MAY is National Masturbation Month!

That’s right, SEX FANS, there’s an entire month dedicated to Jackin’ & Jillin’ Off. I believe this designation came directly from Dick Cheney’s office. That man is wild! If it isn’t his pregnant lesbiterian daughter, it’s a month devoted to the pleasures of Onanism. YOU GO, DICK!

To celebrate, THE CENTER FOR SEX & CULTURE in San Francisco (of course) is throwing its annual Masturbate-A-Thon! And I want everyone in my audience to participate. Set aside a little time everyday through the end of the month for some personal recreation — Slice Your Pie or Beat Your Meat. And when you’re finished, mozie on over to the Masturbate-A-Thon website and either donate or pledge your support.

Here’s how you can participate.

• Attend the Masturbation Party. Get your pals to pledge for every minute or every orgasm. The daring can choose to become a masturbation porn star, showing all for the LIVE internet streaming cameras.
• Masturbate From Home! This is the funnest pledge drive ever. Get your friends to sponsor you by the minute or by the orgasm. You have all day to achieve your masturbation goals.
• Watch The Event On The Web! Enjoy the event from the privacy of your own home? Watch the live feed from the event itself and don’t forget to touch yourself impurely. What Fun!
• Donate Or Pledge! Check out all the scheduled performers and pledge for the ones that tickle your fancy. All money is tax deductible.

When? Saturday, May 26th: 4:00 pm – 10:00 pm

2007 Masturbate-a-thon Competitions

• Longest Squirt Distance
• Longest Time Masturbating
• Most Orgasms
• Tag Team Fun

Entertainment will include:

— Opera Singers
— Sexy Furries
— Sex Educators Dr. Carol Queen and Nina Hartley
— The Screaming Streaming Stage

BE THERE, OR BE SQUARE!