Category Archives: Being A Good Bottom

Hey, Keep It Clean!

Hey sex fans,

It’s time for another Product Review Friday. And this week we review a great toy for all you ass fuck bottoms out there.

Before we get to the review, however, I have a few editorial comments. I hear from dozens of people every month with the same issue. They tell me they’d really like to experiment with anal sex, but they are concerned about the potential messiness.

Douching is the answer, of course. I’ve said over and over; keeping it clean where the sun don’t shine is a relatively easy thing to accomplish. Warm water is all you need. Never use soap internally. Some people add lemon juice or vinegar (1-2 Tbs. per quart) of the warm water. Others dissolve (2 Tbs.) of baking soda in a quart of warm water.

I always tell my correspondents to stay away from commercially produced douches; most contain harmful and irritating chemicals. And trust me, you don’t want that. Besides, all those over the counter douches are expensive. And all that packaging is definitely not eco-friendly. And we all want to be green perverts, don’t we?

Today’s product brings something new and affordable to personal anal hygiene market. And it comes from one of our favorite manufacturers, our good friends at Perfect Fit Brand.

You didn’t miss the earlier Perfect Fit Brand review, did you? The Fat Boy Cock Extender is probably the most popular review we’ve done this year. And you can find it and all our reviews archived on my review site, Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews.

Now let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Brad, for his review.

Ergo Speed Douche —— $21.93

Brad

Those who follow my reviews know that I’m a straight guy who really gets off on ass play. I make a point of saying I’m straight, because so many people assume if a guy is into his butt hole, he’s gotta be gay. Nonsense! The days of making that uninformed leap are over. More and more straight guys are discovering their prostate and living to tell the story.

I’m also a personal trainer and it just blows me away how much my clients, both women and men, confide in me about their sex life. When this first began to happen I was like; “Whoa, TMI, for chrissake!” But then I got used to it. I guess personal training is the new confessional.

Anyhow, the reason I bring this up is one of the things I hear most, from both women and men, is; “I want to try anal.” Every one of my clients is astonished to learn that I love being the bottom in ass play. Guys are like; “But dude, you’re straight.” And gals are all like; “Damn, I always pictured you as a top.” Whatever! So many preconceived ideas about sex and sex roles, what’s up with that?

The problem most people have with butt sex is the personal hygiene part. All the butt pirate wannabes imagine this is an unpleasant task mostly because they don’t know shit, pardon the pun, about keeping themselves clean down there.

That’s why I am so glad that I got the Ergo Speed Douche to review. I now have a great product to turn my clients on to when we have this discussion.

The Ergo Speed Douche is about as simple and straightforward a design as possible. It’s a bulb and a nozzle! But don’t let the simplicity fool you; a lot of thought went into creating this essential tool for us bottoms.

I confess I’ve blown through a half dozen other bulb-type douches in my time. So I can say with confidence that not all these puppies are created equal. First, most bulbs are too small. Their limited capacity means you have to load it more than once. Not good! The Ergo Speed Douche holds a generous 11 ounces and is made of medical grade PVC, so you get a LONG steady blast.

Another really annoying problem is all the other bulb-type douches I’ve tried push water IN when you squeeze, just like they ought to. But then they suck it back OUT when you let go of the bulb. This creates the dreaded backflow. You want to void the douche into the toilet or down the shower drain, not back into the bulb. Get it? The Ergo Speed Douche eliminates this problem with its unique one-way air valve on the bottom of the bulb. This prevents the backflow of water into the bulb.

Another common problem with lesser bulb-type douches is the nozzle-to-bulb connection. If that is flimsy or poorly designed it can pop off mid cleaning. Again, not good! No such problem with the Ergo Speed Douche though. This thing is built to last. The nozzle screws into the bulb nice and tight, as it ought to and it stays connected.

The Ergo Speed Douche has a bendable 6” nozzle. It is made of phthalate-free TPR (thermal Plastic Rubber). Being flexible is important, because it makes it more comfortable to use. But care has to be taken that you don’t bend the nozzle so much that it crimps. There is a bit of a learning curve with all anal hygiene products, so don’t get frustrated if, at first, you find this a bit awkward. Once you get the hang of it, it’ll be as easy as falling off a log.

Remember, it’s all about the flow. The Ergo Speed Douche nozzle tip has four holes that diffuse the stream giving you the most out of each squeeze. This douche does more than simply fill your hole with water; the four-way spray will actually gives you a rinse too.

It’s essential that you keep your Ergo Speed Douche clean. Remember where it’s been! Warm soapy water is fine for quick cleanups. But you’ll want to sanitize it from time to time too. This is easily done with a 10% bleach solution. Detach that nozzle from the bulb and immerse both parts. Be sure to flush the bleach solution from both parts before your next use. Easy peasy!
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Learning to ride

Hey sex fans!

We’re all back from Spring Break. Did you miss us? We sure missed you. So ok, let’s get this ball rolling again with a timely question from one of my correspondents.

Name: Drew
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Location: Boise
I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain, why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the fore-play type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?

First thing, don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you will surely be misled. Second, that grimace that you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated, may be a grimace of pleasure not pain. I think you are projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. The other day I was walking in the park with Ginger the dog. Actually, I was trying to walk like a normal person, but she was pulling me along like a maniac. We were both, in our own way, enjoying some beautiful spring weather and the sights, sounds and smells nature in its glory. As we walked along we encountered a father and son who were seriously involved in what appeared to be the kid’s first lesson in riding a bicycle…without training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He would start out ok, but just as soon as his dad let go of the back of his seat the boy would wobble and eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee and the boy’s fear and anxiety was thick enough to cut with a knife. It was quite a scene.

The kid was convinced that he didn’t have what it took to ride on his own. His defeatism fueled itself and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up. Sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his side, and refused his father’s pleading that he try again. In the kid’s mind the bike was the enemy another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly — balance. I wish I had had an opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad, that they might try another ploy. I wanted to say, set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first. This would surely increase the boy’s confidence and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee. And it would be fun.

I would have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on 4” curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual expression that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance within himself; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within yourself.

Most all of the discomfort in butt fucking is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted in your ass. When this muscle resists to the point of spasm things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • First, before you start playing with your hole — relax. Just like the kid in the park would have needed to calm himself before attempting to balance on the curb. The same is true for you.
  • Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, oil-based lubricants aren’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open wide find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t side your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the feelings of playing at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
  • If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. Ya know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Find your prostate. It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up. It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone.
  • Give that puppy a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to bust your nut. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot.
  • As you jizz you will also notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you are comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you, no pun intended, the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort you’ll know what to do — deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. We don’t want any unsightly and embarrassing mishaps to mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. And you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and lots of lube near to hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just like in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some swell finger-fucking first.
  • Once you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop; he will stop. Trust is very important in butt fucking.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are ridding your bike all by yourself. And you will be very happy.

Good luck

Our First Q&A Show Of The New Year— Podcast #315 — 01/09/12


Hey sex fans, welcome back!

Holy cow, the new year is upon us and I’m all refreshed from my winter break and rarin’ to go. So it’s time to crank up the old microphone so I can bring you another Q&A show.

Say, did you know that this year marks my fifth year in podcasting? The actual anniversary isn’t for another month, but I thought I’d take this opportunity to toot my own horn, so to speak. And I foresee lots of very exciting programming coming your way in 2012.

But now I have this great show in store for you. Because it’s always a thrill to discover what my correspondents toss my way. And you can always count on me, your intrepid sexologist, to respond with clever, resourceful and oh so informative responses. Hey, it’s what I do!

This week we hear from

  • P wants to E-stim both himself and his partner at the same time.
  • Kyle wonders about tight pussies…I think.
  • Haans and his wife are blissful.
  • Chatt Mann is not sure if it’s a good thing to bust his nut in a chick’s mouth.
  • Matt is way more kinky than he’s letting on and he is letting on a lot.
  • Minou is interested in safe scrotal infusion play.
  • Joey is gettin fucked by heavy-hung black guys.
  • Christopher Ryan and I discuss the “cock factor” in straight porn.
  • Lee asks about the advisability of using E-stim with his inflatable penile implant.

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

A Spot of Heavy Breathing

Name: Bob
Gender: male
Age: 40
Location:
I’m a bisexual male. Recently I’ve been seeing this black guy, 25 years old, with a very big 9” very thick cock. We’ve been suckin’ and he’s been fuckin me. But most recently he’s been wanting me to get together with two or three of his friends and have a party. I mostly want to do it, but I’m a little scared. Would I be able to handle 2 or 3 guys? Would I be able to take all their cocks up my ass? I need some advice.

Bob, you are a little breathless, huh? I’m so delighted you stopped by with this tantalizing tidbit. So let’s get this straight, so to speak. You’ve got this heavy hung black dude, 15 years your junior, rockin’ your world with his thick 9”. Oh sure, count your money in front of the poor, why don’t cha? Say, all of us here at Dr Dick’s Sex Advice are wondering; how in the world did you get this dazzling urban specimen to tap your honky ass in the first place?

But there’s more…besides your amazing good fortune with this one fella, your young playmate wants to introduce you to a few of his big boned bruthas for some hot group action. Mmmm, how you do go on, sir! I suppose it’s only natural to be a bit intimidated, what with all that weighty pipe that will be swinging around. All I can say is I hope you film the event for posterity, darling. Because if you don’t no one, not even me, will ever believe you.

You want some advice? How could I possibly advise someone who can handle…and I quote “a very big 9” very thick cock.” If that’s truly the case, you don’t need nothin’ from me. Let’s just hope your hole will be able to withstand the massive gang fuck. And that’ll depend on one thing — you being as big of an insatiable bottom as you are a braggart. If you are, you’ll have no trouble at all.

Good luck…you’re gonna need it.

Name: Ben
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Location: New York, New York
Dr- I have read up on some of the questions you have answered and realized why my penis is curved. Because I began to masturbate in sixth grade! (The older boys on the bus encouraged me too) Now I know that this may sound dumb. But is there any way to fix this? I haven’t ever even had a blowjob, or hand job because I’m so timid about a girl seeing my penis. I’m also scared to call anywhere, and when the doctor asks me if I have any questions about my body I’m even to scared to say yes to that. Should I ask the doctor about it just too see if there is a way to fix my penis, or is there a natural way to fix it with a special kind of vitamin that I can take? Thanks a ton! -Ben

Hey Ben, why are you being such are a scaredy cat? I mean how bad a curve does your dick have that you would avoid a blowjob or even a hand job when offered? Is it really that misshapen? I mean, how many erect cocks have you seen in your short life span that you can say for sure that your unit is so fatally flawed? Can you be absolutely certain that the curve of your johnson isn’t just a normal variation on an otherwise handsome and hearty tool?

Listen pup, even a precocious masturbator like you is unlikely to change the shape of his willie simply by jerking off. That’s not to say that one’s dick can’t run into trouble from injury or abuse. For as hearty a plaything as it is, our cock, it is a relatively delicate instrument. When you get a woody, your cock is engorged with oxygen-rich blood, which is essential for the upkeep of the smooth muscle tissue. This kind of tissue makes up about 90% of your cock. So you can see how a healthy circulatory system is to a vibrant sex life.

If you dissected your woody and looked at a cross-section you’d see three distinct spongy tubular structures, each are made up of smooth muscle tissue. Two of these tubular structures — one on either side of your cock, both of which run the length of your cock — are called the corpora cavernosa. These marvelous structures become engorged with blood lifting and thickening your cock to erection. The corpus spongiosum, the third tubular structure is located just below the corpora cavernosa. This baby houses your urethra, through which urine and semen pass during urination and ejaculation, respectively. This may also become slightly engorged with blood, but less so than the corpora cavernosa.

An oxygen-deprived cock will build up a kind of plaque, which resembles scar tissue. This will cripple a dude’s rod (Peyronie’s disease) or rob him of his wood altogether. However, I don’t think this is the case for you.

So before you start tryin to “heal” or “fix” yourself with some contraption or herbal supplement visit a doctor first. If you’re too timid to make an appointment with your family physician, go to a free clinic, or neighborhood clinic near you. You’re living in the big apple for crying out loud; you have all these great resources available to you.

Good luck

Overcoming a Fear of Sex: A Step-By-Step Process

All phobias can be overcome with some effort. The same is true for conquering a fear of sex. Here, I walk a young gay man through his trepidation with anal sex. We take simple, easy to accomplish steps to build confidence and dispel his apprehensions.

I’m gay, I’m a virgin, and I think I may be afraid of sex. In all the porn I’ve seen, the bottom guy looks uncomfortable and in pain— why would I want that? I’ve only done anything sexual with one guy, and I was so anxious that I couldn’t even get it up. I liked the guy, he was hot, and I enjoyed all the foreplay type stuff, but I just couldn’t do anything else. Any advice on how to get over this?
Drew

First thing—don’t ever look to porn for your sex education; you’ll surely be misled. Second, that grimace you report seeing on the bottom’s face as he is being penetrated may be a grimace of pleasure, not pain. I think you may be projecting your own discomfort on the guys in the movies.

Let me tell you a little story. Recently I was strolling in the park with my dog. We were each, in our own way, enjoying the sights, sounds and smells of nature in its glory. As we walked along, we encountered a father and son who were deeply involved in what appeared to be the boy’s first lesson in riding a bicycle—sans training wheels. Despite the father’s patient encouragement, the kid couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. He’d start out okay, but just as soon as his dad let go of the bike, it would begin to wobble and the boy would eventually crash. There were plenty of tears, a skinned knee, and the boy’s fear and anxiety were thick enough to cut with a knife.

The boy was convinced that he couldn’t ride on his own. His defeatism became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He finally gave up, sat down on a bench, his bike in a tangle at his feet, and refused his father’s pleading to give it another try. In his mind, the bike was the enemy; another attempt would only hurt and humiliate, and so the lesson ended.

What the kid lacked was self-confidence, a sense of adventure and probably more importantly—balance. I wish I’d had the opportunity to suggest to the boy and his dad that they try another ploy. I wanted to say, “Set the bike aside and work on that balance thing first.” This would surely increase the boy’s confidence, and it wouldn’t cost a blow to his ego or his knee—and it would be fun.

I’d have suggested the dad start by helping the kid walk on curb, balancing himself as he went. Then the dad could increase the challenge to include balancing on one foot, then the other. Once the kid discovered the power within him to accomplish these tasks, the bike could be reintroduced. The father would assist the boy in drawing upon his skill in balancing on the curb to master balancing on his bike.

The same will be true for you, Drew. Sex is nothing to be afraid of. Rather, it is a skill that one learns. Some, obviously, take to it quicker than others, but everyone can learn a happy, healthy sexual repertoire that will build self-esteem and bring great pleasure.

I want you to start exploring and enjoying your bottom on your own. Like the kid in the park, you need to acquaint yourself with the powers that lie within you. He needed to find a sense of balance; you need to find the Big Old Butt Pirate within.

Most all of the discomfort in anal sex is associated with your sphincter muscle trying to resist whatever it is being inserted. When this muscle resists to the point of spasming, things can become very painful. So here’s what I want you to do.

  • Before you start playing with your hole—relax. Take a relaxing shower, a warm bath, and/or try some deep breathing exercises to center yourself.
  • Have a ready supply of a water-based lube handy. Silicone-based lubes are swell for these exercises too. However, this type of lube isn’t recommended for use with a condom.
  • Start with a little self-pleasuring. Stroke your dick with your lubed hand and get into your happy place.
  • Gradually slather some of that lube on to your balls and taint. With legs open, find your hole and play with your rosebud. Gently massage the area around your asshole, but don’t slide your fingers in just yet. Simply get used to the sensations at the opening of your ass.
  • Let your play include the tip of your finger entering your ass.
    If you do this while you’re stroking your cock, you will find that your hole will actually open and invite your finger. That’s the great thing about pleasuring one part of your body while learning to pleasure another.
  • Once you are comfortable with your fingertip inside, try pushing it in further and move it around a little. Try pushing it and pulling it out of your ass. You know, like finger-fucking yourself.
  • Locate your prostate. (It shouldn’t be hard to find if you’re all horned up.) It will feel smooth and hard, like a flat stone. Give it a nice gentle massage. If you’re still stroking your wood, don’t be surprised if this prostate massage gets you to ejaculate. In fact, you will find that your prostate actually enlarges a bit and becomes more firm just as you are about to shoot. As you jizz, you’ll notice that your sphincter muscle will tighten around your finger and pulsate with each squirt.

Continue these self-pleasuring exercises until you’re comfortable inserting a couple fingers in your ass. Then try a small vibrating dildo. In no time at all, you will be ready to jump on your bike and ride…so to speak.

With these exercises behind you—no pun intended—the first time you actually fuck with a partner will be the incredible experience it is meant to be. If you encounter any discomfort, you’ll know what to do: deep breathing to relax and priming your hole with a lubed finger or two.

  • First, attend to your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re clean inside. This will help you avoid an unsightly and embarrassing mishap that might mess up the big event.
  • Remember to take it slow. There’s no rushing pleasure. Remember, you’ll be the one in charge of what goes in your ass, when, and for how long.
  • Warm up with some foreplay, kissing, sucking, licking, rimming, touching and massaging.
  • Have condoms and plenty of lube near at hand.
  • While you’re warming up, start loosening up your ass with your lubed fingers, just as you did in your self-pleasuring exercises.
  • Once you’re comfortable, offer your ass to your partner. Have him replace your fingers with his own. Try some finger-fucking first.
  • After you’re relaxed and loose, lie on your side with your partner behind you. Have him slowly push his cock against your rosebud.
  • Try pushing out like you are trying to take a dump. This will help open up your sphincter for his entry.
  • As he enters you, have him stop so that you can breathe deeply. Give your ass the time it needs to adjust to the new sensations. If there’s pain or discomfort have your partner reverse course and go back to finger fucking before you proceed.
  • Make sure that your partner knows that if you ask him to stop, he will stop. Trust is essential.
  • As he fills you with his dick he will hit your prostate. This will send waves of pleasure through your body and signal your sphincter to open for even more.
  • You may find that you’ll even want to push your ass back to meet and engulf his cock.

By the time this happens you will happily discover that you are riding your bike all by yourself.

Good luck!

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