If you have a low sex drive – or no sex drive – you might feel like you’re alone.
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[S]ex is everywhere, from raunchy song lyrics to sexy advertising campaigns, everyone’s doing it, right?
Well, not quite.
You’re not on your own if your desire for sex is pretty much non-existent.
In fact, most men and women will experience a low sex drive at some point in their lives.
Hyposexuality, explains sex and relationship therapist Lianne Young, is a recognised condition where a person has no interest in engaging in sexual intercourse and sexual play.
‘It is best explained as a lack of sexual libido in both men and women.
‘Sometimes people just stop having sex or stop doing their favourite sexual things.
‘Some times they even stop masturbating all together because of a lack of desire.
‘Low sex drive comes under the name hyposexuality as it is linked to emotional and physical connections.
‘However, If you have desire but not arousal this could be down to a medical condition or something you are taking, and if you have no desire this could be down to stress, depression or another set of medical conditions.
‘Therefore it is very important to understand the difference between arousal and desire.’
However, hyposexuality is not to be confused with Hypersexuality, commonly referred to as sex addiction, a disorder where the constant need for sex can have a detrimental effect on home and work life.
Lianne explained: ‘The most obvious sign that you suffer from hyposexuality is the lack of desire to want sex and a lack of sexual arousal.
‘Desire for sex is an emotional and psychological and mental process and it’s important to understand that the two are different, especially with couples as people need to understand that they don’t always go together.
‘It’s possible to feel desire and your body cannot act on the desire.’
At different stages, it is normal to lose a desire for sex – after having a baby, during menopause and at times of stress are just some times when sexual desire drops.
Medication can sometimes have an effect as well as other mental health issues.
‘Talking to your doctor at the first sign can help explain what the cause for your low libido,’ explains Lianne.
‘When it comes to sexuality there are a lot of ways in which health impacts people’s sexual functioning, sexual feelings, sexual behaviours and sexual decision-making and they should not be ignored.
‘There are going to be questions and issues that naturally arise during our lives concerning sex and they should be spoken about for both one’s mental and physical health.’
‘Hyposexuality can be treated with medicine and counselling.
‘Medications can be the cause of some sexual issues, for some people they can prevent arousal or interfere with the orgasm or it has a significant impact on sexual functioning by lowering the libido.
‘It can be treated as easy as removing something from your diet.’
But the first step is making sure you speak to your GP.
‘Most people will suffer from a decreased libido at some time in their lives.
‘People should not be embarrassed about having hyposexuality as it could be down to something as simple as your medication.
‘Sex is a normal activity in life so if something feels different then you should seek help to find out the root cause of the problem, sex is as normal as eating and should be openly spoken about.
‘Unfortunately sex is sometimes not openly discussed and this stops people wanting to talk about its effect with their partner.
‘Sometimes people just stop having sex, or stop doing their favorite sexual things when there is no need.
‘By recognising it as something everyone goes through in life this will help others talk to their doctors when it happens to them.’
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