By Almara Abgarian
It’s going to be a quiet Friday night. The coronavirus lockdown has officially begun, pubs, restaurants, gyms and other public spaces have to close up shop for the forseeable future.
So, what can you spend the rest of the weekend doing?
You already know what we’re going to say, but let’s say it anyway: having sex.
If you’re self-isolating with someone else, this is prime opportunity to jump each other’s bones and give yourselves a nice hit of dopamine and endorphins (the ‘happy hormones’) at the same time.
But the lockdown could, unfortunately, go on for quite a while.
So, to keep your sex life from becoming stale, we ask sex experts to share their top tips for how to keep things spicy in the bedroom.
Think outside the box (bedroom)
‘Don’t restrict yourself to the bed, be creative in your space,’ says Asa Baav, sex expert and founder of Tailor Matched.
‘Think up against the wall, up against a mirror, the shower, kitchen tops and for those of you who want to be more risqué, use your balcony [with caution] or up against the window.’
Just, you know, not outside.
Mutual masturbation
Interestingly, mutual masturbation has been predicted to be one of the big sexual trends to define the next generation (and apparently, soon to beat out penetrative sex).
Asa says: ‘Masturbating with a partner helps you learn about each other’s bodies and a great way to show them exactly how they like to be stroked.’
An added bonus to mutual masturbation is that you’re effectively teasing each other, which could add to the eventual climax.
Want to take it up a notch? Masturbate in turns, and watch each other as you do.
Don’t have sex
Let us, or rather, Lelo’s sex expert Kate Moyles, explain.
‘Take the time to explore a different area of self-development, for example sex and sexuality,’ she tell us.
‘The common misunderstanding is that changing your sex life all has to happen in the bedroom or with a partner.
‘But exploring new podcasts, Ted Talks, books, online courses and workbooks can really help you to expand your thinking and open up your perspective and learning when it comes to sex.’
Indulge in sensory play
Asa says: ‘Use hot and cold play, think ice cubes and wax candles and massage oil.
‘Play with the sensation of soft and rough textures to entice your senses.’
If you didn’t happen to pick up any oils or sensory lubes during the stockpiling shop, don’t worry.
Firstly, sex toy sites still deliver – but more importantly, you can find items in your home. Think feathers (from a pillow, perhaps), the aforementioned ice cubes or just run your tongue up and down your partner’s body.
You can also blindfold them to heighten other senses and venture into BDSM, if you fancy it (spanking).
‘Indulge in a bit of light bondage (tying your partner’s hands or legs),’ says Duchess Iphie, a relationship, sex and intimacy coach, and the founder of Duchess Secrets.
‘This is about power and as long as there is consent and a safe word, you can have fun letting your partner have full control of your arousal, desires and orgasms.’
Get the toys out
Do you have a vibrator at home? Get it out during sex and crank up the heat.
‘If you have toys with apps that you can choose vibrations – get your partner to be in a separate room and try different vibrations and intensities from “afar”- give them the control,’ says Dominnique Karetsos, founder of The Intimology Institute, the school for sexual wellness.
‘Like the game Marco Polo – only you know you’re closer by the sound of moans of ecstasy.’
Try a new sex position
Duchess also shares some new positions for couples try, such as:
- The sea turtle: One person curls their legs up and the other enters from a kneeling position (penis or strap-on required). Use a pillow to raise the recipient’s lower back, so their partner can stroke their body at the same time.
- The upside-down cake: It’s super-easy. Just find a stable surface, like a table, where one person lies down flat on their back on something that supports their weight, while the other person, er, thrusts.
- The ease-in: Lay on your back comfortably while the other person eases in backwards. Couples can enjoy varying the angle of penetration to stimulate different sensations, or throw in a toy for some extra vibrations.
Give your partner an intimate massage
Now that you have more time on your hands, why not use them? (The hands, that is).
Think beyond genitals to other erogenous zones such as ear lobes, the small of the back, the inner wrist, the armpits and behind the knee. Run your fingers down your partner’s body and see which touches, and which areas, make their body react.
‘Massage of feet, scratch their back and don’t forget to stroke the whole body as a way of finding each other’s erogenous zones,’ says Asa.
Don’t have any massage oil? Try olive oil – it’s great for the skin (but beware, it might stain your sheets).
Embrace the dirty talk
If you’ve always dreamed of someone putting you across their lap and spanking you, trying a new sexual position or engaging in some role play, maybe the first step would be to talk to your partner about your fantasies.
Asa says: ‘A helpful way to start a conversation about your turn-ons, fantasies, and boundaries, is making a “yes/no/maybe” list with your partner for the night event, what do feel like today?
‘Write down any sexual acts that come to mind, and then both you and your partner take turns marking each as a yes, no, or maybe.
‘This can be a sexy and fun way to get to know each other better and explore things you may not have considered before.’
Single? Keep your eye out for our sexy guide to self-isolating solo.
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