The SEX WISDOM of PJ Raval — Podcast #421 — 06/16/14

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Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Our Pride Month extravaganza continues, but we will be shifting gears a bit today.PJ 02

After two weeks visiting with a noted Australian author, Benjamin Law, with his unique perspective on the gay scene in Asia, we circle back home to meet an equally remarkable personality who is making waves with his groundbreaking move, Before You Know It.

This is the SEX WISDOM show and I have the distinct pleasure of welcoming the award winning filmmaker and documentarian, PJ Raval. He is here to discuss his movie, which features three senior and elder gay men. I know, what in the world was he thinking?

PJ goes out of his way to make the invisible visible by shining his spotlight on an often-ignored segment of our youth-oriented culture and the result is nothing short of stunning. Stay tuned as we find out how and why.

PJ and I discuss:

  • Kyle Henry who brought us together;
  • The role of the editor in creating filmmaking art;
  • The documentary and how it is different from fictional story telling;
  • How he came to choose the film’s subject matter;
  • Storytelling tapping into something more universal;
  • The community of independent filmmakers;
  • The difference between documentary filmmaking and journalism;
  • His editorial style;
  • The public viewing experience;
  • Before You Know It…a cautionary message;
  • Who is PJ Raval;
  • How long it took him to create his film;
  • Chasing the money.

PJ invites you to visit him on his movie’s site HERE! And be sure to like his film’s page on Facebook HERE! His movie even has its own twitter feed. You’ll find it HERE!

(Click on the movie poster below to find out more about PJ’s movie.)

before you know it

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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Pretty is what pretty does

Name: Nanine
Gender: Female
Age: 50
Location: Kent, WA.
I have problems with my body image. My breasts really sag; my abdominal skin is very loose and hanging. It affects the sexual positions I want to get in. (on top) When I am with someone new, they will tell me that I am very beautiful (they assume I will be underneath as well) and with a feeling of dread I think “wait until you see me with my clothes off.” I know men are very visual. I am very visual! I want to be free to express myself sexually, and I do for the most part, but if I have someone who wants to see me naked or really look at me, it is very hard. Any ideas?

Yeah, men are visual, and if they think you are attractive with your cloths on, maybe that’s all they care about. And anyone who would raise an eyebrow at a middle-aged woman having a middle-aged woman’s body isn’t ready for all the seasoned lovin’ a hot middle-aged woman can offer. Am I right, or am I right?  Besides, darlin’ have you seen what middle-aged men look like in the buff?

beautiful middle-aged womanI am of the mind that those of us who have been around the block a time or ten, if ya know what I mean, should have bodies that look a little lived in. Those who can’t accept that oughta take a hike. That is if you ax me!

It’s like going for a job interview and the interviewer says, “We want all the experience you have, but we want it in a person half your age.” Really?  Well, fuck you very much!  That’s not gonna happen.

Listen, Nanine, the freedom you seek to express your sexuality without encumbrances is gonna flow from inside you, from the comfort level you have in being your own self, including your saggy tits or loose abdominal skin. You either embrace your sexy self with all your assets and liabilities, or ya don’t. And if ya don’t, then it’s your fault, not some shallow dude who might dismiss you for having less than a perfect body at age 50.

So many of us script ourselves right out of all the best sex and intimacy we desire. We foolishly buy into the dominant culture’s ideas and norms of what is attractive and what is not and we do it at our own peril.

Give yourself a break, hun, be proud of those less than perky tits of yours and let your tummy hang-the fuck-out all over the place. Stand against the popular culture’s notion of beauty, vitality, and sexiness; don’t feed it. And I certainly discourage you from projecting society’s judgmental attitudes on your potential partners. After all, they may be way more liberated than you.

Good luck

Early Spring 2014 Q&A Show — Podcast #413 — 03/31/14

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Hey sex fans,rifleman

After a spate of marvelous interview shows, it’s time to turn our attention to the sexually worrisome in our audience. I have a swell Q&A show in store for you today, which just so happens to be our last podcast before our annual spring break. Each of my correspondents is eager to share his or her sex and relationship concerns with us. And I will do my level best to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining. And I think there will be enough time for us to do some sex science too. So please stay tuned, you won’t want to miss this.

  • Kennedy, Jim, and Ronald’s lives are being fucked up by meth.
  • Sam wants to know about and share some information about penis pumps.
  • Rebecca has a heartbreaking story to tell of the last days before her husband of 46 years died.
  • Tracy asks about babies and gender. So you know it’s time for some Sex Science.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

More SEX WISDOM With Lara Eardley — Podcast #392 — 10/02/13

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Hey sex fans! Welcome back.portrait in the blue dress

Author, activist, and passionate advocate for pelvic floor strength, the incomparable, Lara Eardley is back with us today for another go ‘round on this the SEX WISDOM show. I’m still kinda breathless from last week’s show, so I can’t tell you how eager I am for more of her today.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #391 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Lara and I discuss:

  • Her difficult early life;
  • Being in your body instead of living in your head;
  • From adversity to empathy;
  • The perineal lift;
  • Hands-free orgasms;
  • Reversing incontinence;
  • Those who inspire her and her sexual heroes.

Lara invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Don’t miss her YouTube channel HERE! And she also on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!

 

Click on the cover art below for more information about Lara’s books and her DVD.

pelvic floor DVD Enchantress Book Cover enchantress

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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SEX WISDOM With Lara Eardley — Podcast #391 — 09/25/13

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Hello sex fans! Welcome back.facebook dec 2012

I know, let’s take an audio field trip to the land down under to visit with one of the most exciting women I’ve ever met. She is a pioneer in her field. She is an author, an activist, and advocate for pelvic floor strength. In a minute the incomparable, Lara Eardley will join us. But. before she does, I want you to prepare yourself to be bowled over. Laura is a powerhouse of passion and I’m pretty sure we will be treated to the full force of her signature SEX WISDOM. Buckle your seat belts, sex fans!

Lara and I discuss:

  • Being passionate about pelvic floor muscles;
  • Good, responsive and supple muscles prevent incontinence;
  • Education, education, education;
  • Sexual fitness;
  • Her study of Buddhist tantra, sexual medicine, and energetic work;
  • 6000 years of cultural knowledge;
  • Awareness and evolution;
  • Bliss;
  • Ejaculation control and life-force energy conservation;
  • Self-cultivation.

Lara invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Don’t miss her YouTube channel HERE! And she also on Facebook HERE! And Twitter HERE!

 

Click on the cover art below for more information about Lara’s books and her DVD.

pelvic floor DVD     Enchantress Book Cover     enchantress

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

Down, but not out

Name: Roger
Gender: Male
Age: 70s
Location: Saugatuck Michigan
Hi– linked to your very interesting site via Allkink. My question: last year I underwent radiation on my prostate; it was enlarged and had cancer cells. Apparently it did the job, since my PSA is way down and the Dr. says I’ve shrunk, and am healthy otherwise. But since then I am almost totally impotent (don’t get erect when I want to, though sometimes get semi-erect at random times). I can still orgasm, but don’t ejaculate; sometimes a little clear fluid dribbles out afterwards. Curiously, I could still ejaculate during and right after the radiation treatments, but not now. Also in general a noticeable decrease in libido. Needless to say, very annoying.

I’m gay, solo, in my 70s, celibate since mid-1980s when I tested HIV-, and a dedicated bottom. I knew I was at risk, and “safe-sex” just didn’t turn me on. I’ve been using dildos of all sizes for years. Now, insertion has become a little painful (kinda stings, like the first times way back when), but after several tries they go in OK. Those of larger girth or not-very-smooth texture are really difficult, and I’ve pretty much given up on them (though “John Holmes” still works!). There is occasionally a little blood on the dildo afterwards, but bleeding doesn’t persist, and Dr. says I have no hemorrhoid. The radiologist did warn me that the treatment might produce scar tissue in the colon. Is that a possibility?

I hate to think that I ought to give up altogether on my little pleasures, but would welcome you advice/opinion. I haven’t discussed this with my urologist, whom I don’t know very well, but did bring it up with my (female) GP, who didn’t seem overly concerned and merely suggested lots of lube, which was not news to me.PMB110

Wow, Roger, that was a mouthful. I am so delighted that you wrote in. I love hearing from folks in their 60’s 70’s and 80’s who are still enjoying a rich and fulfilling sex life, even if it is by themselves. I am of the mind that self-pleasuring can be some of the most rewarding sex available to a person at any age. And nowadays, with all the amazing sex toys on the market, one can enjoy solitary sexual pleasure like never before.

I’ve written and spoken a lot about prostate issues including the aftermath of cancer treatments. May I suggest that you take a look at the CATEGORY section on the sidebar of my site? There you will find a category labeled “Health Concerns.” There are subcategories for “Anal Fissures,”  and one for “Prostatectomy.”  I realize that you haven’t had a radical prostatectomy, but your situation is very similar to those men who have. If you click on either of those two subcategories you will find loads of useful information in both written and podcasts form.

In the meantime, let me see if I can address some of your questions in a nutshell. You ask about possible scar tissue from radiation therapy. The short answer is; yes, scar tissue is possible, even probable. And as we all know scar tissue is not nearly as pliable as regular tissue. Scar tissue also MR01034has fewer nerve ending than normal tissue. You could be injuring yourself without even knowing it since the sensations in your ass are considerably less then they once were. I’d be willing to guess that this might be the source of the bleeding you report. Maybe you need to retire the really big toys, like the John Holmes, and enjoy something more modest for the time being. Another suggestion is to try an inflatable dildo.  or a smaller insertable that vibrates.  There are several on the market. You can find several in My Stockroom. The advantage to something like the inflatable dildo is that you could insert something relatively narrow  and inflate to a larger size once inside. This would avoid ramming a big dildo in bum from the get go. And a vibrating insertable would add stimulation without the length or girth.E477

As to your erection issues; yeah, I hear ya. Aging alone will take its toll on the hydraulics that give us wood. When you couple that with the trauma of invasive surgery and/or radiation therapy, well it’s no wonder stiffies elude us. I tell the men that I see in my private practice, who are similarly challenged as you, to use a cock ring  to assist in getting the best boner possible under the circumstances. A penis pump works pretty well too, if you want to go the distance.  I have lots more to say about these devices if you care to hear about it.

C923Also, several men I know with erection concerns are taking a cue from the women folk and employing a vibrator in their sex play. There are the insertable kind, as I’ve already mentioned, and there are external ones too. Have you given this option a thought? The extra stimulation a vibrator can produce will increase blood flow and thus a more substantial boner. I have a whole lot more to say about this too if you care to write to me for that information.

In the end, it will be desire that will continue to propel you to further enjoy yourself and the pleasures your body has to offer. I wish you continued lust and many more years of healthy and life-affirming sexuality.

Good luck

Hits The Spot

Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday once again. And today we bring you a second product from that innovative Canadian company, BodiSpa.

But wait! You didn’t miss our first BodiSpa review, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you can find it and all our reviews on DrDickSexToyReviews.com. Use the search function in the header, type in “The Almighty” and VOILÀ!

Today Dr Dick Review Crew member, Angie is here with her thoughts and comments on her new massager.

The Ultimate —— $69.95

Angie
Hello everyone! This is only my second review so far this year. My previous review posted last February. My, how time flies. Those of you who follow my reviews will, no doubt, be expecting an update on how I’m doing. For those unfamiliar with my situation, here’s the back-story. I was diagnosed with lymphoma over two years ago. I first mentioned this in a review I posted on April 27th, 2012.

I’ve had a few setbacks recently, nothing major, but just enough to remind me that I’m still livingUltimate-Massager1 through the cancer and the truly horrible interventions that are supposedly keeping me alive. My libido ebbs and flows and I’ve made my peace with that. I don’t suppose I’ll ever get back to the way I once enjoyed my sexuality and the sexual connection I had with my husband. But as Dr Dick keeps telling me, it’s best that I focus on the new normal; what is possible for me now as opposed to how things were, in even the recent past. That’s pretty sage advice for us all, don’t you think?

Today I happily bring you my review of a marvelous wand-type massager, The Ultimate. I read with great interest the review, my fellow Review Crew members, Kevin and Gina, posted of their BodiSpa massager, The Almighty. I thought to myself, wow, wouldn’t that be a nice to have. I loved the idea of a massager that had both a warming and cooling capability. Then I reconsidered my envy. I couldn’t handle such a big and heavy massager. Heck, nowadays I sometimes have a difficult time maneuvering my trusty Hitachi.  Sometimes I simply don’t have the strength.

However my new more diminutive massager, The Ultimate, is not only the perfect size for me, it is amazingly light. Despite being 10 1/2″ tall it weighs in at just over seven ounces. What a godsend. Now I can once again enjoy the power of a wand-type massager without the heft generally associated with those behemoths.

The thing is, when I first removed The Ultimate from its attractive box, I though to myself, oh dear, it’s so light, it can’t possibly deliver the intense vibrations I’m used to. Happily, I was wrong about that. This massager has two speeds and both deliver substantial vibration. I wonder how they packed so much power into such a handily handy thing.

Ultimate-Zoomed-inThe next best feature is The Ultimate has an adjustable head. It has an adjustment button three quarters up the handle that allows me to angle the vibrating head in three different positions. This is such a brilliant feature that, now that I’m used to it, I wonder how I ever lived without. No more struggling to get the vibe precisely where I want it. What a treat!

The Ultimate is also cordless. That’s right it’s rechargeable. It’s like BodiSpa read my mind. Even in my healthy days, I used to hate being tethered to an outlet. My trusty Hitachi is grand, but I would inevitably get all tangled in the cord or move to a position beyond the cord’s reach.

The controls are in the handle. The Ultimate has an easy to use slide control with three positions — off, low and high. The traditional shaped head is made of latex-free, nonporous, phthalate-free, and hypoallergenic silicone. It features four different surfaces — ribbed, nubby, smooth and bumpy. And if that weren’t enough the head flexes for even more comfort.

I mentioned earlier that my libido isn’t what it used to be, but The Ultimate isn’t only for self-pleasuring, it massages away my cares and woes and aches and pains, which I seem to have more and more of these days, in the most efficient manner.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

Too pooped to pop

Name: Djon
Gender: Male
Age: 54
Location:
I’m a 54-year-old man, who 3 years ago managed to finally come out and live the life I so desperately longed for all my life. My question — is there a biological clock in men like the issues women have to deal with in menopause. During the last years of my marriage there was no sex life other than with myself. Now I’m living a fantastic life, with a great man who I love very much. I know there is more to life than sex but now that I’m finally able to express myself physically with a man my ability to perform is just not working.

I’ve tried Viagra and such years ago. They used to work in maintaining an erection, it was just by myself, but I always had fun. The headache’s and discomforts from the meds bring up the question — do I really want to take this?

But now the med’s don’t even help, and as for my libido it suffers with my lack of ability. I’ve been tested for testosterone levels and they say I’m right where I should be at for my age. I’ve seen two doctors about the issue and when they find out my partner’s sex they don’t want to deal with it and seem to just pass it off as an age thing.

I’m in fairly decent good shape, I exercise 3 – 4 days a week at the gym, can you send me any advice on a path to take.

A little frustrated: Djon

A little frustrated? Holy cow, darlin’, you sound a lot frustrated. I don’t blame ya. You finally find what’s been missing throughout your whole life only to discover that your plumbing is now givin’ out on you. Ain’t that a bitch! And before I continue I want to tell you and all the other alternative lifestyle people in my audience, don’t settle for a sex-negative physician no matter what. Dion, find yourself a sex-positive doctor that will look beyond your choice of partner and give you the respect you deserve! Damn, I hate shit like that.

andropause2258You raise an interesting question about the aging process when you ask if men experience something similar to menopause in women. The short answer is — yeah, you betcha! In fact, it even has a name; andropause.  I’ve written and spoken extensively about this very subject. Here’s what I want you to do. Look for the CATEGORIES section in the sidebar, look for the category — AGING. There you will find everything I’ve written and said about Andropause, and Sex and Aging.

You’ll find a whole lot more information there than I can put together for you in this posting. However, I can offer you an overview. It’s only been recently that the medical industry has started to pay attention to the impact changing hormonal levels have on the male mind and body. Most often andropause is misdiagnosed as depression and treated with an antidepressant. WRONG!

Every man will experience a decrease testosterone, the “male” hormone, as he ages. This decline is gradual, often spanning ten to fifteen years on average. While the gradual decrease of testosterone does not display the profound effects that menopause does, the end results are similar.

And listen, when a physician says that your testosterone level falls within an acceptable range, he/she isn’t telling you much. Let’s just say you had an elevated level of testosterone all your life, till now. Let’s say that you now register on the lower end of “acceptable”. That would mean that you’ve had a significant loss in testosterone. But your doctor wouldn’t know that, because he has no baseline for your normal testosterone level to begin with.andropause

There is no doubt that a man’s sexual response changes with advancing age and the decrease of testosterone. Sexual urges diminish, erections are harder to come by, they’re not as rigid, there’s less jizz shot with less oomph. And our refractory period (or interval) between erections is more pronounced too.

Andropausal men might want to consider Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). Just know that most medical professionals, like yours, Dion, resist testosterone therapy. Some mistakenly link Testosterone Replacement Therapy with prostate cancer. Even though recent evidence shows prostatic disease is estrogen-dependent rather than testosterone-dependent. I encourage you to be fully informed about TRT before you approach your doctor, your new sex positive doctor, because the best medicine is practiced collaboratively — by you and your doctor.

Finally, getting the lead back in your pencil, so to speak, may simply be an issue of taking more time with arousal play. Don’t expect to go from zero to 60 in a matter of seconds like you once did. Also, use a cockring.  But most of all, fuckin’ relax, why don’t cha already. Your anxiety is short-circuiting your wood, my friend. And only you can stop that.

Good luck

Never too old

Hey sex fans!

Before we get to today’s Q&A, I have two announcements. First, allow me to introduce you to my new Tumblr site: SEx AdViCe wITH An EDGe. It’s deliciously smutty, don’t cha know. Second, podcasts will resume this coming Monday with a remarkable guest, erotic filmmaker, Kyle Henry.

Alrighty, now to my correspondent.

Name: Macwinhar
Gender: Male (I’m gonna guess)
Age:
Location:
DR. DICK, We have been together almost 25 years. I feel like we need to spice it up. He has had some health issues with knee replacements. He feels he is not a good top any longer. But for me is, that is not the issue. It is not about the topping as is about the intimacy. I am not sure what to do? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sexual boredom often sets in to long-term relationships. And the health issues that accompany the aging process can also throw a wrench in the sexual works, so to speak. These challenges can either be an opportunity for some creative problem solving or they can completely extinguish sexual interest all together.andropause3

I’m disappointed in you, sir! You suggest in your message that butt fuckin’ is the only sexual expression open to you fellas. Surely, you can be a bit more resourceful than that. Have you taken the time to check in with your partner lately to inquire about his sexual needs and desires? If not, I suggest you begin the rehabilitation of your sexual mojo there.

Let me ask you a few pointed questions. Could you guys invite a third party to join you as a periodic sexual playmate? Ya know what they say; “Twosies beat onesies, but nothing be threes.”

How about a little role-playing, a new sex toy, or something kinky, maybe some BDSM perhaps. It’s easy to lose interest in sex when the play is boring, repetitive and ho-hum.

Here’s what I want you guys to do, and I do mean both of you. I want you to mozie on over to my online sex emporium and pick out something new and interesting. Look for the MY STOCKROOM banner in the sidebar for access to this great resource. I want you to pick something for him and I want him to pick something for you.

sexy daddiesI’ve put together a dazzling array of products that will liven up even the most humdrum sex life. Pay particular attention to the COUPLES section of My Stockroom. You’ll find loads of interesting things for couples of every stripe.

Still not sure what to buy? Take a look at my ever so popular adult product review site, Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Reviews.

There are several sex manuals available in MY STOCKROOM, and even more elsewhere online. You could consult one of them for ideas if you can’t tap into your own god-given queer creativity.

Just in case this hasn’t crossed your mind, us men folk go through physiological and hormonal changes in midlife, just like women do. There’s even a name for it — andropause — the male menopause as it were. http://www.drdicksextoyreviews.com/ As we age, both women and men need more time and stimulation to get aroused. So keep that in mind as you shop for your new sexual accessories. Look for things that will enhance and extend the arousal phase of sex play.sexy daddies 02

Increased focus on sensuality, intimacy, and communication will help a sexual relationship stay rich and rewarding even well into one’s senior years. If you’re not talking to you partner about the issues as they arise; you are missing an opportunity to course-correct at the most beneficial time, while the issue is front and center. Need some help communicating? Why not connect with a sex-positive therapist in your area for a little refresher course.

If your old man is avoiding butt fucking because of his knees, you guys might consider trying a new position, one that won’t involve him being on his knees. Look for my tutorial on sex positions: Basic Sexual Positions For One And All! And if that don’t solve your problem, there are still many ways of expressing his ardor that don’t involve his knees. How about some sensual massage, erotic bondage, or some good old-fashioned mutual masturbation with a swell new sex toy like the Fleshlight?

Remember sex oughta be an adventure even for an old “married” couple like you guys. If you don’t take all the opportunities to make things adventurous as they present themselves, you will find that these opportunities will simply vanish. And you’ll be shit out of luck then, darlin’.

Good Luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

First Week of Autumn 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #347 — 09/24/12

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Hey sex fans,

It’s time for another Q&A show. This time around, I have a really great bunch of correspondents who share their sex and relationship concerns with us. And I go out of my way to make my responses informative, enriching and maybe even a little entertaining.

  • Joy is unhappy because her BF is into the meth and now their sex life is in the toilet.
  • AH said something really terrible to his GF while he was drunk, now he’s paying the price.
  • Then I riff on a handful of effective communication techniques.
  • Reba says her 6-year-old son is a nancy-boy. I put her straight and tell her to visit this site.
  • Jackson got himself a dose of the clap, and now he has to tell all his lady friends.
  • Tammy wants some help with greening her sex life.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Dribble instead of shoot

Name: Jon
Gender: Male
Age: 65
Location: Surrey, B,C, Canada
Dear Dr Dick, I’m on Avodart because of my high PSA reading, as a result my sperm count is now down to zero. I understand it’s the drug’s side effect, is this reversible? I haven’t totally lost interest in sex and still jerk off from time to time. I realize that I need to make adjustments (e.g. becoming a total bottom) and find other body contact pleasures. I’m an attractive Asian and still get lots of attention in Vancouver’s baths. Another recurring menopausal problem I have are hot flashes when sleeping, how long do I put up with it? Love your website! Is Richard Wagner your real name?
Yours, Jon

Thanks for your kind words, Jon. Yes, Richard Wagner is my real name.

To understand your question about the side effects of Avodart; I need to ask you a question. Are you sure you are talking about sperm count? Avodart is a prostate directed medication for men with a high PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) reading. It has nothing to do with your testicles, which produce your sperm. And how would you know about your sperm count in the first place?

I think you may be speaking about the diminished amount of spooge (ejaculate) you produce while on the drug. That would make much more sense than a depleted sperm count. Because your prostate is responsible, in large part, for the amount of jizz you produce. And since the drug shrinks your prostate, it’s completely understandable that less cum would be an unfortunate side effect of the drug. Is it reversible? I suppose if you stopped taking the drug your prostate might regain its previous vigor, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. Your age may have a lot to do with this too, but I’ll get to that in a minute.

You probably are also experiencing erection problems on this drug too, right? Some of that is age related, of course. But one of the more unpleasant side effects of this, or any other medication that targets one’s prostate, is the loss of libido and wood. A nice cockring might be helpful. Have you tried one of those little buggers? They also look real nice in the bathhouse, don’t cha know.

You also ask about another recurring menopausal problem — hot flashes. Allow me to help you with some of your vocabulary. Menopause is a female thing. Andropause is the male equivalent. Like menopause, andropause is a result of a decrease in hormone levels, testosterone and androgen in our case, as we age.

Yeah, hot flashes are sure enough a good sign that one is in the throws of andropause. They often disappear on their own. But some people advocate hormone replacement therapy for us older dudes. This is very controversial, however. Many in the medical industry believe the hormone replacement, particularly testosterone, increases the risk of prostate cancer. Personally, I don’t believe this is true. I am unaware of any studies that actually make that correlation. On the other hand, living with diminished hormone levels clearly has some very unpleasant side effects, like the ones you are experiencing.

In the final analysis, each of us needs to make up his own mind about this, weighing all the pros and cons.

Good luck

The Summer Solstice 2012 Q&A Show — Podcast #337 — 06/18/12

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Hey sex fans,

Happy Solstice everyone! Well, actually solstice isn’t until Wednesday, but who’s quibbling. Damn, this year is flying by. It seems like it was only a couple of weeks ago that we were welcoming spring. And, guess what? I just did the math; this is my 6th Summer Solstice podcast. Holy COW!

In honor of this milestone I have a delectable Q&A show in store for you today. We will be hearing a bunch of very interesting questions from the sexually worrisome, each will surely amaze and entertain. And I think we’ll have just enough time to do some SEX SCIENCE too. Stick around, sex fans, this is gonna be great!

  • William is using AndroGel for low “T”. Will it get his dick to grow?
  • Craig was snooping in his wife’s gym bag and found something interesting.
  • Chris and I have a lengthy exchange about his deep-seeded sexual conflicts.
  • Paula asks for my advice about purchasing a prostate massager for her hubby.
  • Gerard has blood in his semen.
  • Jenny asks if all fetuses start out as female. This triggers a SEX SCIENCE tutorial.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

My New Book

Dear friends and colleagues

I am pleased to announce the publication of my new book The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying: Enhancing The End Of Life.

(Click on the book art below for a synopsis and to purchase the book.)

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying is specifically designed for terminally ill, chronically ill, elder, and dying people from all walks of life. But concerned family and friends, healing and helping professionals, lawyers, clergy, teachers, students, and those grieving a death will also benefit from reading the book.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying is a workbook that offers readers a unique group/seminar format. Readers participate in a virtual on-the-page support group consisting of ten other participants. Together members of the group help each other liberate themselves from the emotional, cultural, and practical problems that accompany dying in our modern age.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying helps readers dispel the myth that they are incapable of taking charge during the final season of life. Readers face the prospect of life’s end within a framework of honesty, activity, alliance, support, and humor. And most importantly readers learn these lessons in the art of dying and living from the best possible teachers, other sick, elder, and dying people.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying engages readers with a multitude of life situations and moral dilemmas that arise as they and their group partners face their mortality head on.

The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying offers readers a way to share coping strategies, participate in meaningful dialogue, and take advantage of professional information tailored to their specific needs. Topics include spirituality, sexuality and intimacy, legal concerns, final stages, and assisted dying. The book does not take an advocacy position on any of these topics. It does, however, advocate for the holistic self-determination of sick, elder, and dying people, which can only be achieved when they have adequate information.

Facing your mortality with the kind of support The Amateur’s Guide To Death And Dying offers does not eliminate the pain and poignancy of separation. Rather it involves confidently facing these things and living through them to the end.

This innovative workbook on death and dying is now available on Amazon and in bookstores. I welcome your thoughts, comments, and reviews.

All the best,
Richard

Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS
richard@theamateursguide.com
Our website: The AmateursGuide.com
Join us on Facebook
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Buy the book HERE!

More SEX WISDOM With Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene — Podcast #327 — 04/04/12

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Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

Renowned sexologist and surrogate partner therapist, Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene is back with us today to dispense more of her signature SEX WISDOM. And if you thought last week’s show was marvelous, as so many of you did, you’re gonna love today’s show even more.

But wait; you didn’t miss Part 1 of our conversation, did you? Well not to worry if you did, because you will find it and all of my shows in the podcast archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the site’s search function in the header, type in podcast #326 and Voilà! But don’t forget to use the #sign when you do your search.

Cheryl and I discuss:

  • The blind spots some therapists have regarding surrogate partner therapy;
  • IPSA surrogate training;
  • Recommending this work to others;
  • What she looks for in others considering a career as a surrogate partner;
  • Sex positions;
  • Sexual compulsions and obsessions;
  • Sex toys;
  • Keeping things interesting for couples in long-term relationships;
  • Who inspires her and her sexual heroes;
  • Advice for the aspiring sexologist.

 

Cheryl invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE and her noteworthy blog HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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SEX WISDOM With Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene — Podcast #326 — 03/28/12

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Hello sex fans! Welcome back.

Holy cow, do I have a fantastic show in store for you today. Despite the numerous remarkable guests that have appeared on this the SEX WISDOM series, there’s no one who can lay a hand on today’s guest. I’m so pleased to welcome my good friend, my trusted colleague and my bosom buddy for nearly 20 years, the amazing Dr Cheryl Cohen Greene. I can’t wait for you to meet her, because I know you will love her as much as I do.

Cheryl is a fellow sexologist, however her career path has been significantly different than mine. She is certified surrogate partner, don’t cha know. And she’s been working as such for 38 years. She is renowned in her field, so much so that she and one of her former clients are the subjects of a major motion picture, staring John Hawkes, Helen Hunt and William H. Macy, which comes out later this year. You can be certain that I will press Cheryl for all the juicy details.

Cheryl and I discuss:

  • How we met;
  • Her lengthy career;
  • The shift from sex surrogate to surrogate partner;
  • Her friend and colleague Shai Rotem;
  • Common issues she sees in her practice;
  • Role modeling good relationships;
  • Her former client, poet and journalist, Mark O’Brian;
  • Being at Sundance for the movie premiere;
  • Surrogate as sex worker;
  • The legality of surrogate partner work;
  • Surrogate partner training;
  • How prospective clients find her.

Cheryl invites you to visit her on her site HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE and her noteworthy blog HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Hot Plus Size Lingerie.
Plus Size Lingerie