I have two unrelated questions: 1. I love anal sex but am concerned that as I age I run the risk of eventually becoming incontinent due to the sexual activity down there. Is this a valid concern or will my sphincter remain tight enough to hold everything in? I’ve read conflicting opinions. 2. My boyfriend likes the twinks. We’ve been together for about four years and even though I’m only a year younger (he‚s 35), part of the reason he’s attracted to me is my youthful appearance. We have a wonderful relationship — supportive and loving and the sex is great! We even have a semi-open relationship, which is working fine for us so far. However, I’m concerned that at some point he may try something with someone under 18. He enjoys visiting those Barely Legal type porn sites (which hold no interest for me and look illegal). I’ve discussed my concerns with him, and he says I have nothing to worry about because he’d never do anything. But on the other hand, he’s not the most disciplined person in the world. I’m worried that if the opportunity presented itself he wouldn’t be able to resist. If that happened, it would then present emotional and moral problems not to mention legal issues not just for him but (I’m assuming) for me as well. I guess
I’m not sure what my question is. I know the gay community (and really the world) is obsessed with youth, but does this sound like more than that? Do I have a legitimate concern, or am I being a prude? Obviously you don’t know my boyfriend, but I can’t discern if he just enjoys the fantasy of a younger man/boy or if this could become a problem. If it’s just a fantasy then I have no problem letting him have his fun. Heck, he can fuck all the 20 year olds he wants as far as I’m concerned. (Maybe this stems from my insecurity of growing older even though he insists he will love me even when I’m old and grey). But, if this is more than a fantasy then what do I do?
Thanks, Dr. Dick! Your faithful reader
Let’s address your two concerns in turn. First, regarding your ass sex question. Your typical butt-pirate has nothing to worry about in terms of becoming incontinent. However, you oughta do what every power bottom does to stay in tip-top shape down there — Kegel exercises.
Don’t know kegel exercises from a hole in your head? Not to worry. I’ve written and spoken so much about this timely topic, whicht applies to both men and women, I barely have the energy to repeat myself. So I won’t!
All ya gotta do is use the SEARCH function in the sidebar to your right. Simply type in the keyword “kegels” and PRESTO! Just like magic, all my posting and podcasts that include that topic are displayed. You can read and listen till your heart’s content.
To your other concern, the one about your BF’s interest in the barely-legal crowd; there’s not much you can do about this one way or another. Most of the adult people I know who have a thing for the young ones keep it on a purely fantasy level. Those who stray off the daydream path and onto a course of actual pursuit find themselves in all kinds of jeopardy. Not lest of which is the ridiculous nature of the quest. Sounds to me like your BF already knows all of this. But if he doesn’t, it’ll be he who pays, not you.
My advice to you is; take him at his word and worry not.
Location: sutton in ashfield
I have large veins that stick out on my testicles are these anything to worry about
Some guys have smooth balls; some guys have hairy balls; some guys have veiny balls and some guy’s balls are all shriveled up. That’s all there is to it.
As we age some of us develop varicose veins in our lower extremities. It’s the force of gravity, don’t cha know. Varicose veins can occur in our nut sack too. Sometimes this is associated with wearing a too tight cockring for too long a time. But it is just as likely to be an issue of genetics. Not much you can do about it and there is no real danger.
If you aren’t experiencing any discomfort in your family jewels, things are probably ok and I wouldn’t worry. However, if you are anxious about this, or there is soreness or tenderness or you have other concerns; take your huevos to an MD and have ‘em checked out. Simple as all that!
Location: Southeast US
I am intrigued by nipple suction pumps, but cannot find much information about their effectiveness on guys. How long do your nipples stay enlarged? Is there any risk or danger in using one of these contraptions? Thanks for any help/direction you can give!
Nipple play is fun for both women and men. There are several ways of enlarging one’s nipples. There are low-tech suction devices, metal stretchers and the more high-tech vacuum devices. All of these systems are very popular. Have a look in My Stockroom for some examples. Just search the site using the key word “nipple”.
Wireless Vibrating Nipple Clamps (D120) $32.00
Tit Tuggers (C656) $125.00
The Titilizer (A237) $16.50
10-Piece Cupping Set (B264) $57.00
Snake Bite Kit (A300) $8.00
Nipple Suction Device (B092) $18.00
If you are a casual tit-torturer your nipples will stay enlarged for a few hours. If you are a hardcore tit-torturer you can completely and permanently alter the look of your nipples. Is there a risk or is there danger? Not unless you overdo it.
Location: Hoboken, NJ
I got this cute guy friend who’s asked if he can come on my vacation to Bangor, Maine (Stephen King’s home!). So I asked this guy, who’s single, if he wants one bed or two. He said it didn’t matter, so I booked one bed at the hotel. Does this mean he wants to have sex with me? I’m dumping down a ton of money, so I hope so!
How the hell should I know? He could be hot to get in your pants, or he might simply need an all expense paid holiday.
Why not just ask him. What’s with the coy routine? Of course, you could do like the hippies used to do and tell your cute guy friend — “Ass, gas or grass! No one rides for free.”
Hi, I have a question that I can not ask anyone else so I found your web site and would really appreciate your advice. Ok, so when I have sex sometimes instead of cuming when I have an orgasm, I pee. Sometimes I do cum though. But when it feels really good and I release, I release pee instead of cum. I just want to know if this happens to other people, and why this happens. And can I fix this. What can I do to make this not happen? I don’t like it happening. I feel bad for my boyfriend who has to have pee on his penis. Please, please, please take the time to reply to me. Thank you for your time. Have a great day.
Are you sure that what you are experiencing is pee? Could it possibly be that you are ejaculating? For a good deal of information on this, check out the site called The Clitoris.
Of course, lots of women feel like they have to pee when they cum. In fact, lots of women actually do pee as they cum.
If indeed you are peeing when you cum, I’d say you are experiencing what we in the business call — stress incontinence.
Stress incontinence can happen just about any time. Anxiety, stress, working out, jogging, fucking can all trigger this type of incontinence.
Curiously enough, research shows that younger women actually have more stress incontinence during sex than do older women. While only 3% of women over age 65 reported incontinence during sexual activity, 29% of women under age 60 did.
Regardless of the cause of the stress incontinence — nervousness, exercise or sex there is one common denominator. It’s always related to the strength of a woman’s pelvic floor muscles. The weaker those muscles are, the more likely a woman will leak pee during physical exercise, fucking, sneezing or even laughing.
While many women experience stress incontinence from time to time, there’s a relatively simple solution to the problem. Your pelvic muscles and the tissues surrounding them get stretched out and damaged with time. Pregnancies will also do a number on these muscles. They also weaken with age. And if you are overweight, well that will weaken pelvic floor muscles too as well as add to the likelihood of stress incontinence.
So you might be asking right about now, what IS this simple solution? Why, it’s Kegel exercises, of course. (See my response to the first correspondent above.)
Good luck ya’ll