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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and we welcome back Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada, for today’s review. She’s here with another LELO product.

Tiani by LELO —— $145.24

Jada
I used to have an almost reverential admiration for the LELO brand. The Dr Dick Review Crew has reviewed numerous products from their line. You can see all our reviews HERE!  Anyway, way back when, LELO was on the vanguard of exceptional pleasure products. But something tells me they are slipping farther and farther off the cutting edge.

Nowadays, there are more than a few companies that are producing remarkable toys. The Leaf brand jumps immediately to mind.  And most of these companies also have a social conscience, at least in terms of their packaging and the like, which leaves LELO in the dust.

Take today’s product, the Tiani, as an example of what I am talking about. I was delighted I was asked to review this product and I wanted to like it way more than I could. So you have to know that I had a decidedly positive inclination toward the Tiani before I actually put it to the test.

Where to start? For all intents and purposes, the Tiani, is LELO’s answer to (knock-off of) the WE-Vibe 3.  And it’s not all that of successful effort. I own a WE-Vibe 3, so I can’t help making the comparison.

The Tiani, like the WE-Vibe 3 is a vibe you can insert into your vagina and “wear” while you have intercourse. There are two motors — one in the insertable end, and one in other end, which is intended for clitoral stimulation. It, like its competition, comes with a remote control device. The LELO model is supposed to be sensitive to motion; every movement you or your partner makes as you/he/she holds the remote is converted to a vibration. Problem is this can lead to very intense or very weak vibrations at the wrong times. And herein lies most of the problem. The remote is supposed to be effective up to 20 feet, but it was inconsistent, at best, even at even 2 feet. And often it simply shuts off for no apparent reason at all. Well you can imagine how frustrating that is.

Another problem with the Tiani is its design. It does not stay in place. The inserted end of the vibe, which is supposed to stimulate my G-spot, doesn’t, or it didn’t for me. It’s too damned short.

On the plus side; the Tiani, is crafted from beautiful, silky silicone. But the silkiness of the silicone is part of the problem; this is what makes the toy slip out of place. It is, however, waterproof, which is one of the features I enjoyed the most.

Like all fine silicone toys, you can only use a water-based lube with this toy. But you know that already, huh? Clean up is easy with mild soap and warm water. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

While the Tiani itself is rechargeable, the remote is not. It requires 2-AAA batteries. That’s dumb! In its favor, the vibe’s motors are pretty powerful and fairly quiet. The unit charges discreetly and it has a travel lock too.

Take care to store the vibe and its remote control separately. I didn’t and that was a mistake. The silicone on the vibe puffed up and began to peel. Apparently there was some reaction between the controller and the vibe itself.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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Looking for Mr Right

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Name: Eric
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Location: New Jersey
I’m 25, openly gay, and have never been in a relationship. I consider myself intellectual & attractive, with a great sense of humor–many people that I meet are amazed that I’m not taken. I tend to be hyper-analytic and super-honest, neither of which has gotten me very far in my dating life. I’m very self-aware and work hard at self-improvement and reinvention. I just can’t seem to find quality men! I don’t care for the gay scene, and I hate the depersonalizing nature of many gay online dating sites. All too often, I feel frustrated with being single, and I end up having a random hookup just to be close to a guy. Do you have any advice? I seem to be stuck in cycle of dating, disappointment, and reinvention. What can I do to meet Mr. Right?

I do have some advice, pup. I hope you will take it to heart. My first suggestion is that you jettison the whole Mr. Right concept. My experience tells me that most folks who are stymied in their search for a partner have too precise a mental picture of his/her ideal mate. This “knight in shinning armor” concept rarely translates very well into the real world. No one is perfect; all humans have flaws that those who love them learn to overlook. Some people, both women and men, gay and straight, have such a specific script of the person they are looking to nest with that they dismiss out of hand loads of plausible potential prospects, which is a huge mistake.

For example, I had a client in San Francisco, a straight guy. He wasn’t particularly handsome, in fact he was kinda dumpy, but he was a genuinely sweet man with lots to offer a mate. He desperately wanted to find the woman of his dreams. Unfortunately, he scripted himself right out of the market. His ideal mate had to be a redhead…a real redhead, if you know what I mean. He also insisted that the woman have a big set of knockers. I take it that he developed this script after years and years of consuming big titty porn. But wherever it came from it was his undoing.

At any rate, my client would dismiss out of hand, any woman who didn’t fit this very specific profile. And his dating life was a disaster. I had to help him understand that he narrowed the pool of potential candidates till it virtually evaporated. I asked him, “How many natural redheads do you suppose there are out there in the Bay Area? Of these, how many are single? Of these, how many have a monster rack on ‘em? Of these, how many would fall for a guy like you?” It was bitter medicine, but it was the dose of reality he desperately needed.

You, Eric, may be suffering from a similar condition. I can’t really say for sure from what you write. What I can say with some confidence is that you’re not particularly accommodating when it comes to the foibles of others. Look how you describe yourself — “hyper-analytic and super-honest”. Is that just a easy way of saying you are really overly critical and downright bitchy? Maybe, just maybe that’s how others perceive you. And that ain’t gonna land you a man no how!

You say you can’t find quality men. Again, that’s more of a comment about you than the number of quality men out there. Maybe all the quality men find you way too prickly to get close to. Your frustration may even make you edgier. And sometimes frustration morphs into desperation and there’s nothing more unattractive than that. You may be inadvertently hanging a big sign around your neck that reads: “Steer Clear, Trouble Ahead!”

Relationships are curious things. They almost never happen to someone who is desperate for one. Or if the desperate person actually finds a relationship, inevitably it’ll be a disaster. And here’s a tip: casual hook ups for sex are fine and dandy for what they are. They relieve sexual tension and not a great deal more. I advise you not to expect them to magically transform into a long-term relationship. That only happens in fairytales.

OK then, what might you do? I suggest that you simply cease the pursuit of a mate and let him find you. That’s right, just let it go. Instead of investing all that energy in pursuing that illusive relationship, focus your attention on bettering yourself and the world around you. You apparently already know how to do this since you say you work hard at self-improvement and reinvention. Wonderful! But how do you go about this self-improvement and reinvention? Is yours a solitary endeavor, or might you join others while making this happen? Do you take classes? Enjoy the arts? Do you read? Cook? Are you an outdoorsy kinda lad? Are you of service to others? Do you volunteer? Do you like pets, gardening or crafts? Are you political? Are you athletic? Do you travel?

If you do any of these things you will automatically find yourself surrounded by like-minded humans of every stripe. Listen darlin’, just because you’re queer that doesn’t mean you are restricted to the gay scene. There’s no need for a ghetto mentality in this day and age. Instead of slumming on those tiresome gay online dating sites. Look elsewhere for your fulfillment. You are more likely to encounter people who share your values if you spend your time on online at sites that reflect your interests and there’s a zillion of them. Look for websites and forums that feature your interests and concerns. And unless it’s the American Nazi Party or the KKK, you’ll no doubt find other homos who will broaden your social network. And the larger your social network, the more likely you will encounter a soul mate.

Finally, if you don’t find precisely what you are looking for online, then it’s up to you to make it happen on your own. I suggest that turn to a site like craigslist and post there. Start a club, or a discussion group. Initiate a gathering of like-minded people for an outing or an endeavor. Whatever you do direct your energies outward. Stop with the navel gazing already. You are in the prime of your life, and the world is your oyster. But first you’re gonna have to get of your pity pot.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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Vatican Roulette

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Name: Ricardo
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Location: Miami
I have understood that there is a certain period while women have their period that they can have unprotected sex without risk of getting pregnant, is this true? And if it is when is this period? After or before the PMS? And how long does it last? Thanks.

Nope, darlin’, there’s no such thing as a 100% foolproof, absolutely certain period in a woman’s menstrual cycle that she can have unprotected sex without the risk of gettin’ pregnant. This is a myth, and a mighty risky myth at that. If you’re considering this practice as an effective means of birth control, you’re playing Russian Roulette, or better Vatican Roulette, with your dick.

Ok so here’s the low-down on the rhythm method also known as “fertility awareness.” It is not a reliable way to prevent pregnancy for most people. Over 25% of couples that rely on the rhythm method to prevent pregnancy will accidentally conceive. Ya see, one has to be a freakin’ rocket scientist to use the rhythm method correctly and consistently. A woman is generally infertile around 10 days a month. Make one slight miscalculation on when that infertile period begins and you gonna be toast.

The rhythm method is dependent on the couple not have sex around the time of ovulation. But the trick is accurately determining precisely when ovulation happens. Couples can try to track this by using a calendar and a thermometer to measure body temperature. A woman’s temperature will rise a coupe of degrees just before ovulation. But very few women are as regular as clockwork. And lots of things, like stress, prescription medications, even antihistamines can throw a woman’s cycle of by a day or two. The fertile period around ovulation lasts 6 to 12 days. So absolutely no unprotected fucking during this period.

Even when used perfectly, the rhythm method is a highly ineffective means of avoiding a pregnancy. That’s because the methods formula makes several assumptions that are not always true. Sure, one can keep track of past menstrual cycles to predict the length of future cycles. However, the length of the pre-ovulatory phase can vary significantly, depending on a woman’s over all health. Like if for some reason she ovulates early, this will fuck up the rhythm method formula big time. The formula will indicate she is still infertile, when actually she is quite fertile. Look out!

The rhythm method also assumes that all vaginal bleeding is true menstruation. But that’s simply not the case. If you incorrectly identify the onset of menstruation, even by one day, you’ll render your calculations inaccurate. Again, you will be toast, pup.

And consider this, sperm can live in a woman’s reproductive system for up to 7 days. And fertilization may occur even days after fucking. I mean with risks like these, wouldn’t it be safer and easier just to slip on a condom?

If by chance you are trying to reconcile your religious indoctrination (the rhythm method is the only means of family planning embraced by the Catholic Church) and your youthful libido, you may be playing with fire. In the final analysis, it’s not only your life that’s on the line here. Think about it; wear a rubber.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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More of The Erotic Mind of Shanna Germain & Kay Jaybee — Podcast #355 — 11/19/12

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Today’s show for The Erotic Mind series brings back Kay Jaybee and Shanna Germain.  These two marvelous authors are here again this week to continue the discussion we began last week, about edgy BDSM erotica, and why the good stuff is better for you than schlock.  And to prove it, Kay will treat us to a steamy reading from her work, Not Her Type. You won’t want to miss this, sex fans.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #354 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

KayShanna and I discuss:

  • The history of erotica;
  • A splash, like the 50 Shades Of Grey phenomenon, has happened before;
  • A predictable formula — female submissive with a male Dom;
  • The cultural and gender aspects of power play;
  • The divide between kink and BDSM;
  • The dangers inherent in labeling sexual behaviors;
  • Marketing kink and BDSM;
  • An author’s responsibility to get things right;
  • The emotional truth vis-à-vis the literal truth;
  • Does an author need to be a practitioner;
  • The availability issue;
  • Advice for the novice writer.

For more of Kay Jaybee visit her website HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

For more of Shanna Germain visit her website HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the book covers below for more information about these wonderful books.)

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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Learning the ropes

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Name: James
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Location: Alaska
I am gay. I still have trouble saying that because of my very conservative upbringing, but that is not what I need help with today. I had my first few sexual encounters the other week with this great understanding, older guy. When he was blowing me it felt great, however I wasn’t able to cum during the oral sex. Is this normal? And is there anything I can do to change that? Thank you so much for any help, and the chance to say something to someone about being gay. I don’t get to talk about issues in this genre because of the taboo-ness of the issue. Thanks a lot- James

Wow, sorry to hear you’re living in such a repressive environment, pup. I hope that changes for you soon. Just remember, change is gonna begin with you. The longer you put up with the repression the harder it will be to break its grip.

Coming out is rarely a breeze for anyone. This is especially true for those, like yourself, who were raised in a conservative home. But then throwing off the shackles of oppression, however they present themselves, will make you a much better person in the long run. Like the old saying goes; “If you allow someone to control your sexuality, you allow that person to control all of you.” So nothing reverses the repression quicker than exercising your sexuality on your own terms.

As to the oral sex question you raise, I’ve written a whole lot about that already. You might want to glance over to the sidebar and look for CATEGORIES pull down menu. Look for the main category — Sex Therapy. Then look for the subcategory — Ejaculation Concerns.You’ll find a load of written postings and podcasts.

The gist of what I’ve had to say about this is; it’s not uncommon for a guy not to get off with just a blowjob. This is particularly true for someone who is new to the whole hummer thing. There’s also the distinct possibility that the guy doin the blowin’ may not be a particularly talented cocksucker. It happens! It happens a lot, believe me.

That being said, there are things you can do to change this if that’s what you really want. First and foremost, you need to communicate with your partner on how he’s doing down there. Ya see most of us guys get real used to the feel of our hand on our wang while jerkin-off. After years of practice we get our stroke down to a science. We know exactly when to apply more pressure, or loosen our grip. We know exactly when to speed up the stroke and when to ease off. We know exactly when to yank on our balls or stick a finger in our ass and diddle our prostate. We know all of this because our body is giving us constant feedback all the time we’re playin’ with ourselves.

On the other hand, the cocksucker between our legs isn’t gettin that kind of immediate sensory feedback, so he’s not gonna know what to do when. That is, unless you tell him. And it’s really ok to give the guy a little direction. A talented cocksucker, of course, will already know how to ask you for feedback. After all, he’s new to your cock and his experience tells him that all cocks respond the same why to the same stimulus.

Another thing you can do is relax. There’s not a whole lot of “shoulds” when it comes to sex. So the more relaxed you are the more you will be able to enjoy the pleasure. If your mind is all busy with dumb shit like — oh my god, I’m not gettin off, what must he think of me? — then you’re not in the moment and the pleasure is wasted on you.

Finally, the best way to learn how to receive a good blowjob is to become a fabulous cocksucker yourself. Smokin’ you some fine pole is an art form. It’s way more than simply than rappin’ your lips around a bloke’s dick. The more you understand about superior cocksucking the better you’ll be at guiding your partners through the fine points of eatin’ you meat. So get out there and get some experience.

Not sure what to do when faced with a big beautiful baloney pony? Well, you’re in luck. Check out my sexual enrichment tutorial: So Ya Wanna Be A World-Class Cocksucker …OR HOW TO GIVE THE PERFECT BLOW JOB.

Good Luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

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The Erotic Mind of Shanna Germain and Kay Jaybee — Podcast #354 — 11/12/12

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey sex fans, welcome back.

Holy cow; do I have an exciting show in store for you today! I have not one, but two remarkably talented guests with me as we crank up yet another edition of The Erotic Mind series.

Why two guest instead of just one? Good question! It all started last summer. Shanna Germain wrote to me suggesting we do a show all about the 50 Shades Of Grey phenomenon. She suggested that we provide ya’ll with the antidote to this unfortunate publishing spectacle. Meanwhile, Kay Jaybee and I were having a similar email exchange. So I came up with the bright idea to have them both on the show at once.

So here we all are, ready to treat you to marvelous discussion of edgy BDSM erotica and why the good stuff is better for you than schlock. And Shanna will read from her work, Fool’s Gold, which will pretty much knock your socks off.

ShannaKay and I discuss:

  • What they’ve been up to since they were last on this show;
  • What we know about 50 Shades Of Grey, it’s author and publisher;
  • Why this thing was a run-away hit;
  • It’s impact on the popular culture in general and erotica writing in particular;
  • Being on the receiving end of bad reviews;
  • Behind the media’s role in stoking the phenomenon.

For more of Kay Jaybee visit her website HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

For more of Shanna Germain visit her website HERE! Find her on Facebook HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

(Click on the book covers below for more information about these wonderful books.)

         

         

 

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: The Perfect Fit Brand!

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Tunnel Of Love

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Hey sex fans!

It’s Product Review Friday and this week we have a review of yet another innovative product from the creative folks at Perfect Fit Brand.

This is our 3rd Perfect Fit Brand review and there are plenty more to come. To keep track of all our PFB reviews use the search function in the header of DrDickSexToyReviews.com, type in Perfect Fit Brand, and PRESTO!

Alrighty then, lets check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Mick & Chuck, to see what they’ve been up to.

Tunnel Plug — $44.95

Mick & Chuck
Mick: “’Wait a minute! Are you telling me someone’s gone and fiddled with one of the most basic sex toys ever? I hope to god they didn’t fuck it up.’ That was me on the telephone with Dr Dick when he asked if Chuck and I would be up for reviewing the revolutionary Tunnel Plug.”
Chuck: “I was like totally down with at least taking a look at it. But I was simply going on the other Perfect Fit Brand reviews posted here and I figured, how bad could it be? Besides, there are loads of different kinds of plugs out there.”
Mick: “Yeah, there is! But a plug’s a plug, right? And my thoughts were, well if it works why fix it? As fate would have it, all my worry was for nothing, because even though the Tunnel Plug is revolutionary, it still is very much a plug. It has all the features of the traditional design — the insertable part is a tapered cone or bulb shape, designed for easy insertion and giving you that all-filled-up feeling while it’s in place. The plug tapers more dramatically near the base into a notch. This allows your sphincter muscle to close down on the plug keeping it firmly in place. Finally the wide base keeps it from slipping inside your bum.”
Chuck: “Ok, so let’s tell everyone how the Tunnel Plug is different from every other butt plug we’ve ever see. Most of the butt plugs I’m familiar with are made of a solid material — glass, metal, wood, rubber, etc. You can’t have something really squishy, because you could never get it in your ass. The Tunnel Plug is firm, but flexible. It’s even got a little stretch to it. It’s made of a proprietary material called PFBlend. It stretches like TPR (Thermo Plastic Rubber), but it is safe and durable like silicone.”
Mick: “The next obvious difference between this plug and all the rest is the center is hallow. I know, why didn’t someone think of this sooner? It is the perfect convenience. Instead of just plugging your hole, you can open it too. The tunnel hole goes right through the core of the Tunnel Plug. So once I had the Tunnel Plug in my ass, I inserted a slim vibrating dildo in the center of the plug and I was happy as a pig in shit!”
Chuck: “It’s also ideal for keeping your hole open for a quick douche. The hose or nozzle fits right in the hollow center. And think of all the enema play fun you can have. You can insert a finger too. And if you have a little penlight flashlight you can shine a light in the very place where the sun don’t shine. I did this while the Tunnel Plug was in Mick’s ass. I mean, I had never seen the inside of a guy’s hole before. It’s kinda breath-taking actually.”
Mick: “Not to be undone by Chuck’s creativity, I decided to make the Tunnel Plug part of my Halloween costume this year. I found this faux-fur foxtail (Try saying that three times fast.) at a costume store here in town. I fastened it to a wooden dowel from the hardware store and inserted the dowel into the hallow center of the Tunnel Plug. It looked fantastic, if I have to say so myself.”
Chuck: “We need to submit that costume suggestion to the DIY site!”
Mick: “The point is, the Tunnel Plug allows you to be creative in your anal play. I decided that some sensation play might be nice. A trickle of chilled (not ice cold) water through the hallow center was both startling and amazing. What a unique feeling. The fact that the plug gives you this filled up sensation while allowing you to add another sensation is like WOW!”
Chuck: “The Tunnel Plug comes in two sizes — (Small/Medium): 3″ total length, 2.75″ insertable length, 2″ in width, and 6.25″ in circumference and (Medium/Large): 3.5″ total length, 3″ insertable length, 2.5″ in width, and 8″ in circumference.”
Mick: “You can use any type of lube you want wit the Tunnel Plug. And clean up is a snap. Because the PFBlend material is nonporous, everyday cleanup with a mild soap and hot water is fine. However, if you’re gonna share your toys sanitizing is highly recommended. You can drop the Tunnel Plug in a pot of boiling water for a couple minutes, then let it air dry. You can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY

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More Sex EDGE-U-cation with bendyogagirl — Podcast #353 — 11/07/12

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[Look for the podcast play button below.]

Hey, hey sex fans. Welcome back.

The marvelous educator, practitioner and activist, bendyogagirl, is back with us today. She’s here to dispense even more of her signature Sex EDGE-U-cation, don’t cha know. This is Part 2 of our conversation, which, I can assure you, will be filled with the same no-nonsense look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles that you enjoyed so much last week.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of this conversation, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #352 and PRESTO! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

bendyogagirl and I discuss:

  • Becoming Bendy and why the moniker;
  • Her passion for teaching;
  • Processing pain;
  • Energy play;
  • Bondage from the bottom;
  • Her polyamorous life;
  • The meaning of never and always;
  • Uni-polar sub
  • Kinksters and healing and helping professionals.

For more of bendyogagirl visit her website HERE! Her blog HERE! Find her on Fetlife HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s Podcast is bought to you by: DR DICK’S — HOW TO VIDEO LIBRARY.

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The Big Tease; How to Strip for Someone Special

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Here comes another one of my Sexual Enrichment Tutorials

Most people miss out on the pleasure of undressing with and for their partners. Stripping out of, or being stripped out of our daily wear and into something sexy. or nothing at all, is one of life’s big turn ons. It’s also a visual signal that we’re shifting out of our work-a-day world and entering the realm of sensuality. Stripping is an art form, ya know. In fact we all could all learn a lesson or two from the folks who do this for a living.

Few of us are natural born exhibitionists. The majority of us don’t know squat about how to slink out of our clothes without looking ridiculous. Like they say in the business, real strippers are born not made. OK, so most of us aren’t naturals, and I include myself in this group. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pick up a few of the finer points of this ancient art form and apply them to our own situation.

First and foremost, we’re gonna have to leave as many of our inhibitions and body issues as possible at the door. If you’re so self-critical as to think you’ll be absurd if you try, you mind as well drop the whole freakin’ thing right here. But if you’re into having some fun, even if it’s at your own expense, then step right up, cuz we’re gonna make you a star!

If you plan on stripping for someone you know well, like your partner; you probably already know a lot about what turns him or her on. Ya know, those little sexual peccadilloes we all have — fishnet stockings, a g-string and high heels, a white jock, leather chaps, armbands, and a cowboy hat, a Catholic schoolgirl plaid skirt, anklets and Mary Janes, things like that. These things well be the building blocks of your outfit. Remember you will be stripping down to something before there is nothing left to remove. So consider your theme and then layer from there. Each successive layer removed should reveal an even more tantalizing layer underneath.

• Don’t wear something that’s gonna be a bitch to take off.
• Have enough layers to keep the show interesting

Next consider the venue for your show. Since there’s gonna be a whole lot of dancing around, you’ll want the space to be big enough so you don’t have to cramp your style. At the same time you’ll want the environment to be warm and intimate. Set the mood with the proper lighting. And your venue must include some kind of sound system, even if it’s a portable boom box.

Either arrange your space so that your audience is seated in the middle of your performance area — so that you can slink and shimmy around him/her. Or consider a little homemade stage with curtains that you can use as part of your performance

Think about props — a chair or stool al la Cabaret works. You’ll want something to taunt your audience with; a seductive hat, a feather boa, a ridding crop, gloves — opera length or leather. There are even collapsible dancer poles available online for a touch of the authentic.

  • Keep the venue simple. You’re the star, not the space.
  • Mood lighting is essential; it’ll make or break your show!

The next consideration is the music. This is really important element to a successful show. A miscalculation here will fuck up your whole routine. Go the distance and compile a few different tempos on a tape, CD or MP3 player to really impress your audience. Arrange your music so that it will automatically flow from one tempo or song to the next. Move from a faster disco tempo at the beginning of your show — to get you and your audience’s blood pumping. Then a slower tempo Soul or Rhythm and Blues number for gettin down to business. Don’t choose something too slow or maudlin, it’ll destroy the sexy mood and the interest of your audience.

  • Your music selections should drip with sex.
  • Don’t interrupt your show to change the tape or CD.

To add an air of authenticity, adhere to strict strip club rules. Your audience is not allowed to touch you. And you are prohibited from directly touching your audience. Keep your communication non-verbal. Your audience must remain seated throughout. These rules will enhance the tease effect. If you want to heighten the effect, consider restraining your audience with a little erotic bondage. A silk handkerchief, or a satin scarf works to secure his/her hands and feet. Or you could always pull out all the plugs and get yourself some swell bondage gear online. I’m thinkin’ some leather restraints and cuffs will do the trick.

  • The strip is to tease and entice. So be naughty as well as nice.
  • You control the show and the audience.

When you’re ready to begin the show, start your music and seductively move or dance towards your audience. Let him/her have a good look at you and you’re outfit — front and back. Approach your audience then gyrate in front of him/her. Be sure to include some deep bending front and back. Let your audience get a load of the goods! Get as close to your audience as possible without actually touching. Close enough for him/her to smell you, or for you to swipe him/her with something you’re wearing. This is where a nice boa or leather flogger will come in handy.

Continue to tease and taunt and keep moving. Squat or use one of your props to lean against or partially sit and seductively open your legs or show your ass. Keep you hands busy on your body, stroking yourself, reaching into your outfit to fondle yourself. Feel free to touch your audience, but never with your hands, only with your props.

  • Completely dominate your audience through visuals.
  • Please through tease.

After this initial dance, move away from your audience and start the main show; the strip. When you shuck each article of clothing, don’t just remove it; tease with it. Toss each discarded article to you audience, or drag it over him/her. Being unable to touch you will enhance his/her sense of smell. Use this to your advantage. Wipe your clothing on your body before tossing it to your audience. The more intimate articles: bra, stockings, underwear, jock or what have you could be wrapped around his/her head and face.

Strip slowly and erotically; reveal only an inch or two of skin at a time. If you are about to reveal something on your front, turn your back on your audience first. If you’re gonna reveal your ass; start by facing your audience, then seductively turn around.

  • Build on the anticipation. Make your audience want more.
  • Stay in rhythm with your music.

Then, once you’re completely naked, approach your audience and present yourself in all your glory. You should be deliciously sweaty and aroused by now. Using one of your props, a dildo perhaps, wipe your breasts, your crotch and bring it close to your audience’s face. Try a lap dance or pull his/her face into your breasts or crotch. Get on all fours and seductively loosen his/her clothing. Your audience will still bound to his/her chair, so you can have your way with him/her. While on the floor use your feet to stroke his/her crotch.

Turn up the heat by masturbating for your audience. Tease or lick your audience’s tits, finger her pussy, or diddle his cock. As your show concludes untie your partner and lead him/her to a full-on fuck.

Good luck

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