As a man who likes men, I can confidently say butt play isn’t easy. Bottoming can be back-breaking work, and topping is hard AF. But, besides that, it’s also unpredictable. You never know what’s going to happen. Is it going to hurt? What if he poohs on my peen, or worse, what if I pooh on his peen? Are farts a turn-off?
If you’re on your first anal adventure, you probably have tons of questions about the ins and outs of bum fun. Don’t worry. It’s normal. No one’s born an expert in anal and everyone starts out as a butt play beginner. So, if you’re new to fifth base and ready to explore the magical world of buttholes, this one’s for you.
Before we get started, let’s start by stating the obvious: The first time you have a dick up your ass, it feels like you have a dick up your ass. But, with proper preparation, you can enjoy every satisfying second from the moment of penetration to the flash of a climactic finish. Here are seven tips for butt-play beginners.
1. Tidy up
Ok, everyone has an opinion about cleaning out. Some guys are all for it while others believe the process is bad for your bowels. We’re not saying you need to hook up to a garden hose every time you take it, but a wet wipe never hurt anyone. Whether you plan to top or bottom, it’s nice to have a clean workspace. What if your man wants to finger your ass while you pound his purple starfish? It could happen, and you’ll want to be fresh(ish).
2. Start small
Start with something smaller than a cock, like the tip of your index finger or pocket bullet. By massaging the anus, you can loosen up the sphincter muscle and introduce the notion of penetration.
3. Go slow
Whether you’re inserting a pinky finger or a penis, go slow and find your groove. If you’re topping, going slow allows your man’s body to acclimate to the sensation of being penetrated. And, if you’re bottoming, you’ll appreciate the extra time to adjust to his length and girth.
Yes, when porn stars shove it in and go straight to pound town, it’s hot AF. but, in reality, it can be uncomfortable and ruin the whole experience. So, or the sake of the hole, slow your roll.
4. Reach around
If you’re the one playing the hole, distract your man with a reach around. This technique works particularly well if he’s on his hands and knees (aka in table position). Here’s what you should do: As you work his hole with your fingers, reach around and tease his shaft, balls and taint with your other hand.
It will drive him wild and take his mind off your fingers that secretly slipped inside.
5. Rim don’t ram
This one is self-explanatory. For tops and bottoms alike, it’s strangely tempting to ram it (your penis, a finger, etc.) in and get right to the rough stuff. Unless you’re into receiving or inflicting pain, don’t do it. Even if the bottom is ready to be penetrated, a forceful entry can make taking it too painful. So, regardless of your weapon of choice, rim the edge and carefully insert whatever your welding into the hole. Also, before you start poking around back there, lube up. Lube is your best friend
Communication is key to just about everything. When it comes to sex, it’s vital. Whether you’re catching or pitching, ask your partner what feels good and before you perform any crazy maneuvers, talk to your man. Butt play is a lot more fun if you’re communicative.
7. Take fiber
If you’re not into douching but want to be somewhat clean, add extra fiber to your diet. The easiest way to increase your fiber intake is to add a supplement like Pure for Men to your regime. The ingredients in Pure for Men act like a broom and sweep out your insides. A clean butt breeds confidence, which makes it a lot easier to let someone put their finger up your ass.
The most important thing to know about butt play is that relaxing is fundamental. You have to relax. If you’re tense or uncomfortable about ass play, you or your partner could get hurt. So, unwind, grab some lube and explore your backdoor.
Penises can be problematic. They are powerful, untameable beasts, capable of wielding immense pleasure but also able to cause devastating emotional wounds. And that’s just anal sex
by Liam Murphy
As well as the obvious physical harm that can be inflicted – skinny jeans have cursed a generation to suffer cock-caught-in-fly related trauma – the magnificent meat mallet can also bring mental torment when, like an untrained puppy, it just won’t do as it’s told.
THE HARDER THE BETTER?
Some of the best things are hard: hard-boiled eggs, biscuits, those rhubarb and custard sweets, Tom Hardy and, of course, the penis. However, sometimes they can spring up at the most unexpected and inopportune times, and just won’t go away.
“I call my hard-on issue uncontrollable as such,” says 21-year-old Ian, “let’s say ‘eager’ or ‘keen’. It doesn’t take much and it’s ‘up periscope’ time. I’ve been this way as long as I’ve appreciated the male form. I went through a phase of wearing an over the shoulder bag in my late teens so I could cover the odd bus boner (the vibrations cause a right disturbance). Rather that than poke someone in the eye on the way past, I guess!”
However, impromptu erections can also lead to embarrassing retail situations, as Ian explains. “Recent men’s fashion means that I’ve become accustomed to skinny fit jeans, and for whatever reason, I went commando that day – I’m sure you know where I’m going with this – and I guess it must have been particularly sensitive or whatever. Anyway, I ended up with a lob-on in Tesco. My skinny jeans/tight t-shirt combo meant there was no hiding, so I did what any self-respecting bloke would do. I awkwardly leant over the shopping trolley for the next ten minutes. On the upside, I can also get hard on demand! It’s just a combination of a high sex drive and an involuntary physical reaction, I think.”
For Kieran, 25, his perilously perky penis is just part of his day. “I wouldn’t say it’s an issue – more just a fact of life. Some people sweat a lot, some people yawn a lot… I get boners a lot. Not getting them would be an issue, but getting too many, yeah that’s a ‘problem’ I’m OK with – at least I know it’s all working well. It does pop up at any time. When I was due to be giving a talk, someone gave me a wink and boom… up popped my friend downstairs to take his moment centre stage. I stood behind the lectern desperately thinking of Margaret Thatcher and trying to kill it so I could step out and begin my talk properly. The worst though, is when someone you don’t fancy or don’t want to have sex with tries it on and it just feels like he’s betraying you.”
And how does one manage the curse (or blessing, depending on your perspective) of a perpetual hard-on? “Like everyone else I learned the ‘tuck it behind your belt’ trick, or to hide it behind my belt. Granted, occasionally there have been times when I’ve had to miss my tube stop and stay sitting down while I waited for one to subside.”
Will, 38, didn’t notice the problem cropping up until he was in a relationship. “I was never aware of it until I met my boyfriend and it became apparent early on that I would get erect whenever I was around him. It has settled down a bit now but whenever we kissed in public I would get a twinge. And in bed it still sometimes feels like I have an erection all night. I would generally be embarrassed that I was getting these erections. I felt immature. This is what happens to a teenager, not an adult. I was going through a difficult break-up once – lots of tears – we were cuddling and I was hard. I realised then that my hard-ons were not always about sex – to me they were about love too.”
Erectile dysfunction can happen to a lot of people, in varying degrees and for many reasons, medical or otherwise.
“It happens to me every time I put on a condom,” admits Steven, 34. “I have no problem keeping it up before fucking – wanking and getting sucked off have never been a problem – but when I go to fuck someone and I slide the condom on, I lose the hardness. Not totally, but enough that I can’t properly put it in someone’s arse and enough that the sensation goes for me.”
Steven tried mixing up condom brands. “I’ve used thin, ultra-thin, ribbed, tingle… every version of a condom you could imagine and I still get the same flaccid result. I think it must be a psychological thing, because it’s not like I can’t get hard at all. It’s fine when I bareback with long term boyfriends, but with one nighters I tend to have to bottom now.”
Anxiety can often be a cause of not being able to maintain an erection, as 27-year-old James confirms: “Sex in general makes me anxious. I hate getting naked and I get so nervous when it comes to getting down to it in bed. I was dating a guy I really liked, so much that when he touched me I would physically shake, but when it came to sex I just couldn’t get hard. He thought I didn’t like him! And now I dread having sex. I love the dating side of it but I always know that heading to the bedroom is going to be inevitable.”
What can cause you to have trouble getting or staying hard?
Stress and anxiety.
Smoking, recreational drugs and alcohol.
Some prescribed drugs – like Prozac and Seroxat.
Diabetes, high cholesterol and highblood pressure.
Psychological reasons – the more you worry about your erection, the less likely you are to be able to get one.
What can I do to make myself hard?
If you think the reason is psychological – a distraction helps, so encourage your partner to focus on something other than your cock for a while – kissing or nipple play might help to get you back in action.
Cockrings can also be used to help maintain a hard-on – leather or rubber straps are safer to use.
Drugs like Viagra or Cialis – consult your doctor for these.
Matthew Hodson, CEO of GMFA told us: “Rolling a condom onto a rock-hard penis isn’t a problem but if it’s a bit soft and you start to get anxious then it’s easy to spiral with anxiety to the point where a condom is really tricky to use. The more you’re concerned that you won’t be hard enough to use a condom, the more likely it is to happen. If it’s just an occasional problem it’s probably best not to make a big thing of it and just do something else that turns you on while you wait for it to get hard again. If it’s becoming more of a problem, you might want to experiment with cock-rings or talk with your GP about it – there’s no need to be embarrassed, you won’t be the first person who will have approached them with the same problem. Most erection problems can be addressed so there’s no reason why a temporarily soft dick should be a long-term barrier to you enjoying sex safely.”
Everyone should be able to enjoy a penis (which is my campaign slogan if I ever run for Prime Minister), especially their own. Whether it’s too hard or too soft, it doesn’t mean you and your cock have to suffer alone. Confide in your partner/lover/friend/doctor and discuss what you can do to get you and your lifelong pleasure companion talking again.
Step 1: When your cock is hard, take the condom out of the wrapper carefully using your fingers. Using your teeth to tear the packet could damage the condom. Squeeze the air out of the teat on the tip of the condom (if there is one) and put it over the end of your cock. Don’t stretch it and then pull it over your cock as this will make it more likely to break.
Step 2: Roll it down the length of your cock – the further down it goes the less likely it is to slip off. Put some water-based or silicone-based lubricant over your condom-covered cock. Put plenty of lube around his arse too. Don’t put any lube on your cock before you put the condom on, as this can make it slip off.
Step 3: Check the condom occasionally while fucking to ensure it hasn’t come off or split. If you fuck for a long time you will need to keep adding more lube. When you pull out, hold on to the condom and your cock at the base, so that you don’t leave it behind. Pull out before your cock goes soft.
What lube should I use?
When you don’t use enough lube, or use the wrong kind, the likelihood of condom failure is increased, making transmission of HIV and other STIs possible. Water-based lubes (e.g. K-Y, Wet Stuff and ID Glide) and silicone-based lubes (Eros Bodyglide and Liquid Silk) work well with condoms. Oil-based lubricants like cooking oil, moisturisers, sun lotions, baby oil, butter, Crisco, Elbow Grease, etc. can also cause latex condoms to break.
They can however be used with non-latex condoms, like Durex Avanti, Mates Skyn or Pasante Unique. Don’t use spit as it dries up quickly and increases the chance of your condom tearing.
When Risper met Tom, she was convinced that he was the Mr Right she had been waiting for. She was thirty-two years old and like any single woman of that age, there was enough pressure from her mum and aunties to get married as quickly as possible.
You see, there is this belief that if you do not marry by a certain age you will remain single forever and may not bear children, so the people who need to be named, those whose names your children should inherit will suffer extinction.
We believe that we live forever by giving our names to newborns from our children. Anyway, that is a story for another day.
And so it was that six months into the relationship Risper and Tom were already having sex. Plans were underway for a wedding.
Tom had already visited Risper’s parents and they were all too thankful to God for favouring their daughter with such a handsome and responsible man – Tom was a doctor, a cardiothoracic surgeon, who had delayed marriage to pursue his specialised medical qualification.
A month before the wedding Risper was seated in front of me at the sexology clinic, weeping. She was weeping because in discovering each other sexually, Tom had ventured into anal sex.
Risper was not psychologically prepared for it. All she could remember was that she heard Tom requesting in the heat of the moment to be allowed to try something new and adventurous. She said okay only to be caught unawares when he penetrated her anus!
“God forgive me, but I have to call off the wedding. I cannot marry Tom! I will not entertain homosexuality; it is evil, it is unacceptable, it is wrong!” Risper said, her eyes red and wet with tears.
But anal sex is not synonymous with homosexuality. Homosexuality is sexual attraction to a person of the same sex. For women, it is called lesbianism (where a woman is attracted sexually to another woman.) Men who are attracted sexually to other men are gay. When a man is sexually attracted to a woman, like in Tom’s case, then he cannot be labeled homosexual.
“But tell me doctor, how do gay men have sex, is it not anal sex?” Risper asked not believing me.
Well, anal sex between men is gay sex but between a man and a woman it is heterosexual anal sex and it does happen. There are heterosexual couples who find it pleasurable and if they mutually enjoy it, they should be allowed to do it.
The scenario is different if one partner is uncomfortable with any type of sexual adventure in a relationship. There should be mutual discussion about it and if one party finds it unacceptable, just keep off.
“My anus hurts! I do not understand why he had to do this to me!” Risper said writhing in pain and ignoring my advice.
Of course if one chooses to have anal sex it must be understood that the anus does not lubricate (a vagina does). Applying a lubricant before penetration is important. Further, one has to be gentle and considerate of the partner’s feelings. It is insensitve to cause pain and injury to one’s partner during sex in the name of adventure.
“In fact, it is unchristian to do what Tom did to me! If I reported him to our pastor, the church would call for prayer and fasting for God to deliver us,” Risper interjected.
And yes, one’s values do matter as far as sexual adventures are concerned. If it is against your values it is better to keep off. There are people who cannot entertain anal sex, oral sex or other forms of sex other than the traditional intercourse where the penis goes into the vagina. This should be respected.
The next day I had a sit-down with both Risper and Tom and reiterated the etiquette of introducing new sexual moves to each other. Tom was saddened to hear that Risper had considered calling off the wedding.
“You know what, doctor? I did what I did to please Risper. I read somewhere that women enjoy it. In fact I forced myself into it and did not enjoy it at all,” Tom explained, gloom painted on his face.
“Well, you have learnt your lesson, in sex sometimes words speak louder than actions and you have to learn to use words more than your actions especially when introducing something new,” I explained, to which Tom nodded vigorously.
So the wedding plans continued and the couple is now married and living happily together. Two years into the marriage, Tom called and informed me that Risper had delivered a bouncing baby girl at dawn. The baby was named after Tom’s mother.
“Thank you for setting us straight on that fateful day, I cannot forget your intervention; it saved my marriage!” Tom said bursting into a loud staccato laughter.
There are various myths around the concept of prostate massage.
Interestingly, as more men and women become aware of the benefits of massaging the prostate area, the taboos surrounding this highly sensual experience are breaking down.
Despite what you may have heard, prostate massage is an extremely healthy activity that two people can enjoy in order to improve their intimacy and physical relationship.
If you like the idea of engaging in this pleasurable treatment, here is why your man may want a prostate massage, and how you can give him a mind blowing orgasm from it.
But first, you might want to know a little more about the prostate.
The prostate is a reproductive gland that’s located directly under the bladder, around 2 to 3 inches inside the anal passage. You may have also heard the prostate referred to as the male G-spot. There’s a very good reason for this. The prostate is part of the male orgasm cycle and stimulation of this area promotes erection and sensations of heightened pleasure.
Why should I give my partner a prostate massage?
Many men enjoy direct stimulation of the prostate due to the blissful sensations it brings. Furthermore, a prostate massage promotes an enjoyable sex life and increased sexual confidence. In a survey by a British tantric massage agency, around 33 percent of men experienced orgasms more intense than their usual ones, as well as benefiting from thicker, firmer erections.
Erectile problems are diminished with regular prostate massage as stimulation of this region increases blood flow to the area, encouraging an erection to occur. This improves your sexual energy and reduces any stress or frustration you may have been having about sexual activity.
By engaging in regular prostate massage, you’ll be relishing the thought of trying new experiences, feeling healthier and happier about the connection you have with a partner. You and your partner will feel completely relaxed during this erotic, sensual activity, increasing the sexual confidence of both of you.
Is prostate massage for everyone?
While many assume that prostate massage is an experience that only gay men participate in, it’s actually an activity that men of any sexuality enjoy. In the same survey by the massage agency, 80 percent of women said they would be happy to give their partner a prostate massage, demonstrating that this is an experience that can be shared by both sexes. It’s a very healthy activity for men and women to engage in, as well as being completely safe.
Using a prostate massager is an easy method of giving your partner a prostate massage and as stats show an increase in the sales of prostate massagers, you can be assured that it’s something that many couples are experimenting in, in order to boost their relationship and the intimate connection between them. A massage is a very erotic activity for a man and sharing this with a loved one can boost your relationship in both physical and spiritual form.
Prostate massage also has a vast number of health benefits, such as reducing the risk of contracting prostate cancer, eliminating infections and inflammation, minimizing painful ejaculation, lowering the risk of bladder infections and, of course, promoting a healthy sex life. As these benefits demonstrate, by massaging the prostate area, you’re encouraging good health and vitality.
How can I give my partner an incredible prostate massage?
If you’re new to this activity, using a prostate massager is a straightforward method of ensuring your partner experiences the sensational effects of a massage. Many people assume that massaging the prostate is a messy experience, but the anal area is normally clean. However, its best if you ensure that the bowels have been recently cleared before participating in a massage.
During preparation of a prostate massage, ensure that your partner and any massagers are clean, and that you have lube at the ready. You may prefer to take a shower together before the massage to increase the intimacy between you.
During the massage, get your partner to sit up with his legs wide, or lie on his back with a pillow below his hips. Apply lots of lube and start to work inwards, slowly and gently.
Rock the massager back and forth in a nice rhythm and allow your partner to relax and relish in the mind blowing climactic sensations.
The prostate is a gland that is a part of the male reproductive system, and it wraps around the male urethra near the bladder.
As men get older, they start experiencing prostate problems. In fact, these health issues are quite common in men older than 50. Unlike women who are more open to conversations about their health, men aren’t eager to talk about this subject, particularly when it comes to prostate and other similar problems.
That’s why staying up to date with recent health news, reading professional articles and consulting your doctor is the best way to improve not only your prostate health but the overall quality of life. When we’re talking about articles and health news, the World Wide Web is flooded with them, but not all of them are worthy of your time.
Consumer Health Digest poses as your go-to website that helps you fight with prostate diseases. Let’s find out how!
Common prostate problems
Before you see different ways Consumer Health Digest helps you fight prostate diseases, let’s talk about the most common problems that men usually face. They are listed below.
Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH)
BPH is, in fact, an enlarged prostate gland. As your prostate gets bigger, it may partly block or squeeze the urethra thus causing problems with urinating. This is one of the most common prostate problems and affects almost all men as their age. It’s not entirely clear what causes prostate enlargement, but experts assume it comes down to changes in hormone balance as men are getting older. Symptoms associated with BPH include:
Frequent or urgent need to urinate
Inability to empty the bladder
Frequently urinating during the night
Straining while urinating
Difficulty starting urination
Dribbling at the end of urination
Weak urine stream
Some of the less common signs and symptoms of this disease include blood in urine, urinary tract infections, and inability to urinate. Luckily, there are numerous treatments available for BPH including medications, surgery, etc.
Acute and chronic bacterial prostatitis
This problem refers to swelling and inflammation of the prostate. Acute bacterial prostatitis affects men of all ages, but men older than 50 are more prone to it. Common strains of bacteria primarily cause this prostate problem and the most frequent symptoms are the following:
Pain or burning sensation while urinating
Pain or discomfort in penis or testicles
Urgent need to urinate
Pain in the abdomen, groin, or lower back
Pain in perineum (area between scrotum and rectum)
This prostate problem is successfully treated with the help of medications.
Chronic bacterial prostatitis is a very rare condition that causes recurring infections in the prostate. The symptoms are very similar to those of acute bacterial prostatitis.
Chronic (nonbacterial) prostatitis
Chronic nonbacterial prostatitis is the most common type of prostatitis accounting for 90% of all cases. The condition is indicated by genital and urinary pain and discomfort for at least three of past six months. Although patients don’t have bacteria in their urine, they have other markings of inflammation.
Prostate cancer is the most common type of cancer in men. According to the American Cancer Society, this prostate problem can be treated successfully. In fact, about 2 million men in the United States are proud prostate cancer survivors! Just like other prostate problems, this one also affects men older than 50 in most cases. Furthermore, African-American men have a higher risk of developing this cancer.
How Consumer Health Digest helps?
At this point, you’re probably wondering how Consumer Health Digest can help you fight common prostate problems. Here are some, of many reasons.
Consumer Health Digest successfully keeps up with the latest news and trends in medicine, health, science, and wellness, thus providing you a constant flow of articles related to prostate problems. This way you are more educated about issues you’re dealing with and can find new ways to improve your prostate health.
All articles on our website, including prostate health news, are reliable and accurate. That’s because they are evidence-based. Our articles are written by health-care professionals; which is why they are trustworthy. Our experts make sure that every person who visits our website can find out everything related to their health problem and be sure the text they’re reading is 100% accurate. Unlike many other sites, we do not publish misleading or click-bait types of articles just to increase traffic. To us, quality of information is essential.
Prostate supplements are widely popular nowadays, and there are hundreds of them on the market. Consumer Health Digest reviewed all those supplements for you and published useful articles that aim to help you choose the best one for you. The only way to get an effective supplement is to know how to buy it. We have the most extensive database of supplement reviews, and the most important thing is that all reviews are done in an unbiased manner with a desire to inform you about the efficacy of the product only.
A healthy lifestyle is the key towards successful management of prostate problems. To help you fight your prostate problems, our website features useful content that will help you have a healthier lifestyle. For example, you can find out what foods to eat for a healthy prostate, what exercises to do, etc. The best thing is that all tips included into our articles are easy to implement.
Consumer Health Digest poses as the ideal place for all men who want to improve prostate health or fight the certain problem. The reasons are numerous including accuracy of information, latest prostate health news, useful tips and tricks, and thorough analysis of supplements. We aim to help you improve your overall quality of life one article at a time.