Category Archives: Sex And Aging

Proud, Perky, (Pervy), Penguin

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And, like the last two weeks, you can see them HERE and HERE, we welcome a new manufacturer to our review effort. This week it’s a German company, Satisfyer.  There is something about the European aesthetic that both excites and delights. But don’t take my word for it.

Here’s one of our favorite veteran reviewers, Jada, who will introduce us to today’s product.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) —— $33.99

Jada
When I heard that Dr Dick was reviving the Dr Dick Review Crew I wanted back in. It’s been nearly three years since I wrote my last review. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/2014/11/14/seed-by-zini/ Lots of things have changed in my life since then. When I joined the Review Crew way back in 2008 I was 46 years old, married (23 years), the mother of two teenage kids and I was working a very stressful job at a nonprofit organization. Now I am 55 years old, a widow, (my husband died two years ago), my kids are no longer teenagers (both are married), but I’m still working at that nonprofit. So even though many things change, others stay the same.

I really missed this reviewing effort; I was sorry when it ended. I missed discovering all the products that came my way. Not all of them were wonderful, not by a long shot, but each and every one taught me a little more about my body and my sexuality. I was also instrumental in introducing some of my friends to the world of adult products. So many women are clueless about the joys and pleasures to be had through adult products.

Today I have something really amazing to tell you about. What we have here is the award-winning Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) by Satisfyer. Isn’t he adorable?

The first thing that piqued my interest was the Next Generation part of its name. Since it suggested that this marvel has been a work in progress, I wanted to find out more. I searched the web for Satisfyer Pro and discovered I was right. Some while ago the first generation of this product, a red, pink, and white version, appeared on the market. There are plenty of reviews of that are still available on the web. Most reviewers like the first generation, but had issues with some of the toy’s attributes. I’ll have more to say about this below.

For the uninitiated, Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) is a clitoral stimulator, but it’s not a vibrator. Actually, it simulates oral sex with a delightful sucking motion.

Let’s start with the packaging, shall we? Satisfyer Pro Penguin (Next Generation) comes in is pleasant little cardboard container that features the adorable penguin. There’s a plastic insert, which holds the toy and it’s USB recharger, which connects to the Penguin by magnets. There’s also a very helpful user’s manual. The packaging is very nice, but simple and understated. Some manufactures package their products in such elaborate packaging, one has to wonder, how much more does all that packaging add to the retail price of the product? And, does that pricing place the product outside the grasp of less affluent women?

This generation of the toy not only resembles the shape of a penguin, but its whole color scheme changed from read, pink, and white to black and white, just like an actual penguin. He even sports a swanky little bow tie, which is removable. His belly houses the one dual-purpose, on/off and intensity, button. His oval beak is the business end of the toy. It envelops your clit and provides the sucking action. Delightful!

Pro Penguin fits easily and comfortably in my hand. There is nothing unwieldy here, thank you very much. I know that as I have gotten older my manual dexterity is less than it used to be. I am so glad that Satisfyer is being conscious of us older folks and our needs. As I mentioned above, the smallish oval beak offers pinpoint stimulation. The Satisfier logo is on the back of Pro Penguin, and there are two small metal charging pins are on its base.

Pro Penguin is covered is covered in a velvety, latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. And because it is waterproof and made of silicone it’s a breeze to clean. I simply submerge it into the sink with mild soap and warm water and rub it down a bit. Then let it air dry. The white “beak” is detachable for detailed cleaning with a cotton swab, if you’d like. Or you can just wipe the down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution to sanitize it for sharing. And because Pro Penguin is also 100% waterproof, it’s the ideal toy for bath or shower, more about this in a bit.

Pro Penguin is remarkably quiet, even when it’s not pleasuring your body. This is one of the improvements Satisfyer made over the first generation. The reviewers I mentioned at the beginning of this review all commented on how loud the first generation was.

There are 11 stimulation patterns you can cycle through till you find the one that best suits you and your current mood. Very Nice! The buttons are intuitive and easy to use. The control system of Pro Penguin also offers a + and – feature, which allows me full control of the strength of the suction. This is really important for a clitoral stimulator. Let me explain.

If you are unfamiliar with suction-based toys, as I was when I began playing with Pro Penguin, there are some things you should know. Suction type stimulation is very different from the stimulation you get with a vibrator. First off, Pro Penguin doesn’t vibrate! I find the pressure wave sensations more intense than vibration so I have to start slowly. Pro Penguin’s “beak” is small, so the pleasure is incredibly pinpoint. I find that sometimes I need to take a more indirect approach, at least at the beginning of my play, than direct clitoral contact. And this toy can feel very different from one setting too another.

My favorite place to use pleasure products is in the bath. This is where Pro Penguin shines. I can experience waves and waves of pleasure while being engulfed in womb-like warm water. In fact, my first orgasm ever was in a bath so this watery environment is like pleasure-home to me.

Dr Dick asked me to specifically address the issue of how Pro Penguin might appeal to senior and elder women. All I can say is if you like pinpoint clitoral stimulation, as some women do, this is the toy for you. It’s small, easy to handle, fits comfortably in one’s hand, controls are easy to manipulate, and it’s very quiet. I think senior and elder women will appreciate all of these features.

When you also consider that Pro Penguin is waterproof, rechargeable and covered in body-friendly silicone; well, that’s nearly perfection. And please, consider the price point. This amazing pleasure product is under $40. That is an amazing bargain.

Oh, one last thing. Not all seniors and elders have computers. And since Pro Penguin utilizes a USB-type recharger, that might be an issue. But even that concern is easily solved. One can purchase a very inexpensive USB wall charger at just about any variety store, drug store, or hardware store. These chargers plug directly into any wall socket. See, you don’t even need a computer.

Full Review HERE!

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5 Reasons The Sex Toy Market Is Failing The Needs Of Seniors

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By Lisa S. Lawless

Yes, older women want pleasure, too!

Sex toys are quite popular these days, but there are a few challenges that people over the age of 50 may be having with them. First, let’s get past the old myth that age has anything to do with one’s sexuality. Seniors are usually open to sex toys and have a healthy sexual desire. In fact, most people find their desire for sex and involvement in sexual activity continue as they age.

However, there are a few issues seniors are having when it comes to buying sex toys.

Here are 5 issues that seniors might run into when buying sex toys:

1. Sex toys are getting more technologically advanced and confusing.

Sex toys have been getting more and more advanced, and it is not uncommon to find such high-tech features as Bluetooth compatibility, multiple speeds, various functions, and remote controls that can be operated through your smartphone — not to mention the apps that allow users to create specialized vibration settings.

With basic knowledge in technology required for some of these new adult novelties, many seniors are finding it overwhelming when trying to find just a simple, quality sex toy. Often, they are left more confused when pursuing them than when they began.

2. New toys often require USB ports to charge them.

Many sex toys no longer feature the old fashioned batteries and plug-in chargers and are coming with USB charging technology.

They are less expensive than plug-in chargers to produce and they allow manufacturers to make only one model rather than having to do various models for different electrical outlets outside of the USA. However, many seniors who order sex toys are sometimes surprised when their sex toy arrives with a USB cord and may be unsure of how they are supposed to charge it.

While USB charging is becoming more common across all industries, it can leave some seniors wondering how they get a USB adapter or even what one is.

3. They’re not often ergonomic.

With new technology allowing sex toys to be more compact and artistic in design it sometimes means not being easy to hold especially for those who have arthritis or mobility issues.

There are some sex toy holders and pillows that can help hold toys in place, but those seniors who have such concerns may find it difficult to know how much trouble they might have holding or maneuvering a sex toy without having to buy it first.

4. Their designs can be confusing.

With many of the new sex toys looking more and more like sculptures and less like the human anatomy, it can be difficult for seniors to get an idea of what goes where and how a sex toy is going to stimulate themselves and/or their partner.

Some retail descriptions offer a lot of hype but fail to explain how sex toys specifically work, what parts stimulate the body and instructions on how to use a product.

5. Sex terminologies have changed.

With sex toy retailers using terms like “dils” instead of dildos or phalluses, and “love rings” instead of “cockrings” or “penis rings,” some seniors are having a hard time catching up with the terminology that is being used. Many are not aware that some sex toys contain toxins and why the terms body-safe and phthalate free are so important.

With changing terminology, it can make it difficult for seniors to articulate what type of products they are looking for let alone understand what is available to them.

One beneficial change in the modern era, however, is senior sex toy support!

On the bright side, with sexual wellness education available through quality sex educators, it is easy for seniors to find helpful articles and customer service representatives to become educated about these topics and learn how sex toys can not only provide pleasure but also increase sexual health and intimacy with their partner.

Complete Article HERE!

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Old people still like sex

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Sex educator Jane Fleishman says intimacy improves life regardless of age

Bodies change, but they don’t necessarily become less beautiful.

Jane Fleishman

Erectile dysfunction is a factor for many men, but it can be dealt with.

Aging doesn’t have to mean the end of intimacy.

Sex is part of living and you don’t have to be young to enjoy it, sex educator Jane Fleishman of Deerfield told a group gathered to hear her talk at the assisted living facility Christopher Heights in Northampton recently.

“I am on a mission to change the way continuing care communities treat end-of -life care,” she said following her talk in mid September. “I don’t want to wait around, I want to see change happen in my lifetime.”

To that end, Fleishman, 63, a fast-talking native New Yorker, has been traveling the country holding workshops to spread her message.

“There is no expiration date on sex,” she told the crowd of about four dozen people, mostly residents, at Christopher Heights. Sharing intimacy is an important contributor to good quality of life, she says. Older adults who are more sexually active have a lower instance of heart disease and dementia, she added. “We know that people’s well-being is affected.”

One study that seems to support that was done by a team of researchers from Coventry University in Britain who found that having an active sex life leads to less mental deterioration as people age.

In 2010 researchers surveyed men in their 70s, 80s, and 90s, and found that they continue to live sexually satisfied lives, according to a study in the medical journal the Annals of Internal Medicine.

“Sex makes you feel alive – it makes you feel sensually connected to yourself,” said Monica Levine, a clinical social worker who runs a private practice in Northampton and is a certified sex therapist.

Edie Daly, 80, of Northampton, a petite woman with short white hair who was at the talk, says sex continues to be an important part of her life. In fact, she says, the best sex of her life started only after she met her wife at age 60.

“We have a deep abiding love,” she said, adding that she can’t imagine life without sex and other intimate touch. “Sex is another form of communication.”

Getting creative

But sex doesn’t always come easy —  and that’s OK — sometimes it takes a little creativity for older adults to reach satisfaction or to accommodate their changing bodies, Fleishman says.

Joint pain from arthritis, for instance, can make sex uncomfortable. Warm baths or changing positions might make intimacy more comfortable and ease any pain, according to the National Institute on Aging, a federal government organization in Baltimore which researches health in older people.

In cases of erectile dysfunction, massage is one approach that can help, says Fleishman. For vaginal dryness, there are lubricants.

Another woman who came to the talk, Mae Lococo, 93, who lives at Christopher Heights, says her husband was “quite vigorous” in bed up until he passed away two years ago. He was also an excellent ballroom dancer, she adds. She wouldn’t mind meeting another man now, she says, but notes there is a shortage of them at her age.

Consent always a factor

There can be a dark side to sex for those who are residents of nursing homes or other facilities, says Fleishman — the possibility of sexual abuse. She encourages younger people to talk to their parents to make sure they aren’t being victimized in some way. It is important, she says, that they feel free to approach a family member or other advocate for help. Just as younger people need to be aware of the boundaries of consent, older people need to understand them too, she says. Sometimes, as people age, they may experience some cognitive decline or dementia, which can make consenting to sex more difficult. That, she says, makes it particularly important for advocates to look out for them. “Consent is complicated when you get older.”

Aging adults also must continue to be aware of sexually transmitted infections, she says. “Sometimes people say, ‘I’m not going to get pregnant, so why does he need to wear a condom?’ While older adults face the same risks as other populations, sexually transmitted diseases often aren’t on the radar of their doctors, she says.

“They might be thinking the same way their patients’ offspring are: ‘Oh, that’s granddad, he can’t be having sex’ or ‘That’s grandma, she can’t be doing it, she can barely get down the stairs.’

“Well, even if she can’t get down the stairs she still might be able to have some fun upstairs,” Fleishman said.

Get over it

At age 55, Fleishman retired from her 30-year career as director of staff development at Connecticut Valley Hospital, a psychiatric hospital in Middletown, Connecticut and went back to school to get a doctorate in human sexuality from Widener University in Pennsylvania.

In addition to holding sessions on sexuality, she is writing a book about LGBT elders. She wants people to get over feeling squeamish about sexuality among the older generation.

“When I talk to young people about what they think old people do in bed and they get all nervous,” she says. “They say, ‘Too many wrinkles’ or ‘eww.’ Well, if you are lucky enough you will get there and you will realize, it isn’t so bad.”

Complete Article HERE!

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Why are we shocked to learn Judi Dench still likes sex?

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In a time of rather unsettling news, one might imagine that the fact that Dame Judi Dench, at the age of 82, still rather enjoys sex, wouldn’t rate a mention.

But, alas, here we are.

Judi Dench, left, and Ali Fazal pose during a photo call for the film Victoria And Abdul at the 74th Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy.

By Annie Brown

n an interview for The Radio Times, Dench spoke about her latest role playing Queen Victoria in the throes of a romantic-tinged friendship with Indian clerk Abdul Karim in the twilight years of her life. The film, Victoria and Abdul, said Dench, explores the quite shocking idea that sex, romance and intimacy isn’t just for the young.

“Well, of course, you still feel desire. Does that ever go? To the older reader, I would say: ‘Don’t give up,'” the Oscar winner said.

Dench then further scandalised everybody by admitting that she doesn’t wear older lady certified undies (beige, bloomer-esque, devoid of any sexiness, one supposes).

“There’s a lovely naughty knicker shop  —  but don’t buy up everything because I’m going there,” Dench said (or perhaps she purred? We weren’t eye witnesses).

Dench also spoke about not needing to fake an attraction to her co-star, Ali Fazal, who plays Abdul Karim,

“He is very, very tall.

Actress Jane Fonda arrives for the photo call for the film Our Souls At Night at the 74th Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy.

“He is extremely beautiful and he is an utterly delightful, charming man.”

“No acting at all required.”

Needless to say, her admissions attracted a lot of breathy headlines around the world.

In her personal life Dench has also found love once more with conservationist David Mills, 73, following the death of her husband of 30 years, Michael Williams, in 2001.

She told Good Housekeeping recently, “One hot night during the summer we swam and had a glass of champagne in the garden and I said: ‘This is so fantastic’. I get overexcited about things. I love having a laugh.”

Dench joins Jane Fonda, 79, this month in the scandalous act of talking about older people both having sex, and a zest for life.

Speaking at the Venice Film Festival Fonda spilled on filming (and enjoying) sex scenes in her 70s. Because it reflects where she’s at (in the bedroom).

“First of all, we’re braver,” Fonda told The Hollywood Reporter of her sex life now. “What do you have to lose? So my skin sags… so does his. You know your body better, so you’re not afraid to ask for what you need. I think on a love and sex level, it just gets better.”

And here’s the thing, just as in Fonda’s show, Grace and Frankie, in which she and co-star Lily Tomlin have rediscovered their sexual desire after unsatisfying marriages (and created a rather nifty new product line in vibrators designed for older women), older people have sex. And experience desire. And fancy the pants off people.

Something that was reflected in New Zealand’s brand Lonely Lingerie’ decision to cast 56-year-old model Mercy Brewer for its autumn/winter campaign earlier this year. Because, it turns out, (some) women over 30 like nice smalls too – be it for a partner or purely for their own pleasure. Again, wouldn’t it be nice when a woman in her 50s posing in her underwear isn’t celebrated but is, in fact, business as usual?

According to a recent study of 7000 men and women aged between 50 and 90, half of men and almost a third of women aged 70 and over were still sexually active.

As The Conversation reports, about two-thirds of men and more than half of women thought “good sexual relations were essential to the maintenance of a long-term relationship” and “being sexually active was physically and psychologically beneficial to older people.”

Putting to the side sexual problems that can come with age, and creating expectations around what the sex life of an older person ‘should’ look like (it might be swinging from the chandelier! It might be no sex but a nice cup of tea, please! All of which is fine). But it sure would be nice if the news of Judi Dench and Jane Fonda’s sex lives didn’t have such cut-through.

For, surely, we have far more urgent things to be alarmed about.

Complete Article HERE!

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‘I’m 62 and my sex life is more important now than ever’

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‘I don’t believe I shouldn’t have a sex life just because I haven’t met ‘the one’’

By

Sex is just as important for women after 50: that’s what the European Court of Human Rights made clear when it ruled that the judges who reduced a 50-year-old woman’s compensation for a botched gynaecological operation had discriminated against her.

Maria Morais, who is Portuguese and has two children, sought compensation on the grounds that she was unable to continue a normal sex life, but the judges in the original case had argued that the importance of sex declines for women as they get older.

The European Court of Human Rights found that this constituted sexual discrimination, and that the judges had “ignored the physical and psychological importance of sexuality for women’s self-fulfilment and other dimensions of women’s sexuality”.

Sex doesn’t stop at a certain age

In popular culture, portrayals of relationships among older people are becoming more common, implying a greater acknowledgement of older women’s sexuality

In popular culture, portrayals of relationships among older people are becoming more common, implying a greater acknowledgement of older women’s sexuality. The film It’s Complicated (2009) starred Meryl Streep (inset), whose character has an affair with her ex, played by Alec Baldwin, decades after their divorce. This year, Hampstead saw Diane Keaton as a widow falling in love with a man living wild on Hampstead Heath, played by Brendan Gleeson.

Data backs up her case, too. In 2014, a Saga survey of 9,685 people aged over 50 found three-fifths are sexually active and 23 per cent are having sex once a week.

Research released by the Longevity Centre in 2016 showed that 60 per cent of men and 37 per cent of women aged over 65 had sexual activity in the past year.

Caitlin (not her real name), 62, needs no court ruling or Hollywood film to tell her that her sex life is important. She has been in a number of monogamous relationships, but is now having intimate relationships with more than one man.

Having an active sex life makes me feel alive. There’s a deliciousness about it.

I’m single and I have sex regularly, but I’ve been celibate in an earlier relationship when my partner lost interest. I have also been a mistress, where I discovered the thrill of coming to terms with my non-vanilla side. I feel more in touch with my sexuality now than I ever have done.

Sex is not the be all and end all. While I’m passionate about sex for those who want it, I’m also very aware that other people can get satisfaction from other things. But I think if one has the desire, sex is such a fabulous, life-enforcing thing at any age. It’s just a marvellous sensation.

Being 62 doesn’t mean I have to settle

I talk openly about my sex life with my close friends; it’s a running joke with them about what my neighbours would make of me.

I’m not hankering for my ‘one and only’. If I met them, that would be delightful. But I don’t believe I shouldn’t have a sex life just because I haven’t met ‘the one’. You can have good enough relationships that are absolutely fine without being the big thing. I don’t like compromising – just because I’m 62, it doesn’t mean I have to settle.

It would be fabulous to meet somebody who ticks all of the boxes, but I don’t feel I’m missing out because I haven’t got that. Having a sense of adventure and not knowing who I may meet is great fun.

I wanted to be open minded about sex

‘I was stood in the college library and thought, ‘I’m going to go and masturbate’

I grew up in a village South Wales and lost my virginity aged 18 to the man I thought I was going to marry. It was a huge thing because I was still a practising Catholic and it was not the done thing to have sex at school.

At that age, I wanted to be open minded about sex. I enjoyed it. I loved the power of being able to turn a man on, But with everything around you [at that age] you have a patriarchal version of sexuality. The whole thing of ‘what is sexy’ comes from the images you see.

I never masturbated as a teenager – I think I was quite proud that I didn’t. Then I got into this relationship and started to think there must be more to sex than this. When I was 19, I was stood in the college library and thought, ‘I’m going to go and masturbate.’ And I went back to my room and I did!

I began exploring my sexuality in my forties

‘I set myself a goal of being able to use a computer.’

I’ve always had sexual fantasies about spanking, which meant I had a life time of growing up with these suppressed fantasies that I thought were sort of dangerous.

I began exploring my sexuality in my forties when I posted adverts in a magazine. I met someone I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life when he responded to my advert.

He already knew that I had these fantasies from reading my advert. Our sex life was completely vanilla but fantastic and very active until about six years in, when he developed an illness and went off sex. He seemed almost relieved of the burden.

I cared about him and so I put up with it and set myself a couple of personal goals. One was to learn to use a computer properly. Another was to start creative writing – I had always wanted to write erotica.

Things changed with this exploration of female sexuality and fantasies. I realised I wasn’t going to bring the world crashing down because I have sexual fantasies.

Age 56, I started advertising for lovers

‘I discovered this community out there with the same interest.’

Writing erotica was fun and I was curious to find out if what worked for me sexually worked for other people. I discovered this community out there with the same interest and it brought me back to life.

I started communicating with a man online. We discovered we were both in sexless relationships. I had never been unfaithful and took monogamy very seriously but I was getting to the point where I couldn’t continue like this. I told my partner I was going to struggle to stay faithful if our relationship remained non-sexual.

Suddenly, we had a fantastic sex life again. But it only lasted a fortnight.I told my partner again that I would not be able to be faithful in a sexless marriage and he left me. The man I was talking to online became my lover.

I began putting adverts out online to meet other people and started having other sexual partners. I was 56 at this time.

Sex has to be intimate

We have the rituals you have as a couple; going out together, watching TV, going on holidays

For me, there has to be a level of intimacy in sexual encounters. I met a couple of guys where there was a coldness and that is just not right for me. But there can be a level of intimacy without love.

There’s a chap I’ve been seeing for a few years and we’re very comfortable with each other. We have the rituals you have as a couple; going out together, watching TV, going on holidays.

I see other people because the time we have together is limited and I want more. The ages of the people I see varies; I recently stopped seeing someone who was five years older. The oldest chap I was seeing was about 69. But I’ve also had relationships with people in their thirties and forties.

I’ve now moved back to the village where I grew up. I’m part of the Women’s Institutes and I’ve done relatively serious things work wise. It’s just nice that there is this other part of you that is private, such fun and so life-enhancing.

Complete Article HERE!

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