Category: ANAL

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Maintaining an Active Sex Life With Prostate Cancer

— A fulfilling sex life is still possible during and after treatment for prostate cancer.

By Larry Buhl

Every type of prostate cancer treatment has the potential to negatively affect sexual function and may impact fertility. But there is good news: A variety of therapies make it possible to have an active and fulfilling sex life during and after prostate cancer treatment, even if it means slightly reimagining what it means to have good sex. If your sex life has been altered by prostate cancer treatments, some unwanted side effects like erectile dysfunction have been known to improve over time, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.

How Does Prostate Cancer Affect Sexual Function?

Strictly speaking, prostate cancer itself doesn’t affect sex, and you likely won’t have sexual side effects from prostate cancer, at least in the early stages, according to the American Cancer Society. But you could have some frustrating side effects from the treatments for prostate cancer.

The prostate is surrounded by nerves, muscles, and blood vessels that help produce an erection, but the prostate isn’t required for an erection or orgasm. However, the prostate and seminal vesicles are required for ejaculation and fertility. Some cancer treatments may affect the ability to get an erection and ejaculate.

Sexual Side Effects of Prostate Cancer Treatments

Prostate Surgery

It’s important to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are different physical reactions, although they often happen at the same time. Because the prostate and seminal vesicles are removed in a prostatectomy, no ejaculation can happen, but an erection and orgasm can happen. Sometimes the climax is called a dry orgasm because there is no semen.

Typically, a surgeon will attempt a sparing prostatectomy to save the neurovascular bundles on the side of the prostate that are necessary for erections and orgasms. But sometimes these nerves are damaged in surgery, which could diminish the ability to get erections or keep them.

If there is nerve damage, erectile dysfunction can improve over time even without intervention, according to Raevti Bole, MD, a urologist and specialist in men’s health at the Cleveland Clinic. “In general, patients notice the biggest impact on their erections right after surgery, then start to see improvements for up to two years after surgery,” says Dr. Bole.

There’s also the potential for another frustrating side effect of surgery: climacturia, or orgasmic incontinence. This is when a bit of urine leaks out during arousal. It is treatable through bladder training and exercising the pelvic floor muscles, or Kegel exercises.

Radiation

Although the goal of radiation therapy is to deliver the treatment to only the areas affected by cancer, sometimes it affects nearby nerves as well. When this happens, the nerves may not send a signal to have an erection. Unlike a prostatectomy, for which the biggest impact is right after surgery, the effects from radiation, if they happen, may occur over the course of years.

“Patients who have radiation can still orgasm and ejaculate, but often their ejaculate is diminished because, over time, the seminal vesicles in the prostate don’t produce semen like they used to,” says Scott Shelfo, MD, the medical director of urology at City of Hope in Atlanta.

Chemotherapy

Chemotherapy is unlikely to cause erectile dysfunction, though it does have other side effects, such as fatigue and hair loss. Chemotherapy can, however, lower testosterone levels during the treatment period, per the National Cancer Institute, which leads to decreased libido. Chemo is always given in conjunction with hormonal therapy.

Hormone Therapy

Hormone therapy is used to stop the progression of cancer by significantly reducing testosterone, which can affect libido. With lower testosterone, the desire to have sex decreases. Low testosterone, or low T, can also affect the quality of erections, even though it isn’t physically affecting the sensory nerves. Testosterone is important for maintaining rigidity as well.

But patients with prostate cancer aren’t likely to be on hormone therapy for life. The length of time depends on the aggressiveness of the cancer. If you’ve been on hormone therapy for a while and the cancer is under control, you might have a discussion with your oncologist about taking a “hormone holiday,” according to Bole. “But there will still be intensive monitoring to make sure you’re doing it safely,” Bole says.

Common Questions About Sexual Side Effects of Prostate Cancer

Can You Function Sexually Without a Prostate?

There is life after prostate cancer, and you absolutely can have sex after a prostatectomy, although the quality of the sex depends on how well the nerves that stimulate erections and lead to orgasms survive the surgery.

Regardless of any possible damage to the nerves around the prostate, the sensory nerves, which are different from the ones that control erections, remain untouched by surgery. This means that the process that leads to arousal, but not necessarily erections, shouldn’t change.

Can You Get an Erection if You Have Prostate Cancer or Had Your Prostate Removed?

Yes. The nerves that control erections run along the back of the prostate. As long as the cancer has not invaded those nerves, your surgeon will make every effort to peel the prostate gland from those nerves without doing damage to them.

“If the surgeon does a good prostatectomy, and the patient had good erectile function before it, they have a better chance [of avoiding erectile dysfunction],” says Dr. Shelfo. Of course, if you had erectile dysfunction before prostate removal, chances are that you’re still going to have it after the procedure.

Can You Ejaculate After Prostate Removal?

No. Once the prostate is removed along with seminal vesicles, you can’t ejaculate.

Does Sex Feel Different After Prostate Removal?

Sex after prostate removal might feel different for some people. People with intact prostates often ejaculate and orgasm at the same time, although they are actually different processes. With prostate removal, erections and orgasms should be unchanged, unless the nerves around the prostate are damaged.

But Bole, who surveys patients after surgery, found that some patients find a dry orgasm after prostate surgery less satisfying, adding that same-sex couples may have issues if one partner is lacking a prostate. “For men having receptive anal intercourse, where the prostate is a source of pleasure, having the prostate removed definitely changes the sexual experience,” Bole says.

Can Prostate Cancer Affect Fertility?

Prostate cancer itself won’t necessarily affect fertility, but prostate removal definitely will. When the prostate and seminal vesicles are removed, there can be no ejaculation, which is necessary for fertility.

Sperm is still being produced, however. It’s possible to retrieve sperm surgically though a testicular biopsy for use in assisted reproductive procedures like in vitro fertilization.

Because the average age of prostate cancer diagnosis is 66 years old, according to Cancer.Net, many patients with prostate cancer will be past the age of wanting to conceive.

With other treatments that leave the prostate in place, there may be an impact on erections, depending on whether the nerves that lead to arousal are damaged. However, if you have a prostate, it is possible to ejaculate without a full erection, according to UCLA Health.

Treating Erectile Dysfunction Caused by Prostate Cancer

Nearly all patients will experience some erectile dysfunction after a prostatectomy. How long it lasts depends on age, overall health, and the amount of damage done to the nerves surrounding the prostate, says Johns Hopkins Medicine.

Some erectile dysfunction treatments include the following:

  • Medications Sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), and tadalafil (Cialis) will help if the issue is getting blood to the penis but won’t be effective if the nerves have been damaged by surgery or radiation. This class of drugs won’t help with low libido.
  • Vacuum Erection Device Also called a penis pump, the device pulls blood into the penis. It can be effective for men who can get an erection but can’t maintain it.
  • Penile Injection Therapy You give yourself a shot at the base of the penis with a mixture of alprostadil, phentolamine, and papaverine (Trimix) to open the blood vessels in the penis and help achieve an erection.
  • Penile Implants These devices placed in the penis to get an erection are sometimes recommended when other treatments for erectile dysfunction fail.

“I always tell my patients, When there’s a will, there’s a way for you to get a firm enough erection for sex,” says Shelfo.

In addition to these interventions, lifestyle changes such as quitting smoking and cutting back on drinking can improve the ability to get an erection, per Cancer Research UK. This is also true for men with erectile dysfunction not related to prostate cancer treatment.

Reimagining Good Sex

Many men believe that good sex involves an erect — and constantly erect — penis, as well as an orgasm and ejaculation. But Bole says that if there are unwanted sexual side effects of prostate cancer treatment, it’s possible to imagine different ways to be sexual.

“Sexual therapy, psychology [experts], and couples counseling can help patients communicate with their partners about what they’re going through and explore other ways to be intimate and express affection,” she says.

Any kind of treatment for cancer can affect not just your anatomy and sexual function but also the way you feel about yourself. Bole says that it’s important to speak with doctors before treatment for prostate cancer about what kinds of sexual changes can be expected. “A lot of times, when the oncologist identifies a problem, they are good at reaching out to get the patient a consultation with someone like myself or one of my partners who specializes in talking about some of the [symptoms] that might not be brought up during an oncology-focused visit,” says Bole.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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What Are the Benefits of a Prostate Massage?

By Wendy Wisner

A prostate massage involves stimulating and massaging the prostate gland with a finger or sex toy for either sexual release or to treat a medical condition like prostatitis, an enlarged prostate, urinary hesitancy, or erectile dysfunction. 1

The prostate gland is a small, walnut-shaped organ located just below the bladder and in front of the rectum. Its main job is to make the seminal fluid — semen — that helps sperm travel and survive in the acidic environment of a vagina. 2

Although major medical organizations and independent healthcare providers don’t often promote a prostate massage as a medical procedure or therapy, it’s been used for over 100 years to treat conditions such as chronic prostatitis. 3

A prostate massage can be a circular type of motion, or an application of gentle pressure. It’s usually performed by a medical professional, or can also be performed by a significant other. Some people choose to self-stimulate their prostate with sex toys or fingers.

Here are the health benefits of a prostate massage, risks, and how to safely and effectively perform a prostate massage.

The health benefits of prostate massage are based on very limited studies and many of the studies are old studies. However, there is some evidence that massaging the prostate has medical advantages.

May Help With Urinary Flow

The prostate can become enlarged as people age, a condition known as benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH).2 BPH can cause the urethra to be compressed, and lead to issues with urination, such as incomplete bladder emptying, trouble starting urine, or dribbling at the end of urination.

An older 2006 study that looked at urine retention in older males found that prostate massage, combined with antimicrobial therapy and alpha-blocker therapy, helped resolve urinary retention, and allowed for effective urination in all study participants. 4

Any urination issues such as painful urination, limited flow, feeling of not being able to empty your bladder, incontinence, or blood in urine warrants a visit to a healthcare provider such an urologist.

May Help Treat Prostatitis

Prostatitis is swelling and inflammation of the prostate gland. It can be caused by a urinatiry tract infection (UTI) or a bladder infection. Although prostate massages have historically been used to treat prostatitis, research is mixed on its effectiveness.

For example, an older study from 2006 found that prostate massages were helpful for some people with chronic prostatitis, but these improvements were not significant and the study researchers deemed it needed more research.5 Another old study found that prostate massages may be helpful in treating prostatitis — specifically when combined with antibiotics.6

However, a more recent systematic review from 2018 concluded that it’s unclear whether prostate massages decrease or increase prostatitis symptoms. 7

Does it Improve Erectile Dysfunction?

People often cite prostate massages as a treatment for erectile dysfunction. However, there is no clear evidence linking prostate massage with improved sexual function.7 Still, an older published case study from 2004 found that prostate massages improved the sexual function of an elderly man.4 Other anecdotal reports similar to this have circulated, leading people to believe that prostate massage may help with sexual dysfunction. 4

May Enhance Sexual Pleasure

The prostate gland is often referred to as the male “G spot” or “P spot.” There is evidence to back up the notion that stimulation of the prostate during sex can be highly pleasurable and result in more intense orgasms. Although there is little understanding of the medical reasons behind this, studies describe rectal stimulation of the prostate as producing “ecstatic feelings” that may be even more pleasurable than stimulating the penis. 1

Prostate massage and prostate milking are similar, and both involve stimulation of the prostate through the rectum. Prostate milking is usually associated with sexual pleasure, and  its goal is to release seminal fluid from the prostate, which is released during an orgasm. Whereas prostate massage is sometimes medical in nature. 2

There are no known adverse effects associated with prostate massage.7 But the tissues lining the prostate and rectum are delicate and vulnerable to tears and abrasions. Massaging the prostate too roughly can easily lead to discomfort and soreness. A 2009 study that looked at self-administered prostate massages for the treatment of urinary tract symptoms among older males found that about 8% of study participants complained of rectal soreness with treatment. 8

Prostate massage is advised against certain medical conditions. For example, the American Academy of Family Physicians Foundation (AAFP) has warned that prostate massage should be avoided if you have acute bacterial prostatitis, or if you have a suspected case. 9< Anyone who is interested in having a prostate massage performed should check with their healthcare provider first, especially if they have any known medical conditions. Prostate massage should not be substituted for proper medical care or medical screenings of the prostate. Periodic prostate cancer screening is recommended for males aged 55 through 69. 10

Prostate massages may be performed by your healthcare provider, by your partner, or yourself. When performed by a healthcare provider, the massage may be similar to a rectal exam, where your healthcare provider inserts a gloved finger into your rectum, examines your prostate, and gently massages.

If you or your partner are performing a prostate massage, here are some things to keep in mind:

  • The massage should be done with clear consent, and should be stopped if discomfort or pain is experienced.
  • It’s important to thoroughly wash your hands or sex toys before insertion; some people prefer to wear gloves.
  • Liberal use of lubricant is advised.
  • To begin, insert your finger a few inches into the anus.
  • Locate the prostate, which will feel like a small lump.
  • Gently massage the prostate by moving your finger in a circular motion, or whatever motion feels comfortable and/or pleasurable.
  • For people who are uncomfortable with rectal stimulation, the prostate can be stimulated by massage and pressure on the perineum, which is the area located between the anus and scrotum.11 However, it may not be easy to find it that way. 

A prostate massage involves gentle stimulation of the prostate gland by inserting a finger or sex toy into the rectum, locating the prostate, and massaging. Prostate massages may have some medical benefits, such as reducing symptoms of prostatitis and helping with urine flow.74 However, the evidence for medical benefits is limited.

Many find prostate massage highly pleasurable and prostate massage may result in more intense orgasms. 1 Although prostate massage appears to be a relatively safe practice, it’s important to touch base with your healthcare provider before getting a prostate massage, especially if you have any underlying medical conditions. 7

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Google reveals top sex questions people asked in 2023

By Emily Brown

Google has revealed the top sex questions people asked this year – and it’s made me slightly concerned for everyone who lived before the internet.

Honestly, what the hell did people do before its creation?

You’re telling me they nipped over to the local library and scanned the shelves to find out the answers to their explicit questions?

I don’t think so.

But of course, with the creation of the internet also comes data that can be stored and analysed, allowing Google to come up with the very list we’re reporting on today.

It might be embarrassing to think about how Google probably knows exactly whether you’re among the people asking these questions, but at least you’ll know you’re not alone.

So, let’s get on with it shall we?

10 – How do fish have sex?

I bet that’s not where you thought we’d be starting, is it? But it’s a valid enough question, even if it’s never crossed your mind before.

If you’re curious now, I can tell you that fish apparently aren’t so bothered about having sex as they are with reproducing.

Spawning fish get themselves into what’s known as a ‘nuptial embrace’, where the male wraps his body around the female and releases milt into the water, while the female releases eggs which are then immediately fertilized.

Fish are more bothered about having babies than getting busy. Credit: Pixabay
Fish are more bothered about having babies than getting busy.

9 – Why do I have no sex drive female

There are a number of things that can lower your sex drive as a woman, including relationship problems, stress, anxiety or depression, sexual problems, pregnancy, medicines and hormonal contraception.

If you’re worried about low sex drive, you can get in touch with your GP for advice.

8 – What is anal sex?

Loads of you might be clued up on exactly what anal sex is, but clearly there are a lot of people still out there wondering.

To put it simply, anal sex involves penetration of the anus, rather than the vagina.

You wouldn't want to ask about anal sex in a library. Credit: Pixabay
You wouldn’t want to ask about anal sex in a library.

7 – How long after a miscarriage can you have sex?

As well as dealing with the emotional effects of miscarriage, there are also a number of physical effects which can impact sex.

People may bleed for a period of time following a miscarriage, during which time

the cervix is dilated wider than normal, making it more prone to infection.

To help ensure you can carry out healthy sex, doctors recommend waiting at least two weeks after miscarriage before inserting anything into the vagina.

6 – How many calories do you burn during sex?

Is it possible to really get a good workout from pleasure?

Research indicates that you can at least equate some fun in the bedroom to light exercise – with one study conducted by the University of Quebec at Montreal revealing that men burned an average of 101 calories in 24 minutes, while women burned 69 calories.

No, I’m not making that number up.

Sex can be considered light exercise. Credit: Pexels
Sex can be considered light exercise.

5 – How many dates should you go on before having sex?

Ah, the age-old question. What is the perfect number? Some live by the three-date rule, while others want to wait until they hit four or five.

Ultimately, it comes down to your own preferences; when you’re ready, whether you actually still like the person after a few dates, and whether you actually want to have sex with them.

4 – Why do I bleed after having sex?

The NHS states there are a number of reasons women may bleed after having sex, including an infection, vaginal dryness or damage to the vagina.

In rare instances, bleeding after sex can be a sign of cervical or vaginal cancer.

If you’re concerned, contact your GP for advice.

3 – What is sex positivity?

There are varying definitions of sex positivity, but generally it’s about openness and appreciation of sex, including sexual orientations, interests, identities and expressions.

Embrace and enjoy it!

Sex positivity is about embracing and appreciating sex. Credit: Pexels
Sex positivity is about embracing and appreciating sex.

2 – Can you have sex when pregnant?

There have been a few jokes made on TV and in films about whether the baby could be impacted by the sudden appearance of an unexpected guest in the vagina, but I can assure you that, unless you’ve been specifically advised by a doctor or midwife to avoid sex, the baby will be fine.

A penis or toy wouldn’t penetrate beyond the vagina, meaning having sex is perfectly safe.

1 – What is speed bump sex position?

Here we are, at the most Googled sex question of 2023. I’m surprised positions didn’t come up sooner, but everyone’s clearly spent this year focused on one in particular.

So, what is the speed bump?

Popularized by Love Island star Tom Clare after he mentioned it on the show, the speed bump involves one person putting a pillow under their hips before lying face down.

The pillow forms the so-called ‘speed bump’, though I’m not sure how effective it is at getting people to slow down.

So there you have it, you’ve managed to learn the answers to the year’s top sex questions without becoming a Google statistic.

You’re welcome.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Masturbation Tips for People With Vaginas

— Masturbation is a natural and healthy aspect of sexual development that has many health benefits. There are various ways for individuals with vaginas to self-pleasure, including using their hands and toys to stimulate their genitals and other erogenous zones, like the nipples.

By Rhiannon John, MSexol

Key takeaways:

  • Masturbation has many health benefits, including reducing stress, improving sleep quality, and learning what feels pleasurable.
  • The most common types of masturbation include clitoral, vaginal, and anal stimulation or a combination of the three.
  • Tips for exploring each area include applying a lubricant, slowly increasing arousal, and experimenting with different strokes, pressures, and speeds.

If you’re new to exploring self-pleasure or looking for ways to enhance your experience, we’ve gathered some tips and insights below that may be helpful.

Benefits of masturbation

Masturbation has a myriad of health benefits, making it a healthy and fun sexual activity. Masturbation has been found to:

  • Reduce stress
  • Relieve sexual tension
  • Improve sleep quality
  • Enhance knowledge of how you like to be pleasured
  • Improve mood
  • Strengthen the pelvic floor muscles
  • Alleviate period pain for some people

Different types of masturbation

There are various erogenous zones for people with vaginas for self-pleasure. In this article, we’ll focus on the most commonly practiced types of masturbation to help you get started. However, there are many ways to explore and enjoy your body, and you should always feel empowered to pleasure yourself in a comfortable and pleasurable way.

Clitoral masturbation

Clitoral masturbation is the most common form of masturbation for folks with vaginas, as many people cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is a highly sensitive erogenous zone that contains approximately 10,000 sensory nerve endings, making it a prime area for self-pleasure. You can pleasure the clitoris using your fingers to rub all areas of the clitoris, or you can use a vibrating or suction sex toy for extra stimulation.

Vaginal masturbation

Vaginal masturbation is also another common form of masturbation, and while it feels pleasurable for many people, not everyone can orgasm from vaginal stimulation. There are several pleasurable areas in the vagina that you can explore, and many people find stimulating the top wall of the vagina, often referred to as the G-spot, pleasurable. You can pleasure the vagina using your fingers or a sex toy.

Anal masturbation

The anus and rectum contain many sensory nerve endings, making anal masturbation a highly pleasurable experience. You can please the anus externally using fingers or a vibrator or internally using anal toys or fingers.

How to get started

While each person’s self-pleasure routine will look different, there are a few tips that many people use to help get them in the mood.

Create a relaxing environment

To maximize pleasure during masturbation, it’s important to ensure that you have a cozy environment. To do this, first, ensure that you have some privacy by locking the door and switching off your phone to avoid any unwelcome interruptions. If you live somewhere with limited privacy, consider jumping in the bath or shower and locking the door behind you.

Next, make your chosen room as desirable as possible by considering what is pleasurable to each of your five senses. Consider lighting candles, dimming the lights, wearing something that feels luxurious or turns you on, and playing relaxing music or sounds.

Don’t forget lubrication

You may know that a lubricant is an essential ingredient for pleasurable intercourse, but did you know that it also makes masturbation feel amazing too? While the vagina is self-lubricating, sometimes it doesn’t produce enough lubrication to make sex pleasurable. This is why you should always use a lubricant when having any kind of sexual activity. And if you’re exploring anal play, lubrication is a must, as the anus isn’t self-lubricating.

Get exploring

No matter which area of the body you intend to explore, the key is to keep an open mind and get curious about how your body can feel and respond to pleasure. Explore different sensations, pressures, speeds, and areas of the body to find out what feels best for you. You may also want to experiment with toys or erotica to help increase arousal.

Tips for exploring the clitoris

The clitoris is a highly sensitive part of the body. Here are some ways you can begin exploring what feels good to you:

  • Start slowly. Start by applying some lubrication to the clitoris and labia, then slowly begin stroking your vulva. There’s no rush to get to the clitoris, so take your time by slowly building up arousal and allowing blood to flow to the area.
  • Vary speed and pressure. When ready, move to the clitoris, rubbing or stroking it with little pressure. Then slowly increase the pressure and the speed of the strokes to your liking.
  • Different techniques. You may want to explore different techniques, such as pinching the clitoris, rubbing it in circles, or stroking it up and down. You can also use a sex toy, such as a vibrator, to gently rub or press onto the clitoris.
  • Increase the pressure. Once you have found a sensation that feels good, increase the pressure and intensity of the strokes, rubbing, or vibrations until you reach orgasm or feel like you’ve had enough.
Tips for exploring the vagina

Finding out what feels good for you inside your vagina is important for increasing sexual pleasure. Try these tips to begin your exploration slowly and sensitively:

  • Stimulate blood flow. Start by applying a lubricant to the clitoris, labia, fingers, and sex toy. Then slowly begin stroking your vulva and clitoris to increase arousal and blood flow to the vagina.
  • Slowly insert fingers or sex toy. When ready, part opens your vagina with your fingers and insert your fingers or a sex toy. Then slowly start exploring the vagina, moving your fingers or toys in a circular motion inside the vagina to find a pleasurable spot.
  • New techniques. You may want to explore different techniques, such as using your fingers in a “come here” motion to stimulate the G-spot, moving your fingers or toys in and out of your vagina, or simultaneously playing with the clitoris.
  • Keep going. Once you have found a sensation that feels good, increase the pressure and intensity of the strokes until you reach orgasm or feel like you’ve had enough.

Tips for exploring the anus

The anus can be a deeply pleasurable area for some people. Try these tips to find out if it’s something you like:

  • Always lubricate. Start by applying a lubricant to your fingers or sex toy. Then slowly begin stroking and rubbing the outside of your anus.
  • Gentle exploration. When ready, carefully insert your finger or toy into your anus, then slowly start exploring the anus, moving your fingers or toy in a circular motion inside the anus to find a pleasurable spot.
  • Experiment. You may want to explore different techniques, such as moving your fingers or toy in and out of your anus or simultaneously playing with the clitoris or vagina.

It’s important to note that when using sex toys to stimulate the anus, they should have a flared base to prevent them from getting lost in the rectum, which can result in surgical intervention.

When it comes to exploring masturbation, the key thing that you should aim for is to have a pleasurable experience. While having an orgasm can be an amazing experience, masturbation without an orgasm can also be incredibly enjoyable. So try not to pressure yourself to have an orgasm each time you masturbate, but rather stay curious about what you find pleasurable, and enjoy the experience.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to peg for beginners

— Go slow and use lots of lube.

Pegging is typically referred to a cis woman penetrating a cis man with a strap-on dildo.

By Anna Iovine

So, you’ve heard about “pegging” and want to try it for yourself. Pegging is usually referred to a cis woman penetrating a cis man with a strap-on dildo. You’ve come to the right place; here’s how to have strap-on sex as a straight couple.

If you’re curious about pegging, you’re not alone. Pegging was named the 2023 fetish of the year by porn site Clips4Sale. In 2022, unsubstantiated rumors about a certain member of the royal family — who’s been dubbed “Prince of Pegging” — circulated online, prompting searches for “pegging” to rise by 400 percent.

A note on the term ‘pegging’

Some people may find the term “pegging” offensive. It was coined back in 2001 by sex educator Dan Savage. He asked readers to vote on what term should describe the act; other choices were “bobbing” and “punting.”

As Quinn Rhodes wrote for Refinery29, calling it “pegging” instead of what it is — anal sex with a strap-on — may reinforce the idea that it’s taboo or somehow “wrong.” It could be used by cishet men trying to distance themselves from sex queer people have because of their fear of being perceived as queer or emasculine. In our society, we’re taught that sex is a man penetrating a woman, and that he has more power/control. The penetrated partner, then, is deemed as weak or submissive.

Sex is much more than P-in-V, and doesn’t have to adhere to these stereotypical power dynamics. Sex and desires also don’t determine one’s sexual orientation.

Pegging “doesn’t magically change your sexuality,” said nightlife entrepreneur and former professional dominatrix Venus Cuffs. “The goal is to have fun with each other and safety, preparation, and communication allow you to focus on pleasure and enjoying yourselves together.”

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being queer or submissive, but these ingrained beliefs can take time to unlearn. Before having strap-on anal sex, reflect on and explore your relationship to power and penetration, advised Nicoletta Heidegger, MA, MEd, licensed MFT and sex therapist and host of the Sluts & Scholars podcast.

Why peg?

Anal sex can feel great, explained Heidegger. There are lots of nerve-endings in one’s anus, especially if you have a prostate.

Couples interested in pegging may want to expand other creative ways to experience pleasure, she continued, or struggle to feel pleasure on other body parts. Also, if one partner doesn’t want to be or can’t be penetrated, pegging can be another way to connect.

Preparing to peg

Anal sex is different from vaginal sex. While lubricant is a good idea for the latter, it’s absolutely essential for the former. The anus doesn’t naturally lubricate itself like the vagina does, and it’s also not used to anything being inserted in it (quite the opposite!). Therefore, you need to prepare yourself for anal sex. Head over to Mashable’s guide for a full breakdown of how to do so, but here’s some tips from Heidegger and Cuffs.

Talk about your boundaries, said Heidegger. Mashable has a guide to setting sexual boundaries to help out with that, too. You can watch some classes, as well; Heidegger recommends how-to videos at B Vibe and sex educator Luna Matatas’s classes.

Start small. “When you’re preparing for your first anal insertion, start your preparations with smaller butt plugs, beads, and dildos before you try to go for the desired size of your insertable,” said Cuffs. You or your partner’s fingers can also serve as preparation for something bigger, or even thrusting/grinding can get you used to the feeling of something there.

Think about what sensations you’re after when shopping for a dildo. “Some people, for example, love curved insertables and others do not,” Cuffs said. “There’s also a variety of thickness and length to consider.”

If you’re using toys, make sure they either have a large flared base or hold it if it’s not attached to your partner’s harness. “Things can absolutely get sucked into your ass and get stuck. Full stop,” Cuffs warned. “To avoid ending up in the hospital with doctors removing items from your butt, please only use items that have a base or be prepared to hold it the entire time it is inserted.”

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Pegging 101

Go slow and take your time to experiment and see what you like. Don’t try to shove a dildo in there right away — build up to it with fingers and smaller toys. You may not peg your first-ever session; that’s okay.

Decide if you want to clean out the anus (more about that in our guide to preparing for anal sex) or make dietary changes to help with your digestion (@bottomsdigest is a fun TikTok account that discusses this). Be sure to thoroughly clean any toys (and hands) before and after use.

“And of course, use lube!” Cuffs said. “Loads of lube!” It’s a good idea to have other emergency supplies at the ready, too, like wipes and gloves. Heidegger recommends getting a sex blanket as well.

As always, communication is important. Have a safe word, Heidegger said, and make sure you have a way to check-in during sex. Ask each other: what will I see and hear if you are enjoying yourself? What will I see and hear if you’re not?

“Accept that shit can happen!” Heidegger said. We’re only human after all, and we humans have bodily functions. Clean it up and move on.

Heidegger also recommends having an aftercare plan, both for if it goes well and if it brings up feelings. Trying something new in bed can do this, especially if you’re being penetrated for the first time.

With the right preparation, anal strap-on sex can be fun for both partners. Remember to take deep breaths and try to relax — that’ll help your anus relax, too.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Sex after prostate cancer

— Prostate cancer treatments can have side effects that may result in changes that affect intimacy, desire and function. While these symptoms are often temporary, they can be distressing and it’s important to talk to your physician about what to expect and the steps you can take to improve them.

Why this happens

As men become sexually aroused, the brain sends messages through the nervous system to the muscular walls of the blood vessels in the penis. The vessels enlarge, allowing more blood to flow into the penis. The incoming blood makes the penis bigger and harder, causing an erection.

Even if your libido is normal, your hormones, nervous system, muscles and blood vessels need to work properly to get an erection. Cancer treatments may affect your hormones, which in turn can affect your libido as well as the nerves, muscles or blood vessels that play important roles in causing an erection.

Prostate cancer treatment and erectile dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the most common side effects of prostate cancer treatment. Nearly all men will have trouble getting an erection for a period of time after undergoing different types of treatment, such as:

  • Surgery. The nerves responsible for an erection (the cavernous nerves) travel very close to the prostate gland and may be injured during the removal of the prostate. Nearly all men who have their prostate removed will have trouble getting an erection for some time, even if they have a “nerve-sparing” operation. However, most men recover with time.
  • Radiation therapy. Damage to the delicate tissues involved in getting an erection, such as nerves, blood vessels or blood flow, can occur with radiation therapy. These side effects appear more slowly during the year after treatment. Men may have softer erections, lose their erection before climax (orgasm) or not be able to get an erection at all.
  • Chemotherapy. The drugs used in chemotherapy treatment of prostate cancer may affect your libido and erections if it affects testosterone production, but most men still have normal erections. Chemotherapy can also cause fatigue or distress, which can affect your sexual desire and ability to have an erection, but normal desire usually returns when treatment ends.
  • Hormone therapy. The prostate depends on androgens, such as testosterone, to do its work. Unfortunately, testosterone may help some prostate cancers to grow. The hormone treatment used in prostate cancer, called androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) blocks androgens to slow the growth of prostate cancer, but it can also decrease libido and sexual function. (ADT does not cure prostate cancer.)

Recovery after prostate cancer treatment

Time is the most important factor in recovery. The healing process for men who have had nerve-sparing radical prostatectomy (removal of the prostate) is often 18 to 24 months or more, because nerve tissue requires a longer time to heal. How much erectile function returns depends on several things:

  • The type of operation you had (one, both, or no nerves spared). Most men with intact nerves will see a substantial improvement within a year of treatment.
  • Your age: Men under 50 or 60 are more likely to recover their erections than older men.
  • Your erectile function before the operation. Men who had good erections before surgery are more likely to recover their ability to get an erection than those who had previous erection problems.

It is also common to need medications to assist with erectile function, even if you did not need them before your operation.

Rehabilitation and aids

Studies suggest that starting a program to promote erections about six weeks after surgery can help some men recover sexual function. Different methods are available, depending on your case, your level of motivation and the judgment of your surgeon. These penile rehabilitation programs focus on increasing blood flow to the area to encourage healing and help men have regular erections that are hard enough for penetration. Having two to three erections a week, even if there is no sexual activity, helps keep the tissues in the penis healthy.

Several options are available to treat ED, and they may or may not be part of a rehabilitation program:

  • Medication: sildenafil/Viagra®, tadalafil/Cialis® or vardenafil/Levitra MUSE™(a prostaglandin suppository that you insert into your urethra)
  • Vacuum erection devices
  • Penile implant
  • Penile self-injection with a prostaglandin: alprostadil/Caverjet™/Edex™

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to bottom better (for the more experienced)

— Some words of wisdom about lube, positions, douching, and more for better pleasure in bed.

 

By Charles Orgbon III

Bottoming can be an intimate and enjoyable experience for many, but if you’re not prepared – both physically and mentally – it might end in what I like to call a “poo-tastrophe.” For those just dipping their toes in the water, plenty of resources exist online about how to douche, the importance of communication, and why you should carefully listen to your body around bottoming. But as a card-carrying bottom, I have a few additional items I’d like to add to the syllabus.

Here are some words of wisdom to help you experience better pleasure:

Don’t starve yourself — you can eat!

Whether it be for Folsom Street Fair, San Francisco Pride, Chicago Market Days, or Palm Springs’ Blatino Oasis, many bottoms spend entire weekends drinking only water and only eating salads for breakfast, lunch, and dinner so they can “stay ready.” Life doesn’t have to be so restrictive. I found it incredibly liberating when I realized that I have about 2 hours after eating to have anxiety-free receptive sex.

Knowing a timeframe for my body allowed me to make better decisions about when to eat without fear of whether or not I was playing gastrointestinal Russian Roulette. Everybody is different, but for me, meals with wholesome and fibrous foods, as opposed to highly processed foods, allowed me to extend my safe-zone window.

You may need to experience accidents to discover what works and doesn’t work for your body, and if a top doesn’t have patience for you to do this work, I hope you’ll trust me when I tell you that they’re not worth your time.

Save time and use a shower attachment

I bought my first hand-held douche in Amsterdam back in 2017. No one told me that there’s a difference between a vaginal douche and an anal douche. It took me a few years of living in complete oblivion, but I am glad I know now and I eventually found a douching bulb with a finer, more comfortable insert.

…until I realized there was even something better!

Shower attachments are an efficient and usually affordable alternative to bulb douches. Whether you rent or own, you can install them in your shower and they are ready to go at a moment’s notice.

And here’s a life hack: just about any hand-held shower device can be unscrewed and turned into a douching mechanism when held in the right position with the right amount of water pressure. When traveling, try finding the hotel rooms with these types of showers, and you can thank me later!

Find the right position

Many of us have heard of missionary, doggy style, and cowboy. Porn sites love to mention these as prominent categories, but what about superman, leg glider, or seesaw? And scissoring is not just for lesbians! GAY SEX POSITIONS GUIDE fascinates me with a universe of options that make me eager to try with a partner. Use this guide to stimulate (in multiple senses of the word!) conversations about what might be the best position for you. Discover the best way for your partner to reach your prostate.

The trick for partners with smaller penises

Just because someone has a large penis doesn’t make them the best in bed and the opposite can be equally said for someone with a small penis. Sex is so much more than just the physicality of our organs–so don’t discount your potential partners who may be a little less than average. There’s something you can do to achieve pleasure.

Try using a little less lube for a bit more friction, creating a more intense sensation. However, be careful to not use too little lube because friction can also lead to more internal small cuts that increase STI risk. If you’re not using condoms and lube, consider adding Doxy PEP and PrEP to your repertoire.

Find the right lube

The market presents us bottoms with many options for lube. Water-based lubes dry up quickly, but are compatible with sex toys and condoms.

Oil-based lubes such as coconut oil last a bit longer, but shouldn’t be used with condoms (they can cause condoms to break).

Then, there’s silicone lube, like Pjur Back Door, which lasts longer, but is expensive and can stain sheets and clothing.

Premium lubes, like Astroglide X, blend water and silicone so they don’t stain sheets.

I prefer silicone lubes, even though they’re more expensive. But people have their own preferences, and it’s worth taking the time to experiment with different products to find ones that you like for different things (you might like a different lube with toys than one for a partner).

Here’s how to get rid of the post-sex trapped gas

I know that I’m not the only one that’s experienced a longer bottoming session, leaving me with excess air in my gut and feeling a bit bloated. When this happens, I start by walking around and massaging my stomach. If ginger is within reach, I crunch it up and make a tea. For the quickest results, however, I drink caffeine, which excites my digestive system and allows me to expel something, hopefully some of the gas along with it. And voila! Relief!

Bottoming requires so many considerations, and this article isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list, but hopefully makes you think and offers a perspective from the receiving end of things that may be helpful.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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20 Things You Need to Do to Be a Good Top

— It’s time for all the tops out there to step their game up!

By

The pandemic is over, and it’s time for the tops to show up and show out. Yes, we know, 99.99% of us gays prefer to bottom, but that doesn’t mean the other half of the equation gets to be lazy.

Here are 20 tips that will help you step up your top game and be sure to lay that pipe just right.

1. Have some serious foreplay

We’ve all been there. We’re turned on, we’re excited, we just want to get to the game, but sometimes the tailgate is the best part. You want the experience to last. You want him to feel comfortable. Take your time before getting to the actual penetration.

2. Don’t fear a little intimacy

I bet you gay gasped at the thought. Listen, physical touch and intimacy heighten all the sensations. Even if this is the first (and only) time you get together, use your hands and your lips just as much as your other parts.

2. Have the condoms

While it’s not the job of all tops to carry condoms, it’s often expected that they are the ones who will. Don’t rely on the bottom to carry the condoms. As the top, the responsibility is more on you. Also, yes, I know PrEP is a thing, and you should be on it. While a miracle drug, it doesn’t protect against other STIs besides HIV, and even if your partner is on PrEP, he may still want to use a condom.

3. Gently enter and ask how it feels

For the love of god, don’t start off by jack hammering. Go slow. Let him get used to having you inside of him. Ask how they feel. Ask if he needs more lube or if you need to pull out for a second.

4. Switch up positions and speeds

Don’t do the same thing the whole time. Speed up. Slow down. Switch positions. While (most) bottoms like to be pounded extra hard in doggystyle, that’s not the only thing we like. Oh, and it can be super sexy to make out while you’re inside of him. If you can jerk him off while you’re inside him too, even better.

5. Give him a break if he’s on top

It takes a lot of work to do cowboy, or any other riding position. Unless he’s a porn star, he’s going to get tired. Sometimes he won’t feel comfortable asking you to switch positions, which is why you should preemptively ask him if he wants to switch it up.

6. Do not false advertise

You know your junk better than anyone else. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I meet a guy, we go back, and he is freakin’ huge. Like donkey d*ck, monster huge. I’m like, where do you expect me to put that? Why did you not give me fair warning? I could have loosened up for you. This is no longer sexy that you’re well-endowed. It’s just annoying. Then there’s the other side of the coin. Don’t lie about being bigger than you are. You can’t hide it. Like, we’re going to find out and be annoyed if you gave yourself an extra three inches.

7. Pull out if you’re going to orgasm too quickly

Slow it down if you’re about to orgasm. If that’s not enough, pull out and do some other “stuff” while your body takes a break. You don’t want to ejaculate within seconds of being inside of him.

8. If you do ejaculate prematurely, let him know your refractory time, and go again

It’s not the end of the world if you orgasm quickly. Just let him know you can have some other fun for a little bit, and then go at it again. Just because you finish once, doesn’t mean that’s the end. Go again! And the second time, you’ll be able to last longer.

9. Don’t be annoying with putting on the condom

Don’t try to sneak it in there without asking. For the love of God, don’t take it off in the middle of having sex without telling him. Sex with condoms can be really annoying. Trust me, I know. But you need to respect your bottom and his wishes.

10. Say his name during sex

This is just hot. It makes him feel special and wanted. I haven’t met a single guy who doesn’t like hearing his name out loud during sex. It’s a simple yet effective turn-on technique.

11. Don’t make a big deal if you get a little “mud” on you

Butts are not chocolate soft serves. Yes, some poop can come out, but not that often or that much if you’re aware of your body. That said, it will happen at some point. It’s inevitable. Don’t make a big deal. Simply ask to change condoms. Or, if you don’t mind, afterwards, take off the condom, wrap it in a paper towel and throw it out without him seeing. Then go wash yourself off. You don’t need to tell him it happened if he didn’t realize. There’s no reason to embarrass him.

12. Read your partner and when in doubt, ask

Sometimes your partner will be vocal. It’ll be clear what he wants you to do. Other times, you’ll have to read him more. Would he like you to go slower or faster? Harder or softer? If you’re not sure, just ask!

13. Let him know when you’re about to finish and ask him where he wants you to orgasm

Some guys like it when you finish inside of them. Other guys, not so much. Some guys like you to finish on unlikely places. Be a gentleman and do what he asks. If he says he doesn’t care, still give him a heads up by telling him where you’re going to ejaculate.

14. Help him finish afterward

Just because you finished doesn’t mean the fun is over. Some bottoms don’t like to ejaculate, but many do. Don’t assume because you were the top that sex is over once you finish. Don’t be greedy. Help him finish if he wants to.

15. Don’t rush out afterward

If you want him to feel used, then yes, rush out afterwards. If not, lay in bed with him for a while. Cuddle. Have some pillow talk. Let him know that he’s more than just a piece of meat. Unless, of course, this was the agreement and both you knew it was a quickie. If that’s the case, then don’t overstay your welcome. Get the hell out.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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How to keep your sex life thriving after prostate cancer

— Poor sexual function is the most common consequence of prostate cancer treatment, but support through the NHS is patchy and many men suffer in silence.

By Laura Milne

When BBC presenter Gabby Logan and her husband Kenny, the former Scotland rugby union winger, experienced difficulties with their sex life after he had his prostate removed last year, rather than keep it under wraps, they decided to make a podcast about it.

The couple, who have been married for 22 years, discussed their issues in an interview about Kenny’s prostate cancer diagnosis and subsequent erectile dysfunction on Gabby’s podcast The Mid Point.

Kenny, 51, who won 70 international caps representing Scotland, said his wife, 50, had expected the passion in their relationship to be reignited “immediately” after his operation and when he was unable to perform, it knocked his confidence badly.

He said: “When we first tried to have sex after the operation, Gabby said, ‘Oh, it’s not working, that’s it, it’s not working’. You didn’t even give me a chance. What actually happened from that was my confidence went rock bottom.

Gabby and Kenny’s experience is far from unusual. In the UK, prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer in men and more than 395,000 were living with it, or had been successfully treated for it, in 2018.

According to the Life After Prostate Cancer Diagnosis (LAPCD) study of 35,000 men in the UK, funded by men’s health charity Movember, poor sexual function is the most common consequence of prostate cancer treatment (79 percent with prostate cancer compared with 48per cent of men in the general population).

Unfortunately, the problem remains one that is either not addressed routinely or at all in prostate cancer care.

The LAPCD study found that 56 per cent of men were not offered any help with sexual dysfunction following their treatment.

Problems with sex can lead to stress, anxiety, anger and even shame.

Some men don’t like to talk about vulnerable feelings because they think they should be “strong and silent”. Others avoid talking because they’re overwhelmed or trying not to burden their partner.

But learning how to face these challenges and work through them can strengthen your sexual wellbeing, explains Dr Karen Robb, Implementation Director for Cancer at Movember. “Sexual wellbeing – the balance between the physical, social and emotional aspects of sex – has not always been a common topic of conversation, but fortunately that is changing,” she says.

“Talking about sex after prostate cancer can be uncomfortable but open communication between you and your partner, if you have one, is a key part of sexual recovery following treatment. Acknowledge what has changed for you so that you can do something about it, with the right support.”

Almost every kind of prostate cancer treatment, including surgery, can cause sexual dysfunction, the most common of which is erectile dysfunction or ED, following a prostatectomy (surgical removal of the prostate).

This means that although you may feel aroused or in the mood for sex, chances are you’ll have difficulty getting an erection.

Why does ED happen after prostate cancer surgery?

“Surgery to remove the prostate affects the nerves and blood supply around the penis,” explains Karen. “The penis needs a healthy blood flow to get an erection. Without this, it won’t become as hard as it did before surgery.”

During surgery, the entire prostate is removed. The nerves that help create erections run down the left and right sides of the prostate gland. The surgeon can usually take out the prostate without causing permanent harm to the nerves on either side.

But if your cancer is too close to the nerves, they may need to be cut out.

How long does ED last after surgery?

It might take some time to improve, and the level of function you get back depends on a number of things including your age, lifestyle, any medications you take and whether you had nerve-sparing surgery.

As Karen explains: “Some things you can work on, such as exercise and keeping a healthy weight.

“Some are a bit more out of your control. However, all are things you can talk about with your doctor and see what recommendations they have that can help.”

What can you do about ED after prostate cancer?

Sex and intimacy after prostate cancer can look different for everyone, but there are options to keep your sex life thriving. Exploring new ways to have sexual pleasure and intimacy is essential after treatment and can even be a way of improving your erections.

There are different types of ­medication and sexual aids that you can try, all with pros and cons.

Everyone is unique so you may need to try out a few options a number of times and perhaps in combination to settle on the best solution for you. Discuss this with your healthcare provider.

To support men and their partners following prostate cancer treatment, Movember has launched an evidence-based online guide
called Sex and Intimacy After Prostate Cancer.

Informed by sexual health experts, it covers ED, dealing with physical changes after surgery, connecting with a partner, restoring intimacy, and coping with stress and anxiety. It also provides practical strategies, such as exercises, information about medication and devices, and how to have conversations with your doctor or care team.

“It’s vital to talk and not to just ignore it”

Chris Pedlar, 56, took early retirement from the Environment Agency in 2022 after 33 years, and lives with his partner in Devon. Nine years ago, Chris became the third generation in his family to bediagnosed with prostate cancer.

“My grandfather died from prostate cancer and my father was treated for it when he was 60. He went on to live for another 25 years, cancer free. He made sure that I started having PSA tests at 45 and I was picked up as having medium-risk cancer at 48.

“I opted for surgery rather than radiotherapy as I knew I would have the option of additional radiotherapy later on.

“Due to my father’s experience, I knew beforehand what to expect. Although I recovered quickly from the surgery itself, I had some of the usual side effects, including erectile dysfunction and some minor urinary problems, which I’ll have for life. I tried all the usual interventions such as injections, which made me feel terrible, and pumps which, while they serve a purpose, are a huge commitment. It didn’t put me off seeking advice though.

“Sex is an important part of a relationship and just because you’ve had a cancer diagnosis, it doesn’t mean that part of your life is over.

“Cancer can put a massive strain on a relationship – it affects both partners and you need to be able to talk about it honestly with each other. My partner and I have found that humour is the best way to deal with the problems we had, and I was determined from day one, this was not going to get me down.

“Because of the stage my cancer was at when it was discovered, I wasn’t able to have nerve-sparing surgery. That meant drugs like sildenafil (Viagra) shouldn’t have worked for me because of the nerve damage caused by the surgery. Everyone’s situation is different, but I never gave up hope, and after three years I asked my doctor if I could give sildenafil a try to see if it would help in any way, and I was pleasantly surprised to find it worked for me.

“From the beginning, I decided to be very open about my cancer. I recognise that not everyone deals with the experience in the same way. A lot of men bury their heads in the sand and won’t ask for help, even though it is having a negative impact on their lives.

“I was comfortable with talking to my doctor about ED because I wanted to find a solution – but a lot of men are reluctant to even mention it and so they just suffer in silence, which can have a negative effect on their mental health and their relationships.

“We need to work harder to break down those barriers that prevent men from talking about problems seeking help and seeing their GP when they need to.”

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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Anal Douching

— How to Prepare and Do It Safely

If you’ve ever considered exploring anal play, it’s natural to have concerns about the potential mess involved. While this mess is nothing to be ashamed of, many people seek a cleaner experience and turn to anal douching. Let’s explore precisely what anal douching is and how to do it safely so that you can focus on pleasure rather than the mess.

By Rhiannon John, MSexol

  • Anal douching involves flushing the rectum with a liquid solution using tools like shower enemas, bulb enemas, fleet enemas, or enema bags.
  • People douche to reduce fecal matter in the rectum for a cleaner experience during anal sex, regardless of sexual orientation.
  • Some research suggests that anal douching may damage the protective cells in the rectum, potentially increasing the risk of STI and HIV transmission.
  • Alternatives to douching include maintaining a high-fiber diet, using wipes for cleanup, using a sex blanket or dark-colored sheets for sheet protection, and prioritizing personal comfort and enjoyment during anal play.

Anal douching explained

Anal douching refers to the practice of cleaning or flushing out the rectum by introducing a liquid solution into the anus. It involves using a specialized device or tool, such as a shower enema, bulb enema, fleet enema, or enema bag, to flush water or a mild saline solution into the rectal area.

The process typically involves filling the device with the desired cleansing solution, gently inserting the nozzle into the anus, and releasing the liquid into the rectum. After a brief period, the expelled liquid and any residual waste are eliminated by emptying the bowels.

Why do people douche?

Many individuals choose to douche to minimize fecal matter in their rectum, providing a cleaner experience during receptive anal sex and reducing concerns about the potential mess. Although it is frequently practiced within the gay community, anal douching can be utilized by anyone interested in engaging in anal play.

Is it anal douching safe?

Some research has found that using anal douches can lead to damage to the outer layer of cells that line the inner surface of the rectum. These cells serve as a protective barrier and are crucial for the overall health and proper functioning of rectal tissues. When this protective barrier is compromised or damaged, it can potentially increase the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV.

If you do want to use a douche, it is crucial to prioritize safety by using the appropriate equipment. It is recommended to purchase douches from reliable sources like a pharmacy or a sex store and carefully follow the instructions on the packaging.

Making your own douche at home is not advisable, as it could cause injury. Furthermore, always ensure that your hands or gloves are freshly cleaned before using a douche, and allow sufficient time between douches. It is important to note that if you have anal fissures or hemorrhoids, douches are not recommended. It is always best to consult a medical professional if you have doubts or concerns about using a douche.

Products needed to douche

To anal douche yourself at home, you will need to select a type of douche, as well as either water or a saline solution, to enter into the rectum. Both saline solution and water can be used for anal douching, and the choice between the two ultimately depends on personal preference and individual needs. However, there are a few different types of douches available.

  • Shower enema. A shower enema is a douching method that utilizes a special attachment that can be connected to a shower head. This attachment allows the water to flow directly into the rectum. It typically provides a continuous and controlled stream of water, making it convenient for those who prefer a thorough cleaning. Shower enemas are often adjustable, allowing the user to regulate the water pressure and temperature.
  • Bulb enema. A bulb enema, also known as a bulb syringe or anal bulb, consists of a rubber or silicone bulb attached to a nozzle. This type of douche is manually operated by squeezing the bulb to expel the liquid into the rectum. Bulb enemas are generally small and compact, making them easy to use and convenient for travel.
  • Fleet enema. Fleet enema is a commercially available pre-packaged douche product that comes in a disposable bottle. It contains a saline solution or a combination of water and laxative agents. Fleet enemas are commonly used for bowel cleansing and constipation relief but can also be used for anal douching. They typically feature a lubricated nozzle attached to the bottle, allowing easy insertion and controlled liquid delivery.
  • Enema bag. An enema bag is a larger-capacity douching device that consists of a bag or reservoir made of rubber or silicone and long tubing with a nozzle. The bag is filled with the desired cleansing solution, and a clamp on the tubing controls the flow of liquid. Enema bags provide the flexibility to adjust the flow rate and volume of the liquid according to personal preference.

How to douche

If you’re looking to safely douche, follow the steps outlined below.

Prepare yourself

Firstly make sure that your hands are clean and that you have read the instructions of your douche kit. Fill the reservoir with lukewarm water or a saline solution. Don’t use harsh chemicals or soaps in the solution, as they irritate the rectal lining. It’s best to use a solution specifically formulated for anal douching, which can be purchased from a pharmacy or sex store. Next, apply a water-based lubricant to the tip of the nozzle to make insertion more comfortable.

Position yourself

Find a comfortable position that allows easy access to the rectal area. Many people find it helpful to douche in the shower to help with the mess, using a squatting motion to help with insertion.

Insert the nozzle and squeeze in the solution

Gently and slowly insert the nozzle into the rectum. Take your time and listen to your body’s signals to avoid any discomfort. Depending on the type of douche kit you’re using, squeeze the bulb or follow the specific instructions provided with the kit to release the cleansing solution into the rectum. Avoid using excessive pressure to prevent any potential damage to the rectal lining.

Remove the nozzle and the solution

Once the solution is inside, remove the nozzle and allow yourself some time to hold the liquid inside. Then, gently evacuate the contents into the toilet or shower. You may need to repeat this process several times until the expelled fluid is clear.

Clean and store the equipment

After you’re done, if your douche isn’t disposable, thoroughly clean the nozzle and reservoir with warm water and mild soap. Ensure the douche is completely dry before storing it in a clean and hygienic place.

How often can you douche?

While there is no specific scientific consensus on how frequently you should douche, it is generally recommended by healthcare professionals to limit douching to 2–3 times per week.

Is douching different for women and men?

Since men and women have the same rectal anatomy, anal douching is generally the same for all individuals with functioning rectums. However, the methods and tools used for anal douching can vary depending on personal preference and individual needs.

It’s worth mentioning that when people commonly refer to “douching” in the context of people with vaginas, they usually refer to vaginal douching, which is a different practice altogether unrelated to anal douching.

Do I need to douche?

The decision to douche is a personal decision. While anal douching is one way to reduce the presence of fecal matter in the rectum, alternative methods are available. These include maintaining a high-fiber diet, which can involve incorporating sources of fiber such as psyllium husk and avoiding foods that may cause stomach discomfort.

If you aren’t into douching, there are other ways that you can help to manage the mess so that you can focus on pleasure instead.

  • Have wipes on hand. Having wipes readily available during anal play can assist with cleanup.
  • Use a sex blanket. Using a sex blanket can provide added protection and convenience. Placing a blanket beneath you or in the immediate vicinity can help catch any fluids or messes during anal play. This can help minimize the impact on your bedding and make cleanup more manageable.
  • Use dark sheets. Some individuals find it helpful to use dark-colored sheets and a sex towel during anal play. By using dark-colored sheets, any potential stains or marks from lubricants or other fluids are less likely to be noticeable or cause concern.

Ultimately, whether or not to douche is a personal preference based on your comfort level and preferences. The main idea is to create an environment where you can fully enjoy the experience without unnecessary concerns about cleanliness.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

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The Health Issues Men Don’t Talk About

— (But They Really Should)

It’s taken a long time. But there is finally a growing awareness of the importance of discussing health issues openly and honestly.

By Northern Life

A lot of men shy away from discussing their health concerns because of social stigmas and embarrassment. Sometimes it’s because they simply don’t know where to turn for help. Addressing these issues openly and providing the necessary information and support is crucial.

Testicular Cancer

Testicular cancer is another health issue that often goes unaddressed due to embarrassment or fear. However, early detection is crucial for successful treatment and improved outcomes. It happens when abnormal cells develop in the testicles.

Common symptoms include a painless lump or swelling in one or both testicles. You might notice a feeling of heaviness in the scrotum or that your testicles have changed shape or weight. These symptoms can also be caused by other conditions, it’s true, but you need to talk to a doctor if you notice any of them.

Regular self-examinations are recommended. By familiarizing themselves with the normal size, shape, and weight of their testicles, men can quickly identify any changes or abnormalities. If a lump or other concerning symptoms are noticed, it is crucial to consult a doctor promptly.

While the topic of testicular cancer may be uncomfortable to discuss, early detection and treatment can significantly improve the chances of a full recovery. Men should prioritize their health by raising awareness and openly discussing this issue.

Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) affects a significant number of men, but it remains shrouded in silence. ED refers to the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. It can stem from various factors, including physical, psychological, or lifestyle-related causes. It’s normal to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection sometimes. But persistent problems can have a significant impact.

One common physical cause of ED is the restricted blood flow to the penis. Diabetes, high blood pressure, or cardiovascular disease can be potential causes. You might also suffer from ED if you are dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression. It’s probably not too surprising to learn that smoking, drinking too much booze, and not having an active lifestyle can increase the risk of developing it.

The first step in addressing ED is to have an open conversation with a healthcare professional. Doctors can help identify the underlying causes and recommend appropriate treatment options.

It is essential to recognize that ED is a treatable condition. By breaking the silence and seeking medical assistance, men can regain control over their sexual health and improve their overall well-being. If you want to learn more about treatments for ED, then you can check out what’s available at The Independent Pharmacy. They are a regulated online pharmacy that can help you find the right prescription and over-the-counter treatment.

Mental Health

Societal expectations that encourage men to be stoic and tough can create barriers to seeking help. However, mental health issues can affect anyone. It doesn’t matter what your gender is.

Depression, anxiety, and stress are widespread right now. Men need to understand that seeking help for these kinds of issues is a sign of strength. Mental health professionals are trained to provide support and guidance in managing these conditions. There’s therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and practicing stress-reducing techniques like meditation or mindfulness can also help to

By breaking the silence surrounding mental health and seeking appropriate support, men can effectively manage their mental health conditions and lead fulfilling lives.

Prostate Health

Prostate health is a critical aspect of men’s overall well-being. But it can be so tough for people to talk about it openly. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men, and it is essential to address it openly. Early detection is crucial for successful treatment and improved outcomes. However, the fear, stigma, or lack of awareness surrounding prostate cancer can discourage men from discussing it or seeking regular screenings.

Regular prostate screenings are recommended for men over the age of 50. You should get one earlier if you have a family history of prostate cancer. These screenings can help detect any abnormalities in the prostate gland and identify potential cancerous cells.

By breaking the silence and openly discussing prostate health, men can become proactive in monitoring their prostate health, addressing any concerns, and seeking timely medical intervention when necessary. Open conversations and awareness about prostate health can help save lives and ensure a better quality of life for men as they age.

Sexual Health And STDs

Sexual health is integral to overall well-being, and men should prioritize discussions about it. Safe sexual practices and regular check-ups can help prevent and detect sexually transmitted diseases. They also mean that you can enjoy an active sexual life.

Engaging in unprotected sexual activity or having multiple sexual partners can increase your risk of catching something. Open and honest communication with sexual partners about sexual health is essential. Discussing sexual history, STD testing, and using barrier methods such as condoms can help reduce the risk of contracting or spreading STDs. Regular STD testing is recommended, especially after engaging in unprotected sexual activity or changing sexual partners.

If diagnosed with an STD, it is crucial to seek prompt medical treatment and inform any sexual partners to prevent further transmission. A lot of STDs can be treated with antibiotics or antiviral medications. Additionally, healthcare providers can offer guidance on preventive measures, safe sexual practices, and regular screenings.

Men can reduce the stigma surrounding STDs, increase awareness, and take necessary precautions to protect themselves and their partners by promoting open conversations about sexual health,

Substance Abuse And Addiction

Substance abuse and addiction are significant health concerns that affect men disproportionately. Societal expectations and pressures can sometimes lead men to turn to substances such as alcohol, tobacco, or drugs as coping mechanisms, as we saw a lot during the pandemic. There can be serious mental and physical consequences when any of those substances are abused.

Breaking the silence surrounding substance abuse and addiction is essential. Men should be encouraged to seek support. There are treatment options out there, from counseling to detox and rehab programmes.

Men can smash the stigma associated with seeking help and create a supportive environment for those struggling with these issues when they talk about them. Addiction is a treatable condition, and men can embark on a journey towards recovery and regain control over their lives with the right support,

Wrapping It Up

Addressing the health issues men often avoid discussing is crucial for their well-being. By breaking the silence and encouraging discussions about these topics, men can take control of their health, seek appropriate medical assistance, and lead healthier, fulfilling lives. Remember, it’s time to break the barriers and prioritize men’s health through open dialogue and support. There is no such thing as an embarrassing health concern. And you might just be amazed by how much better you feel once you start talking.

It’s taken a long time. But there is finally a growing awareness of the importance of discussing health issues openly and honestly. The idea of “embarrassing” health problems is being challenged more and more frequently. But some topics still get swept under the carpet, especially when it comes to men’s health.

A lot of men shy away from discussing their health concerns because of social stigmas and embarrassment. Sometimes it’s because they simply don’t know where to turn for help. Addressing these issues openly and providing the necessary information and support is crucial.

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‘Between pleasure and health’

— How sex-tech firms are reinventing the vibrator

British firm MysteryVibe’s original vibrator was designed to alleviate pain in the vagina.

A new wave of sex toys is designed to combine orgasmic joy with relief from dryness, tension and pain

By

At first glance, it could be mistaken for a chunky bracelet or hi-tech fitness tracker. But the vibrations delivered by this device will not alert you to a new message or that you have hit your daily step goal. Neither are they strictly intended for your wrist.

Welcome to the future of vibrators, designed not only for sexual pleasure, but to tackle medical problems such as vaginal dryness, or a painful and inflamed prostate gland in men.

“The current standard of care if you go to a therapist, gynaecologist or urologist, is they will insert one or two fingers to reach the painful areas and massage them to alleviate the pain,” said Soumyadip Rakshit, CEO and co-founder of sex-tech company MysteryVibe.

“We bring together the best of biomedical engineering to recreate what currently works, so people can access these therapies easily, discreetly and cost effectively.”

MysteryVibe is not the only company that is striving to alter our relationship with sex toys. A “smart vibrator” developed by the US-based startup Lioness contains sensors that measure women’s pelvic floor movements, allowing them to track how their arousal and orgasms may be changing over time or in response to stress or alcohol. An “erection ring” developed by US company FirmTech claims to enhance men’s performance while tracking the duration and turgidity of their erections and the number of nocturnal episodes they experience – an indicator of cardiovascular health.

Dr Rakshit in the lab. MysteryVibe is funding research to back up their scientific claims.

“There are a number of different products that are now sort of skirting the line between pleasure and health,” said Dr Rachel Rubin, a urologist and sexual medicine specialist based in Washington DC. “These companies today are focusing on [pelvic] anatomy and physiology, and using what we know to try to enhance pleasure, joy, intimacy and fun.”

MysteryVibe’s laboratory – the only facility conducting vibrator research and development within the UK – is incongruously housed in a former dairy in a rural business park near Guildford, Surrey. The first clue that this is no standard office unit is an issue of Playboy tucked behind a magazine about technology startups. Then I spot a tray of wand-shaped mechanical devices, in various states of undress, their bright components resembling children’s Duplo blocks.

These are stripped-back Crescendo vibrators, MysteryVibe’s original product, which was designed to target and release tender areas inside the vagina and alleviate pelvic pain, for example in women whose pelvic floor muscles have been damaged as a result of childbirth.

“The simple answer to pelvic pain is physiotherapy. But most mums either are unaware of this, or don’t have the time and/or money to pay for it,” Soumyadip said.

Registered as medical devices, and marketed at scientific conferences, such products are a far cry from the oversized dildos traditionally stocked by sex shops. MysteryVibe is even funding research to back up their scientific claims. Preliminary results from a small trial involving 11 women with genito-pelvic pain or penetration disorder – where the muscles around the vagina contract whenever an attempt is made to penetrate – suggested that using the Crescendo device three times a week for 12 weeks resulted in significant improvement.

Larger randomised trials are needed. But other scientific evidence supports the use of vibrators in various female health conditions too. According to a recent review by Dr Alexandra Dubinskaya, a urologist at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, and colleagues, they can improve pelvic floor muscle function, facilitate the treatment of vulvar pain and enhance women’s sexual experiences.

“We know that vibration causes vasodilation, meaning the vessels that bring blood to the organs get wider and can bring more blood. It also promotes neuromodulation, meaning it can retrain the nerves – especially those nerves responsible for pain perception,” Dubinskaya said.

Such products are also finding favour with pelvic health physiotherapists such as Katlyn Nasseri at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, US. She said that people experience pelvic pain due to overactive muscles, stress, anxiety, conditions such as endometriosis and polycystic ovary syndrome, and childbirth injuries.

Trauma or inflammation can cause the pelvic floor muscles to become overly toned, resulting in pain. Nasseri likens using a vibrator to using a massage gun to relieve stiff muscles elsewhere in the body: “Vibration is great for muscles; it helps them to relax really well. The same principle applies to the muscles of the pelvis.”

MysteryVibe’s latest products, scheduled for release later this year, are a vulval vibrator for women experiencing vaginal dryness and/or low libido, and a prostate vibrator designed to be inserted into the anus to relieve pain in men with inflamed prostate glands.

The MysteryVibe lab is the only place conducting vibrator research and development in the UK.

“The three common things that happen to men are that the prostate becomes larger as they become older, or it gets a cancer, and the third is prostatitis – inflammation, pain or infection in the prostate gland. Of these, perhaps the most difficult to treat is prostatitis,” said Prokar Dasgupta, a professor of urology and MysteryVibe’s medical director.

“One of the treatments is regularly massaging the prostate. This allows the congealed secretions inside the prostate that are the cause of the problem to come out. Rather than a urologist doing this manually, it can be done by the patient themselves using this device.”

Men also have pelvic floor muscles and can hold tension in them, just like women, said Rubin: “This can cause symptoms such as urinary frequency or urgency, pain with ejaculation, erectile dysfunction or premature or delayed orgasm.

“In addition, the prostate is very rich with nerves and pleasure spots that can really aid in orgasm and arousal.”

MysteryVibe’s vulval vibrator is designed to sit outside the body, can be moulded to a woman’s physiological dimensions, and can even be worn during intercourse. Whether it actually counters menopause-related dryness or reduced libido is as yet unproven, but menopause expert Dr Shahzadi Harper of The Harper Clinic in London suspects it might.

“We often say use it or lose it, but when you’re feeling tired, when your hormones change, when you’ve got so many other things going on, sex can slip down the sort of priority list. This is a nice gentle way to get confidence back in your body, reignite those nerve endings and boost blood flow to the clitoris and pelvic area, which stimulates the cells that help with lubrication.”

Dr Paula Briggs, chair elect of the British Menopause Society and a consultant in sexual and reproductive health at Liverpool Women’s NHS Foundation Trust, said that a vulval vibrator could stimulate collagen-producing cells in the vaginal wall to become active again, reversing some of the thinning that occurs following menopause. Although regular sex can achieve a similar thing, “the difference with a vibrator is that the woman is in control”.

She now advises patients to experiment with a small, tapered vibrator because penetration can be difficult, and often very painful, for such women. Briggs cautioned that vibrator use alone was unlikely to combat vaginal dryness in women whose arousal issues stem from psychological causes, including physical or emotional trauma or stress.

Kate Walsh, physiotherapy lead at Liverpool Women’s Hospital, agreed. Combined with other techniques such as mindfulness and breathing exercises, a vibrator can help women to “reprogram” the way their bodies process sensation, helping to make sex pleasurable again.

“Women will come in with all sorts of gadgets and gizmos that they’ve spent money on, but if they don’t understand the context of why they’re doing this, it is unlikely to work,” she said.

“I’m not saying that someone who is struggling with pain or arousal needs to jump straight into psychosexual counselling, but they’ve got to understand that what’s feeding it isn’t always just a physical thing – the physical and psychological interact.”

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A Guide to Using Prostate Massagers

By Nina Smith

When it comes to sex toys, most people automatically think about the toys that are used for female pleasure. Men, however, don’t have to be sidelined when it comes to using toys in the bedroom.

Prostate massagers are a largely unexplored part of sexuality for most men, but we believe that the stigma around male sex toys needs to be broken. If you or your partner are looking to experiment with a prostate massager, here is everything you need to know before diving in.

What is a Prostate Massager?

If you weren’t already aware, men can experience orgasm through prostate stimulation. In fact, it is said that a prostate-induced orgasm is the male equivalent of a woman’s orgasm through her G-spot. Some experts even refer to the male prostate as the P-spot.

It is a different kind of orgasm than the one you would experience through stimulation of the penis due to the difference in muscle contractions that occur during the climax. A penile orgasm typically involves four to eight muscles, but a prostate orgasm involves around a dozen muscles. This makes for a far more intense orgasm.

If you are looking to experience this more intense climax, then it’s time to bring in the help of a prostate massager. If you are having sex with someone with female genitalia, or if you are engaging in solo sex, a prostate massager is going to be the best way to experiment with prostate stimulation. Although these orgasms may be more satisfying, they also require more skill to achieve. But with a little bit of time and practice, you are sure to be achieving unbelievable orgasms in no time.

A prostate massager will look similar to a standard dildo. While some dildos are designed to mimic the shape and appearance of a penis, others have a sloped design to hit the female G-spot. Prostate massagers look more similar to the latter. The “come hither” design on G-spot dildos and prostate massagers help the device to hit in just the right spot.

Many of these designs come with a second head or “rabbit” design which allows for the vibration to hit not just the P-spot internally, but also externally. The external head will rest right between your anus and scrotum while the internal one will be inserted. Most devices will come with a variety of vibration settings for you to test out so you can find what works for you.

Where to Get a Prostate Massager

Although we find no shame in walking into a sex shop and asking to purchase a prostate massager, we are also aware that everyone’s comfort level surrounding this topic is different.

If you are looking for a discrete way to acquire a prostate massager, you will be glad to learn that many shops that sell prostate massagers online will ship their products in discreet packaging and some will even disguise the charge on your credit card. This is great for people who live with roommates, family, or anyone else that you want to keep out of your private sexual activities.

How to Use it

So now that you know all about prostate massagers and the orgasms that you can achieve, let’s talk about how to actually use one. If this is your first time inserting anything into your anus, you are going to want to take your time. Try not to force the device in. Instead, wait for your muscles to relax before insertion. And don’t be afraid to use lubrication to help everything go more smoothly.

Once you are able to insert the prostate massager, you are going to want to experiment with what feels good. This typically involves finding the right places to stimulate yourself. Move the device around and experiment with different vibration modes to find what you like, and before you know it you’ll be having orgasms that you never even thought were possible.

Clean Up

This should go without saying, but make sure that you clean your prostate massager after each use. Some devices are designed to be used in the shower or bath so cleanup will be easy if you purchase one of these waterproof designs.

If your design isn’t fully waterproof, make sure you read the instructions before cleaning so you know how to properly wash and care for your toy without damaging the electronic parts.

Start Experimenting!

If you are ready to break the stigma around male sex toys and start having intense and incredible orgasms, it’s time to try out your first prostate massager. Use it on yourself, or have a partner help you out to spice things up in the bedroom. Everyone deserves a little fun every now and then, so what are you waiting for?

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Maintaining Your Sex Life After Prostate Cancer

Sex may be different after prostate cancer treatment, but it can still be enjoyable

If you have prostate cancer and your healthcare provider recommends treatment, you might be wondering how your sex life may or may not be affected. You’re not alone if you have questions about this, as this is a common concern.

“Treating prostate cancer is about treating the whole person,” says urologist Raevti Bole, MD. “We have many effective therapies to help you resume intercourse if that’s your goal. But we want you to feel like you can talk to your provider and partner about your issues or concerns.”

Dr. Bole explains how your sex life may evolve after treatment and answers some commonly asked questions.

Can you have sex after prostate cancer?

Sexual and urinary side effects are common after prostate cancer treatment. “But yes, we can help most people get back to a satisfying sexual experience, though this may look different after treatment,” says Dr. Bole.

There are two gold-standard treatments for prostate cancer:

  • Radical prostatectomy removes your prostate gland and the two small glands at the base of your prostate called seminal vesicles. Pelvic lymph nodes may also be removed as part of this operation.
  • Radiation therapy delivers radiation to your entire prostate to destroy cancer-specific cells, and often the pelvic lymph nodes as well. If you opt for radiation therapy, you may receive androgen deprivation therapy to reduce testosterone in your body. This combined approach provides improved overall treatment.

New treatment options, such as high-intensity focused ultrasound therapy and cryotherapy, are being investigated for the potential to treat focused areas of the prostate gland and potentially lessen sexual side effects. But these treatments are typically only an option for certain types of prostate cancer, and you may eventually need a prostatectomy or radiation therapy down the line. Consultation with a urologist who specializes in prostate cancer is the best way to determine if you’re a candidate for any type of focal therapy.

Sex after prostate biopsy

To confirm a diagnosis of prostate cancer, you need to have a biopsy. During this test, your healthcare provider collects a sample of prostate tissue to look for cancer. They can do this in one of two ways:

  • Transrectal biopsy: This biopsy occurs by inserting an ultrasound probe into your rectum and then using a needle to pass through that probe to get the sample cells from your prostate.
  • Transperineal biopsy: This biopsy is taken by inserting a needle into the skin of your perineum (the area of skin between your genitals and your anus) to remove sample tissue cells from your prostate.

Though you may be sore for a couple of days, there aren’t any restrictions on sexual activity after having a biopsy. It’s common to notice old blood in your ejaculate for up to a month or two. This typically goes away on its own as you heal and isn’t associated with pain. Infection is a risk after a biopsy, though the risk is much lower when it’s taken through your perineum.

“For the vast majority of men undergoing an uncomplicated biopsy (either transrectal or transperineal), long-term sexual function should not be affected,” reassures Dr. Bole.

In most cases, if you’re feeling well, you should be able to ejaculate or have sex again when you feel ready. If you participate in receptive anal sex, you should wait for two weeks or until you’re fully healed, especially if you had a transrectal biopsy. But if you experience any blood, pain or swelling, you should refrain from sexual activity until you meet with your healthcare provider.

Sex after prostatectomy and radiation therapy

Once your provider confirms a diagnosis, they’ll discuss your treatment plan with you. Both prostatectomy and radiation therapy can affect your sexual performance in the following ways:

Anal sex safety

Your anus doesn’t create its own lubricant, so the tissue inside of your anus is delicate and susceptible to tearing. Luckily, that tissue heals relatively quickly. If you have anal sex, it’s important to let your surgeon know before you have your prostate removed. Your surgeon will help you determine when it’s safe to insert anything anally. In most cases, it’s OK to participate in anal sex after six weeks.

“Know your body and take your time,” advises Dr. Bole. “If you’ve waited to heal after prostate removal, but you have anal intercourse and notice pain or blood, talk to your surgeon who may advise you to wait longer.”

In some cases, having your prostate removed may affect your ability to enjoy receptive anal sex.

Erectile dysfunction after prostate cancer treatment

For some people, undergoing prostate cancer treatment can result in some difficulty getting or maintaining an erection. This erectile dysfunction (ED) occurs because the nerve bundles that help control erections sit behind your prostate.

Surgeons make every effort to leave these nerve bundles intact, but the nerves may become damaged. If the tumor has grown into your nerve bundles, your surgeon may remove the nerves entirely.

“Erectile dysfunction is not uncommon after prostate cancer surgery, but the level of effect is variable in the short and long term,” explains Dr. Bole. “Your prognosis depends on your erectile function before treatment, your age and whether your nerves were spared. Erectile function can improve for up to two years after surgery, but it’s possible that it does not return to normal. This is also affected by natural aging and any other health conditions you have.”

Radiation therapy can also affect the nerves around your prostate depending on the type of radiation, your age and health conditions. According to Dr. Bole, in general, five years after radiation therapy, about half of people have some level of erectile dysfunction.

Orgasm after prostate cancer treatment

You can orgasm after prostate cancer treatment, but it usually results in a dry orgasm. With a dry orgasm, no fluid comes out of your urethra when you climax. But you can still feel the pleasurable sensation of climax.

Why do you have a dry orgasm? If you had a prostatectomy, the procedure removes the seminal vesicles (which produce and hold your semen) and cuts the vas deferens, so there isn’t any semen to come out. And radiation therapy causes the tissues in and around your prostate, including your ejaculatory ducts, to become fibrous, or stiff and dense. Although there isn’t a reliable treatment to improve a dry orgasm, it’s a common condition where up to 90% of people who receive radiation therapy can develop dry orgasms over time.

Climacturia after prostatectomy

Climacturia is when you leak any drops of urine during an orgasm. Though this number can vary, on average, climacturia can occur in about 25% of people after prostate removal. Studies have found that of these people, only half of them have enough climacturia to be bothersome.

Lack of interest in sex after prostate cancer treatment

Androgen deprivation therapy often accompanies radiation therapy and reduces testosterone production in your body. When you have low testosterone, you could experience a decrease in your sex drive (libido). “The general stress and anxiety of treatment may also affect your desire to have intercourse,” notes Dr. Bole.

Infertility after prostate cancer treatment

If you’ve had your prostate removed, you can’t get someone pregnant through intercourse. After surgery, you no longer produce semen, which carries sperm when you ejaculate. Radiation therapy also reduces semen production and affects your ability to make sperm.

If you’re considering having children, talk to your healthcare provider before prostate cancer treatment. There are several options for preserving fertility before cancer treatment or retrieving sperm (if you have them) after treatment.

Treatment options for ED after prostate cancer treatment

Sex is often different after prostate cancer treatment, but it can still be enjoyable. “Treatments for ED are often focused on penetrative intercourse,” says Dr. Bole. “But the sexual experience is often not just about penetration. We work with you to discuss your goals for sexual health or intimacy with a partner.”

Treatments for ED include:

Erectile dysfunction medications

There are many medications to treat ED, including Viagra® and Cialis®. “These medications are often the first treatment we recommend,” says Dr. Bole. “They are inexpensive, and if you don’t like them, or they don’t work well for you, you can stop taking them at any point.”

Penile rehabilitation

The goal of penile rehabilitation is to reduce the risk of permanent ED before you have treatment. It focuses on increasing oxygenation and preserving the structures of the erectile tissues to prevent long-term damage. The theory is that helping people regain erections earlier than later after treatment could prevent long-term damage. Think of it as a “use it or lose it” approach.

This is an active area of research and there’s no standard protocol that’s been proven best for every person, says Dr. Bole. Your oncology team may recommend their preferred protocol, such as oral medication, to promote the early return of erectile function and, hopefully, longer-term recovery.

Penile injections

Medication you inject into the base of your penis, called intracavernous injections, can improve your ability to stay erect. Your healthcare provider can teach you how to inject the medication for times when you want an erection.

“The medication takes about 10 or 15 minutes to take effect and may not be the best option if you have a fear of needles,” notes Dr. Bole. “But if you’re looking for a better erection after prostate treatment, and the oral medications are not working, injections can be very effective.”  

Vacuum constriction device

A vacuum erectile device (also known as a penis pump) draws blood into your penis to help you get an erection. Usually, it comes with a rubber ring you slip down over the base of your penis to hold the blood in. It can be a good option if medications aren’t working well or you don’t want surgery.

Surgery

There are several types of penile implants to improve erections, including:

  • Malleable prosthesis, a noninflatable implant that’s always semirigid and you bend it up or down.
  • Inflatable implant, a device placed in your penis that inflates using a pump in your scrotum.

Climacturia treatment

If you have climacturia, pelvic floor muscle therapy can help you improve urinary control. This noninvasive treatment involves simple exercises to strengthen the muscles that help regulate urination.

Surgery is another option. Your healthcare provider can insert a sling made from synthetic mesh-like surgical tape around the area of your urethra to reposition it. The pressure caused by the sling often helps prevent leakage.

People with climacturia may also experience erectile dysfunction. “In the instance you experience both, we can do a combined surgery to put in a penile prosthesis and a sling to address both problems,” says Dr. Bole.

Therapy for you and your partner

Sex therapy, couples therapy and support groups are important resources for people who’ve undergone prostate cancer treatment and their partners. Sex can often be an uncomfortable topic, especially if you or your partner are experiencing changes in sexual behavior and are unsure of how to communicate your feelings. If you’re experiencing shame or embarrassment, or feel like you’re inadequate, please know that these side effects of prostate cancer treatment are common and (in most cases) treatable with the right tools and therapies.

Some therapeutic options that can be beneficial after your treatment include:

  • Couples therapy centers around your relationship with your partner. It can help resolve conflicts and find ways to communicate better about things that are upsetting to you and your partner. A couples therapist can help you discuss these issues, so they don’t interfere with your relationship.
  • Sex therapy focuses on sexual intimacy and helping couples show affection with and without penetration. That may include the use of sex toys or other activities you may not have considered before. Some sex therapists even specialize in working with people who have or who’ve had cancer.
  • Support groups connect you with others going through the same experience as you. They can help you understand what to expect and how others have handled specific challenges. Many people find support groups as a source of hope and comfort, and your healthcare provider can help connect you to these resources should you need them.

“Our goal is to make sure you live the longest, healthiest and most fulfilling life possible,” says Dr. Bole. “We treat cancer to protect your life, then we help get back your quality of life. If intimacy and intercourse are important to you, we can help you get back to experiencing those again safely.”

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How Do I Bottom?

Bottoming 101 for queer men, we explain the practicalities of preparing for anal sex, and answer the oft-asked question: Does it hurt?

By Alexander Cheves

Before I discovered porn, I thought bottoming was impossible — a myth that guys on my Varsity football team used to tease each other about, but one I didn’t actually believe. A penis can’t really go in a butt, right? Then I found a video. I watched it slide in, move in and out — fucking — and saw that full, terrifyingly painful stroke, tip to balls, in a man’s ass for the first time. That moment sealed the truth: Bottoming was real, and I had no clue how to do it.

That brings me to my my first piece of advice for anyone looking to bottom: Do not compare your experience to porn. When my first sex attempts didn’t happen like porn, I assumed I was doing something wrong. Your first experience won’t be like porn. Your second experience won’t be, either. In fact, most of your sex life won’t resemble porn — because porn isn’t reality. Porn creates an impossible fantasy, one that porn stars themselves can’t do in real life. I’ve worked on professional porn sets and can assure you: All the messes, failures, half-starts, and struggles happen in porn, too. They just get edited out.

In part one of this guide to bottoming, I explored fundamental questions surrounding the act — “Am I a bottom?” — along with how to mentally and emotionally prepare for receptive anal sex. Now I’ll talk about what you need to do to prepare physically — the mechanics, safety tips, and ass care information you need to know.

How do I prepare to bottom?

Many people douche before bottoming, meaning they use water to clean the lower part of their rectum — the space in your butt just inside your hole — to flush out any poop before sex. An easy way to do this is to buy an enema. A disposable one purchased at a drugstore or pharmacy will do the trick (don’t forget that many are filled with laxatives, which you must empty and replace with water before using), or a larger squeeze bulb with a plastic or silicone nozzle, purchased from a sex novelty shop or online.

As your skill develops, your douching regimen will probably change. You’ll discover what kind of douche you want to use, learn different cleaning methods, or find that you don’t really need (or want) to douche at all. Many people don’t, and you don’t always need to douche to have an enjoyable experience bottoming.

What you eat plays a major role in how “clean” your butt can be. If you eat a high-fiber, veggie-heavy diet and avoid excessive red meat, your poop will be less messy and more “together,” meaning the douching process will be minimal — which is what you want. Some people with careful diets skip the douching process altogether and are naturally “ready to go” (vegetarians and vegans especially). Incorporating a fiber supplement like Metamucil into your diet can help. Most people do not consume enough fiber, which is vital to your overall gastrointestinal health (and makes anal sex easier and less messy — double win!).

When you’re new to douching, go slow. Lube up the tip of your enema with a body-safe lubricant (I recommend silicone-based lube), and slowly insert the nozzle into your hole. Gently squeeze the bulb and slowly fill your butt with water. Note: You don’t need to squirt a huge amount of water up there, at least not when you’re a beginner. More advanced forms of sex require more extensive cleaning regimens, which do require more water, but that’s not for beginners. When you’re starting off, there’s no need to empty the bulb. You don’t need much.

After you do this, your butt might feel strange and “full.” To avoid discomfort, make sure the water is warm — not hot — before you start. Hold it in for a few seconds, then gently release the water into a toilet. Repeat this until the water runs clear.

Some safety tips: Go slow! Also, don’t stick the nozzle all the way in — there’s no need to, and you can hurt yourself if you’re not gentle enough. And make sure you try to release all the water into the toilet when you’re done — water left in your butt can cause discomfort later on.

Don’t freak out if you can’t get totally clean. Anal sex always involves some likelihood that you’ll encounter poop. Yes, you can get pretty clean, but cleaning out is not a requirement for bottoming. Many people, including some medical professionals, recommend skipping douching in the first place, washing your butt with soap and water, putting a towel down, and simply cleaning up any mess after. No matter what you choose to do, you cannot completely control your body. Just enjoy it.

What happens if I’m not clean?

Then you’re not clean. Don’t panic. Don’t call yourself — or your sex — a “failure.” You will have many sexual experiences in your life where you’ll think you’re clean until your body has other plans. It’s not a failure. Your body is simply doing what it does.

You can clean and clean for hours and still not be totally “clean.” But you shouldn’t clean for hours and hours in the first place. Flushing your butt can disrupt and dry out the good bacteria in your colon that you need to process waste, so cleaning for too long isn’t healthy. You also shouldn’t douche every day for this reason. Remember: You can’t control your body.

The only thing you can control is what you eat, and eating a healthy diet that’s high in fiber and low in red meat will make your cleaning process much easier.

Does bottoming hurt?

It might on your first attempt. Bottoming is rarely a delightful experience in the beginning, because you don’t know what you’re doing. Why does it hurt? Because the anal walls have to expand to accommodate a penis, dildo, or other object, and that can be painful — especially when you’re new to the sensation. But don’t worry; once you get better at it, it feels great.

No sex is perfect when you’re a beginner. That’s why you need practice. Also, there are ways you can train your butt muscles to relax, stretch, and make the experience easier (see the last question of this guide).

Some people recommend taking a deep breath when your sexual partner first enters you. Others recommend “pushing out” while someone is fucking you. While these classic first-timer techniques to minimize pain have certainly helped many folks relax, they’re not the first ones I recommend.

I’ve trained several first-timers for bottoming (as well as for more extreme forms of anal sex play), and here’s my best suggestion: While your sexual partner gently slides a finger in, take ten deep breaths, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth. “Squeeze” their finger with your butt, hold the squeeze for a few seconds, and then relax. Repeat this a few times while you mentally “check in” with the body. In your mind, start with the top of your head and slowly relax your muscles, “scanning” down your spine, down your legs, and ending at your hole. Close your eyes and picture your butt, and picture it opening, expanding like a circle. Keep “gripping” and releasing their finger until you’re ready for them to add another finger. Work up to two fingers, then three, until you feel comfortable gripping them — in control, powerful, flexing your butt muscle.

Tell them when you’re ready to try their dick, dildo, or any other sex toy in your arsenal. Breathe slowly and lead. You’re in control. You tell your partner when to move, when to go forward, when to stop, when to move again. Just as you did with their fingers: Grip, release. Grip, release. Breathe deeply and slowly, and guide them into you.

How do I protect myself from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections?

Micro-tears in the anus happen pretty easily when you have anal sex. The walls of the rectum (the inside of your butt) are delicate. If you’re new to bottoming and haven’t trained your butt to relax, your risk of tearing and pain is higher.

Some tears are worse than others. Most are pretty painless and heal up quickly on their own. More severe ones are called “fissures,” and these you will probably feel. They may itch, sting, or burn when you try to have sex or use the bathroom. Fissures usually heal on their own, too, but it’s still a good idea to see a doctor you trust, who knows what kind of sex you’re having.

While micro-tears or fissures are rarely very painful, they become open gateways for infection. Unprotected bottoming is a high-risk activity for sexually transmitted infections like HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and more. This is why it’s important to protect yourself.

PrEP is a once-a-day pill you can take to prevent HIV infection. So far, the only drug approved for PrEP is Truvada, but more drugs are on the way. Condoms are also incredibly effective at preventing STIs like chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea, and the combination of condoms and PrEP greatly reduce your risk of contracting all of these.

Other STIs, like oral and genital herpes and HPV, are so common that if you’ve had any amount of sex, you may have already been exposed to them. Most sexually active adults have some strain of HPV. That said, you should talk to your doctor about getting the three-part Gardasil vaccine for HPV, even if you’ve already been sexually active. For people who haven’t had sex yet, Gardasil vaccinates them against strains of HPV most commonly associated with certain types of cancer. Even if you’ve already been very sexually active, Gardasil is still recommended to fight future strains of cancer-associated HPV.

Get your body and your butt regularly inspected by a doctor for warts and other signs that you might have an infection. If you’re having sex, you should get a full-range STI test every three months, minimum. Many STIs are asymptomatic, meaning you won’t know you have them, so it’s important that you get tested often, especially if you’re HIV-negative.

How do I get better at bottoming?

Improving your sex skills takes time, practice, and — in my opinion — some butt training. Not every bottom trains their butt to prepare for the experience, but I did. After I learned to enjoy the sensation of my ass opening and stretching, my skills drastically improved, and sex finally became really fun.

Buy a small butt plug (no larger than an inch in diameter), preferably one made of smooth, soft silicone. Lube it up generously (with silicone toys, use water-based lube), and slowly slide it in. Concentrate on the feeling of the stretch and slowly — slowly! — get comfortable with it. If you feel pain, stop, breathe, relax, and continue when you’re ready.

Once the plug is all the way in, take a deep breath, adjust to the feeling of it being inside you, and slowly — slowly! — pull it back out. Breathe, relax, and repeat. (Pro tip: This is way more fun with a playmate you trust, who is patient and will listen to your needs.)

You will probably find — as I did — that after you stop clenching and finally relax your butt, the feeling of your hole opening feels really good. And then it feels great. After working with the same small plug for a few weeks (or as long as it takes to feel enjoyable), try a slightly bigger butt plug. If it’s too much, stick with the smaller one until you’re ready. Gradually build size and speed, and above all else, focus on enjoying the feeling. If it’s not enjoyable at any point, stop.

Here’s what you’re doing: You’re training your hole to open, and you’re training your mind to relax and enjoy it. Your body has an impulsive reaction of tightening your muscles and clenching when something feels uncomfortable. Training your mind and body to not clench — to relax, to trust the person you’re playing with, and to feel pleasure — is the most awesome part of the journey.

Complete Article ↪HERE↩!

Look for Dr Dick’s take on this timely topic ↪HERE↩!