Messin’ Around

Name: Troy
Gender: Male
Age:
Location:
Sir,
My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. She sometimes has experienced that her clit gets sore after we mess around. She also felt some pain when we have sex not right away but late on almost like a muscle soreness. She has had regular gyno visits with no problems. I am wondering if I could be too big for her. Do we need to increase the amount of lube we are using? Is there a limited number of times we should have sex in a weekend?
Thank You

What kind a messin’ around are you doin’ there, darlin’?

So let me get this straight, your GF sees her “gyno” on a regular basis and there’s no discernible problem in pussyville. That’s a good thing. But after she hooks up with you for a little slap and tickle her clit is very tender and she reports muscle soreness afterward as well.

Hmmm, I’m gonna go way out on a limb here and speculate you puppies are kinda new to the whole fuckin’ thing, right?

Let’s see, are you actively involved with her clit with your hands or mouth, or is this post-fuck tenderness simply collateral damage of you pounding away with wild abandon? I mean do you even know your way around down there? Or are you just one of those drop trow’ and commence the assault kinda guys? The fact that you don’t even know if you are using enough lube leads me to believe that you’ve got lots to learn.

Ya see the reason I say this is, for the most part, most youngens, and a lot of not so young people, don’t often take the time to familiarize themselves with the parts of their partners before sex. I mean there may be a lot of athletic bumping around and all, but that doesn’t necessarily mean ya’ll know what the fuck you’re doing.

And here’s another disturbing trend. A lot of young men are unfortunately picking up some of their sexual social skills, if you can call them that, from watching porn. And that, my friend, is never a good thing. Young women, on the other hand, often remain too embarrassed or uninformed themselves about their own parts to invite even a steady BF to stop for a moment and get to know their own personal cooch. Each woman is unique, ya know.

So you see how all of this lack of familiarity and perhaps even misinformation can cause loads of problems for novice fucksters. But the solution is very simple indeed — all you have to do is know yourself and know your partner.

One thing for sure, if you are swinging as big a pipe as you lead me to believe, it’s incumbent upon you to know how to handle that thang when foolin’ around with a delicate flower that is a woman’s muff. I suggest you have a nice long talk with your GF real soon. Make it a non-seductive, nonsexual conversation. Ask her to show you around “the promised land”. Have her point out all the really exciting points of interest…and there are a whole lot of ‘em. You’ll be amazed. If you think your dick is talented. Let me tell ya pal, it pails in comparison to a vulva.

Besides, this little exercise will give you loads of brownie points with the GF. You’ll also be a vastly more informed about pussy in general and therefore a much better lover. It’ll be exactly like playing doctor, only completely different.

Let me walk you through an actual structured exercise I have some of my clients, with similar problems as you guys, work on. It’s called a sexological exam. Ya see I never assume that a woman is familiar with her own genitals, let alone having her partner know what’s up down there. So I have my couples work together on this exercise. By the way, a woman can do it alone (a self-sexological exam) or she can work with a partner.

Think about it, this is a perfect way for you guys to learn about your own and one another’s naughty bits, as well as getting a handle on your sexual response cycles.

Here’s how it works. Your GF will hold a hand-held mirror between her legs. Have her point out her clit, vulva, vagina, both sets of vaginal lips, urethra, and if you have a speculum handy, you guys can check out her cervix. Next, probe her vagina, by inserting one of your fingers. Remember this is not a come-on for sex, this is an exercise to gather important information about how thing look and work down there. Don’t forget the lube!

With your finger in her vagina, ask her to flex her PC muscle. If you guys don’t know what that is you have some remedial work a head of you. To find all the posting I’ve made about the amazing PC muscles use the search function in the header, type in and Kegel exercises, and PRESTO!

What you guys will be looking for in this part of the exercise is your GF ability to identify and control her vaginal muscles.

Next comes a detailed touch test. I want you to stroke very square inch of your GF from her asshole to her navel, including her upper thighs. You are gonna be testing for and acquainting yourself with her sensitivity. I suggested your GF use a 0-5 point scale to represent the levels of sensitivity — 5 being the hottest, most sensitive and most pleasurable areas and 0 being the more neutral areas. Be sure to use all the numbers in-between. I encourage you guys to try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand.

Next it’s your turn to submit your body to your GF’s scrutiny. With the hand-held mirror between your legs point out your prepuce (if you go one), frenulum, glans, coronal ridge, scrotum and testicles. Have her slip a finger in your ass. Don’t forget the lube! Now flex your PC muscle for her. Yes darling, you have a PC muscle too. Have her feel for your prostate too.

Then she’ll use the same touch technique on you that you did on her. She’ll stroke very square inch of you from your asshole to your navel including your upper thighs. She will be testing for and acquainting herself with your sensitive areas. Using the same 0-5 point scale to represent the levels of sensitivity that she did — 5 being the hottest, most sensitive and most pleasurable areas and 0 being the more neutral areas as well as all the numbers in-between. Again, try this exercise with both a wet hand and a dry hand.

By the time you guys have finished this exploration exercise, both of you will have a much greater appreciation of the wonders of her amazing cunt and your fabulous cock. You’ll know the areas that need special care and attention. You’ll also know the kind of touch that is the most appropriate for each specific area. But most importantly, you will realize that mindlessly pokin’ and prodin’ away down there, like a blind man with a stick, is not how one goes about a successful fuck.

Good luck

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