Monthly Archives: April 2011

You are browsing the site archives by month.

GYRO-scope

Hey sex fans!

It’s our first Friday back from Spring Break, so you know that that means, right? That’s right, it’s Product Review Friday. And we have another excellent toy for your bum to tell you about. It came to us directly from the manufacturer, Nexus.

Have you been following all our Nexus reviews, right? If not, you’d better get with it. You can find them all HERE!

Today we have Dr Dick Review Crew member, Carlos, to do the honors.

GYRO by Nexus —— $97.79

Carlos
I am the proud owner of a growing collection of anal toys, thanks to being a member of the Dr Dick Review Crew. I started my collection back in October of 2007 when I participated in my first review. It was for one of the Aneros products.

I remember being so jazzed about getting a free prostate massaging sex toy. I was kinda new to the whole insertion thing way back when. I also had some problems associated with my enlarged prostate. Over the years, I discovered that regular prostate massage really helped the condition a lot. Now I’m an avid anal toy user. One might even call me a connoisseur.

Today, I bring you news of my newest prostate massager; it’s from Nexus. It’s called the GYRO. It’s not for the novice butt pirate, but if you know your way around your pucker and you’re looking for a bit of a challenge; then the GYRO is well worth your consideration. I like it very much!

It is a hefty bugger, weighing in at just under 10 oz. It’s thick and bulbous and has a rockin’, and I mean that literally, base. It is made of 100% high-grade silicone, which makes it the ideal sharable toy. I really don’t have any one to share mine with, my wife is not into butt play, but maybe you do.

Besides it being nonporous and phthalate-free, it’s so easy to clean and sanitize (a must for sharing). I just wash mine down with soap and water; wipe it down with a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution, or I can drop it in boiling water for a few minutes; or run it through a cycle of the dishwasher. Nothing could be easier. No fuss, no muss, no bother!

You all know that you have to use a lot of lube when inserting anything in your butt, right? Good! Well, in this case, you can only use a water-based lube, because, I’ve already mentioned this toy is made of silicone. A silicone-based lube would degrade the beautiful smooth finish of the GYRO.

Once inserted, the angled head of the GYRO hits my prostate with a bang, and the thick shaft fills me up plenty. As you can see from the shape of the GYRO, it is a butt plug. That means my sphincter muscle closed down on the neck notch of the toy, just before the base. Once in place, I just rock and roll till my heart’s content. It’s good healthy fun.

Like Dr Dick, I’ve become an advocate for prostate self-awareness. I believe that regular prostate massage, like the kind you get with the GYRO contributes to prostate health and vitality in most men. And a healthy prostate, increased blood flow and added muscle control are what makes for powerful orgasms, rejuvenated sexual ability, and stamina, as well as a stiffer cock. And that’s a good thing for men my age. I’m 50 now. So, like we say here at Dr Dick’s Sex Toy reviews; “if a fella can pleasure himself AND do himself some good health-wise…all at the same time; well that just about beat the pants off just diddlin’ just for fun.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY!

Healing Sexual Trauma through Sensate Focus

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with as a therapist is the aftermath of sexual trauma. And I know that the trouble I have with this is only a tiny fraction of the difficulty my client has as he or she faces his/her past. I share with you a correspondence I’ve had with a 36-year-old man from Boston named Trent.

Dr. Dick,
When I was 10 years my parish priest molested me. It went on for over a year. Mostly, I’ve been able to put this behind me. I’ve been married over a year to this really great gal. She’s been very understanding and supportive, and we love each other very much. A couple of weeks ago when we were having sex, my wife started to massage my bottom. This was the first time someone touched me there since I was 10. At first it felt good, but then I remembered how I felt when I was a kid and freaked out. I started to cry. My poor wife was devastated at the thought of triggering this painful memory. I told her it wasn’t her fault, but we haven’t had sex since. I’m worried, but I don’t know what to do.

Working through a sexual trauma, like the one Trent experienced as a kid, is difficult. But it is essential for regaining a healthy sense of the sexual self. I told Trent—and this applies to any anyone else who has had regrettable early sexual experiences in their past—that I strongly suggested that he and his wife engage a sex-positive therapist to help them get back on track.

Many people have dealt with some kind of sexually related trauma in their lives.  However, some trauma is more severe than others. Emotional scar tissue and painful memories may linger, but you can learn to insulate yourself from the disruptive effects of the past in the present. Thanks to the indomitable human spirit, most of us live through our difficulties and go on to develop healthy, integrated sex lives.

Sensate focus is a process that helps individuals move through painful sexual memories and heal the rift between the affected parts of the body and the pleasure they can produce. I thought this technique would be of particular value for Trent because of something he’d said: “At first it felt good, but then I remembered how I felt when I was a kid and freaked out.” This tells me that he was able to enjoy the sensations before the association with the molestation kicked in and ruined everything. Sensate focus offers a way to short-circuit this disruptive connection and rewire it for pleasure instead of pain.

What follows are structured therapeutic touching exercises for couples. They are not a prelude to sex. You need to be clear on that. Your genitals will be involved. There will be pleasure and arousal, for sure. But the object of this process is to desensitize the trigger (in Trent’s case, his butt), then re-sensitize it for pleasure. These exercises take about an hour one day a week over the course of a month. If you embark on this course, make sure that you dedicate that kind of time commitment. Please, don’t short-change yourselves; this is an investment in your sexual health and wellbeing.

You and your partner will take turns being the one touched and the one doing the touching. Both of you will have 30 minutes to touch and 30 minutes to be touched: 15 minutes lying on your front; 15 minutes on your back.

Week 1—Breaking the Ice
Structured touching will be unfamiliar to you at first. I want you to use this first session to connect with each other in a sensual and playful way. I want each of you to explore every inch of your partner’s body from head to toe, first the back of the body then the front. This first week, however, avoid one another’s genitals.

This isn’t massage, where touch is directed toward pleasuring your partner. Sensate focus exercises are about gleaning information. Focus on how it feels to touch different parts of your partner’s body in a non-seductive way. Be aware of the different textures contours and temperatures. Use different pressures—heavy and light; different strokes—long and short. Use fingertips, palms, the back of your hands and forearms.

When you’ve finished the first 30 minutes, swap places. This will work best if the one being touched relinquishes control as much as possible. Keep verbal communication at a minimum. Once the hour is over, thank one another for the experience and get on with the rest of your day. Don’t try to process things right then and there, just sit with the sensations. Or better still; write your feelings in a journal that you might want to share later.

Week 2—Making Things More Interesting
Building on what you learned in the first week; this time, kick it up a notch by expanding the structured touching to include anal and genital areas. These are sexually charged zones, but the touch must remain non-seductive. Begin the exercise with some full-body touching before moving on to the new areas. Again, the emphasis is on obtaining information and awareness of physical sensations.

This is where things got a bit challenging for Trent. When his wife touched his butt, I told him I wanted him to want stay in the moment and focus on who was touching him and why. Trent’s wife was not touching him in a sexual manner; she was gathering information.

Staying in the present helps take the edge off. If anxiety builds, deep breathing can help you to relax. Your partner will probably be very nervous too, so breathing together can be helpful.

A guided touch technique can also be useful. Place one of your hands on top of your partner’s and guide it over your trigger area. Try using more or less pressure as you see fit. Remember your trigger spot is just like every other part of your body. Even though an early trauma has sensitized this area to be off bounds, sensate focus exercises will re-sensitize and reintegrate it with the rest of your body. You’ll have to trust me on this.

Week 3—Mutual Touching
This week, we move on to mutual touching. However, it must remain structured and non-seductive, both in the giving and receiving. Mutual touch will provide a more natural form of physical interaction than the previous weeks. You’ll also be shifting attention from how it feels to touch to being aware of how your partner is receiving your touch. Keep verbal communication to a minimum. Let your body tell your partner how you are enjoying the touch. If you must talk, assign a number code to the touch you are receiving: 5 being, ho-hum, 1 being Yowsa!

Remember, no matter how sexually aroused you become, this is not a prelude to sex. If you need to release your sexual tension, feel free to masturbate afterward. No partnered sex during the exercises. Okay?

Week 4—Bringin’ It Home
This last week of exercises continues the mutual touching, with a focus on overcoming any final reservations you have about your trigger zone and the pleasure you derive from it. More of your partner’s touch should focus on that area. For Trent, I advised that his wife include a nice lotion or personal lube for this investigation. (Touching with a wet hand is different from touching with a dry hand.) While concentrating on his butt with one hand, I suggested she fondle his genitals with the other. By playing with the energy around Trent’s sphincter, his wife was able to redirect it and help him reconnect his ass to the rest of his body.

Try receiving your wire’s touch in different positions. Being proactive will facilitate the healing. While she is touching your trigger area, move your butt toward her to meet the caress. You’ll immediately see how being in control will help you move beyond any remaining anxiety. You are not just being passive recipient anymore; you are actively involved with inviting the pleasure. If there are still reservations, take it slow until they too, melt away.

Once he’d freed up his ass for pleasure, I told Trent be sure to incorporate butt play into his future lovemaking repertoire, but I also reminded him to take as much time as he needed to resolve the issue. There is no quick fix. I assured him, though, with diligence and care, sensate focus would remove the fear and shame of the molestation, and replace it with a sense of wholeness, joy and pleasure.

Good luck

Spring Break 2011

We’re all on SPRING BREAK, don’t cha know!


 

More of The Erotic Mind of Lucy Felthouse — Podcast #274 — 04/18/11

Hey sex fans, welcome back!

The marvelous British author, Lucy Felthouse is back with us today to finish the conversation we began last week. And, of course, she’s here as part of The Erotic Mind series.

But wait; you didn’t miss last week’s show, did you? Well, don’t worry if ya did, because Part 1 of our chat is archived right here on my site. Simply use the search function in the header. Type in Podcast #273 and PRESTO! But hey, don’t forget to use the #sign when you search.

Lucy and I discuss:

  • Her creative process;
  • Erotica inspired by real life;
  • Her erotica is fiction, not a diary;
  • Feeding her imagination;
  • Differences and similarities between erotica and romance;
  • Writing for a particular audience;
  • Writing rituals;
  • Erotica and porn;
  • Encouraging others to write erotica;
  • The people who inspire her.

Lucy also reads another selection from the fruit of her Erotic Mind. This week it’s from the anthology, Uniform Behavior.

For more of Lucy, be sure to visit her on her site HERE! She also invites you to check out the erotica supersite she founded HERE! And look for her on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE!

(click on the thumbnails to get more information about these volumes)

 

Today’s podcast is bought to you by: Dr Dick’s Sex Advice and Dr Dick’s Sex Toy Review.

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!

Check out The Lick-A-Dee-Split Connection. That’s Dr Dick’s toll free podcast voicemail HOTLINE. Don’t worry people; no one will personally answer the phone. Your message goes directly to voicemail.

Got a question or a comment? Wanna rant or rave? Or maybe you’d just like to talk dirty for a minute or two. Why not get it off your chest! Give Dr Dick a call at (866) 422-5680.

DON’T BE SHY, LET IT FLY!

Look for my podcasts on iTunes. You’ll find me in the podcast section, obviously, or just search for Dr Dick Sex Advice. And don’t forget to subscribe. I wouldn’t want you to miss even one episode

Livin’ it up, livin’ it up oh yeah!

Hey sex fans,

It’s that time of the week again; it’s Product Review Friday. Today’s toy comes to us by way of our favorite retailer — Adult Sex Toys .com.

Let’s check in with Dr Dick Review Crew member, Jada for this Friday’s show and tell.

Acuvibe Cordless Ebony —— $73.92

Jada
I have a fantastic toy to tell you about. Allow me to introduce you to the Acuvibe Cordless. This is workhorse wand type vibe that will knock your socks off with pleasure. Simply put, for those of us gals who need a lot of direct stimulation to get off, only a wand type vibe will do. For years and years I relied on my trusty Hitachi Magic Wand. And despite having loads of opportunities to test drive many other new-fangled vibes, nothing even came close to the sure-fire performance of the Hitachi.

Of course, there was one huge drawback to the Magic Wand; it had to be plugged in to a wall socket. So I was basically tethered to an outlet for my pleasure. I guess I didn’t mind that all that much, because it never stopped me from pleasuring myself when I felt the urge.

But now, I am tether-free, and oh what a difference it makes. I get the same powerful vibrations I used to enjoy with my trusty old Hitachi, only now I can pleasure myself when and where I like. That’s because the Acuvibe is cordless. No more fumbling around adjusting a power cord or finding I was at the end of my tether, just as my big O was cumin ‘round the corner.

And get this, the Acuvibe can run on DC power, while plugged in, or, when charged, it can go cordless. Basically, you get the best of both worlds. You’ll never, ever need batteries!

This Acuvibe is about as stylish and sleek as a wand-type vibe can get. It’s jet-black, or ebony, if you will. It has a slip-resistant coating on the handle shaft and up near the power button. This is an exceptionally resourceful design element. Because when I’m holding on to my Acuvibe, and it is a bulky handful; I don’t want it to slip out of my hands while it’s working its magic. This is especially true if my fingers are wet with lube or my own wetness.

And the Acuvibe is versatile. It is brilliant on a stiff neck or sore back. It works wonders on my feet too. My husband asked me to tell you that men will also enjoy the Acuvibe.

The Acuvibe can run for 45 minutes on a single charge. And while it is charging there’s a blue light in the base that lights up. There’s just the single power switch that turns the unit on and also changes from a high-level speed of 5700 vibrations per a minute, to a low-level speed of 4300 vibrations per a minute.

Clean up is relatively easy. Just be very careful not to get water (or lube) in the recharge port. That being said, you can wipe it down with a lint-free towel and mild soap and warm water. Or try a lint-free towel moistened with peroxide, rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution.

I hope I can find attachments for my Acuvibe. The attachment that I’ve been using with my trusty Hitachi doesn’t fit on the Acuvibe, because the Acuvibe has a smaller head then the Hitachi. If anyone knows where I could find such an animal, please let me know. Leave me a message in the comments section. I’ll be forever in your debt.
Full Review HERE!

ENJOY