It’s May! It’s National Masturbation Month!
YES darling, there is such a thing!
Tra la! It’s May!
The lusty month of May!
That darling month when ev’ryone throws
It’s time to do
A wretched thing or two,
And try to make each precious day
One you’ll always rue!
It’s May! It’s May!
The month of “yes you may,”
The time for ev’ry frivolous whim,
Proper or “im.”
It’s wild! It’s gay!
A blot in ev’ry way.
The birds and bees with all of their vast
Gaze at the human race aghast,
The lusty month of May.
— Alan Jay Lerner
Let’s all MASTURBATE!
Or just play with yourself right where you are!