Monthly Archives: October 2012

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Sex EDGE-U-cation with bendyogagirl — Podcast #352 — 10/31/12


Hey sex fans, welcome back.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Ya wanna hear something really scary? We haven’t had a Sex EDGE-U-cation show since late April. Now that’s just not right. Luckily, I have the solution to that dilemma on tap today. We welcome back the series that takes a look at the world of fetish sex, kink and alternative lifestyles and we do so with a remarkably talented, wickedly funny, and oh so pervy woman who has just relocated to the Emerald City from Boston. Hurray for us, bad luck for Bean Town.

My guest goes by the moniker, bendyogagirl. She is an educator, activist and woman of enormous wisdom. And if think those adjectives suggest boring, straight-laced or even wholesome, you have another thing coming. We will be touching on all sorts of edgy stuff and we’ll be sure to keep a smile on your face as we do so.

bendyogagirl and I discuss:

  • Her trip west;
  • Being a geek-hag and a goddess of ontology
  • The play aspect of kink;
  • Spiritual awakenings through kink;
  • Bottoming in contrast to topping;
  • Her classes on connection and intent;
  • Everything she learned about polyamory came from monogamy;
  • Kink as a context;
  • Body language and energy play.

For more of bendyogagirl visit her website HERE! Her blog HERE! Find her on Fetlife HERE! And follow her on Twitter HERE!

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

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Try as I might…

Name: Dan
Gender: Male
Age: 48
Location: Montreal
I’m a late forties year old man who has lived numerous sexual experience in the past, until I met just in the beginning of this past year a wonderful interesting, woman with all the qualities and values that I needed. We started our first sexual experience a few months ago, April. The result was quite a disaster. I wasn’t able to do any penetration on her. She insisted that she has a blockage, and I had no idea about blockage and wanted to leave her place. Now I tried to understand her, but her problem has two factors that I’ve never came across with a woman. One is that if I fucked her she would get vaginitis. She doesn’t have any reaction when I fuck her. However, the scenario with her is the usual. She would get into her closet wear something very daring and sexy and give me a nice blowjob and …swallow. I would usually experience just straight penetration, in any position in my past experience with other women But would this mean that the sexy clothes and asking me if I would cum in her mouth, compensated for her inability to have my penis in her vagina? She asked me that I would have to eat her pussy often so she would feel something. The last time I did I was eating her pussy for two hours with a few breaks until she came. My question is can I take this any longer, and what is the connection with her vaginitis?

Hell, Dan, I don’t know if you can take this any longer or not. What’s clear to me is, things are pretty grim, not just for you but also for your lady friend.

Your story is a little difficult to follow. I’m gonna guess that English is not your first language, right? But here’s what I think you’re trying to say. You are a sexually experienced man in his forties. You’ve recently met an interesting woman that you like very much. Unfortunately, the sex sucks…and not in a good way.

Your friend experiences pain while fucking, but you don’t know why. She says there’s a blockage and tells you that intercourse will only lead to vaginitis, which is an inflammation of the vaginal mucosa and often associated with an irritation or an infection. While this is a pretty common problem, it should not be an every fucking time kinda problem…if you catch my drift. However, this little lady is happy to give you a hummer to make up for this. And just to show you there are no hard feelings — she’ll even swallow your spunk. Well, she’s a trooper that’s for sure! Unfortunately, avoiding the fucking issue won’t solve the mystery of why fucking is a real pain in the pussy.

The two most likely reasons for this painful fucking are: 1) the woman is not aroused enough before the fucking begins, or 2) there is an actual physical condition that might make fucking painful, even if she is aroused.

It’s easy enough to eliminate the second option; all your woman friend has to do is pay her gynecologist a little visit and have her doc take a quick look around. If there is indeed a blockage, as she says there is, a gynecological exam will discover it and end the debate.

That being said, I’d be willing to bet that, in your friend’s situation the first reason is the more likely culprit. This is often the case with pre-orgasmic women and your woman friend sounds like she may very well fall into that category. If your woman friend has lived all her adult life without having an orgasm, she will sure enough be conditioned not to expect one any time soon — either through fucking or by having you eat her out…even for hours. And hey, you’re a trooper too for doin’ that, darlin’!

I’d be willing to speculate that she’s not particularly informed about her own sexual response cycle. Thus she’s unable to provide you much direction on how to pleasure her without discomfort. A woman, particularly a preorgasmic one, must come to full arousal before her partner attempts penetration. A man, on the other hand, needs only to have a stiff dick. This obviously makes them (men) more ready and eager for the old in and out long before their female partner is ready and eager for the same. If you are guilty of this, and there’s a good chance that you are, your woman friend’s body will resist you, even if she desires to make a go of it.

Your woman friend could start getting over this by being better informed about her own sexual response cycle. If she doesn’t know what turns her crank, she can’t expect you to know what to do, even with all of your experience. Once she figures out how her body works, and this information will come best through masturbation, she’ll then be able to instruct you on the subtleties and points of interest of her particular pussy.

Touch is very important to most women, especially in the arousal stage of things. Often women will want to be touched and caressed all over, not just on the sexually charged spots of her body like her tits and pussy. She ought to take you on a little touch tour of her body. Literally, she could take you by the hand and touch herself with your fingers. She should show you the kind of touch she likes in the places she likes to be touched. You guys will need to take your time with this. I can pretty much guarantee you won’t get it the hang of this first time you try.

With her help you’re gonna be able to see her arousal build. She could encourage you to use your lips and mouth as well as your hands. If she’s not fully aroused, her pussy will be dry. But even if she is wet, you ought to use a nice personal lubricant to make her even more slippery and to facilitate penetration. I can’t overstate the necessity of lots and lots of lube.

If you guys follow these simple steps, you will have greater success with your fucking. Your woman friend will experience great pleasure and she will, in turn, be a fount of great pleasure for you. In the end, your woman friend must take the lead in this. She must get to know her own body first, so she can teach you about it next.

Finally, let me turn you on to a couple of great resources. Both are SEX WISDOM podcasts. I suggest that you and your woman friend listen to these shows together.  The first is an interview with author Mikaya Heart. Mikaya is the author of The Ultimate Guide To Orgasm For Women; How to Become Orgasmic For A Lifetime. It is by far the best book about women’s sexuality that I have read in the past decade, if not longer.

The second interview is with sexologist, Dr Shannon Chavez. She is one of the co-founders of the revolutionary SHE (Sexual Health Experts) Clinic in Arizona. Theirs is a comprehensive interdisciplinary treatment approach to female sexual health needs.

Good luck

Hey dr dick! What’s that toll-free podcast voicemail telephone number? Why, it’s: (866) 422-5680. DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Vim, Vigor and Vitality

Hey sex fans!

It’s time for another Product Review Friday. Today we review a second vibes from the very fine Leaf collection. Oh and just so you know, Leaf is the 2012 XBIZ Award Winner for Sex Toy Company of the Year. So from our house to theirs; congratulations on winning this prestigious award.

But wait, you didn’t miss our previous Leaf review, did you? Well not to worry if you did. Because you can find it and all our reviews archived on my site, Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. Just use the search function in the header and type in “Bloom” and presto!

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew members, Kevin and Gina for the lowdown on today’s product.

Vitality —— $104.63

Gina & Kevin
Gina: “After we read Jada’s review of Bloom, Kevin and I hoped we’d have an opportunity to review one the Leaf line of vibes.”
Kevin: “Gina and I are all about GREENING our sex life. We are trying to avoid anything that isn’t healthy for us or our planet. That’s why we were so excited when we got the Vitality to review. The Leaf line is as about as GREEN as green can be.”
Gina: “I suppose some might consider Vitality a rabbit-type vibe, and in a way they’d be right. But there’s nothing traditional about its design. It is a double-headed, dual-motored vibe that resembles a new shoot of a plant in spring. It’s even the same color of spring. Vitality is a unisex vibe that can be use by either women or men. You can use it vaginally for G-spot stimulation and/or anally for prostate massage. But my favorite is as a clit vibe!”
Kevin: “I couldn’t get over the versatility of the Vitality. But that’s just the beginning. The Vitality is made from medical grade silicone, which means it’s nonporous, nontoxic, hypoallergenic, as well as latex and phthalate-free. It is odorless and tasteless too. It is smooth and silky with a matte finish. We found that we needed a few drops of lube when using the Vitality because there can be a bit of a drag without. Of course, you can only use a water-based lube with this beauty. A silicone-based lube will mar the beautiful finish of the Vitality.”
Gina: “The Vitality is also rechargeable. It takes approximately 2 hours to fully charge. The charging port is on the opposite side of the bulbous base from the control buttons. There is a light under the port that indicates it is being charged. Speaking of the controls, there is one control button for each of the ears of the vibe. The buttons lights up when you activate them and you can operate each motor independently. There are only vibration settings. No pulsing patterns. To turn the vibrations on you simply press the button and hold it down until you get to your desired level of intensity. To turn it off you only have to hit the button once.”
Kevin: “The Vitality is super quite. Which really surprised me, because it’s powerful little vibe. But my favorite feature of the Vitality is it’s waterproof. I can bugger myself in the bath and/or shower. And because of it diminutive size, it has a total length of 5.5” and an insertable length of 3.25”, as well as it’s flexibility, it makes it an ideal toy for guys just learning to stimulate their prostate. One of the ears can be inserted, while the other massages his taint (perineum).”
Gina: “The waterproof feature makes the Vitality not only a joy to use in the bath or shower, as Kevin just said, but makes it so easy to clean. Mild soap and warm water does just fine, but you can also wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol. The Vitality is too good not to share, and sharing is no problem because it can be sanitized using a 10% bleach solution. And just to prove to ourselves that the Vitality can stand up to a good sanitizing; we even swished it around in a pot of boiling water for a couple of minutes and put it through the gentle cycle of the dishwasher.”
Kevin: “Now a word about Leaf ’s signature packaging. Everything is biodegradable. The cardboard box is made of recycled paper. The look and feel is all GREEN. The box is fastened with a magnetically closing flap. Lift the flap, to open. Inside the box you will see a black packet, which contains the instruction manual presented in several languages. Below the user’s manual is a drawstring canvas bag containing the Vitality. The bag is thick and durable, excellent for storing and safe-keeping. Under the canvas bag is the unit’s recharger. Every aspect of the presentation proclaims that the designers and developers were serious about the environment. If only more adult companies were as environmentally conscious.”
Gina: “While we most often use the Vitality for our solo play, it is also outstanding for partnered play, particularly in the bath. And when it is inserted, it’s hands-free fun.”
Kevin: “We both think that you simply can’t beat the Vitality. Except maybe by one of the other fantastic designs from the Leaf collection.”
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

More of The Erotic Mind of Logan Kowalsky — Podcast #351 — 10/22/12


Hey sex fans,

The brilliant French artist, illustrator, craftsman and comic book maker, Logan Kowalsky, returns today for Part 2 of our chat for this The Erotic Mind show. I am so delighted that he has more time to share with us, because he is so very interesting and I was just getting to know him when our time ran out last week. Besides, I simply can’t get enough of his sexy accent.

But wait, you didn’t miss Part 1 of our chat, did you? Well not to worry if ya did, because you can find it and all my podcasts in the Podcast Archive right here on my site. All ya gotta do is use the search function in the header; type in Podcast #350 and Voilà! But don’t forget the #sign when you do your search.

Logan and I discuss:

  • Emerging trends in erotic comics;
  • His publisher, Class Comics;
  • Patrick Fillion and Robert Fraser, founders of Class Comics;
  • The Diemos collaboration;
  • Defining erotic art;
  • The line between the erotic and the pornographic;
  • Embracing pornography;
  • The missing erotic element in most pornography today;
  • His chosen media;
  • Upcoming projects;
  • Including different body types and age groups in his art;
  • What he looks for in the erotic art of others;
  • Advice for the novice erotic artist.

For more of Logan, be sure to visit his site HERE! Buy his comic books HERE! Look for him on Facebook HERE! And be sure to follow him on Twitter HERE!

Click on the thumbnail images below to see a slideshow of some of Logan’s work.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for all my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously. Just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode.

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Stockroom.

drdicksstockroom.jpg

A Word To The Wise

Name: DJ
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Location: Northern Minnesota
I’ve been in a gay relationship for almost 12 years now. My partner and I are very happy and I’ve been thinking about adding a new addition to our relationship just to spice things up a little bit. We were looking through the gay personals online and we found this guy who happens to be a patient of mine. He’s just our type. He’s a handsome, well built bear in his early 40’s. We’re considering contacting him, but we’re not sure if that would be crossing a line. So if you could give us some advice that would be great. Thanks.

Ahhh let’s see, the short answer is; yes, you would be crossing a line. Offering your patient a tryst, with you and your hubby would indeed be way on the other side of that line. Ya know the old adage, “Don’t shit where you eat?” Well, this is exactly like that, only completely different.

While I’m happy to support you and your man as you work toward opening your relationship by adding a playmate or two, the current object of your desires is, to my mind, inappropriate. I think it’s always ill advised for professional people in general, and healing and helping professionals in particular, to get involved (romantically or otherwise) with their clients or patients. There’s always the possibility of a conflict of interest, but more importantly, there’s the issue of propriety.

That’s not to say that this sort of thing doesn’t happen all the time. It does. But I think there are significant potential problems for you, the professional, as well as this other guy, your patient.

When I’m faced with a similar dilemma in my own life, I sit myself down with pen and paper and write out all the pros and cons of a hook-up, even a casual one, with someone I have a professional relationship with. Regardless of whether I know the guy through my therapy practice or by way of my production company; it’s all the same for me. These are lines I should not cross. But sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

So with my pad and pen at the ready I quickly jot down the “pros” of the hook-up. These are always so easy to enumerate. He’s hot, he’s charming, he’s fun to be around, he’s got a great personality and a wonderful sense of humor and he’s single. Hell, he may even be hot for me…although that’s less likely these days, now that I’m an old fuck. But hey, it could happen! So if I only consider the “pros” this appears to be a match made in heaven. What could possible go wrong with this idyllic picture? WAIT!

That’s where the “cons” come in handy. They are the bane of my existence, but they also keep me out of harms way. If I’m struggling to come up with a list of “cons”, I simply conjure up, in my fevered little mind, the worst relationship I’ve ever had. Frankly, this isn’t a particularly difficult thing to do, because I’ve had some duesies in my time, don’t cha know. The reason I let my mind dredge up the sordid past like this is so that I can remember how bad things can get when a sex connection goes south. I do this to create a worst-case hook-up scenario so that I can imagine what it would be like if the guy in question was not just an unfortunate choice on my part, but he was also a client or porn pup on the rise.

With just this little mental prompting my “cons” category begins to grow and grow. This exercise pretty much puts the kybosh on my ardor and I happily forgo the pleasure of the company of the man in question. Is it possible that I’m overreacting, that the hook-up could have turned out to be a sheer delight? Absolutely! But, being the kind of guy I am, with the bum luck that I have, I’d just as soon not take the chance that it won’t. I have a reputation, checkered as it might be, to uphold. And screwing around with the wrong guy is bad enough; I don’t need the added complication of him thinking that I took advantage of him given my professional association with him.

I invite you to do the same sort of exercise yourself, DJ. First create a column of “pros.” Why does this forty-something, handsome, well-built bear patient of yours with the online profile make a great candidate for a playmate. I’ll bet that you and the hubby already have this all figured out. Now, create your “cons” column. Try to imagine all the awful things that could happen as a result of a sex connection that goes bad — ya know, the jealousy, the bitchyness, the backbiting, the rumors, stuff like that. And when you consider that he’s being invited to a manage-a-trois, well you can triple the risk factor. Like I said, the object here is to create the worst-case scenario. Screwing around with the wrong guy is bad enough; you certainly don’t need to add the complication of him thinking you took advantage of him given your professional association with him. If things go bad and he brings this little encounter to the attention of the medical board, you’d be in a heap of trouble.

Of course there is always the option of terminating your doctor/patient relationship before the fuck. In this case I advise there be at least a two-month hiatus between the end of your professional relationship and the start up of the sexual relationship. However, if I was your patient, and you offered me this option, I’d choose to maintain the professional connection we have. I’d be flattered by your interest in me, but I’d know that it’s much harder to find a good doc than it is to find a sweet bone….even in northern Minnesota.

Good luck