but it particularly affects the libido. One of the first challenges you face is to find the motivation to make any changes, no matter how small. So make yourself move your body.

I am not talking about going to the gym, taking up yoga, or doing anything with a view to losing weight. Simply get your system turning over, like warming up the engine of your car. Research has shown that physical activity, even merely going for a walk, releases the feel-good hormones, endorphins. You will start to feel a little more positive, which will help you to take another step.

Fox warns that learning to accept our bodies and ourselves is not an easy process. “It is an achievable process though,” he says. “On an immediate level I think it is important for you to challenge your thinking about yourself. Your boyfriend says he finds you attractive and he wants to sleep with you. Consider how he looks at you. Maybe he sees something you don’t. This is important to consider.”

When we feel bad about ourselves we often react to compliments with “deflection”. We challenge every compliment, or counter a positive observation by drawing attention to a perceived flaw, “but what about my gut!”. This can feel like rejection to your partner, and, if you do it too often, he might either give up, or start to agree with you.

Practise accepting compliments and endearments graciously, with a simple “thank you”, even if that inner voice is screaming out objections. Let the positive words land, and allow yourself to enjoy them.

It can be difficult to make changes without support, and another good way to begin would be to seek professional assistance. Fox suggests finding someone who has experience in working with gay men, body image and sexuality.

“Through therapy we would explore how your changing body impacts on your sense of self and your body image,” he says. “We would explore how you could develop tools and strategies to challenge your own perceptions.”

Remember that although sex and arousal involve elements of fantasy, the true enjoyment comes from the lived experience in the moment. Car lovers might drool over images of unattainable Ferraris and Bugattis, but the pleasure of enjoying the car that belongs to them, that they can drive, and polish, and experience, is the real pleasure.

Complete Article HERE!

Lack Of Penis Bone In Humans Linked To Monogamous Relationships, Quick Sex

Scientists reveal why humans do not have a penis bone.

By

Many of us call erections “boners,” although there’s no actual bone in the penis. This bone has been the subject of many debates as several animals have them in diverse sizes and lengths, but humans don’t. Evolutionary scientists at the University College London suggest this strange anomaly is a consequence of monogamy and quick sex.

The penis bone, also known as the “baculum,” evolved in mammals more than 95 million years ago, and was spotted in the first primates that emerged about 50 million years ago, according to the researchers. The baculum became larger in some animals and smaller in others. For example, in the walrus, it can be two feet long, while in a monkey it’s about the length of a human fingernail.

Previous research has found the penis bone increases the potential duration of intercourse, and the frequency with which sex can take place. A lioness can copulate 100 times per day, sometimes with only four-minute intervals, but has just a 38 percent conception rate. This means males need to have better sexual stamina to achieve the best chance of paternity.

So, why do humans lack a penis bone?

The recent study, published in Proceedings of the Royal Society, found a link between penis bone length, promiscuity, and sex duration. Some species have longer penis bones because they engage in “prolonged intromission,” which means the act of penetration lasts for more than three minutes. Longer intromission times are more common among polygamous mating species, where multiple males mate with multiple females, like bonobos and chimps. This mating system creates an intense competition for fertilization, and reduces a female’s access to more mates by having males spend more time having sex with them, according to the study.

The penis bone is attached at the tip of the penis rather than the base to provide structural support for animals who do prolonged intromission, and to keep the urethra open.

The researchers believe humans lost their penis bones when monogamy became a dominant reproductive strategy about 1.9 million years ago.

“We think that is when the human baculum would have disappeared because the mating system changed at that point,” Kit Opie, a co-author of the study at University College London, told The Guardian.

Opie and his colleague Miranda Brindle believe the male does not need to spend a long time penetrating the female since she is not likely to be leapt by other amorous males. Therefore, the reduction of competition for mates means humans are less likely to need a penis bone. Opie adds, despite popular belief, humans do not generally need longer than three minutes to get the job done, and successfully impregnate a woman.

“We are actually one of the species that comes in below the three minute cut-off where these things come in handy,” he said.

Scientists have just begun to put together the function of this mysterious bone. They do agree changes in the penis bone are driven as part of a mating strategy. This means a bigger penis bone is better when it comes to sexual competition.

Human males, do not feel bad — if the penis bone is damaged, it could take as long as other broken bones to heal.

Complete Article HERE!

Is His Semen Normal?

All spunk is funky, but sometimes it is *too* funky.

By

jizz

Very many things about the male human body are a mystery. Penises, hy? Those tiny nipples, what!? But dip beneath the hairy surface of a man’s skin, and even more mysteries await, hiding away in his male depths.

While usually contained, safe and sound inside of the body, semen is a fluid most people eventually come into contact with, but also do not know very much about. If it weren’t for Samantha Jones calling attention to the phenomenon of funky spunk in the “Easy Come, Easy Go” episode of Sex and the City in 2000, women the world over may have lived in quiet misery, forever perplexed by the unpleasantness of the male sex fluid.

To help educate the masses on the contents, and, yes, healthy range of funkiness in semen, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with a urology specialist and sexual health counselor about all things semen.

How semen should look

Aleece Fosnight, a urology physician’s assistant and sex counselor with AASECT, explained that healthy semen should be a milky white or slightly grayish color. “Right after ejaculation, it’s pretty thick,” Fosnight said. “And 25-30 minutes later, it becomes clear and runny.” The change in fluidity is to help aid in reproduction, and thin out the cervical mucous to aid in the implantation of a ~fertilized egg~.

How semen should (generally) smell and taste

Semen is a bodily fluid. Can you name any bodily fluids that smell like roses or taste like freshly baked cookies? No! There are none. So as a bodily fluid, you can expect semen to have a specific taste and odor that isn’t necessarily going to be lovely. Just to clear that right up.

The thing to note about semen is that it’s a vehicle for delivering sperm through a vagina. So everything in it is meant to aid in that process. Semen is mostly made up of sperm, proteins, fructose (to help energize the sperm for transport), and seminal fluid. Fosnight said the typical pH of semen is somewhere around 7-8, or slightly alkaline. The vagina, on the other hand, has a pH between 3-5, or slightly acidic, so the alkaline nature of semen helps keep the sperm alive in an acidic vaginal environment (are you having fun yet?).

Because of it’s slightly alkaline pH, Fosnight said healthy semen should have an “ammonia or bleach-like kind of a smell,” and will taste a bit sweet (because of the fructose) and salty — like the perfect trail mix, in drinkable liquid form, straight out of a penis!

Something Fosnight clarified was that semen left dormant for too long will start to develop a more concentrated taste or smell. Think of it like a stagnant body of water, collecting film and attracting flies. To keep semen from developing a stronger taste or odor — and also to promote prostate health — studies have found that ejaculating at least twice a week is beneficial to a man’s health.

That thing about food changing his taste is true

Remember when Samantha Jones makes the guy with the spunky funk choke down a series of wheatgrass shots in an attempt to improve his semen flavor profile? According to Fosnight, that wasn’t the smartest move.

Although there’s been very little research done on the subject, health care professionals often hear anecdotally from patients that certain foods can slightly affect the taste of semen. While Fosnight said it’s normal for fruits, which are high in sugar content, to change the taste of a person’s semen, vegetables generally don’t have much of an effect.

“Smoking can change the taste,” Fosnight added. “It will have more of a bitter taste to it with smoking and with alcohol.” So, no one’s saying you should avoid ingesting a mouthful of piping hot semen after your partner’s spent the night having too many drinks and then *whoops!* accidentally chain-smoking outside of the bar, but know that semen might taste especially bitter and, ahem, spunky after such an occasion.

When the spunkiness is trying to tell you something

Though there aren’t very many health issues that can be spotted based on a person’s semen, there are a few things to look out for. “A lot of times guys won’t notice it, so partners report if there’s something wrong,” Fosnight said. She also added that at her practice, they call this “when semen goes bad.”

The things to look out for are changes in color. “The biggest thing is if it has a yellow or green appearance to it,” Fosnight said. “Like a prominent yellow or opaque consistency.” An opaque yellow or green color is typically a sign of an STI — usually gonorrhea. A guy whose semen has changed colors like this should definitely see a doctor, and avoid sex until any sort of infection is either ruled out or treated.

It doesn’t happen all too often — Fosnight estimated maybe once in a lifetime for most men — but a busted blood vessel in the prostate (which is responsible for carrying semen out of the body) can cause the semen to have a red or brownish color. If that color normalizes within a few days, there’s nothing really to worry about. But as with any health concern, a persistent discoloration should result in a doctor’s appointment.

While not super common, blood in the semen is often indicative of a prostate injury, explained Fosnight. These can be caused by using anal toys or putting pressure on the prostate, and if the bleeding subsides and doesn’t come with any other symptoms like high blood pressure, things are fine.

As long as a man is doing his due diligence by having regular STI tests, regular prostate exams when he turns 40, and just FORCING himself to ejaculate a couple times a week, semen should be pretty healthy. It may never taste like frozen yogurt, but at least it will be healthy.

Complete Article HERE!