Category Archives: Ass Fucking

Slippery When Wet

Getting to the bottom of things, so to speak is not always as easy as it appears at first glance. I’d like to share with you an exchange I’ve been having with very articulate correspondent from Chicago…dr dick’s hometown. Pay attention to how the topic moves from a concern about finding the proper lube to issue of much greater importance.

Hey there Dr. Dick,

I’m a 31 year-old gay guy from Chicago, Illinois, and I’ve been in a completely monogamous relationship with my partner, who is 38, for almost nine years.I consider myself to be on the bottom side of versatile–what can I say? I love it when my guy fucks me! But my partner is never able to cum when he makes love to me because of the lube on his dick. For whatever reason, it desensitizes him, and he’s unable to get off either from fucking or masturbation. We’ve tried various brands of lube, as well as different kinds of lotion, but nothing works.

We’re both HIV- and haven’t used condoms for many years. One of my biggest fantasies is to feel him shoot his load inside of me. Unfortunately, he is unable to get to that point. Furthermore, I hate that I get to cum and he doesn’t. I’ve looked for different kinds of lube online, but to be honest, I just don’t know which one might do the trick. Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks, Dr. Dick,
Daniel

Hey Daniel,cum10.jpg

Let me see if I understand what you’re saying. Your partner is unable to ejaculate when he uses either lotion or lube while either masturbating or when fucking you. Right? Does that mean he can masturbate to ejaculation just fine with a dry hand?So when you guys have sex, and he’s fucking you, and you cum, what happens next? Does he pull out of you, wipe off the lube and beat off till he cums?

Daniel, I need a bit more information before I can advise you. I hope you take the time to respond.

dr dick

Thanks for your thoughts on this, Dr. Dick.

That’s right, my partner can’t seem to bring himself to climax using either lotion or lube.He can masturbate to ejaculation with a dry hand. However, I will say that it often takes him a little longer to ejaculate in general, which may just be one of those things that happens to us all sooner or later. He goes wild when I go down on his butt while he masturbates — he usually cums pretty quickly then.

So if there’s no fucking involved, we’ll play around together for awhile, then I’ll concentrate on him until he cums, and then I either jerk off or he’ll jerk me off.When he’s fucking me, it usually becomes all about me, which I don’t think is very fair, because unless he takes a shower and washes off the lube with soap and water, he can’t cum at all. He is generally content to just enjoy our love making on these occasions without necessarily having an orgasm. That’s all well and good, but like I said, I don’t think it’s very fair, and I wish I could figure out a solution.

T hanks! Please let me know if you need any more information. I’m looking forward to hearing you’re thoughts on this.
— Daniel

Hello again, Daniel.

This is all very curious. I’d be willing to speculate that what you present here is nota.jpg merely a wet hand vs. dry hand issue. I took particular note of these comments of yours: “I will say that it often takes him a little longer to ejaculate in general…” “He goes wild when I go down on his butt while he masturbates–he usually cums pretty quickly.” and “… I’ll concentrate on him until he cums…”

First, it’s not unusual for a man not to cum as a top in anal (or vaginal) intercourse. Sometimes there’s simply not enough of the right kind of friction. If, for example, your BF is like another client of mine and his masturbation style is very vigorous, or like my client who is only able to cum by concentrating his manual stimulation on his frenulum, he’ll not cum in anal intercourse…or any intercourse for that matter. He has to get himself off by hand.

You say your BF enjoys being rimmed, and this hastens him to orgasm. Does he enjoy any other butt play, like prostate massage? If he does, you guys could try something like this. You eat his ass while he is masturbating on his back. Using a small vibrating dildo stimulate his prostate. As he approaches ejaculatory inevitability add lube to his dick, straddle him and sit on his dick.This may sound like a whole lot of work, and it may very well be. My suspicion is that your BF has, for whatever reason, talked himself out of every cuming in your ass and the lack of success with traditional anal intercourse has reinforced that. However, if you can help him break down his resistance with a fucking success, some positive reinforcement might turn the tide.

I hasten to add that if what I describe above interferes with spontaneity of your sex play, you may just want to enjoy the sex as you already have it.

Good Luck!

Now that’s really interesting, Doc.
My partner is a bit vigorous when he masturbates, and that’s how he finally gets off 100% of the time. I can’t think of a single other instance when that wasn’t the case. But I just suddenly remembered something he told me a long time ago about his first sexual experience with a dude.

My partner was receiving a blowjob, and as he was cuming, he farted. Now, that particular fart was certainly unfortunately timed — and probably the result of the relaxation that comes with an orgasm — but now I wonderrimming2.jpg whether or not, way back when, something psychological occurred. I would certainly speculate that switching to masturbation as he’s getting close might not be some kind of mechanism to shift the focus from down there to somewhere else, if you see what I mean.

We’ve never tried any other kind of ass play. I fuck him sometimes, which he enjoys. But we’ve never been much for toys or anything like that. I did get him a latex dildo as a joke one Christmas — nicknamed Gloria, for some reason — but I think I played with that when I masturbated alone more often than when we were having sex. Anyway, Gloria’s gone now — it slowly turned a funny yellow color so we tossed it. A small vibrator sounds like a fun idea…I know I’d use it at the very least!I’m always a little disappointed when our love making isn’t as successful as I’d like it to be, but I’m always careful not to show it, because my partner genuinely feels that he’s not great in the sack — which is nonsense (it really is nonsense).

Sex is always great, and especially between two people who love each other like we do. That sounds a bit trite, but we’re always laughing and doing silly stuff when we’re in bed together, and generally having fun, and I think we communicate well too.I have to admit, we’re not as spontaneous as we would like when it comes to sex. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that lots of couples fall into this trap where the events of the day — work, school for me, dinner, paying bills, answering emails and phone calls, surfing the Internet, booking travel, etc. — gets the better of us, and before you know it, everyone’s tired and ready to fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow.

Sometimes, though, if my partner is home when I get home, we’ll find ourselves lying on the bed playing with the cats. When they get fed up with our antics, we usually joke around with each other, talking, laughing, which may or may not lead to sex. It’s great when it does. Other times, especially at night when we’re getting in bed, one or both of us might be horny and we’ll have sex. Many times, I’ll be in the mood but not him, and I’ll jerk off while he rubs my balls and my chest, or he’ll jerk me off, and then go to sleep. That’s about as spontaneous as it gets for us.

Sexual spontaneity is definitely something we both know we need to work on. I’d love to have one of those moments where we have to leave dinner, jump in a cab, and get home ASAP, because we’re so worked up that we gotta jump in bed and play!

— Daniel

rimming03.jpgDaniel,

Thank you so much for all of this. It’s brilliant. Sounds like you have an exceptionally enviable relationship. Also sounds like you have plenty of room for spicing things up too.It’s so interesting that you mention your BF’s fart incident. I’ve had other people tell me similar stories. Almost to the one, each reported that this single fart incident during sex, altered their entire sexual response cycle for years. Isn’t that amazing? Aren’t we incredible creatures?

All the best,

Dr Dick

Know Thyself!

It’s 2006 people! The internet impacts on nearly every aspect of our lives. We have more immediate access to more specific information about every conceivable thing under the sun — an access and availability unparalleled in history. We have the collective knowledge of all humankind at our fingertips, both literally and figuratively. Despite this super-available wealth of information, many of us still live in the dark when it comes to our bodies and how they work. We are uninformed about our anatomy, unaware of the mechanics that make us tic, and oblivious to our own sexual response cycle. This sort of ignorance and estrangement leads to all sorts of troubles.

Hi Richard
I really only had my first male sexual encounter in September (which I enjoyed!). We tried oral. He was cut and I’m not. I didn’t enjoy receiving it though as the head my dick is sensitive to the point of being sore when the foreskin is pulled all the way back. I only do that in the shower when I’m cleaning down there. When I self-pleasure, I do it in a way that the foreskin never goes full back, just halfway. I’m not sure if this is a common problem with uncut men.
I do like the idea of anal sex and I’m looking for a patient top for my first time. But I’m just worried about the whole sensation and preparation, etc.
Wayne

Wow, Wayne, new to gay sex, huh? I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying yourself. Yes,b4.jpg the prospects of fully enjoying your newfound sexual interests must hold great allure. Congratulations!

As to your issue of your hypersensitive dick head — let’s just say that’s part of the joy of having an uncut dick. Many uncut men report similar sensitivity, especially when they haven’t had a lot of partnered sex. Some of the discomfort will dissipate on its own with the more cock-play you have. However, you can also hasten the desensitization process by retracting your foreskin and leaving your unsheathed dick in your underwear for an hour or so at a time. You could also try masturbating with your foreskin completely retracted. This will, no doubt, feel a bit odd and perhaps even uncomfortable at first, but like I said, this will subside. The object of these exercises is to take the edge off, so to speak. You don’t need to concern yourself with thoughts of total desensitization — there’s no likelihood of that happening. But you do want to get to a point where you can enjoy some great head without worrying that you will be sore afterward. You might also want to encourage your cock sucking friends to be especially careful when they’re chowin’ down on your tender meat.

In anticipation of finding that patient top you seek; you can prepare yourself, and your asshole, for the enjoyment to come. During your own private sex play — masturbation — be sure to include your sphincter and prostate. Familiarize yourself with your whole hole-area. Use your fingers and/or a small dildo to test the waters, so to speak. Take your time and use lots of lube. Don’t be afraid to experiment and push the limits a bit. The more that you know about your own ass, the more you will be able to inform future partners on how best to pleasure you.

You might want to experiment with douches too. Over the counter stuff is ok, but a simple solution of warm water and a bit of vinegar or lemon juice works even better. It’s cheaper too. When it comes to fucking, a clean ass is a happy ass. Remember when you bottom, your anal hygiene is your responsibility. The more you know about anal health and hygiene, before you give up your ass for the first time, the more likely both you and your top will enjoy yourselves.

Good luck

Hi again Richard
I appreciate you taking time to answer my questions and for the advice you’ve given me. I still think an uncut cock is a curse though! LOL Each time I read your suggestion about rolling back my foreskin, I have to cross my legs. So I just need to get over that. :-)
I will try a dildo and some lube for exploration. The nearest I have come so far is to try a finger wrapped in tissue paper. The reason this worried me was because even after a BM, sometimes it caused gas to be released and once or twice even “forced” another movement.
When being topped, does the cock go past the “squishy” muscle that I can feel with my finger? And how would one apply a water and lemon juice solution?
Wayne

Hello again, Wayne,

l1.jpgYou’ll never convince me that an uncut dick is a liability. I firmly believe that, in most circumstances, body parts are best left in their natural state.

Learning to care for an uncut dick is something else indeed. There are plenty of resources on the internet for uncut men like you. I suggest doing a search with word strings like: Sex Information or Health Information and Uncircumcised. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with the wealth of information available.

One word of caution, have your wits about you when reading through the information you find on the net. For example, you will probably notice that the American medical industry has a very strong bias toward circumcision. For some reason, our culture would prefer to mutilate a cock instead of teaching the cock’s owner, be it boy-child or grown-up man, how to care for and clean his pecker in its natural state.

Wait a minute; you’re wrapping your finger in toilet paper before sticking it in you ass? That can’t be fun or comfortable. Listen, partner, your ass is your friend, it’s the source of loads of pleasure. Shit also comes out of your ass, but it’s not the end of the world if you get a bit of it on your finger during exploration. It’s soap-and-water soluble, ya know. Rootin’ around in your bum or someone else’s bum can and often does produce some interesting byproduct. No surprise there, it’s an asshole after all.

Washing your hands after butt play, as well as keeping them away from your mouth until they are washed, will help keep things sanitary. May I suggest you get a copy of: Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin, Ph.D. It’s an excellent primer for the anal novice. You can find it online.

My, you are uninformed about your own anatomy. The squishy muscle you speak of is your sphincter muscle. And yes, one would hope that a top’s dick would go past that muscle to at least the depth where his cock can stimulate your prostate. Unclear on where your prostate is? You’ll find plenty of information online about that too. Do a search with word strings like: Prostate and Health Information and Anatomy.

Here’s some more homework for you. Do and internet search using the words: Anal Douche. You will find all the information you need about the care and cleaning of your asshole. You’ll also find a vast array of implements designed for just this purpose. Have a ball!

Good luck

Dr. Dick,
Please help me. I am an attractive 21-year-old guy. I have no problems with meeting women nor do I have a low libido, the problem is that I suffer from hemorrhoids. This is really embarrassing as I don’t even let a girl touch my ass. And you know how girls like to play with a guy’s ass these days. I know there are cures for hemorrhoids, but none have worked and my doctor said it is useless to cure them because anal sex will cause their return. Please, please help…I am dying of frustration and fear.
Regards,
Jay

Dear Jay,

You are not alone. Many men and women suffer from hemorrhoids and, as you say, itfingerfuck02.jpg can be frustrating, even embarrassing. But there is hope.

The first thing you ought do is look for another physician. If you are accurately reporting your doctor’s comments about butt fucking and hemorrhoids then he’s got a problem. What he told you is simply not true. You needn’t live a life of frustration and fear just because you have an ass-phobic doctor.

Do an internet search with word strings like: Hemorrhoids and Health Information and Anal Sex.

It’s hard for me to imagine a case of hemorrhoids so bad that it couldn’t be helped or cured by one of the many new and sophisticated therapies and interventions currently available. And with regard to butt fucking, there are many people who would believe that light anal stimulation can actually help relieve and even prevent hemorrhoids from reoccurring.

So do yourself a favor. Get a second opinion, a third if necessary. Find a sex-positive doctor. You can even do an internet search for Sex Positive Doctors. Or you can get a referral from a local gay hotline. Or look for a proctologist at a local university hospital. You’re more likely to find an open-minded practitioner there.

Your current physician has given you very poor advice indeed. He has done you a great disservice. Don’t let him have the last word.

Good Luck,
dr. dick

Liberating The B.O.B. Within

So ya finally decided to become a B.O.B. (Big Old Bottom)? Tired of missing out on all that ass-play everyone’s talkin’ about? Been secretly trippin’ on the exploits of your favorite porn stars? (“Jeez, would ya get a load of that. His hole looks like the Victory Arch in Paris, for god sake.”) And now want a piece of the action for yourself? But wait, there’s a wrinkle, you’re a virgin or worse yet, there’s been an “Exit Only” sign on yourgallerygay_20061125_085924.jpg poop chute for so long that the mere thought of someone diddlin’ your ass hole makes you blanch and swoon.

Dear Dr. Dick, Help! I want to be a bottom; at least I think I do. My boyfriend’s been begging for my booty big time, (my girlfriend just got herself a strap-on, YIKES!) but I’m just too tight down there and he’s really big (and she thinks turn-about is fair play). Our play time always end the same way, frustration for him (her) and a pain in the ass for me. How do those porno guys and gals do it?

fucking_men.jpgFirst off, darling, “porno guys,” as you so lovingly refer to them, are professionals (yeah, huh!). And Dr. Dick suggests that a novice butt pirate like you not try that fancy stuff at home before you know the basics.

So listen up, bottom wannabes, pleasurable buggering depends upon on three simple, but important things: 1) The will, 2) Being relaxed and 3) A considerate partner.

First. You gotta really want to get fucked. This may sound elementary, but it’s not. Some of my clients secretly confess that they don’t anyone near their precious tushie, and no amount of pleading and whimpering on the part of their long-suffering partner(s) is gonna change that. For some getting it up the ass is associated with11.jpg domination not pleasure. Manly men don’t bottom for nobody. (Oh sure Mary, me thinks you doth protest too much.) Others have religious reservations. (If god wanted me to get fucked he would have given me a vagina.) Still others have aesthetic concerns. (Oh no, that’s way too icky and messy.) I can assure you that these boys ain’t never gonna be a bottom no how.

Second. Let’s just say your dyin’ to get fucked, but you’re so intimidated by your top’s one-eyed monster that your quivering asshole is like totally shut down. Chill out! Why not begin your sex play with your partner giving you a relaxing sensual back rub. After awhile he could move on to a little butt play (and I do me play). The object here is pleasure not penetration. Have him tease your asshole with his finger. A tongue works nicely too. (This is called rimming, but you probably already knew that, because you’re not a complete idiot, huh?) A gentle circular motion works best. Have him use his hands to spread your ass cheeks, this will give your top better access to your rosebud and give you a double dose of pleasure. After a while, a lubricated finger can be inserted for a bit of a prostate massage, which is ohhh sooo delicious. When you’re ready to kick it up a notch, have your partner try inserting two fingers or a small dildo. Rhythmic deep breathing will help keep you relaxed. And when you’re all loosened up and ready to become like one of them “porno guys or gals,” you can him plug in the real thing. No more meat substitutes for you. Experiment with different positions. Try sittin’ down on that big old thang, or do it doggie style. Getting laid while on your side with your man comin’ at ya from behind gives you a bit more control over the depth of his thrusting. And of course, there’s also the traditional missionary position; you 12.jpgon your back, legs spread eagle and your pumps pointing to the stars.

Third. Having a big dick doesn’t automatically make a guy a good top. A considerate partner, big dong or not, will happily join you in exploring your asshole. He will concentrate on pleasing you first, because he knows that an investment in your anal pleasure today will reap a harvest of mutual pleasure tomorrow. (Coming soon! Dr. Dick’s tutorial for tops. Don’t miss it.)

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