Category Archives: Sex And Aging

SEX WISDOM with ToyWithMe Sandy – Podcast #206 – 05/19/10

Hey sex fans,

I have an exceptionally interesting guest to introduce to you today. She joins us as part of the SEX WISDOM podcast series, don’t cha know. This is the series where we chat with researchers, educators, clinicians, pundits and philosophers who are making news and reshaping how we look at our sexual selves.

I have the pleasure of introducing you to one such pundit, the founder of the wildly popular sex blog, ToyWithMe. She prefers to go by the name Sandy, so we’ll just humor her on that, ok? And let’s just say that she’s the madam of the wacky ToyWithMe cathouse. As you may recall, we’ve already met one of that site’s famous inmates — Becky Sherrick Harks of Mommy Wants Vodka fame in Podcasts #186 & #188.

Sandy and I have a wide-ranging and freewheeling chat about a bunch of timely sexual topics. And like her site, she keeps the conversation funny as well as informative.

Sandy and I discuss:

  • Handling the writing talent and the twitter account.
  • “I have a vagina and I’m not afraid to use it” and “Nothing Risqué, Nothing Gained”.
  • Early onset of menopause and the changes it brought to her life.
  • The ToyWithMe audience.
  • Her writers and their fans.
  • Being overwhelmed by the change of life.
  • A good sex life enhances self-esteem.
  • The effort involved in rebuilding her libido.
  • Talking to a partner about menopause.
  • Andropause.

Sandy invites you to join in the fun at her website HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll fine me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to remind you to check out another great website in the Dr Dick family of sites. It’s my new PRODUCT REVIEW site — drdicksextoyreviews.com

That’s right, sex fans, now it’s so easy to see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products. I review of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, herbal products, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the drdicksextoyreviews.com. You’ll be so glad you did.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Adult Sex Toys .com.

SEX TOYS

Pjur Plus

Hey sex fans!

We have a whole bunch of new Pjur products to introduce you to, so many new ones, in fact, that it will take us two weeks.

Everyone who reads our reviews regularly will already know we’re in the tank for Pjur.  Just take a look at some of our previous reviews HERE and HERE!

Or just use the site’s search function, to your right.  Type in Pjur; and presto!

For those of you who are new to Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews, here’s the lowdown on Pjur (pronounced “pure”).  It’s a German company that has been serving the US market since 1995.   We think they are, hands down, the world’s best personal lubricants, sexual enhancers, and hygiene aids.  To make sure you’re getting the real deal, look for the yellow dot on the package.

We have four products to tell you about today.  But since they fall neatly into two categories we’ll review them that way.  Review crew members, Angie and Carlos are here with their respective assessments.
Pjur Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray $22.95
An exceptional anal spray designed for men. Key ingredient, lauromacrogol*, lightly 41EfmBt7mFL._SS500_desensitizes the anal sphincter to increase his anal pleasure. No lydocaine or benzocaine. Only a few sprays needed per application.

Pjur Backdoor Relaxing Anal Glide $22.95
Long-lasting silicone anal lube designed for men specifically to enhance the pleasure of anal intercourse. Like Pjur AnalyseMe!, but with a higher concentration of ingredients. Jojoba extracts help relax the anal sphincter enhancing the experience. Perfect for use in combination with Pjur Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray.

Carlos:
I’ve wanted to try these products since I began seeing them online. What. it must be a year ago by now. I’m pretty much still learning to explore my ass and so these products have helped me a lot by boosting my confidence.

My situation is different from a lot of guys I know. I’m married to a great woman who I love deeply. I’m also bisexual. My wife has been very supportive of me investigating my queer identity, so I’m thankful for that. She has no interest in pegging me. She thinks the whole idea of a strap-on is ridiculous. So that leaves me with the option of getting into my ass only with a male partner. It always has to be safe sex, of course.

However, the opportunities to play with a man are few and far between. Thus the 31co4Ns77YL._SS500_need for a confidence building measure likes the Backdoor products. I have to use a lot of lube for anal play of any sort, so why not use one that will desensitizes my butt in the process. Makes perfectly good sense to me.

I used both products — Backdoor Anal Comfort Spray and Backdoor Relaxing Anal GlideBackdoor Relaxing Anal Glide. separately as well as together. For me the ideal is using them together. Although I can safely say that if I had to choose just one, I’d go with the lube.

Backdoor Relaxing Anal Glide is very slick compared to a lot of the other water-based lubes I’ve tried. And you have to have a water-based lube when you’re using a latex condom.

I have the greatest confidence in the Pjur product line to bring me the highest quality lubes without all the chemical additives found in other similar products. Pjur products are dermatologist tested.

The promotional materials for the Backdoor line of products says it’s more concentrated, thus more powerful I guess, than the Pjur AnalyseMe! product. I can’t testify to that, because I haven’t had an opportunity to test them side-by-side. But you can read Mick and Chuck’s review HERE.

Full review HERE!

Pjur MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant $22.95
Water based personal lubricant and sexual enhancement product designed for women who desire more pleasure. Ginseng provides a natural stimulating and warming effect 31lu06xkuLL._SS500_thus maximizing her sexual experience. Perfect for use in combination with Pjur MyGlide Stimulation Spray.

Pjur MySpray Stimulation Spray $22.95
A refreshingly different intimacy spray for women. This new formulation contains a unique blend of ingredients designed to stimulate vaginal blood circulation for ultimate arousal, enhancing the sexual experience. Only a few sprays needed per application.

Angie:
I turned 48 this past May. For the last year or so, I’ve been looking into a variety of things that I hoped would assist me in regaining my libido. I’m chalking this libido loss to growing older and the onset of menopause. I realize that I’m experiencing menopause somewhat earlier than most of my friends, which make the event all the more worrisome.

My husband is kind and generous and will often treat me to a backrub when I’m not in the mood. But I know he would rather be more intimate than that. I often feel bad putting him off as frequently as I do; that’s why I’ve been engaged in this search for libido enhancing products.

Like Carlos, I too used both products — MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant and MySpray Stimulation Spray separately as well as together. For me the ideal is using them together. Although I too will say that if I had to choose just one, I’d go with the MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant. The spray is an added and appreciated bonus.

The lubricant has a double effect; it both arouses and warms. And it does so with out harsh chemicals that would irritate sensitive skin like mine. I’ve tried other “warming” lubes and gels, but couldn’t tolerate any of them. MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant is water-based, which is my lubricant of choice. It’s so much easier to clean up than silicone-based lubes.

Like all the Pjur products, MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant is dermatologically tested and extremely gentle to your skin.

Using a personal lubricant is all the more important now that I’m menopausal. I never used to have to worry about dryness all that much in the past. So I figure, why not use a stimulating lube since I have to use a lube anyway. MyGlide Stimulating & Warming Lubricant provides just that, a wonderful tingly and warming sensation throughout my genitals.

The MySpray Stimulation Spray works in a different way than does the lubricant. It also provides a tingly sensation that feel like champagne bubbles on my skin. It’s really fun, I must confess. The combination of the lubricant and spray improves blood flow and circulation in my genitals and assists me with sexual arousal.

Full review HERE!

Tune in next week for more new Pjur products.

I’ll be the judge of that!

Name: Eddie
Gender: male
Age: 19
Location: Sacramento
I have a pretty big dick, almost 9 inches and if I try I can bend myself till the tip is just touching my lips and then I can shoot right in my mouth.  But I want to get more of my cock in my mouth because I think it’s hot.  Are there any exercises I can do to help me do this?  Thanks.

You go, dude!  Autofellatio, or self-sucking is every man’s dream.  Of course, if all selfsuck2.jpgof us men folk could blow ourselves, there would be no good reason for us to ever leave our house.

What we have here, sex fans, is a guy who can orally masturbate himself. According to the Kinsey Reports less than 1% of males can lick or suck their own cock.  Obviously, suckin’ is more difficult than lickin’, because the guy’s gotta fold himself over a whole lot more to get more of his unit in his mouth.  But it is doable for the lucky few.

Did you know that there is archaeological evidence for self-administered blowjobs in Egyptian hieroglyphs?   That’s right, sex fans!  According to researcher David Lorton, “Many ancient texts refer to autofellatio within the religious mythology of Egypt.  The sun god Ra is said to have created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by sucking himself off, then spitting out his spunk into the ground.”  Yeah baby, give me that old time religion!

Successful self-sucking depends on two things, Eddie — having a big enough dick and being limber as all get-out so you can pretty much bend in half.  Every guy can do something about his flexibility, but none of us can grow our dick longer.  That’s why this behavior remains fantasy material for the vast majority of us wee willies.

autofellatio.jpgIf you want to suck your own cock it’s a good idea to begin by expanding your range of motion; ya know, working on becoming more limber.  Concentrate on stretching exercises that will help improve the flexibility in your legs, glutes, lower back, upper back and neck.  If you’re not doin Yoga, pup, now’s a good time to start.

Begin by stretching out your legs.  Your quads and hamstrings need to be nice and limber.  While lying flat on the floor, with your legs fully extended.  Lift each leg in succession.  Take hold of your calf or thigh and pull your bent leg toward your chest.  Hold this for 15 seconds, breathe deeply and release.  Repeat five more times.  Once you’re able to do one leg at a time, work on doing both legs at once.  Be careful not to over stretch, you don’t want to pull a muscle.

Next stretch your back and neck. While lying flat on the floor, clasp your fingers together place them behind your head and slowly roll yourself up while your hold your chin to your chest. This will be exactly like doing a crunch, only completely different.  Hold these stretches for 15 seconds apiece, breathe deeply and release.  Repeat five more times.

Once you’ve mastered these stretches to the point you can pert-near fold yourself in half, you should be getting close to being able to lick your own dick…if it’s long enough, that is.

While lying flat on the floor place, roll yourself up, legs to your head and place your knees, one at a time, on either side of your head so you’re looking at your crotch and your pud is pointed towards your lips. Don’t forget to breathe through these stretches.

Now grab your ass and pull your dick closer to your mouth.  If it’s meant to be, this is how it will happen.  If it’s not meant to be, it won’t.

But don’t despair, if ya can’t pull this off.  All those stretching exercises you’ve been doing will make you a much better lover with a partner.  Because you will be much more limber for all the sexual gymnastics, don’t cha know.

Name: Gil
Gender: male
Age: 25
Location: Ohio
I’m bi and I have both female and male lovers.  Right now, I’m in more of a same sex phase.  I’m dating two different guys that I like a lot.  Both are really nice and fun and the sex is pretty good.  But neither one of these guys — one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how to kiss worth a damn.  And I can’t get worked up without kissing.  The 23 year old claims to be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him.  The other guy is all like all open mouth teeth.  Yuck!  Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?

You are so right on, Gil!  Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men.  Women kissing.jpgoften tell me that their straight male partners don’t know squat about kissing either.  Is it just too intimate a thing for manly men nowadays or what?

And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy.  It’s supposed to be, for Pet’s sake!  What, does the 23 year old think he’ll maintain his “straightness” if he sucks and fucks another dude, but doesn’t kiss him?  WTF!

In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex.  If ya can’t kiss, I’d be willing to bet you can’t fuck either.  Oh, that’s not to say that you won’t be able to bump parts, any monkey can do that.  But real good fucking involves passion and how’s there supposed to be passion without kissing?  That’s what I’d like to know.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have.  Whether it’s a light kiss from a friend, or deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover.  We can express so much with kissing — love, passion, friendship, commitment — and we can do so while fully clothed.

lesbian_kiss.jpg

Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss.  But taking those kisses to other places on your partner’s body is a mighty fine idea too.  I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but now I’m convinced that’s now so.  It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to be nurtured before it blossoms.  Whatever the case may be, there are some things the kissing challenged ought know.

Always make sure that your breath is fresh.  There’s nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath!  This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.

Kissing not only involves your mouth, it also has to involve body contact, hugging and touching.

  • If you’re all open mouth, teeth and drool, you’re not kissing.
  • If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner’s mouth and down his or her throat, you’re not kissing.
  • If you’re biting instead of nibbling, you’re not kissing.
  • If you’re trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction cup, you’re not kissing.
  • If you’re kissing with your eyes wide open, you’re not kissing.
  • If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner’s mouth like it is searching for lost food, you’re not kissing.
  • IF someone is kissing you and you’re not kissing back, you’re not kissing.
  • If you’re body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you’re not kissing.
  • If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you’re not kissing.
  • If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you’re not kissing.

kissing02.jpgIf you’re pressed for technique, or you’re simply clueless about where to begin, start by giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time.  Slowly build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till you’re all over one another like a bad cold.

Or try light kissing all over your partner’s face and neck pausing every now and again for a deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes.  Whatever you do, don’t suck or slobber.  Save that for when you’re eating her out or sucking his cock.

If you think you need practice kissing, and unless you’ve been told that you are a great kisser, you do need practice.  And you’re too timid to invite a partner to join you for the exercise, here’s what I propose you do.  Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you.  Kiss that.  Stand in front of a mirror and watch yourself.  If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right track.

When you think you’re getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing.  Don’t be shy we all have to start somewhere.  You might invite your partner to give you some feed back on how you’re doing.  Remember, practice makes perfect.

Name: Wilson
Gender: male
Age: 58
Location: Lancing MI
I’m a successful entrepreneur, in decent health (I could stand to lose a few pounds.) I have just about everything a man could want in life, but I’m miserable.  I have no energy and I feel like I’m sleepwalking through my life.  I have no sex drive at all; my wife thinks I’m having an affair…I wish.  Even Viagra doesn’t do the trick anymore.  Is this just old age, or what?

Old age, at 58?  I beg your pardon!  Hell, you’re not even technically a senior yet!  older_men.jpgRegardless what we call it, you sound like you’re in the throws of andropause — male menopause — ya know, the change of life!

Never heard of such a thing?  You’re not alone.  It’s only been recently that the medical industry has begun to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels has on the male mind and body.  Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant.  WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages.  This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

There’s no doubt a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

While most all of us have heard of a mid-life crisis, and it’s tragic consequences — red convertible sports cars, comb-overs, and the trophy wife or lover — fewer have heard of andropause. A mid-life crisis is essentially a psycho-social adjustment to aging — bored at work, bored at home, bored with the wife or partner — that sort of thing.

Although andropause may coincide with a mid-life crisis, is not the same thing.  Andropause is a distinct physiological phenomenon that is akin to female menopause.

Like I said, the production of testosterone diminishes gradually after age 40.  I suppose you know that testosterone is the hormone that stimulates sexual development in the male infant, bone and muscle growth in adolescent males, and is responsible for our sexual drive, right?  But did you know that by the age of 55 the amount of testosterone secreted into our bloodstream is significantly lower than it was at 45.  And by age 80, most male hormone levels have decreased to pre-puberty levels.

  • Men, are you over 50, feeling weak, lethargic, depressed and irritable? Do you have mood swings, hot flashes, suffer from insomnia and decreased libido, like our buddy Wilson, here?  Then you too may be andropausal.  You need to get some lead back in your pencil!

check-up.JPGAll kidding aside, all us andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT).  Ask your physician about this.  Just know that some medical professionals resist testosterone therapy, because they mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer.  Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. However, before starting a testosterone regiment, insist on a complete physical, including blood work and a rectal examine.  Mmmm, rectal exams!

Here’s an interesting tidbit; total testosterone, which is generally the only thing that is ever measured in men complaining of andropausal symptoms, is only low in relation to the standard laboratory “normal range” in 13% of cases. However, more detailed blood analysis shows that  bio-available Testosterone, which is the important measure, is decreased in 74% of cases.

Testosterone is available in many forms — oral, injectable, trans-dermal and by way of implants. The oral form is not recommended because of the high risk of liver damage.  But injections, patches, pellets, creams and gels might be just the answer.

I encourage you to be informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

I just found a swell resource online:  The Andropause Society.  Check it out!

Good luck ya’ll

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #68 — 06/23/08

Hey sex fans,

We return all hearty and healthy after last week’s unintentional hiatus (Damned computers!) to bring you a really terrific show. I have a big steamy load of Q&A for ya, so stay tuned. Oh, and this is also Gay Pride week here in the Jet City, so a special shot out to all my fellow queers and dykes. Be Out! Be Proud Ya’ll!

  • Dion is a wee bit andropausal, don’t ‘cha know!
  • A’s man has somethin’ growin’ on his dick. Is that why she’s hurtin’?
  • Bob is just out of the slammer, and lost his wood with a HOT chick.
  • Frankie can’t cum with her hubby.
  • Mike is a nervous wreck about his tiny willie and short fuse.
  • G. Ryder had a little accident and now he’s worried

Finally, Sex In The News!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. ;-) Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on DrDickSexAdvice.com. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what’s hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos.

DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!

Look for the Product Reviews tab right there at the top of DrDickSexAdvice.com.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Access Instructional Media.

Sex Advice With An Edge — Podcast #66 — 06/02/08


Hey sex fans,

I have a whopper of a show for you today. We return to our usual question and answer format this week, because I have a big, hot load of stimulating questions. And I respond with an equal number of clever, resourceful and oh so enlightening responses! Hey, it’s what I do.

  • Tony need help gettin’ ink off his dickhead! WHAT?
  • James wonders if he should do it with a guy.
  • Kit feels like she has to pee when she cums.
  • Macwinhar wants to spice things ups with his old man.
  • Michael, Jerome, Conor, Angela, Juan and Saukha get a quickie.

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s dr dick’s toll free podcast voicemail. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.Got a question? No time to write? Give dr dick a call at (866) 422-5680. Again, the TOLL FREE voicemail number is (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY !

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section — just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I don’t want you to miss even one episode.

I wanna take a moment to alert you to a new feature here on Dr Dick’s Sex Advice. It’s my PRODUCT REVIEW page. That’s right sex fans, now you can see what hot and what’s not in the world of adult products.From time to time I will be posting reviews of all kinds of adult related goodies — sex toys for sure, but also condoms, lubes, fetish gear as well as educational and enrichment videos. DON’T MISS A SINGLE ONE!Look for the Product Reviews tab at the top of the page.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: Access Instructional Media.new_aim.jpg

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