Stand by someone, ya’ll!
I’m on a bit of a podcast holiday till next Monday.
Location: Southern Calif
I’ve been a widower for 9 years now. But before she died it was always my fantasy to see her suck another guy’s cock. Since she’s passed away I’ve had this fantasy of me sucking another guy’s cock. This never crossed my mind before she died. Can you help me understand this?
Hmmm, Frasier, let me see if I got this straight. You’ve been a widower for 9 years. However, while your wife was still living you had a fantasy of watching her suck another guy’s cock. Ok, not a particularly odd fetish that. But I am unclear about one thing. Did this wife sucking other guy’s cock actually happen, or not? Not that this is particularly important, just wondering. So, now 9 years later you say you suddenly have the urge to smoke some pole yourself, even though you’ve never thought of doing this before. Is this correct?
Ahhh even if I understand you correctly, I don’t get the question. Wait, maybe there is no question? Maybe you’re just curious about why a 63 year old confirmed, dyed in the wool straight heterosexual guy like you suddenly realizes he want to suck himself some cock. I can see how you might find this little discovery a bit disconcerting, but it’s certainly not unprecedented. I guess you’re being startled out of our sexual complacency, huh? Not to worry, it may simply be situational. You are probably worried that this makes you queer, right? I think we can safely say that your curious new interest means no such thing.
Let’s just say for the sake of argument that you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other dude’s johnson. Ok, then what? Well, basically nothing. If you find, after this little adventure, that you don’t much like sucking cock and that you’re really still into pussy. No harm done. You experimented a little and you now have more information about yourself then you did before the experimental blowjob. You may simply discover that you only like having your female partners do the cock sucking while you do the watching. Like I said, a relatively harmless and unremarkable fetish.
But, what if you decide to pursue this little jones of yours and you actually take the opportunity to wrap your lips around some other guy’s johnson and you really like it. Well that’s a horse of different color, isn’t it? Then you’ll have to come to grips with the realization that despite you long history of straight heterosexualism, you might be, at this point in your life, kinda bisexual. How fun for you!
There is of course another explanation. Some exclusively straight heterosexual guys suck dick not because it’s a turn on…the dick sucking that is. They do it to be submissive. Alrighty, whatever turns one’s crank!
I think we can safely say that for the most part, humans are not sexual automatons. Given a more permissive and sex-positive culture then our own, we’d all be more fluid in our eroticism and sexual expression. It’s true; you are in unfamiliar waters, sexually speaking. But it’s just a little adventure, not the end of the world. I hope you give yourself permission to experiment a bit.
Ya know, you could hook up with a male escort or see an erotic masseur for a little taste. In fact, I’d tell the provider what you just told me. Let him know you’re looking to experiment a little, but you’re unsure how to begin. I’ll bet the provider will be very helpful. Write back sometime, I’d love to know how it goes for you.
Location: Southern Calif
Love doing tina with masturbation and watching really hot porn. Think this is just social fun?
Nope, I don’t Joey. Despite the prevalence of this dastardly drug, there is nothing fun about tina…crystal meth for those unfamiliar with the term “tina”. If you love doing tina for whatever reason, I’d wager you’re hooked on that shit.
Listen, I’m not prude when it comes to using some drugs recreationally. But I think that we’d do well to stick to those drugs that are more natural. The less processing involved (and meth is the worst in that regard) and fewer added chemicals (OMG, the crap they put in crystal) the better, in my humble opinion.
Despite the admitted high ya get, recent research shows that long-term meth use destroys nerve cells in the brain that regulate dopamine, muscle movement, memory, and decision-making. This damage can be wide-spread and permanent.
Your body reacts to crystal meth the same way it reacts to danger. Crystal floods the body with adrenaline — the same hormone that prepares us for emergencies. Adrenaline gives a super-charge of strength and endurance so the body can deal with danger and injury. But artificially triggering this response over and over again will have serious consequences.
When you use crystal, your nervous system shifts into high gear. The brain floods your body with “danger” messages. Your body responds immediately to what it thinks is a threat. It prepares to fight or to run away. Common body responses to perceived danger include:
- Pupils dilate to let in more light.
- Hair stands on end (“getting goose bumps”).
- Blood vessels just under the skin constrict.
- Body temperature goes up
Regular, long-term crystal use will diminish sores of neurotransmitters. Episodes of paranoia and anxiety become more frequent and longer lasting. Blocked blood vessels within the brain can lead to increased chances of stroke.
Crystal fucks with your dopamine levels. Dopamine delivers a sense of reward and pleasure. It is also associated with body movement. Too little dopamine causes paralysis or a Parkinson’s-like tremors and rigidity. Too much dopamine and a person can become paranoid, hear voices and get twisted thoughts. Sound familiar?
Crystal fucks with your serotonin levels. Serotonin is involved in regulating sleep and sensory perception. It plays a role in moods and regulating body temperature. Serotonin is involved with many emotional disorders like schizophrenia, phobias, super-aggressive states and obsessive-compulsive behavior. Too much serotonin can make it difficult (or impossible) to have an orgasm. And of course there’s the dreaded “crystal dick”…the inability to get it up.
Joey, listen up! You’re way too young with too much of your life ahead of you to self-inflict so much serious irreparable damage on yourself. If this weren’t such a troublesome drug, there wouldn’t be such a virulent anti and reformed tweeker community out there. Want to know the real truth about “tina” check in at: crystalmeth.org. You’ll be glad you did.
Location: Raleigh, NC
My boyfriend and I are 20. We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love. But we have a problem. I’m pro-choice and he isn’t. He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that. It’s my choice because it’s my body. But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.
Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Where do you go from here? Simply put? Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to. This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick. That’s never a good thing. It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship. Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again. I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are. But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual ultimatums. EVER.
There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too. You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time. Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.
WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life? Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception. And you both should practice at least one foolproof method. If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking. Get it?
Here’s the deal. I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy. And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it. But wait! What if the BF is opposed to contraception? It sure sounds to me like he might. Well then you really are shit out of luck. No fucking for you till you’re married. No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married. Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.
Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking. But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh? So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.
Good luck ya’ll
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