Big Bowel Blues

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Name: Perth Guy
Gender:
Age: 50
Location: Perth Australia
Hey Dr Dick,
I am going to have surgery to fix Diverticular Disease by removal of the sigmoid colon, which may result in a temp or perm stoma (Colostomy). If it’s a permanent colostomy bag I know they basically remove your rectum, so no more anal sex. If it’s a temp stoma/colostomy bag can you still have anal sex? (whilst you rectum is “disconnected from the colon) If they are able to reverse it later and connect the transverse colon to the rectum is it still possible to have anal sex? I don’t know who to ask this very strange question – its not a question you can ask around ” do you have a colostomy – do you have anal sex?”

Hey thanks for your message, Perth Guy. Sorry to hear you’re feeling poorly. For those of us unfamiliar with diverticular (say: die-ver-tick-yoo-ler) disease, it affects the large intestine, or colon. It’s caused by small pouches that form, usually on the wall of the last part of the large intestine — the sigmoid colon. These pouches are called diverticula, don’t ‘cha know.

The terms ostomy and stoma are general descriptive terms that are often used interchangeably though they have different meanings. An ostomy refers to the surgically created opening in the body for the discharge of body wastes. A stoma is the actual end of the small or large bowel that is arranged to protrude through the abdominal wall.

I know it’s difficult to find helpful information about sexual concerns, like butt fucking, when facing a radical and disfiguring medical procedure like a colostomy. Our culture has such difficulty talking about sex even as it applies to healthy folks, it’s no wonder we fail those of us who are sick, maimed, or disabled. I did, however, find a resource for you, Colostomy Pen Pals. http://www.ostomy.evansville.net/ocncolostomy.htm

I suspect that you’ll not readily find the specific information about anal sex that you are looking for on that site. But here’s where you can do yourself and all your fellow ostomy patients a good turn. I want you to march right over to Colostomy Pen Pals and any other ostomy resource you might find online and just come out with it. Just like you did when you wrote to me. You know that if you have a concern about anal sex post surgery, there are a shit-load of others (you should pardon my pun) out there who share your concern and interest and may have first-hand information to share.

Probably, there a lot of other folks who are too timid to ask or share about this concern. So instead of stewing in your isolation and lack of information, why not take the initiative and break open the topic yourself. If you’re gonna wait around for someone else to broach the issue, when you won’t, you’re gonna die waiting, my friend.

And if you think the information you are looking for will come from the medical industry, you really have to wake up and smell the coffee, my friend. The best resource you’re gonna find is gonna be others in the ostomy community. Those folks, who are similarly challenged as you, will be the front line of the information you seek. But like I said, if you fail to put out there what you want, you can be sure no one is gonna spoon feed it to you.

So while it is true what you say: “its not a question you can ask around to the general public do you have a colostomy – do you have anal sex?” It is a very appropriate question to be asking the ostomy community. And if you find resistance in that community for bringing this pressing sexual concern there, stand your ground, darlin’!

And just so you don’t think I’m ducking the question, my experience with ostomy patients suggest that it may very well be more of a question of wanting to have anal sex post surgery, than the ability to do so. I guess you’re just gonna have to wait and see for yourself. Keep me posted and I’ll keep our audience posted on this too.

Good luck

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